The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine - April 2018 by Birdy Publications Ltd

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The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine - April 2018

Editor’s Note Finally, we’ve made it through the dark days and the wet weather! Did you know that it is thought that the word ‘April’ comes from a Latin word meaning ‘to open’. That seems pretty fitting to me... I hope that along with great weather, the month of April opens the doors to great new beginnings! (There’s a clue in that comment! Wink, wink!) If you’ve not yet connected with us online, please do so. There are little snippets of news that come in to us that can be quite different from what you see in the magazine, so log on and pop over to our facebook page: @felixstoweandwoodbridgemag. As always, many thanks to those that contribute to our articles, including the fantastic businesses who make this magazine possible. The people who send in their news and events, as well as our wonderful advertisers and voucher contributors who are always great to work with, and as ever, we have much more content to share with you in the upcoming months. So for now, grab that cuppa you’ve been dying for and enjoy the read!

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Contents Page 4 Book Launch

Page 22-23 Local Theatre

Page 6-7 Local Photographer Paul Causon

Page 25 Recipe

Page 8-9 Photo of the month Page 10-11 Local Photography Page 12-13 In the Garden Page 15-16 Exclusive Offers Page 17 Photography Tips

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Publisher: Birdy Publications Ltd. The views expressed by individuals in any letter or article are included at the discretion of the publishers are not necessarily the views of the Editor or publisher. Whilst every care has been taken in compiling this magazine and the statements contained herein are believed to be correct, the Editor and publishers of this publication will not hold themselves responsible for any inaccuracies. Inclusion of advertisers in this magazine is not necessarily a recommendation but we do hope they give a good quality service. No part of the publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior permission of the publishers and contributors.

Page 18 Basic Life Charity

Page 26 Dinosaur Teeth Page 27-28 Exclusive Offers Page 29 Local Author Annie Thompson Page 31-32 Exclusive Offers Page 33 Local Lad Dean Wales Page 34-37 What’s On Listings

Page 19-20 Exclusive Offers

Page 38-39 Fun page & Competition

Page 21 Town and Around

Page 39 Index

April 2018 - The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine 3

BOOK REVIEW OF GRIEF COTTAGE Do you believe in ghosts? This is what you have to ask yourself while reading Grief Cottage by Gail Godwin. Eleven-year old Marcus, having just lost his mother (and never having known his father), is drawn to the tragedy surrounding the abandoned cottage. The last family who had stayed there disappeared during Hurricane Hazel over 50 years ago and not a trace of them was ever found. Everyone assumed they were washed out to sea, and no one seems to be able to recall their names. His eccentric great Aunt Charlotte, who he has come to live with on a small island in South Carolina, doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know much about them either. She spends most of her time in her studio painting and drinking wine, so she is not a great resource for local legend, even though her depictions of the cottage are her best sellers. However, that summer, Marcus sets out to connect with people who may be able to shed some light on the family. But, the more Marcus finds out, the more he wants to know, especially about the boy. The reason the mother and father were out during the storm was because they were searching for their son, who they assumed had left the house. If only the three had stayed indoors, they most likely would have survived. After all, the cottage was still standing, although barely, all these years later. Marcus makes it a point to solve the mystery and decides to visit the cottage every morning. One day, while he is sitting on the broken-down porch, he realizes someone from inside the house is watching him. Is it the boy? The first time he felt the presence, fear overrode his curiosity and before he could bring himself to turn around and look, he took 4

The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine - April 2018

off running. However, the next time it happened, he was determined to see for himself who was watching him, and when he did, he couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t run away fast enough. So, do you believe in ghosts? And if so, are they friendly or sinister beings? This is something Marcus tries to figure out while unraveling the mystery of Grief Cottage. Gail Godwin is the bestselling author of over a dozen books, and lives in Woodstock, New York, in the USA. Grief Cottage is her latest fictional novel and was released in 2017. To find out more about her and her other works, please visit www.gailgodwin.com Susan Baldani has an MA in Education and a BA in Psychology. She enjoys writing and in addition to writing articles about small town life, is currently working on her second book. You can contact her at suebaldani@yahoo.com, on Twitter @mywritingwall, or through her website at www.mywritingwall.com. Review by Susan Baldani

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LOCAL PHOTOGRAPHER PAUL CAUSON

The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine - April 2018

Images of Felixstowe and afar, from the unique eye of a talented local photographer I’ve lived in Felixstowe for 37 years. My favourite thing about the town is that we have countryside, coastline and our own microclimate - it’s a great place for a photographer to live. I like to take landscape photos, but I’m always in search of something that stands out and looks good - I work at the Leisure Centre and so I’m up and out early - this gives me the opportunity to take sunrise photos. I’m currently training for my second Brighton Marathon and I run early in the morning. As I’ve always got my phone with me, I take advantage of this and capture quite a few photos in the first few hours of the day when I’m running. Over the past few months I’ve tried my hand at wire wool spinning photos, one of which was “photo of the month” in this very magazine (see left middle image). I get inspired by what I see when I’m out and about, whether it’s on my jog, out with my 6-year-old son, walking the dog or sometimes just by viewing content on Instagram! On top of that, I started snowboarding in 2005 and I’ve been filming and regularly producing videos from our holidays. The mountains are stunning places to be and can also offer up amazing opportunities to photograph! Although photography for me is just a hobby, I like the fact that others gain enjoyment from my images and I hope to keep improving and try out more specialist techniques in the future. I’m proud of all of my work, but especially happy that one of my images was chosen for the Town Council website (top right). I’ve also featured in the top ten images of “autumn colours” on Countryfile’s website last year. If people would like to get in touch, they can email me on: constructivefilms@hotmail.co.uk. I’m also on Instagram: www.instagram.com/tallpaulc, or Twitter: @tallpaulc2. This article was sponsored by Kerseys Solicitors www.kerseys.co.uk. Contact Vicki Mead on 01473 407110 or vicki.mead@kerseys.co.uk

