September 2018
By Cleveland W. (AS)
On September 6th, India’s highest court overturned a 157-year-old law criminalizing gay sex. Below: Mumbai celebrates the Supreme Court’s decision to strike down the colonial-era ban.
Photo by Indranil Mukherjee/ AFP/Getty Images
Volume 9, Issue 5
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A message from Dominique... The Day I Almost Quit Black & Pink I found out about Black & Pink January of 2016. We had traveled from Omaha, Nebraska to Chicago for Creating Change that year. There was a blizzard and after crowdfunding to be able to attend— there was nothing in the world that was going to keep me from attending Creating Change that year. It was known as the Mecca of networking for LGBTQ+ folks who wanted to magnify their work—and I was tired of being the kid from Nebraska who couldn’t get in the room to do the work I knew I was meant to do for the rest of my life. I remember meeting Jason for the first time. Being so surprised how down to Earth he was. How dope this organization seemed and angry that for the 8 years I’d been in the Nebraska Department of Corrections, I wasn’t connected to Black & Pink and their work. 30 days later I’d accepted a job with the Nebraska Democratic Party. 5 months later I’d graduate with a degree in Public Health from Southern New Hampshire University and a month after that I began my career as a Sexual Health Educator at Charles Drew Health Center. Fast forward to the summer of 2017—Black & Pink National Gathering in Chicago (I’m a huge believer in full circle moments) Meeting Jason again. Meeting so many Black & Pink members. Learning that I was going to be involved in the Leadership Circle. There was so much joy I received from those 3 days. Then November of 2017 it was like the sky started falling. What
had I gotten myself into? Who were these people we had to love as members but battle to save our organization from? What had I gotten myself into? At that point I was the President of the Board of Directors. By default it seemed. But I had a responsibility nonetheless. December 22nd 2017 I boarded a plane to Boston. Our ground zero. I was scared and alone. In a new city. It was the anniversary of my Mother’s’ death. It was a cold and few days before Christmas. Did I mention I was alone? But I had a job to do. I had an organization on the brink of destruction and more people than I could imagine who were depending on us to make it right. That evening I received a call about a healing circle that I was asked to attend to represent Black & Pink. I’m going to be honest. I’d been molested as a child. I’d been raped by a correctional officer the last 6 months of my sentence. My husband had cheated and had a baby on the way—This healing circle ranks up there as an experience of violation to my body, my mind and spirit. Being attacked in a space that was the office of the organization that historically had been known as a harbinger of peace for LGBTQ+ folks. A radical space. This abolition nexus of Boston. I was told I didn’t love black women. I was lied on. My character was attacked by people who knew me from email exchanges. I left there over it all. I wanted to fly home and go back to my house and deal with my failing marriage and eat my way through my feelings. It was over. I thought—this is what advocacy looks like? This is what an amplifier reach was going to cost me? If this
is what the work looks like—I wasn’t fit for it. I walked out of the city school building and up the street to the pizza parlor where I would meet members of the Boston chapter for the first time. I smiled and chatted my way through the meeting while I mentally crafted my resignation letter that I would send when I got back to the hotel. I went back and cried myself to sleep. I woke up the next morning— Sunday and it was a light snow covering the city. I decided to leave the hotel and find a place to have breakfast. I ended up at
“The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.” Jay McInerney, “The Last of the Savages” this small diner and sat down to begin my resignation email. It was then a few things happened—the jukebox began to play a Whitney Houston song. “How Will I Know” to be exact. I’ll never be in a space and hear a Whitney song and now stop in my tracks. Then I scrolled through FB and saw the post that I made December of 2009 thanking people who had reached out after my Mother had passed away. I instantly heard my Mother’s voice say “Don’t let anyone steal your joy”. Regardless of everything we had went through as a Board—I was doing the work I had dreamed of
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In This Issue News you can use Steven Jay Russell: My Life in Prison Vs. ‘I Love You Phillip Morris’ pages 5, 12-14 South Dakota Prisoner Challenges Porn Ban pages 6, 10 It’s Time To Repeal HIV Criminalization Laws pages 6, 16 TX Trans Woman Leads Effort Against Dallas’s Secret Bail Machine pages 7, 15 Prisoner Publishes Book, State Wants Proceeds pages 7, 14, 17 Transgender Inmates Drive Policy Changes pages 8-9, 11
Black & Pink family Art pages 1, 8, 29-30, 33, 43-44, 48 Letters pages 18-34, 40-45 Poetry pages 35-39, 41-43 Submit to Black & Pink! page 46
Black & Pink News Black & Pink Hotline The hotline phone number is (531) 600-9089. The hotline will be available Sundays, 1-5 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time) for certain. You can call at other times, as well, and we will do our best to answer your calls as often as possible. We are sorry that we can only accept prepaid calls at this time. The purposes of the hotline are: Supportive listening: Being in prison is lonely, as we all know. The hotline is here for supportive listening so you can just talk to someone about what is going on in your life. Organizing: If there are things going on at your prison—lockdowns, guard harassment, resistance, or anything else that should be shared with the public—we can help spread the word.
August/September 2018 work toward the abolition of the prison-industrial complex (PIC) is rooted in the experiences of currently and formerly incarcerated people. We are outraged by the specific violence of the PIC towards LGBTQ people, and we respond through advocacy, education, direct service, and organizing. Black & Pink is proudly a family of people of all races and ethnicities. About Black & Pink News Since 2007, Black & Pink free world volunteers have pulled together a monthly newspaper, composed primarily of material written by our family’s incarcerated members. In response to letters we receive, we send the newspaper to more prisoners every month! Black & Pink News currently reaches more than 9,400 prisoners!
Give us a call! (531) 600-9089 Sundays, 1-5 p.m. EST
We look forward to hearing from you! This is our first attempt at this so please be patient with us as we work it all out. We will not be able to answer every call, but we will do our best. We apologize to anyone who has been trying to get through to the hotline with no success. We are still working out the system. Thank you for being understanding. Restrictions: The hotline is not a number to call about getting on the penpal list or to get the newspaper. The hotline is not a number to call for sexual or erotic chatting. The hotline is not a number for getting help with your current court case; we are not legal experts. Statement of Purpose Black & Pink is an open family of LGBTQ prisoners and “free world” allies who support each other. Our
Disclaimer The ideas and opinions expressed in Black & Pink News are solely those of the authors and artists and do not necessarily reflect the views of Black & Pink. Black & Pink makes no representations as to the accuracy of any statements made in Black & Pink News, including but not limited to legal and medical information. Authors and artists bear sole responsibility for their work. Everything published in Black & Pink News is also on the internet—it can be seen by anyone with a computer. By sending art or written work to “Newspaper Submissions,” you are agreeing to have it published in Black & Pink News and on the internet. In order to respect our members’ privacy, we publish only first names and state locations. We may edit submissions to fit our anti-oppression values and/or based on our own editing guidelines.
September blackandpink.org 2018 (United States)
Volume 9, Issue 5
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September 2018
Sun
Mon
26
27
2
Day 3 Labor Frederick Douglass
escapes from slavery, Baltimore, MD (1938)
(New 9 Attica York) Prison riot begins (1971)
16
Day
28
Wed Emmett Till lynched in Mississippi (1955)
Nation 4 Cherokee West established after the 'Trail of Tears' (1839)
National Farm Workers Association (1962)
Horse, 5 Crazy defender of the
Lakota way of life, killed after surrendering to U.S. troops (1877)
Thu
Fri
30
31
6
Sat International Overdose Awareness Day
Tupac 7 Rapper Shakur shot in Las
Vegas; dies 6 days later (1996)
1
Literacy 8 International Day
11
12 Muharram Leonard Peltier born,
Tutu leads 13 Desmond huge anti-Apartheid
14
America 15 Central declares
Wall Street 17 Occupy encampment begins
18
Kippur 19 Yom Paolo Freire born
20
21
Equinox 22 September Emancipation Day
Day of 24 First Sukkot
25
Critical 26 1st Resistance (prison
27
Americans' 28 Native Day (California)
29
Prevention Day
cofounder of American Indian Movement, political prisoner, painter (1944)
(1921)—Brazilian educator, author (Pedagogy of the Oppressed)
abolition group) conference, Berkeley, CA (1998)
Italian prisoners tear down walls to protest maximum security prisons (1978) Day of Sukkot 30 Last Cesar Chavez founds
29
International Day Against Nuclear Tests
Hashana 10 Rosh World Suicide
(2011)
23 International Celebrate Bisexuality
Tue
1 Shmini Atzeret
2 Simchat Torah
Anarchist People 3 1st of Color conference, Detroit, MI (2003)
march in South Africa (1989)
of St Francis of 4 Feast Assisi
New Orleans Tribune forms, first black daily publication (1864)
independence from Spain (1821)
(Ohio)
5 World Teachers' Day
6
Jim Carrey Made A Movie About Me. Here’s What It Didn’t Show About Life In Prison. By Steven Jay Russell
The Huffington Post, September 4, 2018
I’ve spent more than 22 years of my life living in a 6-by-9-foot concrete box, deep in the heart of Texas. Think about that for a second. Why have I been put here? Well, originally I was sent to prison for insurance fraud. Four prison escapes later, I’m now serving a 144-year sentence in solitary confinement. If I die in here, it will just mean moving into a smaller box. The crazy thing is all of my
crimes and any disciplinary cases I’ve incurred while in jail have all been nonviolent. In spite of that, I’m being held indefinitely in solitary, partly to make sure I can’t escape again and partly, I believe, to punish me for the embarrassment I’ve caused the state of Texas. In 2010, a movie about my life, “I Love You Phillip Morris,” was released, starring Jim Carrey as me. But there’s a lot more about my life in prison that you didn’t see in that movie. After I escaped from Eastham Unit in Lovelady, Texas, police
found me in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, where they arrested and captured me for the final time in 1998. Prison officials there shackled me and flew me back to Texas, where I was reprocessed into the state prison system. I was greeted by a crowd of jubilant officials and told, “Get out of ’em. Rub your hands through your hair. Lift your arms. Open your mouth wide. Move your tongue from one side to the other. Lift your penis; now your nuts. Turn around and spread your ass cheeks nice and
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Black & Pink News
August/September 2018
SD Prisoner Challenges Porn Ban By Edward B. Lyon, Jr.
Prison Legal News, September 5, 2018
Charles E. Sisney, serving a life sentence since 1997, has been active in the courts on prison-related issues for years. His latest target is the 2014 version of the South Dakota Department of Corrections’ (SDDOC) pornography policy, which prohibits state prisoners from purchasing, possessing or manufacturing pornography or pornographic writings, and bans pornography in both incoming and outgoing correspondence. The 2014 policy superseded an earlier, less inclusive policy. Specifically, Sisney challenged the censorship and rejection of various publications that were mailed to him, including “two erotic novels, Thrones of Desire and Pride and Prejudice: The Wild and Wanton Edition, as well as four Japanese manga comics from a series called Pretty Face, nine images of Renaissance artworks depicting nudity, a book on Matisse and Picasso, and a poster featuring the iconic Coppertone suntan-girl advertisement.” The district court granted summary judgment for Sis-
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It’s Time To Repeal HIV Criminalization Laws By Jennifer L. Pomeranz and Perry N. Halkitis
The Huffington Post, July 28, 2017
On July 25th, 2017 at the International AIDS Society conference in Paris, France, new evidence was provided on the effectiveness of HIV treatments in curtailing transmission of the virus in serodiscordant couples—this time among gay male couples, building on similar effectiveness in heterosexual couples. These study results come on the heals of a conference held on June 30th, when the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention gathered leaders in HIV prevention for a momentous discussion on the impact that treatment has had on the sexual transmission of the HIV. Mounting empirical evidence since 2010 demonstrates that it is
impossible for an HIV-positive individual, who is on treatment and completely suppressed the virus, to transmit the pathogen to their sexual partners—even in the absence of any other forms of protection. However, this growing body of scientific evidence, and current federal guidelines for the management of HIV, namely testing and treating, all run counter to outdated and discriminatory HIV criminalization laws, which continue to exist in the United States. With the advancement of treatment and care in the last two decades people are encouraged to test and know their status so they can be effectively treated. Treatment is so advanced that people can take one pill once a day to suppress the virus and keep their immune system healthy, preventing them from ac-
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TX Trans Woman Leads Effort Against Dallas County’s Secret Bail Machine By Mustafa Z. Mirza
The Marshall Project, September 4, 2018 In most places around the country, bail hearings are open to the public. The idea is that if the government is going to try to imprison you, the news media and your family and friends should be able to see what goes on and make sure it’s done fairly. Not so in Dallas County, Texas, where people accused of crimes have their bail set behind closed doors—without any family, lawyers, social workers or journalists present. A class action lawsuit against the county compelled a district court judge to order the release of video
footage of some hearings. After numerous objections, the county issued three days of July bail hearings. The Marshall Project was among those who obtained copies. In most cases, the encounter between the judge and the accused lasts no more than 15 seconds. A judge ticks off each defendant’s bail amount—often according to a predetermined bail schedule—asks if he or she is a U.S. citizen, and sends them off to jail. There’s no discussion of the person’s likelihood of returning to court or ability to pay the sum, or of the facts of the crime allegedly committed. In January, Shannon Daves and five others filed the suit. They are joined by two advocacy organizations, the Texas Organizing Project,
which works on electoral organizing, and Faith in Texas, a multiracial interfaith group. The plaintiffs, represented by attorneys from the
Of the roughly 5,000 people who populate the Dallas County jail on any given day, only 23% have managed to post bail so far this year. American Civil Liberties Union of Texas and Civil Rights Corps, a Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit, allege that Dallas County is jailing
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Incarcerated Man Publishes ‘Graybar Hotel’, Fights Michigan Lawsuit Seeking Its Proceeds By Edward B. Lyon, Jr.
Prison Legal News, August 8, 2018 Curtis Dawkins is serving life without parole in Michigan. He has been imprisoned since 2005, after a crack-fueled series of crimes committed on Halloween night the year before left Tom Bowman dead. Dawkins is also a fiction writer whose first book, penned during his incarceration, was purchased by Scribner, a major publishing house. Now Michigan officials want Dawkins’ earnings from the
book to cover the cost of his incarceration. Prior to his murder conviction, the 49-year-old earned a Master of Fine Arts in creative writing. In prison, Dawkins began to write as a way to pass the time. He sent short stories to his sister, who submitted them to literary journals. Jarrett Haley of BULL, a small literary magazine, helped him assemble his collection of short stories and obtain the services of an agent. The short-story collection is now a book titled The Graybar Hotel, which Scribner bought in the sum-
mer of 2016. Dawkins split the first payment of his $150,000 advance fee with Haley, putting $50,000 in a fund to pay for his three children’s college tuition and school costs, text books and supplies, and dental and medical care. Many states forbid prisoners from profiting off stories of their crimes by diverting any proceeds earned to the victim’s family. But nothing in Dawkins’ book referenced his crime or conviction, though in his acknowledgments he admits his
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Black & Pink News
August/September 2018
Trans Inmates’ Advocacy Drives Policy Changes Prison Legal News
June 8, 2018
In two recent settlements, corrections officials were forced to pay for their failure to honor the chosen gender identity of transgender prisoners and where they were housed. But in a third case, a court’s refusal to second-guess a housing decision by prison staff led to a transgender prisoner being assaulted and injured. One of the cases involved Michale Wright, who goes by Michelle. In 2013, at age 21, she was sentenced to the Oregon Department of Corrections (ODOC) and placed with male prisoners—though she had been publicly identifying as a woman since she was 16. The next year, in 2014, prison mental health staff diagnosed her with gender dysphoria and recommended treatment, including hormone replacement therapy and counseling. However, Wright’s request for the treatment was denied. Three suicide attempts and two attempts of self-castration followed. Wright, then 25, completed the ODOC’s grievance process and, after further unsuccessful attempts to obtain treatment, the Oregon chapter of the ACLU filed suit on her behalf in 2015. Two years later the parties reached a settlement, effective October 18, 2017, that included a $167,500 payment to Wright and another $100,000 for her attorneys’
The ODOC further agreed to send Wright to a women’s prison without regard to considerations of “biological sex or the presence of genitalia.” A treatment plan was formulated, including hormone therapy and the consideration of “surgical intervention” if recommended by a professional after an evaluation. The ODOC said it would consider a proposal to create a support group to benefit transgender prisoners. See: Wright v. Peters, U.S.D.C. (D. Ore.), Case No. 6:16-cv-01998-MC. Another settlement was awarded to a transgender prisoner identified in court documents as J.G. In 2016, she was booked into a jail in Greene County, Missouri for a 24-hour hold on suspicion of second-degree assault. A standard strip search was conducted, after which, according to court documents, “the arresting officer contacted [the] jail and asked why a male was being housed with female inmates.” That resulted in a second strip search by a female guard in the presence of a male guard. J.G. alleged the search was for the purpose of examining her genitalia to determine her gender, in violation of jail policy. Though born a male, she has lived as a female since having sex reassignment surgery. Represented by attorney Craig r Heidemann, J.G. filed suit, allega t S n sio By Pas ing the second strip search violated irons. It will also permit her to use her civil rights. Greene County Sheriff Jim C. an electric razor to remove body hair and provide her with bras and Arnott settled the case in January 2017 for $501 plus reasonable atfemale underwear.
