Coping with the Loss of Your Best Friend

Coping with the Loss of Your Best Friend...

Written by Chelsea Salerno, Copy Editor

It’s the worst part about owning a dog… eventually, whether due to old age, sickness or a freak occurrence, you will have to go on without them. Losing a dog can be just as difficult as losing a relative or friend. After all, they become part of our family and a source of comfort, making the loss all that more upsetting. The pain of loss can often feel overwhelming and trigger all sorts of painful and difficult emotions. While some people may not understand the depth of feeling you had for your pet, you should never feel guilty or ashamed about grieving for an animal friend. So what are some things we can do to move on from the death of your best friend?

1. Know when it’s time:

Accepting that death is an inevitable part of pet ownership is important, but so is knowing how to make the tough decision when your animal is suffering. Some important factors to consider are activity level (does your pet still enjoy previously loved activities?), response to care and affection (does your pet still interact and respond to love?), amount of pain and suffering (is your pet experiencing hurt that outweighs enjoyment in life?), terminal illness or critical injury (is your pet facing certain death from the injury or illness?) and finally, your own feelings (is keeping your pet alive harming your quality of life as well as theirs? Does your family . agree it’s time?). If you do decide that ending the suffering is in your pet’s best interest, take your time to create a process that is as peaceful as possible for you, your pet and your family. You may want to have someone come to the house and perform the euthanasia there. You might want to take off work the next day. Do whatever is right for you and try to remember that guilt is normal.

2. Feel the grief and deal with the guilt:

The grieving process happens only gradually. It can’t be forced or hurried—and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold. Time heals all, and expressing your grief allows for the quickest, healthiest process. Realize that the guilt you feel is irrational in nature and is a normal part of the grieving process. Simply knowing this will not stop these feelings from happening, but it will help you to work through them when they do.

The pain of loss can often feel overwhelming and trigger all sorts of painful and difficult emotions. While some people may not understand the depth of feeling you had for your pet, you should never feel guilty or ashamed about grieving for an animal friend.

3. Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel:

Feeling sad is a normal, healthy feeling. It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be angry. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s time to move on or that you’re being too emotional. Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgement. If you feel lonely in your grief and want additional support, there are online groups and message boards created for this purpose. Even if your friends and family don’t understand, there are other options for support. Rainbow Bridge is a free online grief support community that provides a forum, sympathy e-cards, a list of pet-loss hotlines and other resources.

4. Create a memorial for your pet:

Whether it’s a plaque under a tree in your backyard or an urn on a shelf in your living room, give yourself some kind of commemorative item to display. Most vets take a mold of your pets paw print for you to keep as a memento. There are Etsy shops that will take your pets ashes and turn them into jewelry such as rings and necklace pendents. Artisurn sells beautiful urns in various sizes. Even just having a memorial where you spread your pets ashes can be helpful. DON’T just pretend like the pet never existed by throwing away all pictures, toys or collars and tags. If you find the grief is too raw, put these things away and deal with them when you are able to.

5. Move forward:

You are not being disloyal to your pet by healing. You shouldn’t rush to replace your pet even if your home feels empty and quiet, it is still best to wait before opening your heart and your home to a new companion. With that being said, you have a lot of love to give that can now be rechanneled. It is a very individual and personal decision if and when to invite another pet into your life. Realize that sharing your love with another animal is not a betrayal of your beloved pet. Opening your home and heart to another animal can be a way to honor your past pet. If you are unable or not ready to do so, consider volunteering your time or resources at an animal shelter or rescue. Do something to celebrate the life of your furry friend. When you’re ready to get a new pet, avoid getting a pet that looks like your previous pet or the same breed. Each pet has its own personality, and comparisons would be unfair to your new pet. A lot of furry creatures of all shapes and sizes need good homes and our hearts often need a pet to feel happy, soothed and fulfilled! There’s no shame in moving on quickly, just make sure you are ready before adopting a new family member. Losing a pet can be hard, but remember that you are not alone and every pet owner goes through this at some point in their lives. Be grateful for the time you had with your furry companion and look back on all the good times fondly. They are only a part of your life for a short time, but most of the time we are a part of theirs from start to finish!