BID
Bi-Monthly Magazine For Lesbian And Bisexual Women Issue 12 FREE
BEHAVIOUR . IDENTITY . DESIRE
Contributors Elly Badcock works in a call centre and pretends to be a writer, spending her spare time attempting to reverse this description. Her interests include class politics, Jarvis Cocker and science fiction. A socialist, feminist and long-time activist, Elly specialises in feature-lenth polemics and the overuse of adjectives.
Lynsey Calderwood is a Scottish fiction writer. She’s had several short stories published in literary magazines and anthologies including Nerve, Nomad, Mslexia, The Edinburgh Review and the Scotsman+Orange 2006. She is currently working on a novel.
Sophie Cohen is a19 year old English Language and Media Student at University of Brighton. She regularly contributes to B.I.D Zine writing about fashion. Likes: Rubiks Cube and Tartan Dislikes: Mushrooms and Arrogance
Lotte Murphy-Johnson is a 21 year old writer and TV researcher. She spends her week working for a TV production company and her weekend frantically putting together the B.I.D zine with her girlfriend Holly. Likes: chicken curry, baked alaska, Amanda Palmer Dislikes: Corriander, chewing gum, self-obsessed people
Melissa Martinez is a hopeless romantic and incurable insomniac. She goes weak at the knees for vintage black and white photos, tiramisu and pistachio gelato. She wanted to be a Bond Girl and airforce helicopter pilot but discovered Hitchcock films and that she didn’t have 20/20 vision. One day, she hopes to be as good as Annie Leibovitz behind the lens and finish writing her ‘Brokeback Mountain’ with two female indie leads.
Holly is a 23 year old trainee Montessori teacher who lives in London. Her passions in life are tattoos, women and computers. Shes loves music and in her dreams she’s a punk rock front-woman like Brody Dalle, in reality she is trying to learn the ukelele and can just about play Hot Cross Buns. Holly is an avid photographer and rarely ventures far without a camera. She launched B.I.D zine with her girlfriend Lotte and she enjoys being her own boss.
Contents Page
Lili Murphy-Johnson
WHAT HAPPENS AFTER THE U-HAUL Onomé
Okwuosa gives B.I.D readers some advice on how to survive those first few months living together!
NOTHING TO HIDE? What’s happening to privacy
in our internet-hungry society?
THE RULES OF THEMES Sophie Cohen gives you
a run down of the most popular themes outfits this year.
FLORALS One fashion trend that just keeps coming around. Sophie Cohen tells B.I.D why this is one style is not something she’ll be copying any time soon.
PRESSURE A new short story by author Lynsey
Calderwood
NEWSFLASH A run-down of the week’s most interesting LGBT stories NAKIAMI Special guest writer Piotr Marszalek lets us know it’s not all doom and gloom for women in Anime. BETWEEN WOMEN Onomé Okwuosa reviews new
US Lesbian drama Between Women. If you’re missing The L Word and are too impatient for the next series of Lip Service, this is definitley one to check out!
NEWSFLASH
37,000 PEOPLE HAVE SIGNED A PETITION TO THANK STARBUCKS FOR EQUAL MARRIAGE SUPPORT. The petition says Starbucks is being targeted because the company recently stood up publicly to support gay marriage legislation in their home state of Washington in the United States. When it passed, the bill’s lead sponsor said that support from the business convinced moderate legislators to vote for it. Lets hope this causes other big businesses to take similar action.
THIS WEEK SEES THE RETURN OF THE BFI LGBT FILM FESTIVAL in London. This year highlights include Cloudburst (pictured), Yes, or No?, and Hit So Hard. The lgbt film festival is one of those rare occasions where you get to see those indie lgbt films on the big screan, so don’t forget to take advantage! Make sure you book soon though because tickets are selling out fast!