fees and court costs. The ODOC also agreed to forgive debt totaling $1,469.82 that Wright owed for copies, disciplinary fines, medical costs and postage. In addition, the settlement changed the way Oregon prison officials handle transgender prisoners. Revising its canteen policies, the ODOC will now allow Wright to purchase curling irons and flat
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torney fees. But he never paid. His Colorado Department of Correc- in custody because she is transgenlawyer, Damon Phillips, said the tions (CDOC) in May 2017 to serve der and housed with male prisonsheriff balked at the amount of fees a three-year sentence for violating a ers. She had already made several that Heidemann asked to recov- plea agreement on a previous felony suicide attempts, but was returned er—$9,500 for 31 hours of work. after each attempt to the Territorial menacing charge. “The sheriff tried to back out of Although she had started hor- Correctional Facility. In December 2017, Saun[the deal],” countered Heidemann. mone therapy in 2016, guards re“In 20 years of practicing law, I’ve fused to call her by her female name ders-Velez reported a sexual assault never had somebody try and back or to use feminine pronouns, and in her housing unit. out of a deal like this.” She was then accused of kissing denied her requests to be searched Phillips filed a motion to strike by female guards, to buy female another prisoner—a charge she dethe settlement agreement on the underwear or to acquire facial hair nied—and sent to a “punishment grounds that J.G. had “intentionally remover. pod” in April 2018. Her attorney, changed and addPaula Greisen, ed terms that [she] asked a court to either believed intervene to have It was less than a quarter-century ago were outside the S a u n d e r s - Ve l e z scope of the offer, that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled, in moved to a female or where [she] behousing unit for lieved the offer was 1994, that a transgender prisoner had her safety. ambiguous as to standing to sue prison officials for U.S. District those changed and Court Chief Judge injuries she received while incarcerated. Marcia S. Krieger additional terms.” The district denied the request, court resolved the saying that since Saunders-Velez, 20, had been in Greisen failed to prove a risk of matter with a September 28, 2017 order of judgment “for damages to- Colorado’s foster care and youth “imminent and irreparable injury,” taling $501.00, with reasonable at- corrections system since she was the court was reluctant to overrule torney fees and costs as agreed by four years old. As a youth, she CDOC officials. Saunders-Velez the parties or assessed by the court.” worked with the state’s ACLU was returned to the male housing As of November 2017, Arnott chapter to successfully change the unit, where she was viciously atstill had not paid the settlement due way juvenile detainees and pris- tacked within the first hour and to a disagreement over fees and oners are housed—whether with spent a week in the infirmary to recosts. Heidemann said that “leads males or females, the decision is cover from her injuries. These three cases highlight the me to believe I’ll have to collect by now left to the transgender youth. The Prison Rape Elimination “two steps forward, one step back” other means,” such as moving to enAct prohibits corrections officials evolution of prison policies with force the agreement. “This case was never about from assigning prisoners to housing respect to transgender prisoners. It money,” he stated. “It’s about hu- units based on their sex at birth or was less than a quarter-century ago man dignity.” But, he added, “I’ll genitalia. Instead, they must make that the U.S. Supreme Court ruled, do whatever I need to do under the an individual assessment for each in 1994, that a transgender prisoner law.” See: J.G. v. Arnott, U.S.D.C. transgender prisoner. However, had standing to sue prison officials (W.D. Mo.), Case No. 6:16-cv- some facilities still assign prison- for injuries she received while iners based on the old criteria, said carcerated. See: Farmer v. Brennan, 03347-REL. A third transgender prisoner, Demoya Gordon, an attorney with 511 U.S. 825 (1994) [PLN, July Lindsay Saunders-Velez, 20, suf- Lamba Legal’s Transgender Rights 1994, p.1]. The Prison Rape Elimination fered a violent assault while she Project. In July 2017, Saunders-Velez Act marked the next major step for was incarcerated at the Territorial Correctional Facility, a Colorado sued the CDOC over threats and state prison. She had entered the harassment she said she endured continued on page 11
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A Message... continued from page 3 and had prayed for. How was I going to let anyone take that from me? I’d always been a fighter. Why would I stop now? January 22nd, 2018, I accepted the position of National Director permanently. I can say 9 months later I don’t regret stepping into this roller coaster at all. Is it easy? Absolutely not. We are still working to rebuild what some tried to destroy. Are we growing and thriving in the midst of it all? ABSOLUTELY. New funders. New programs. A renewed organizational spirit. Over the next few months we will be doing a complete mail catch up in Boston. Our Reentry program launched this summer. Our reconstituted Leadership Circle will launch this fall as well. At the end of the day I get up and get going in the morning for you all. I have a responsibility to you. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you for allowing me to be the captain of this ship. I can’t promise calm waters at all times but I can promise that we will always move full speed ahead and stay on course. With Love, Dominique Morgan, National Director, Black & Pink, September 6th , 2018
Black & Pink News
August/September 2018
South Dakota Inmate Fights Pornography Ban continued from page 6 ney, invalidating the 2014 policy “on its face.” The court then resurrected the superseded 2000 policy and used it to rule on all but one of Sisney’s as-applied challenges in his favor. The SDDOC appealed and Sisney cross-appealed. The South Dakota American Civil Liberties
district court had erred by striking down the 2014 SDDOC policy, then impermissibly applying the superseded 2000 policy to evaluate Sisney’s claims. Rather, the lower court should have first determined the as-applied challenges before considering whether the 2014 policy—which was significantly different from the prior policy—was facially unconstitutional.
Sisney challenged the censorship and rejection of various publications that were mailed to him, including “...nine images of Renaissance artworks depicting nudity, a book on Matisse and Picasso, and a poster featuring the iconic Coppertone suntan-girl advertisement.” Union and the National Coalition Against Censorship filed amicus briefs on his behalf. Although Sisney was successful in his pro se representation in the district court, appellate counsel was appointed for him before the Eighth Circuit. Notwithstanding the various arguments of the parties and amici, the Court of Appeals chose not to rule on any of them. Instead, on March 30, 2018, the Court held the
The Eighth Circuit opted to vacate the summary judgment order so the district court could reevaluate Sisney’s claims under the 2014 policy, which he had actually challenged. The case remains pending on remand. Sisney was represented on appeal by North Dakota attorney Steven R. Morrison. See: Sisney v. Kaemingk, 886 F.3d 692 (8th Cir. 2018), rehearing denied, rehearing en banc denied.
Share your artwork with the B&P community! see mailing info on page 46
Volume 9, Issue 5
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Lindsay Saunders-Velez (left) with mentor Meghan Baker at the Colorado Territorial Correctional Facility in Cañon City (2018).
Advocacy by Trans Inmates Drives Policy Changes continued from page 9 the rights of transgender prisoners. Then came Adams v. Bureau of Prisons, a 2011 settlement that not only allowed a transgender woman to begin hormone therapy while in custody, but also ended the BOP’s so-called “freeze-frame” policy, which had let prison officials off the hook for any medical treatment a prisoner wasn’t receiving when he or she entered federal custody. [See: PLN, Dec. 2012, p.18]. That same year, a federal court struck down a Wisconsin law barring transgender state prisoners from receiving hormone replacement therapy or sex reassignment surgery. A transgender prisoner serving a life sentence for murder in California received the first
state-funded sex reassignment surgery in 2017. [See: PLN, April 2017, p.13]. Four years after Adams, in 2015, San Francisco’s City Jail began assigning prisoners to housing units based on their gender identity rather than primary or secondary sex characteristics. New York City jails followed suit in 2018. After suffering several assaults and rapes in custody, Passion Star, a transgender prisoner, sued the Texas Department of Criminal Justice (TDCJ), and in 2017 won changes to the TDCJ’s intake policy that make access to “safekeeping” areas easier for LGBT prisoners. In 2018, a Missouri judge applied the ruling in Adams to hold the state could not use the fact that a prisoner was not receiving hor-
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mone replacement therapy before incarceration to bar her from starting that treatment while incarcerated. Most recently, however, in May 2018, the Trump administration rolled back protections for transgender prisoners held in federal facilities. The changes to the BOP’s Transgender Offender Manual removed the section that requires prison officials to consider a prisoner’s “gender identity” when making housing decisions. Instead, the BOP will now use “biological sex as the initial determination,” with gender identity being considered only in “rare cases.” The changes followed a lawsuit filed by four female prisoners in Texas, who objected to being housed with transgender women. “Blending of the sexes in the confined and restricted conditions attendant to prisons violates the privacy of female inmates and causes numerous dangers and threats to the physical and mental health and safety of our female Plaintiffs,” the prisoners stated in their complaint. See: Fleming v. United States, U.S.D.C. (N.D. Tex.), Case No. 7:17-cv-00009-O. The BOP’s policy change was quickly and strongly condemned by prisoners’ rights and LGBT advocates. “The extreme rates of physical and sexual violence faced by transgender people in our nation’s prisons is a stain on the entire criminal justice system,” said Mara Keisling, executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality. “Instead of leaving the existing policy alone, the administration is clearly prepared to encourage federal prisons to violate federal law and advance its own inhumane agenda.”
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August/September 2018
Here’s What Jim Carrey’s Movie About Me Didn’t Show About Life In Prison continued from page 5
scooped onto a tray like a dip of ice cream. Texas prides itself on only spending about $2 per day to feed each of its 145,000 captives. They used to serve real milk, now we only get powdered. Fresh vegetables are the stuff of dreams. Before I fell asleep that night the words, “you’re really fucked now,” lingered in my mind. They were going to put me so far behind bars that life would be close to unbearable. They would try and make certain I never e s caped again.
wide. Squat down and cough. Stand up. Lift you left foot up. Lift you right foot up. Turn back around. Put these boxers on. Go sit in the barber’s chair.” Next, it was time for fingerprinting, photographs, a physical, psychological screening and an interview with a sociologist. The interview with the sociologist was the highlight: “Where have you been since you left our custody? What were you doing? Who were you with? Were you in contact with Phillip Morris? Did you do drugs? Drink alcohol? Are you still a h-om-o-s-e-x-u-a-l?” The entire intake process took about three hours. Normally it would take two to three weeks. It’s hard to tell if they were putting on a show for the prison staff or just trying to move on from my escape as quickly as possible. Then there was an encore of getting naked and searched again before I was loaded into a van for my five-minute ride over to the Michael Unit’s solitary confinement building. That’s where I would spend the next 13 years of my life. Supper that first night back in jail was “cat food.” Texas Department of Criminal Justice “cat food” is chopped ham, mayo, pickle and boiled egg, Steven Jay Russell
Texas’ solitary confinement, then and still to this day, virtually isolates me in a closed cell except for the opportunity to walk around in a pen for two hours, Monday through Friday. While I refuse the “cage at the zoo” opportunity—I’m too proud, even after 22 years—my daily shower is something I always take advantage of. Cleanliness, for me and my cell, has become my obsession. I think it’s a reaction to all the feces-throwing, public masturbation, and the general lack of hygiene typical of men who have nothing to live for—the ones I’m surrounded by 24/7. Currently, I’m housed in the Texas Death Row Building, at the Polunsky Unit, with prisoners sentenced to death for capital murder. They moved me here in 2011 after rethinking the most secure place to keep me. Ricky Smith, another serial escapee, and I were sent here after David Puckett, an aggravated assault convict, escaped from a Michael Unit prototype in Beaumont. They must have figured the prison design there was flawed or that word would get out about how Puckett broke out. Anyway, the death row prisoners are mostly very quiet and well-behaved. The perimeter of this building is covered in razor wire, with sensors and cameras everywhere, and a high-
Volume 9, Issue 5
tech electric fence. The cells are 6 feet long and 9 feet wide with three solid concrete walls, a stainless-steel wall with toilet/sink combo, a steel frame bunk and locker and a steel door with two narrow windows so the guards can see inside the cell. At the top of the back wall of the cell is a narrow window that is sealed shut, but it allows some natural light to enter. A small table is attached to the wall, next to the bunk. I use the table for eating, writing, typing and storage. The floor is concrete, and the walls have chipped and peeling white paint. Texas no longer budgets funds to pay for paint on cell walls. We’re allowed to buy a $20 Chinese radio from the commissary to listen to music and National Public Radio station KUHF 88.7 FM that broadcasts out of Houston. Meals are served to me through a narrow food slot toward the bottom of the steel door. Human contact is nonexistent, except for when a guard holds my arm while escorting me to either a visit, medical appointment or to the shower. Some react to the lack of human contact by feeling unloved and unworthy of love, which can lead to a downward spiral into depression. In my case, the lack of physical human contact is almost a blessing, since it was always my obsession with lovers that got me into trouble. My need to take care of them and be with them was the motivation behind all four of my escapes. Going “cold turkey” has at least let me quit that self-destructive behavior. Visits with family and friends take place behind thick Plexiglas. They can visit me on either Saturday or Sunday for up to two hours. When they do pay me a visit, we have to use a handset to talk to one another and all of our conversations are recorded. Hand restraints are
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used whenever staff escort me to a different area of the prison. Hand and leg restraints are used when I go to the medical building. Strip searches are mandatory whenever I leave my cell. If you have a problem with nudity, the Texas prison system is not the place for you. Solitary confinement is designed to weaken and destroy a human being. It’s a perverse form of retribution. Over the years, I’ve known 21 men that have died by suicide from hanging, cutting their jugular vein or femoral artery or overdosing on prescription medications. The sign of impending suicide is usually when a prisoner throws all of their personal property out of their cell. Other than that, they are typically quiet about their intentions until it is too late. I’ve also witnessed hundreds of self-mutilations. Cutters will shred their arms, legs, face or neck. Some have cut out their testicles and thrown them out onto the floor outside their cell. A death row inmate once plucked out both of his eyes. I have not been immune to the effects of 22-plus years of solitary. About four years ago, I was diagnosed with recurrent major depression and prescribed Prozac. My body is now broken in more ways than I can list, with my spine and hips the chief casualties due to the discomfort of my surroundings—no chair, nothing to support my back except the cell walls—and the restrictions placed on my movement. I am obese because of the poor quality of the food I’m given and the near-impossibility of exercise. Were my survival instincts weaker, I too might have succumbed to selfharm. Long ago, before and in anticipation of my first stretch in prison, I once tried to take my own life.
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These days, every ounce of my energy is invested in staying alive and sane. Unlike others, I’m blessed with the love of my family and friends. Linda and David, my best friends from Houston, come to visit me nearly every weekend. My friend Helen visits me twice a year from Oslo, Norway. My daughter, Stephanie, travels from the East Coast several times a year so she can spend time with her dad. She deserves all of the credit for my
“Society tends to view anything that happens to inmates in prison as no more than they deserve. Prisoners, however, aren’t necessarily evil or beyond redemption. All too frequently they are just people who were dealt a bad hand in life and played it the best way, or the only way, they knew how.” change in behavior. It’s because of her that I stopped trying to escape. The power a daughter has over her father is strong. She helped me see that my actions weren’t just hurting me, they were hurting her as well. All of my escapes had been acts of unthinking selfishness. In order for me to stop hurting the ones I love, they had to stop. The movie “I Love You Phillip Morris” (originally a book), a cou-
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‘Graybar Hotel’
Black & Pink News
What Jim Carrey’s Movie About Me Didn’t Show
continued from page 7
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sorrow for the murder he committed. Nevertheless, Kenneth Bowman—the brother of Dawkins’ victim—told The New York Times that he believed any money Dawkins earned should go to the Bowman family or to charity. He also told the Detroit News not only that he wished Michigan had a death penalty but that he would volunteer to execute Dawkins himself.
ple of Discovery Channel documentaries, and now my new book, Life After Phillip Morris, have generated thousands of kind and thoughtful letters from all over the world. They have played a big part in helping me stay sane. Writing books with notable journalists, the first with Steve McVicker and the second with Laurence Watts, has been a fantastic way to maintain my mental health here in solitary. Both of these men have challenged me to become a better writer and person. They’ve also given me time to consider who I am and how I got here. It’s a daily battle though, full of regret, flashbacks, self-doubt, paranoia, boredom, self-loathing, questioning and futility. There are days when I break down and cry. My daily life, if you can call it that, is barely worth living. It is only the future that gives me hope. I’m now almost 61 years old. Do I belong in prison? Yes, I do. I understand and accept why I’m here. I most definitely do not belong in solitary, however. That is a cruel and unusual punishment completely disproportionate to my crimes. It’s also unnecessary. Setting aside my decision to give up trying to escape, escaping is now a physical impossibility for me. My spine is now so impacted that I have to be pushed around in a wheelchair whenever I leave my cell. Escaping also makes no sense now that I have served so much time. Because all of my crimes were nonviolent, I may make it out of here legitimately one
Many states forbid prisoners from profiting off stories of their crimes by diverting any proceeds earned to the victim’s family. Shortly after that, the Michigan Attorney General’s office filed suit seeking 90 percent of Dawkins’ proceeds from his book to defray his incarceration costs, which were calculated at $372,000 thus far. The state is also seeking any future royalties and earnings. Michigan is one of at least 40 states with laws that force prisoners to pay the cost of
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August/September 2018
day, on parole. That is an infinitely better option for me than trying to escape again. In my opinion, solitary confinement should only be reserved for the most violent of inmates and should never be used for more than two years at a time. It destroys the human spirit. Put simply, it makes men mad. It is the only legal form of torture in today’s prison system, but it’s a slow maltreatment of the body and mind that, in the short run at least, leaves no visible signs. That’s why it’s permitted. Plus, society tends to view anything that happens to inmates in prison as no more than they deserve. Prisoners, however, aren’t necessarily evil or beyond redemption. All too frequently they are just people who were dealt a bad hand in life and played it the best way, or the only way, they knew how. If we expect prison to rehabilitate offenders or if we expect inmates to reintegrate into society once they have done their time, the less broken they are when they finally come out, the easier that will be. Steven Jay Russell is a gay, four-time prison escapee, conman, and thief, currently serving a 144year prison sentence for nonviolent crime. The first half of his life was made into the film “I Love You Phillip Morris,” which starred Jim Carrey as Steven and Ewan McGregor as his boyfriend, Phillip. Steven Russell’s new book “Life After Phillip Morris,” which carries on from where the film ends, was published on July 13, and is available exclusively on Amazon.
