Black & Pink News Volume 5, Issue 7— December 2018

Black and Pink News

artwork by celeste byers, courtesy of amplifier.org

December 2018: Special Holiday Issue

artwork by johanna toruno, courtesy of amplifier.org

Volume 9, Issue 7

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A message from Dominique...

Hello Family!

Well darlings - another year down!

My goodness it feels like it was just January and we were in a very bleak space. Fast forward and I feel so alive with appreciation and excitement for what is in store for Black and Pink.

This is a special issue! We heard your feedback about submissions being published and we have worked hard over the last 6 months to get up to date with processed letters! We can say that we are very close to achieving that goal.

I think about being inside during the holidays - waiting for Holiday Boxes from the canteen (when I had

the money), commiserating with my sisters cooking burritos (one day I’ll share my fab recipe) and finding what traditions would be come my new normal. I want to say to you all that no matter where you are - it’s okay to find joy. You may be creating a new normal but it’s yours and that’s special. We on the inside love each other in ways others can’t understand.

I send the gift of peace. Peace of your heart and mind.

I send the gift of contentment.

Being at the pinnacle of happiness isn’t always feasible. Continuous contentment is a blessing I promise.

I send the gift of renewal. Tomorrow

is a new day. No matter how bad today is or was - you have tomorrow boo. I held on to that and still do.

Holiday card parties are happening so look out for those! As long as we have each other as Black and Pink family we’ll never be alone in this thing. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year.

Oh PS - I’m adding a vision board template. Dreaming is good for the spirit. Trust me.

Love, Dominique Morgan National Director Black and Pink, Inc Omaha, Nebraska

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In This Issue News you can use Ray Hill, ‘citizen provocateur’ who fought for gay rights and prison reform pages 5-6

Black & Pink family Art pages 20, 31, 33 Letters pages 7-33 Poetry pages 34-37 Excerpt from Infamous page 35 Submit to Black and Pink! page 38

Black & Pink News Black & Pink Hotline The hotline phone number is (531) 600-9089. The hotline will be available Sundays, 1-5 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time) for certain. You can call at other times, as well, and we will do our best to answer your calls as often as possible. We are sorry that we can only accept prepaid calls at this time. The purposes of the hotline are: Supportive listening: Being in prison is lonely, as we all know. The hotline is here for supportive listening so you can just talk to someone about what is going on in your life.

Organizing: If there are things going on at your prison—lockdowns, guard harassment, resistance, or anything else that should be shared with the public—we can help spread the word.

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work toward the abolition of the prison-industrial complex (PIC) is rooted in the experiences of currently and formerly incarcerated people. We are outraged by the specific violence of the PIC towards LGBTQ people, and we respond through advocacy, education, direct service, and organizing. Black & Pink is proudly a family of people of all races and ethnicities.

About Black & Pink News Since 2007, Black & Pink free world volunteers have pulled together a monthly newspaper, composed primarily of material written by our family’s incarcerated members. In response to letters we receive, we send the newspaper to more prisoners every month! Black & Pink News currently reaches more than 9,400 prisoners!

Give us a call! (531) 600-9089 Sundays, 1-5 p.m. EST

We look forward to hearing from you! This is our first attempt at this so please be patient with us as we work it all out. We will not be able to answer every call, but we will do our best. We apologize to anyone who has been trying to get through to the hotline with no success. We are still working out the system. Thank you for being understanding.

Restrictions: The hotline is not a number to call about getting on the penpal list or to get the newspaper.

The hotline is not a number to call for sexual or erotic chatting. The hotline is not a number for getting help with your current court case; we are not legal experts.

Statement of Purpose Black & Pink is an open family of LGBTQ prisoners and “free world” allies who support each other. Our

Disclaimer The ideas and opinions expressed in Black & Pink News are solely those of the authors and artists and do not necessarily reflect the views of Black & Pink. Black & Pink makes no representations as to the accuracy of any statements made in Black & Pink News, including but not limited to legal and medical information. Authors and artists bear sole responsibility for their work. Everything published in Black & Pink News is also on the internet—it can be seen by anyone with a computer. By sending art or written work to “Newspaper Submissions,” you are agreeing to have it published in Black & Pink News and on the internet. In order to respect our members’ privacy, we publish only first names and state locations. We may edit submissions to fit our anti-oppression values and/or based on our own editing guidelines.

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December 2018

Ray Hill, Advocate for Gay Rights and Prison Reform, Dies at 78

By Harrison Smith

The Washington Post, December 2, 2018 Ray Hill, a onetime Baptist evangelist and convicted cat burglar who galvanized the gay rights movement in Houston, helped organize the first gay march on Washington and drew on his own experience behind bars to host a radio call-in show for inmates and their families, died Nov. 24. He was 78.

Mr. Hill died at Omega House, a Houston hospice center that he had helped establish in the 1980s as a refuge for AIDS patients. He had

congenital heart defects and had lost his left leg and part of his right foot because of diabetes.

After being hospitalized earlier this year as a result of his heart problems, he “decided to go off most of his medications,” said his friend Richard Nevilles. “With help, he could get into a wheelchair, and that’s not who he was or how he wanted to live.”

Mr. Hill was a towering figure in Houston, where his funeral was held Sunday on the steps of City Hall and his death was met with a statement from Mayor Sylvester Turner, who called Mr. Hill a “warrior” in the fight for “for gay

rights, human rights [and] criminal justice reforms.”

Raised in nearby Galena Park, where he was quarterback of the high school football team and tried to upstage his senior prom by joining the communist revolution in Cuba, Mr. Hill turned from preaching to stealing and was sentenced to 160 years in prison on burglary charges.

He successfully appealed the sentence and, after a little more than four years, was released in 1975 for good behavior, leading him to embark on a four-decade career as an activist and rabble-rouser.

