Metro Times 05/01/2024

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4 May 1-7, 2024 | metrotimes.com News & Views Feedback 6 News 10 Lapointe 14 Cover Story Detroit mulls urban livestock ordinance 18 What’s Going On Things to do this week 25 Food Bites 30 Culture Arts 34 Savage Love 36 Horoscopes 38 Vol. 44 | No. 28 | May 1-7, 2024 Copyright: The entire contents of the Detroit Metro Times are copyright 2024 by Big Lou Holdings, LLC. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. The publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed below. Prior written permission must be granted to Metro Times for additional copies. Metro Times may be distributed only by Metro Times’ authorized distributors and independent contractors. Subscriptions are available by mail inside the U.S. for six months at $80 and a yearly subscription for $150. Include check or money order payable to: Metro Times Subscriptions, P.O. Box 20734, Ferndale, MI, 48220. (Please note: Third Class subscription copies are usually received 3-5 days after publication date in the Detroit area.) Most back issues obtainable for $7 prepaid by mail. Printed on recycled paper 248-620-2990 Printed By
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EDITORIAL
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NEWS & VIEWS

Feedback

We got a lot of feedback in response to last week’s cover story by contributor Randiah Camille Green about how Arab American artists are using their work to raise awareness about Palestinians despite censorship.

Thank you for featuring us!

—@thowra.dabke, Instagram

The Palestinian people ALSO have a right to exist. Shame on those that think they should not.

—@runewarrior921, Instagram

There is no form of Palestinian pride, resistance, or protest the West has ever

found acceptable. So stop asking for their approval, dance, wave your flags, and the rest can die mad about it.

—@wonderwall79, Instagram

i wonder if they changed anyones minds ��

—Mitch Tryfort, Facebook

We also got feedback in response to news that friends Rene Lichtman, a Jew who survived the Holocaust, and Ismael Noor, a Palestinian who survived the Nakba, urged Farmington Hills to pass a resolution calling for a ceasefire in Gaza.

I attended this yesterday. So inspiring to see and hear both survivors demanding for a ceasefire now!

—Mike Acf, Facebook

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NEWS & VIEWS

The cash value of racism

In her new book, journalist Tracie McMillan interrogates white privilege

Racism is often analyzed as a system of oppression that disadvantages people of color across various areas of life. Award-winning investigative reporter Tracie McMillan offers a fresh perspective, instead examining the benefits that white individuals, including herself, receive as a result of racism.

In the author’s first book, The American Way of Eating, McMillan focused heavily on white resentment and the food industry. Now, in The White Bonus: Five Families and the Cash Value of Racism in America, the author merges journalism with memoir to measure the cash benefit – and the cost – of racism for white Americans.

The book, released on April 23, begins with McMillan’s own family and personal history of abuse, illness, and poverty, much of which took place in Michigan. Later, the author interlaces her story with profiles of four other middle-class white subjects, spanning generations and different areas of the country. The final chapter of the book discusses gentrification in Detroit specifically, highlighting McMillan’s own experience of purchasing an affordable home in the city, courtesy of the “bonus of racism” for white people.

The author describes “the white bonus” as an estimate of the money a white person gets or saves because of white supremacy, through “family” and “social” bonuses. For McMillan herself, she estimates that value to be $371,934. Yet, she emphasizes throughout the book that these privileges are not without cost, impacting not only Black Americans but white individuals too.

Metro Times spoke with McMillan, who splits her time between Detroit and Brooklyn, New York, about the book’s concept and connection to Michigan.

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Detroit journalist Tracie McMillan’s new book is The White Bonus: Five Families and the Cash Value of Racism in America SARAH RICE

The conversation was lightly edited for length and clarity.

How did the idea for the concept of “the white bonus” evolve from your initial inspiration to write this book to what it is now?

“I knew that I wanted to figure out how to write about whiteness and class in a way that served racial justice. The idea for this book really started in my head in 2016, when I saw both Trump’s rise and there was this book, Hillbilly Elegy that people were really excited about and I just felt like Hillbilly Elegy ain’t it, like this is not actually helpful. That book, in my opinion, largely blamed poor people for being poor. I don’t like when that happens to people who aren’t white. I don’t like when that happens to people who are white. For me, as a journalist, I care a lot about poverty, so I wanted to figure out some way to talk about that. Being a Midwestern, sort of lower-middle-class person in New York media, and at the time food circles, most of the people around me had a lot more financial backing than I did. What that meant was that in New York, it often felt like a conversation about white privilege. You would say, ‘Oh, well, you know, white kids, their parents pay for their university.’ And it’s like, ‘Well, that doesn’t really apply to me.’ That doesn’t apply to a lot of white people, but it doesn’t mean that race isn’t working somewhere. So for me, I wanted to figure out how to talk about white advantage for people who aren’t rich, because usually we just sort of mix the two in. The idea specifically for measuring it, that took a couple of years of writing a lot of stuff that I didn’t keep, but trying to figure out what I was thinking about. White privilege as a concept is so slippery, and it’s really easy to just start arguing about, does it exist, which kind of privilege, and I just felt like if you could put a measure on it, we could have a more productive conversation. At least then the conversation is not about does it exist, the conversation is about how big is it. You’ve already assumed that it exists, and that just felt more honest, to go about it that way.”

How would you say that writing and reporting The White Bonus prompted you to confront your race in a new way, uniquely to your first book, The American Way of Eating?

“When I worked on The American Way of Eating, I had decided to write that book in a way where I would take my race and gender really seriously. That felt like an honest way to tell

that story. I had gone and worked undercover at a few jobs in the food system; two of those jobs, I was the only white person in either workplace and the only white woman in either workplace … In both of those places, I got treated differently because of my race. Usually, I was treated better. Gender was a mixed bag. In some instances, I was treated with more kindness. Then I write about how at Applebee’s I get sexually assaulted, a co-worker drugs my drink and I get assaulted. That’s also about gender. So for me, it was just really important to reflect those things in my writing and it was the first time that I had sort of time and headspace to really think about how being white and how being a woman was shaping my life. One of the great privileges of being able to write professionally is in some ways I get paid to think about stuff so I can explain it better. So, there’s no way I could have written The White Bonus if I hadn’t spent the first book trying to figure out and get a handle on how my race was shaping my life.”

You’re a professional journalist, but this book is a mix of journalism and memoir. What was it like for you to merge research with such personal stories?

“I wanted to bring in memoir because I couldn’t tell an honest story without it and that’s true on a number of levels. I think it is true in a really practical way because the book is about my financial opportunities and involves tracking what kind of support I’ve gotten from my family. I went through a period during college and for a little while after where I did not talk to my father and stepmother. I did not get any money from them. The reason I did not talk to them is because my experience was that my father was physically abusive, and then everybody was sort of pretending like it wasn’t happening. If I didn’t write about the abuse, I couldn’t explain why I was poor.”

“There’s also a deeper reason that gets pulled out later on in the book that, in the [2010s]… all these sort of big public stories about racism, and then the appearance of a forum where you don’t have to get past a gatekeeper to say your piece. So, I’m starting to read more and more and I’m realizing, Black people’s understanding of racism is very different from the one that I was raised with. I’ve seen all this stuff happen and when I’m listening to and reading Black writers talk about what it’s like to experience racism, I’m constantly hearing an echo of the things that I endured, sort of, in an abusive

family. It’s not the same thing, it’s a completely different scale and scope and heft, but a lot of racial subjugation are the same things that people use to subjugate kids or partners or people that they’re abusing them in some way. For me, I just felt like that was such a powerful insight about my country, that the thing that gave me empathy for people of color talking about what it was like to live here was abuse. So I felt like I needed to write about it that way as well.”

You talk in the book about living in rural Michigan growing up and then later living in Detroit. How would you say that living in Michigan specifically and writing this book about that helped expand your understanding of class?

“Being from the rural Midwest, I’ve been working since I was 14, that is normal where I grew up. It is not normal for students at NYU. I think just because of the nature of my life, and also because in New York, I’ve written for and been part of fairly elite circles and publications. When I was in college, I worked for a very wealthy family, and I had a really unique opportunity to go up and down the class ladder even in a day. I was working through AmeriCorps at a public high school in New York City, so 7 a.m., start of classes, I’m there with Dominican immigrants, Black New Yorkers, and Chinese immigrant kids, helping them learn to read and navigate high school. Then, I would walk a couple miles uptown to where NYU was and I’d be in classes with people who are the children of movie producers and doctors and have much more financial access — and by the way, very, relatively diverse. NYU had a really diverse student body but most of the kids came from money. I was a scholarship kid, so it was very different for me. Then, in the evenings, I would go work as a nanny-slash-tutor for this family that had a house in Connecticut, the kids had been to seven of the continents already and they were 11 and 14, famous people would come over for dinner, and so most Americans don’t get to go up and down that much. Maybe you sort of get mobility and go up, but particularly because I chose a career as an independent writer, which I’m able to do because I have cheap housing, because I chose that career, some years I have money, some years I don’t. I just go up and down all the time, and that’s really different from how most Americans live, which I think gives me insight that’s really helpful in the kind of work that I do.”

In the final chapter of the book, you talk about Detroit’s gentrification and how “the white bonus” has allowed you to buy property in the city. What would you say you learned specifically about the city of Detroit and the race and class in the city through your research for this book?

“Before I wrote the book, I had a loose understanding that ‘Oh, racism, probably, hasn’t been great for the city,’ in a general sense. But the magic of investigative reporting is that you take those big ideas and you nail them down with facts. The way that the ‘white bonus’ is working for me in Detroit isn’t so much the family bonus, the actual money given to you that you wouldn’t have if you weren’t white, but the ‘white bonus’ here is more the bonus of racism. Racism put the city in super sale, all that predatory lending, it blew up the city’s housing market. The reason that we had so much housing that was so cheap was because of that predatory lending crisis and the cascade of first bank foreclosures and then tax foreclosures. All of that can really clearly be traced back to racism, particularly racism in money. Some of the banks involved… they intentionally targeted Black borrowers and even Black homeowners and convinced them to pull equity out of their homes. That is why the housing in Detroit went on super sale. I did try calling the family that owned my house before it went into foreclosure and they did not want to talk to me about this, understandably. There’s a lot of stigma around mortgages and stuff like that, but I just think, the timing of it, the house that I own went into foreclosure just as the bank foreclosure stuff was getting going. The value of the house was like the median value of houses that went into foreclosure. I just think that it’s highly unlikely I would be able to be a homeowner, particularly as a lowerincome writer, if it hadn’t been cheap, and that means I benefited from racism, even though I didn’t do anything to sort of make that happen.”