ACTRESS GILLIAN ANDERSON, WHO FOUND WORLDWIDE FAME when she in the 90’s sci-fi show The X Files has revealed that she has had relationships with women in the past but that they were “the exception, not the rule”. The 43 year old actress told Out magazine that she began experimenting with women when her family relocated from London to Michigan. Gillian says that she was in a relationship with a girl “for a long time” while she was in high school but she wasn’t 100% gay and she realised that she also liked guys. Anderson has been married twice and has three children, two with her current partner Mark Griffiths. Gillian’s portrayal of the sceptical and enigmatic FBI agent Dana Scully in The X Files won her a legion of fans and the actress has a considerable lesbain following. Having said in previous interviews that she was something of a rebel at high school her experimentation with women hasn’t come as much of a surprise. But the woman who was voted sexiest in the world in 1996 revealing that she is bisexual will no doubt please her many lesbian and bisexual fans. REUBEN LACK, AN 18 YEAR OLD HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT FROM ATLANTA has filed a federal lawsuit against his school, claiming that the administrators removed him as student body president, after he proposed to make the prom more inclusive to LGBT students. The Alpharetta High Schhol student has asked asked the US District Court to issue an injunction to reinstate him in his former position.
THE BIG PICTURE
Lady Gaga has been honoured at the annual Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) media awards.
CAN TWO WOMEN PLUS ONE U-HAUL EQUAL A HAPPY HOME?
Onomé Okwuosa looks at what happens after the U-Haul and what you can do to minimise the damage of those first few months together Many a comment has been passed on the speed at which lesbians relationships tend to develop, after a few blinks it seems they’re talking about moving in together, before you know it, bags have been packed, unpacked and a home has been created. The question on everyone’s lips however is: will it be a happy home? Prior to moving in with one another things were nicely separate, you could hide your spendthrift ways, were oblivious to just how much of a slob your other half was and of course could wave at the inlaws from a safe distance. Three months and three weeks later and you’re gearing up for round four of the battle with the period monster, should you even bother when you know full well you’re both going to lose? How on earth is one household supposed to cope with two hormonal beasts butting heads and roaring at one another simultaneously? Gone are the days when that time of the month rolled around and it was acceptable to go into hibernation for the worst few days, saving your other half from having their spinal cord ripped out and handed to them if they dared ask for help with the chores or perhaps breathed in the wrong fashion! Yes your’e both wrong and yes you’re both right, a couple pounds of chocolate as well as a few buckets of chicken wings and the monthly menstrual mayhem can be kept to a minimum. Lesson learnt; feed the monster, never ever EVER try and fight it! Then of course theres the little matter of money, when Yahoo surveyed 2000 men and women they found that over 25% argued more about money than they did about chores and the kiddies. When yours becomes ours, suddenly takeout every night loses its appeal as one half of the couple starts doing the sums and realises that she’d much rather spend the annual £5k on a luxury holiday, upgrading the car, or dare she not-so-subtly suggest it for the gazillionth time a wedding dress? Splitting up the finances is no easy task but as long as you’re both moving in the same direction and are still wanting the same future; taking the time out to go over the facts and the figures with a compromising eye should go a long way to resolving the matter. A little minute has passed since you’ve moved in together and you’ve probably come to realise that you need to listen with more than just your ears, you’ve got to use your heart, your gut and of course your spidey-senses! Sometimes it’s got NOTHING to do with money, interfering family members, chores being left undone or whatever it is that you seem to be bickering about but some other underlying issue. Keeping in mind the age old saying ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’ and that this is your person means being prepared to roll up your sleeves and muddle through the matter with them, knowing you’d want and expect them to do the same for you.
IG R B
N O T H
BY HOLLY RICHARDSON
NOTHING TO HIDE? HOLLY RICHARDSON CONSIDERS PRIVACY IN AN INTERNET AND INFORMAtION HUNGRY WORLD.