“I was born to rub the cat hair the wrong direction,” Mr. Hill once told

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the Houston Chronicle. In a separate interview, when asked to describe his primary occupation, he called himself “a journeyman-quality hellraiser.”

In 1987, Mr. Hill successfully took the city of Houston to the U.S. Supreme Court, where he won the right to interrupt police officers on First Amendment grounds. He had been arrested five years earlier for shouting “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” while cops confronted his friend, according to the New Yorker. When Mr. Hill was described in the court’s decision as a “citizen provocateur,” he adopted the description as a formal title and had it printed on business cards.

While his focus was on grassroots efforts in his hometown, he developed a friendship with Harvey Milk, the San Francisco gay rights activist and city supervisor, and partnered with him to organize the 1979 National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights.

In 1980, he created “The Prison Show,” which featured muckraking reporting on the Texas prison system as well as a novel call-in segment, in which families updated inmates with holiday greetings or family news, including the scores of children’s soccer games and birth or death announcements.

At the time of the show’s creation, Texas prisoners were effectively unable to call home. Mr. Hill later lobbied for a 2007 law that enables most of the state’s inmates to call relatives.

In 1977 when he led a Houston demonstration against Anita Bryant, whose platform as a singer, beauty pageant winner and orange juice spokeswoman made her one of the country’s most prominent opponents of homosexuality.

Mr. Hill went on to organize

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Ray Hill and Shan Donaldson hosted “The Prison Show,” a call-in program that gave inmates’ families a venue in which to discuss prison issues and send messages to their loved ones. Photograph: Mary Urech Roberts

an event known as Town Meeting 1, which resulted in the creation of LGBTQ community centers in Houston, and created street patrols designed to put an end to summertime beatings of gay men in the city. Among the most prominent was the 1991 murder of a young gay man named Paul Broussard.

Mr. Hill helped draw attention to his murder and later angered some fellow activists when he befriended Broussard’s killer, Jon Buice, and insisted that it was less a hate crime than a drunken mistake.

Raymond Wayne Hill was born in Houston on Oct. 13, 1940. His parents were labor activists — his mother organized nurses for the Teamsters, and his father organized shipyard workers for the AFLCIO — who brought him up in a household where Saul Alinsky, Samuel Gompers and John L. Lewis formed a kind of left-wing Trinity.

When he came out as gay while in high school at Galena Park, his mother was relieved, Mr. Hill recalled. “She said, ‘Well, we notice you dress up more than the other

boys in the neighborhood, and we thought you were trying to pretend to be wealthier than we are, and we were afraid you might grow up to be a Republican. So if you’re gay, we can handle that.”

Mr. Hill had previously served as an itinerant evangelist, traveling the countryside until, at the age of 17, “I decided that was dishonest work and I gave that up and took up more honest work. I became a burglar.”

He never graduated from college but said he stole “jewelry, antiques, art — you know, stuff queers really like,” before being arrested in 1970 and imprisoned.

When his older sister Mary died in a car accident in 1977, Mr. Hill raised her two children. He leaves no immediate survivors, Nevilles said.

“I believe that life is service.

And service is its own reward,” he told the Chronicle. “When you die, they’re not gonna gather around your coffin and talk about what wonderful things you did for yourself. I’m just trying to give them something to talk about.”

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Letters from Our Black & Pink Family Hello B&P FAM-- “Happy New Year” to each and everyone of you.

Hello B&P FAM--- “Happy New Year” to each and everyone of you.

Its me PAPI, a NEW writer to write B&P, to share a few word’s with each of you! Being the NEW YEAR... its now up to you what NEW accomplishments/goals you would like to achieve in your journey my friends?? Always KNOW there are many of us as yourself... trapped and incarcerate within these walls.

Personally Ive been incarcerated over 20 years... so believe me I firmly KNOW the harsh reality’s one can face. One thing I learned many year’s ago was--- education/ knowledge comes within yourself.

Studying LAW has become a passion to me... A WEAPON to defend oneself from these Administrative so-called Criminal Justice folks.

You & you alone can learn this field if your willing to saca sacrafice some of your personal TIME. You would be surprised how much weaponry/knowledge is within that Law Library. All it takes is a little will & determination and above all... taking the initiative step to learn it :) As we can see..... things will only get a lil more harder. with all these political changes.. it is now 2017 to firmly bring awareness to each of us... to take that extra step and truly learn the system. Wether in here or out there... our civil right’s are KEY to FREEDOM.. and believe me we do have a voice as the so called minorities?? Ohh yes i deed... but it takes sacrifices... sometimes a change will not come overnight as we all have/experienced (am

sure) main thing is.. do NOT give up HOPE... learn your rights... put them on paper.. practice your learning skills and you best believe. we will get some act right ;) so get it mamacitas y papitos.... ohh yes in deed... get these folks with their own bylaws! Overall.. we are blessed to have B&P in our team.

I hold much admiration and RESPECT for their desire and HUNGER to bring JUSTICE for US ALL within these walls and in the free-world :O) MUCH LUV B&P... we must fight for what is RIGHT!!

So with these words I will close.... were there’s a will there’s a way.

Don’t ever say its IMPOSSIBLE! B&P is a prime EXAMPLE... look how far they have come?? And till this day they are only getting stronger... and guess what?? All for each and everyone of us! So in closing... may this NEW YEAR truly be filled with many blessings & accomplishments within your goals... may tomorro’s bring us all UNITY, STRENGTH & LOVE! In solidarity, Papi (TX) *Spanish submission for magazine* Hola Mis Querido’s Miembros de Black Y Pink, aqi les queria inviar y felizitar un FELIZ ANO NEUVO. Esperando y desiando que este ano neuvo te brinda muchas bendiciones y mas que todo... gran progreso en tu’s desellos de progresar en tu camino de esta vida.

