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SERVANT LEADERS IN THE CHURCH
DE ACON MAGA ZINE® Summer 2018
How to Enjoy the
Gift of Sabbath
A Day of Rest As a Blessing Rather Than a Burden
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The Overcommitted Deacon 5 Keys to Surviving the Storm Page 22
What to Do When Someone Has a
Meltdown Providing Support, Stability, Truth, and Prayer
Page 30
Deacons: Leaders in Congregational Singing An Interview with Keith Getty
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OVERWHELMED
Servant leaderS WE BELIEVE Strong are an important part of ministry
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SERVANT LEADERS IN THE CHURCH
DE ACON MAGA ZINE ® Spring 2018
MANAGING CRISES
A Pastor’s Insights After a Bus Accident Took 13 Church Members’ Lives Page 19
MANAGING
CHANGE
Help deacons learn more about their ministry role in your church and community and connect real-life current conditions in church leadership with biblical truths written by key leaders.
8 Ideas for Deacons’ Wives During a Church Crisis
How You Can Help Your Husband and Your Church in Tense Circumstances Page 25
Top 10 Predictable Seasons for Conflict in the Church When to Be on Your Guard Page 30
The Role of a Pastor and Deacon in 2020 What changes and what stays the same? Page 34
Your Church in a Changing Community How a Pastor and Deacons Have Managed 20 Years of Change
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Find out about our MINISTRY RATE at www.lifeway.com/magazines or call us at 1-800-458-2772
From One Leader to Another by Mark Dance
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DEACON MAGAZINE
develops strong servant leaders who partner with the pastor in fulfilling the church’s mission & ministry. VOLUME 48, NUMBER 4
Summer 2018
Eric Geiger Senior Vice President, LifeWay Resources Faith Whatley Director, Adult Ministry Emily Chadwell Manager, Adult Ministry Magazines
and Devotionals Mark Dance Executive Editor Nancy Comeaux Production Editor Dawn Wyse Graphic Design Specialist
editorial services provided by Craig Webb graphic design services provided by Edward A. Crawford Send questions/comments to: Content Editor, Deacon Magazine One LifeWay Plaza Nashville, TN 37234 Or make comments on the Web at lifeway.com Printed in the United States of America
Cover: Getty Images Deacon Magazine (ISSN 0045-9771; Item 005075215) is published quarterly by LifeWay Christian Resources, One LifeWay Plaza, Nashville, TN 37234, Thom S. Rainer, President. © 2018 LifeWay Christian Resources. For inquiries, visit lifeway.com, or write LifeWay Church Resources Customer Service, One LifeWay Plaza, Nashville, TN 37234. For subscriptions or subscription address changes, visit lifeway.com/magazines, fax 615-251-5818, or write to the above address. For orders with three or more issues shipped to one address, mailed quarterly, at the ministry rate, visit lifeway.com/magazines, fax 615-251-5933, or write to the above address. Annual individual or gift subscription: $16.00. Save off the cover price by choosing the ministry rate when placing your order (three or more issues shipped to one address, mailed quarterly): $3.60 each per quarter, plus shipping. Please allow six to eight weeks for arrival of first issue. We believe that the Bible has God for its author; salvation for its end; and truth, without any mixture of error, for its matter; and that all Scripture is totally true and trustworthy. The 2000 statement of The Baptist Faith and Message is our doctrinal guideline. Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Christian Standard Bible®, Copyright 2017 by Holman Bible Publishers. Scripture marked (NKJV) taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, IL 60188. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com. The “NIV” and “New International Version” are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™ Deacon Magazine often lists websites that may be helpful to our readers. Our staff verifies each site’s usefulness and appropriateness prior to publication. However, website content changes quickly, so we encourage you to approach all websites with caution. Make sure sites are still useful and appropriate before sharing them with friends and family.
Oxygen Mask WOULD YOU BELIEVE me if I told you that the health of your church is connected to your own health? It is without a hint of hyperbole that I suggest a church will never be healthier than its pastors and deacons. Packed into the issue you are holding are nuts-andbolts articles on how to keep the deacons and pastor(s) in your church from getting overwhelmed. Burnout is not only possible, it is probable for overcommitted church leaders. Burnout is not inevitable, however! Your church leaders can get and stay healthy if you are intentional about it. Imagine your deacons serving with energy and enthusiasm instead of dragging into your next meeting or ministry project. Imagine your pastor bringing the fire into the pulpit instead of constantly putting out fires that get him burned or burned out. Smart leaders will use the oxygen mask on themselves before they pass it around to the other passengers. Consider the issue in your hands to be LifeWay’s oxygen mask for potentially overwhelmed deacons. The contributors to this issue are speaking the truth in love from firsthand experience. After you have read through this issue, make sure other deacons have a copy also, because we all need to be equipped and encouraged, don’t we? If you want more oxygen, check out our deacon training videos on Ministry Grid at ministrygrid.com/deacon. Be encouraged!
Dr. Mark Dance Director/LifeWay Pastors
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Contents
MY LIFE
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Summer 2018
MY MINISTRY
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MY CHURCH
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OVER-
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DEACON MAGAZINE
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Features 12 Deacons Protecting the Blind Side
4 Actions to Protect Your Pastor and Your People by Rick Ezell
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njoy the Gift of Sabbath E A Day of Rest as a Blessing Rather Than a Burden by Mark Dance
19 How to Deal with Depression
What the Bible Says and 8 Strategies for Dealing with It by Sam Williams
22 T he Overcommitted Deacon 5 Keys to Surviving the Storm by Matt Tulllos
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34 C reating a Healthy Culture Seeking God’s Best for Your Church by Mike Carlisle
od’s Men for God’s Man G How to Be a Pastor’s Friend by Stephen Hatfield
ealthy Pastors Leading Healthy 37 H
28 T he Best Kind of Weariness
Churches
Where can ministry couples get help? by Mark Dance
A Deacon’s Wife Sharing the Load and Sharing the Blessing by Diana Davis
hat to Do When Someone Has 30 W
eacons: Leaders in Congregational 40 D
Singing
An Interview with Keith Getty by Craig Webb
a Meltdown
Providing Support, Stability, Truth, and Prayer by Don Pucik
verwhelmed: One Pastor’s Story 43 O You don’t have to do this alone. by Dan Garland
In Every Issue 3
From One Leader to Another by Mark Dance 6 From the Heart of a Pastor by Gary Richardson 8 Being God’s Man by Kris Dolberry
10 My Favorite Deacon
46 Deacons Meetings (June-August)
by Joe McKeever 11 Soundbites 32 Plan of Salvation 42 Soundbites: Overwhelmed
by Ron Brown 49 Toolbox by Ben Reed 50 And Another Thing ...
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From the Heart of a Pastor
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Those Men Called Deacons
They are unifiers. They are healers. They are warriors. by GARY RICHARDSON
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GREW UP AS A PASTOR’S KID in a Mississippi delta town. I remember as a child hearing stories of those men in the church called deacons. Some of the stories were funny. Some were interesting in other ways, but most were positive and let me know early on that deacons were good men. Most of all, I knew my dad loved deacons. When I became an adult, my family and I became very active in our local church. I was asked to serve as a deacon, and I did so for 15 years. That was when I began to understand the significant role deacons play in the life of the church. I was 40 when God called me to preach and have now been a pastor for 27 years. I’ve served three wonderful churches and have been able to work with lots of those men called deacons. I can honestly say I don’t remember one contentious meeting with deacons. The men who have served at my side have been kingdom-minded and have carried out their duties in remarkable ways. They have not been “yes-men” but have, with rare exception, walked step by step with me to follow our Lord’s direction as we understood it. I’ve had many memorable experiences with deacons over the years. One that particularly stands out happened just before our church went into an extended time of intentional renewal. So much had gone into the planning for this season, and we were only days away from beginning.
In addition to being tired, I had struggled for weeks with the darkest depression I had ever experienced. I had suffered with this practically alone (only my wife knew) until I finally realized I was experiencing a spiritual attack. To have periods of melancholy was not unusual for me, but this was more. I prayed and begged God to rebuke the evil one and take this away. It persisted. That night I walked into our deacons meeting so weighed down that I felt I could barely move. I saw all those guys sitting around the table, and I knew what I had to do. I told them I was in trouble, and I asked them to pray. Those deacons got on their faces before God and interceded for their pastor. This went on for quite some time. I don’t remember doing anything else that night. When we left, I got in my car praising God for men like this. They didn’t think I was crazy. They just prayed. The heaviness completely lifted halfway home. I’ve never known anything like it. God answered the prayer of righteous men. God has done something really special in gifting and calling men to be deacons in His church. They do so much more than the ministries they are assigned. They are unifiers. They are healers. They are warriors. Now I know why my dad loved deacons so much.
God has done something really special in gifting and calling men to be deacons in His church.
Gary Richardson is recently retired as pastor of North Oxford Baptist Church in Oxford, Mississippi. He served churches in Louisiana and Mississippi for more than 25 years.
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Being God’s Man
Being God’s Man by Kris Dolberry
3 WAYS TO SERVE YOUR WIFE IN THE LITTLE THINGS
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1. Take Something Off Her Plate It doesn’t matter if you are married to a career woman or a stay-at-home mom, I guarantee she feels overwhelmed by her to-do list. You have no idea the difference it could make for you to simply call her during a break at work and say something like, “Hey babe, I’ll take care of dinner tonight.” On your way home, stop by and grab an easy-to-prepare meal or something from a restaurant. It’s a win-win. She’ll
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To win in our marriages, men, we need first downs. We need to be consistent in serving her in small ways. have one less thing to do. And because she feels loved and valued, the likelihood is that she’ll focus some of that newfound time in her day on you. So whether it’s the groceries, the cleaning, the laundry, or picking up the kids, find something that’s normally a task she handles and take care of it for her. Just try it. You can thank me later.
2. Share Responsibilities My wife grew up in a home where her mom and dad shared grocery duties. I did not. From her perspective, a man would show his love for his wife by sharing that responsibility.