In the book, you critique mainstream journalists, including yourself, for centering white people, even though the book’s primary subjects are all white. Why did you feel that this focus was uniquely important?

“I don’t think white America ever talks about this. White America never talks about whiteness as an advantage and I think it’s really damaging to our country. I think it’s really damaging to our democracy and our economy

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to be dishonest about the way that government policy has given more opportunity to white people. We usually talk about racism as this thing that takes away from Black people, it denies Black people opportunities, like you don’t get given a mortgage. That’s one way to look at it. But it is also true that for a mortgage, you get given it or you don’t get given it, but the active thing is the giving. If you didn’t get a mortgage, nothing is happening. If you get a mortgage, something is happening. So, things like [Federal Housing Administration] loans, white people got mortgages so they could become property owners, but we don’t talk about it that way. We don’t talk about it as a choice of government and so it obscures what’s actually happening, which is that the racial wealth gap is largely due to policies that let white families build more wealth than Black families. It’s not only because white families worked harder, made smart decisions, though often they had to do that. It’s that the government gave them the opportunity and made the conditions for stuff to move forward and then we get to white people as voters try to say, ‘We don’t want to spend money and give handouts to people of color because we didn’t have anything,’ except that we did. When we don’t talk about white advantage, it hides it and it strengthens racism and makes it almost impossible to actually start dismantling it. One thing I think about a lot is that there’s all these stories about white people all the time, and the one story we never talk about is that government made it sort of financially beneficial to be white. We never talk about that. That’s a hidden story.”

Why do you feel that Detroiters should read your book?

“Some of the history around racism in Oakland County is just bananas to me. I grew up in Oakland County. I did not know how much of a racist reputation Oakland County had. I did not know that Ferndale was the first northern school district to be sued by the federal government for operating a segregated district. I did not know right that in 197o or ’71, the Ku Klux Klan blew up 10 school buses to try and prolong segregation there. I mean, these are my people. I had no idea about any of this. So I think, particularly for white readers in Detroit, because the previous generations are hiding that stuff from us, I think it’s important to understand. If you’re a white person in Detroit, you can understand some of why Black people might not be super

trusting or excited about talking to you and that that history is there. I was raised to be like, ‘I’m colorblind,’ and I should never talk about race. That also makes it really hard for me to be friends with anyone who’s not white because they’re like, ‘What are you doing? You don’t understand reality.’ I want to be able to talk to my neighbors and have them feel like I see them as my equal. That’s important. So for me, just being a good neighbor in Detroit means having some understanding of how racism in the region has worked. The depth of the racism in Oakland County really blew my mind. I did not know that history and it was really humbling and upsetting to learn it.”

What do you feel or hope that both white and non-white readers can differently learn from reading The White Bonus?

“I think for white readers, to examine how we think about race and racism and how it impacts our lives. I think,

measurement process is that once you measure what white people are getting, it frees you up to be honest about what racism costs all of us, including a lot of white people, and you can’t really get there if you can’t admit that it’s a bonus first. So I think for white people, it’s to start thinking about ‘Is this really worth it? Do you get enough because of racism? Do you think staying silent about racism is worth all the things that costs you?’ We don’t have public health care in this country largely because of racism. Higher education and student debt has gotten way worse because of the racism of white voters who wanted to take their taxes out of the system because they were worried about public programs going to Black and brown folks. As the college population gets less white, support for state funding for universities goes down. White Americans keep co-signing on these really punitive programs, making people prove that they deserve help because they think it’s not gonna come for us, but that’s not how it works.”

for me, doing this project made me personally much more dedicated to doing work in my communities to try and end racism and mitigate sort of its worst effects. I belong to my tenant organization in Brooklyn, and I’m one of 48 tenants. I’m the only white tenant and the co-chair of the tenant organization and I just sort of resolved that I would put in more work. Understanding so much of how my financial stability has depended on me being white encouraged me to help my neighbors out when I can, and it’s also just on a day-today level. The management tends to be more receptive to me than to my other neighbors when we’re making complaints about the building, so there’s a way that I can use the sort of racism that benefits me and hears me more easily than other folks to help people. It’s important to focus on ‘the white bonus,’ but I also write about its costs, about racism’s costs. I think that’s actually one of the more powerful things about doing this

“For people who aren’t white, I don’t know that any of the broad argument of the book is surprising to anybody. Most people of color are aware that white people have gotten more help than they and their families have. My hope is that it’s like receipts, it’s sort of like, ‘Here’s a compendium, giving you really clear and specific examples of how that is happening.’ I think for both white people and people who aren’t white, if we only focus on the bonus part, which we have to be honest about if we’re not also honest about the cost, I don’t think we’ll get anywhere helpful. Certainly, Black and brown people pay the deepest cost for racism, but a lot of white people need the things that racism ruins. I think that there’s sort of an opportunity to start building a country where we can all work together as equals and live up to the ideals that were told this country holds dear because we don’t, generally speaking, do a very good job of treating everyone like their equal, but if we can start being honest about how racism works, I think there’s an opportunity there to really build.”

McMillan’s book tour includes stops at 6 p.m. on Tuesday, May 7 at Detroit Public Library, 5201 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 6:30 p.m. on Wednesday, May 8 at Literati Bookstore, 124 E. Washington St., Ann Arbor; and 6 p.m. on Thursday, May 9 at Oak Park City Hall; 13600 Oak Park Blvd., Oak Park. See traciemcmillan.com for more information.

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COURTESY PHOTO

Lapointe

The Red Wings got trashed

Thursday, February 29, dawned as an optimistic leap-year day for the Red Wings and their hopeful fans. But as the night ended, their grip began to slip on the 2023-24 season and they gradually fell from hockey’s icy cliff. Coming into that game, the Wings had enjoyed a six-game winning streak and seemed poised to qualify for the Stanley Cup playoffs for the first time since 2016 and for the first time in the five-year reign of general manager Steve Yzerman.

But that also was the night they debuted their new uniform decoration, the circular logo of “Priority Waste Management,” a trash hauler based in Clinton Township in Macomb County, northeast of Detroit. They displayed it high on the sweater, near one shoulder.

It was the first time in the Wings’ 97year history that their venerated home chasuble — bearing the white logo of the winged wheel — shared space with a piece of advertising on its blood-red background, the hallowed battle shirt once dipped in the sacrificial blood of

Claude Lemieux.

And, instead of choosing some business generic to the Motor City — a car company, perhaps, or a gambling casino or maybe even a marijuana dealership — the Wings and owner Chris Ilitch chose a company that takes away garbage.

Such removal is an important function to civilization but somewhat unflattering as a sports team’s brand. Starting that very night, the Wings lost seven consecutive games. Yes, they got trashed. They fell from playoff ranking and never quite scrambled back up the slippery slope.

Despite winning their final three games in one of the season’s most exciting weeks, they missed the tournament and tied for 17th place overall in the 32team National Hockey League.

It might be an overstatement to say the Wings jinxed their season with unfortunate commercial branding. And Detroit fans fear finding fault with Yzerman, a local legend from the “Hockeytown” era. Yzerman replaced Ken Holland, who has since done well in

Edmonton.

And Yzerman’s boosters in the seats and in the media overlook how the Vegas Golden Knights grew from expansion team to Stanley Cup champions in fewer years than it has taken Yzerman’s restoration of the franchise he once captained to glory.

Yzerman rarely speaks to the news media and is, therefore, generally unaccountable to the fans. In that way, he resembles owner Ilitch. Yzerman deigned to hold his season-review news conference last week and spoke mostly with subtle spin and in banal generalities.

But, when asked about his team giving up too many goals, Yzerman said it was not just the fault of the goalies or the defensemen or the forwards. He said specifically that the blame goes up to the coaching staff. He didn’t specifically mention head coach Derek Lalonde.

But, then again, he didn’t have to. Yzerman began with his usual selfassurance.

“It is incumbent on our coaching staff to—” Yzerman said.

Then he paused, thought about his words, and moved his hands into a web of his fingers. In this brief moment, Yzerman was not his usual smoothtalking self.

“Uh,” Yzerman said, continuing about the coaching staff, “Ah, uh, to instill or improve — continue to work on — being more — or whether — it’s a better system — or getting better in the way they play.”

From a generally poised sports executive who usually speaks in whole thoughts, this Yzerman transcript demands a translation, based on the key words “our coaching staff.” It would say:

“My coach will soon start the third year of his three-year contract. Although our team improved, it is beyond time for us to make the playoffs. If next season starts poorly, I will pull the plug on him before Christmas and find a new coach. Because there is no way I will take the blame for this slow rebuild. And the Ilitches will tolerate it because I am the golden boy of this franchise.”

To Yzerman’s credit, he didn’t use as

14 May 1-7, 2024 | metrotimes.com
Did the team jinx their season with unfortunate commercial branding? UPI / Alamy Stock Photo

an excuse the injury that took captain Dylan Larkin out for almost three weeks as they went into their skid.

“Teams lose their top player all the time,” Yzerman said, “and find a way to win games.”

That is true. Sometimes they do it by keeping down the goals-against, especially when the general manager provides the coach with defensive-minded players willing to back-check, start scrums after whistles and intimidate opponents with heavy collisions.

Instead, Yzerman has given Lalonde a patchwork team of veterans that includes many one-way forwards who are not overly physical on offense or responsible defensively. One was Patrick Kane, a free-agent rental with exquisite offensive skills for shooting, passing and controlling the tempo.

He is dazzling to watch, but Kane is not the guy to defend Lucas Raymond, a blossoming attacker who nevertheless absorbs too much bully abuse after whistles from opponents who rub their gloves in his face or cross check him when he nears the enemy net.

Remember when Yzerman was Detroit’s star center? Joey Kocur, one of his bodyguards, once said his job was to “keep the flies off Stevie.” The NHL does not allow as much vigilante brawling as in the past, but every team still needs someone to back up the skilled guys.

Yzerman must find one or two like this. His heaviest hitter happens to be one of their best players: Mo Seider, the big defenseman from Germany, who someday may win a Norris trophy as the league’s best defenseman.