Me disen Papi, soy un Neuvo escrito a BYP seria bonito poder a recivir su’s revista con cartas/ avisos en ESPANOL verdad? ten en mente que no estan solo’s... yo

se que sera dificil dentro de dedicar mas tiempo personal y aprender tu’s derechos humanos. YO se que a ser limitado en encontrar lectura/ material en espanioil... No pierdas esperansa ay muchas avenidas que uno puede iniciar para encontrar tales materiales.. solo de escriber a organicaciones o aste puedes dirijir siertos asuntos a tu consultado de tu pais. De todo a todo.. esperemos que BYP puedainviar mas informacion en estas areas? Solo se nececita que tu agas tu parte y escribas.. dales idea en que area buscas ayuda/apollo ok? So enpeisa este ano neuvo con mucho animo... educate tu mismo... ya que con educacion tray progreso, no crelles? Bueno esta sera corta por esta ves... de neuvo no estas solo.. so andale mamacitas y papitos ANIMO Y RECUERDA.... SI SE PUEDE! Sige posertivo.. asta la proxima.

Con Respeto

*Papi* (TX)

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I’m 29 years of age now and I”m almost done with my prison term of 10 years. I’m at 29 months now and I”m ready to start my new life over from fresh. And I’m ready to get away from all this disrespect towards the LGBT family here.

There are so many homophobic men at this camp and I’m in the dorm with a lot of homophobic gang members. I’m so ready to get away from it, cause it’s really making me sick. The way people act around gay men like we don’t have a life it’s the same way with our trans sisters as well. The administration is the worst towards the LGBT community.

But people don’t understand that.

Individuals look at the fact we are openly gay/bisexual/trans men and it’s wrong, how come cause we living our life.

Ain’t nobody going to push me away from my LGBT Family at no means whatsoever. I’m going to stand strong and stand up for the LGBTQ Community.

It’s my family and what I stand for we need a lot of family members to stand up for us and do not give up cause once we show we giving up and not standing up then we have no respect towards us and this lifestyle and family.

I’m also sad about the ones we’ve lost cause of no good people that don’t care about nothing. Also the family members that took their own life, if we stand together and stand up for our LGBTQ Family members.

Then we shouldn’t have those family members giving up and stand strand

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strong always. I also want to give a shout out to those who are being themselves and standing up for what’s right, and what you believe in and that’s being yourself and I respect that.

Much love Fam,

Real (GA)

I’m a transgender, since I’ve been in prison I’ve been forced to face myself and my sexual feelings. It wasn’t easy but I did it, and work hard as hell. I solve one problem for another one to pop up out of nowhere. It keeps me ticking, but I’m turning to you my brothers and sisters of black and pink.

Prison gay LGBTQ people are made to be more oppressed than any other group within the walls, living lives of abject slavery, sold and traded among the powerful, forced into prostitution, tossed about as footballs and prizes in racial and other power struggles and structures, tormented by conflicts over their sexual identity and role, isolated, humiliated, ashamed and often suicidal.

I search my heart. I can find only two people I love. My sister (real), because she’s my moral supporter and my ex-husband, I’ve never met a single being who did not enjoy hearing the words “I love you.”

So if you’re like me we got to stop wearing our hearts on our hands begging for love and friendship from people who don’t want to be loving and friendly.

We need to accomplish a number of objectives outside of self. For me

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I’ve found a close friend to be very instrumental in these perspectives and areas a short time ago, another transgender sister named Shug.

Lately I find letting go of personal desires very difficult. I find little things in life are the most things that upset me, maybe it is lack of selfcontrol. Maybe it’s that I don’t want to get involved in the egotistical world around me.

It has for some time, occurred to me that I need people to inspire and nurture me, and to be a focal point for reflection.

Hugs + kisses,

Cindy Lou (MD) Dear B&P, I am a 21 year old transgender in the Oklahoma DOC, I have know I wanted to be female since I was a kid but my parents were not only unsupportive but abusive. I still love them though... I’ve been in jail and now prison since a few months after I turned 18. I went to “the Walls” which is Oklahoma State Penitentiary and I lived on death row for a year during which I was told “there’s not much we can do” about my needs. Then I came to Joseph Hare which was a blessing, but the mental health staff told me to send requests to Medical and Medical told me it was a mental health issue.

Several months passed. I finally got through to a doctor who was going to help me but as fate would have it a man confronted me and a friend of mine (my trans-mother, love you!) and called us “fags” “its” and when I walked away he followed me and called me a “bitch.” I laid hands on him unfortunately and was sent to the behavioral unit. Here I sit, waiting

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first and foremost for an evaluation to determine “what’s wrong” with me, and the mental health staff down here says they don’t want me to get gender reassignment because they think it’s just how I want to cope with being in prison. I have not been evaluated, hardly even talked to. It’s testing my patience.

purposes and *on paper* looks fairly impressive, as it defines how gender dysphoric/ transgender inmates are to be treated and sets forth a clearly delineated set of policies for this purpose while also defining certain “rights” or allowances of the gender dysphoric/ transgender inmate population.

I will get back on the yard someday, get my GDD diagnosis and start the process. For now I’m stuck but rooting for all my trans fam out there (Sasha/Daryl-Lynn, Cassie) out in the world.

Unfortunately, due to the fact thta staff consistently do not make this information available, the “Gender Dysphoric/ Transgender” inmates in MD DPSCS are *not* treated in accordance with these policies, or are done so selectively as in theyt choose what parts of their own policies to follow and what parts to ignore at each institution. Sadly, those who do not know what the facility is supposed to do often do not receive the proper adherence to this executive directive, if any.

They don’t allow B&P here anymore because of some erotic content but I found an old issue and I love this newspaper. I’ll keep everyone updated on my situation (if y’all want).