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HAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SPORT? Mine is football — especially college football. There’s something special about the sights and sounds, the pageantry, and the emotion of those college football Saturdays. I especially love to watch good offenses play. Though they may vary in style and personnel, there is one thing that good offenses have in common. They don’t try to put up six on every play. Sure, they’d like to. But the odds say that taking a shot at pay dirt on every play would simply not yield the desired result. A good offensive coach knows that if he wants to win, his goal should be first downs — not touchdowns. He knows that football is a game that is won by doing the little things right on a consistent basis. There could not be a better illustration of marriage. When it comes to loving our wives, we often feel like we must connect with Hail Mary after Hail Mary. It’s exhausting, expensive, and unnecessary. Now certainly there are times when we should throw up a home run ball. But your wife is not looking for a touchdown on every play. To win in our marriages, men, we need first downs. We need to be consistent in serving her in small ways — in doing the little things. Here are three things I’ve learned (mostly through my screw ups).
Unfortunately, I did not see it that way. I still clearly remember the first time she brought groceries home after we were married. She pulled up in our driveway and laid on the horn as though someone were texting at the newly turned green light in front of her. In her mind, that was supposed to signal me to come out and share in the grocery duties by bringing them inside for her. Instead, it just made me mad. While I thought she was passing her responsibility to me, what was actually happening was that she was giving me an opportunity to show her I treasured her by sharing in that responsibility. I have come to learn that she feels safe in knowing that whatever comes our way in life, we are in it together. Sharing responsibilities is a small way of reminding her of that every day.
heart, and encourage her in whatever fire she happened to be putting out that day. It meant the world to my mom to know that in the middle of my dad’s busy day, she was still on his mind and was the most important relationship in his life. Start today, guys. Send her a text to say, “Thinking about you.” Or call her just to check in and ask her how you can pray for her until you see her tonight. It will mean the world. So these are just three of many ideas. Be creative. The point is simply to remind her that she is your treasure and that like Jesus sacrificially served the church, you have the privilege and calling to serve her — even in the little things.
3. Check In
Kris Dolberry is a pastor, speaker, writer, and trainer of leaders. After serving in pastoral leadership for 17 years, Kris now leads Ministry to Men at LifeWay and serves as executive editor of Stand Firm, a daily devotional magazine for men. Kris is husband to Vanessa and dad to Konnor, Emma, and Brady. They live outside Nashville, Tennessee.
I still clearly remember being a 10-year-old kid at home during the summers when my dad would call my mom from work. He had no agenda except to check in with her, hear her
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My Favorite Deacon
by JOE MCKEEVER
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ARVEL PITMAN LIVED with his wife, Lois, on a farm outside Santos, Texas. According to their pastor at the time, Steve Lemke, longtime provost and now vice president for institutional assessment at New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, the old cistern behind their ranch house gathered rainwater that enabled Lois to make the best iced tea anyone had ever tasted. Harvel worked in the natural gas industry. His work sometimes kept him from church, but Lois was faithful. When Harvel retired, he became diligent in the church. He would
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show up unannounced to fix various things around the church that needed repairing — a sticking door, a clogged gutter, and so forth. Harvel had not been a deacon before, but his church was honored to make him a deacon when he was in his 60s. He was everything a deacon should be. The phone call from a church member said Harvel and Lois had been murdered. Steve quickly drove out to their place. He was relieved to find them very much alive. But they had just had a harrowing experience — one that almost cost them their lives.
Joe McKeever has been saved more than 60 years, has been preaching more than 50 years, has been drawing cartoons for Baptist publications for more than 40 years, and has been retired from pastoring for more than 10 years. These days, he spends his time writing books, taking every preaching invitation coming his way, holding deacon training retreats, and cartooning for the Baptist Press.
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Suddenly Tested and Proven … at Gunpoint
Some convicts had escaped from a prison in New Mexico and driven onto the Pitman farm. They found Harvel and Lois working in a field and forced them at gunpoint to return to their house, where they robbed them. The convicts instructed Harvel and Lois to kneel on the floor, presumably intending to kill them. At this point, in that familiar kneeling position, Harvel said, “Could I pray for you?” The bad guys were stunned. But they bowed their heads as Harvel prayed for them and for himself and his wife. After he finished, the convicts made the sign of the cross and gave them back $20 of the money they had taken. And then they left! “True faith,” says Pastor Steve Lemke, “reveals itself under pressure.” What Harvel and Lois Pitman were made of was plainly evident that day. Lemke told me this story, then added, “By the way, they are the grandparents of someone you know — Tobey Pitman.” I know him indeed. For many years Dr. Tobey Pitman headed up our ministry to homeless men for the North American Mission Board in New Orleans, until Hurricane Katrina put the Brantley Center out of business. Tobey and his wife, Kathy, now serve the First Baptist Church of Pearl River, a few miles north of New Orleans. This godly grandson is one more part of the legacy of a godly deacon who was suddenly tried and tested one day and was found to be pure gold.
Soundbites
TIMELY TIPS FOR YOUR CHURCH 9 Indicators You’ve Stopped Growing as a Leader
7 Surefire Ways to Kill Momentum in Your Church 1. You take credit for success. 2. You fall into a spiritual lull. 3. You become discouraged by the grind. 4. You give too much attention to the critics. 5. You lose sight of the mission by basking in the success of the past. 6. You lose sight of the success of the past and run past the vision of your people. 7. You ignore the wisdom of the church body. Source: lifeway.com/pastors
1. You can talk about nothing new about God and His grace. 2. You’ve read no new books in the last six months. 3. You haven’t recently tackled any “God-sized” challenges. 4. You haven’t shared the gospel with anyone in months. 5. All your stories of God’s work in your life are past tense. 6. You tend to avoid people who differ from you. 7. You’ve lost your energy and passion for ministry. 8. You no longer seek mentors. 9. You just know you’re not growing. Source: chucklawless.com
About one in 10 Protestant pastors says someone has embezzled funds at their current church. Source: lifewayresearch.com
3 Step Biblical Formula for Your Money 1. Give generously, 2. Save wisely. 3. Live appropriately. Source: artrainer.com
People ages 40 to 65 who attend church more than once a week reduce their risk of early mortality by 55% when compared to people of the same age who do not attend. Source: Marino Bruce: factsandtrends.net
People need to be on your heart, not on your nerves. Ask God to help you love the people he has called you to. — H.B. Charles Jr. Source: At the 2017 LifeWay Leadership Pipeline conference/FactsAndTrends
49% of pastors’ spouses say they feel like they live in a fishbowl. Source: factsandtrends.net
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4 Actions to Protect Your Pastor and Your People by RICK EZELL
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When Michael appears to be hesitant to use his strength and size while learning to play football, the mother reminds him of the time he protected her son in the accident and tells him that as an offensive lineman, he must protect his quarterback. Michael improves both his game and his grades to earn a college football scholarship and becomes a first-round draft pick of the Baltimore Ravens. Deacons serve a similar role: to protect the blind side of the pastor. Pastors, quarterbacking the church, aren’t perfect. They have dysfunctions, flaws, and insecurities. They have blind spots and blind sides, where not unlike football quarterbacks, exposed to hits they never see coming. If the pastor is not careful, his flaws will be exposed, no one will point out
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HE BLIND SIDE IS AN INSPIRING sports movie based on a true story of a young man taken in by a family. The movie gets its name from football nomenclature of a quarterback’s field of vision, as to the side and rear, when he is unable to see approaching defensive players seeking to tackle him. Thus, the blind side of a right-handed quarterback is the left side, thereby, raising the importance and value of a strong and agile left tackle to protect the quarterback. The storyline features Michael Oher, an impoverished high school student, who is taken in by a wealthy family. When the mother seeks to become Michael’s legal guardian, she learns he was taken from his drug-addicted mother when he was 7, and no one knows her whereabouts. She is also told that, although he scored poorly in a career aptitude test, he was ranked in the 98th percentile in “protective instincts.” Michael reveals those protective instincts when he misdirected an airbag deployment caused by an automobile accident, protecting the adoptive family’s young son from grave danger.
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potential problem in a timely and godly way. The church grew. The conflict resulted in an improved church ministry. Every church needs deacons like this group of men in the Jerusalem church. They dealt with the murmuring and complaining — a situation that could have easily harmed the apostles and derailed the church movement. Every church needs deacons to serve the people, protect the pastor, and preserve the church’s unity. The deacons can protect the church’s unity by dealing with conflict, complaints, and dissension. If not careful, the church will be blindsided by people who seek to harm and destroy the pastor and the church’s mission. Several actions are unearthed to protect the church — its people and its pastor.
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Evaluate the situation. The apostles brought everyone together to identify the problem and clarify the situation. In doing so, the apostles owned their part of the conflict.
Establish priorities. The apostles understood that certain people had distinct roles. The apostles’ role was preaching and praying. They could not delegate that responsibility to someone else. They explained their role; they did not cast blame. That’s a huge difference. By the way, if this text gives the church a glimpse into the first deacons’ responsibilities of serving and caring for the body, it also provides a glimpse into the pastor’s responsibilities of preaching and praying. Too often these roles are neglected, if not reversed, in today’s church.
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Enlist the right people. The apostles saw the need and knew that spiritually mature and godly men were needed to meet the food crisis. The New Testament’s emphasis on church offices is always on character and maturity, not status and ability.
Execute the tasks. They got specific. The apostles’ tasks were devoting themselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word. The seven men’s task was distributing the food — which resulted in excitement in the church. The issue was resolved, and everyone was pleased and happy. And the church continued to flourish. Isn’t that what we want — the church to flourish — just as football teams seek to win games and ultimately championships? For that to happen, the pastor and church members need protection. Deacon, you can be the left tackle, protecting the church’s and pastor’s blindside. It’s a vital position to play. Rick Ezell is a pastor and author living in South Carolina.