April 2018 - The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine 7

PHOTO OF THE MONTH

The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine - April 2018

9 Another beauty by Jason Saddler from Sugar and Spice Photography, well done!

1. By Felixstowe-based Monique Varley-Nan, 2. Fantastic cone by Felixstoweâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Suzy Mason, 4.Fallow deer stags by 4

10 The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine - April 2018

c capture of the crowd at March’s Armed Forces event by Felixstowe lad, Carl Earrye, 3. A frost-bitten y Woodbridge’s John Richardson, 5. Looking up Quay Street by Woodbridge-based, Mike Whitby.

IN APRILâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S GARDEN Many flowers that are used in flower arrangements can be grown from seed. If you would like more flowers in your garden and flowers for inside of your home, why not try using a flower seed mix? With a little effort, you can have flowers for cutting throughout the summer and well into the autumn... Flower seed mixes make economic and aesthetic sense; you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need to buy many packets of seeds and you know that the flower colours will work well together. Choose your seed mix depending on the amount of sunlight in the area that you intend to plant them; many flowers need full sun but there are seed mixes that have been created for partial shade. Flower seed mixes have become more popular and there are now varieties such as meadow flower mixes as well as those that are particularly attractive to butterflies, bees and other wildlife. Prepare the bed/planter by lightly forking over and breaking up any clumps of soil to create a fine tilth. Seed mixes can work well in beds that already have plants in; if this is true of your bed, work carefully around existing plants. Apply a general fertiliser, such as chicken pellets, but check the seed packet first as some mixes thrive on impoverished soil. Scatter the seed mix over the selected area and then firm in using your foot or the palm of your hand. Water carefully with a watering can. Seeds may germinate at different times depending on the type of mix that you are using. Some flowers may require support so keep strong twigs and thin branches from shrub cuttings to use as supports. Feature plant for April: Pulsatilla vulgaris Another favourite, Pulsatilla, also called pasque flower, earns its place in the garden. It has numerous purple flowers in late spring, above the downy, feathery leaves. The flowers then give rise to attractive teasel-like seed pods which are retained on the plant for several months. Good in gravel or sunny beds. Can cope with drought once established. 0.3m height. Happy gardening!

12 The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine - April 2018

April 2018 - The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine 13

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PHOTOGRAPHY BASICS PART 1: COMPOSITION I truly believe there are no set rules to photography, however, there are a number of established composition guidelines which can be applied in almost any situation to enhance the impact of a scene. These guidelines will help you take more compelling photographs, lending them a natural balance, drawing attention to the important parts of the scene, or leading the viewer’s eye through the image.

Shot just facing straigh forward

Once you are familiar with these composition tips, you’ll be surprised at just how universal most of them are. You’ll spot them everywhere, and you’ll find it easy to see why some photos “work” while others feel like simple snapshots. What I would like to do is talk about three that I think are quite important. 1. The rule of thirds: Imagine that your image is divided into 9 equal segments by 2 vertical and 2 horizontal lines. The “rule of thirds says that you should position the most important elements in your scene along these lines, or at the points where they intersect. Doing so will add balance and interest to your photo. By placing the main subject offcentre, (as with the rules of thirds) will create a much more dynamic and interesting looking photo. Such a simple thing to do and it can add so much more to your image. Basically, don’t centre every subject in the middle of the photo. 2. Aspect/Angle: Another really important “aspect” to the photo you’re taking is the viewpoint; the angle of which you are taking the shot. Again, this simple step can add so much more to your scene. Our viewpoint has a massive impact on the composition of our photo, and as a result it can greatly affect the message that the shot conveys. Rather than just shooting from eye level, consider photographing from high above, down at ground level, from the side, from the back, from a long way away, from very close up, and so on. Simply moving the camera from that straight on position will greatly add to your final result.

A simple position change makes a much more dramatic shot 3. What’s behind the main subject in your photo? The final thing I want to talk about when it comes to composition is the background. This is one of the biggest things people do wrong. They don’t consider what is going on behind the main subject. A classic mistake when taking a photo of, say, a person on the street. Simply moving the person a few feet to the left or right can make or break a photo. How many times have you taken what you thought would be a great shot, only to find that the final image lacks impact because the subject blends into a busy background? The human eye is excellent at distinguishing between different elements in a scene, whereas a camera has a tendency to flatten the foreground and background, and this can often ruin an otherwise great photo. Always look around for a plain and unobtrusive background and compose your shot so that it doesn’t distract or detract from the main subject. Sometimes the easiest thing to do is just get closer to the main subject. Let’s remember, that’s what the photo is about. Hopefully these 3 basic steps will help when it comes to the composition of your photograph. There are more, but these three will help you dramatically. Go give them a try. By Alan Boyle April 2018 - The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine 17

BASIC LIFE CHARITY If you’re like us you’ll love April as the month where the long-awaited spring arrives in earnest. Hopefully at the time of reading the March snow will be nothing more than a distant memory. We managed to slip and slide through the icy conditions and kept our pop-up shops running with only one car skidding off the road and colliding with a couple of others! In the last month or so we’ve been fortunate enough to receive a grant from Suffolk Coastal District Council and we’d like to thank Councillors Coleman and Smith for their assistance. The students of Felixstowe International College also made a donation of £500 to us after holding some fund-raising events. We were so impressed, as always, by their polite and caring attitude and they are a credit to Sue Lewis and the teaching team at the college. We were delighted to welcome the High Sheriff of Suffolk, Mr. Geoffrey Probert, to our St.Edmund’s pop-up shop during March. After experiencing the pop-up we took him for a tour of our Walton shop and depot. Mr. Probert was impressed with the range of items we have, both in our shops and online. 18 The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine - April 2018