Volume 9, Issue 5
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Shannon Daves is the lead plantiff in a bail lawsuit against Dallas County.
Fighting Secret Bail Hearings continued from page 7 some of its poorest people without any meaningful inquiry into their ability to pay. In February, Dallas County started providing arrestees with a brief assessment of their financial resources before declaring a bail amount. The county has not said whether the lawsuit had anything to do with the decision. The head plaintiff, Daves, was arrested in January for shoplifting and charged with a misdemeanor. Daves, who is 47, unemployed and homeless, was sent to Dallas County Jail, where the magistrate judge set bail at $500. The hearing barely lasted twenty seconds. Of the roughly 5,000 people who populate the Dallas County jail on any given day, only 23 percent have managed to post bail so far this year. “Bail hearings feel like calling customer service where the employees have charts with set instructions,” Daves said. “Judges are only concerned with getting you booked
into the system. It’s all so impersonal.” Daves, who is transgender, could not pay. She was sent to 24-hour solitary confinement in the men’s unit of the jail. Dallas County officials, including both magistrate and elected judges, the assistant district attorney representing the county, and the sheriff’s department, declined requests for comment. The Dallas County case largely mirrors the ongoing Harris County class action lawsuit in which a federal court judge in April 2017 found the county bail system for people charged with low-level crimes to be unconstitutional. Chief Judge Lee H. Rosenthal of the United States District Court for the Southern District of Texas declared the bail system to be disproportionately affecting the poor, stating that it was an “absolute deprivation of their most basic liberty interests—freedom from incarceration.” Bail schedules, according to the court, help judges determine the
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price of bonds for misdemeanors and felonies. “Magistrate judges are told not to deviate from the schedules,” Elizabeth Rossi, the lead attorney from Civil Rights Corps, said. “Those who can pay the amount get out and those who can’t are stuck in jail. Typically arrestees, after spending days or weeks in jail, end up pleading guilty on their first court dates and take sentences of time served so they can get out.” The Dallas suit alleges that because of the county’s reliance on bail schedules “arrestees do not get any meaningful opportunity to challenge bail amounts for days or weeks depending on their charge.” Prior to facing magistrate judges, arrestees were not offered financial affidavits to fill out, investigators from the Civil Rights Corps found. These documents are crucial in helping judges decide what bail a defendant can afford. Most of the plaintiffs in the lawsuit are homeless. Since the suit was filed, recent arrestees say they have been given financial affidavits to fill out, but they were still given bail amounts beyond their means.“ Arrestees in Harris County were not being asked about their indigency status and people with mental health were not being given due consideration,” said Brianna Brown, deputy director of the Texas Organizing Project. “That really kicked started the conversation around how do we challenge the system.” In a January email to Brittany White, a Faith in Texas organizer, the sheriff’s office said that “due to logistics and security concerns” they could not open up the hearings. “When the community or a person’s family is able to be present with them at their hearings, they’re not just seen as another arrestee but actually as a person,” White said.
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August/September 2018
It’s a Disease, Not a Crime: It’s Time To Repeal HIV Criminalization Laws continued from page 6 quiring any opportunistic diseases. While this is not a cure, an individual who is diagnosed early, accesses antiretroviral therapy (ART), and adheres to treatment can live a normal life expectancy because the virus is kept at bay. And growing number of HIV-positive people in the United States, close to 60%, are virally suppressed. Hence the importance of testing. ART also has preventive benefits since it is impossible for a virally suppressed person to inspired to
Between 2008 and 2015, there have been at least 226 reported prosecution cases based on state laws that either directly or indirectly deem the potential and the unlikely transmission of HIV a crime, rising to at least 279 cases by the end of 2016. transmit the virus. This evidenced had led to the development the community message spearheaded by the Prevention Action Campaign that “Undetectable equals Untransmittable” (“U=U”). The U=U slogan and message have been espoused by myriad non-governmental organizations around the world. New York City’s Department of Health and Mental Hygiene was the first
government entity to sign on to the U = U consensus statement, along with hundreds of other research, community-based and activist organizations. HIV criminalization laws fail to account for the benefits bestowed by modern HIV treatment. These laws prosecute HIV-positive individuals for acts of consensual protected or unprotected sex, spitting, or biting—with the underlying notion that blood saliva or semen are “biological weapons,” as dangerous as a firearms. Between 2008 and 2015, there have been at least 226 reported prosecution cases based on state laws that either directly or indirectly deem the potential and the unlikely transmission of HIV a crime, rising to at least 279 cases by the end of 2016. New Jersey is one such state. Under the state’s diseased persons statute, a twentyyear-old man living with HIV was charged for having sexual relations with two women without disclosing his HIV status in March, 2010; he was sentenced for four years. In other states with such laws, court rulings are even more severe. For example, in Iowa, a 34-yearold person living with HIV, who had been convicted for “knowingly spreading HIV,” pled guilty to two counts of reckless exposure of a contagious disease not resulting in transmission, and received a year in jail and credit for time served. And even in states without specific HIV criminalization laws like New York, the presence of HIV increases penalties: an HIV-positive man was sentenced for 10 years for aggravat-
ed assault for biting a police officer in 2006. While these laws were likely enacted with gay men in mind, in fact the majority of prosecutions are of heterosexual men. Since 2012 with the issuance of The Oslo Declaration, which called for an end of prosecution for HIV non-disclosure, there have been repeated attempts both in the United States and globally to undermine these laws. Yet they persist. HIV criminalization laws fail to account for the advances we have made in treating and controlling HIV in the last two decades. These laws may deter people from testing for HIV, running counter to current care strategies, locally and globally, that encourage testing, treatment, and viral suppression. Additionally, no other transmittable disease, such as Ebola, is subject to such criminal prosecution. Our handling of HIV is based on antiquated understandings of the disease and stigma that persists in our society targeting HIV-positive and LGBTQ people. Public health departments and activists should work to educate the populace about the current state of HIV treatment, and HIV criminalization laws in the United States, and in this regard encourage legislators to repeal, and courts to overturn, HIV criminalization laws. In the meantime, prosecutors should use their discretion to not bring cases pursuant to these laws. Not only are these recommendations evidence-based, but they are rooted in social justice that underpin public health paradigms and values.
Volume 9, Issue 5
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wrote the paper, said depriving a prisoner of his freedom and then charging him for it “raises cruel and unusual punishment issues.”
“[Dawkins] put his talents to productive use in a way that’s making the world a better place. It’s something that we as a society should be 100% supportive of.” Sharon Dolovich, Director, Prison Law and Policy Program, UCLA Law
“The Graybar Hotel,” a collection of stories set in prison, was published by Scribner in 2017 while author Curtis Dawkins was incarcerated in Michigan.
‘Graybar Hotel’ Author Fights MI Lawsuit Seeking Proceeds continued from page 14 their own imprisonment, though because most are poor or indigent, efforts to collection such costs are rare. During its last fiscal year, Michigan collected approximately $3.7 million from less than 300 of its almost 40,000 prisoners. In 2015, after serving a 15-month sentence for a drug offense, Illinois paroled a prisoner who was left nearly penniless because the state seized most of a $31,690 settlement he had received following his mother’s death.
Florida prisoner Jeremy Barrett received a $150,000 settlement from the corrections department in 2011 for having his eye gouged out by another prisoner—then was immediately forced to return $55,000 to cover the costs of his three-year sentence. The Brennan Center for Justice published a 2015 paper that argued “it is unreasonable to require a population whose debt to society is already being paid by the sentences imposed, 80% of whom are indigent, to help foot the bill.” Lauren-Brooke Eisen, a senior lawyer at the Brennan Center who
While he fights the state’s lawsuit, Dawkins’ prison trust fund account has been seized and he is now allowed only $25 a month for his personal needs. The rest of his advance fee from Scribner was frozen, since Michigan has demanded that the publisher cease all payments pending the outcome of the litigation. “He put his talents to productive use in a way that’s making the world a better place,” said Sharon Dolovich, director of the University of California at Los Angeles Law School’s prison law and policy program. “It’s something we as a society should be 100% supportive of.” Dawkins, who remains at the Lakeland Correctional Facility in Coldwater, said he cannot afford an attorney and is representing himself. He is planning his defense strategy around a Michigan law that requires courts to “consider any legal and moral obligation that the defendant has to support children and a spouse.” State officials have contended that Dawkins has “no right to transfer the funds to his family.”
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Black & Pink News
August/September 2018
Letters, Poetry from Our B&P Family Dear Black and Pink, Hi fam :) my name is Jenna I’m a 22 year old male to female transgender, currently finishing up my last 16 months on a 4 piece here in TCDJ. I’m sitting in solitary today as I write this letter waiting to be shipped to my new unit. I am being moved because I was drugged and sexually assaulted by a rather prominent high “ranking” gang member on this unit, so yeah safety issues and all that. Since being here in Seg the last week I’ve had lots of time to sit and think, lots of random stuff going on in my brain it’s like all the news channels at once, on acid, after being up for 48 hours. So yea, stressed out random thoughts, but one thing that keep coming to mind over and over again, is all my brothers and sisters out there who are going through the same thing but are afraid to speak up about it. At first I was afraid to tell anyone what happened. I told one of my sisters on the dorm and she urged me to go to the officers with it, so I did. After I was scared that I’d done wrong by telling on the guy and yeah I felt like I was a snitch because of it but this week I had to be escorted to medical for blood test to make sure I didn’t get anything from “him”. Well, i passed two of my sister one told me “You did the right thing by speaking up I’d have done the same thing.” and the other told me she was “proud of me for being brave enough to admit that something happened and get help.” So now I’m not gonna lie I’m glad I brought it to light and to all my family out there don’t be afraid to tell someone they have to help you if there is a real problem, don’t be
afraid to ask for help. SPEAK UP! Because it might just save your life. I love you all and I hope you all will stand in solidarity when things like this happen to our family around us.
because I lost my dad to cancer 2 years ago. I look forward to hearing from others. And will respond to all letters. Thank you for taking time to read this.
Sincerely, Yours in Solidarity,
Always Love, DJ (CO)
Jenna (TX) PS I learned today that I contracted Hep C from this incident. I’m sad yea but I’m so very happy I didn’t end up with something much worse. Dear Black and Pink, Hello there fam I hope that blessings come to all who are able to read this. I am a long time reader of B&P but this is my first time writing. Let me introduce myself. My name is Donny Jay but I am mostly known by Storm. I am 37 years old, gay, and have been residing in the Colorado Department of Corrections for 18 years. I have known since I was at a very early age that I was attracted to the same sex. I had grown up in a very small town in Florida (population 189) and I always had problems because being gay was wrong and unaccepted. It had taken me a long time to be comfortable enough with myself to accept who I truly am. I was afraid to come out to my family because I had seen so many families disown someone because of their sexual preference. It was not until I had wound up in prison when I had told my family and to my surprise they completely accepted me being gay. Now I am fighting another fight. I was recently diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer and I am freaking out
What’s up this the kid Marcus? Well I’m just sitting here in this cell thinking why can’t I come out the closet, I love transgender women, but I still can’t come out. Back in April, I tried to commit suicide (overdose), because I felt so alone and abandoned. Like nobody gave a damn about me. Until this day, I still feel like that, I wish Black and Pink good luck on their success maybe. I should be coming off Gs and making parole this November 2nd, I already made a promise to myself, as soon as I get to Ft Worth jump off the trinity river....I just wish I could come out man, I always felt some way when I was 13 years old, but I never got to experience it until 17 years old...I have tried everything that I can, 1st I’ve done went back to my old religion (Buddhism), so I can find myself during meditation, but the unit that I’m at JA, don’t have my religion. Sometimes I be wanting to give up, because I know no one is going to accept a person like me...I have dreams that I want to complete, but I know I’m a young 22 year old that can’t come out. PS Rosalyn L (MD), I hope they let you get your religion on Ms. Beautiful. Marcus (TX)
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Volume 9, Issue 5
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My Black and Pink Family!
Hi,
Dear Black & Pink
Here are some of my recipes. First off is the Boneless Chicken Breast/ Wings. I eat white meat! I put them (both) in the oven to bake with some Shake-n-Bake sprinkled on top, with lemon juice poured around it and half of an onion and green bell pepper cut up in small pieces. It gives it flavor!
My name is Nija. But they call me solo, but you can call me by your favorite choice if you’d like. I am writing you about your Black and Pink newspaper submission. And I am also asking you to help me get started on my music track carrier that I am working on. I could really use you, and your assistance! I saw in your articles, poems, and art newspaper submission ad where it listed those 3 titles, and I think art would be my music and stories, and this is why I am saying music will be my stories is because that is the best way I can explain my life, stories, and situations.
I pray and hope you receive this small note and card everyone be blessed with the greatness of God.
Then I do a fruit salad: a green whole lettuce I cut up really small in a bowl, with chopped up strawberries, tomatoes, raspberries, apples, raisins, egg whites (only), walnuts, bacon bites, croutons, American cheese (yellow), and sweet oil to top it off. Pasta (white) with butter melted on top with a little salt and green parsley leaves on top. A slice of rich cheesecake with diced strawberries on top. A delicious treat! This is my full-course meal in society. My story: I had an incident here with a “so-called” gang member back in June 2017. I got cut on my face above and under my left eye. And the security staff here told me I didn’t have enough evidence to show them. So they denied me protective custody (PC). So I will be placed back out in open population. My life and safety are now in danger! But this is a risk I must take now. I knew it would happen to me. This is Martin CI/Murder Insane, right? Well, family, keep me in your heart and prayers because haters are everywhere. Love you all, De’anna Tha’ Doll (FL)
Why I say music would be my art is because, I believe I am very talented in what, and how I do my music, and also deliver my message and define many other things. I am so dedicated to my music, that I have written over 1023 songs or more. And I am writing this letter because I think you are the person to help me accomplish my goal/goals into the music industry. God would not have me write to you for nothing. Thanks, and God Bless! Nija (MS) Les envio un caluroso saludo desde lo mas profundo de mi corazon para todos(as) mis hermonos(as) LGBT Recuerden... No nos preocupemos por las espinas que crecen en las rosas y demos mas bien las gracias por las rosas que crecen entre espinas. Alfredo (OH)
I received the wonderful cards from Shelley and Sunshine which I was very happy because I have been alone for a very long time, since my mom past away 2014. My girlfriend left me because the sentence was too much 19 years. However I am in the process of proving my innocence in a 440 motion. I am happy that theirs wonderful people out there that actually cares for people like myself and honestly I am innocent but the system is cruel and any matter, I have been sad for a long time and being alone for the holidays is not a good thing. I often pray to find someone good in my life but it has really been impossible but I guess is ok and I thank Black & Pink for not forgetting me. The New York State Prison is very cruel on all genders and is something that I want to fight because N.Y.S. is killing us slowly, the medical, the officers abusive manner towards inmates is so incredible that is out of control. Green Haven is one of the worst officers here do what they want against inmates. In the last year over six inmates of this prison have died because medical does not provide any help. Anyway thank you and my love and respect to all at Black & Pink. God Bless, Frankie (NY)
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Good day! My name is Ramona Anne and I’m a prisoner here in California Institute for Women of California Department of Corrections. You name it, here in California I’ve been incarcerated there. I’m not in my twentys, but lets be real who is? I can afford my age, plus some. I’m incarcerated behind a man putting his hands on me when I was newly “29” years old. I didn’t do anything out of the extraordinary, since I was within my bounds of what a girl does when she is in fear of her life. But you see, I happen to live in a state {California} that has no self-defence law. So I came here looking for repeal, but the lawlibrarian out here took the reighns. And carriaged myself strait until the river. I have lived my life like taken from a baby, because come to think about it, I’m grateful I’ve had the time to think over everything about my life’s future, so that I might continue on in a more life affirmative way. With a needless opportunity -- helping all the more peoples as I can...It’s made it to my attention that since reading the Bible, all within a week, somehow it has rendered me an attitude that can never be stolen from. And that is that God loves me, and so do others. Our lifes journey is a mirror that can’t be chipped, a drink that never loses its fizzle, and a sixth sense God/Jesus loves us no matter what. In other words, “Its gonna be alright. Nothing’s going to happen that can’t be cured, no hair too short it can’t grow back... And remember, by the time we’ll have been realized ourselves, we’ll have done two or three more good deeds, just as if it is in that, earning is sometimes self professional.”