In his third season, Seider’s first NHL fight involved the comparably shaggy Filip Forsberg of Nashville. After knocking off each other’s helmets, they repeatedly punched each other in the hair.

Seider might be the ideal mentor to another tall, young, European defenseman, Simon Edvinsson of Sweden, who flashed great promise as a late-season callup. To fans of a certain vintage, both at best might someday play like Larry Robinson, the Montreal great, and that ain’t no faint praise.

Another small, skilled Wing is winger Alex DeBrincat, who has three seasons left on his deal signed last year as a free agent. A tricky shooter with many arrows in his quiver, he slumped terribly toward the end of the schedule.

On one play, DeBrincat stood uncovered, wide-open on offense at the edge of the left-wing circle, waiting for a perfect pass on the way. But he suddenly fell down to end the play. Despite his 27 goals, that crash landing seemed to sum up the end of his season.

And what about Larkin — age 28 this summer, and entering his 10th season — with only his freshman year in the

playoffs?

With 33 goals, he had what was probably his best season. You hope his career hasn’t peaked yet without him having had the chance to lead a decent team to postseason success during his window of possibility. Most folks love stories headlined “Local Boy Makes Good.”

So do local journalists. Certainly, Larkin grew up steeped in Motor City sports lore. His team — for all its proud history — last won a round of playoffs in 2013. Last week, he must have sensed the metro hockey energy that buzzed through town like a mini version of Lions’ fever.

Despite all the recent failure from the players, the coaches, the general manager, and the owner, the Wings played inspirationally in the last week of the season, winning their final three against “Original Six” teams from Canada. The octopus cult bought into it.

Especially in the home victory over Montreal at the LCA, you could sense even through the television the giddy, tingly energy you can get from a tense and earnest hockey game even when it is between two mediocre teams.

You could see it in the fervent celebrations of joy from the players after goals scored and the explosions of emotion from the customers. Even if you forgot to turn on your radio or television last Monday night, you could hear the hockey sound all around you, a roar blowing through the streets like a big spring wind.

While the Wings beat the Habs downtown, all that energy stirred up this big, emotional breeze that blew out from the LCA and surged over to Grand River and McGraw on the West Side where the Wings used to play at Olympia Stadium in their earliest Stanley Cup eras.

Then the windy gusts got even louder — almost tornadic! — and turned toward the Riverfront, down by where Joe Louis Arena used to be, where the Wings played in their most recent reign of Stanley Cups.

Then this joyous noise bounced further off the tunnel to Canada, which amplified it and sent it roaring back uptown toward Ilitch Village, where the Red Wings play now in a barn that pushes both pizza and waste removal.

And on the sidewalk next to the stillnewish arena, you could hear it loud and clear, something you used to hear a lot for many years at Olympia, and for a long time, too, at The Joe, but not so much in recent years at the LCA under what is known as “the Yzer-plan.”

“Let’s go Wings!” the sound on the wind seemed to roar and echo, bouncing uptown up Woodward Avenue, past Wayne State and the Fisher Building and Birmingham and maybe Mackinac, too.

“Let’s go Wings!”

EMPLOYMENT

Marketing and Communications Coordinator, Plastic Omnium Auto Inergy, Troy, MI. Research, gather, & analyze regulatory, mkt, economic, & tech data for psgr vehicle & heavyduty indl & agric vehicle mkts. Analyze heavy-duty & mobility mkt Key Performance Indicators, using SAP Enterprise Resource Planning S/W, incl. steel, aluminum, carbon fiber, injection/blow molded plastics material costs; production costs; material & final product weight; hydrogen fuel cell fuel dlvry; internal & OEM customer specs; tank fill vols & failure rates, to define, dvlp & maintain short, medium, & long term Plastic Omnium fuel cell & hydrogen vessel internal capacity & OEM production forecasts of N.A. HYDROGEN & fuel cell system (FCS) vehicle mkt. Research, perform, & verify mkt intelligence & U.S./global OEM customer demographics using S& P, Escalent, & KGP global databases, Excel tool & Pivot tables. Dvlp & forecast production plans for N.A. heavy-duty & off hwy zero emissions mobility mkts & for future OEM hydrogen fuel cell vehicles & future hydrogen-based energy storage solns. Required air travel to 3-6 annual supplier hydrogen vessel/fuel cell stack & joint producer summits in U.S. to gather competitor intelligence & analyze OEM psgr, comml & heavyduty vehicle short/medium term on-/ off-hwy FCS & hydrogen internal combustion engine vehicle portfolios, from 9-18 days P/A. Bachelor, Mktg, Commns, Commn Studies, Statistics, Data Analytics, or related. 24 mos’ exp as Mktg & Commns Anlst, Strategic Mktg Anlst, Automot Forecast & Data Anlst, Mktg & Commns Coord, or related, researching & analyzing regulatory, mkt, economic, & tech data for psgr vehicle & heavy-duty indl & agric vehicle mkts. E-mail resume to general.hr@opmobility.com (Ref#10-503).

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5/18 The Hourlies/Cherry Drop/ Pink Spit

5/11 DIVAS vs DIVAS (monthly dance party)

5/24 Movement Kickoff: TECHNO CHRISTMAS 5/25 DISKULL/Knifehouse/ Werkout Plan/Aramis

5/26 3rd ANNUAL DETROIT PARTY!

Book Your Parties at The Old Miami Email us: theoldmiamibarevents@gmail.com

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The CASE for RAISING LIVESTOCK

DETROIT

An urban farm fights to stay open as the city mulls a livestock ordinance in

Detroit Farm and Cider was transforming an entire block in the Dexter-Linwood neighborhood into something the city had never seen before. It would be the only cider mill within city limits and, reportedly, the first Black-owned mill in the country. The farm hosted children’s equestrian programs, farming workshops, and farm-to-table brunches at its four-acre property.

Everything seemed to be going well until Detroit Animal Control confiscated owner Leandra King’s horses after one escaped in 2021. Three years later King is facing criminal charges for keeping livestock like horses, goats, and chickens, which are illegal in the city.

Animal husbandry could soon become legal, however, with a proposed urban livestock ordinance underway. Since 2013, urban agriculture advocates have been working with the City Planning Department to draft the ordinance, which would allow Detroiters to keep chickens, bees, and ducks, and it’s closer than ever to becoming a reality. The ordinance has received mixed reception with the urban farmers behind it, some residents worrying about smells, and some beekeepers wanting bees left out.

City planner Kimani Jeffrey says he’s hoping to present the City Planning Committee with the final draft for a recommendation in early May. If the ordinance gets the committee’s recommendation, it will go to Detroit City Council, which will then host a public hearing and vote on whether to pass it.

It may be too late for Detroit Farm and Cider, however, and it’s unclear whether the ordinance would help the farm anyway. King’s trial was supposed to take place in April but has been postponed until September. She says the case will effectively shut down Detroit Farm and Cider.

“I’ll go to court [and] I’ll lose, because I’m guilty of having the animals, and that will go on my record,” she tells Metro Times over the phone. “Within the next couple of months, when the livestock ordinance becomes legal, other people will be able to have their animals and If I get convicted, I won’t qualify to be able to rezone as a business.”

The ordinance would require farmers to get a $50 license to raise livestock or be subject to a fine. It allows for a maximum of eight birds (including chickens

and ducks only) and two honeybee hives. Residents could have four ducks and four chickens, or any combination as long as they don’t exceed eight. It does not cover goats or horses.

City Council President Pro Tem James Tate’s office held a series of community engagement meetings in the summer of 2023 and winter of 2024 for resident feedback along with a public hearing before the City Planning Commission on February 22. The commission asked Jeffrey and urban agriculture organizer Renee Wallace of non-profit FoodPLUS to do more engagement with residents before voting on the ordinance.

City officials say they have ticketed Detroit Farm and Cider for raising illegal animals multiple times.

“City of Detroit ordinances prohibit the keeping of farm animals and the law cannot be ignored simply because the person violating it is well intentioned,” Corporation Counsel for the City of Detroit Conrad Mallett tells Metro Times via email. “In the past, the City has had to remove horses, goats, and other animals from the property. The owner has been reminded on multiple occasions since then that it is illegal to keep these animals and she has been ticketed, yet she persists. Unfortunately, we have no choice but to ask the court to compel her to follow the law.”

While the proposed ordinance only allows for chickens, ducks, and bees

as an “accessory use,” the draft does appear to include special exceptions for “principle use” for “a non-profit entity organized for educational purposes” or a “4-H program that is officially sanctioned and recognized by Michigan State University Extension.”

“Accessory” use means raising livestock is not the main function of the property — think of someone with a chicken coop in their backyard or an urban farm with beehives — whereas “principle use” implies the opposite.

Detroit Farm and Cider does provide educational programming and is 4-H certified, which seems to suggest the ordinance could provide a legal pathway. Michigan 4-H programs are those that offer hands-on youth development activities which can include things like farming and working with textiles.

Wallace explains that residents applying for a livestock license would have to select one of three categories: backyard garden, urban farm, or educational operation.

“If you’re doing an educational operation, you have more options for other animals,” Wallace says. “If you look at 4-H clubs, they have horses, sometimes they have pigs. They train young people and show people how to care for them. They would put forth their proposal to the city… If you’ve picked that option, you’ve likely already gotten 4-H certification and then you are bringing that to the city. You may be developing a pro-

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Detroit
for raising
in the
SE7ENFIFTEEN
Farm and Cider owner Leandra King is facing criminal charges
goats, chickens, and horses, which are illegal
city for now.

gram or it’s an existing program... That would allow people to have a variety of farm animals in their program, that does not limit it to chicken, bees, and ducks.”

A public hearing would have to be held, with review by several city departments, to approve the educational operation’s proposal.

In addition to being 4-H certified, Detroit Farm and Cider is Michigan Agriculture Environmental Assurance Program (MAEAP) verified, which means it upholds standards to mitigate agricultural pollution from the property. MAEAP recognizes landowners for being “environmentally sound” in areas like livestock, cropping, and farmsteading. King says she is also certified through the Right-to-Farm Program via the Michigan Department of Agriculture.

“I submitted a soil test, a manure management plan to show that my manure is being stored ethically, and I had to go through all of these processes,” she says. “My livestock are licensed and tagged. I had to go through very scrupulous training.”