A regular update from a brilliant local charity, providing financial, practical and general support We noticed in the news recently an article about ‘period poverty’. This explains that many women are unable to afford basic sanitary products and it’s become a real issue in recent years. We’re pleased to say that we always have sanitary products at each of our shops, pop-up shops and they are also available at Level 2. We have been in contact with BOOST at Felixstowe Academy with a view to making sure they are also available free of charge at the school. As you can see the effects of financial strain has become a bigger issue nationwide and sadly also within our town. If you, or somebody you know, is in need please tell them about the pop-up shops and reassure them that we are here to help no matter who they are or whatever their situation. Have a great April!

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Photo by Jason Saddler

FELIXSTOWE TOWN AND AROUND After the snow comes the rain! Oh, for some sunshine! After being “marooned” in my home for four days because of the snow, it was with a sense of freedom that I got into my car after the snow started thawing and took to the road!

Update from Felixstowe’s town councillor

One bit of really good news was the announcement that Felixstowe Museum housed within the environs of Landguard Fort has been named as the Best Small Visitor Attraction. This news broke at an award ceremony promoted by the EADT/ EDP Norfolk and Suffolk Tourism Awards 2018. This is the second prestigious Award for the Museum and is testament to the hard work and dedication of the curator and all the volunteers at the museum. Many congratulations to everyone and let’s hope the public visit in the coming months, not only the museum, but all the wonderful attractions on offer at Landguard Fort.

Highways department to discuss all types of highways problems - traffic lights, potholes, road repairs, resurfacing and drainage to name a few. I attended a recent meeting where an agenda item was about reporting road issues and defects. There are various ways to do this including online, phone and email. The online contact is www.highwaysreporting. suffolk.gov.uk, phone number is 0345 606 6171, email address customer.service@ suffolk.gov.uk. Some of the issues discussed at the meeting included the pothole on the bridge in Mill Lane and indentations in Leopold Road.

SCDC Councillors approved an increase in council tax for the year 2018/19 which will add 10p per week to the current amounts we pay. However, to this has to be added the increases proposed by the county council, police and parish councils so council tax bills will rise for the coming year. I await with bated breath to see how much extra it is going to cost me every month! If you have signed up for the Garden Waste Scheme — and you can do this by visiting customer services in Felixstowe library or phone 01394 383789 — it will cost £1.65 for each fortnightly collection. Having been a free service thus far, charging for this service has not gone down well. However, because the cost of collecting and composting garden waste has risen substantially it has been necessary to introduce the charge. The Town Council has a Highways Advisory Committee where members of the town, district and county council meet with an officer from the County

Forms to enter this year’s Felixstowe in Flower competition are now available from the Town Hall and you can obtain one of these by phoning Sue Faversham on 01394 282086. This competition is open to anyone who wishes to enter and there are some really lovely front gardens around the town in the spring and summer - so do think about entering this year. The gardens are judged by independent judges during July and they really have a hard job choosing gardens from the various categories that are available. These include containers and the use of colour. The hanging baskets and tubs that make the town look so lovely are also available to sponsor and again, speak to Sue for all the details on how to sponsor one or more of these. Happy Easter — fingers crossed it will be a warm one. Doreen Savage April 2018 - The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine 21

THE SPA PAVILION Outrageous hypnotism, dead pan laughs and wholesome family entertainment Panto returns to the Spa Pavilion theatre this Easter holidays with the Wizard of Oz. So click your ruby heels together and join them for a magical adventure performed by the hugely talented Talegate Theatre Company. The company last came to the Spa in October with ‘Harry Panto’ the pop music and magical illusions going down a storm with the family audiences. There are two performances, 2pm on the 6th April and also 6pm with family tickets from just £40 (2 adults, 2 children). Then the late, great George Michael’s music is remembered on Saturday 7th April at 7.30pm with ‘Fast Love’ which promises an unforgettable evening packed with crowd pleasing anthems from the WHAM! classics. Another theatre company, CBM return to the Spa for two days from Friday 13th April with ‘Disney High School Musical’ on stage. Their performance of ‘Avenue Q’ in 2017 brought in huge crowds and this show promises a similar reaction. ‘The Hypnotist Live & Outrageous’ on Friday 20th April is the curious title to Robert Temple’s fast-paced and cutting edge, thrilling show which features some incredible hypnosis from 7.30pm. From the producers of ‘That’ll be the Day’ comes ‘Walk Right Back’ - a brand-new musical on Saturday 21st April at 7.30pm. The show tells the story of the most successful duo of all time – The Everley Brothers, their highs and their lows and the inevitable split whilst you sing along to all their hits including; Bye Bye Love, All I have to Do is Dream and Cathy’s Clown.

22 The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine - April 2018

The Spa’s regular ‘Dine & Dance’ nights are proving popular too with a special set menu and live entertainment. Friday 27th sees Stephanie Mackentyre & Steve Rhodes providing the music, playing songs from the shows plus popular laid back ballads and some gentle jazz to entertain you. The Lounge Restaurant and Theatre Bar will be transformed on the night, complete with a dance floor. To make a booking call 01394 336336. Finishing April with a flourish the Spa welcomes back ‘The Drifters’ on Saturday 28th April from 7.30pm. This brand-new tour features all of their classic hits. The month of May begins with ‘You Win Again’ which comes to the Spa direct from London’s West End. You can expect all your favourites; ‘Night Fever’, ‘Stayin Alive’ and You Should be Dancin by the second half if not before. ‘Seriously Dead’ is one to watch out for, this comedy stars Crissy Rock [Benidorm and I’m a Celebrity] and Tommy Cannon and is due to be performed on Thursday 17th May from 7.30pm. With another five live shows to choose from in May plus another Dine & Dance it really is all going on at the Spa Pavilion. All shows on sale are available from the Spa Pavilion’s box office, see page 2 for details, including our bar restaurant opening times.