I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT when it comes to privacy in this age of targeted Facebook ads and employers Googling you before an interview , attempting to limit the amount of private information which is freely available on the net is quite important to me. Of course I have a Facebook page and a Twitter account but my usernames are not my real names and my surname is nowhere to be seen. I like sharing information and pictures but I like to know and be in charge of who can see them. In the Big Brother style world we now live in you never know who is watching. People often think that they can make themselves untraceable on the internet, they think that being truly anonymous is possible, but just scan the recent headlines and you’ll see the arrests of people whose tweets incited the London riots last year and internet trolls who have posted sick messages about Fabrice Muamba on message boards. The powers above can usually track you down, no matter how many precautions you take. I run an LGBT blog and magazine, my name is associated with all things BID and it’s fairly easy to find out that I am a 23 year old lesbian woman who lives in London in just a few seconds if you have access to the internet. If I did want to hide my sexuality from an employer it would be pretty difficult; I would have to change my CV, lie about what I do in my spare time and somehow remove all associations between BID and myself. Luckily I am out and proud and I have the attitude that if my sexuality is a problem for an employer then I don’t want to work for them. Just a few months ago I had a phone interview for a start-up company who wanted to hire someone to write press releases and do other advertising for them. The male interviewer said that my CV was impressive and that my location and availability suited them perfectly. He also wanted to know more about the blog that my CV said I ran and the magazines that I wrote for. So while I was still on the line he brought up BID’s blog and had a look. Cue a really awkward and seemingly endless silence that in reality was probably about 15 seconds long. The interviewer then asked whether he could ask a personal question and I thought ok, here it goes... “Are you gay?” was predictably the next thing I heard. I said that yes I was and although I detected a hint of discomfort he said that there was a lot of articles and that he’d like to go away and read and that he’d get back to me by the end of the week. I never got a call. It might be that my sexuality had absolutely nothing to do with me not getting the job, but it quite easily could have.
People stay in the closet for a variety of reasons and it is everyone’s prerogative to not disclose their sexuality if they choose not to. On job application forms the equal opportunities section is usually optional and even when it it’s compulsory there is always the ‘Prefer not to disclose’ option when it comes to sexual orientation. However I have recently discovered that in some situations it’s very difficult to maintain any privacy about your private life. I was claiming Jobseekers Allowance when I first moved down to London last year and as anyone who has dealt with Jobcentre Plus will know there are a ridiculous number of forms to fill out. I don’t like people I don’t know knowing all about my private life and I tried to tell them as little as was possible. My living arrangement was creating major processing problems for them. I wasn’t married, civilpartnered or widowed. I had a girlfriend yes but my claim for jobseekers allowance was for me, as an individual, to support my search for work and when I originally made my claim I considered myself to be single. I was staying in my girlfriend’s family home, with her entire family, so obviously we weren’t ‘living as a married couple’ either because that is impossible when you are a guest in somebody else’s home. It was no different to the many times that I have stayed at the houses of family friends for extended periods of time. Telling them how many rooms the house had and whether I paid any rent wasn’t enough for them. I was called in for an interview which was effectively a woman I had never met asking me a series of extremely personal questions and trying to wrangle extra information from me about my lifestyle. I didn’t appreciate her questions about who I socialised with, what I did in my spare time and whether I was planning to propose to anyone. They even asked me who I normally ate my dinner with, what food I regularly bought, who did my laundry and how I thought my friends perceived my relationship. It seems it is impossible to stay temporarily in a house without declaring your exact interactions towards every single in-
dividual who lives there. I respect that they needed to know where and with whom I was living but I’m fairly sure that the first pile of forms I completed explained the situation sufficiently. The entire interview was really uncomfortable and unnecessary. There has to be a limit to the amount of very private information that people can be forced to disclose and which then goes on file. If for example someone chooses to identify as single and maybe doesn’t consider themselves to be in an exclusive relationship that person should have the right not to have to explain the ins and outs of their personal lives. If you are unemployed, looking for work and identify as single you are eligible for Jobseeker’s Allowance, no matter who you live with. It got me thinking, I didn’t rush to state my sexuality at first because I didn’t think it was necessary to the situation, but what about people who are in same-sex relationships and can’t be open about it? Some people are in homosexual relationships but for all kinds of different reasons they can’t even tell their closest friends or family members, is it not unfair for organisations to try very hard to force such information out of someone? If you do have a girlfriend or a boyfriend you have to give a great deal of their personal information as well as your own. If your relationship is in its first stages it’s unlikely you’re going to class the other person as your partner and put it all down on paper. The problem is that their categories are too black and white and not everyone fits into them. People are forced to choose an option even when it isn’t accurate for their situation they’re in and then they have to explain in detail why there are anomalies. Lots of people have casual relationships, lots have casual sex with their housemates or friends, people often have very complex relationships with those around them which are difficult to explain. Try as you may to keep private facts under wraps but sometimes it’s almost impossible. Sensitivity with regards to certain areas of people’s lives should be practised, not everyone is lucky enough to be open about their sexuality and that should be kept in mind.