King feels like her farm is being targeted, as other groups like Detroit Horse Power and Pingree Farms have received permits to raise livestock in the city. Similar to Detroit Farm and Cider, Detroit Horse Power hosts equestrian programming for youth. Pingree Farms, located off Seven Mile Road and I-75, is 4-H certified to teach middle school students animal husbandry with rabbits, goats, sheep, chickens, turkeys, miniature cows, pigs, and ponies, according to its website.

King was first charged with “possessing a wild animal without a permit” in 2021 and received a letter of support and temporary permit from Detroit City Council in 2023 that she thought would help her case. The charges were dismissed without prejudice in September of 2023 for lack of evidence but were refiled a month later.

King was in the process of working with the Building Safety, Engineering & Environmental Department (BSEED) to get Detroit Farm and Cider rezoned as a business when the case against her was reopened. The farm is in a residential neighborhood.

“I was able to go as far as having special land use. I can grow food, I just can’t sell anything here without my business license,” she explains. “I thought it was going to be resolved. In the spirit of trying to work with them… I thought that if I got rezoned, and got MAEAP approved, and certified through the Right-to-Farm program, I would be good to go. But for some reason, they are still coming after me criminally.”

Director of BSEED David Bell says via email, “We had attempted for

some time to work with the owner of this property to help her business get properly licensed after she had illegally established it in an area that is zoned only for residential use. However, we have ceased those efforts to help her until such time she comes into compliance with the law.”

Mallet adds, “We are a City of roughly 650,000 people. The people who live across the street from the non-licensed property have rights. They have the right to enjoy their homes free from animal smells and noise. Continual violation of our ordinances ultimately will create a consequence where fines and jail time is a possibility. We are protecting all of our citizens and we are disregarding no one’s rights.”

King is adamant that she will not stop keeping animals and facilitating children’s programming, even if the city shuts Detroit Farm and Cider down.

“I know that this isn’t right. It’s not fair,” she says. “If I’m doing everything within my power to appease you as a small business owner, and I’m asking what more you need me to do, and then I do it, and finally your way to shut me down is to criminally prosecute me when you’ve made these exceptions for other businesses, something’s wrong about that.”

More about the proposed ordinance

Smells and noise from animals are often cited as reasons that some residents oppose legalizing livestock in the city.

Bridge Detroit reported a group

tional design approach centering three things: the welfare of the animals, how do you center the animal keepers, and how do you center the neighbors?”

This ordinance has been a long time coming. Wallace began working on it in 2011 alongside Kathryn Lynch Underwood, a former senior planner with the City of Detroit City Planning Commission who spearheaded the project. It started with getting an urban agriculture ordinance on the books, which allowed for urban farms and gardens. That ordinance was passed in 2013 and initially included animal husbandry in addition to produce, but Wallace says the animals were removed because they thought it was more likely to pass without them. At the time, animals like goats, turkeys, and rabbits were listed, but they were removed due to community feedback.

“What we found in talking to [the] community was that not many people were raising rabbits,” she says. “Goats are food and provide a lot of different things like milk and cheese… But people said very strongly, no, we do not want to see goats. So it came down to chickens, ducks, and bees.”

of residents from the 48217 zip code, considered Detroit’s most polluted, strongly opposed the ordinance at the February 22 hearing.

“I do not approve (of) this ordinance. My parents bought the house that I still live in… it was residential property, not farming property,” Bridge Detroit reported 48217 resident Patricia Gaston as saying. “If the house next door to me decides that they want chickens and all kinds of farm animals I’m going to get all that smell in my yard. I don’t want that.”

To mitigate some of those concerns, the proposed ordinance requires that chickens and ducks be in an enclosure or shelter that is thirty feet away from any neighboring dwelling, and five feet from both the side and rear property line. The bird enclosures are only allowed behind a house, or whatever main structure is on the property, and must be less than 200 square feet.

Beehives must be 25 feet away from the property line or include a flyaway barrier of six feet high installed above.

At a community meeting where residents expressed concerns about animal keeping, a farmer brought a couple of chickens in a cage to prove they didn’t make much noise.

The proposed ordinance specifies animal husbandry as “the keeping of certain urban farm animals and domestic honeybees for personal consumption or utilization of agricultural products, such as eggs, meat, or honey.”

“These are not pets. We’re not talking about your pet chicken. This is food. This is food system work,” Wallace says. “We took a very deliberate and inten-

The first public hearing for an animal husbandry ordinance in Detroit was in 2016 and things stalled after that. Underwood retired in 2022 but the work continued and Jeffrey took up the charge within the City Planning Department.

“We still worked on the ordinance after that but a lot of things affected that,” Wallace says about why it’s taken so long. “Drop a pandemic in there. Drop a bankruptcy in there when the city has a lot of other things to look at. Elections, leadership changes…. There’s been an elongated timeline for a lot of reasons.”

While the general consensus among Detroit’s urban farmers is positive, Detroit Hives wants bees removed from the ordinance. Detroit Hives co-founder Timothy Paule tells Metro Times that the ordinance puts too many restrictions on beekeeping, and will hinder its operations.

Detroit Hives was founded in 2016 and has hives in over 29 locations including a mixture of vacant lots, urban gardens, and educational institutions in neighborhoods like Brightmoor, Jefferson Chalmers, Osbourne, and more. Under the proposed ordinance, Detroit Hives would need a separate license for each location.

“Who is pushing for this ordinance as it relates to beekeeping?” Paule says. “After attending several community input sessions, there have been numerous comments as it relates to chickens and ducks. Many residents are against it. However, there have been no complaints as it relates to honeybees… Keeping chickens and ducks is illegal. Those people that’s been keeping chickens and ducks have

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King feels like her farm is being targeted, as others have received permits. SE7ENFIFTEEN

received numerous complaints and [have] been ticketed. Keeping bees is not illegal in the city of Detroit. ”

Beekeeping is somewhat of a legal gray area in Detroit. It is legal in the State of Michigan, with certain regulations, but the City of Detroit doesn’t have any laws or ordinances that mention beekeeping.

“BSEED’s interpretation is that beekeeping is illegal, and they’re the ones doing the enforcing,” Jeffrey says. “The reason I think there is a gray area is because bees are not mentioned in the current regulations.”

The ordinance also doesn’t allow animal keeping on vacant lots, so Detroit Hives would need to have several special land use hearings to get permission to operate on these spaces. Animal keepers also have to register with animal control and be subject to inspection.

“To me, that looks like there’s more policing in areas that are predominantly beekeepers of color,” Paule says. “We’ve been doing this for over eight years focused on vacant lots. You have a vacancy. It’s not like we’re putting these hives in densely populated communities. It seems like the ideal place to keep them.”

Special land use hearings through BSEED typically cost $1,000 but Jeffrey says the city is considering lowering the cost for farmers. Typically the $1,000 fee is for commercial building projects.

Even if the cost is lowered, Paule worries that the process will take too long, rendering many of their spaces illegal in the meantime. He notes that it once took four years for Detroit Hives to legally acquire a home next to one of their hives through the city.

“We had the resources, the funding. I don’t know what it was, but it took four years,” he says. “We don’t want that to be an issue with the ordinance where it takes that long to get the proper license

for us to keep bees.”

If beekeepers don’t want bees included in the ordinance, Jeffrey says he’s willing to remove them. However, he notes that in meetings with local beekeepers, the response has been overwhelmingly positive and Detroit Hives is one of few outliers.

Jeffrey says including bees in the ordinance is a way to protect beekeepers, the same way the urban agriculture ordinance protects farmers and gardeners from having their farms destroyed if they follow the rules.

“My approach is that you want city code to expressly say you have a right to do something because if it doesn’t, at any time it can be challenged,” he says. “If it’s expressly stated, you’re in a much safer space… Our recommendation would be to move forward and review any tweaks to the language. This has been a 10-plusyear journey so I would hate to see us get close to the end and they ask for it be removed and I don’t know when another train is going to leave the station.”

To the naysayers, Wallace stresses that many people are already keeping chickens and ducks in their backyard. Passing the ordinance is just a way to make sure it is being done properly, for both the neighbors and the animals’ sake.

“No one wants to deal with chickens walking down the street,” she says. “And not everybody knows how to take care of animals… I don’t care what kind of space you got, [if] you can’t take care of them, well, you don’t need to have them. This will eliminate some of the bad actors running around… Right now there are people paying the price because it’s illegal and they’re gonna continue to pay that price unnecessarily. Let’s allow people to do it well. If you don’t do it well, you don’t get [the] permits.”

She adds, “Pray in 2024, we’re gonna have an ordinance, and a good one.”

Breaking down Detroit’s proposed urban livestock ordinance

• Chickens, ducks, and bees are allowed with a $50 license (fee may change)

• Residential properties, schools, educational institutions, restaurants, and civic buildings are allowed up to eight birds (including any combination of chickens or ducks) and two beehives

• Urban farms and gardens are allowed up to 12 chickens and ducks and four bee hives

• Chickens and ducks must be in a shelter with less than 200 square feet in floor area, thirty feet away from any neighboring dwelling, and five feet from both the side and rear property line

• Beehives must be 25 feet away from the property line or include a flyaway

barrier of six feet high

• Bird enclosures and beehives must be in the rear of the property behind the lot’s main structure (a house’s backyard, for example)

• Raising livestock is only allowed as an “accessory use” to a pre-existing property and cannot be the primary use of the land

• To establish a primary use project, a special land use hearing must be held, which may cost $1,000

• Goats, horses, rabbits, turkeys, and other animals are not allowed

• Exceptions may be permitted for education-oriented non-profits or 4-H programs with city approval

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WHAT’S GOING ON

Select events happening in metro Detroit this week. Be sure to check venue website before events for latest information. Add your event to our online calendar: metrotimes.com/ AddEvent.

MUSIC

Wednesday, May 1

Atmosphere, Hebl, Nofun! 7 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $28.

Bayside, Finch, Armor for Sleep, Winona Fighter 6 p.m.; The Fillmore, 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $29.50$54.50.

Dead Poet Society, FISSION Tour 7 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $20.

Groovy Wednesdays: Andre Ward 8-10 p.m.; One Mike Detroit, 1331 Broadway St, Detroit; $45.