THE RIVERSIDE THEATRE Parent and Baby Screenings

Re-Opening of The Parlour

During April we will be launching our new Parent and Baby screenings fortnightly on a Friday morning at 10.30am.

Easter is almost upon us which means the re-opening of our Parlour on Good Friday selling delicious teas and coffees, and of course our famous range of mouth-watering ice creams!

Where possible we will screen our current film of the week provided it's certificate is 12A or less, and on other weeks we will screen either a recent age appropriate film or classic. We would also welcome suggestions for film titles too from you, our audience! Ticket price will be £6 and entry will only be allowed for parents/guardians with a baby (0-18 months only) Tea and Coffee will be available in the restaurant prior to the screening. Silver Screen Classics We are pleased to announce a brand new film series running fortnightly on a Friday morning from May at 10.30am where we will screen both recent and old classics of cinema, from Some Like it Hot to The Lady in the Van! The film programme is open to all at a ticket price of just £6 and will include a free tea/coffee and biscuit. Look out for the new programme in our foyer soon, listing all the films in this programme.

Upcoming showings Macbeth - A Live Broadcast from The Royal Opera House Wednesday 4th & 11th April Tickets £15/Students £12.50 (ID Req) The warrior Macbeth fights on the side of the King of Scotland – but when a coven of witches prophesy that he shall become king himself, a ruthless ambition drives Macbeth and his wife to horrific acts. Verdi’s life-long love affair with Shakespeare’s works began with Macbeth, a play he considered to be ‘one of the greatest creations of man’. With his librettist Francesco Maria Piave Verdi set out to create ‘something out of the ordinary’. Their success is borne out in every bar of a score that sees Verdi at his most theatrica. Sung in Italian with English subtitles. Full film details, credits and trailers can be found at IMDB.com

April 2018 - The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine 23

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ELDERFLOWER & LIME CHEESECAKE This is a gorgeous recipe and looks impressive if you want to entertain over Easter. Because the texture of the cheesecake becomes creamier after a night in the fridge, if you can make it beforehand then all the better! For The Base: • 200g ginger nuts • 50g unsalted butter, melted For The Cheesecake: • 600g full-fat cream cheese • 250ml double cream • 4 tablespoons agave syrup/maple syrup/ sweetener of your choice (or 100g caster sugar if you want a traditional sweetness) • 3 large eggs • 7 tablespoons elderflower cordial • Grated zest and juice of 3 limes For The Topping: • 200ml sour cream • 2 tablespoons caster sugar • A little lime zest or peel, to decorate or some cheeky chocolate eggs Method: Heat the oven to 170˚C/mark 3. Line your cake tin with baking parchment or non-stick foil. Place the ginger nuts in a food processor and process to fine breadcrumbs, then adding the melted butter and mix together. Press the mixture all over the base and

about a third up the side of the cake tin and chill the base for 20 minutes. Meanwhile mix the cream cheese and double cream together. Add the sweetener followed by the eggs and lastly the elderflower cordial and the lime juice. Mix thoroughly until the consistency is smooth and creamy with no lumps. Take your base out of the fridge and pour the cheesecake mixture over the top, and bake for 30 minutes, then turn the heat down to 150˚C/mark 2 and cook for a further 15-20 minutes or until the cheesecake has set. It should be slightly wobbly but firm to touch in the centre. Once cooked leave the oven door open and allow it to cool completely. When it is cold mix together the sour cream and caster sugar and layer over the cheesecake. Finally add your decoration of lime zest, peel or chocolate eggs for easter and allow to chill for 8 hours in the fridge or ideally overnight.

The Big Food Blog April 2018 - The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine 25

TREASURES ALONG SUFFOLK COASTLINE I’ve always loved dinosaurs and so finding fossils was my thing! Holidays were always picked around where there would be cliffs but when I moved to Felixstowe I never imagined I would be finding prehistoric teeth on the beaches! I live in Old Felixstowe and try my luck from the Dip Kiosk right down to the Ferry. I began checking the low tide line and found the smaller ones. With so much beach it is really luck, but the small shingle usually offers up the little delights. However, one day whilst walking the dog I was following the tide line at hightide, where the sea pushes the stones into a bank. It was there I started to find the bigger teeth! With the help from my friends at UKAFH (UK Association of Fossil Hunters) which are an amazing group to join as they do fossil hunts all over the UK, we identified the teeth. The biggest find we have is from a Megladon Shark which could 26 Answer from Birdy’s Brainteaser on page 39: An echo!