Black & Pink News
Inside is the houses of the holy, our imaculate bodys perfume. We can smell the way our attitude will carry us. The surprisingest fact of all is that God is within us, as does the idea he will us his all. And if we pray to him, he will render us his all so that we can go on getting the more commodities to explain our faith. So do right, do loveingly, and be generous where you can. Until I put pencil and pen to paper again. Be good, take care, God bless.
August/September 2018
all to shift your focus away from the problem to the ones who can give you good advice, answers, solutions, or next steps to take. Family find your happiness and what makes you happy, your life is just as precious as anyone else. And know that if you have faith in yourself, you don’t have to live up to or down to anyone else’s expectations, faith in yourself allows you to truly own who you are. LGBTQ we all are BEAUTIFUL. Well until next time I’ll be praying for you beautiful people.
Sincerely, Ramona A. (CA)
Sincerely yours, King B.R. 2 Star (PA)
Dear Black and Pink,
Black + Pink Family Members,
Thank you for all you do for us LGBTQ family. Your hard work is appreciated, you make things so much better for the LGBTQ community, with your open arms, extended hands and unconditional love and support. When I think about Black and Pink and Hearts on a Wire etc. it’s an empowerment to see and hear people come together to help, support, care and love each other equally. In 1956 Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. fought against the same racism we face today history repeat itself, but as long as we have unity we will thrive and prosper. Let me tell you all as a man who embrace his sexuality, it’s not easy for me or men like me, why because the world is so judgemental and homophobic. I have to fight a war just because I’m being myself and not what ever one else think I should be. Some might think it’s exaggerated but it’s not it’s my reality I face every day. The only things that helps me keep my sanity is the faith I have in God and the loving LGBTQ community that I so dearly love. I encourage you
This is your brother PRINCE BRAD, a.k.a. “BADD BRAD.” A Lifetime member, first time writer.. I have been down for 23 flat years. I’ve done everything there is to do in prison. I’ve even spent time on Death Row doing time in Seg. for hustling with cell phones. Caught dope cases, been indicted and signed for more time! But nothing compares to NOT BEING FED FOR 5 DAYS! I’m on special cell restriction for 30 days. I have to stay in the cell 24 hours a day. I’m only allowed to take a shower (sometimes). However, I write a grievance about my foot tray/meal not being complete, and as retaliation they intentionally and knowing refuse to fed me for 5 days. It’s all on HD SECURITY CAMERA VIDEO FOOTAGE, and yes! I have filed another grievance, but that takes 45 days or longer! Will somebody please call down here and notify the WARDENS that I am not being fed? I’m down with the struggle, and the LGBTQ community, but enough is ENOUGH! It’s hard
Volume 9, Issue 5
enough dealing with a positive status, but to not be fed properly for 5 days! This S.O.S. LETTER may get mysteriously lost in the mailroom, but I felt it was worth a chance to call on my BLACK + PINK FAMILY MEMBERS. I love you ALL! Big shout out to Fluffy! I miss you dearly my friend. Billy (TX) Black & Pink family, Hey there fam; It’s Jasmine, A.K.A. “B2” from Indiana. I think about my brothers and sisters around the world and pray for them. I know I struggle on a daily basis. For the ones of us in prison it gets quite lonely at times. For me this is one of them times. I’ve recently been moved to a new housing unit in which I’m not exactly accepted it’s more like shunned. I’m a very social person and I’m in this unit I have no one to interact with. Even my bunky don’t speak to me. It is kinda driving me crazy. I got moved from my old housing unit because I was being sexually advanced on by my bunky and I was uncomfortable with him doing so. Instead of them moving him they moved me the Transgender. They know the struggles we go through with other inmates so when we are in a unit that accepts us we don’t want to move. Even though I requested not to be moved and explained why; the captain still moved me, “the victim,” instead of him. I’ve spoke to several staff trying to get off this unit but they all say... “Until you get physically assaulted your staying here!” I’ve got not only inmates against me but staff as well. I don’t know what to do. I am getting depressed being so lonely
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lately. These guys have their gang member friends to socialize with but us Trans/gay only have the few others on the camp. I was housed with two of my sisters, Gomez, and Merritt, before I was moved to this new unit. If I was to say there are only fifteen of us Trans on this camp of three thousand. I’m sure there are many many closet gays but they only come out behind closed doors. We all have dealt with them before. I don’t mess with them kind. Unless your willing to be open I ain’t got time for ya. Don’t get me wrong there has been a few that I begged to be open and be with me but they just wasn’t ready. I’m the type of gal whom don’t wait around playing games; I move on. I want to say to the “closet gays”... If your gay quit hiding it, it’s your happiness your missing out on. Concerning the people around you they will either accept you or shun you. But the ones you get accepted by are truly the type of people you want in your life anyway. The ones whom shun you won’t even bring anything positive to your life anyway. So I encourage you to be real to yourself. Don’t live for others live for you!! Thank you family for listening to me rant my feelings. Love you all, Jasmine A.K.A. “B2” (IN) Hello, how are you? Thank you for sending me the post card, I didn’t think I was going to hear from you all! By the way my family has turn their backs on me due to me being a Gay male! I can’t help that I like a man that is like a woman. But I am on a lock down program due to an officer disrespecting me! All I do is read books. This the first letter I have gotten since I have been in
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prison. I was shock when the officer pass it to me! Tell me about N.Y.C. I hear its a great place! The same to you on wishing you and your family happy holidays. I am fighting my case to hope I get a new trial! All due to a woman, because I wouldn’t give her any drugs! Then I have to fight these guys in prison due to my charges! But now I know what I do now, I am fighting for my freedom! Well it was glad to hear from you all, be safe and enjoy the holidays! L.G.B.TQ. 4 Lyfe, K.D. (GA) To my B&P Fam, My name is Katrina and I am a 36 year old Lesbian in the Wisconsin Dept of Corrections. I was bi-sexual since I was 12 years old. I tried to be “straight” and got married and had children, but something was always missing. I have always been attracted to women and their beauty. Obviously, this was something my husband couldn’t fulfill. I tried over and over to complete this void with a total of 3 marriages to men and 5 children. None prevailed. I began dating only woman and that little piece inside me that no man could fit began feeling better. This is my 3 time in prison and am doing a 7 1/2 year sentence. I have been here a little over 3 years now. I’ve had a girlfriend here and there but nothing to serious. Then this past year I met an angel. This beautiful amazing woman who has made me whole. We became fast friends about 3 years ago but had never confessed our try feelings for each other. Since the middle of
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Black & Pink News
August/September 2018
More Words from Black & Pink Family 2017, our friendship has blossomed into genuine true love. We are perfect halves to each other. The end of Oct 2017 a major tragedy happened. My girl’s 6 year old daughter was put in ICU with complete heart failure. She ran to my room crying, having a major meltdown. All of a sudden, the C.O. was knocking at the door! Busted! She hid under the bed and by the grace of god the C.O. did not see her! After the C.O. left I went back in my room and she snuck back out. The following day, we were taken to the hole for her being in my cell. I got a major conduct report and 60 days in the hold, which is where I write this from, now. My angel needed me and I was there and I’d do it again. She needed someone, a hug. Nov. they decided to take her daughter off life support. Instead of letting her talk to me because we might “touch” each other, they put her in an observation cell with no clothes, no nothing, and a keep separate order between her and I. These places are more concerned with who has a girlfriend than anything else. You can fight and seriously hurt someone and still be right by them. But if you have a girlfriend! You won’t even be in the same building. Human Beings need comfort, compassion, to be touched, consoled. Not a criminal though I
guess. We are a different species that need to be isolated, confined, and restricted from feeling common emotions. So as the drugs keep flowing in the prison, and people are OD’ing and committing suicide, and becoming more mentally disfigured, don’t be LGBTQ. That’s the main focus here. I will be separated from my angel now because of all this, and continually harassed by the officers for it. D.O.C. needs to focus on the real issues of drugs & violence instead of who is actually finding a little bit of happiness in this concrete hell. No matter what, my angel and I grow stronger in our bond and in our love. That’s one thing they can’t ever take away from us. Much love, Katrina (WI) LGBTQ What’s good family!?!? Hashtag Rainbow’s up in this Thang -- BANG! BANG! (ya heerrre me?!? I thought they know; mostdidn’t-get-the-memo. Ha! Bi as ever, fly as ever, and just way too damn clever. But I ain’t gone wake ‘em up. Let ‘em continue to sleep on us if they want to. Let ‘em sleep and may they rest in peace family. Cuz this LGBTQ movement ain’t just sayin sumthin. We making noise (HOLLIN IT’S A FREIGHT TRAIN COMIN!) . And it’s shinin with beautiful rainbow colors. Now
yall tell me sum’ fam’, who ya wit!? LOL! (R.I.P. Bernie Mac) OOOW let me slow down yall (Wish I WOULD). It feels so good to be bi and out wit it fam’ly! And guess who I owe all the honors to? (YOU DAMN RIGHT!) . LGBTQ family. I ain’t never felt this free in my life. Ain’t never been nobody. But I”m a musician (singer/songwriter/ performer) and always wanted to be sum’body making music for “us”. Like Sam Smith but with a Slick Rick twist cuz (La de da de we likes to party.) LOL! So Black & Pink LGBTQ representees, yall gotta turn me up one time and post my submission (Fa’sho!) Ah hell, I’m so excited, I ain’t even told the fam’ly who I IS (LOL!) . This the #(SUPREME LOVER DEITY) FAMILY. And I”m born Erick Kale D. (Don’t be making fun of my middle name, my mother loved kale okay). I’m from the triple-D (Dallas, TX). But of course yall know I’m currently doing a bid. I’m on the J. Montford Psych Unit here in Lubbock, TX cuz I had to lose my damn mind to find my mind (LOL!). No seriously, tho’ Fam’ly, I’m over here cuz I had to try and kill myself to get away from a life or death situation on the J. Allred unit in Wichita Falls TX. Where I was assaulted by gas in my sleep. Due to me filing L.I.D., O.P.I, & staff complaint on a ranking official for threatening me and putting my life in danger with ex gang affiliates. And since I filed 1983 civil suit on him & C.O. Justice Hayes who actually assaulted me in my sleep and lied sayin he
Volume 9, Issue 5
sprayed me cuz I was trying to hang myself with a sheet but there was no sheets, blanket nor property in cell. (HELLO!) . Anyway I’ve been retaliated on, threats on my life and assaulted. And I’m filing the 1983 myself cuz my family has I guess disowned me. I’m not gone lie family I’m learning this legal mess as I go. They say it’s pending so obviously I’m doing sumthin right (huh?). I done received all kinds of bogus major cases from COs to stop me making parole on 9.11.18, cuz everywhere I go J. Allred Unit sends word out. And the retaliation starts up wherever I go. And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see it. But what choices do I have family? I know it’s to provoke me so they can beat me up. And I refuse to let ‘em put a hand on me. It’s crazy yall but it’s more assaults I’ve suffered and I’ll be filing suits on that too. They retaliated again by not feeding me and slamming my arm in food slot. No use of force was done and guess what Fam’ly (it’s all on camera)! I’m also a mental patient and A.D. (American Disabled patient with arthritis and have been refused treatment, surgery, and therapy. (Oh yes, Family.) . So, I need some help filing. If any pro bono lawyers are reading this. Anways I was just shoutin out to let all my LGBTQ Family know your struggle is my struggle & your pain is my pain, your love is my love and your happiness is my happiness. Not just one of you but the whole body of LGBTQ Fam’ as 1! Cuz we are 1! And don’t any of you ever forget that. I love you all Fam’ly. Tootles Erick Kale D. (TX)
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Hola hermanos y hermanas de Black & Pink, Les deseo a todos un feliz año y que Diosito les llene a todos de paz, amor, y mucha salud. Los amo a todos. Bueno, quiero expresar todo lo que siento y es que ustedes. Son una verdadera familia y estoy con ustedes 100% y dios lo sabe que daría mi vida si es posible para defender nuestros derechos. Felicito a todos los hermanos y hermanas al igual mis respeto porque son y somos valiente al luchar y pelear por lo que queremos. Somos seres humanos y respeto la opinión de cada uno, pero repudio la hipocresía a la gente cobarde que solo sirve jugar y vivir el perjuicio, pero al mismo tiempo de todo esto me da lastima. Cuando me encuentro con alguien que se niega a si mismo y no aceptan lo que es en este caso. Hablo de varios compañeros aquí in esta cárcel de Connecticut al igual otros lugares que hablan y critican a los gay--cuando ellos mismo lo son. No se si me pueden entender. Yo soy muy bueno con letras pero yo soy Gay/Bi y me gusta lo mejor de los 2 mundos. Con esto los dejo Dios los bendiga a todos. Los amo. Besos y abrazos. Muuuuuuah, L.D. (CT) Dear Black and Pink, Hey everybody! This is the Realest Gay King of all times! I just got a hold of the September 2017 issue and I’ma say I was amazed by some, and I wanted to reach out to you all. For everyone who is going though
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something, I want you to think about this, you is going through what you are going through is because you put yourself in that place, we all just have to face it, and just try to move on and do right. Y’all, please, never make the same mistakes twice in life! If y’all keep making the same mistakes then that should tell you something is wrong with you. I have been locked up for 10 years out here in Texas, now. And I seen this Queen got out of TDCJ Jail twice, came to this same place three times. For the same stuff. Jail is not a good place for y’all Queens. I am a man, I’m a Top. Yes I got turned out in jail, but I’m not ashamed, because everyone who’s come to prison finds their self. I have a uncle who’s been gay all his life, he’s a bottom. He used to come up to me and say he had a hard time finding love, it took him 49 years to find love. Thanks to me, I put the perfect match together. Not only I did that, over the years I then help out so many Queens from bottoms to tops. I’m from New Orleans, I ain’t never been scared of nothing in life. When I first had sex with a Queen I never turned back, I never hide, I told my homeboys. They use to make fun of me about being gay. I wanted everybody to know, I had a lot of fights about it my first few years, then people to started to respect my gangsta. Every unit I go to, all the man be sneaking around on the low with the Queens and have to hide, but I then made a way for all these dudes. I’m the one who open the doors up for all the gangstas to come out the closet. Real talk, I’m at the Gib Lewis unit, and it’s a lot of Queens over here, at first none of them didn’t have
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no boyfriends, a few was running behind me, OK, I can’t have them all, I know. I’m fine and sexy and all, but come on now, I need some help. A lot of undercover dudes use to come ask me what’s up. Crips, bloods, GDs, VLs, and all, woods, and Mexicans as well, I made all these dudes man up and take control of their own life. They all was falling in love with these QUeens, but was scared of what other people would do or say about them. They seen how the whole unit respect me and still love me. I told them dudes, was you scared to rob people or kill someone, or sell dope to someone, but now you scared to love someone??? You dudes need to wake up, because you can die at anytime, and it will be too late to express your real love. I live my life like it’s my last, every Queen that run into me, falls in love with me, because I make y’all smile, I love all y’all, ya’ll made me who I am now, and now on the Gib Lewis all these dudes is open now, I’m talking about everybody gay now. All the Queens got boyfriends now, thanks to me. Now I’m in trouble, because a Bossman knew I was gay, they waited at the right time and the right place to catch me. I even had a Bossman beat my ass becasue I was out of place talking to a Queen. I didn’t do nothing about it. I put myself in that spot. What can I do, no witness, his word against mine! One day, I’m working real hard in the kitchen and a few dudes was smoking. One person passed out, he needed help, I try to help him, the Bosslady thought we had a fight. Someone else told her no, he just high, she was looking at me and said I’m going to lock you up too. I said, for what? I didn’t do anything
August/September 2018
Black & Pink News
wrong. She hate me because I’m gay, I like all Queens and help them out. So they lock me up and gave me a contraband case (16.0) sayin’ I had drugs on me. She never seen me smoke, she never found anything on me. No evidence at all on me. So I was tryin’ to go to Court and fight my case, they didn’t want to let me go to court, because I was innocent! So they G5 me. I wrote a step 1 and a step 2. Where is my rights? You have to have evidence to give me a case like this. So now I’m stuck G5, I did 4 months, will be 6 months, I’m still looking for help to get my G7 back. They telling me I have to do a year. This is crazy. This is what I get for being who I am. All the BOss’s on this unit knows I’m gay, but it was meant for me to be who I am, because I then help so many people and make so many Gay people happy. And I made a way for a lot of dudes to be open, don’t get me wrong, some had got smashed and beat up cause they young and gangbang but they still alive and okay and yay! :) . Real talk, now the more people that’s open, it will draw more undercovers in the open as well. I then help so many people out, now I need help. I’m G5, and I’m single, I don’t have nobody to write. I have 5 more years to do. I’m about to mess the world up soon as I get out. I don’t want nobody to still all my ideas, but I’ma give y’all one. I’ma start a magazine, a Gay magazine called “Queen$”, I’ma make it look like the Straight Stuntin’ Magazines, but sexy, beautiful and bad Queen$ going to be in it. Rue Paul ain’t gon’ have nothing on me. I want you all to know this, the most beautiful curve on a person’s body
is their smile! :) So keep smilen’ for me, the key to life and to live longer is happiness. I want everybody to try it out for me and I promise you that you will look younger and live longer. Smile every day, and stay happy every day, all day. I’m 28 years old, look like I”m still 22, I never let nothing stress me out or make me mad, even the ones who call me gay behind my back, I say I love them. I learn how to read minds over the years by vibes, but if you shoot out good vibes to people you get good vibes back. If you shoot out negative that’s what will come to you. So for all you Queen, the world have changed for y’all. When I get out I’m a find a way to help all the ones that’s already locked up. You will hear from me again, and y’all will soon know me, because it’s nothing in this world that I can’t do, I will make a way... to be known! If there’s any type of way I can write to any Queen, please let me know. Shout out to JJ, whatever you do, please don’t snitch. Just pray to God, he’ll promise something will come your way. Shoutout to Lisa, shoutout to Rosalyn, shoutout to Gee Gee. I wish I can meet some of y’all. Confidence will take all y’all a very long way in life! I believe that. I am dark brown with a body full of tattoos. People will look at me like I”m a rapper, my good looks and my confidence will push me to the top one day. Love y’all, please stay strong. Love, Christopher A. AKA King Kri$ (TX)
Volume 9, Issue 5