Much love & respect,

Beverly (OK)

Dear Black and Pink family, I am Talia Jado B. and I have written in several times. Most recently you printed my letter to Otter Lieffe about her book, “Margins and Murmurations.” I am writing you to ask for your help in getting some much needed information out to my sisters and brothers in Maryland.

But first, a little back story. In September 2016, DPSCS in MD published Executive Directive OPS.131.0001. Revised, titled “Identification, Treatment, and Correctional Management of an Inmate Diagnosed With Gender Dysphoria.” Contained in this document are guidelines and policies for the aforementioned

To begin with; although, at intake, we are adked if we identify as trangender, etc, we are almost never followed up with by staff unless *we* insist on it as I did.

And yet, this is a blatant disregard of the executive directive from page 3.OSB(1): “If any time an inmate self identifies criteria for gender dysphoria, or is referred by medical staff as possibly having gender dysphoria, a mental health clinician assigned to the inmate shall evaluate the inmate, based upon a face-to-face evaluation and a review of available inmate medical and mental health history, to determine if the inmate meets the criteria for a provisional deagnosis of gender dysphoria.”

Part 2 states: “If under .OSB(1) of this directive

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an inmate is provisionally diagnosed with gender dysphoria, the mental health clinician shall place the inmate in a mental health chronic care clinic (MHCCC.)” And yet, it is almost consistently that we have had to battle the medical and mental health staff to even have ourselves given a provisional diagnosis so we can start the process of working towards receiving treatment. most of us never get that for which makes the rest of the executive order moot...

There are provisions for how the regional treatment team and regional psychiatrist (et. al.) are to handle confirmed diagnosis of gender dysphoria, which includes treatment planning, etc. Further on are provisions for various necessary specialists, etc, which specifically includes wording for humane therapy for inmates who were either receiving prior to being incarcerated or wer not; as well as a notation about informed consent. Sadly, most of us never get beyond the first part of the stages of this document’s delimneated responsibilities/ procedures.

Later on are defined provisions which on paper *seem( to leave avaialable the possibility of a transferto “gender-appropriate” housing as opposed to “sexappropriate” (my words) yet it is difficult to understand and to date, all requests are met with either drision or ignoring. Then on the very last page of the document, it specifies that we are to be housed accordance with PREA and *then* clearly states we are to be allowed to order gender appropriate items in .0SK(2,) which states:

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Consistent with an inmate’s security level, a gender dysphoric inmate: (a) Whose assigned gender is male and expressed gender is female and who is housed in a male facility is permitted to purchase and retain clothing items and other articles authorized for other male inmates at the facility, as well as items authorized for females at a female facility; (b) Whose assigned gender is female and expressed gender is male and who is housed in a female facility is permitted to purchase and retain clothing items and other articles authorized for othe rfemale inmates at the facility, as well as items authorized for males at a male facility; and (c) May only purchase and retain personal property and commissary items that are authorized by established policy and procedures related to allowable inmate personal property.

This, on paper, looks wonderful and says that I as a trans-woman, can purchase all items women can at the female prison; and yet, sadly, this is not hte case for me on anyone yet.

Here at my facility, I am blessed to have staff who want to do the right thing and I have been allowed to purchase female clothign items, but I am denied makeup and denied transfer to the womens’ prison.

Further, at no other facility in MD do the allow us to purchase female clothing or items that females can purchase. I can only assume the same is true for the trans-men although I’m uncertain.

Part of the problem is that since the document specifies “gender dysphoric inmate” any who do not have thos magical words in their file are ignored because of

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technicality that it does not apply if the inmate is not diagnosed gender dysphoric. This gives DPSCS staff carte blanceh to follow or ignore this executive directive as they choose, and that is unacceptable.

I was fortunate in that I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria for years prior to my incarceration and so the agency was required to at least make a token adherence to this directive. However, since I only recently acquired a copy of it I was not aware of the extent to which it was ignored.

Now, although I kinow this is likely a difficult task, is ther any way you can publish at least some parts of the executive directive in an upcoming issue and this: “In order for MD to take us seriously, the trans-people need to get a copy of the executive directive and then, if they have not already done so, tell the mental health staff they have gender dysphoria.

- Next, insist on the regional treatment team being notified - Then, if they refuse to give you treatment QUOTE THE EXECUTIVE ORDER in your ARP and BE SPECIFIC. If it’s denied, APPEAL! - Be clear about what it is you want and why.

- Do not hesitate to follow up, and NEVER give up!

- Ask for everything in writing.

Whether it is good or negative.

- If possible, acquire a copy of the PREA standards; Although not as useful in THIS instance, they can become a shield and a sword in the right hands especially when you have the executive directive in the other hand...”

I’ve been on hormones since Aug

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2016, many officers here refer to me as Ms./ she/ her because I insisted on it. Only female officers strip-search or pat me down because I insisted on it. I am allowed toorder bras and panties and womens clothing in catalog because I insisted on it.

I get a private shower because I demanded it as PREA requires.

I am fighting for hair removal on my face and orchiectomy as well as SRS. If I get it it’s only because I asked and refused to take no for an answer. The regional treatment team is VERY aware of me because I write to them often! I am about to see a contracted gender dysphoria specialist because I insisted on it. I am in the process of getting permission to purchase makeup because I insisted on it.

Educate yourself as to everything the PREA standards and executive directive allows/ requires and take a stand... Ive done and will keep doing my part... it’s your turn...

With love, Lady Jade (MD) [Editor’s note: Upon recieving this submission, we sent out the full text of the Executive Directive referenced above to all of the transgender inmates we know of in Maryland.]

I’ve been receiving this great publication for more than a year now. You’ve managed to touch every emotion I have. I’ve been in TX prisons for 24 -- going on 25 -- years. Texas is by far the most oppressive state in the union. If you aren’t a conservative Republican -then by God, you are the enemy and the enemy is to be enslaved. That

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is exactly what the Texas Prison System is, legalized slavery. If you believe it’s justice or rehabilitation -- then you are a fool -- or one of them.