THE RULES OF:
Themes
Sophie Cohen GUIDES YOU THROUGH THIS SPRING’S POPULAR THEMES.
SOMETIMES IT IS DIFFICULT TO PULL off themed outfits without looking ridiculously cliché or like you are going to a fancy dress party – the trick is to not go overboard and to not overload your outfit with everything you can possibly find that remotely relates to your chosen theme. I have carefully selected three of the most popular themes found in high street fashion this year and picked out a selection of my favourite themed fashion bargains from some of the top high street stores. NAUTICAL THEME Navy and white are definitely your best bet for a true nautical theme. This simple playsuit from River Island has just enough stripes to set sail and make my nautical pick. An anchor charm ear cuff really sets off this summery outfit and with ear cuffs being all the rage right now they are easy to find; high street and online stores are stocking plenty of different styles and colours. Espadrilles were last summer’s must haves, and if the weather is planning on being anywhere near as nice as it was last July I will certainly be getting myself a few more pairs. I chose a bright yellow bag to offset the entire outfit; it is elegant with its bows and frills and the colour draws away from the vastness of navy and rope like materials. COWGIRL THEME This hot western theme inspired by straw hats, checked shirts and tassel waistcoats – all which are being stocked in shops for this April. Denim shorts for when the weather is nice and hot and blue denim jeans for when the weather is less sunny but you still want to rock that southern American look. Simple jewellery and plain charms will make sure your outfit isn’t boring but won’t overload your look. When it comes to shoes you could always go for that classic cowgirl boot look, tan, dark brown, black, white and red cowgirl boots certainly look good on those that can pull them off. I would say whenever buying boots, invest in a decent pair, you are probably going to set yourself back £60 - £80 (that is a real cheap pair). For those who perhaps don’t have the legs for them (I would put myself in this category) or for those who definitely do not have £80 to spend on shoes this Easter an alternative would be a nice tan pair of brogues or maybe even some flashing white low ankle converse. Checked shirts are really what are needed for full cowgirl attire, but as the weather starts to heat up long sleeves are definitely not what we need. Short sleeve checks and front ties are really summery and shops like New Look and River Island will definitely have them stocked this Easter. TRIBAL THEME Tribal is one of the newest themes to have taken off in the last year or so. Aztec and large geometric prints have literally been plastered over leggings, tops, jeans, bags, shoes and accessories. Why not take a simple summer outfit, such as a crop top and skirt, and add an Aztec bralet instead. Top with a light, acid wash denim jacket (plenty of short sleeve jackets out there on the market in the summer) some snazzy tights and sensible black ankle boots. When it comes to jewellery and other accessories there are loads around! It is important to keep a few items of clothing in your outfit simple and just add in those tribal prints to avoid clashing.
NAUTICAL
COWGIRL
Playsuit; £25.00, River Island. Espadrilles; £20.00, Topshop.
TRIBAL
Waistcoat; £35.00, River Island. Top; £12.00, New Look
Shirt;£14.99, New Look. Hat; £23.00, Topshop.