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his blind spots, or he will be blindsided by something he never saw coming. If it happens too much or too severe, he may not only lose a church, he may also lose a career. A pastor needs someone who loves him and will be honest with him. He needs people around him with “protective instincts.” He needs spiritually strong and emotionally agile people who will point out his blind spots and protect his blind side. Deacons can and should play this position, serve in this role, and carry this load. A group of men executed this responsibility for the early apostles in an event recorded in Acts 6. The apostles launched the church age, following Jesus’ ascension into heaven. They were spending time with God in prayer and study. They were designing the strategy, calling the plays, and training the players in this movement. In the hustle of a flourishing church, some of the believers thought the church leaders were discriminating against the Hellenists unfairly in the Jerusalem church. The Hellenists, coming from outside Palestine but now living in Jerusalem, were less strict in observing Mosaic Law than the native Hebrews. The complaint arose over the distribution of food to the Hellenistic church widows. Care of widows and the needy was a priority of Judaism and now part of the early church. The complaint could have easily ignited into an internal conflict. Such a matter was a threat to the early church’s mission and future prospects. Something had to be done. The apostles, not wanting to be distracted from their primary task, delegated the responsibility for this food distribution ministry to seven qualified men. The seven men were selected due to their character, not their special abilities, to plan, prepare, and perform the task so the widows’ needs were met. Interestingly, the seven men had Greek names, indicating that they probably came from the Hellenistic group. The text never employs the term deacon to describe these seven men. Tradition has used this experience as the inauguration of the first deacons, becoming a stage in the development of what later became the deacon office. And their actions have served as a model for the deacons’ role: Extend the pastoral ministry by attending to people’s needs. These seven men did more than meet a need that existed among the widows by distributing the food — they protected the apostles so they could continue in their primary responsibilities of prayer and the ministry of God’s Word. They protected both the widows and the apostles. And they remedied this
MY LIFE “‘For I know the plans I have for you’— this is the Lord’s declaration—‘plans for your well-being, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope’” (Jer. 29:11).
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Enjoy the Gift of Sabbath A Day of Rest as a Blessing Rather than a Burden by MARK DANCE
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WAS BONE-TIRED and worn out. My physical, mental, and spiritual gas tanks were empty. I justified my schedule — and my ambition — to myself, my family, and my staff as a temporary seasonal burst. “Like a sprint,” I said. I rationalized that CPAs do it every year during tax season, athletes do it before off-season, politicians do it before an election … blah, blah, blah. But just like when my car gets low on gas, my warning light came on. So I did what most driven people do when they get close to running out of gas. I began to go faster! While I thought I could leap (or build) tall buildings in a single bound, I came to realize I was a man of flesh, not steel. I paid the price for that stupidity. So did my family, staff, and church.
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There were no scandalous train wrecks or moral meltdowns, but the erosion had clearly crept into my life and relationships. My burnout had even turned into a season of clinical depression. All of this was avoidable. I had become spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally unhealthy because I had consistently neglected practicing the Sabbath. Humans have been hardwired to both work and rest. If we stop doing either, we stop living full and abundant lives. Each of God’s commands was given to be a blessing, not a burden. A good plan for staying healthy is to apply the Sabbath to your life.
Sabbath Is a Gift to Enjoy
The Sabbath originally was a gift to freshly emancipated slaves. Slaves don’t usually get gifts, much less days off. Yahweh wanted them to know that they were no longer slaves, but His sons and daughters.
He not only provided deliverance, but rest and food, as well. God provided twice the amount of daily manna they needed on the day before Sabbath, so they would not have to collect it during their only day of rest. What a generous God! He enjoys blessing us, if only we will let Him. “If you keep from desecrating the Sabbath, from doing whatever you want on my holy day; if you call the Sabbath a delight, and the holy day of the Lord honorable; if you honor it, not going your own ways, seeking your own pleasure, or talking business; then you will delight yourself in the Lord” (Is. 58:13-14). You would expect high-fives all around, but the Israelites were awkward with the new normal. The people of God were not yet used to life without their Egyptian taskmasters. Some even wanted to go back to that awful life of slavery. Embracing a new lifestyle on God’s terms took a considerable amount of courage.
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One day a week, disconnect from work and connect through worship and rest.
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Many resisted and rejected His gift, which was also a significant sign of their new covenant with Yahweh. We still resist and reject His Sabbath gift, don’t we? I sometimes marvel at how quickly I slip back into my chains of slavery. A terminally driven life has the lure of Egyptian bondage, yet the pressure to succeed still draws me back there. But there is a better way to live. I have personally experienced the pleasures of this wonderful gift and passionately want you to also. I’m not saying I have perfected the art of Sabbath keeping, because I still struggle every single week. But I am not going back to Egypt without a fight! I have found the rest of God right where He left it for us, in the open pages of His Word. God not only blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy, He also blesses those who courageously and consistently observe it. He wants to bless you as you explore and apply Sabbath principles to your busy life. You will find those closest to you will also be blessed when you consistently receive God’s gift of rest. At first you may want to resist these practical Sabbath principles, as the Israelites did. Your courage will be tested, but the payoff is worth the effort, I assure you.
Sabbath Is a Command to Obey
that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done. God blessed the seventh day and declared it holy, for on it he rested from all his work of creation” (Gen. 2:1-3). Balance is an illusion for driven people. Life is too unpredictable to balance. A better biblical goal is to live a life in rhythm. Athletes understand the need for a pre-season, season, and off-season. So do accountants and politicians. Even nature’s seasons and cycles remind us of God’s rhythm. Jesus demonstrated how our lives can be in a healthy rhythm between life and vocation. We see Him oscillating between work and rest. Sometimes He would encourage the crowds to stay and eat, heal one more person, or pray all night. Other times He would retreat to the lakes, mountains, or wilderness for rest and renewal. One time Jesus even slept through a life-threatening storm. Why? Because He was tired! A healthy Sabbath lifestyle includes seasons of intense work followed by periods of intentional rest. Rhythm is a series of sprints and recoveries. A life of work and rest and worship is an abundant life. Jesus wants and expects us to live abundantly and fully.
Sabbath Is a Plan To Implement
“Therefore, don’t let anyone judge you in regard to ... a Sabbath day. These are a shadow of what was to come; the substance is Christ” (Col. 2:16-17). Jesus Christ not only saved my life from sin and death, He also saved me from me. Jesus is the greatest source of strength and life-fuel for the driven Christian. I take the Sabbath seriously these days because it is a generous gift, a holy command, a practical plan, and a loving person. I hope for your sake, as well as your family and ministry, that you will too. “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take up my yoke and learn from me, because I am lowly and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:28-30). The application is flexible, but the command is not. One day a week disconnect from work and connect through worship and rest. “Therefore, a Sabbath rest remains for God’s people. For the person who has entered his rest has rested from his own works, just as God did from his. Let us then make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall into the same pattern of disobedience” (Heb. 4:9-11).
The application is flexible, but the command is not. One day a week disconnect from work and connect through worship and rest.
The Sabbath is a practical gift as well. It stops you for short periods of rest and refueling. Work six days, then take the seventh day off. Rest is refueling for another week to accelerate. Rejecting or neglecting this gift is nothing short of open rebellion. It wasn’t optional and initially was enforced with a death penalty. While those desert rules were intense (and fortunately temporary), they do give us a glimpse into the seriousness of the Sabbath to God. Number 4 on God’s top-10 list, the Sabbath is a 24 hour cease-and-desist order. Sabbath rest is not a punishment, just a reminder that we were created to work hard and then rest easy. We do not need to choose between the two. We pastors are among the worst at ignoring the Sabbath command. Motivated people like us don’t comply because we don’t want to, don’t think we need to, or, frankly, don’t know how to stop. Many of us are conservative in what we believe about the Sabbath but are liberal in our practice of it. Pastors work hard on Sundays, so don’t try to convince yourself that you are practicing the Sabbath when you are at church. Like others who work on Sundays, we must find a way to disengage from our jobs for a full day every week. God won’t let your job and family and ministry fall apart because you obeyed Him and unplugged for a day.
“So the heavens and the earth and everything in them were completed. By the seventh day God had completed his work
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Sabbath Is a Person to Love
Mark Dance is the director of LifeWay pastors, which seeks to help pastors win at home and church.
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How to Deal with
Depression Biblical Hope for Weary Hearts
What the Bible Says and 8 Strategies for Dealing with It by SAM WILLIAMS
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ONFUSION AND FRUSTRATION can grow out of the chorus of voices in the public square from people who claim to understand depression. Neuroscience and psychology offer many theories. Unfortunately, not all of them are based on facts and others are void of faith. Depression is not simply a medical problem or a mental problem, depression often is a being human problem. While medical and emotional problems can and often do contribute to depression, for others, this illness has very significant spiritual components.
What Does the Bible Say About Depression? Proverbs 12:25 mentions depression directly, “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word
makes it glad” (NKJV). That’s a good place to begin. In this little couplet God, via the wisdom of Solomon, provides both a diagnosis and prescription that can help people grow beyond depression. A heart full of anxiety is the culprit. Jesus said: “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30). In broad strokes, many Christians suffering from depression can find hope in biblical foundations. You can also find stories of the Bible where certain people experienced depression: Moses (Numbers 11: 10-16), David (Psalm 51; Psalm 32: 1-5), Elijah (1 Kings 19:1-18), Job, Jonah (Jonah 4:1-11), Psalmist (Psalm 73).
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When we begin to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and demonstrate love to others, we find true hope in God’s active love.
1
We have hope in God.
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We have joy in salvation.
We live in a fallen world, one in which good things may come to an end. The tragic dimension of life will be present until the kingdom of God comes fully in Jesus’ return. The joy of salvation comes from realizing, again and again, that our sins have been forgiven and that we will live forever with the eternally happy God — who desires that we share in His joy. We should never “get over” the gospel.
We should show active love for God and others.
Love for God and others is essential because we all at some time or another find ourselves sucked into a vortex of morbid self-involvement, which keeps us from following the heavenly prescription given by the Great Physician, the medicine that many need above all else (Matthew 22:36-40). “Teacher, which command in the law is the greatest?” He said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important command. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands” (Matthew 22:36-40). When we begin to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength and demonstrate love to others, we find true hope in God’s active love. This article originally appeared on LifeWay.com/Pastors. Reprinted by permission.
Sam Williams is assistant professor of pastoral care at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, Wake Forest, North Carolina.