Musiq Soulchild 8 p.m.; Sound Board, 2901 Grand River Ave., Detroit; $57-$68.

Jazz & Cocktails ft Sky Covington & Friends performing Jazz 7 p.m.; Aretha’s Jazz Cafe, 350 Madison St., Detroit; $15.

Rickshaw Billie’s Burger Patrol, Knuckle Dragger 7 p.m.; Lager House, 1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit; $12-$15.

Thursday, May 2

DIRK KROLL BAND LIVE! @ Goldner Walsh 7:30 p.m.; Goldner Walsh Garden & Home, 559 Orchard Lake Rd., Pontiac; $20.

June Star, The Darkness Brothers 7 p.m.; Lager House, 1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit; $10.

Girl In Red, Momma 7 p.m.; Detroit Masonic Temple Library, 500 Temple St, Detroit; $25-$150.

Travis Porter Roscoe Dash and F.L.Y. -The Bring It Back Tour 8 p.m.; Sound Board, 2901 Grand River Ave., Detroit; $40-$53.

Friday, May 3

3 Tributes: Alice Cooper, Bad Company, Pat Benatar 7:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $15-$120.

Belle and Sebastian, The Weather Station 7 p.m.; Royal Oak Music Theatre, 318 W. Fourth St., Royal Oak; $39.50-$64.50

Bob Anderson 8 p.m.; Andiamo Celebrity Showroom, 7096 E. 14 Mile Rd.,

Warren; $35-$99.

Eaglemania (the Eagles tribute) 8 p.m.; Flagstar Strand Theatre for the Performing Arts, 12 N. Saginaw St., Pontiac; $25-$55.

Jazz at MacArthur Hall: Roger Jones 7 p.m.; FIM McArthur Recital Hall, 1025 E Kearsley Street, Flint; $8 - $15.

Killing Pixies 8 p.m.; Garden Bowl Lounge, 4120 Woodward Avenue, Detroit; no cover.

Madison Beer, Charlotte Lawrence 6:30 p.m.; The Fillmore, 2115 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $35.50-$70.50.

June Star, The Darkness Brothers 7 p.m.; Lager House, 1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit; $10.

Rosie Tucker 8 p.m.; The Shelter, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $20.

Two Way Petting Zoo, In A Daydream, Grey Gardens, Cedar Bend 6 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $18.

Tyler Braden 7 p.m.; District 142, 142 Maple St., Wyandotte; $15.

Vexatious, Backbiter, Barefaced, Luck Runs Out 6 p.m.; Pike Room, 1 S. Saginaw, Pontiac; $15.

DJ/Dance

Zingara, Sharlitz Web, Gardella, KNGHT 9 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $18.75-$30.

Saturday, May 4

Completely Unchained (The Ultimate Tribute to Van Halen) 7:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $10-$100.

Detroit Anarchy V Punk Rock Festival 7 p.m.; Lager House, 1254 Michigan Ave., Detroit; $10-$15.

Drake White 7 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $25.

Freddie Jackson, Regina Bell 8 p.m.; The Music Hall, 350 Madison Ave., Detroit; $30-$65.

Ironing, Pure Rave, Mezzanine Swimmers, DJ Princess Mothmothymothmoth 7 p.m.; Donovan’s, 3003 W. Vernor Hwy., Detroit; $10.

Joe Jack Talcum (The Dead Milkmen), The Idiot Kids, The Lily Livers 7 p.m.; Small’s, 10339 Conant St., Hamtramck; $10. Teenage Fanclub, Sweet Baboo 7 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $30.

Shawn Colvin & KT Tunstall:

Together Onstage 8 p.m.; Flagstar Strand Theatre for the Performing Arts, 12 N. Saginaw St., Pontiac; $35-$65.

Smoke Jones 7:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m.; Cliff Bell’s, 2030 Park Ave., Detroit; $25.

Talk Derby to Me featuring Hannah Ellis, Louie Lee 5 p.m.; Diamondback Music Hall, 49345 S. Interstate 94 Service Dr., Belleville; $20.

Temple of Void, Tombstoner, Obscene, Jesus Wept 7 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $18.

Tino G’s Dumpster Machine, Robb’s Records 8 p.m.; Bowlero Lanes & Lounge, 4209 Coolidge Hwy., Royal Oak; no cover.

Yot Club, Boyscott 7:30 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $23-$58.

DJ/Dance

2024 Detroit Kentucky Derby Day Party May 4, 4-10 pm; Marygrove Conservancy, 8425 W McNicholas, Detroit; $70 GA $140 VIP.

WOOLI, Ghengar, Dr. Ushuu b2b Hukae, Nothingxhurts, Bongo b2b Freesbass, 3den Dubz 8 p.m.; Russell Industrial Complex-Exhibition Center, 1600 Clay St., Detroit; $40. Sunday, May 5

Black Veil Brides, Ghostkid, Creeper, Dark Divine 6 p.m.; Royal Oak Music Theatre, 318 W. Fourth St., Royal Oak; $35-$64.50.

Experience Selena(tribute) 6 p.m.; Diamondback Music Hall, 49345 S. Interstate 94 Service Dr., Belleville; $29.50. Hot Water Music, Quicksand, Off with Their Heads 7 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $33.

The Iron Maidens (The World’s Only All Female Tribute to Iron Maiden), Paradise Kitty — All Girls, All Guns N’ Roses 6:30 p.m.; The Token Lounge, 28949 Joy Rd., Westland; $25.

Monday, May 6

The Take 5: All Male Jazz Tribute Hosted by Mike Bonner 7-11 p.m.; Aretha’s Jazz Cafe, 350 Madison St., Detroit; $35.

Decapitated, Septicflesh, Kataklysm, Allegaeon 5:30 p.m.; Saint Andrew’s Hall, 431 E. Congress St., Detroit; $27.50.

Gunna, Flo Milla 8 p.m.; Fox Theatre, 2211 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $40.50$130.50.

DJ/Dance

Adult Skate Night 8:30-11 p.m.; Lexus Velodrome, 601 Mack Ave., Detroit; $5.

Tuesday, May 7

Andrew Cushin, Max Muscato 7 p.m.; The Loving Touch, 22634 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $15.

Daikaiju, The Cult of Spaceskull, Glass Chimera 7 p.m.; Sanctuary Detroit, 2932 Caniff St., Hamtramck; $15. Dustin Kensrue, The Brevet, Brother Bird 6:30 p.m.; Magic Stick, 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; $22.

EXTC: Terry Chambers and Friends 7 p.m.; Magic Bag, 22920 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; $30. Pedro Meadows 6:30-7:30 p.m.; Alpino, 1426 Bagley St, Detroit; $10.

DJ/Dance

B.Y.O.R Bring Your Own Records Night 9 p.m.; The Old Miami, 3930 Cass Ave., Detroit; no cover.

THEATER

Performance

Detroit Repertory Theatre Annabella in July; $25 in advance, $30 general admission; Fridays, Saturdays, 8-10 p.m., Saturdays, 3-5 p.m., and Sundays, 2-4 p.m.

Rosedale Community Players An Inspector Calls by J.B. Priestley; $18; Friday, May 3, 8-10 p.m.; Saturday, May 4, 8-10 p.m.; and Sunday, May 5, 2-4 p.m.

Tipping Point Theatre The Squirrels; $39; Wednesday, May 1, 2 p.m.; Thursday, May 2, 8 p.m.; Friday, May 3, 8 p.m.; Saturday, May 4, 6 p.m.; and Sunday, May 5, 2 p.m.

Musical

Fox Theatre Annie; $30-$65; Friday, May 3, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, May 4, 2:30 & 7:30 p.m.; and Sunday, May 5, 1 & 6:30 p.m.

Meadow Brook Theatre Route 66; $43; Wednesday, May 1, 2 & 8 p.m., Thursday, May 2, 8 p.m.; Friday, May 3, 8 p.m.; Saturday, May 4, 2 & 8 p.m.; and Sunday, May 5, 2 & 6:30 p.m.

Ridgedale Playhouse It Shoulda Been You, a musical by Brian Hargrove; $18-$20; Friday, May 3, 8-10 p.m.; Saturday, May 4, 8-10 p.m.; and Sunday, May 5, 2-4 p.m.

Performance art

They Say The Murder Mystery Company Presents: Death of a Gangster; $59; Friday, May 3, 7-9:30 p.m.

metrotimes.com | May 1-7, 2024 25

COMEDY

Improv

Go Comedy! Improv Theater Pandemonia The All-Star Showdown; $25; Fridays, Saturdays; 8 p.m.

Stand-up

Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle Joe Machi; $15; Thursday, May 2, 7:30 p.m.; Friday, May 3; 7:15 p.m. and 9:45 p.m.; Saturday, May 4; 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m.

The Independent Comedy Club at Planet Ant Tonight vs Everybody: Open Mic Comedy; $5 suggested donation; Fridays, Saturdays; 8:30 p.m.

The Congregation Detroit Comedy at the Congregation; 7 p.m.; $15-$20.

DANCE

Dance performance

The Andy Fragments in Order by Lena Granger; $25; Saturday, May 4, 7-9 p.m.

FILM

Screening

Longway Planetarium Through the Looking Glass: A Discussion of the Art of Microscopy; $8; first Friday of every month, 6-7 p.m.

ARTS

Artist talk

Learn to Draw Comics with a REAL Marvel Illustrator Jerry DeCaire, artist and illustrator for Marvel’s Deadpool, Thor, Wolverine, Hawkeye and more, will be conducting a live-drawing performance for attendees. This event is for children and teens in grades 4-12. Thursday, May 2, 6-7:30 p.m.; Milford Public Library, 330 Family Dr., Milford; no cover.

Art exhibition

Annex Gallery Anthropocene Transmissions, an art exhibit reflecting on the nuclear power/weapons industries. This show willl simultaneously feature a solo exhibit by Marat Paransky, with objects and images created since 2010, as well as an invitational, group show of new works by 19 Detroit-area artists and makers. Through May 19. Opening reception is on Saturday, May 4th, from 4-7 p.m.

Lawrence Technological University SHOW LTU 2024 spotlights the future of architecture and design with more than 150 original works by graduating students as well as work of alumni of Lawrence Technological University’s Col-

lege of Architecture and Design. Opens to the public 6-9 p.m. on Thursday, May 2 at Building 3, College of Architecture and Design at LTU, 21000 West 10 Mile Rd., Southfield. Special guest lecture and book signing by internationally renowned Architect Thom Mayne at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, May 2. No cover.