NAKIAMI Piotr Marszalek looks at the portrayal of women in Anime and shows us it’s not all doom and gloom COMIC BOOKS, VIDEO GAMES AND ANIME are pretty sexist. No! I hear you all cry. What about all the tastefully portrayed, strong, independent females like this:
The realistically proportioned and equipped combatants in video games:
And the accurate, progressive depictions of girls in action-packed shonen series:
And the......yeah I could do this all day. All of the above is old news. All three of these industries have been channelling a pretty strong “by males, for males” vibe from the start. Time has moved on (but not nearly enough), boys became men and the whole affair became a lot less laughable. But pop-culture history lessons aside, I’m here to talk about what I both know and love: anime. When it comes to putting women down, anime isn’t doing too badly. In most countries around half the fans are female (in Germany the lady-otaku’s outnumber their brethren 4 to 1), there is a lot of good material aimed at women in the forms of shojo and josei. Admittedly this is due to a number of socio-economic factors apart from the creative drive of it’s artists, and the fact that it is very different as an entertainment medium from graphic novels and digital amusements. However, despite all this progress, things are far from perfect, and majority of the material aimed at the approximate same demographics as comics and games encounters the same pitfalls as it’s sister pursuits.
At one point in my recent history an article I was watching challenged me to think of female characters in video games that weren’t there to provide eye-candy or simple motivation (usually by getting kidnapped or something) for the male protagonist. I figured I would apply the same thing to shonen anime (i.e. action-based anime aimed at young males) and see if I could find any. And after a panicked fifteen minutes of “what about her in....oh, wait, no she practically flashes someone every episode and then cooks breakfast for the main character” I gave up and made peace with the fact that I was a fan of something pretty bigoted. Terrified I would soon start demanding that women give up their voting rights I widened my search to try to find at least one. It was disappointingly difficult. Salvation came in the form of Nakiami from Xam’d: Lost Memories (a truly spectacular series, by the way). The relief of finding at least a single deep, well-made female compelled me to list her literary virtues, and generally write out this little “it’s not all doomand-gloom” article.
Xam’d is a pretty intense series, with a lot going on. Romance, drama, growing-up, the nature of neutrality and morality all frolic together against the backdrop of a world war, with a general style that takes heavily from Hayao Miyazaki’s work (with, might I add, flying airships). It mainly follows the story of Akiyuki Takehara, who lived life peacefully on the neutral island of Sentan until a mysterious suicide bombing during an air raid caused him to get a blue sphere called a hiruko embedded in his arm. It then causes him to transform into a strange humanoid monster called a Xam’d. He uses his uncontrollable Xam’d powers to rescue a close friend of his (Haru Nishimura), before suddenly starting to turn into stone. It is at this point that he is rescued by Nakiami; she works on an international postal ship as a navigator (a girl? Rescuing a boy? Unthinkable!). She reverses the calcification process and tells him that if he wants to live, he has to follow her and learn to co-exist with the hiruko within him. This first introduction sets much of the theme for the rest of the series. It turns out that Nakiami is highly knowledgeable about hiruko and xam’d, and has already saved others in a similar fashion in the past. Despite being fairly unemotional, she is a hugely com-
passionate character, genuinely working towards a world where all living beings can co-exist peacefully. She hates killing, even when in danger herself.
What I particularly liked about this series is that while many others tend to focus on the romantic aspect of the female protagonist’s gender, Xam’d looks at the more nurturing side of being a woman. Nakiami’s main relationships tend to be of a maternal nature: she has to look after Akiyuki and another man with a hiruko called Raigyo to make sure they survive and don’t turn to stone. Later in the series she goes on a journey and ends up picking up a young orphan (who also has a hiruko). Motherhood is an important part of being a woman; some might argue it is the most important facet, as only females can give birth. It is encouraging that there is a series that starts to explore those aspects of femininity in a narrative sense, and I hope other series will follow suit. After all, I’m sure it can provide all the drama, comedy and emotional engagement of a love story. There is definitely some romantic tension in the series. Other characters enquire and question Nakiami’s relationships with Akiyuki and Raigyo (because they spend all their time together in her room). Despite this, she remains single minded in her pure intention to nurture the two men as xam’d. I quite like this, as it is heartening to see a female character that does not need a man to be defined, or a man’s approval or love to be empowered as a woman. Nakiami has her tasks, and she sticks to them. So there we have it. You can have a tough, empowered woman in an action anime that keeps the twins wrapped up, doesn’t show her affection via breakfast and isn’t a manbeating amazon like other series would have you believe. One can only hope that other studios will build upon this groundwork, creating less embarrassing female characters, and also exploring the maternal side of being a woman. And admit it. Nakiami is supercute!