My name is Christian L AKA Hash Got the name from a transgender HomeGirl named Anothony Heads AKA Twan who also Gave me yall’s newspaper that I love so much she is also the one who got me to realize I am bisexual when it comes to feminine transgender I love that she was able to help me find myself out and don’t worry she does not mid me saying her name in this letter we got such a good close bond she got such a great personality witch brings me to the newsletter of October/ November 2017 were it explains what all the sister’s and brother’s have to go through and deal with in prison. I don’t know why people have to be so judgemental they think just because some is into men that when you come to prison that mean you will want any man and think that your up to do anything. That’s not true just like straight people have their prefrences in women gay people have they prefrences and they should not be treated like they are pleasure machine example my Homegirl got a job workiing in the kitchen her first day their some dude that don’t even know her never talk to her before ask her “Do you spit or swallow” he treated her just because she is gay or into men that she would hop right on that you know she is human to with emotions to and she got more self respect than that. I am at the prison and I hang with the transgender’s and gay’s and go to a LGBTQ surport group and get hell for it. Because no one knows that I’m bi you could not tell by looking at me or talking. the only one that knows is my homegirl who I told I have a crush on and my surport group this is new to me. But I’m fine wiht it so to all my brother’s
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and sister’s out their going through it. Keep on keeping on never give up and fight for what you believe in remember only God can judge and he loves you. If he didn’t you would not be here remember good days are coming stay standing and walking tall for your brother’s and sister’s cause the bigger the surport group the harder it is for other’s to denie us of our right and freedom of speech. remember when we fall get back up and do it again utell you overcome it. Two is better than one and three makes the bond stronger remember the lord said tho pain might come in the night joy will come in the morning if you don’t give up. So when yall go through all yall’s trials and tribulations, do it with a smile on yall’s face cause you know you know your reward is coming the day were you will be heard and treated equally. and I want to thank Black and Pink for everything yall done for us because without yall we could not be heard like tay said his voices is are voice. Amen., Christian L. (PA) Black&Pink, Hey friends!!! I just thought I’d write to express a few things! As I write I currently have 32 days left to discharge this 15 year sentence. :-)) My name is Jesikah F.! A Transwoman. And tho I’ve not been “out” all my life, or all my time, I’ve had my share of issues during my incarceration and I choose to write now cause it breaks my heart to see these young transgirls having to deal with these hateful situations thru out this system. My issue goes out to “Isabella” from
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Walla Walla! Everything you wrote makes complete sense. It’s nice to see a girl down for the cause. & all it takes you having to get saucy just to get a point across, you gotta do what your heart desires. Everything we (LGBTQIA) have, we’ve had to fight for. This ain’t came free & its a continuous fight, so Baby, you better file them nails & get ready for the war. Our fight is not always physical, & you are on the right track. Put that pen to work & file that paperwork. If they hate you for it, oh well, cause you know what, you’re making a difference for yourself & for all the girls that come after you. It’s gonna storm before it shines! As you say, “wounded I may be, weak I am not” you’re only weak if you have no defense. & you have a heart. That’s all the defense you need. So let these boys think what they want, if they don’t “fuck around” then whats they concern. If a person doesn’t like what they see, then they need to find they own business cause us girls got our own, feel me? So this is to the whole B&P family. As long as we stand tall & as one, our situations is as a barrier to slow us down & not a dead end stopping us. With 32 days left to go home, I plan on going out & helping contribute to girls in need as I know our needs in these prisons. So all who need the sincerest support, I am here & willing to help coming October & to start I’ll needing assistance. Feel free to write & express your needs & to my best abilities, in my power I will advocate for you . But a close mouth can not be fed. To all my sisters, keep yalls heads up. Every plant begins with a seed,
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just tend to it & watch it grow. True beauty is within & always remember theres beauty in the struggle. xoxo In sisterhood, Jesikah F. (TX) #TransLivesMatter Dear Black & Pink Family, Hello Gals & Guys, I’m Stephanie a T-girl. Hey :-) . I’m from N.Y. and I’m in prison 11 1/2 hears now with 6 months to go home finally :-) Yay :-) . I’m 33 years old Oct. 22 Yay :-) . Today I was moved by what a LGBT brother was saying in Sep. 2017 issue. But first let me tell you my short story :-) I told my family I was gay at 17 but I was not gay I thought I was and found out I was a transwoman, I hid that b/c I thought people would of not understood me :-) I was right :-) But at 23 years old in 2008 I came out in prison as Steph or Stephanie, happy finally :-) And I grew my hair and did my eyebrows. Shaved my body, & I looked fab :-) . Not to blow my own horn, but the T-girls and boy told me how great I looked :-) But with that came bullys who don’t care about LGBT’s feeling and they do things to make us feel less than and lots of us stay hiding our true selfs to not get hurt :-( . Guess what that hurts us to, to hide our true selfs :-( And I understand some of us need to stay hid. Do what you need to, to live safe in prison :-) . We don’t have a lot of support in here I know that :-) . But hold your heads up this is not our end :-) . Remember last month we got the Black & Pink that helps us understand the grievance policies, transgender policies, & prea policies, use them when needed :-) . Think about every your going to
August/September 2018
Black & Pink News
say, and be sure you do research on the things that need to be done so you get it right :-) . No means no always :-) Also testing is a must HIV/AIDS is real :-) Know your status :-) and if the person your hooking up with don’t got his or her status tell them to get it or no go :-) . Your life is worth more than anything :-) As Si said we don’t stick together and we need to, word :-) . I know I don’t get along with a lot of T-girls but we all need to come together :-) For all of you girls who I hurt know I’m sorry and I still love y’all :-) . Let’s fight the system to get it running the way its suppose to :-) . Us LGBTs have rights and we are worth fighting for them :-) . I’m going home soon and I will be getting a P.O. box to be able to help with support and an outside voice :-) . Plus for the rest of my time in prison if you see me come to me I’ll try and guide you in the right way :-) . If you write your story to Black & Pink I & others can support you through writing as well :-) . I spend lots of my time in the SHU b/c I try and speak up for whats right and stop bullying :-) Now the way I handle things is not always the right way but sometimes I get heard better that way :-) If someone is being picked on if you can’t stop the bully, talk to the victim be there friend even if your not cool with that person :-) Always remember we have all needed someone to save us and no one came, let’s change that today :-) Love, loyalty, & respect Stephanie (NY) Dear Black and Pink, My name is Joshua and I’m a Bisexual man in MDOC. I’ve
known I was different since I was 11. I came out to my family when I was 17, and my family supported me. When I came to prison, I thought my life was over. I was convicted of murder 2nd degree, and sentenced to 27 to 60 years. I was depressed, and often thought of suicide, until I met my love, Adam AKA Storm. He pulled me out of my shell and got me looking forward to life again. Then we were split up because the officers felt we had an unhealthy relationship. Anyway, I ended up bouncing to another prison, where I was brutalized for being Bisexual. I was raped, and when I tried reporting it, I was told “that’s what happens to you fags.” That counselor was fired for his dim view on LGBT in prison. I have had a hard road since then, until I was introduced to the Black and Pink magazine earlier this year. I sit here and read how I’m not the only one who is having such a rough time. I agree with Roslayn (MC) saying that using a pen with the know-how is as deadly as a Mak-90. We in the LGBT Nation need to stand up for ourselves by making our respective D.O.C. pay for treating us like crap. My mom always told me to treat bullies all the same. Kill them with kindness. And so when an inmate calls us fags, homos, queers, be proud that you have an effect on people. Don’t retaliate with violence. Ignore them. Same goes for the officers who think themselves above the law. They aren’t Stephen Segall! LOL. Thank you Black and Pink family, you make my life easier. With love, Joshua W. (MI)
Volume 9, Issue 5
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Dear Black and Pink Family,
the end of a Rainbow.
My name is Jason. I am a 30 year old Bisexual white male in T.D.C.J. I will turn 31 on 10-26-17. As this is my first time writing but not my first news article to read, I want to give a shout out to all my L.G.B.T.Q. family, you are all a true inspiration. We all have learned lessons from our prison journey, just remember, you being L.G.B.T.Q. does not classify you as an individual. It is just who you are not what you are that matters most. We all have struggles and I hope everyone can find peace and fulfillment in themselves. I myself came to terms of hiding in the dark to finding themselves through other L.G.B.T.Q. family members. We can all work towards a better life in this world. Just take one step at a time.
I’m able to say what I just did because I’ve been through the rough, I imagine I’ll go through more but I’m alive and stronger for it. You will be too!
Love, Jason (TX) Dear Black and Pink Fam, Blessings to all you reading this. I go by the name “Dire”, and I’ve been incarcerated in the Georgia D.O.C. for over 20 years now. I am 36 years old, I was 16 yrs old when I was arrested. I’ve had a subscription and have been reading B&P for several yrs. now. So, I’ve had a chance to read both the good and bad. Though to some members of the B&P Family it’s a hard knock all around being incarcerated, there is alot to the good being changed on the inside. What I’m trying to get at is, “PLEASE doon’t give up, don’t give in to the darkness that sometimes seems to overwhelm those of use who are LGBTQ!” We are of the Rainbow, and you know what is said to be at
Much love to all the B&P Family, this is coming from Dire down in GA. I Have a Dream My dream is for everyone to be a team Also for everyone to be treated equally as human beings instead of looking at the outside, worried about color How about we look on the inside and get to know one another. All we do is hate eachother, can we learn to love? Love is the only thing that can get us above racism, above discrimination, above prejudice and above expectation. How about we put all of this behind us and leave it in the past so the next generation can respect each other and learn to love at last racism and police brutality. I love you all and hope to hear some feedback about my poems. I love you all as I come in Peace! Much love respect, Foxx (MD) Hello - Too all my transgender siters and brothers on LGBTQI I thought I would never write. But I thought I might as well come all the way out I’m Ms. Sarah I’m a transsexual I started hormone therapy in the world but never finished the process cause I’ve been locked up! An for the last 12 yrs I let these officers control me. But not anymore I’m 43 yrs old and I seen GD mental health provider May 22
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2017 and got evaluated too get put back on female hormones. Even though I was on them in the world I still had too go threw the process! Well on August 22, 2017, I started on Estradiol 1mg twice a day and spironolactone 25mg twice a day. I’m going too become that beautiful butterfly I was meant too be and I have too give thanks too Alex C. (MA) for dedicate that song by Christina Aguilara’s “Beautiful” to each and every one of us! I am beautiful in every single way Yes words can’t bring me down. And now I tell myself everyday that no one can bring me down no more. 1 last thing I like too say welcome are incoming National Director Tray Johns and Tray’s wife Foxxy! I’ve been receiving Black and Pink for a very long time since Jason started it with newsletters then the newspaper and now the magazine and I love all my family LGBTQI your all I got and all I need. Jason farewell you will always be in my heart and will be missed. Well I <3 all of you LGBTQI family forever! Sincerely yours, Ms. Sarah L. S! (TX) Before I say anything, I want to first assure you ALL that I love you, and that it is only out of love for you that I saw what I’m about to say. Let me ask each and every one of you a very serious question. A question that I want you to ask yourself, and each one of your friends and family members. The question is: “Do you believe in (condone) slavery? If you knew that someone you love was being enslaved, would you fight to free them?”
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I ask these two questions because the 13th ammendment of the United States Constitution (he socalled Abolishment of Slavery Act) actually legalizes slavery, and makes each and every one of us who are in prison, the modern day slaves. sisters and brothers and others, mo matter what our alleged crimes may or may not have been, absolutely no one should be a slave. Ok, fine, punish us for our crimes, but don’t make us slaves. Do you agree? With that said, I respectfully turn to Tray John and ask that you please start an online petition to truly end all slavery, by first extracting the “exception” in the 13th amendment. And I call on you all (my sisters and brothers) to get everybody you know (and everybody they know) to sign it. Understand that more than half of what these prisons are doing to us, they are getting away with it because we are considered slaves. If we are truly to fight for our rights, and part of our mission is to do away with prisons, then we must first no longer be this system’s slaves! With freedom from slavery come rights! Rights that we are not presently afforded, but basic human rights which all persons should have. Tray, you told the warden that you never wanted to be the best inmate Well, none of us ever wanted to be slaves. Accordingly, I call upon you to lead the fight to put an end to the slave ship. To sister Roslayn L, in Maryland, from one Muslim to anoter, may Allah be with you, and bless every beautiful breath that you take. Sister, you said you have 12 years left; can I do it woth you/ If you don’t mind, there are two things I’d
Black & Pink News
ask you to read: (1) Sura 16, Ayat 72 and Sura 2, Ayat 221; and (2) Tibbs v. Samuels, et. Al., 2017 US Dist. Lexis 45523 (D. Mass. March 28, 2017), then get back at me, please. Sisters and brothers and others, we really can crush this unjust slave ship if we truely come together and network. This system is not strong, it only banks on our weaknesses, and our greatest weakness is the lack of unity. Please, let’s become one, and fight ass a united mind. With love, I shall remain your sibling Love Jerome T. (MA) Hey, Fam! My love to you all! I hope everyone is well in their travels!! Real quick: Thank you for the good vibes and strength sent from Sidra! They were greatly appreciated! I am just quickly sending love and power to everyone. Stay strong and Stay Positive! I am finally receiving om relief and interest in my situation with the sergeant trying to have me stabbed for filing grievances on him. After receiving stonewalls throughout FDOC levels I wrote directly to the Governor, to the head inspector in Tallahassee, the Florida Department of Law Enforcement, and also a local producer for the news outlet. I was notified last week, after all of the institutional levels told me that my situation did not warrant investigation, that a case number and a formal external investigation have been assigned and an investigator will be to see me to retrieve my statement and witness
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identifications. I was beginning to feel so defeated after being in lock for 35 days and not receiving anything or any type of true concern in the seriousness of it all. I send my loves and prayers to all the family and friends of the victims from the massacre at the Jason Aldean concert in Las Vegas. Such a close chord was struck with me as I lost an ex-boyfriend, Eddie Sotomayor, in the massacre at Pulse. All of the love and unity and prayers to everyone feeling sadness, sympathy, and loss. You are all in my thoughts and prayers always. Much strength and encouragement to all of my fam throughout the systems experiencing hardships and torment. Don’t be deterred and focus on your goal whatever it may be!! Stay positive!!! There’s a rainbow at the end of every storm. Love, love, love to you all!! Quick shoutouts to Ms Diva Imani, my Imani sisters standing BBS strong and to my true love - I miss you, B-Wash! X.X. all love, Star Imanaai (FL) To my loving family, Along with our loving and forgiving God, You’re my strength. I felt obligated to reach out to you all in love and pride.. Not a in your face boastful pride, but a confident, steadfast, will not cower sort of pride. I’m presently housed at Lancaster Prison in Southern Florida. I’m in solitary confinement just for the moment, pushing for a transfer to a more suitable institution for those of our lifestyle (which here is met with intolerance and hate, which I believe is more
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fabricated/exaggerated than true). However, it is present. While I don’t fear confrontation, in my wiseness and pursuit of wisdom, I choose to move on Before I continue, I must give a loving/respectful shoutout to someone I always admired and loved (although she never knew) Ms. Lisa Strawn of California. Hey Diva, it’s “S. Kay” from 2002! Hope you’re well and may we soon meet again. I never met a person who so unselfishly advocated for the community as Lisa always has. I just didn’t fully appreciate her qualities at the time due to my youth and recklessness. What a missed opportunity I long to have once more! Moving on, I’m now a 45 year young black bi-sexual Belizion born man. I classify myself as bi simply because I am not against dating women. But I am more comfortable dating transgender and/or very feminate gay boys. I’m not into dating those who are masculine in any form, although I present it. I am most impressed and in total awe of our incoming B/P National
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Director “Tray Johns”. Bless you. Be encouraged with all of our support to provide us with a leadership, representation, and commitment to our cause and being that we know you will. While Jason is loved and already missed, we acknowledge that he is not replaced, simply has made a transition and left us in the hands of someone more than capable and it appears over qualified for that position. Lets offer Tray the full patience, love, and support necessary for any abled person to progess our movement and prosper. It i so obvious that Tray can easily devote Tray’s time in many other venues that would undoubtedly benefit Tray moreso than here with us (at least from a material aspect!) because there’s no more venues that will love/appreciate Tray/Foxxy more than B/P. Foxxy welcome as well and what a divine, mature, and wise decision you made in a lifetime partner! To all the rest of my true loved ones, please, let’s not war against ourselves. Let’s not be “jaded” of each other under any circumstances. I witness such bitterness, backbiting, and jealousy amongst our own. We can be our own wore enemy
By Alejandra (CA)
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it seems. We need not concern ourselves with the relationships of our sisters/brothers unless they’re violent and dangerous. Surely don’t mind you own business while you can save a family member from harm or a life-sentence. Otherwise be supportive, not nosey or spiteful and only provide our family members with constructive (not destructive) advice. I love you all in solidarity, loyalty, respect, and honor. Be united, not divided. G.B.G.s/redhands, we’re family, be as one, no politics just love. xoxoxo SK (CA) Dear Family who support me (LGBTQI), Its your boy/girl... BB girl AKA Bumble Bee, writing for the feedback on the Happy Holidays card with the snowmans who are smiling with my favorite colors (Black & Yellow), shouts out to Tate and much love to you all. Well where do I start... This unit is so twisted but I try my best to stay to myself from these turned out punks, because most of them are sisters dragging with one another which have the straight buys look bad on me. Im a Girl and I love men with no doubt about it, its my freedom of will to do what I want but not one day (not even one) can go without having a person worried about (B) eautiful (B)aby Girl. Just in the past year there was a rumor spreading that I have aids from guys who couldn’t fuck with me on a level more than the friend zone, then the next person wants to judge about me and my lifestyle also including the procedure that myself is undergoing.