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8 Strategies for Dealing with Depression Here are some practical strategies for helping others who are facing depression. However, never assume there are no medical issues that need attention. 1. Describe the experience. Ask people to describe their experience of depression in vivid detail. People are different, so depression comes in many shapes and sizes. 2. Identify the causes. Depression often is not just something we have, it is something we do. Invite people to examine their own hearts with this question: If your depression could speak, what would it say? What does it say about you? To others? To God? Depression is an active experience and can result from many sources other than the physiological: guilt due to unconfessed sin, false guilt, misplaced shame, ungodly fears, suppressed bitterness or hatred, hopeless grieving, and unbiblical expectations. 3. Read and observe Scripture. Ask people with whom you work to study Psalms 42-43. How does the psalmist address God? What does he preach to himself? 4. Act on the truth. Those who seek help first must accept the challenge of faithful obedience. Even though they do not feel like it and are skeptical that anything will make a difference, it’s important to have faith. Also, explain to them that progress out of the pit is step-by-step, bit-by-bit. Small, practical, consistent faith-based change occurs in the details. 5. Look at lifestyle. Evaluate and provide recommendations for lifestyle problems, such as overworking, lack of exercise, sleep difficulties, procrastination, unresolved stressors, absence of spiritual disciplines. 6. Resolve conflicts. Deal with troubled relationships, past or present. 7. Get to work. Assign active, loving tasks performed for the benefit of others. Helping others can provide a new perspective on life. 8. See a doctor. Refer depressed persons to a Christian physician to rule out physical causes if a physician has not been contacted already. Persons who are already taking multiple medications may need a physician’s care to avoid further complications.
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God encourages us to “call upon [Him] in the day of trouble; I will deliver you” (Psalm 50:15). Hopelessness is one of the hallmark symptoms of depression. The grace of God in Jesus Christ is the sum of all hope (Colossians 1:5-6, 23, 27; 1 Timothy 1:1). “God wanted to make known among the Gentiles the glorious wealth of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27). Paul, a man who had more than his share of tribulation and suffering, proclaimed, “We have placed our hope in Him that He will deliver us again” (2 Corinthians 1:10b).
MY MINISTRY “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you” (Matt. 6:33).
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The
OVERCOMMITTED DEACON 5 KEYS TO SURVIVING THE STORM Keep these lifesavers on board when you feel overwhelmed and overextended. by MATT TULLOS 22
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HE YEAR 2012 had been especially difficult for our church. A number of key long-standing members abruptly left our church in protest to the changes we had incorporated in our schedule in the hopes of reaching new people. At our monthly deacons meeting, we were discussing the issue when Carl stood up, grabbed his coat, and surrendered with a shocking declaration. “I’m out. I’ve had enough of all this!” As his pastor, no one was more surprised than I was. What had led him to this sudden outburst? After the meeting, I called and asked him to meet me at a coffee shop nearby. Well into the night, I listened to him share his story. Carl had bottomed out and had nothing more to give. The demands of a new baby and a wife with postpartum depression along with teaching a small group, coaching his son’s soccer team, and caring for his father in the late stages of Alzheimer’s had so wearied him that his despair was
unmanageable. I wept with him and realized that I had completely failed to put the pieces of his story together. It was a stern reminder to me that we are all strugglers. The storms of circumstance and overcommitment can send the best of us to the brink.
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None of us is immune to the ravages of adversity. We all have stories of troubles that come in bunches mixed with the trap of overcommitment. This includes pastors, their wives, and all leaders. The choices we make will ultimately determine our success in surviving and thriving in the midst of a perfect storm. By the way, if you are in one of those seasons where everything is manageable, you might want to tear this article out and stick it in your pocket. Chances are, you’re going to need it in the future. These following five choices are lifesavers that you’ll need to have on board when you feel overwhelmed and overextended.
CONNECT
as men, we often want to be that lone, silent warrior holding everything together single-handedly. Read the following sentence slowly:
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None of us is immune to the ravages of adversity. We all have stories of troubles that come in bunches mixed with the trap of overcommitment.
CONDITION
in other words, get moving. Make physical conditioning a part of your daily routine. Hit the gym. Take a walk. You might not feel like it when you are overwhelmed. If you get to the place where you are saying, “I just don’t have time to exercise,” then you probably need to exercise more than ever. Keep the body working even when life isn’t working. Drink lots of water. Stay away from food that’s handed to you through your car window. Fast food will send you on the fast track to burnout.
CLEAR
prioritize the important responsibilities you have on your plate, and clear the rest of it off your plate. I grew up believing God was most pleased with me if I had more things to do than anyone else. In my 40s, I had to create new paths in my brain to fully accept that busyness is not next to godliness. The following is NOT in the Bible. Thus, Jesus hurriedly got up realizing what an important day this was going to be. He ran to Galilee, and there He created 13 lesson parchments and visited 15 lepers in one night. Exhausted, the disciples verily tried to keep up with the Son of God but nay, they could not. They marveled at His time management skills and His strength in persuasive skills. People flocked to Him and stayed with Him for they knew that if He could accomplish such management tasks with great haste, effort, and fluidity that He must know the habits for being an effective person. Nope. It never happened. For me, living a clear life means spending some time clearing off my desk so I can think. It also means I need to look
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critically at my calendar and begin to say the most difficult two letter word in the English language: No. I confess. I don’t like the way it sounds when it comes out of my mouth. Especially when I have to say it to someone I love and admire. Clear your schedule, clear your desk, and clear your mind. It’s truly amazing how much simpler life becomes when your clear it up.
COOL DOWN
take time to recover from a difficult meeting, hospital visit, or funeral. Don’t put tape over the dummy lights on your dashboard. If the pace of your life is overheating, take time to cool down. Start turning stuff off. Put your phone on silent mode, and become mindful of what your body is saying to you. If you are overheating, you’ll get nowhere fast.
CONFESS
i’m not referring to making a confession of your sins, although that’s a good thing we should constantly do. By confessing, I mean turning to God and confessing that you are weak. I used to believe the following statement was Scripture: “God will never give you more than you can handle.” It’s not in there, and it’s not true. God will often give us more than we can handle for the expressed purpose of showing us that we must confess our weaknesses. However, God will never give us more than He can handle. And that’s good news. So what happened with my deacon friend Carl? Our amazing group of deacons rallied around him and stood in the gap as he navigated through the storms and recalibrated his life. He learned that he didn’t have to do everything. He’s still serving today but this time with more focus and support. His perfect storm served as a reminder of God’s grace in our times of weakness and overcommitment.
Matt Tullos is the associate director of communications for the Louisiana Baptist Convention and author of Movements of the Great Divine. He and his wife, Darlene, are the parents of four adult sons.
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This is not biblical. There was a reason God created the church. The Bible implores us to connect and collaborate in a shared journey of discipleship. If you are struggling or feeling overwhelmed, tell someone. Phone a friend. Yes, pray. But pray with other men who will have your back and walk you through the fire. David, find your Jonathan. Moses, find your Aaron. Shadrach, find your Meshach and Abednego. Connect biblically, or you may be Samson looking for his Delilah, and we know how that turned out!
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by STEPHEN HATFIELD
W
ITH A SIMPLE MAJORITY raising their hands, I found myself the new chairman of deacons. I had no idea how this would change my view of what pastors face and how a deacon is uniquely positioned to help them in ministry. My pastor began to call on me often to go visiting with him. He began to share his inner fears and frustrations and the situations he faced. At one point I told him, “Pastor, this is way above my pay grade. I don’t have any answers for you.” He replied
that he simply needed a trusted person to confide in. He needed to vent. He needed a friend. Additionally, I served as chairman of deacons under another pastor. He faced a church crisis involving a particular ministry that had strayed away from that church’s control and needed to be reined in and, ultimately, shut down. This pastor was strong-willed and confident. He didn’t need me to confide in. He needed outward public support for his position, which was the biblical position. I’ve discovered some Scripture passages that have helped me understand additional ways a deacon can support a pastor.
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Be trustworthy. When your pastor You can’t believe how important it is to do what asks your opinion, you say you’re going to do and be where supposed to be. be ready to share Congregationsyou’re can be long on asking honestly, but the pastor to do stuff but short on in. If your pastor knows you lovingly, even if pitching can be relied upon, this is priceless to him. it means disagreeing Be honest. Pastors don’t need yes-men telling with him. them what they want to
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Be a good listener. Good listening is a lost
art. A very precious friend of mine, a pastor’s pastor, gave me some sage advice to listen without trying to analyze or fix a person: “Just be a sounding board.” All the pastors I have spoken with have unanimously said how priceless it is to have someone they can confide in.
Be a source of true confidentiality. The dangers of breaking
confidentiality with your pastor can cause church splits, job loss, family break-ups, and destroyed reputations. A pastor’s confidant is a jewel in his crown. Never break confidence.
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4
hear. They need someone who’s honest. When your pastor asks your opinion, be ready to share honestly, but lovingly, even if it means disagreeing with him. When it comes to being honest, he needs to know you are telling him how you really feel.
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Be an unwavering supporter.
Most folks in a pastor’s life will waiver in their support. Rarely does anyone always agree with what a pastor does or says. If he knows he has at least one person who always has his back, it gives him confidence. Please note that I didn’t say always agrees. It is possible to not agree but still support your pastor. When I’m asked about whether I agree or disagree with what a pastor is trying to accomplish, for example, changing a worship service format or instituting a program, I like to reply, “If the pastor believes God is leading him in that direction, then I’m on board. As long as he is not violating Scripture, I need to support him.” Be the deacon who supports your pastor faithfully. Deacons are called and uniquely positioned to be the support system all pastors need. While not all pastors desire or need all of the above suggestions, they all need our support. Whether you are a deacon or a chairman of deacons, look for opportunities to be God’s men for God’s man. Steve Hatfield was ordained as a deacon in 1983. He has served as chairman of deacons three times under three pastors in two churches and as a deacon multiple times. Currently an undergraduate at Liberty University, he’s been married to his wife, Mary, for 40 years, and has one son, one daughter, and four granddaughters.
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Onesiphorus is mentioned only twice in one book of the Bible. Paul writes in 2 Timothy 1:16-18, “May the Lord grant mercy to the household of Onesiphorus, because he often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains. On the contrary, when he was in Rome, he diligently searched for me and found me. May the Lord grant that he obtain mercy from him on that day. You know very well how much he ministered at Ephesus.” The Greek word here for “refreshed” is anapsucho, meaning, “to make cool, to refresh; cooling again, refrigerating or refreshing with cool air the body when overheated.” Onesiphorus was “not ashamed” of Paul’s being in jail. He “searched” for Paul diligently in Rome. He “ministered” to the minister. Another biblical example is found in 1 Samuel 18 where King Saul’s son, Jonathan, treats David as a brother and even endangers himself to protect David from King Saul. Just as Onesiphorus “often refreshed” Paul in prison, there are ways you can “refresh” your pastor. Just as Jonathan’s soul was “bound” to David like a brother (see 1 Sam. 18:1), Jonathan knew God’s hand was on David. Know that God’s hand is on your pastor, God’s anointed one, and commit to his well-being. Here are five things I have learned that a pastor needs.