W
IE V RE
Onomé Okwuosa Takes a look at the new lesbian drama ‘between women’ It’s 2012 and the lesbian and gay community are comfortably out of the closet. That said, when you turn on the box in the corner one thing you'll notice is that lesbians are hugely under represented. We all remember gasping, squealing and clapping when Eastenders’ Sonia Fowler entered into a steamy affair with none other than the nurse Naomi Julien; fast forward a little and her character has done what? returned to her husband to live happily ever after in heterosexual bliss. It’s blessed that a week can't go by in TV land without being exposed to a gay theme within a popular soap such as Eastenders’ Syed and his gay lover Christian, or being entertained by a host of gay presenters: Graham Norton, Alan Carr, Stephen Fry and of course there's Gok Wan teaching us how to look good naked. When I try to call to mind current lesbian themes or TV presenters in the UK I draw a blank. It seems if you want to be exposed to shows that include women loving women, you have to go across the pond to the States. Thankfully there’s Youtube and a few savvy searches later and I came across 'Between Women'. Perhaps it was the ‘Go there if you dare’ tagline that compelled me to hit that play button, but once I had I was hooked. The show borne from Michelle Daniel, both the writer and executive producer of the series introduces us to 6 central (lesbian) characters living in Atlanta, heralded as the black gay capital of America. The show really does “send you on an emotional roller-coaster” as it tackles some of the harder hitting themes such as domestic violence, compulsive cheating as well as the joys that come with developing one's identity when first ‘coming out’. I’m yet to decide which of the characters are my favourite; I have a huge soft spot for the newly out and proud lesbian and youngest of the group ‘Sunny Walker’. One can't help but cringe as well as giggle as she struggles to find her identity, dabbling with heels and figure hugging outfits in an attempt to be the typical femme, only to ditch them after falling flat on her behind! Being a complete numpty when it comes to women, one episode had me in stitches as the suave and sophisticated ‘Miller’, the fountain of all knowledge when it comes to the art of seducing women gives her a crash course. She does all that she can to hand over nuggets of knowledge to the newbie but try as she might after 7 episodes we are yet to see Sunny nab herself a Betty. The eclectic mix of characters intertwine comfortably together despite their tangled web of love, lies and of course deceit; making this a must see show for anyone looking for the latest lesbian TV show. Perhaps with enough funding and a large enough following this programme will find its way into the mainstream arena of TV land.