A self-confessed wannabe palaeontologist. We love this one! grow a colossal 18 meters and lived from around 16 million to 2 million years ago. Some we think are from a smaller species called an Otodus Shark, which could grow 9 metres long, which I still wouldn’t like to meet! Myself and my husband have found teeth at Bawdsey, Ramsholt and Walton-On-TheNaze so this area is well known for teeth. The deposits made up of Red Crag, London Clay and Coralline Crag, geologically known as Eocene and Pleistocene so dating roughly between 56 million years ago (Eocene) to only 2.6 million years ago (Pleistocene). Mind boggling isn’t it?! Looking can be tedious but finding a whopper makes it so worth it. Mrs Claire Hempstead Wannabe Palaeontologist

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MEET FELIXSTOWE-BASED AUTHOR ANNIE THOMPSON Felixstowe-based author tells us of her stories for children I’m Annie Thompson (Anne) and as well as writing I work for Leading Lives at a couple of hubs, or day centres, in Ipswich and Felixstowe, and respite services in Ipswich. At the hubs we mainly have activities for people with learning disabilities and elderly people, e.g. sports, art, going out and about. I also work a little for Heritage Care, with four people with disabilities in Kirton. My hubby and I have three elderly parents between us to keep an eye on too, in Woodbridge and Darsham (up in the sticks). I’ve lived in Felixstowe since June 2016 although my husband and I visited a lot from Kesgrave and Martlesham Heath (where we met in 2010). We love the sea, especially the quiet bit by the Dip. We love all the eating places, and the friendly feeling here. I belong to the Felixstowe Scribblers, a friendly group of writers, and I enjoy reading Ruth Dugdall (a famous ex-Scribbler). I’m inspired by Enid Blyton, Norman Hunter (who wrote the Professor Branestawm books) and the Two Ronnies. I don’t think I could get up every day and write; it has to be when I’m inspired, but a trip to the optician can inspire me or a wrong text message. For example, I received a text about some dog bowls with schnauzer silhouettes, and decided to write a story of that name. The past three weeks I was writing every day to get things out of my head and onto paper.

At the moment I’m writing a series of short stories, more for adults, about an elderly couple who do some scatty things. I’ve only got four so far and would like to have twenty. I will also be doing the second Peter book later this year. I have to get another book ready for mid-November when there’s a book signing in Thetford. I would advise people who want to write to keep a notebook and jot down anything that inspires them, enter competitions and join groups. Most libraries have or can refer you to a group. The Peter Stories book is on Amazon – 76212734 for £5.50, and for sale in the Treasure Chest and Stillwaters Felixstowe (both in Hamilton Road). Feel free to contact me at: griffithsdizzy@yahoo.co.uk

April 2018 - The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine 29

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THE BUSINESS OF NONSENSE Random ramblings by our local lad When a member of my exec team at work emailed me today to ask, “But do we need to keep pushing the envelope to ensure we maximise the growth curve trajectory - if we are to, like, drive our success forward?” it got me thinking how much nonsense is spoken in business. Now you may have heard of Buzzword Bingo (or there is an alternative title for it which is totally unsuitable for such a family-oriented publication) but in my experience it’s more of a true reflection of real corporate life than given credit for. I’d have a full-house in record time in my job. If you’re fortunate enough not to entirely get what I’m going on about, I’m referring to those colleagues, either aspirational or already in an executive position who use nonsense ‘management’ speak to sound a lot more knowledgeable or important than they are. To me however, they just sound like complete numpties. Further to this my boss contacted me yesterday asking if I knew what a Talent Delivery Heavyweight was. “Errrm, why?” I asked. He said he’d been emailed by such a person suggesting they could “Endow our corporation with unparalleled adroitness”. Eh? It turned out he was from a recruitment agency. So it seems folk are turning to this tactic for job titles too. Hopefully you’re getting the picture now. You’ll have the local paperboy calling himself a Media Distribution Officer soon! But it’s not all about sounding influential and well-informed. Sadly, many think it makes them sound like the cool one in the office. Well here’s news to any

colleague of mine who dares to try this… it doesn’t sunshine. Hats off to the writer of the BBC’s selfsatirising series ‘W1A’ who captures this with glorious precision. The lovely character Siobhan has been known to say, “Let’s nail this puppy to the floor” and “We don’t sell crab cakes in a sausage factory”. Think this is exaggerated? I’m afraid to say, it’s not. I’ve heard it all. So what are the recent examples that have made me want to staple a colleague’s tie to their desk and stick their lips together with their PrittStick? Are you ready for this? “Grab the low hanging fruit” – Sounds painful to me. “I feel like I’m drinking from the firehouse at the moment” – Well at least you’ll get your 2 litres a day. “It’s like herding cats” – Have you tried a pack of Dreamies? So if after all that, if you share my pain, why don’t we touch base and dialogue? By Dean Wales April 2018 - The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine 33

WHAT’S ON LISTINGS Wednesday 11th April

Saturday 14th April YOU’RE INVITED TO OUR VERY SPECIAL

Lots of freshly baked goodies to choose from.

FELIXSTOWE

Charity Fair in Support of the Anthony Nolan Trust At St. John’s church, Orwell Road, Felixstowe. Entry, tea/coffee and home made cake £2. Children free. Variety of stalls. Fundraising support for Heidi Barnard, who will be running her 10th London Marathon in aid of the Anthony Nolan Trust. If you are unable to attend the function, but would like to support Heidi, she has a “Just giving” page at: virginmoney.com/Heidi B.

FELIXSTOWE

P.T CARPENTRY and property maintenance • • • • • • •

Every penny raised will help support Britain’s boobs.

The organisers will be walking over 26 miles to raise money.

Lunchtime Concert with EVE RY B O DY The Beech Duo W E LCO M E @12.30-1.15pm Friends of Woodbridge Library The Beech Duo performs duets for violin and guitar in a range of styles – a wide selection of classical repertoire, Argentinean tango and music from Eastern European genres as well as manouche jazz. Guitarist Nigel Tuffs and violinist Jan Welsh have been playing together since 2016, performing works by Paganini, Bartok, Piazzolla, Carulli and others. Both teach in private school and university settings in addition to a range of other solo, orchestral and chamber music playing. Nigel is a published composer and author of teaching methods which are in the public domain all over the world, whilst Jan performs in a variety of capacities, including jazz and electronic music.