We are fed so bad on this particular “farm” that one of the COs actually went and complained to the Major.

We work in industries where we manufacture goods that are sold at profit to outside agencies and other countries. We actually make the majority of the non-food items that are sold in our commissary.

Our pay is fictional work and good time that in theory should be applied toward early release. But it’s discretionary. Therefore it’s worth nothing more than wasted ink on our time sheet.

If we fail to show up to our job that we’re not paid for, we recieve disciplinary. Where we could lose our much coveted work time or good time or lose our privilege to go to commissary and purchase the items we failed to go help manufacture as our punishment. We would be excused from work for being sick if we go to medical and pay a hundred dollar co-pay. I am award of the state, I labor for free, eat gravy as a main course at least three meals a week, and yet I am charged for medical. a medical bill paid by our families because we have no source of income. And the icing on the cake is that we are charged a sales tax on certain items we purchase. That is taxation without representation.

Think American Revolution.

I never had to endure a lot of what most of you would have faced.

I was a 6’6’ white man from the trailer park covered in tattoos and I should have won the Academy

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Award. I faked it to make it. I stood my ground and never betrayed the real me. Ultimately, I am paying the price for it now. I should have been true to myself and fought the good fight. I was so scared of disapproval -- well, my fears would take 10 pages to list. Now, I am ready to become who I was mean to be.

and sisters stay safe stand as one and not fight against each other. There is so much that going on, it’s time to come together. To all, I want to say Hello to Jazz down on the stiles unit stay strong girle. love you all B&P family hope to hear from you soon.

anon (TX)

Well, I’ve been in the custody of my legal kidnappers for (8) years strong for a petty crime I didn’t commit.

My situation was not about the charge.

The District Attorney told me at court that he had strong feelings that I didn’t do it. But, he couldn’t let me go home, because I was a threat. I knew too much and I opened too many peoples eyes as to what was going on. I helped over (20) people get out of the parish jail and I had info on how to obtain my own paperwork, which contained the info of my accusers.

In Louisiana, if you know how to do stuff like that, they roast you -no mercy -- too smart. I watched guys take 30 to 80 years on no evidence. Court appointed lawyers manipulating dudes with detectives present to give forced confessions out of fear. Now they are never going home. Most of the LGBTQ prisoners are already full of fear once they come to jail anyway. So the police, judges and attorneys use that fear to their advantage. In the south they hate the LGBTQ having any rights or say so anyway. In the Louisiana prison system, it’s not cool to be smart of a thinker. But that’s what I am. I know that I don’t need anything from this broken system to go home and function.

But they want you to feel that way.

I want the world to know how they rock in Louisiana and how they kidnapped me legally and took me

Hey everyone My name is Wilson. But I go by Kaylin. I am a 54 year old Gay man and very proud to say I am. Im currently serving 40 years with 25 on it here in the state that is slow about letting people go home that would be the state of TX. I have been openly Gay since the age of 13 years old, He was my first experience with the same sex, and I new I was going to love it before I did it. His name was Scott, he will not be forgotton. and for Wiz-kid in your march 2018 on when you new you was different, as you I also love to wear panties still do. Yes objects I used on myself also, so we . are no so different after all. but I do love your storys Im inspired by all of them. I hear lots of storys of life as a Trans. woman in a man’s prison Here on this unit of a little over 3000 inmates there is about 60 to 67 Trans. and a few hundred Gays and lets not forget all the ones that is scared to come out. any way what I was saying is there is little problems that I see with Trans womon, it’s like the officers here enjoys them being around don’t get me wrong we have some small minded inmates that still has stupid shit to say as long as its only words and not violence. The we should be able to dell with it as a family. I hope that all my Brothers

Kaylin (TX)

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to all of these plantations where all of these slaves let them violate their rights daily without rising up.

I want everybody to know about Gregory O. Harrell vs. the State of Louisiana. I put up my best fight and lost, but in the end I’m gonna win! I am a firm believer in the fact, that one day we will change all of this. To all of my Girls locked up going through it, stay strong!

and have my info on hand as well as yours.

Hope this motivated somebody, Sincerely I am, Lois Lane

Your Friend, Lee (CA)

Other than this, I’m happy, safe, and healthy. Working hard to be better than before. Let the old me go. One step at a time.

Well Black and pink, hope to hear From you soon in the near Future.

Take care.

Dear Black & Pink Family, Dear Black $ pink Friends It’s Lee again Just checking in to see how everyone is. I’ve been super busy in My Recovery groups and Vocational class.

I wake up at 6 Am and My Day Starts. Monday - Friday from 8am - 2pm, I’m at my vocational class. Electrical. I study for Tests, both hands on and written. Then Tuesdays & Fridays From 3:30 pm - 4:30 pm, I have my youth offender programs. (Y.P. class) On Friday Nights , I’m in Al-Anon that’s my other Recovery class.

My Lunch Starts at 11 or 12. Dinner or chow starts at 6 pm. Night yard & Dayroom is from 7 - 9pm. My weekends, I have to either walk for 2 Hours around the yard or prison gym and I’m in there for a solid hour doing a work out, or volley ball. After that I Like to come in, shower and stay in the cell to relax since My Week Day was so busy. I make sure to check My Tablet For Any Emails that might be there. It’s a Jpay Tablet. Friends & Family can Email me willingly and I get them directly. Jpay.com/Media. Sign up

Greetings to all our LGBT+ family around the country both in prison and on the outside. Happy PRIDE Month!! I want to share some happy memories we created in celebration of PRIDE! On Saturday afternoon, July 9th, gay, bisexual, transgender and allied supporters at the Forrest City Complex – LOW met in the recreation yard to stand proud and celebrate PRIDE 2018. We gathered and communed with burritos, chips and cookies. We painted rainbows on each others arms and literally had glitter flying everywhere! A resident artist also painted a rainbow flag accompanied by a beautiful drawing with the caption, “Pride with a Passion” on a blanket. We draped it on the ground and had everyone sign it around “2018”. This will become a legacy blanket that we will bring out each year showing others it is ok to be out and proud of who you are!