So it’s spring, the sun is out and what is appearing in our shops? Florals. Sophie Cohen has a look at the trend which, year in year out, tries and fails to be original I know you have been waiting for me to write about it. I mean it’s spring, so they grow and it’s topical; and also (if you are a keen BID reader) you may know of my rant about how much I dislike generic spring clothing: pastel colours, lace and general girlyness...ew. I have two words for you: floral prints. I prefer studs and frayed denim shorts; my grungey, punky style doesn’t really fit with the light and airy spring time aura. I don’t mean to sound butch (I don’t even think I look butch) but if there is one thing I cannot pull off is a girly flowery print. I am talking level pegging with pastel colours and my chalky skin. Bold edgy prints were everywhere in 2011, colour blocking, Aztec and tribal prints featured strongly in both the designer and high street fashion clothing lines; but floral seems to reliably bite back every spring so why would this year be any different? There does seem to be quite an extensive selection this season however; playsuits, dresses, shorts, skirts, underwear, crop tops, t-shirts, blouses, scarves, wellies, plenty of jewellery and a lot of wedges and heels. This is one trend it certainly will not be difficult to follow! Top: Oasis, £25.00 Canvas: Urban Outfitters, £28.00
Pressure A SHORT STORY BY LYNSEY CALDERWOOD SHARON GRIPPED THE BLUE RUBBER HANDLE on the new, high power, stainless steel iron that she’d just bought from the Index catalogue for twenty quid. She smiled as she pressed the dry steam button with her thumb, and watched the hot air come gasping out. Sharon loved ironing. She found it therapeutic. She especially loved ironing whilst listening to MTV on the telly. She didn’t often get peace to watch what she wanted because either she was at work, or Kelly was home watching all the shite of the day and babbling on about voluntary community arts projects. She put the iron down on the ironing board then picked up the doodah for the telly and pressed the red on-button. E4 came on. Big Brother. The housemates were all dressed up in school uniforms. She flicked the doodah back and forth between the two channels, weighing up which one she’d prefer to listen to: adults dressed like big weans singing Scottish folk songs or The Cheeky Girls an their shitey song that consisted of five words? She decided on Big Brother and put the doodah back down on the coffee table. Usually she hated all that reality game show shite: she didn’t see the point in watching people arguing over shopping lists or who stole the last scone, but she was gradually suckered into it because Kelly kept insisting that they watch the highlights in bed. Back and forth, back and forth, Sharon ran the hot iron over the spaghetti-thin straps of Kelly’s white vest top. It was Kelly’s favourite, the one she called her ‘lady top’ because it had a black and white picture of a woman wearing low cut jeans and showing off her belly button. Nearly everything in the washing basket was Kelly’s: Kelly’s Adidas tracksuit for the gym, Kelly’s FCUK cords and Kelly’s Miss Sixty jeans that cost ninety-five quid, plus an extra twelve to get them taken up because she couldn’t be arsed trying them on in the shop that day. When Kelly and Sharon had been at school together, it was Kelly that teased Sharon and called her the designer label babe: Benzini, Naf-Naf (aye they jackets were naff alright, they made you look like you were wearing a black bin bag), Fruit of the Loom, McKenzie and Sharon’s eighteen different Sweater Shop jumpers that her father taxed off her when they went out of fashion. Sharon grew out of it though. She grew up. When her and Kelly got that flat next to the Govan market she put all that nonsense behind her. The way you looked and the clothes you wore they didn’t really matter, Sharon had thought, as long as you were clean and you were happy. And she had been happy with Kelly. She put a towel over the lady vest to preserve the picture while she pressed it. Kelly would crack up if it got marked. Even if Sharon said to her she’d replace it, she’d buy a new one even though she didn’t have the money, Kelly’d still go on about it - ‘ye ruined ma favourite top … ye burnt it …’ – for about six months after the event you’d still be hearing about it. Somebody on the telly was singing ‘Lean On Me’. Sharon stopped ironing for a minute and looked up; it was the new housemate, the one that nominated Michelle for eviction the other week. Sharon couldn’t remember her name. She knew most of the housemates names but she couldn’t for the life of her remember what that lassie was called. Kelly didn’t even know how to iron when they first moved in together. Kelly was twentyfour and Sharon was eleven months younger, and Kelly couldn’t iron a pair of knickers or work a frigging washing machine. Everything had been done for Kelly her whole life. It wouldn’t surprise her if Kelly’d been one of those weans that shouted for their mammy to come wipe their arse when they were finished in the toilet. She’d never been made wash a dish or put a washing out and she’d never even had a Saturday job. Sharon’s mother had been dead since she was eleven and she’d to learn to do it all; she’d come in from school everyday and do her paper round then make the dinner, do the washing and the ironing and look after her wee sister till her dad got in from work, that was as well as getting all her own stuff done for school. Even now, Kelly rarely put to use the skills that Sharon had taught her. She’d rather be out help-