New from Thom S. Rainer Bestselling author Thom S. Rainer (I Am a Church Member, Autopsy of a Deceased Church) has a game plan for churches to become more hospitable. In a format that is suitable for church members to read individually or study together, Rainer guides readers toward a practical framework for making a difference for guests who visit their church.
Welcoming.Church or visit your local LifeWay Christian Store
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overwhelmed
The Best Kind of Weariness
A Deacon’s Wife Sharing the Load and Sharing the Blessing “Why do they always call on me?” “I am so busy.” “I can’t do everything!” Is there a chance someone’s overheard you making statements like those? Are you a deacon’s wife who sometimes feels overwhelmed with serving God? Here are three insightful tips to encourage you:
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Tip No. 1: Share the load, and share the blessing. God doesn’t call you to do everything in your church. God’s plan for a healthy church involves a lot more people than the deacons and their spouses. If a deacon’s wife is
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by DIANA DAVIS
bustling about, performing and sweating, and carrying the entire load of ministry, she’s robbing other Christians of the joy of serving. First Corinthians 12 clearly teaches that each Christian has a specific role as part of the body of Christ, His church. “Now you are the body of Christ, and individual members of it” (1 Cor. 12:27). If you’ve become overcommitted at church, ask God to give you wisdom to know which responsibilities you should keep and do well and which ones you should share with others. Begin immediately to help train others to serve. Observe women around you. Learn their spiritual gifts, life circumstances, and interests. How might God use them to serve Him? Faithfully mentor younger women. Regularly invite other women to accompany you in ministry settings. If you make a homebound visit, invite someone along. If you teach preschoolers in Sunday School, always be training up new leaders. “And let us watch out for one another to provoke love and good works” (Heb. 10:24). When you share the load of ministry, you share the blessing. One of the greatest gifts you can give a “peripheral” church member is to help her find a place of true ministry in the church.
Realize how fulfilling it is to serve Him. Serve Him enthusiastically. Let His joy show on your face and radiate in your life as you serve.
“Zeal for your house has consumed me” (Ps. 69:9). “Rejoice always” (1 Thess. 5:16). Realize how fulfilling it is to serve Him. Serve Him enthusiastically. Let His joy show on your face and radiate in your life as you serve. An elderly friend recently reminisced that the happiest days of her entire life had been those spent busily, tirelessly involved in our church’s women’s ministry group. It was hard work, but the joy of hands-on ministry in our community, along with the camaraderie of Christian friends and the excitement of seeing women meet Jesus, were the highlight of her entire life. Joy counts.
Tip No. 3: Even if you’re weary, give your all.
“Do not lack diligence in zeal … serve the Lord” (Rom. 12:11). Your favorite TV talk show, blog, or women’s magazine — or maybe even a Christian friend — may advise you about how to say no to serving God. They may suggest that you pamper yourself or just let someone else handle everything. Scripture, however, clearly instructs us to work urgently, giving our very best efforts to His work. It’s the best kind of weariness. A God-follower’s goal is not laziness. Her goal is to serve God wholeheartedly. Don’t quit. “We must do the works of him who sent me while it is day. Night is coming when no one can work” (John 9:4). “Keep away from every brother or sister who is idle” Tip No. 2: Joy counts more than (2 Thess. 3:6b). you think. But don’t be overwhelmed. God Himself will not only give you the desire, but also the ability, to serve in whatever way There’s a sobering verse in Deuteronomy 28. Moses was He calls you. explaining God’s promised blessings and punishments for “For it is God who is working in you both to will and to His people. Read verse 47 carefully to discover why they were work according to his good purpose” (Phil. 2:13). being punished: “Because you didn’t serve the Lord your You can do this! When you begin to feel overwhelmed, God with joy and a cheerful heart.” share the load of ministry with others around you. Work God’s people, in this example, were obeying and serving joyfully and purposefully —without complaining. And Him, but with a complaining and disgruntled attitude. know that God will reward your work. Mere obedience isn’t enough for God; He expects us to “Let us not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the serve Him with joy. proper time if we don’t give up” (Gal. 6:9). “Serve the LORD with gladness” (Ps. 100:2a). “I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you “Do everything without complaining and arguing” will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 2:14, NLT). (Phil. 1:6). Think about it. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, your whining and complaining simply drives others away. ComDiana Davis is author of Deacon Wives (B&H) and co-author of Across plaining never honors God. Joy, however, is very infectious. the Street and Around the World (New Hope). dianadavis.org
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WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONE HAS A
MELTDOWN
Providing Support, Stability, Truth, and Prayer
O
by DON PUCIK I spoke with family members and friends during that long evening in the car. Each conversation was like a lifeline in an ocean of emotional chaos. Then I got a call from a friend that God used to help me. I began to regain a sense of God’s presence and His peace. My grieving process had just begun, but my meltdown ended during that phone conversation. Why?
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NE EVENING DURING THE SUMMER of 2012, I was making a nine-hour drive home after a difficult visit with my father. Lying unconscious for days in a hospital room, he was not expected to live. No one knew when death would come, and I couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to go. Two hours after I left, I got the call that he had died. I could not control my grief. I had to pull over and stop repeatedly because the tears clouded my vision. I prayed aloud and struggled to process what I was experiencing with the Lord, but my heart was broken, and the sense of loss was unbearable. I was having a meltdown.
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WHAT IS A MELTDOWN?
a meltdown occurs when someone is overwhelmed mentally and emotionally. Confronted with a situation beyond their control, people in crisis can quickly become helpless or hopeless (or both). The crisis can arrive as a single catastrophic event, or it can form through a gradual series of separate events, building in pressure and intensity until a person “melts down.” Normal reasoning and coping skills are suspended. Decision-making becomes extremely difficult. The crisis “rocks the world” for the affected person, dominating every waking thought and provoking powerful emotions. Meltdowns happen because of unbearable and unexpected life situations. A wife discovers her husband has been having an affair. A man receives a pink slip after 33 years with the same employer. A friend receives a terminal cancer diagnosis. A neighbor’s son shoots and kills his father. A teenage daughter tells her parents she’s pregnant. A man dies on the way home in a traffic accident, leaving a widow and three children. Although the causes of the crises may be very different, the initial ministry needs of the hurting are often the same.
FOUR NEEDS YOU CAN MEET
when the call comes for you to be at to the side of someone having a meltdown, you may not feel qualified to help. Turn first to the Lord who is the “God of all comfort” (2 Cor. 3:3). He has promised to supply you with everything you need to serve Him. (See 2 Pet. 1:3.) He is sufficient! Trust Him to work through you to meet the needs you will encounter. During a meltdown, people need support, stability, truth, and prayer.
1. Support.
Overwhelmed by a crisis, many people struggle to express themselves and to make decisions. They need a compassionate person who will listen to their story or their silence, assuring them that it’s OK to share (or not share). After the initial impact of the crisis, affected persons may need help navigating their next steps. Protect them from being forced or rushed to make a decision that can wait, while affirming their ability to make those decisions that cannot wait. Practical ministry — like providing cooked meals or mowing the yard — reduces the stress on someone who is already overloaded by a crisis.
presence will often be an anchor in the storm. How long should you stay? The answer depends on if the crisis is still unfolding and if the person has someone else who helps provide a stable environment. I have stayed overnight in hospital waiting rooms knowing family members were facing an end-of-life decision, unwilling to leave them alone. On other occasions, I have waited in someone’s home for hours until a relative or friend arrived who provided a sense of safety and stability for the person in crisis.
3. Truth. Meltdowns cause people to become extremely vulnerable to deception and manipulation. We are engaged in a spiritual war, and we have an enemy that lies and attempts to blind us to the truth. Doubts and questions can form that undermine faith. You may be asked, “Why did God allow this to happen to me?” Don’t argue or try to defend God. I often reply, “I don’t know that I can adequately answer your question, but I do know this: He loves you. He is here. He has sent me to help you get through this time.” Christians are exposed to the same kind of troubles in this world as everyone else, with one major difference: God has not left us alone in our trouble! (See John 14:18.) Read verses from the Bible that assure God’s presence and activity during times of crisis (e.g., Ps. 34:18).
4. Prayer. A.W. Tozer is credited with saying, “Sometimes when we get overwhelmed we forget how big God is.” Prayer is a way of regaining our perspective during a crisis. During a meltdown, all we can see is our problem, but when we pray, that can change! By gently leading overwhelmed people to pray, we put them in touch with the One who is greater than any problem. On that dark night in 2012, what did my friend do that made a difference? He met needs I had for support, stability, truth, and prayer! When I answered his call, I could hear the deep concern in his voice. He listened. He assured me I was going to get through this. He gently pointed me to the Lord and reminded me of His care for me. He prayed with me. Although I would grieve for months to come, my friend’s act of compassion that night on the road helped me get through the initial tsunami of emotions associated with a meltdown.
2. Stability. Most of us live in a world that is “safe” and
For further reading, check out H. Norman Wright’s The Complete Guide to Crisis & Trauma Counseling: What to Do and Say When It Matters Most! (Bethany House, 2011) or What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say (Harvest House, 2014).
that can be understood. During a crisis, an individual’s perception of the world around them can collapse. It is no longer a safe place. The trajectory of life has changed, and the future becomes unclear and uncertain. However, your physical
Don Pucik serves as pastor of the people who are the Wynne Baptist Church in Wynne, Arkansas. Parents of six and grandparents to one, Don and his wife, Gail, have been married for 35 years.
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Plan of Salvation
Leading Someone to Faith ONE OF THE JOYS OF THE CHRISTIAN LIFE is that we never know whom God will put in our paths. Most days are filled with conversations with family members, friends, coworkers, and total strangers. God will often use those conversations and turn them in a spiritual direction. When a conversation turns to matters of salvation, be prepared. As those moments arise, use the following outline as a simple way to present the gospel.
ADMIT. Admit to God that you are a
sinner. Repent, turning away from your sin. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23). “Therefore repent and turn back, so that your sins may be wiped out, that seasons of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19).
BELIEVE. By faith receive Jesus Christ as God’s Son and accept Jesus’ gift of forgiveness from sin. “For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16). “Jesus told him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me’ ” (John 14:6).
CONFESS.
