Move Up, Move Up: Reconciling Privilege and Power

By David Booth, Deputy Executive Director, Black & Pink

Over the course of my decade-long advocacy and organizing career I have worn a number of hats. Whether it’s an infuriated keyboard warrior too scared to stand on the front lines or an empathic leader sharing lessons on love and redemption, those hats carry a heavy responsibility. I find myself turning inward a lot lately and asking why do I advocate for the things I do? Dom calls this your why, and it sits heavy in my spirit.

I have learned countless lessons and acquired valuable knowledge from my fellow reformists and abolitionists. The lessons have touched on planting seeds to cultivate community care, discovering what resources fertilize that care and which cause wilting, and finding the courage to stop apologizing for blooming. Much of this is steeped in the wisdom of women of color, especially Black women such as Mariame Kaba. These lessons have allowed me to grow from a sad, angry, and lonely queer person who’s experienced the trauma of incarceration to someone who whispers an “I love you” to their reflection. It’s in reflecting on my why for this work that it’s clear. None of these lessons would have been possible without pausing to make room for other experiences and identities; and allowing criticism to shed more light.

In learning to share my resources, I came to understand that creating space is mutually beneficial. Experience taught me to check the pulse of the conversation. Who belongs in this space? What identities are being discussed here? Who is dominating the conversation? I learned to listen for murmurs. Who should be here, but is absent? Why are those identities not in this conversation? Which identities are being erased - intentionally or not? It is in the pockets of silence that we find the space that must be expanded to make room for those silenced.

What exactly is this “space”? Why must it be found? Why must it be expanded?

As a community, we’ve been taught to believe that something is wrong with the identities we carry. That our transness or queerness is unnatural. That Blackness and Brownness is to be feared. That experience with the system implies dangerousness. That the only acceptable way to be is a cis, white, straight, and able-bodied male. We owe it to ourselves to rethink the fable of ideal identity. No one holds either a perfect identity or all the answers for the sum of the human experience. You exist as beautifully, uniquely you, - flaws and all. Space is needed to unpack our complex life experiences and figure out how we move in this world.

As a white, gender unbound person; who presents as a fairly handsome “male” (most of the time), I can’t speak for the experiences of a Black trans woman. I can’t tell them, or inform others on, how they have experienced the world. If I did, it would strip them of their agency. It would speak over them, and without their permission. It would assert an assumed control over their story. This Black trans woman would then have more obstacles to surmount just to reclaim ownership over their life experiences. Instead of lending a hand up, I would have actively contributed to their oppression and their silence. How can we, as a community, rethink the fable and claim the most authentic version of ourselves if we’re silencing unique perspectives?

We can’t. Privilege is a spectrum and each of our identities adds or subtracts to the power we can wield. We make space by owning the inherent privileges we all carry. Owning is unapologetically stating your privileged experience. There is no shame in the privilege you hold, only in how you choose to wield it. I am white, middle-class, and educated. I understand the power that privilege has to shift the conversation. I understand my voice and my identity is out loud. By acknowledging the full complexity of my lived experiences, I can invite in silenced voices and silenced identities. Other voices can then be heard, can assume leadership, and willingly allow for their agency not only in the problem, but in the solution.

Oh, that’s cute. But how exactly can this be achieved?

Move up, move up is one of my go-to descriptions for relating to people. Is there a tendency to speak more or to listen more? It’s a deceptively simple ask, but it challenges us to think about how we communicate and engage with other people. The implicit beauty of “move up, move up” is that it encourages us to lean into our vulnerability and grow into a space of learning.

If you are someone who tends to speak out and share, then move up into a space of mindful listening. Pay attention to more than just what the speaker is saying. What does their body say? How about their tone of voice - is it angry, sad, neutral, joyful, etc.? Pay attention to your own thoughts. What emotions and sensations are coming up as you listen? Is your mind going off in another direction? Is your face flush or your pulse racing? Why are those emotions triggering this reaction?

If you are someone who tends to listen more and hide your truth, then move up into a space of empowerment. Risk moving out of your comfort zone and speak freely. Let your ideas, thoughts, and opinions be heard. Own the importance of your voice. Pay attention to how you feel as you communicate and the bodily sensations that come with it. Is doubt leading you to lose track of your thoughts or stutter? Is fear leading you to quickly speak? Work with the emotions that come up. It might be helpful to take a few breaths before you speak and affirm to yourself that you’re a boss bitch. You are in charge of you. No one else.

Honestly, this is not easy work. Interrogating how you show up in a relationship is hard work, it’s soul work. It takes patience, loving kindness, and owning your inherent value as a human. But that growth is necessary work. It grants you the permission to identify your privileges, your ideas about your self-worth, and how the world you live in helped shape those ideas. Every day presents a new opportunity to think about the privileges you hold and how you will choose to wield them.

What’s your move today?

Art by Shaylanna L. (NY)