ing all the shite of the day: drug abusers and wasters and fucking refugees and all the other ones that neither worked nor wanted. While Sharon was out from eight in the morning till six o’clock most nights working her arse off in Boots the chemist to keep a roof over both their heads, Kelly was out taking photos with the so-called ‘underpriviledged’ and learning them how to work a fucking camera. But that was the thing about Kelly, she could be dead nice to folk and go out her way to help and then not lift a bloody finger in her own house. She was talented, Sharon had to admit, some of the films she’d taken when they were on holiday even the ones from years ago they looked mega professional. She had this thing though about trying to get in with folk, trying to impress them. Sharon had seen her do it when they were at school. She’d suck up the arses of all the popular kids and they’d all use her and then dump her. And she was still doing it, twenty-five years old and still running after all the ones that didn’t really deserve her, that’s what really riled Sharon; see if Kelly’d just do something with her talents, she thought, just go back to college or something then maybe she could get a job that actually paid and they could sell the flat and get out of the fucking dump they were living in. Get the fuck right out of Govan. Sharon picked up the vest top by its straps and folded it corner to corner then folded it in half again. The next T-shirt in the basket was another one of Kelly’s. ‘Give Me Back My Ruby Slippers’ it said below a rubbery red transfer of Dorothy and the Wicked Witch of the West. It was poles apart from the style of the lady top and the Miss Sixty jeans, but then that was Kelly wasn’t it? Sharon sometimes thought she was living with several different folk. Kelly was like a chameleon except it was her personality that changed: depending on who she was with she’d adapt her clothes, her mannerisms and the way she spoke. Sharon turned the T-Shirt round its right way. She folded it so that the transfer was sitting perfectly in the centre with Dorothy and the Wicked Witch grinning up at her, smugly. That was the last of the ironing. Sharon lifted her wee pile and took it through to the bedroom. She was shattered now and she’d decided already that Kelly could put hers away herself when she came in. Whenever she decided to come in. She sat down and lit up a Super King, turned her attention back to the telly. Nadia the transvestite was shouting ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours’. I fucking hope not, thought Sharon. That Nadia was a pain in the arse, and she’d a voice like a hyena with a bad cough. Jason had started singing ‘Donald Where’s Yir Troosers’ and Dan, the gay one that only slept with straight men was lying half asleep inside something that looked like a giant yellow hula hoop. Nadia was getting her makeup done now by Shell. They were showing a close up of her face as Shell applied the eyeshadow. She reminded Sharon of Frida Kahlo but without the monobrow. That was one of Kelly’s favourite films. They’d to go watch her life story in the cinema when it first came out. They were the only ones in the place and Sharon’d fell asleep half way through it and now the only bit she could remember was the monobrow and the fact that Frida Kahlo liked to cross dress as well. You can well tell that Nadia’s a man, thought Sharon. She couldn’t understand how the other ones in that show hadn’t worked it out. Christ, she was like Desperate Dan! Sharon could always tell when somebody was a tranny, even with the ones that came into her shop - and some of them made gorgeous-looking women. But still... Big Brother was just a pure freak show she decided. They were all arseholes on that program - they’d need to be to get on it. Sharon could see Kelly applying for it. She was that desperate for attention, for folk to like her. She could just see Kelly trying to make herself the angel of the house, inventing this Mother Theresa caricature for the public. She wouldn’t last a week though, she’d fucking evict herself. Sharon screwed her fag out in the ashtray and stood up. She unplugged the iron and wrapped the cord around the handle. Maybe that’s what I should do, she thought, fucking evict myself from this place. She wondered how long Kelly’d cope if she was on her own. She looked around at the mountain of clothes that were sitting on the couch just waiting to be put back in their drawers and sniggered to herself. Then she sighed and shook her head and began folding the ironing board away into the cupboard.
B.I.D ZINE Issue 12
With Thanks To: Holly Richardson Lotte Murphy-Johnson SOPHIE Cohen lynsey calderwood Lili Murphy-Johnson Piotr Marszalek OnomĂŠ Okwuosa