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August/September 2018
Black & Pink News
By Dave W. (OR)
Saying that God will punish me and make me burn in hell because of the decisions that I’m choosing, when in fact I read that it is a detestable thing against God because he wouldn’t let us go to hell. I ain’t trying to preach on no religion because we all got our own believes but what I want my family to know is that who ever doesn’t love has not come to know God because God is love, always remember that because its true and the feeling of the Holy Spirit is wonderful so wonderful because when I talk and pry to God it makes me cry. And he is one spirit that I can trust and a special friend who will always love me as his child no matter how much I upset him, he will have his unconditional love ready for me. And he will do the same for you if you have Trust, Patience, and Love, because God is Tender, Love, and Care, so we have to always have Trust in Him and only him. My other confession is these wannabe Gangstas, or so called gang bangers talk all the hard roll, because they are on a MHMROP (D.D.P.) unit always picking on the weak who aren’t always there in the head. Look I have a mental problem due to me being a Gender Dysphoria, and I just can’t stand being away from my mommy and daddy because they are struggling without me helping them. Look life is a bitch and we die, feeling pain
because life is a pain until we die, I’m out and I’ll be watching till the next magazine so I may continue reading all my fams stories. BB Girl AKA Bumble Bee (TX) Eurika: Black & Pink Family, Happiest of New Years, Family. I’ve been in a mild consternation of thoughts and emotions. Due to the mindset and reality of our young Afro-American brothers. It bothers me to see that after all of these generations of struggle and hard suffering, we still are just as confused and un-organized with concerns towards collective work ethics. This is why I am so proud and glad to be an active family member of our Black & Pink organization! Black & Pink we along with Black Lives Matter as well as Antifa Brigade members ought to bombard the media out-lets with the exposure of how it is capitalistic greedy exploitation. Equal to slavery’s modern-today slavery of human traffic. Just like whats going on in Sudan or the sex slave children in Bangkok, Brazil, Mexico or St. Louis, D.C., St. Pete/Tampa Bay. We can pull the shroud off of the NCAA vail of unequal compensation. For all of our brotha’s who’s being thoroughly played worse than a
slave. Over-exploited according to the actual income being derived off the backs, broken bones. CTE brain damage long/short term effects, torn ACLs and the opiode dependency that comes along with this human carnage. Thy must be made aware and held accountable for their selfish greed. And made to pay and back pay all of those athletes college players in fair compensation to them. Don’t get side-track into their rabbit-hole of scholarships for their student athletes! Because the wealthy of enormous amounts of money in the billions of dollars annually. A $100,000 dollar scholarship per year (if this is the amount given) is still far under compensation for their actual fair payment for services rendered. Black & Pink let’s follow the money in this chain of exploitive events. TV sponsors, sports channels, sports licensee apparel, NCAA, the individual college, the athletic director/Board of Regents, the head coach with all of their added exposure for money making plugs. And any other parasite who can financially benefit from this total exploitation of our brothers’ and sisters’ youthful zeal and energies. It is out duty and responsibility to be the voice crying out for justice. We must be the eyes & ears to stop this tyranny of unfair practices. Right here in the United States of America, we have a lot of work still needed to be address. In closing, my beloved family & comrades at arms, my time is coming to an incarcerated end, I am now awaiting my release date as you read this. So please keep me in your prayers and hopes in love and care. I close this letter with sincere compassion and heart felt love for all of us who build
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bridges instead of walls of division and hate! Let freedom ring Always your big bro’ Rederick (MO) Dear B&P Family, Hello to all our family at Black & Pink. Well, as of today the DAI or Madison, WI; we as trans people are allowed to order female items off laundry “sports bras, 6 per” and any other items we need as M2F persons...:) We get to choose to shower by ourselves or with other trans people. We are also able to get a red tag or “cell with care” placed on us! This is big and I can’t wait to start my transition (November 1, 2017, started). I’ll see my family Oct. 28th or 29th and will tell them about that part of my life. I came out to them as “bisexual” at age 19. So now, being 34 years old on Oct. 22, I will come out once again as transsexual. This is a big step for me, but it needs to be spoken out about. Wish me luck. I’ve been here at WRC “Wisconsin Resource Center” for xi months now and I’m doing a lot better. I will be going to another max prison, changing from the last hateful institution I was at. I’ve started a lot of new classes in music. I’m starting to like my life and self once again I’m growing my hair out long and can’t wait to grow my breasts and it’s a big choice on if I’ll do bottom surgery. Well, I just wanted to write and update, so hope you are all doing okay and like it’s been said, “It will
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get better.” :) Love, Christina (WI) P.S. Also can’t wait for my name change too! Esteem friends!
greetings
family
and
This is UV (the Red King of Pleasant Grove) and I just want to give you (all whom I consider family) some food for thought and nourishment for the soul. I learned from experience that, within each person is a beautiful light waiting to shine forth, a magnificent being aching for expression. This is our inner self, or true individuality, and our true uniqueness. But this is not the real person we present to others around us. We have produced a “personality” which is only a composite expression at the crux of which is our “individuality” (our inner self). All of us are dual brings. That which is freely expressed is usually the image, while the real person, the unique individuality of our inner self is all too frequently suppressed. The image is something of a made-up emotional ghost we have cultivated to defend our sensituties. We have spent our lifetime doing this. We sell ourselves far too short for our image can never hold to the true beauty and grandeur of our natural true inner self. A lot of times this is because the acute sensitivity of our inner self is often mistaken for vulnerability and, as a result, we build and construct psychological walls to keep people we care about the most at bay. We become somebody we are not, refusing to give the real self air,
exercise and expression. We begin the understand the inner self only when one start to understand who we are, where one has come from, our purpose in choosing this life and how to achieve that purpose. There will always be people that will condemn, vilify, denounce, ostracize and assault our way of life. Many will continue to degrade our culture, but one have to be the individual and not the personality we have to always be who one is and who we are, and strive to be the living and breaching example of our true inner self. Stop worrying about how others may see us and all that beautiful light within it express itself in itself in its own glory that makes all of us unique and special. In closing, I want to leave you all with this...Love is a bond, a bond that links two people together. It is the highest form of understanding for each other. Love is the windex for your vision because love helps clarify your vision, and defines your mission in this life with each other. Love is what love does! You can’t love someone you don’t respect and you can’t respect someone you don’t love! In love, respect, and solidarity, UV (TX) Dear Black & Pink. I want to send my love out to all my brothers and sisters out there. I’ve been a long time reader and I’ve wrote quite a few letters within the past year, but none have been published. For all who don’t know me my name is Roy AKA GR. I’ve been incarcerated this time 7 years on a parole violation but spent most of my life incarcerated. I came out in 2010. I’m a very proud bisexual 36 year old happy man. Since coming
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out I lost all my friends and family because they couldn’t accept who I am. Which is fine by me because I’ve learned over the years that I can’t make everybody happy, so I quit trying as long as I’m happy that’s what matters. I refuse to change for anybody. I want all my brothers and sisters to know that there are always going to be haters, and I want all my brothers and sisters to know I know what you all are going through. I’ve been going through it for years but I can honestly say I’ve learned a lot and I want to share with you all one thing and that is if you don’t want anybody in your business then don’t but your business out there in the street. I’ve had several relationships in here and the only reason they ended was because my girl went home. So if you all want less drama and problem with inmates and this unjust system than follow this one rule that I’ve followed for many years and it works and that is what happens behind closed doors stays behind closed doors. I’ve learned that drama starts when you or your partner starts putting your business in the street for all to hear and know, that’s how drama gets started. I’ve always told my girl what happens between us is our business, no one else needs to know what we do, and I can honestly say it’s been working for me. Roy (MI) Dear Brothers and Sisters, Peace be upon you all! I pray that everyone is doing well. I’m writing this letter in concern for the brothers. I feel Black & Pink has little concern when it comes to the brothers. I do understand that
Black & Pink News
our sisters go through a physical and emotional hardship in different jails, but we also have issues that go unheard or cared for. Let me explain a little further. I’m a 36-year old bisexual male. I’ve been incarcerated since I was 16 years old. Since then, I had to be a man that people didn’t know my sexuality. If people would have found out I would’ve got treated with emotional violence and a high possibility of physical violence due to my religious belief (Islam). Also, we loose so-called friends or people you thought was family. For me, I had a reputation to uphold. Where I’m from (DC) we just don’t go for nothing. Stand tall and be a man. I have been on the front line with the Muslims, in race riots and regular fights. I also had problems with going to new jails and someone telling my celly I’m gay and I can’t stay in the cell. See, for the sisters they get to fight for their own cell and put who they want in the cell. I get stereotyped a lot of times because I’m from DC, black, 6’3” and 280 lbs. DC guys in the federal system get a bad rep. They say, “they are butt bandits, steal/rob, love to fight/bully, don’t like to pay their debts, just grimy guys.” For me, that’s far from the truth. We were raised, for the most part, to be aggressive in communicating, and physical. So, for me it’s been a hassle through my past jails (10 in 20 years). I worked my way from the penitentiary (USP) to the Med (FCI) and now I’m on my way to a lower custody facility. In 2012 I read a quote that said, “There are two people who don’t change: a dead man because he can’t change, and a fool because he won’t change.” Then I wondered, which
August/September 2018
one am I? So, I left active jails and went to do time without carrying a knife everywhere I go. Now almost 6 years later I’m still fighting with my ego and being the old me. I’m preparing myself to come home. I have a parole hearing in 2018. If Allah (God) wills it, I’ll make it and be a law-abiding citizen. I don’t know what B&P has in place for women and men that have been victims of physical and emotional violence, but I want to help. I was a victim from ages 6-8. I was sexually abused by my mom. She died when I was almost 10. I became a victimizer and I sexually assaulted a woman when I was 16. I’ve been incarcerated since. I’m going to Devens, MA to continue my sexual treatment. I want to make amends, and this is one way for me to do it. I feel so much regret, remorse, and sympathy. I know you all have a lot on your plate, and I know you all care, but please reassure my heart and the heart of other brothers. Give us a shout out every now and then. LOL! As I came I will leave, “Peace be upon you all!” Love, Big Bro BG (MA) Hey, this is Alisha Michelle. Just wanted to drop a few lines from F-L-A. First off, welcome Tray and Ms. Foxxy. That’s a great pic of ya’ll in Sept’s issue. To Christy Ann M. in TN (June) honey, your letter really moved me to tears. I feel your pain and wanted to share how I filled that hole in my heart and you can too. Cry out to Jesus with your whole heart and He will come in and fill it with comfort and peace. Don’t listen to the haters that
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paint him as unloving and mean. He desperately loves you and wants a relationship with you. And he will meet you right where you are in life. Don’t give up honey, and never give in. God bless you. As for what’s goin on in our fight down here. I’m not entirely sure. I’ve been in touch with So. Poverty Law Center (Rachel’s such a sweetheart) they told me to contact ACLU. I did that months ago and haven’t heard anything. All I’ve gotten from medical are referrals to Mental Health (which they refuse to do anything with). When I did get to access mental health they were real nasty toward me, called me a psych and said I’d have to go to a psych camp if I want any kind of diagnosis or treatment. Apparently they haven’t read the DSM-5 which instructs them to quit referring to GD as GID. It’s not a Mental “Disorder”, and I am for from a psych. Ok, maybe not that far. Whatever! So, anyhow, medical told me that there was some big meeting somewhere about how to deal with the Transgender inmates, and that they were supposed to be opening up a camp just for us. Yippee! Woohoo, Girl Power! But I don’t know where or when. I wrote to our Asst. Warden asking her for permission to order panties and a bra off the catalogue. She never responded and the deadline is tomorrow for orders, so I might be dead this time around. Hey, I wonder if they’re considering it a disorder can I hit them with an ADA request for accommodation to get that stuff? Sure wish ACLU would let me know something. Well big shout out to all my girls in the F-L-A. Josephine-ho! :-) My girl Cali-n-her man Hawk, Jazz :D,
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Monique from the 90s. Love all, Alisa Michelle P.S. Pretty Please Print this P.P.S Thanks for the B&P Mags Alisha (FL) I go by Indy or Jay (Bi, male, pronouns him/he). Today is Saturday, 21 October 2017. I max out my sentence 2.5-5 Sunday April 14, 2019, but it’s followed by 3 years of probation. I have a few things to bring up in this correspondence. 1) I was rereading through the Sept 2017 issue and had a few questions to the people I’ll point out later. 2) I figured I’ve been getting this since like January of this year I think. And haven’t made any contributions so I figured it’s about time. 3) I’m currently in the hole serving a 90 ball and am about halfway through it with nothing else to do so why not write. 4) To say that I intend on being a penpal/ volunteer (if I can) when I get back on the streets. 5) To start out by getting some stuff out there about myself. Ok so here I go. Y’all already know my name and all. I am 27 (as of June 2017) and have been interested in both sexes for as long as I can remember. Which is a long time cuz I was abused by both blood grandfathers which played its parts in my stupid actions later in life to become incarcerated. Born in New Hampshire, raised and incarcerated in Pennsylvania (coal township from Chester County). But I’m an army vet and when I got out in 2013 from GA, I/we, my now ex-wife, my now ex-boyfriend, and mine and wife’s son moved to Indiana (Hendricks County). I got booked
By Deserea J. (GA) in 2014 for sex offenses and have to register when I come home. For life. Not intending on staying in Pennsylvania, gonna try and get back to our son and build our crumbling relationship. Ok now to my questions and whatnot. To BB in Indiana, what county were you in? I tried being gay, straight, and bi, and found myself disappointments in all. But feel my most self as bi. I prefer women, but can’t stop being the versatile top or my taste for a man. Ya know? We’re here for you. My second person from this issue is Alex from Mass. I understand what you’re saying. Because I went to boy schools I was stunted at the adolescent age and when I committed my offense in 2013 well let’s just say this person is 19 as of 28 November 2017. My family has always known, they just didn’t want to acknowledge it. They could tell because of my sexually acting out. The only one
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who openly acknowledged me is my grandmother. Without her, I wouldn’t have any support while incarcerated. My family calls me a disappointment, but at least they acknowledge me for who I am now. Back to my gram. when I arrived at Chester County she moved from EVERYTHING she knew (for then 68 years) and moved here to support me. My final question is for whoever can answer it. How hard is it to get interstate transfers on special probation? Mind you I am trying to leave the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. To everyone else, spread the love not hate and always know we’re always here for you. Open to writing and love it. Love, Indy (PA) PS - can’t wait to see this in the newsletter and show it to my grandmother. I LOVE YOU NANA. First off, much love and respect to those that put forth the effort to put this magazine together. This is my first time writing, just requested to start getting Black and Pink. I’m going to give y’all my story, as authentic as possible. I have just been introduced to the LGBTQIA lifestyle. Some background about myself, I am 30 years old serving a 35 agg sentence for robbery. Born and raised in San Antonio, been locked up almost 12 years, came down when I was 18. Was affiliated, like a dummy, forthe first 9 years of my incarceration. I always had thoughts of fooling around, but the consequences, potentially, were too
August/September 2018
Black & Pink News
severe. Then, in 2016, I pulled up at the Bond unit, probably the best unit in Texas. Couples are everywhere there and the administration is very couple-friendly. Then, in October, this new transgender girl pulls up at the unit. Her name was Olivia. I introduced myself and shook her hand, didn’t really think much of it since I was on medium custody and she was maximum custody. Fast forward a couple weeks and I’m playing basketball on the rec yard and see her walking around. We start exchanging kites and next thing you know, she catches a case juts to bring her ass to medium custody. Man, I got wrapped up. Never have I met someone that showed me so much loyalty and devotion. We were inseparable. If you saw one, you saw the other. Everyone, including administration, knew that Ryan and Olivia were like conjoined twins!! :) Anyway in July of this year (2017), we ran into some bullshit that led to both of us getting transferred. But my baby goes home May 15th, 2018. So the countdown is on. I am in love. And don’t care who knows. I swear, the day I get out I’ll walk down the Riverwalk holding hands, cheering just like I won the lottery. We still maintain contact through my mom. I say all that to say this. I used to be the guy that made fun of people like Olivia. I was deaf, dumb, and blind. My experiences at the Bond Unit showed me the struggle that trans/ gay boys go through. It’s tough for them. I don’t even know what or how to classify myself, whether it is bisexual or whatever. But I could care less about a label. I am now an advocate for those I used to make fun of. To all the transgender people out there, keep fighting the good fight. You are not alone. And when you think the storm will never end,
remember that every storm runs out of rain. Love to all, Ryan AKA Big Head (TX) PS shout out to Mrs. Olivia Ryan Coons. I love you baby!! Let me tell you a little about me. My real name is “Jimmy” aka Ms. T. I am gay and have been since I was 13 years old when I realized I liked other boys. I have been in and out of prison most of my life. I finally came out of the closet at the age of 47 years old. I am now 50. It felt good coming out, I don’t have to hid no more, I have a family of the LGBTQ, who I can trust and we stick together through the good and the bad. Other inmates think it is okay to touch us because we are gay and that makes it cool. I was raped last year, and I found out that the inmate who raped me got charged. Well I will close, and to all my family of Black and Pink, keep your head up and lets keep pushing for our rights. Gays and transgenders inside of the prison walls and locked up everywhere, always fight for your rights and use PREA if you have to. Because no one has the right to abuse you, rape you, or cause harassment upon you , or make you do anything that you don’t want to do. Keep your head up! LGBTQ for life! Yours Truly Jimmy AKA Ms. T (GA)
Volume 9, Issue 5
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Poetry from Our Black & Pink Family Handy The ignorant dare imply that you are sick, Why? Because you’ve become this beautiful women who just So happen to have a dick If the moon could speak she’d tell you, you are the shit! I can speak so let me tell you: in this world you are a top pick. Your very essence brings pure appeal and uniqueness to a flick-Vogue. The wallpaper of society would truly be dull and plain without the many flavors of you us. At sight of you pulses quicken and skin flush. Plus - you intoxicate, leaving those who experience you with a rush. Many won’t get it, but what matters most, is that you got it. Just remember; When it gets dark as it can and will, pivot. No one can fault you for identifying with who you are. For all the hurt and pain you endure along the way, allow my words, like ointment, to soothe your every scar. There was a time trans-sexuality for me too, was a blur. Then I matured and understood how he discovered Hady (his lady), and subsequently, I fell in love with her. So until the next chapter:
I pray the unreasonable hate directed towards you - us dissolves, so we can live equally and happily ever after. I hear your souls cry, and as God loves you, so do I! From me to you with an open heart, by Marlon S. (Marvelous), CT
I’m Different We are so different yet the same Our wayward paths cross but then suddenly have change A heart so in love no even another soul would dare to tame A man once told me this--you know his name-“the power is in the gun”, but actually it’s in your LGBTQ heart I’ve always known this right from the start It’s fire and ice but it all seems the same It’s not the first kiss you’ll have but the last one that’ll ever matter Those are the ones that will always seem to remain Your beautiful face and my tears that fall like warm spring rain You are my lover, no one else hears that name While in TDC just wish I can hold you just the same Courage is a kind of salvation A life that sees how a sacrifice must be made I’d gladly do it all again just to touch your soft lips and skin. It’s our love that burns for all lifetime I will never breathlessly be the
same You were my very first and for that I’ll always remain Like the tattoo in my heart it will always hold your name Until then I’m glad we met and still remain friends Yet I’m different
by Mat P, TX
The unexpected conscious of the unconscious but still conscious of nwothing you hate me because my words are lethal like bruce lee right before he took his last fall Hurt from the untouch So enjoy it while it last Because in my mind I’ma get the last laugh vicious like a animal whose waiting to see his victim bleed But remember you inhale the same air that we breathe Stronger than you think so my heart cannot deceive Awaken by many opportunity so how can you beat me...like a slave whose been caught but now he’s stuck hanging from a tree Loyal since birth but trouble keep following me Refusing to be broken even if I’m sick down to my knees I’ll die to get my point across, you will never destroy me Feel my pain while insanity takes control of me, professional say he’ll be okay and blew right pass me. The unexpected!