Overall, it was a huge success.

We had over 35 people show up for the cause and the confidence and happiness that they displayed was inspirational. It encouraged comradery between ourselves and

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brought awareness to the prison population, making the statement: “we are proud to be out and open despite our environment.” It was an awesome sight of unity and support.

I am so proud of all that came and attended.

We further enshrined the day with a group photo which 35 people had the courage to stand on display for all to see! That same evening after dinner chow, we continued our celebration tossing some frisbees around and eating delicious banana pudding. It was a nice ending to a fulfilling day.

Elsewhere on the compound our PRIDE has been flourishing. As part of the Affirmative Employment Program, which the staff partake in, the Education Department has routinely supported the various federally recognized awareness months, mainly by putting up posters.

Some of the months recognized are African American History, Pacific Islander History, Hispanic Heritage, etc. Never have we had LGBT Pride recognized even though it is listed as a federal awareness month. This year however, the prison graciously supported our effort to ‘paint the halls’ with our pride! All in all, we had 15 posters up in the hallways and a few more in our library.

They depict varying aspects of gay life and history, points to ponder as a straight person as well as expressions of hope for the future.

I am so proud of the strides our community has made here at Forrest City – LOW. We are currently researching ideas to form a prisonsponsored Gay/Straight Alliance group to continue this momentum.

To all of you out there who face struggles or enduring hardships, I hope our message gives you hope.

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I hope that together, celebrating who we are and standing together to display our unity only ensures that there is a brighter day ahead.

Be PROUD!! Live Out Loud!!

Love, Family at Forrest City - LOW Kevin (AR) Dear Black + Pink, Hello, my name is Edward. I am a 38 year old gay white male. This is my second time writing. I’ve been receiving Black + Pink for a couple of years. I would like to say that Black + Pink is a great zine that has helped me out a lot. To all my Brothers and Sisters out there: keep fighting, stay strong, and never give up. Don’t let no one get you down or best you. We are better than those who want to keep us down and as long as we fight and stay united no one can beat us.

Now after 17 years of being locked in this place I’m about to get out. I can honestly say I’m scared. I really don’t have anyone out there and no where to go so I have no idea about what it’s going to be like. So yeah I’m nervous and scared to get out.

The world has changed so much since I’ve been out. I don’t know what to expect. So if there’s any advice my L.G.B.T.Q. family can give me I would really appreciate it.

The only real plan I have is to get out, find me a good place to stay, and stay out of this crap hole. The last thing I want is to come back to prison. I am also looking for other gay, bi, or trans people to be around.

Basically people with a similar lifestyle. I’ve changed a lot since I was out there and just want to get

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my life (which I never really had) back.

So if there is anyone out there who is part of our “family” community that can help or give advice in any way I would really appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Edward (NM) I want to give a shout-out to my girl from Miami, FL, “BIG BABY” “M.P.” WHAT’S UP!? And to all transgenders everywhere... Keep your heads held high! Be proud of who and what you are, don’t let anyone put you down. We’re special, girl... Believe that.

With Love,

Melissa (FL) Dear Black and Pink, Hi. It’s your sister Jaina Yukari Sakura here at ___. I am sorry for being out of touch for sooo long; a lot of B.S. has been happening, including me being drugged with K2, etc. and being in and out of the hole where I could not write because they only give that priviledge to their favorite pet rats, etc. Sooo I have been slowly healing over time spiritually, emotionally, mindfully, and [??] 2. I have been also learned that our LGBTQIA family is a very very loving fam. and I have learned that true love (not just romance) but actual true loving someone/ many people who are a part of every Humane Race, Religion, way of life and every country around our world. Is not only beautifal, but it’s pure and perfect as well! And love will always win over Evil or these people who do b ad things to others.

We also need to keep fighting the

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good fight peacefully at all costs.

Using our loving kindness, our caring-ness, and helpfulness. And healing each other. Just saying some thing nice to a person can help that personl Also, I have learned from positive experience that if you use not only a soft voice but also use positive emotions when talking to people it quickly defuses their anger about 95% of the time.

Never give up hope for if we do our oppressers win. Don’t stop helping those around you either or don’t stop loving those around you. If you hurt someone who is close to you, do whatever it takes to hear that person. I have learned that if you don’t do these things, it will almost always cause problems not only for youselves, but those around you as well. And once again, spread your love. For eachother and also spread our love as far and wide as we can.

Because the more we do this, the sooner we do this we will not only hear ourselves, but sprea it to state to state and eventually to every corner of the Earth. This is what we as human beings need to do to heal ourselves and our world. And may our loving, caring, healing fam last for all time!

Love your sister, Jaina Yukari Sakura (PA) P.S. Yukari means princess in Japanese & Sakura means cherry blossom in Japanese. <3 My name is Mona N. I am recently incarcerated in Marlin Texas, I am an ex-pro-boxer. My friend Emma wrote ya’ll on my behalf she’s assisting me in my quest for freedom and justice. Our blog is Grant Justice ‘83. I will be posting well Emma will be posting with my consent my story and my updates. I would love

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for my Black and Pink family to go on this Journey with me. to access the blog -- https:lledlister8.wixsite. com/grantjustice. If there are any questions or anything y’all would like to know, I am here to answer and give account and recent updates on my endeavor. I have written before to Black and Pink and my effort to reach anyone in the past has been complicated. I am poor broke, black and homosexual, yet proud and confident in who and what I am and represent. I’d love to hear from ya’ll. And am VERY excited to share my story with the world.