Patron HRH The Prince of Wales

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doors & flooring skirting boards fitted kitchens wardrobes fencing & decking sheds and more

07599 018700 paultemp50@gmail.com www.facebook.com/PT-Carpentry

The Ward Piano Quintet @11.30am At His Lordship’s Library, Orwell Hotel. Nicholas Ward violin Kathryn Parry violin, Wendy Poulston viola Harriet Bennett cello. With Andrew Leach piano Brahms – Piano quintet Mozart – Piano trio in E K.452. £10 and children free from: Stillwater Books and Music in Felixstowe 01394 670633

Thursday 19th April

T R Ithe N I T YTrinity METHO D I ST C H U R Church, CH, At Methodist O RW E L L R OA D, F E L I XSTOW E Orwell Road, Felixstowe. With freshly baked goodies. In support of Walk the Walk, uniting against breast cancer.

Tuesday 17th April

Saturday 7th April

Felixstowe Area Social Club for Retired Persons @2pm. At Old Felixstowe Community Centre, Ferry Road. A talk by Chris Parfitt Entitles "In Search of the Incas". For info call Stephen and Carol Cox 809794.

SATURDAY 14TH APRIL Walk the Walk Tea Party 10AM-1PM @10am-1pm

WOODBRIDGE

Easter storytime and crafts @10.30 -11.15am Suitable for children aged 3-7. Craft session after the storytime. Both free. At Woodbridge Library. For info call 01394 446510 or email woodbridge.library@suffolk libraries.co.uk.

FELIXSTOWE

tea party

FELIXSTOWE

WOODBRIDGE

Thursday 5th April

Tuesday 10th April

FELIXSTOWE

Easter Trail @10am-4pm Landguard Fort, View Point Road IP11 3TW. Join in the Easter fun, with the quiz trail. Normal admission charges for the Fort apply, plus £1.50 for a trail sheet (including a Landguard Fort pencil). 01394 675900. www.landguard.com

Wednesday 18th April

The A to Z of Curious Suffolk by Sarah Doig @7.30pm Broadway House, Orwell Road, Felixstowe IP11 7DD. An alphabetical cornucopia of the strange, spooky and mysterious facts from around the county. Members: Free Non-members: £1. All welcome.

WOODBRIDGE

FELIXSTOWE

30th March-15th April

The Archers’ PC @6.45pm for 7pm Visiting the library James Cartwright, the actor who plays PC Harrison Burns in the world’s longest running soap, will join us at FOWL’s AGM. In conversation with Tim Cornford he will talk about his career. This includes winning the Royal Television Society’s award for best leading actor for his performance as Johnny in the BBC’s Johnny Shakespeare, winning The Scotsman Fringe First Award 2015 for his performance in the one-man play Raz and being nominated in 2014 for Best Leading Actor in a West End Production for his role in Passing By. The Friends of Woodbridge Library will be holding their AGM before the conversation with James Cartwright. Everyone is welcome to attend. Please contact Woodbridge Library on 01394 446510 or email Woodbridge. library@suffolklibraries.co.uk for more details.

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34 The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine - April 2018

Pamper your pet today! Tel: 01394 270030

7a Cobbold Road, Felixstowe

Mon-Fri: 8am - 3.30pm (Weds times vary)

Mondays FLX

Saturday 12th May

REGULAR EVENTS Bridge Club @6.45-10pm Rubber Bridge Partners. Broadway House, Orwell Road, Felixstowe. Call Ron on 277085.

FLX

Sincerely Yours - The Dame Vera Lynn Story Tribute Show @2:30pm 01394 284962 www.felixstowespa.co.uk

A V A GO Art Group @1.30-4.30pm For pros and amateurs. Refreshments incl. £2. St Edmunds Hall, Langer Road. 275690.

FLX

Tuesday 8th May

Felixstowe Old People’s Welfare Association Monday-Friday @10am-4pm At Senior Citizens Centre, Broadway House, Orwell Road. 278061.

FLX

Come and Sing with the Mozart Requiem @3pm At St Peter and St Paul’s Church. Conducted by Geoff Lavery and featuring young soloists. Singers’ rehearsal at 12 noon – tea and cake provided! £12 singers and audience, children free from: Stillwater Books and Music in Felixstowe 01394 670633

FLX

FELIXSTOWE

Sunday 22nd April

Felixstowe Indoor Bowls Club Monday-Friday @7am-10pm Felixstowe Leisure Centre. 694600.

Wednesday 30th May

FLX

Tuesdays FLX

Forbidden Nights @7:30pm 01394 284962 www.felixstowespa.co.uk

Sunday 6th May

48th Ipswich to Felixstowe Classic Vehicle Rally @12pm Seafront (each side of Pier and Beachside Events Area) Over 500 vehicles. FREE. 01473 715666. ipswichtransportmuseum.co.uk

FLX

Thursday 24th May

Felixstowe Electronic Organ Club (Second Monday of each month) Trades and Labour Club in High Road West. 01394 279373. Felixstowe Community Choir @7pm At the Orwell Hotel, Felixstowe. £4p/p on the door. felixstowecommunitychoir.org.uk

The Felixstowe Master Mariners (every third Tuesday) A luncheon meeting at Felixstowe Ferry Sailing Club. To those interested in attending please see www.mastermariners.uk.