by Charles W (IL)
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Rage Against The Machine
on stale, still air it dies.
When time seems to have lost its way between midnight and dawn Stand up and fight while others lay find you’ve won while they yawn... Of epic proportions this war between fiction and Fact So much taken yet it wants more against the wall we’re backed... Identities robbed, lives controlled oppressive and so mean Stand up, strike back, and let unload rage against the machine
by Prince Osiris (FL)
Escape The Matrix Lost in an imagining’s flow of voices and faces Disjointed, false connections grow ne’er seen before places... the matrix once it has you trapped its hold tight the vice grip Any reason detected sapped strapped to fantasy’s trip... Escape the Matrix if you may unplugged, set yourself free Escape the night, enter the day and truth you will then see
August/September 2018
Black & Pink News
by Prince Osiris (FL)
Gone And Forgotten Overwhelmed by isolation cut off from all I Know Found without: no consolation lost within: madness slow... Endless mirage of vile creatures before me paraded Cold steel and stone without features outcast and degraded... Claustrophobic this lonely cell my solitary cried Gone and forgotten in this hell
by Prince Osiris (FL)
Gnosis It is silent and black here in this space. And I stretch my hand out desperately, as if to touch, when I know that I am far beyond reason... Know that if I share this with you its illusion will coalesce and solidify until you will believe it. But what truth is this that, once uttered, undergoes the metamorphosis of a lie? I can pretend that you understand, but in the black, here alone, I will truly know that I have watched myself lie. I am here with you reading these words, calling you to me. And I know that even as you read this sentence I have just written it. And even now as I write, I imagine you reading. And so it was that you were born. This page before us, these words, let them fade into the black beyond your mind, and find the place where I am that is silent and black waiting for you with my hand outstretched.
by Robert G (AZ)
ENOUGH No sins, No kins, No friends, Stop lying, pretending, and venting. Often rescinding the loyalty. You employ me, with a hefty salary of disloyalty. No sins, No kins, No friends My cope is of soap, cleansing me of hatred, lathering me with forgiveness, then rinsing away the agony. No sins, No kins, No friends Imposter I’ve unmasked you! You’re so ugly acting as if you loved me........
by Melania, NJ
An enemy in my home attacked with words that hurt more than sticks and bruise more that stones what is my problem am I doing something wrong why do I feel this way when I feel his touch kiss his lips grab his butt people stare, people fear wish death upon you and hope you disappear I was ashamed, I was confused living a lie, concerned with their views these are the things that peer pressure do But with support and time
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Volume 9, Issue 5
I stepped out the closet and opened my eyes, opened my heart and fell in love with a guy no more shame, no more confusion stand tall and proud, careless of views because I’m proud to say that I’m young that I’m black and that I’m gay openly gay get used to my face, because I’m here to stay.
by Kevin W.(PA)
An Ember Burns An ember burns deep down inside my brain around and around seasons past bound through cracks of his built walls to keep out the past It creeps slowly in with shattered edges of pain Behind this mask lurks childhood nightmares that seek
by Jeff M. (MO)
Different I stood Different I stood Inside looking out Rejected by the worlds sight, he did not feel comfortably right knowing I did not belong around people hating me for being gay It caused me to hide In the shadows of suffocating Silence: Alone I stood
by Jeff M. (MO)
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Coming Out
Blessed Be! Yours,
Coming Out: Like a blooming flower Genders of different Colors with Petals Stretched Before The sunlight in beautiful sight In passion and love: feeling open and free
Kid (TX)
by Jeff M. (MO)
Hey there, this is Kid out of the TX penal system. This is my first time writing. I have only been out for about 3 years now and I consider myself gay in here but probably bi when I get out. There are a lot of people that bash the gays in the prison system, most of them will bash and then when I speak up that I mess around or that I’m gay they start backpedaling. And to me most of the ones who do the bashing are trying to hide the fact that they secretly want to have sexual encounters as well. Too many “straight” guys are gay but for one reason or another they are scared to come out! When I came out I felt 100 times better, although it is rough at times. I am perfectly content with who I am, or should I say who I have become. I do have a question: when is the best time to come out to your family, or is it even any of their business? I have been locked up for 17 1/2 years on a 20 year sentence, shouldn’t they expect it? I turn 35 this year! I’d like to say hi to all my friends, Geovanni, Yolo, Brooklyn, everyone else out there in our small world, yea you too Kendra and Khloe, I’m sorry! I’ve got some poetry as well that a couple of those might understand!
Puppet Strings Controlled by the hands of another man, Makes me do whatever he can. I feel I have no choice but to follow along, Puppet strings running through my heart so strong. You make me dance and make me sing, Then you hang me up like a thing. I only wish the strings were fiction, And we could be each others addiction. A free life without strings and with smiles. And it wouldn’t end but go on for miles and miles. My Mistakes Why do I get so fucked up I wanna cry, Or so fucked up I wanna die. All of this was just my fault, I would change it now at any cost. My feelings are involved and I’m in over my head, With feelings like this I’d rather be dead. Caught in a lake of emotions with no way out, So now I just sit here and pout. Is this the way relationships should be, That’s just the way it looks to me! Mask Alone in this mystery, going through my misery, This thing I am now, I wish I could understand it. I gave him m heart, now it feels ripped apart.
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If only I could figure this out, and stop getting hurt. Are all relationships like this, just one sided like this, What I want I can’t get, lose my heart and throw a fit. Wish I could make the one want love me, is that too much to ask, Instead I sit here, gotta put on my mask! Toys Once upon a time I was bright, new, and shiny After a while I was old, dirty, and grimy He won’t even touch me now, what was it I did Now all I do is get pushed away and slid To the back of the shelf where no one ever ares And my heart is all broken and bare Toys are meant to be played with, after a while they are left alone and forgotten. When feelings are involved we get straight up distraught. How do I gain access back into his arms. Just sit back and wait for the next one he harms. Control How many times have I sat here and wondered, How much of your control I’m under. You tell me to leave you alone, go away, I will listen but hope for us one day. I wish you could be straight forward and blunt, And tell me exactly what it is you want. All of your wishes would be my command, But still I wonder why I can’t be
August/September 2018
Black & Pink News
your man. Is this emotion I feel for you love, Or some other strange feelings sent from above.
by Kid, TX
COMFORTABLE IN MY SKIN Coming Out As A Lady elevated me mentally higher than a cloud Out came my true self Transgender and Proud Masked no more by the person I never Was Female forever The life I truely Love Over the false life I struggle to portray Realistically A lady “Till” my dying day Trans is power that never Fails All we have to do is manifest our true selves Bold and beautiful is What We are Living the life of a beautiful Trans star Even though We are hated by many <3
Inside and out the lady we were born to be Now let us embrace Femininity better than we would our Men (COMFORTABLE IN MY SKIN) by Chocolate Cupcake -AKA- C.C. -AKA- Miss Kenyon Evans BKA Princess Queen (SMOOCHIES!!), PA “I feel like” I feel like a young man again not ole and frail. I feel like I can do anything Anything at all. I feel my heart is Thumping strong. Blood flowing free, and fast. I feel like a young man Again. Not fearing the wind and the cold. I feel like I can do it all. Climb a hill, or a tree or two that’s How young you make me feel. How much do you feel when your young Too. That is the feeling I feel All the day long.
Inside and out we are true Femininity Now that Im Free, I can open my wings
<3
When I think of you, I picture a perfectly colored sunrise.
My life is so complete as I awaits my Handsome King You will be so proud and complete by being you
When I think of you, I feel as calm as a peaceful ocean sunset.
<3 So come out of that damn closet I was once there too Keep on going until you are physically complete
by Ivar N, OR
When I think of you...
When I think of you, I find myself wanting to do for you all I can. When I think of you, I smile and get a warm feeling all over my body.
blackandpink.org
Volume 9, Issue 5
When I think of you, I imagine your touch being gentle as a misting rain reaching to places unknown to others. When I think of you, I think “how lucky I am to have you in my life.” When I think of you, I can only hope you might be thinking of me. by: Jasmine A.K.A. “B2,” IN written for Jack Holmes, I love you, Wiz! Beauty In The Darkness Shattered Innocence at the hands of the brutal Demons of the Night. Left behind abandoned and bleeding, entirely defeated too young to know how to fight. Pleading to God for protection with all my might, lost in the darkness there is no light. Years wasted living damaged and broken surrounded by Sins of Silence. Heart suffering, spirit shattered, deep within Darkness Awakens cultivating the shadow of defiance. The polarization in personality destroys self-reliance, the Monster in the Mirror leaves me bonded to violence. Faithless I front a Façade of Faces a masquerading mirage of shallow impressions. Stiletto Secrets regrettably practiced to perfection. Losing myself becomes my newest obsession. A pretense of Devious Deceptions disregards any notion of discretion.
Dawn Breaks and the sunshine leaves my Soul Searching for the Lord of Light. I beg God please do not forsake me, falling to my knees I pray he will pick me up and hold me tight. Teach me to be Fearless as a Lion in the night. Through your mercy and grace I will surely be victorious in the Courageous Fight. By God’s Grace, I am Born Again. Blessed, saved, and cleansed of all my Sacred Scars healed by the Face of Faith. Show me love and redemption from all affliction open Heaven’s Gate. Thriving in the fire with the Spirit Soul knocking on my door. No longer defeated by the Devil’s Roar I submit to fear no more. Peaceful and unbroken I give my life over to where the eagles soar. Jesus redeemer of life carry me away to the Soothing Shore.
by Molli K, IA
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i can read the words behind your chocolate tinted eyes. you want to know what could have been and what could be. kisses that remember kisses that help forget. autumn kisses that warm my bones and sound like stormy monday there’s rain in your voice when you whisper in my ear. your breath opens windows into places long forgotten like steamer trunks in old folks’ attics; hidden treasures yes has a sibilance unmatched by any other word. it can be breathed instead of spoken. inhale a yes and there’s a gravid intensity held in check pressure at the breach exhale to surrender but you already knew my answer
by Cole B. (PA)
Kiss? the question is on your lips, go ahead and ask it perches there without regard, it’s written on your cheek. it rests between a freckle and that scar you got fighting a bully in eighth grade. you remember, that time when he called me a fag and you hit him with your Star Wars lunchbox. would have married you right then. they used to say that i fight like a girl. they stopped saying that around you. the question breathes uncertainty and reservation. you’re not sure if you should ask
in my head sitting in this cell behind this glass. feel like a caged beast thats on his last. miss my baby cute light skin man with green eyes. he changed me a lot from a top to vers I did the same for him. happy to know I was his first and last. because we are in this til death. only one keep me from ripping my hart out my chest. I love that boy and he know we the best. waiting to be freed from this hell in a cell. wishing 2019 would come fast as hell. or that they let me out this cell. till then I get the pics he sends in. so I stay in my head.