Solidarity,

Mona (TX) P.S. Black and Pink brought Emma and I together I want all Black and Pink Readers to know that you do not have to hide who you are or what you like; if you are in prison you don’t have to hide it from anyone either because in the end you are the one who has to deal with it everyday not anyone else so remember- fuck what others think, do you regardless if you love a man, be faithful to him or her whichever they are. Don’t be afraid to show the real you. Blessed be, blessed be, blessed be.

With all my love, Jordan (MD) This is a small essay documented to reflect the trials and tribulations of oppression and equal rights.

“Still I Rise” Collectively all of the different classes of people who are victims of oppression have the same goals

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that they are pushing towards. The main goal is equal rights. Threwout history we can see that there’s limitations when it comes to one group of people who’s in agreement to bring another group of people up to the same equal standards. Thus this frame mind brings forth the struggle to want to have equality in its many forms.

As we look into the community (LGBQT community) we will see threw history we remain in constant struggle to gain equality amongst the masses. How many times have the dreams of our young people within the LGBQT community - th desire to be an athlete, a musician, drama, actor, pursue certain careers - been demeaned as foolish romanticism, impractical in a world where one must make a living according to their gender. The system of the so called “norm” reinforces the idea by rewarding those outside of the LGBQT community mostly who spend their lives in the closet or in shame; while making life difficult for those who choose to honestly “be themselves because everyone else is taken”. The system of the norm is called realism and its very seductive because once you have accepted the reasonable notion that yo should base your life or actions on reality, you are too often led to accept without much questioning, someone else’s version of what that reality is. It is a crucial act of independent thinking to be skeptical of someone else’s description of reality.

The United Kingdom School Trade Union Administration (Administrators) are encouraging primary schools to include books about transgender parents and children in their curriculum. All

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according to a memo from the National Association of Head Teachers, dress codes should also be changed to allow students and teachers to dress according to their preferred gender. This is an example of a step towards equality within the community. An example that should be followed by other countrys as acceptance to the fact that transgender children or children with transgender parents should feel included in their learning and teachers should feel positively represented in the lesson content.

Dennis Leaps article “Encouraging Gender Fluidity is Child Abuse” can be seen on (thetrumpet . com/16403). This article goes against the equality that the LGBQT community strives for and it also promotes hate (self hate). Without the freedom of expression what does one have. A child should feel comfortable expressing the gender that they feel comfortable with and not what society assumes to be right.

We need freedom schools where people can go ro learn what is described as being beneficial knowledge.

An environment of equality where one can be themselves and not be discriminated against. The important factor will be learning because this leads to a healthier and progressive future.

Especially for the youth. An environment with low tolerance for violence that practices and promotes unity, love cooperative economics freedom, truth, peace, etc...an environment where the parents won’t really or necessarily have to worry about mass shooting inside the academic environment.

There’s no love in oppression.

How can someone stand in front of the masses and say I’m a loving person but I hold people hostage. I hold people hostage for shoplifting

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because he or she was starving, because he or she was attacked and defended themselves, who where falsely accused. Thn this same individual thinks and states “It’s a job, right?” I’m just doing my job right? There’s no love in oppression and no correction in oppression why would the lion tell the story of the giraffe? This is a African parable.

Who is better informed or equipped to deliver a direct war report than that of the individuals who are themselves being oppressed?

A philosopher name George Orwell once said that those who control the past control the future. And who controls the present controls the past. In other words those who dominate in our society are in the position to write our histories.

And if they can do that then they can dictate our future. To position yourself here in the wilderness of America you must establish yourself as apart of the legacy that’s for a change for “a better tomorrow”, in order to gain control of the truth being manufactured to the public.

How will this take shape? What’s needed? What must be done? threw nonviolent action. This encompasses a great variety of methods, limited only by our imaginations: sit ins, freedom ballots, freedom schools, etc...these and many other techniques have many qualities’ it disturbs the status quo, it intrudes on the complacency of the majority, it expresses the anger and the hurt of the aggrieved, it publicizes an injustice, it demonstrates the inadequacy or whatever reforms have been instituted up to that point, it creates tension and trouble and this forces the holder of power to move faster than they otherwise would have to redress grievances.

There’s a price for freedom. There’s an ultimate sacrifice one must pay

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to receive freedom. These words are proven threw Malcolm X who had to become civil disobedient and he lost his life for this, and the same as Dr. Martin Luther King. Harriet Tubman told the slaves during her many trips threw the Underground Railroad “that you will get freedom or die”/ die or get free There’s a price for freedom.

Frederick Douglass spoke in 1857: Let me give you a word of the philosophy of reform. The whole history the progress of human liberty shows that all concessions yet made to her august claims have been born of struggle if there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet deprecate agitation are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. They want rain without the thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters. The struggle may be a moral one; or it may be a physical one; or it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle. Power concedes nothing without demand. It never did and it never will.

In Solidarity, Hakim T. (VA)

I’m writing to share a little bit of news that I believe will be greatly rejoiced. I wrote a while back regarding the “Civil-Lawsuit” that I was doing (against CDOC). Well, as of June 19th (2018), that lawsuit came to an end. I decided to “settle” (out of court) the lawsuit, even though I very likely would have won (at trial). With the choice to settle this case came a 100% guarantee (from CDOC) to change/amend

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their policies, to accommodate the following “medical care and treatment” for myself (+ fellow CDOC transgendered inmates) - CDOC will create an evaluation/ approval process, for “trans” inmates to access full “genderaffirming” canteen/commissary items (to include eyeshadow, lipstick, nail polish, blush, eyeliner, foundation/cover-up, cremes, mascara, eyebrow pencils, sports bras, female panties, ladys’ electric razor and a lot more)!!!