Confess your faith in Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord. “If you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. One believes with the heart, resulting in righteousness, and one confesses with the mouth, resulting in salvation. For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:9-10,13). As the person you are talking to sees the need for Christ, lead him or her to pray a prayer similar to this one: “DEAR GOD, I know I am a sinner and have rebelled against You in many ways. I believe Jesus died for my sin, and only through faith in His death and resurrection can I be forgiven. Please forgive me. As best I know how, I turn from my sin and ask Jesus to come into my life as my Savior and Lord. From this day forward, I choose to follow Jesus. Thank You, Lord, for loving me and forgiving me. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.”
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After the person has received Jesus Christ into his or her life, discuss the importance of making that faith public through baptism. By following Christ’s example, new believers are to be baptized by immersion in a local church as a public expression of faith.
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MY CHURCH “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is, Love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other command greater than these� (Mark 12:30-31).
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Creating a Healthy Culture
Key Insights on Church Roles, Understanding Power, and Healthy Conflict Management
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by MIKE CARLISLE
Over the last 40 years, it has been my privilege to work with and observe hundreds of church leaders and churches. My conclusion is this: If you want God’s best for your church, there are some definite things you can do to make it so. To begin, let’s rethink how we behave as God’s people. Our churches should have an oath, much like the medical
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profession has the Hippocratic Oath. The Hippocratic Oath means “do no harm, maintain confidentiality, and never gossip.” If we can’t hold to those basics behaviors of godly people, we are headed toward unhealthy conflict in our churches. There are three predictable consequences of unhealthy conflict.
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EACON ALAN SIMS came home from a meeting at church. As he opened the front door, his wife, Eileen, noticed he had a sad, troubled look. Eileen said, “Hi, honey, how did the meeting go? Are you OK?” Alan replied, “Why do you ask?” Eileen said, “You just look down. What’s wrong?” Alan paused for a moment, shook his head, and said, “Actually, there was a lively discussion of how the pastor is leading the church. It was clear that people had strong opinions of where the pastor was not meeting their expectations. It seemed there were many ideas about what the pastor should be doing. We didn’t resolve anything, in fact, I’m not even sure what was accomplished. It left many of us feeling divided and opposed to each other.”
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1. People get hurt and leave the church. 2. It produces lifelong wounds for pastors and leaders. 3. The testimony of the church in the community is damaged. Nothing good happens when people hurt one another in the church. On the other hand, when churches are healthy, much good is accomplished. Generations of families are strengthened in their faith. The community is influenced for good and disciples are made. It is world changing. What can a church and her leaders do to seek God’s best?
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Understand the role and calling of the pastor. Pastoring a church is unique. Pastoring is not a career or a job — it is a role. While people may change careers several times in their life, being a pastor is a lifelong calling — not a career. Several conditions are needed for pastors and their families to remain healthy and not be overwhelmed with their role. Several years ago, I worked with doctoral students to survey pastors on the West coast to see if there were things unique about the role of a pastor. Some of my colleagues published a book and included the results of the survey. We were surprised at what we discovered. Personal Loneliness: Usually, there is only one lead or senior pastor in a church. This means the pastor has no peer inside the church. A pastor can rarely share his pain, failures, or depression without others thinking he is no longer qualified as pastor. Personal Isolation: Isolation can lead to secret and destructive habits such as pornography, secret substance abuse, even moral temptations that can erupt into adultery and other sin. So a pastor stuffs his pain and shares with no one. This is dangerous. Social Emptiness: Most pastors have all their primary social relationships in one large concentric circle that includes work, social, spiritual life, hobbies, family life, and more. That large concentric circle mostly includes people inside the church. So when there is disruption in one area, it affects all the social areas of the pastor’s family, life, work, and future.
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Understand the role of power. A healthy place to begin is to understand power. In a simplified sense, there are three kinds of power. Political, positional, and personal. Let’s look deeper. Political Power: We have all seen this kind of power. It uses the influence of a political system to achieve an agenda. Often we see people elected to offices that have a personal agenda. Political power is easily corrupted and rarely creates trust. Positional Power: Jesus made it clear that there are no positional power leaders on his team. He pointed out how it works in the world and then said, “not so with you.” He could not have been clearer about positional power. “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave — just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matt. 20:25-28, NIV). Personal Power: Personal power is relational power. It does not require a title, position, or vote. It simply takes genuine love for others, meaning them no harm — only good. It is living for the sake of others.
Deacons and church leaders can make a huge difference in creating a healthy environment for a church seeking God’s best and avoid burn out of pastors and church leaders.
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Understand the deacon’s role in creating a healthy church. Deacons and church leaders can make a huge difference in creating a healthy environment for a church seeking God’s best and avoid burnout of pastors and church leaders. In the church, the leader’s role should be viewed as a mission rather than a position. A deacon is more of a verb than a noun. In other words, being a deacon is scripturally assisting the pastor in meeting the practical needs of people in the church. Church leadership is about the mission of the church, not a position in an organization.
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As Baptists, we have long valued our autonomy and our independence. Our independence makes creating a best practice environment difficult. In other words, rather than learning how other churches create healthy policies and practices, each church invents its own process, like reinventing the wheel. Denominational agencies often try to provide solutions, but without accountability it has limitations.
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Practice healthy conflict management. Perhaps the most needed skill in the church is for its pastor, deacons, and members to practice healthy conflict management. Here is a simple starting point. Disagreements about issues are not wrong and can be very helpful in good decisions. When dealing with issues, draw a line in the sand. You and your leadership team are on one side of the line and the issue, or problem, is on the other side. Together, you discuss solutions to the problem — not making each other the problem. This is good conflict management that prevents letting good things take the place of the best things, like making disciples. Go, church!
Mike Carlisle is the director of missions of the San Diego Southern Baptist Association.
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Healthy Pastors Leading Healthy Churches
Where can ministry couples get help? by MARK DANCE
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Pastor Care Line 1-844-4PASTOR (1-844-472-7867)
Consider this a “911” number for pastors and their spouses who are in crisis. LifeWay and the North American Mission Board both financially support this Focus on the Family care line, which is free and confidential. I personally know these counselors and have seen and heard them work in Colorado Springs. They are available from 6 a.m.-8 p.m. (MT).
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Ministry Marriage Retreats I found several marriage retreats, but only a few that focus exclusively on ministry couples. My wife and I have attended and served at several of these marriage retreats, so we are recommending them from firsthand experience.
• Galatians 6:6 Retreats (greatcommandment.net) Dr. David Ferguson and his family have been hosting these gifted retreats for about 30 years and have served 12,000 ministry couples. You will greatly enjoy investing in this time of marriage renewal. • Christian Hospitality Network (thechn.org). Paul Cowell created this network of discounted lodging for missionaries and pastors (25-50 percent discounts). His family built the Whitestone Inn near Knoxville, Tennessee, which invites missionaries to stay for free and ministers to stay for half price!
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EALTHY PASTORS LEAD healthy churches. If your pastor or church staff member is overwhelmed, make sure they know about these sources of help and encouragement.
• Timothy + Barnabas Conference (timothybarnabas.org). Johnny and Janet Hunt have blessed over 8,000 ministry couples with instruction and encouragement for the past 20 years. There are several regional retreat options to choose from in resort locations, which are made affordable by corporate sponsors like LifeWay. • Weekend to Remember (familylifeministries.org). Janet and I attended this Family Life couple’s retreat 20 years ago and sent several groups from our church. When you register, ask about the pastor scholarship. familylifeministries.org/weekend-to-remember/pastors/
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Ministry Marriage Intensives Some ministry marriages need more than a retreat because they are in serious trouble. These intensives have saved a lot of marriages and ministries, but they are not quick, easy, or cheap. Here are four places where pastors can fight for their marriages:
• National Institute for Marriage (nationalmarriage.com). Therapist-led, intensive counseling for couples and for whole families. (Focus on the Family)
4 Steps to a Successful Sabbatical I AM CONVINCED MORE PASTORS would experience a longer and healthier ministry if they consistently practiced a weekly Sabbath (see page 16) and periodically took a sabbatical. These steps are directed to a pastor, but I would like for you as a deacon to investigate, encourage, and champion the process.
Step 1 Walk Slowly Through the Process. Start by finding an advocate to champion your project. Be careful to make sure you understand and respect the right channels of approval. If your church already has a sabbatical process, then do your homework and follow that process respectfully.
Step 2
• SonScape Retreats (sonscaperetreats.org). Hosts both marriage retreats and marriage intensives in Colorado Springs. They are resourced primarily by the Mardel family.
Clarify the General Purpose. What is the win for you and your church? Is there a book or ministry initiative you need to do some off-site research on? If your sabbatical is a response to ministry burnout, tell them how you plan on getting healthier spiritually, physically, and emotionally.
• WinShape Retreats (winshape.org). Hosts both marriage retreats and intensives in Rome, Georgia. They are resourced primarily by the Cathy family. (Chick-fil-A)
Step 3
• City of Refuge (fbcw.org). Founded by Johnny Hunt and First Woodstock, Georgia, this ministry provides critical care for wounded and fallen ministers, giving them a safe and loving environment in which to rest and heal. The City of Refuge is a long-term residential program that attempts to meet the needs of the minister and his family by providing housing, child care, counseling, and small group support at no cost to the family. • Standing Stone Ministry (standingstoneministry.org). This ministry of Family Life offers some intensive weeks one-on-one for pastoral couples as well as ongoing mentors and confidants for pastors. Mark Dance is the director of LifeWay pastors, which seeks to help pastors win at home and church.
Articulate Your Specific Goals. Communicate your specific goals during the application process, then afterward come back and share how you achieved those goals. Much of what happens on a sabbatical is not goal-oriented or measurable, so do your best to explain what is. For my first sabbatical, I interviewed 12 pastors about church growth and relocations because our church was experiencing both. For my second sabbatical, I spent weekdays in remote Arkansas cabins reading, resting, and writing a sermon series/book on the Sabbath, which I preached soon afterward.
Step 4 Express Genuine Appreciation. Sabbaticals are not a given, they are a gift. Guard your heart from any feelings of entitlement. An ungrateful disposition will not only kill the deal for you but also for those who serve alongside or behind you.