by Spazz Q, MA
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Black & Pink News
August/September 2018
Letters, Poetry from Black & Pink Family Dear family, Greetings and salutations! In case my 10 December 2017 letter was overlooked, I was the force behind the Michigan Department of Corrections improving its Gender Dysphoria Policy Directive 04.06.184 effective 26 June 2017. Big guns Southern Poverty Law Center in Montgomery, AL and the ACLU of MI came to my rescue and squeezed the MDOC. Prior to that, I was very involved in PREA ever since it was enacted by Congress and signed by the President. I kept in touch with Stop Prisoner Rape, which is now Just Detention International. In 2007, they used my testimony as part of their media campaign entitled Stories from the Inside: Prisoner Rape and the War on Drugs. Upon transfer from Macomb to Brooks Correctional Facility, the staff here were quite unaware of both the improved policy directive and the PREA standards. So much so that they even tried to give me a hassle about showering separately from other inmates. Within a few weeks, a big, white officer decided that he wanted to do a pat down search after breakfast. When I walked up to him, I said “Cross-gender pat down please given that I am transgender.” He groped my breasts anyways. When I turned towards him and asked if he knew what a cross-gender pat down search was, how he has to pat me down as if I am a woman, he said “You are in a male facility and will be treated as such.” His male partner laughed about it. At lunch, I reported the incident first to a Sergeant and then to a
Lieutenant. Instead of separating me from the officer as required by the MDOC PREA manual, the Lieutenant made me return to the Housing Unit. The officer and his coworker, of course, rode me all President’s Day Weekend. The Lieutenant never got with me about it on Tuesday, 20 February, to straighten things out like he said he would do. Tuesday evening I recieved a mailing from SPLC with various articles from around the State and country regarding the improved policy directives. Repeatedly, Chris Gautz, MDOC spokesperson, said that they felt that the new policy directive would help to male us as safe as possible. Given the past President’s Day weekend, I was not feeling safe. Previous kites to various supervisors fell on deaf ears, so I decided to send out a cry for help Hail Mary letter tot he Health Unit Manager and to all supervisors written previously. The First Shift Captain interpreted the letter as Class I Threatening Behavior and threw me into segregation Wednesday, 21 February. Fortunately the Hearing Officer saw the letter for what it was -- a cry for help and a complaint about the officer; his sexual misconduct and retaliation because I complained about it. The Hearing Officer reduced it down to a Class II Insolence. The hearing was held on Wednesday, 28 February, but I did not get released from segregation until Friday, March 2 (even though there was absolutely no basis for them to keep me in segregation once the hearing was concluded.) Two things kept me sane for those ten days. First, reading Black and Pink. Second, reading The New Jim
Crow by Michelle Alexander. I was really inspired by the “stay strong woman” themes in a lot of the letters printed in Black & Pink. I was also moved by others who wrote about their struggles while confined as well. All of which reminded me that my stand against staff-on-prisoner sexual misconduct and prison officials retaliation for complaining about it was not in vain, but rather my small contribution to our overall struggle to be treated in a fair equitable manner by all. I have filed several PREA grievances over what happened. Not so much to get various staff members in trouble in their individual capacity (or to make things personal) or to collect money from my misfortune and their lack of training but rather in their official capacity so that we all walk away from that experience as having learned something and having become better people for those crises. Then again, I do find it amazing that the universe used a lowly inmate like me to enlighten the powers that be on how to treat us in a fair and equitable manner. It is also heartwarming to know that women who come after me will not have to experience the same dung that I went through. No matter how strong you try to be, and I was, there is also that point where you could also easily give up. I think that is where reading past issues of Black and Pink were cheering me on, “Go girl! You can do this! The Man cannot get you! We will prevail! and so on. For this, and for all that you and our Community does, know that I am eternally grateful! Sincerely, Jami from West Michigan
blackandpink.org
Volume 9, Issue 5
“Confused and Afraid” To all my LGBT Brothers and sisters Hey! This is my first time writing so let me say a little about who I am first. My name is Brian Davis aka “Nerd Life” or “Baltimore”. The first one is tatted on my knuckles, the second is where I was raised. I am 25 years old. White, with brown hair and eyes. I have a sex case. In all honesty, I got put in a bad situation when I was 18. I was arrested in 2013. I am really writing seeking guidance for multiple things. I am very confused. I lived a
very sheltered life. I have never had any sexual experience, I’ve never been in a relationship beyond letters with somebody who destroyed my confidence (fuck him). I like women, I like men, but I don’t know what to do. A lot of older guys here who are gay, and some my age constantly try to talk to me and “be with me.” I don’t know why. I’m inexperienced, I have never even kissed anyone. I don’t know what they see in me. Someone to talk to would be nice, I don’t know what I am, it’s hard. I have a second problem, was recently put on G4 for assault on an offender, with a weapon. Someone tried to rape me and I hit him with a
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lock and sock. I’ve gotten in 2 fights in 2 weeks back here. I can’t fight so really, I went and got beat up twice because I won’t “pay protection.” and I’m at a loss on what to do. I’m on Gib Lewis. A “safe” unit, but it’s also a “gang unit.” I have respect in population. I’m open, I’m honest, I do good business, and I will “get out there.” Anyway, some advice from people who know how it is would be nice. I have 5 done on a 20, and shit, prison is scary. But I’m staying strong knowing there’s support. Love to all, thanks for listening (reading), Brian D. (TX) Dear Black & Pink family,
Love Is Hate, Hate Is Sorrow Love is hate, as hate is sorrow Will I even be alive tomorrow: A broken heart fused by hate A shattered soul, locked away Broken wings, a song to sing Your lies are poison, the venom stings. I gave you me, absolute, You crushed me completely, under boot. I still write you, apologizing, I think it’s my fault, that’s why I’m crying.
Love is hate, hate is sorrow I died today, I’ll survive tomorrow.
By Brian D. (TX) #NERDLIFE
Maybe one day someone will see Open my cage and set me free, I know for a fact it won’t be you Someday I’ll hear an “I love you”
First, thanks for all the work you do and support you give. Every time I receive a newsletter it helps me feel like someone is thinking of me. I am on my second prison sentence. My first was 4 years, this time I am doing 2 years. I had someone who called me family that I was in county with suddenly stop answering my calls and stop writing to me. How is that supportive? I wish I was stronger. I am 28, a bisexual man, and I’m afraid to tell people because of judgement. I struggle with low self-esteem—I am a bit overweight and have always been picked on for it. So how do I handle being overweight and being bisexual? To other people it’s ammo for insults. I’m a person who loves people. So I don’t understand how one can humiliate someone because of their orientation. I’d love to get this letter published, maybe get some feedback. Love to all my Black & Pink family! Luke E. (ME)
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Hey, everyone. First of all I’d like to say shouts out to the LGBTQ brothers and sisters and community! My name is Jorge AKA Beaver and we all know what Beavers like to do lol...I’m 31 years young out of Ft Worth TX. I’m doing a 12 year sentence for agg. robbery. Yes I did make some mistakes in life when I was young minded who hasn’t?! I’m new (since April) and to tell y’all I’m lovin Black and Pink and this I want to e a part of...I’m bi and lovin’ in and can’t wait to get out this cruel and evil place. I been bisexual 10 years and I’m proud of who I am.
Freedom What is freedom but a dream to me. It’s been so long since I felt free, walking down the street happy as can be. Being free like a bird, flying this way and that way. And now I sit here thinking about how I once knew that feeling of being free. I once had my freedom. And now it’s all I wish to be. But Freedom is but a dream to me. By John S. (PA)
Black & Pink News
August/September 2018
But just comin’ out, and I want everyone to know...that I feel great of myself for comin’ out. At first I was kind of scared. and was no one gonna like me and I’m lose my close friends but didn’t thanks lord...they respected me...some people call me queer, faggot, punk, but forget em’ haters I’m do me and stand up for who I am and stand tall for my LGBTQ brothers and sisters... I’m a very outgoing. down to earth individual. I love to work out, read, draw, and crack jokes at every turn. I’m a dork @ heart since my incarceration I’ve learned a lot about the LGBTQ brothers and sisters. I’m seeking help to
reach out to the positive end of the community for when I get out in this near future, so I can stay on the right track upon release...so if there’s anyone out there who can help me?? I’m willing to meet new friends... I’ve learned in this rough life is very few will stand tall when all fails so if you stand by me through this now I’ll always stand by your life’s (ups and downs) let’s stay united and stand tall my brothers and sisters out da rainbow community. Peace out everyone.
#MeToo: It’s time for prisons to acknowledge the fact that people, especially transgender people, have been and still are being sexually assaulted. Some years ago in a California prison I was raped by a man that I was put in a cell with. I said “no” but it didn’t stop him. The next day without saying a word to staff, I was moved to a cell by myself. Other inmates heard me trying to fight him off and told staff the next day. Nothing happened to him. I was told by staff to sign a paper stating was not an enemy or else go to ad seg. He was still allowed to keep his job. This was and still is how prisons deal with those who rape others. Of the 23 years that I have spent in prison, I have been almost sexually assaulted, beaten up by an inmate at work because he didn’t like transgender people. I received a cut to my right eye and several other bruises. I have reported to staff about the predators here. An inmate came and sat at the table while I was eating. I told him he couldn’t sit there. He said if I didn’t like it we could get ‘em up. I reported that to staff and again I was told to
sign a paper for enemy concerns. Most recently I went to classification committee for single cell status. I was told that I could move to a dorm with all males— from 12 to 150 men—or transfer. At the same hearing I was told by an associate warden that I am biologically male, while sitting in front of these four men with a full face of make-up and female clothes. Another warden said, “you seem to be able to function when you are in the hallway.” I informed him “but I don’t have to sleep in the hallway.” Being sexually assaulted and attacked hasn’t left me a victim. It has given me the strength to stand up and say THIS NEEDS TO STOP. And it needs to stop now. More needs to be done inside prisons to transgender people safe and to hold predators and rapists accountable. Please don’t be afraid to speak out. Our voices need to be heard—loudly. We don’t need to be bitter. We need to be better about taking a stand against prison rape. #MeToo
Love Loyalty and Respects, Beaver (TX)
Lisa S. (CA)
Volume 9, Issue 5
Greetings from the California medical facility and the Positive Actions Create Everything (P.A.C.E) group. Our founder and emotional leader, Lisa S., recently transferred to San Quentin and is encountering resistance and difficulties at that supposed bastion of enlightenment and rehabilitation that is San Quentin. According to her short note to another family publication, the staff have some pronoun usage issues and there is resistance to providing departmentally approved women’s clothing for trans women housed in male institutions. What, exactly, is the state attempting to teach the prisoners about tolerance and understanding when the authorities are unable the model the very behavior they claim to be requiring? On a positive note, the mental health department at CMF is reaching out to the LGBT community for insight into how the psych department can support LGBT prisoners. There is a roundtable discussion scheduled in early April. Statewide, California is undergoing a massive (in terms of philosophy and mission) sea-change in its prisons. Plans are already in motion to create program facilities (PFs) where prisoners who want to program, receive rehabilitative services, and refrain from violence can be housed. California has two main populations in prison: General Population (GP) and Sensitive Needs (SNY). The PF plan involves mixing these two to a limited extent. Historically, GP has refused to house with SNY.
blackandpink.org
Time will tell if the Department has the will to actually create and maintain institutions that focus on rehabilitation instead of warehousing prisoners in hate factories. In CMF I look forward to the change. I hope that more family returns and that our LGBT community continues to prosper. We have three LGBT groups here—one primarily for trans people, and two for everyone. I’ve been in prison for 30 years and I’ve never seen even one LGBT group. So, a shout out to family in California prisons: CMF isn’t a terrible place for us. We still have intolerance and phobia, but there are also heartwarming examples of tolerance, inclusion and support—from other prisoners and staff. There are very little politics here, for he most part people are free to be who they are. But, lest y’all get it twisted, this is still prison after all and bad things happen—it’s just that they seem to happen less around here. I hope to meet some new friends soon : )
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YOUR LOVE (dedicated to those whose love is real and unconditional) Your love has me climbing walls to get to you Your love has me addicted to you, can’t get enough of you you’re like chocolate melting in my mouth Your love has my heart racing beating like a heart attack please call 911 Your love has me going crazy inside By William C. (PA)
Hugs and kisses, Cole (CA) PS. I want to acknowledge those who break barriers and live authentically: Lisa, who started PACE; Sylvia, who patiently makes her way through the world, regardless of what anyone else thinks; Darren (for the BBC); Star, for being fabulous; Bear for reacting quickly to what Sylvia saw; and to the rest of our little family here at CMF for making life a little brighter. By Thomas W. (VA)
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Black & Pink News
August/September 2018
By Pedro Rogelio S. (TX)
Hello Family, This news letter is uplifting, nurturing, liberating, compassionate and also very very insightful. I’m new here at Southwoods prison and I tend to isolate myself mostly to stay drama free. This guy gave me a few copies if you guys issue and after reading thoroughly through each page I felt like an instant relative. The message is so clear: “I’m here, your there we care.” I want my letter to be a little more informative for my family in the penal system I’ll also share about me and my outlook on life; I’m twenty-two. I just turned twenty-two on the twenty-second of September & don’t know hwy but the irony is special to me. I’m in prison for a petty shoplifting turned robbery. I was sentenced to a three year team with a mandatory three years parole. My crime was violent and fell under the “No early release act” (Nera) I violated parole which why I’m currently in prison. I was wrong and didn’t use my mind for any other than
manipulation. I notice when I used the word “petty” my intent was to minimize the severity of my crime… a crime is a crime and the reward should be prison or a penalty. My LGBTQ family we must take full responsibility for ourselves. Prision isn’t supposed to be comfortable (and with the exception of “federal”) people of all races and all genders struggle in this setting. Every last “inmate,” “detainee,” “patient” or prisoner we can all speak of an injustice opposed against us. I’m not saying any of it to discourage you from your rights. But to also pick your battles. I’m learning this the hard way my family. #word up Very soon my debt to society will be paid in full in-sha-Allah and I may move on with my life while saving others. My family I want you to ask yourself is being a felon or LGBTQ gonna defined your existence? My aspirations in life is to save a life through my words and art. That’s where my peace and happiness lies. My dreams are to become a skin care specialist,
writer and own a franchise. I’d also want babies and to buy a home. When I’m hopeless and helpless, a little impatient or selfish. When I’m alone with nothing but a cup of tea and a borrowed issue of Black & Pink & cling to my dreams it’s not much but it’s all that I got! My family, become more optimistic! This problem won’t be a problem much longer. Have faith in the Creator! Everything takes time; justice, healing, freedom, forgiveness, and growth all takes time. This is something I’ve learned in time. My family behind the wall and also beyond. If you gonna be fucking and believing the dreams these men or women selling. Be careful! Ask to see your mates updated test results. If the person doesn’t have them, tell them to utilize the “sick call” and request labs through “Medical.” I’m single, HIV negative and I’m well aware of the risks I’ve taken. Now I practice being faithful to one man we never had sex. Nor are we exclusive but I feel compelled to save myself for him & he’s special to me in so many
Volume 9, Issue 5
ways. But I’ll never pressure him or rush the relationship I’ve learned from my mistakes & Allah has blessed me tremendously I have already a lovely support system and now have an extended (one.) Thank you Tray for keeping intact the newsletter & look forward to your progress. “Rosalyn” I pray that Allah brings you peace and Blessings I wanted my letter to be read all the way through. So I teased about who I am. I’m sorry but sometimes I’m guilty of skipping letters that doesn’t “fit me” or relate to me. I did that at first by force of habit. Every story, letter, article concerns of my family matters even if it’s a “distant cousin” =) (smile) I am a trans-woman. Very far in my transition. I’m African American, West Indian and French. Very outspoken and opinionated. I was born and raised Muslim but practiced the Gospel briefly.
“LGBT Family” I’ve been reading the Black & Pink News since 2017. I’m part of the LGBT Family. I was once hiding and afraid of who I was. Until I see all the disrespect and wrong people one to the LGBT Family and its wrong people done to the LGBT Family and its wrong to be that way towards Gay/Bi/ Trans people we only have one life to live and can’t no body ever take that from me. I’m more happy with myself then anything , even though my family has stopped dealing with me cause they found out I was gay, Well this is my life nobody else. I’m at the point where I don’t care what people say or do I’m my
blackandpink.org
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I’m in Southwood’s prison in New Jersey. I’m trying to get them to pay for my reassignment surgery. Do anyone know the rights of a Trans-genders in jail in New Jersey? Also may you send me tons of resources for my Muslim faith and Transgenders what can and can’t we get on health care? Surgery wise? How come we can’t send pics I’d love to see the other writers and artists as well. We’re beautiful! As far as pen pals go I’m looking for a trans-gender who’s got time to do and need a friend. And some advice. And comfort Mariah Carey sometimes annoys me but she has this song called “Any Time You Need a Friend.” If you guys got tablets buy that song. It brought me to tears. K. Michelle’s “God I Get It” (so dope) Music got me by on a bad day
I love all of you humans Continues to love yourself and one another.
own person. I love my lifestyle and I want to continue writing y’all even when I get out and have the news sent to my address. It’s a lot of people in the world that don’t like gay/bi/trans family members, well I’m here to say we is a family and we stick by each other side no matter what and for us to be in prison we should have respect but we don’t. Everybody look down at us and say faggot this faggot that don’t want to be around us, but behind their friends back, try to get us to give them some head, no tea, no share, but true. There’s to much disrespectful inmates and officers in the Department of Corrections and we should do something about it. I’m looking for a family to
be part of, and be myself. I have Black & Pink but I also want a gay family. I feel a lot better around my brothers and sisters. It’s a lot more where that came from, I’m just living my life. I’ve wrote a book since I’ve been locked up and I’m going to publish it when I get out and I”m going to write another one on the LGBTQ Family when I get to put it all out there. It’s going to be about the lifestyle and how to get along with everybody we respect everybody and want the same back in return.
Love, Zoë Z. (NJ) P.S. Are we even allowed a “P.S.” don’t want to take too much space from another writer. But I’d like to thank from every once of my heart to my family, and support system. To my mom, I’m sorry and I love you! I am you. To my sister Shakorah you are the epitome of a sister, mother, survivor To my best friends Samanth Beachun and Chanel Dennis. Sometimes I sit and think were have you bitched come from. Your loyalty to me is endlessly and to me that’s the true meaning of friendship. To Mark I love you! All praises to the Most High!
Until next time, Love fam always, Mr. Real, Mario W. (GA)
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Black & Pink News
August/September 2018
Buscando Contribuciones
Call for Submissions
¡Hola hermosa familia hispano-parlante de Black & Pink!
Seeking erotic short stories, poems, and art by Black & Pink incarcerated and free-world family members for a new zine. To be mailed, art cannot include full nudity. Please send submissions (and shout out to the authors from the first issue mailed in January!) addressed to Black & Pink — HOT PINK. This is a voluntary project, and no money will be offered for submissions, but you might get the chance to share your spicy story with many other readers! The zine will be sent one or two times per year.
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