Continuing This Week Art Exhibition

Museum of Contemporary Art Detroit (MOCAD) MOCAD Annual Teen Art Exhibition: SELFish. No cover.

PARC Art Gallery The Nature of Art Exhibit; no cover; through May 6.

WELLNESS

Self-care

Day of Mindfulness Sunday, May 5, 10 a.m.-4 p.m.; Earthwell Retreat Center, 18580 Grass Lake Rd., Manchester; $35$75; earthwellretreat.com/day-of-mindfulness-meditation.

Learn the Diamond Approach –a practical, spiritual course of study Wednesday, May 1, 6-7:30 p.m. and Saturday May 4, 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m.; diamondworkmichigan.org/events.

LITERARY EVENT

Books

Detroit Public Library — Main Branch Tracie McMillan: The White Bonus; Tuesday, May 7, 6 p.m.

MISC.

Convention

Auburn Hills Marriott Babies & Bumps Detroit with expert-led seminars, skill-building demonstrations, shopping, complimentary activities, and giveaways galore; $25-$50; Sunday, May 5, 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

Grosse Pointe War Memorial How to Make a Butterfly Garden; $10; Thursday May 2, 7 p.m.

Food

SPORTS

Baseball

Comerica Park Detroit Tigers vs. St. Louis Cardinals; Wednesday; May 1, 1:10 p.m.

Wrestling

Big Pink Lucha Boom! Libre; Friday May 3, 6 p.m.

1-7, 2024 | metrotimes.com

Five questions with Joe Jack Talcum

Mojo Nixon don’t work anywhere anymore, but Philly punk songwriter Joe Jack Talcum of Dead Milkmen fame, who helped bring Mr. Nixon to wider acclaim, still tours and will be sliding into Small’s on a smoked banana peel May 4. We asked Joe a few hard-hitting questions, and he was bitchin’ enough to answer.

—Jimmy Doom

1. If you could remove one thing from the world, tangible or intangible, wrap it up and permanently eject it from society, what would it be?

Toenail clippings. It if was up to me, toenail clippings would dissolve into the air the instant you clipped them. I have nothing against toenails. It’s just the clippings that bother me.

2. If you could add more of one existing thing to the world, what would it be? Here’s the catch: You can’t say “love,” you can’t say “tolerance.” Anything but those two things. And cicadas. You can’t say cicadas. Silence. We need more of that in our noisy world. One thing I love about shopping at Aldi is that they don’t play any music over the loudspeakers. It’s a relatively quiet shopping

experience. And it’s rather relaxing. We could use more of that.

3. You draw. Obviously you can draw whomever or whatever you damn well please. But who would you like to have sit in a room across from you while you drew them?

Just about anyone really. But, if I have to be specific, I’d choose Montana Jordan.

4. Say you’re on a 415-date global tour and your roommate has to be from the animal kingdom. They’re not selling merch or anything, just keeping you company. What creature do you choose? Cat.

5. Someone sculpts you on the side of a mountain to start a four-person Rushmore-esque monument. You have no choice. You’re already up there. What other three people would you want carved in that mountain with you?

Rodney, Dan, and Dean.

Joe Jack Talcum performs with the Idiot Kids and the Lily Livers on Saturday, May 4 at Small’s; 10339 Conant St., Hamtramck; smallsbardetroit.com. Doors at 7 p.m. Tickets are $10.

26 May
Joe Jack Talcum of the Dead Milkmen COURTESY PHOTO
metrotimes.com | May 1-7, 2024 27
metrotimes.com | May 1-7, 2024 29

FOOD

Bites

Side Hustle Lounge opens

Earlier this year, Detroit’s Mootz Pizzeria + Bar announced a big expansion with the opening of its new cocktail lounge “Bar Mootz.” Ahead of this week’s NFL Draft, the new space is now open, but with a different name.

Dubbed “Side Hustle Lounge,” the new space offers a menu of cocktails and small plates with Italian and Latin influences, curated by executive chef Angela Georges. Food items include flatbreads, sautéed shrimp, beef empanadas, and charcuterie boards.

“Our menu reflects a fusion of bold spices, fresh ingredients, and a nod to rich culinary traditions,” Georges said in a press release. “Each dish and cocktail is designed to take our guests on a memorable and flavorful journey, where we aim to create a lasting impression.”

The venue, designed by Northvillebased architect Carmine Martone and constructed by St. Clair Shoresbased Columbia Construction, offers a mid-century modern vibe with art by Detroit muralist Ghostbeard. The 4,000-square-foot space seats up to 60 guests with an 11-seat bar, a 25-seat lounge, and a 24-seat outdoor patio.

“Side Hustle Lounge fills an exciting niche in today’s vibrant Detroit dining scene, enhancing the offerings of our neighboring establishments while building upon the experience we’ve cultivated at Mootz,” Lisa Walters, operating partner of Side Hustle Lounge and Mootz Pizzeria + Bar, said. “Our new venue promises to infuse a fresh energy into Detroit’s culinary landscape, conveniently located within walking distance of some of the city’s most iconic venues and destinations.”

Side Hustle Lounge is now accepting reservations for private events. Hours of operation are from 4 p.m.-12 a.m. every day, and it’s located at 1230 Library St., Detroit.

More information is available at mootzpizzeria.com or follow @sidehustledetroit on Instagram.

Bombshell Treat Bar opens in Berkley

Berkley’s Bombshell

Treat Bar has opened for business.

The new ice cream spot held its grand opening earlier this month.

It’s located at 2688 Coolidge Hwy.

“Opening a reimagined ice cream store has been a dream of mine,” says owner Jill Kasle. “Ice cream has a way of always making people smile. It is also a surefire way to bring a community together. We’re so thankful for the support we’ve received over the last few years of pop-ups and private catering. We can’t wait to offer our homespun ice cream and treats in this new capacity. The city of Berkley has been so kind,

Apotheculture Club has free tickets for formerly incarcerated ‘cannabis enthusiasts’

Detroit-born Apotheculture Club, known for its cannabis-infused dining and music experiences, has three free tickets to give away for their event, The Vixen in Detroit, on Friday, May 17.

Since its founding in March 2023, the club has promoted a positive culture around the legal consumption of cannabis. To aid its mission of inclusivity, it’s offering free tickets to individuals who were formerly incarcerated because of cannabis prohibition.

“We talk openly about cannabis progress at our events nationwide, so I had the idea to invite our members to sponsor a future seat at the table for someone who was directly impacted by early bans of the plant,” Apotheculture Club co-founder and CEO James Blaszko says. “One of our members shared that he had been formerly incarcerated for cannabisrelated charges himself, and after he sponsored a seat at our January event, several other members came forward to do the same this May.”

welcoming and supportive — we’re so thrilled that our journey has landed in this part of town.”

The 2,200-square foot space will offer soft serve ice cream, dipped bars, floats, hot pretzels, grab-n-go “packed pints,” ice cream cakes, salt and pepper caramel corn, novelty candy, and other sweet treats.

Owned and operated by Kasle and her husband Matt, the business got its start as an ice cream cart in 2020.

The brick and mortar location features a mural by the Motown Sign Co. saying “Life is Sweeter in Berkley,” while the space was designed by McIntosh Poris Architects and Unsold Studio.

The business will be open six days a week, from noon-8 p.m. TuesdayThursday, noon-9 p.m. Friday-Saturday, and noon-7 p.m. on Sunday.

—Lee DeVito

The club’s signature experience includes a multi-course cannabisinfused meal at a private residence, transportation to a local theater where members attend a live performance in exclusive seats, and transportation back from the theater after the performance.

The upcoming event will include a cannabis-infused BBQ by Chef Artist J and Chef Amy Hang alongside Detroit Opera’s performance of The Cunning Little Vixen. Mingling will begin at 5 p.m. at the club’s private residence, with dinner at 5:30 p.m. and a return to the private residence from the theater at 9:30 p.m. for dessert.

“System-impacted cannabis enthusiasts” can contact the club directly for tickets and future perks through direct message on Instagram @apothecultureclub or via email at apothecultureclub@gmail.com.

Regular-priced tickets to the event can be purchased for $200 on Eventbrite.

—Layla McMurtrie

30 May 1-7, 2024 | metrotimes.com
Side Hustle Lounge is now open. COURTESY PHOTO
32 May 1-7, 2024 | metrotimes.com
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CULTURE

A real gem

Tiff Massey pays homage to Detroit’s Black culture and style in upcoming DIA exhibit

At her first Detroit Institute of Arts exhibit, interdisciplinary artist and metalsmith Tiff Massey is shining with Detroit spirit. Titled 7 Mile + Livernois, the show highlights “Black Detroit” through large, “in your face” sculptures.

“It’s the most ambitious exhibition that I’ve created to date,” Massey says. “I came to seduce and to make you question why these objects exist.”

As one of few Black women in the nation holding a Master of Fine Arts in metal smithing, Massey’s work is about more than just craftsmanship. It sparks conversation and contemplation. Inspired by adornment, she crafts installations, public art, and wearable sculptures to honor Detroit’s evolving communities and the deep-rooted history of West African and Black American culture and style.

7 Mile + Livernois specifically honors the Detroit neighborhood where Massey grew up, which is at the heart of the city’s Black business and fashion district, often referred to as the “Avenue of Fashion.” The show explores themes

of identity and self-adornment, speaking to the stories of local Black girls’ early connection to jewelry.

“I wanted people to understand what I’m always gonna represent and that is Detroit,” Massey says. “People grow up all over Detroit, but I’m really trying to hone in on the specificity, the fashion, the drip, the neighborhood, paying homage to the Detroit that I know… Seven Mile and Livernois is home for me.”

She adds, “[The show] is really about how Detroiters adorn themselves. I have an extensive jewelry background and so just thinking about what objects we put on our body is something that I’ve thought about all throughout my art practice. Just stepping outside, you never know what type of fashion you’re going to see.”

As an artist from Detroit who makes art about its people and culture, Massey feels that being highlighted at the city’s primary art museum, one of the biggest in the nation, is significant.

“I’m a living artist and I am from the landscape,” she says. “It’s always impor-

tant to acknowledge what talent you actually have surrounding you and nine times out of 10, a lot of the institutions do not do this, and so I’m definitely appreciative of the platform and the opportunity to show what Detroiters can do.”