FLX

You Win Again A Celebration of the BeeGees @7:30pm 01394 284962 www.felixstowespa.co.uk

Seriously Dead @7:30pm 01394 284962 www.felixstowespa.co.uk

Felixstowe Harmonies @7.30 - 9.30pm during school term. Seaton Road Methodist Church IP11 9BT. felixstowe.harmonies@gmail.com. www.felixstoweharmonies.co.uk t: @FelixstoweChoir fb: @felixstoweharmonies

Les Musicals @7:30pm 01394 284962 www.felixstowespa.co.uk

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FLX

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FLX

Saturday 5th May

The Quo Experience featuring Matt Letley @7:30pm 01394 284962 www.felixstowespa.co.uk

Thursday 17th May FLX

Talk on Brahms by Chris Milton @5-6pm. Talk by the Director of Music at Woodbridge School. The first in Three Great Romantic Composers, a short series of talks by Chris Milton. The second talk will be on Tchaikovsky on Friday 18th May and the third will be about Berlioz on Friday 22nd June. £4.00 each or £10.00 for all three. For more details and to book, please contact Woodbridge Library on 01394 446510 or email Woodbridge.library@suffolk libraries.co.uk

FLX

WOODBRIDGE

Friday 27th April

Knit and Natter at Crafty Coffee @10am-12noon Take along any project you are working on and meet others in a sociable environment. All welcome! Drinks and cakes available. Admission free. (Note - not running during school holidays.) Deben Flower Club (second Tuesday of the month) Kirton Church Hall. £4. 448415/ 286626. The Felixstowe Area Social Club for Retired Persons (second Tuesday of each month) @2pm at the Old Felixstowe Community Centre, Ferry Road. For info Call Stephen & Carol Cox on 01394 809794.

April 2018 - The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine 35

WHAT’S ON FLX FLX FLX

Walking Football @6.30-7.30pm Outdoor 5-a-side over 50’s. £3. Brackenbury. 270278.

FLX

Felixstowe Twins Club @10am-12noon Felixstowe Academy, Maidstone Road, IP11 9EF. www.felixstowetwinsclub.co.uk.

FLX

Felixstowe Fit Club @8.15pm-9.30pm Fun activities to help you lead a healthy active lifestyle. At St Philips Church Hall, Wadgate Road, IP11 2LP. Your 1st week is free! Then only £1 each week. www.felixstowefitclub.co.uk or call/text Jamma on 07850214463.

Felixstowe Opportunity Group @1-3pm For children from birth and for their siblings. £1.50. Maidstone Campus of the Academy. 286399 or FB: FelixstoweOpportunityGroupFog.

FLX

Walking Football in Felixstowe @1.40-3pm (for over 60’s) Each session is £3 payable to Brackenbury. If you are interested, all you need is a pair of trainers, jogging/sports bottoms.

Speakers of Felixstowe (the second Thursday of the month) @7.30pm A warm welcome awaits. Landguard Room, Marlborough Hotel.

Photographic Society @7.30pm All welcome. FREE. Broadway House, Orwell Road.

Variations Choir @7.15-9pm The Function Room, Felixstowe Conservative Club. 276478.

FLX

Felixstowe and District Horticultural Society (every second Tuesday) £2 for guests. Old Felixstowe Community Centre. 284647.

Quay Time (third Wednesday of the month) @2pm Meet over tea or coffee and cakes to enjoy each other’s company and to organise further events and activities. Featuring quizzes, board games or visiting speakers. We arrange social activities throughout the year. Woodbridge Quay Church, which is fully accessible. Transport can be provided for anyone who may otherwise have difficulty attending. New members welcome. For info contact Lion Stella Benton 01728 561379.

Street Dance @6.30-7.30pm For 9-16 years old. £4. Brackenbury Sports Centre. 07549130959. justjaydance.co.uk.

FLX

FLX FLX

Felixstowe Opportunity Group @9.30am-12pm For children from birth and for their siblings. £1.50. Maidstone Campus of the Academy. 286399 or visit www.facebook.com/ FelixstoweOpportunityGroupFog.

FLX

Baby & Toddler Group (term time only) @10-11.45am £1 per family at the United Reformed Church.

FLX

Dance Lessons Children’s and adult beginners and intermediate. St. Edmund’s Hall, Langer Road. 07757 217456.

FLX

WOODBRIDGE

Wednesdays

Anglo Scottish Dancing @7.30-9.30pm Trinity Methodist Church Hall. £3. Until 14th December. Newcomers and experienced dancers welcome - no need for a partner and first taster session free! No club fee just £3 per session: Contact Libby 01473 721270.

WOODBRIDGE Anglo Scottish Dancing @7.30-9.30pm Meeting held at Trinity Methodist Church Hall Felixstowe £3 per session (first one free). Term starts 10th Jan throughout year excluding school holidays. For more details contact Libby Wragg. 01473 721270.

Woodbridge Red Hat Society (second Thursday) @2.30pm Fun, Friendship, Freedom, Fulfillment and Fitness. Ladies admitting to 50 and over please wear purple from the shoulder down plus a red hat. Under 50’s Pinkies wear lilac with pink hats. We ALWAYS wear the colours. Free. Wyevale Garden Centre (Restaurant), Grundisburgh Road, Woodbridge, IP13 6HX. thebloomingfuchsias@hotmail.com

FLX

Thursday

Walking Football in Felixstowe @6.30-7.45pm (for over 50’s) Each session is £3 payable to Brackenbury. If you are interested, all you need is a pair of trainers, jogging/ sports bottoms.

36 The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine - April 2018

FLX

Salsa & Latin Class @6pm-7 pm (Beginners) @7:15pm-8:00 pm (Intermediates) Get fit dance. Our new beginners Salsa & Latin classes. We'll start with Salsa and Argentine. No partner required. Old Felixstowe Community Centre Ferry Road, Felixstowe, Suffolk IP11 9NB. £4p/p. 07807464655

FLX FLX

Felixstowe Con Club Bridge Club @7-10pm Playing rubber and duplicate on alternative weeks. Tuition can be made available for those interested. Call Don on 01394 282959.