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Deacons: Leaders in Congregational Singing by CRAIG WEBB
S I PREPARED for this interview, I listened to Keith and Kristyn Getty’s Audiobook version of Sing! How Worship Transforms Your Life, Family, and Church. I encourage you to read Ben’s review of the book at the end of this issue. (See page 49.) I also had a chance to attend their “Sing!” conference in Nashville. The book and the conference not only informed and challenged me, it also deeply refreshed my heart as a worshiper. Both the book and the conference reminded me how much I treasure congregational singing and how much my heart is refreshed by enthusiastically participating in it. It brought to mind how this has been the case throughout my ministry.
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When my wife, Barbara, and I went in view of a call to become pastor of a church on the west side of Maui, Hawaii, in 1994, we were subjected to a nine-day interview (please don’t do that to your prospective pastor). At the end of the week, we were overwhelmed by the church members’ needs and the impending isolation from our family. We found ourselves distraught and discouraged on a Saturday night before the Sunday services looking for a way to explain to the search committee that the church had wasted a ton of money bringing us to Hawaii for the interview. Neither of us slept well that night. The next morning, during the worship service, the open-air worship center was filled with powerful, unified, multicultural voices singing praise to God
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An Interview with Keith Getty
“The one thing we have learned above all others as we have traveled with our music these last 10 years is this: Good congregational singing begins with the pastoral leadership.” —Keith and Kristyn Getty, Sing! (B&H Publishing, 2017) — and we both knew God could work in and through this congregation and He would equip us to serve them well. We had an amazing nine years of ministry at that wonderful church and looked forward to every Sunday. When I called to interview Keith Getty, I wanted to hear his heart about the role of deacons as leaders in congregational singing. I wasn’t disappointed. CRAIG: What would you say to deacons about encouraging the church family to sing? KEITH: That’s a subject I love to speak about. As we’ve traveled for 10 years with our music, the first thing I’ve observed, is that powerful congregational singing is obviously the result of people who have been made alive by Christ. It’s not about flashy musicians or education. It’s not even about style or preference. We sing because we are compelled to sing by the gospel of Jesus Christ. The same is true for any church leader. That’s the primary thing. A deacon or anyone in the church can’t be a leader in this area unless they’ve been transformed by Christ. Second, we are commanded to sing. Every deacon should sing wholeheartedly regardless of his skill. God has sovereignly made some people with greater skill for music, but He has commanded every believer to sing. The third encouragement I would give to deacons is that their singing should start at home. Commit to being a servant leader in your home by singing, listening to, and leading your family to sing strong, Word-filled songs. The Puritans would not let men take communion if they were not leading their families in family devotion, prayer, and singing. I am not suggesting a return to that practice! However, we should learn from the intentionality they placed on family singing. CRAIG: What would you say to deacons about the role of the senior pastor in congregational singing? KEITH: It’s of primary importance. As we’ve traveled with our music and worshiped with countless congregations, I have come to conclude that the biggest influence on congregational singing is the senior pastor. When we’ve observed poor participation in congregational singing, we’ve noticed that the pastor is disengaged. When the senior pastor is preaching and teaching about the importance of congregational singing as well as modeling it, the church will follow. This is of more importance than the skill of your musicians or the preference or style of the music. In our book, Sing!, we include practical suggestions for persons in different roles in the church
including a 10-point checklist for pastoral leaders. (See sidebar.) Encourage your pastor to consider them. After reading the book, attending the conference, and interviewing Keith, here are four challenges for you as a servant leader and servant model in your congregation. 1. As a servant leader in your church, commit to singing enthusiastically during your church’s worship services regardless of your skill as a singer or your feelings about the style of music. 2. Lead the members of your household to sing strong, Word-filled songs. 3. Encourage and challenge your fellow deacons to be servant leaders in their own congregational singing and in their households. 4. Encourage your pastor to consider the Getty’s checklist for pastoral leaders. (See sidebar.)
A Checklist for Pastoral Leaders In the back of their new book, Sing! How Worship Transforms Your Life, Family, and Church, Keith and Kristyn Getty include what they call, “bonus tracks.” These are practical ideas for persons in specific roles. The first “bonus track” is for pastors and elders. Here’s a congregational singing 10-point checklist for pastoral leaders excerpted by permission:
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1. Does my congregation know why they sing? 2. Is our church singing strong songs? 3. Am I part of the weekly song selection process? 4. Am I overseeing the overall selection or “canon” of songs? 5. Am I passionately involved in the singing? 6. Am I leading, encouraging, teaching, and building strong relationships with all the musicians? 7. Do I regularly encourage the congregation in their singing? 8. Am I encouraging the congregation to prepare for Sunday services? 9. Am I planning the service order in a sensitive and creative way? 10. Am I overseeing the development of singing in congregational life?
Further explanations of each of these points can be found on pages 105-112 of Sing! How Worship Transforms Your Life, Family, and Church by Keith and Kristyn Getty. Learn more at gettymusic.com.
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Soundbites
OVERWHELMED
Our heart is restless until it rests in You. —Augustine of Hippo, The Confessions of Saint Augustine
In 2016, 662 million vacation days were left unused by American workers, including 206 million days that cannot be rolled over or paid out. With those forfeited days, American workers gave up $66.4 billion in benefits. Source: Projecttimeoff.com
5 Common Reasons Church Members Burn out 1. The church does not have clear purpose or vision. 2. The church has certain activities because “we’ve always done it that way before.” 3. Too few members doing most of the ministry. 4. The church does not celebrate enough. 5. The church has no clear expectations of membership. — Thom S. Rainer, thomrainer.com
In most roles, overwork feels sinful and neglectful. In ministry, overwork can wrongly feel holy. Ministry can attract workaholics and give them a reason to justify their addiction. — Eric Geiger, ericgeiger.com
Persons experiencing sleep insufficiency are more likely to suffer from chronic diseases such as hypertension, diabetes, depression, and obesity, as well as from cancer, increased mortality, and reduced quality of life and productivity. Source: cdc.gov
12%
40%
Source: lifewayresearch.com
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19% 19% 25%
5 Ways to Keep Leaders from Burnout 1. Build breaks into the schedule. 2. Provide solid curriculum choices. 3. Train leaders to share the work. 4. Allow leaders to step away. 5. Model a healthy balance. — Chris Surratt, lifeway.com/leadership
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Why Did Former Pastors Leave the Ministry? ● Change in calling ● Conflict in a church ● Burnout ● Personal finances ● Family issues ● Poor fit with a church
Future Worship
Overwhelmed
You don’t have to do this alone. by DAN GARLAND
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VERWHELMED — to be submerged under the weight of something; to be overtaken by a superior force or to be overpowered by your thoughts and feelings. Many of us have felt overpowered and overwhelmed by all the stuff going on in life. We can be overwhelmed by any number of things. Some of us are overwhelmed with the drama that surrounds our lives. We have so much going on at work, so much going on at home, and so much on our plates that we literally feel submerged under the weight of it.
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Overwhelmed
But being overwhelmed doesn’t just happen. There are on-ramps to this destination and one ramp for me was church growth. In 1982, I became the pastor of Zion Baptist Church, Henderson, Kentucky. Zion is a rural community five miles east of Henderson, surrounded by farmland. The church, founded in 1853, had a rich history in the community. The search team shared with me the vision of the church was to reach younger families. I was 31, and my wife and I had an 18-month-old daughter, so they thought my age and family fit what they wanted in a pastor. The first few months set the tone for the next several years. We began an aggressive outreach and evangelism program. We worked on strengthening the Sunday morning Bible Study for all ages. The result was that the church was growing and reaching young families. Things were good, I was good. In 1984, growth in Bible Study necessitated we add educational and office space. This would be the first of five building projects over the next 12 years. At first, it was exciting and energizing. The church was growing and adding fulltime staff and ministries.
Part of my challenge was that I had not been equipped to manage staff or hand off ministry responsibilities. I continued to try to be at every meeting, involved in every decision, and know everything that was going on in the church. Added to all this was my educational pursuit of a Doctor of Ministry from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. In the midst of trying to learn how to lead a growing church and staff, I was feverishly working on completing this degree, which I did in May 1986. This was the best educational experience of my life and very helpful in gaining practical skills in ministry. However, it added to the load of feeling overwhelmed. The church continued to grow over the next several years to the point that additional space was needed for worship and Bible Study. In 1990, the church voted to build an 800-seat worship center and additional education space. This would be the largest undertaking of my ministry and in the life of the church. The project went well, being completed on time and under budget. But at the end of the project
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The Holy Spirit spoke this truth, “You don’t have to do this alone. I am with you, and so are others. You need to ask for help and learn how to live one day at a time trusting Me for your strength and hope.”
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in the fall of 1991, I was exhausted. Things were going well, the church was growing, and I had surrounded myself with competent staff, but I had set no boundaries for access to me and no limits on my pace. I began to have anxiety attacks that I masked and tried to deny. My wife decided we needed to get away for a few days. She arranged with the chairman of deacons for someone to cover Wednesday night prayer meeting, and we headed west to Branson, Missouri, for rest and renewal. After three days of relaxing, laughing, and enjoying each other, we headed home. About an hour from home, the anxiety began to return. My wife was sleeping, and I was driving and just confessed to the Lord, “I can’t do this anymore. I am overwhelmed by ministry and trying to manage staff. Please help me, Lord.” It wasn’t an audible voice, it was louder than that. The Holy Spirit spoke this truth that has changed my life since 1991. “You don’t have to do this alone. I am with you, and so are others. You need to ask for help and learn how to live one day at a time trusting Me for your strength and hope.” There was a calmness and peace that came over me that has sustained me these many years. Whenever the anxiety returns, I return to those words the Lord spoke into my heart, “Learn to trust Me one day at a time.” But that is only part of the story of how I learned to cope with being overwhelmed. The Sunday night after the Lord spoke truth into my life, I met with the deacons of the church. I shared with them my feelings of anxiety and
being overwhelmed. To my amazement, they knew I was stressed and trying to do too much. They agreed to help me set boundaries and put limits on my work. We established a deacon advisory council that would meet with me every month and hold me accountable in several areas: family time, study time, equipping others, pastoral care time (counseling, hospital visits, weddings, and funerals), administrative time (meeting with staff and church leaders), and recreation time. Each month, we would walk down the list and discuss how I was doing in managing these areas. We found ways the deacons, staff, and other leaders could serve and equip others to do the work of ministry. The deacon advisory council became great allies and ministers to me, servants to others, and equipers of leaders. Ephesians 4:11-13 became the basis of my ministry. Rather than believing I was to do all the ministry, attend all the meetings, make every hospital visit, and so forth, I began equipping the saints to do the work of ministry. That made all the difference. There were still times I felt overwhelmed, but knowing I was not alone in ministry, and knowing the deacons were partners in ministry encouraged me to continue to do ministry alongside others one day at time. Dan Garland has served as a pastor and as an interim pastor in churches in Kentucky and is the currently the director of church partnerships for LifeWay Christian Resources. He and his wife live in Hendersonville, Tennessee.