Ahead of the upcoming exhibition, Massey anticipates the interest of art lovers, but her true hope is to draw in those less familiar with art to expand their perspectives. She’s unsure of how she wants her pieces to make people feel, but describes the show as an “exhibition of love,” with hopes that viewers connect with the work and share their thoughts with her afterward.

Looking forward, Massey plans to open her own community art center in the Seven Mile and Livernois area. She says it may be a while since “construction takes so long in the city,” but plans for the space are in the works.

Mainly, she wants to bring elements of her art practice to a physical location, not just the actual pieces, but the ideas behind them such as community engagement and public spaces. The art-

ist feels that while the Avenue of Fashion has been getting more attention recently, it’s not getting as many resources as some larger “gentrified” areas of the city, so she wants to help fill that gap.

In the process, she ponders questions like: “What are the moods that are being created when we walk into a space?” “Who’s actually being invited because of the design of a space?” “Who’s being excluded?”

“How long are we just gonna keep forgetting about the hood?” she says. “We’ve seen design-oriented plans exhibited here in the city, so I’m just like, I think we could do this differently.”

Highlighting that Detroit was the first in the nation to be designated a “City of Design”by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO), Massey feels that overall, the city and the people in it need to give themselves more credit.

She’s already ready for the next step.

“I’m ambitious. I’m always thinking how I can do things bigger than what I’ve done,” Massey says. “Detroit gets a lot of shade for a lot of things and we have talent in spades here, I think it’s really something in the water, and I just want people to have respect on our name, mine and Detroit’s.”

7 Mile + Livernois opens Sunday, May 5; The Detroit Institute of Arts, 5200 Woodward Ave., Detroit; dia.org. Show runs through May 11, 2025.

34 May 1-7, 2024 | metrotimes.com
Tiff Massey creates installations, public art, and wearable sculptures inspired by adornment. JUSTIN MILHOUSE

CULTURE

Savage Love Quickies

: Q I’m a 53-year-old straight woman. I’ve been talking with a guy online for three years — text, voice, video. I am in love with him. He is my daily companion and he says he loves me. He lives 269 miles away. He doesn’t want to meet me, although he isn’t married, and lives alone. I’ve tried going out with other people, but I am stuck on him. I definitely want more. Do I leave him or keep trying?

A: Can you leave someone you’ve never met? I’m not sure — but you can do the next best thing(s): you can block his number, you can block him on your socials, you can block his email address.

: Q I have a disgusting and embarrassing problem. I have chronic IBS, and every time my husband and I want to have PIV doggy-style, my butt smells and he loses his erection. I know: cringe. I have tried a number of things: changes to my diet; a treatment for SIBO; a colonoscopy/endoscopy; even using a bidet. Nothing has helped. The gastroenterologist proposed not having doggy-style sex, but that’s my favorite position! Please help.

A: You’ve tried everything — including a bidet (a sign of true desperation) and nothing has worked. So, maybe it’s time to think outside the healthcare/ health interventions box. My suggestion: get your husband a rubber hood and gasmask with a long breathing tube hell, get his & hers rubber gimp suits and masks and your husband can fling his breathing tube over his shoulder or get a longer one that runs down to the floor. You won’t be able to have doggy-style sex spontaneously if you need to get dress in full rubber before you get started — but it’s your favorite position, so why not make it an occasion?

: Q I’m in love with my sex worker. Can it ever be more than it is?

A: It could — if the feelings are mutual and you’re not one of those guys who wants “his” sex worker to stop seeing other clients. You’re dating her, not taking possession of her.

: Q How to survive going long-distance — suddenly and temporarily — at the beginning of a relationship?

A: Lean into the big dirties dirty texts, dirty pics, dirty video chats and give DADT a chance.

: Q Recommendations for other sex advice columnists with a female perspective? I’ve been reading your stuff for years, lots of value, but I need a fresh perspective and I know my specific questions would piss you off and I wouldn’t get good advice. The outline is that I, a cishet woman in her late thirties, have recently concluded that I don’t LIKE men. At all. I’m also still a virgin. I don’t know where this leaves me. I’m not asexual. The idea of fucking a stranger literally makes me feel ill with anxiety. But I don’t want to build “an emotional connection” with a man. Too much bitterness and mistrust. So, anyone you’d care to pawn me and my problems off on?

A: My recommendations: Lori Gottlieb, Carolyn Hax, Damona Hoffman, E. Jean Carroll, Xaviera Hollander, and still, always, forever — Judith “Miss Manners” Martin.

: Q Please share these pronouns with your readers, listeners, and followers: She/He/Shay; Her/Him/Shem; Hers/ His/Shems; Herself/Himself/Shemself. My thought is that these gender-free pronouns could be used rather than using plural pronouns. They could ultimately replace gendered pronouns for everyone. Thank you for sharing these gender-free pronouns with the world!

A: Shou’re welcome?

P.S. The supply of gender-free/ gender-neutral pronoun options is outstripping demand: we’ve already got ve/ver/verself, xe/xem/xemself, per/ per/perself, fae/faer/faerself, ze/zir/ zirself, to say nothing of neoproouns that are impossible to conjugate (or take seriously), and only “they/them” is in wide use. And people who prefer gender-neutral pronouns seem to have settled on they/them/themself not despite its association with a plural meaning, but because of it. (“I contain multitudes, bitches!”) Anyway, tossing your idea out there, per your request.

P.S. “Your” is a pronoun that can mean just one person or a group of people — so, wrapping our heads around singular and plural meanings of “they” doesn’t seem like an impossible task.

: Q What do you call a sibling’s child who uses they/them pronouns? MerriamWebster is musing about nibling, which feels weird but might be the answer.

A: If “nibling” weirds you out — perhaps due to its homophone (“nibbling: to bite gently; to eat or chew in small bits”) — you could go with the gender neutral expression my aunts and uncles used when referring to me and my siblings and our dozens of cousins: “that little shit/those little shits/you little shits.”

: Q I’m with someone who cannot take even the slightest bit of criticism. If I say, “I’d like if you consult my schedule first,” or, “Can you do that more slowly” — or faster, or to the left, or whatever it might be — he melts down and acts like he’s a total failure, everything is over, etc. I try to be incredibly gentle with anything I say, but he’s so sensitive we can’t really talk about anything at all. And of course, if I were to say that to him, he’d have a breakdown. How do I walk around these landmines?

A: A partner who can’t take gentle criticism without having a self-lacerating meltdown may be less terrifying than a partner who flies into a rage at the slightest criticism, but in both cases the goal (conscious or subconscious) is the same: to reduce their partners to nervous wrecks. Meltdowners and ragers alike want their partners walking on eggshells at all times in a desperate and futile effort to avoid setting them off. You can stay with a pathetic meltdown type — someone like your partner — on the condition they get 1. professional help and 2. a grip. But those more dangerous and damaging ragers won’t seek help until they’ve been dumped for the hundredth time.

: Q My lover and I have a weird push/ pull dynamic. He reaches out for me — he texts a lot — and if I don’t respond right away he keeps texting these very sweet, very sincere messages about how concerned he is about me. But once I get back to him, I can’t get him to talk about anything going on with him. He’s great at listening, not so great at talking. I tell him everything, but I know next to nothing about what’s going on with him, despite my questions about his life. What can I do to get him to open up?

A: No clue.

: Q I’m a bi AMAB 26-year-old enby who moved back in with my verbally abusive mom after college. Things with her came to a boiling point, so I moved in with my partner of six months. They’re 100% supportive and caring,

but I’m worried about putting too much pressure on our new relationship. It’s the best relationship I’ve ever been in, and I don’t wanna ruin it, but I can’t afford my own place and I can’t move back in with my mom. What do I do?

A: Six months is too soon to move in with a new partner — but what other choice do you have? If there are no sublets or roommate situations you can afford in your area and you can’t move home, you’ll have to accept your new partner’s generosity. Find ways to take the pressure off by spending time with other friends, giving your partner plenty of space and plenty of head.

: Q Me and my wife are in this cycle where the sex drops off from once a week to once a month due to her not feeling sexy due to body image issues. We talk, I reassure her, we go back to having sex once a week, and then the cycle repeats. Any advice on how to break the cycle?

A: If body image is the issue, offer regular reassurance — not just when the sex drops off —and make sure your wife has time for solo activities that make her feel comfortable in her own skin. And broadening your definition of sex to include non-PIV options and/ or asking your wife to help you have a wank once in a while (without any pressure to upgrade to intercourse) and/or offering to go down on your wife (ditto) might also help.

: Q I hooked up during a lunch break. While I was sucking on a dude’s titties with his encouragement, he started sucking on my neck. I shook him off as soon as I realized what he was doing, but an hour later my office bathroom mirror revealed a prominent hickey. This is a major party foul, right? Like, a borderline consent violation? How pissed at this random dude do I have a right to be?

A: I’m reluctant to slap the “consent violation” label on this — no need to get the authorities involved — but giving an adult a hickey is inconsiderate and juvenile, and you have every right to be pissed.

: Q How to get over feeling self-conscious about poop during anal when my partner doesn’t care?

A: It’s a butt — as I’m sure you’re aware — and regular butt stuff (it’s an exit) sometimes derails irregular butt stuff (it’s an entry). Take fiber supplements, douche, only have anal when you feel like you’re good to go, and if the worst should happen… jump in the shower and pivot to something else.

36 May 1-7, 2024 | metrotimes.com

: Q Best way to loosen tight ass for anal?

A: Poop may be its biggest PR problem, but tension is the real enemy of anal sex. So, before you engage in anal penetration, experiment with anal stimulation — that is, anal play that doesn’t involve anything going into your ass. Lubed up fingers slipping around, not in; having your ass eaten, not fucked; placing a vibrator on your hole, not inserting it. Have a few dozen orgasms during this kind of anal play will create a powerful association between anal stimulation and pleasure, decreasing anxiety and tension (which tightens you up), while ramping up anticipation and desire (which opens you up). Good luck!

: Q Do you think masc/masc is a toxic gay identity?