Felixstowe Old People’s Welfare Association @9.30am-12.30pm At Senior Citizens Centre at Broadway House, Orwell Road. Pop in for a cuppa. Meet old and new friends and relax. 278061.

FLX

Baby & Toddler Group (term time only) @10-11.45am A relaxed group for Mothers/ Parents/Carers with Babies & Toddlers. £1 per family. United Reformed Church.

Baby Ballroom Lesson @9am At St. Edmunds Church Hall Langer Road . £3. 07757217456.

Market (by the Old Felixstowe Community Association) @10am-12noon Every second Saturday (except June). Raffle, cake, jewellery, and more. Felixstowe Community Centre, Ferry Road. FREE.

FLX

Saturdays

FLX

FLX FLX

Kirton and Falkenham Parent and Toddler Group @1-3pm. £1.50 per family. Kirton Church Hall. 07742 227877.

FLX

The Felixstowe Area “N” Gauge Model Railway Group @7.30pm At Great St. Farm, High Road, Trimley St. Mary. 277211. www.felixstowengauge.org.uk.

Rob’s Spiritual Awareness Centre (first Friday of the month) @7-10pm Open to all faiths, denominations and beliefs. £2. Trimley Welcome Hall, Trimley High Street. robert.lummis@ntlworld.com.

Felixstowe Indoor Bowls Club @8am-8pm (Sat & Sun) Felixstowe Leisure Centre. 694600.

Sundays

FLX FLX

Felixstowe Country Market @9.30-11am Homemade preserves, eggs, garden produce and crafts. Trades and Labour Club, High Road West. 272003. www.country-markets.co.uk. Stories in the Middle @10.15-10.45am At Felixstowe Library. Story time with songs and crafts for pre-school. Free. 694880.

FLX

Strength and Balance Class @4-5pm. Old Felixstowe Community Centre. 01473 620511.

FLX

Chair Based Exercise @2.45-3.45pm To increase mobility and strength. Old Felixstowe Community Centre. 01473 620511.

Songs and Rhymes for Babies and Tots @9.30-10am and 11.30am-12noon At Felixstowe Library. Free but ticketed. 694880

FLX

Get Active Stay Fit @1.30-2.30pm Low impact exercise to music for over 50’s. Old Felixstowe Community Centre. 01473 620511.

FLX

Fridays

Jazz East at The Alex @8-10.30pm. At The Alex. 123, Undercliff Road West. Free! www.jazzeast.vpweb.co.uk. Dance Classes @10-11am 4-7year olds: Ballet and modern dance. @11am-12pm 8-12 year olds: modern and street dance class. Brackenbury Sports Centre. £5. 270278. The Felixstowe Area Social Club for Retired Persons - Sunday Lunch (bi-monthly) @2pm at the Old Felixstowe Community Centre, Ferry Road. New members welcome, for info call Stephen & Carol Cox, 809794.

With thanks to Visit Felixstowe, Felixstowe Library and Woodbridge Library and Choose Woodbridge for their event information. To submit an event for the magazine email us at: info@birdypublications.com. Please check with the organisers of activities and events when attending for the first time.

April 2018 - The Felixstowe & Woodbridge Magazine 37

COMPETITIONS - QUIZ - SUDOKU - BRAIN

WIN A PAIR OF TICKETS TO A SPA PAVILION PERFORMANCE Win a pair of tickets to see Sincerely Yours at the Spa! We are offering you the chance to win a pair of tickets to see Sincerely Yours – The Vera Lynn Story at the Spa Pavilion theatre next month. On stage with a fabulous live band on Tuesday 8th May from 2.30pm will be the hugely talented Lorrie Brown who is the UK’s number one Vera Lynn tribute act. All you have to do to get yourself into the draw to win a pair of tickets is answer the following question... Q. Vera Lynn hosted her own radio show was it called: a) Yours faithfully b) Yours sincerely c) Sincerely Yours If you’d like to know more about this show or indeed any of the Spa’s shows throughout 2018 call the Spa Pavilion Box Office on 01394 284962. Go to www.felixstowespa.co.uk or follow @SpaPavilion on Facebook and Twitter. Email your answer, full name and phone number to info@birdypublications.com. Closing date is April 30th 2018. Winner will be notified by email. T&Cs apply. Tickets are not transferable.

4. What is Elton John’s heroic middle name?

5. What is the culinary term for cutting food into long thin strips?

6. Which game, now a popular sport, was originally called whiff-whaff in the late 19th century? 7. Oenology (or Onology) is the science of making what?

8. If someone said they were from Hellas which country would this be?

9. What is the world’s most widely used vegetable? 10. What family of plants does broccoli belong to? 38

Companies founded on April 1 include Wrigley’s chewing gum (1891) and Apple Inc (1976). In April 1974 Waterloo won the Eurovision Song Contest for Sweden. ABBA went on to pop music success for much of the 70s.

Quiz Answers Table tennis Wine Greece Onion Cabbage

3. Which European capital city was built on 14 islands?

The tallest chocolate Easter egg ever was made in Italy in 2011. At 10.39 metres in height and 7,200kg in weight, it was taller than a giraffe and heavier than an elephant!

6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

2. Born Terry Gene Bollea in 1953 he went on to become one of the best known wrestlers in the WWF. What is he better known as?

Crystal Hulk Hogan Stockholm Hercules Julienne

1. What is a traditional gift for a couple celebrating a 15 year marriage anniversary?

According to the Oxford Dictionary an ‘April gentleman’ once meant ‘a foolish man; specifically a newly-married husband, considered as a fool’.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Quiz questions

FUN FACTS

NTEASERS - FUN FACTS

BIRDY’S BRAINTEASER It lives without a body, hears without ears, speaks without a mouth and is born in the air.

Answer on page 26

THE ONE-LINER The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

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