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Deacons Meetings
June Devotion Is That Wedding Music? “Deacons are to be husbands of one wife, managing their children and their own households competently” (1 Tim. 3:12).
H Note: Some items require prior preparation by the person who leads the meeting, such as enlisting others for specific assignments. Good preparation will increase effectiveness and generate greater interest.
AVE YOU HEARD ANY wedding music yet this month? If not, there is a good chance you will. Traditionally, June is the most popular month for weddings. The tradition can be traced to Roman mythology. The month was named after the Roman goddess Juno, the goddess of marriage, and the wife of the supreme Roman deity Jupiter. However, the tradition continued even into Victorian times, primarily because fresh flowers were available for weddings throughout the month. Of course, in our contemporary society, weddings take place every month of the year. In 1 Timothy 3, Paul spelled out qualifications for those who would serve as deacons. Opinions vary on whether he meant deacons were required to be married. What is clear, however, is that deacons who were married were expected to live exemplary lives in the marriage relationship. They were to manage their households well. “It is a safe assumption that one who manages his home haphazardly, whether he is a heavy-handed tyrant and slow to listen or simply irresponsible and unconcerned for his family, is likely to leave a similar stamp on the church.”1 Thus, the marriage relationship and the home served as a practical lab for developing leaders who would serve the church well. This is no less true in our day. Many deacons consider their wives to be their partners in ministry. Deacon ministry certainly is strengthened by deacons having wives who support what they are doing, pray for them, and even join them in the work where appropriate. Paul alluded to such support in verse 11, in which he outlined some expectations for deacon wives. “Wives, too, must be worthy of respect, not slanderers, self-controlled, faithful in everything.” Obviously, the month you and your wife first heard your wedding music doesn’t really matter. More than the month is the depth of commitment first expressed in that moment and that continues to grow. Thank the Lord for your wife. And thank her as well for her encouragement in ministry. Philip H. Towner, 1-2 Timothy & Titus, in The IVP New Testament Commentary Series, vol. 14 (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1994), 92.
• Call on a deacon to lead this devotional from 1 Timothy 3:12. Pray, thanking God for the blessing of wives who encourage their deacon husbands in ministry. • Discuss the value and potential of a deacon and deacon wives retreat. • Select an article from this month’s issue of Deacon Magazine that speaks to a particular need in your church or deacon body. Enlist someone to lead a discussion of the article and its relevance. • Provide time for the pastor to give his perspective on how the wives of deacons can provide support and encouragement to their deacon husbands. • Review and discuss other agenda items, and listen to reports to be presented. • Close with prayer.
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Deacons Meetings
July Devotion Rest, Relaxation, Restoration “He said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a remote place and rest for a while’” (Mark 6:31).
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• Guide a discussion based on the article “Enjoy the Gift of Sabbath” (p. 16) by Mark Dance. Consider how it applies to the idea of taking time for rest, relaxation, and restoration to increase effectiveness in deacon ministry. • Ask the pastor to share things that are on his heart concerning deacon ministry or strengthening ministry to the congregation. • Review and discuss other agenda items, and listen to reports. • Close with prayer that each deacon will take action to draw closer to the Lord to be refreshed by Him.
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Note: Some items require prior preparation by the person who leads the meeting, such as enlisting others for specific assignments. Good preparation will increase effectiveness and generate greater interest.
CCORDING TO SOME STUDIES, July is the most popular vacation month of the year. One poll affirmed the most important thing Americans want to do while on vacation is — nothing. This does not mean they prefer to stay at home — a so-called “staycation.” Over 90 percent still prefer to go away for a change of scenery where they can “unplug” from the routines of life. Yet, many admit they still stay connected to home and work through social media. Even so, the change of pace still becomes a season of rest, relaxation, and restoration — physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. God built a need and desire for rest into the fabric of the created order. He modeled the concept when “he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done” (Gen. 2:2). Of course, this doesn’t mean God took a vacation; He didn’t stop being God for a day. But by inserting rest into the creation story, we are reminded that rest is as much of an expectation of God as is faithful, diligent work. Jesus also found time to rest, sometimes in the back of a boat during a storm or at a community well while His disciples went into town for food. And as in the case described in Mark 6:31, in busy times of ministry, He created opportunities for His disciples to rest. He took them to an out-ofthe-way place where they could relax and might even enjoy a good, uninterrupted meal — a vital part of every good vacation! As someone once said, “He knew if they did not come apart, they would eventually fall apart.” Some people boast of never taking a vacation or not taking time off. However, even if you don’t take an exotic trip, find some time and some way to rest, relax, and be restored in body, mind, soul, and spirit. You will become stronger by it, ready to face the demands and challenges that are sure to come.
• Call on a deacon to lead this devotional from Mark 6:31. Pray the meeting will be productive and ministry focused.
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Deacons Meetings
August Let’s Celebrate! “You are to celebrate the Festival of Shelters for seven days when you have gathered in everything from your threshing floor and winepress. Rejoice during your festival — you, your son and daughter, your male and female slave, as well as the Levite, the resident alien, the fatherless, and the widows within your city gates” (Deut. 16:13-14).
I Note: Some items require prior preparation by the person who leads the meeting, such as enlisting others for specific assignments. Good preparation will increase effectiveness and generate greater interest.
N MANY REGIONS of the country, August is county fair month. Initially, county fairs provided a venue for acknowledging and rewarding the hard work and skill of the producers of the region’s agricultural products. Of course, fairs have changed in many ways. Nevertheless, fair-goers still enjoy such varied events as cattle judging, pig racing, pie baking contests, and concerts by local and nationally known musicians. Fairs continue to provide a fun, memorable way to become acquainted with an area’s culture, reflect on its history, and anticipate the future. They are a great time of celebration. Actually, the act of celebrating has long been an important part of life, especially for God’s people. The Lord encouraged His people to celebrate the good things of their lives, all that He had done for them, and all He would accomplish through them. Instructions for feasts, festivals, or celebrations are provided in detail in Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. The key verse for this devotion comes from the instructions for celebrating the Festival of Shelters. This celebration specifically reminded the residents of Israel — no matter who they were — of God’s provision during the fragile period of their wandering in the wilderness, provided an opportunity to rejoice over God’s goodness to them in the land they now occupied, and encouraged them to anticipate the joy of blessings yet to come. God’s people still need to celebrate — and God wants them to. Perhaps no group is in a position to lead the celebration more than deacons. As deacons, you have an excellent perspective on what is taking place in the life of your church. Therefore, recall and recite to the congregation and community alike the good things God has done and is doing. Celebrate and rejoice!
Devotions and meeting helps are by Ron Brown. Ron is retired from LifeWay. He is a writer for Herschel Hobbs Commentary and a member of Pleasant Heights Baptist Church, Columbia, Tennessee. He is husband to Connie, father of two adult children, and granddaddy to four grandchildren.
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SERVANT LEADERS IN THE CHURCH
• Call on a deacon to lead this devotional from Deuteronomy 16:13-14. Praise the Lord for His blessing on the church. • Call attention to Craig Webb’s interview with Keith Getty about congregational singing (p. 40). Summarize key points gleaned from the article. Discuss how your worship services contribute to an atmosphere, attitude, and practice of celebratory worship. • Call on the pastor to share whatever is on his heart and mind for which he seeks deacon support. Ask him to identify what he seeks to celebrate. • Review and discuss other agenda item, and listen to reports. • Close with prayer making a renewed commitment to lift up Jesus in all you do so the church will see that He is the One who matters.
VEER / CORBIS
Devotion
Toolbox
Book Review by ben reed
Sing!
I
by Keith and Kristyn Getty (B&H Publishing, 2017)
REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I sang, “In Christ Alone.” When we got to the line, “Then bursting forth, in glorious day, up from the grave he rose again!” I wanted to stand on top of my chair and scream. Actually, I think I may have. There was something inside me bubbling to the surface, ready to make its way out. But you know what I also noticed? I wasn’t the only one. Something inside the whole room was bubbling. As each of our individual voices rose louder, the energy of the room continued to grow. Before the end of the song, there wasn’t a quiet voice in the whole place. I remember thinking, What. Just. Happened? There was a deep sense of excitement for what God was doing, and an overwhelming feeling of unity throughout the
room. Growing up in a church where few people sang out loud, I found a renewed passion and hope for the gospel and Jesus’ church. The song referenced above, “In Christ Alone,” put Keith and Kristyn Getty in local churches around the world. And now they’ve written a book about the power of congregational singing. They quip, “We are all singers. We may not all be very good singers, but we are all created to be singers, nonetheless.” Yep, that’s me. I just raised my hand as I read that. But the Gettys don’t stop with an exhortation to individuals singing. They write at length about the value of singing within a family, which resonates deeply with me, having two children of my own. “Songs help us train children in the ‘language’ of the Christian faith.” They also speak of the value and biblical command of congregational singing. “When we sing, we witness to the people in our church who are yet to believe.” Our churches have a chance to be an incredible witness of unity to our community, and we a people of hope, when we raise our voices together. The Gettys share multiple stories of times throughout history when revival burst forth, characterized by groups of people singing together. How amazing would it be if each and every week our congregations sounded like what heaven’s going to sound like for eternity? What if revival broke out in your community? Whether you read this individually, or as a group, or you dig through the content together with your worship leaders, this is a powerful little book. Buy a few extra copies and give them away. You may “hear” the difference this coming weekend!
Ben Reed is the author of Starting Small: The Ultimate Small Group Blueprint. He is the adult ministries pastor at Mission Community Church in Gilbert, Arizona. He’s an avid fan of coffee and CrossFit.
SUMMER 2018
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And Another Thing …
OVERWHELMED
“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” ISTOCKPHOTO
Matthew 11:28
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SERVANT LEADERS IN THE CHURCH
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