A: Not necessarily. Some masc guys gay and straight — are insecure and overcompensating assholes, of course, but a masculine gender presentation isn’t always an act and it’s rarely an attack on anyone else. Just as femme can be a guy’s authentic gender expression, masc can be a guy’s authentic gender expression; just as someone can be genuinely attracted to femme-presenting partners, someone can be genuinely attracted to masc-presenting partners.

: Q Have you ever ejaculated handsfree?

A: Unless you’re talking nocturnal emissions, hands-free orgasms are rarely stim-free orgasms. They typically come after a lot of edging, build up, and play; some dude gets himself close to the point of orgasmic inevitability — using his hands — and then another dude fucks him right over the edge. And yes, I have.

: Q We need your reaction to the 20-person-polycule article in the New York Times! Be sure to read the comments!

A: The comments are judgmental and dismissive, which I have to say seems foolish and shortsighted on the part of the people who made those comments. Considering the rate at which that Boston polycule is expanding — it seems to be growing exponentially — everyone on earth is going to be assimilated before the end of the year. The poly-processing sessions are gonna be epic!

P.S. Someone needs to remake Invasion of the Body Snatchers with a polycule absorbing all of humanity instead of sinister pods absorbing all of humanity. Seems like the kind of project Ben Shapiro’s movie studio could get behind.

: Q Just opening up our relationship! Any advice?

A: Take copious notes for your inevitable memoir.

: Q What are Terry’s thoughts on the new Taylor Swift album?

A: “It’s very long,” said Terry. “I wish pop stars had editors.”

: Q Why doesn’t my boyfriend want me to see his butthole? We’ve been in a relationship for almost ten years.

A: He’s not ready to introduce you to his parasitic twin.

: Q ’m bored with my sexual interests. How do I find something new?

A: Some people like to try new things for the sake of trying new things and the novelty is the turn-on. If you’re one of those people, you can find new things to try watching porn, reading erotica, or by making a list of things you haven’t done. But for the best results — positive experiences, endorphin rushes, hands-free orgasms — think about your existing sexual interests and play or kinks that would be a natural extension of them. If you like being held down, try bondage; if you like having your ass slapped, try impact play; if you like having sex someplace you might get caught, try having sex someplace you’ll definitely get “caught,” e.g., a sex club, a swingers’ party, a baptism, etc.

: Q Your best idea for non-sexual intimacy?

A: Find those small, doable things that don’t allow for conversation but don’t require it and do it every day. For instance, I get up first and have breakfast. When Terry comes down, he makes coffee and as soon as he sits down, I get up and make him eggs. Sometimes we sit in silence (on our phones), sometimes we sit and talk (half on our phones). So, find something small you can do for your partner on a daily basis — or partners, if you’re in that 20-person polycule I read about in the NYT — and do it every damn day.

: Q Cunnilingus tips?

A: Twenty percent for good service, twenty-five percent for excellent service.

Got problems? Yes, you do. Send your question to mailbox@savage.love! Podcasts, columns, and more at Savage. Love.

metrotimes.com | May 1-7, 2024 37

CULTURE

Free Will Astrology

ARIES: March 21 – April 19

The world’s record for jumping rope in six inches of mud is held by an Aries. Are you surprised? I’m not. So is the world’s record for consecutive wallops administered to a plastic inflatable punching doll. Other top accomplishments performed by Aries people: longest distance walking on one’s hands, number of curse words uttered in two minutes, and most push-ups with three bulldogs sitting on one’s back. As impressive as these feats are, I hope you will channel your drive for excellence in more constructive directions during the coming weeks. Astrologically speaking, you are primed to be a star wherever you focus your ambition on highminded goals. Be as intense as you want to be while having maximum fun giving your best gifts.

TAURUS: April 20 – May 20

I don’t casually invoke the terms “marvels,” “splendors,” and “miracles.”

Though I am a mystic, I also place a high value on rational thinking and skeptical proof. If someone tells me a marvel, splendor, or miracle has occurred, I will thoroughly analyze the evidence. Having said that, though, I want you to know that during the coming weeks, marvels, splendors, and miracles are far more likely than usual to occur in your vicinity — even more so if you have faith that they will. I will make a similar prediction about magnificence, sublimity, and resplendence. They are headed your way. Are you ready for blessed excess? For best results, welcome them all generously and share them lavishly.

GEMINI: May 21 – June 20

In accordance with astrological omens, I recommend you enjoy a celebratory purge sometime soon. You could call it a Cleansing Jubilee, or a Gleeful Festival of Purification, or a Jamboree of Cathartic Healing. This would be a fun holiday that lasted for at least a day and maybe as long as two weeks. During this liberating revel, you would discard anything associated with histories you want to stop repeating. You’d get rid of garbage and excess. You may even thrive by jettisoning perfectly good stuff that you no longer have any use for.

CANCER: June 21 – July 22

Graduation day will soon arrive. Congrats, Cancerian! You have mostly excelled in navigating through a labyrinthine system that once upon a time discombobulated you. With panache and skill, you have wrangled chaos into submission and gathered a useful set of resources. So are you ready to welcome your big rewards? Prepared to collect your graduation presents? I hope so. Don’t allow lingering fears of success to cheat you out of your well-deserved harvest. Don’t let shyness prevent you from beaming like a champion in the winner’s circle. P.S.: I encourage you to meditate on the likelihood that your new bounty will transform your life almost as much as did your struggle to earn it.

LEO: July 23 – August 22

Ritualist and author Sobonfu Somé was born in Burkina Faso but spent many years teaching around the world. According to her philosophy, we should periodically ask ourselves two questions: 1. “What masks have been imposed on us by our culture and loved ones?” 2. “What masks have we chosen

for ourselves to wear?” According to my astrological projections, the coming months will be an excellent time for you to ruminate on these inquiries — and take action in response. Are you willing to remove your disguises to reveal the hidden or unappreciated beauty that lies beneath? Can you visualize how your life may change if you will intensify your devotion to expressing your deepest, most authentic self?

VIRGO: August 23 – Sept. 22

If human culture were organized according to my principles, there would be over eight billion religions — one for every person alive. Eight billion altars. Eight billion saviors. If anyone wanted to enlist priestesses, gurus, and other spiritual intermediaries to help them out in their worship, they would be encouraged. And we would all borrow beliefs and rituals from each other. There would be an extensive trade of clues and tricks about the art of achieving ecstatic union with the Great Mystery. I bring this up, Virgo, because the coming weeks will be an ideal time for you to craft your own personalized and idiosyncratic religious path.

LIBRA: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22

Hidden agendas and simmering secrets will soon leak into view. Intimate mysteries will become even more intimate and more mysterious. Questions that have been half-suppressed will become pressing and productive. Can you handle this much intrigue, Libra? Are you willing to wander through the amazing maze of emotional teases to gather clues about the provocative riddles? I think you will have the poise and grace to do these things. If I’m right, you can expect deep revelations to appear and long-lost connections to re-emerge. Intriguing new connections are also possible. Be on high alert for subtle revelations and nuanced intuitions.

SCORPIO: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21:

It’s fun and easy to love people for their magnificent qualities and the pleasure you feel when they’re nice to you. What’s more challenging is to love the way they disappoint you. Now pause a moment and make sure you register what I just said. I didn’t assert that you should love them even if they disappoint you. Rather, I invited you to love them BECAUSE they disappoint you. In other words, use your disappointment to expand your understanding of who they really are, and thereby develop a more inclusive and realistic love for them. Regard your disappointment as an opportunity to deepen your compassion — and as a motivation to become wiser and more patient. (P.S.: In general, now is a time

when so-called “negative” feelings can lead to creative breakthroughs and a deepening of love.)

SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21

I assure you that you don’t need “allies” who encourage you to indulge in delusions or excesses. Nor do I recommend that you seek counsel from people who think you’re perfect. But you could benefit from colleagues who offer you judicious feedback. Do you know any respectful and perceptive observers who can provide advice about possible course corrections you could make? If not, I will fill the role as best as I can. Here’s one suggestion: Consider phasing out a mild pleasure and a small goal so you can better pursue an extra fine pleasure and a major goal.

CAPRICORN: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19

I invite you to take an inventory of what gives you pleasure, bliss, and rapture. It’s an excellent time to identify the thrills that you love most. When you have made a master list of the fun and games that enhance your intelligence and drive you half-wild with joy, devise a master plan to ensure you will experience them as much as you need to — not just in the coming weeks, but forever. As you do, experiment with this theory: By stimulating delight and glee, you boost your physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

AQUARIUS: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18

Aquarian author Lewis Carroll said, “You know what the issue is with this world? Everyone wants some magical solution to their problem, and everyone refuses to believe in magic.” In my astrological opinion, this won’t be an operative theme for you in the coming weeks, Aquarius. I suspect you will be inclined to believe fervently in magic, which will ensure that you attract and create a magical solution to at least one of your problems — and probably more.

PISCES: Feb.19 – March 20

Which would you prefer in the coming weeks: lots of itches, prickles, twitches, and stings? Or, instead, lots of tingles, quivers, shimmers, and soothings? To ensure the latter types of experiences predominate, all you need to do is cultivate moods of surrender, relaxation, welcome, and forgiveness. You will be plagued with the aggravating sensations only if you resist, hinder, impede, and engage in combat. Your assignment is to explore new frontiers of elegant and graceful receptivity.

Homework: Tell yourself the truth about something you have not been fully honest about.

38 May 1-7, 2024 | metrotimes.com
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INTERNET SPECTRUM INTERNET AS LOW AS $29.99

Call to see if you qualify for ACP and free internet. No Credit Check. Call Now! 833-955-0905.

HOME IMPROVEMENT

BCI - WALK-IN TUBS ON SALE

BCI Walk In Tubs are now on SALE! Be one of the first 50 callers and save $1,500! CALL 844-514-0123 for a free in-home consultation.

AUTOMOTIVE CASH FOR CARS

We buy all cars! Junk, high-end, totaled – it doesn’t matter! Get free towing and same day cash! NEWER MODELS too! 1-866-535-9689

CABLE CABLE PRICE INCREASE AGAIN?

Switch To DIRECTV & Save + get a $100 visa gift card! Get More Channels For Less Money.Restrictions apply. Call Now! 877-693-0625

ADULT

ADULT ENTERTAINMENT HIRING SEXY WOMEN!!!

Hiring sexy women (& men). Highly Paid Magazine, Web, and Movie/TV work. no experience needed, all sizes accepted. 313-289-2008.

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