- CDOC has agreed to increase my “T-blockers”(Aldactone) to a level (400mg/per day) that I’ll effectively be “chemically castrated”!!!

- CDOC will create an evaluation/ approval process, to allow “transwomen” (in “male” facilities) to be transferred (upon approval) to a “WOMENS” facility!!! (note: I’ll be the first person on that list, to be evaluated (and potentially approved) - CDOC will issue (as state/DOCissued) the following clothing to me (and other”t-girls” upon approval: 5 pairs, female underwear/panties, 5 gold-toned undershirts/t-shirts (for the purpose of better covering/ consealing “breasts/nipples”, if the shirt gets wet; as well as to visually identify inmates that’re allowed to purchase/possess/apply female cosmetics!!! I/we will also have the option to purchase an additional 3 sports bras, panties, and gold t-shirts, (at own expense/personal property) - CDOC will now evaluate (+ possible approve) all “CDOC transwomen” for (complete) “sexual/gender-reassignment” surgery!!! (+ subsequent placement into a “female” facility) Note: the lawsuit is filed under Moonshadow V. Raemisch, et al This is a HUGE victory for all

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“transwomen” in CDOC. It also leaves the “door” open, for other “t-girls” (in other states) to be able to file their own lawsuitsIF DOC (in other states) are not treating transgender inmates to the fullest of medical/mental-health capabilities!!! SO - I fully encourage ALL “t-girls” to continue to strive for whatever they need/want..I’m proof that it can be done!!!

All my love,

Jayde M. (CO) Dear Black & White Readers, I write to tell of my horrible experience here in the BOP as a Trans. I’ve been in the awful forbidden system for almost 2 years now, and have about 18 more years to serve if my appeal doesn’t go through. When I came into the system they sent me to two USPs where I knew I wouldn’t make it.

Eventually I was sent to an FCI. Anyhow I was @ the FCI only 3 weeks when I was forced to have oral compulation on an inmate. This had been going on for a few days. I tried to report it to personal but he stated that as long as my life was not in danger that I’d remain housed with the inmate. So what I did was collect his DNA and reported it.

What is so mind bottling is that they didn’t really take it serious.

The inmate was never prosecuted and was sent to another FCI. Later I found out that he told officials that he paid for the oral compulation.

I’ve been forced to be housed with none LGBTQ inmates and have been a victim of physical abuse alot of times + can’t even report it because the officers aren’t trying to hear it.

As of right now I am in transit at the Atlanta USP in the Security Housing

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Unit or (SHU). They’ve been trying to put other inmates in my cell who are not LGBTQ Friendly. In true I’d rather be here because they are trying to send me to another USB known as Hazelton. I’ve been told by many inmates that I will not be able to walk on the compound. So again I will have to face being in the (SHU) where I can again potentially be a victim of sex or physical abuse.

I don’t even know what to do anymore. I really wish I could have the sexual reassignment surgery so I can be transferred to a female prison. Does anyone know how I can go about getting this done?

With much respect, David, preferably known as Moon/ Luna (WV) If You Want To Be You -- Be You! I used to have lots of pride in myself for being the “masculine gay guy.”

I started sprouting a beard at 15 and had a moderate pelt of chest hair poking out of my shirt. I was never masculine in a sporty way and was never into cars or anything like that. I’ve always had a good deal of anxiety, was pretty quiet, and always have been sort of serious and somber. This mixed with my fuzzy appearance came off as a gruff countenance. It didn’t matter how much of a softie I was inside. It didn’t even matter if I wore flower embroidered girl jeans and a cable knit daisy cardigan, people would argue with me that I wasn’t gay when I tried to come out to them.

People were a bit intimidated by my appearance and hesitant around me.

I thought at the time that this was the best way to change people’s minds about homos. I was just a

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pseudo-normal dude who happened to like other dudes. And, with this one-of-the-guys approach, I actually managed to change quite a few minds. We (myself included) are quick to criticize the acceptance by assimilation approach. It has its place. Big social change requires a diversity of tactics on all fronts.

Take the civil rights movement of the 1960’s. It took people of color living “normally” to show they were just like everyone else, it took the Malcolm X and Black Panther approach, and it took Dr. King and his non-violent civil disobedience.

All of it was necessary. One is not more important than the other when we have many types of minds to change.

I didn’t know that I was assimilating at the time, I felt I was just being myself. It was just where I was in my younger days. We change and evolve a lot. Nevertheless, a part of me did loathe being relegated to this masculine role. I had a trans friend I was in awe of, and we had several amazing “challenge the gender binary” posters on the walls of our infoshop I whole-heartedly agreed with. My beliefs and personal feelings had pretty much always been anti-gender roles, but I was playing the card nature and my body dealt me.

I grew tired of this script every time I had this conversation: Hetero Dude: “I like you, you’re not like other gay dudes. I can’t stand the flaming type who walk funny and talk all girly.”

Me (unfortunately silently brooding, not saying it but thinking it loudly, not wanting to shatter this tenuous acceptance): Why do you hate people like that? There is nothing

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wrong with being that way.

I can’t express how much this pained me everytime I heard it. I felt some progress had been made, I hope this was at least the first step to people learnign to be accepting. Yet this conversation also made me feel defeated at the same time.

Ironically, I was somewhat perpetuating my gender role because I was against perpetuating gay stereotypes. I have never hated anybody for being who they are, but I was still unsure and finding myself and never wanted to just slip into these things thoughtlessly.

I didn’t begrudge others for being stereotypical (okay, maybe for being trendy, but not for “gay people” stuff), I just didn’t permit myself to do or like certain things.

For example, I have always loved doing hair and could have been happy perhaps as a hairdresser, but come on! Talk about stereotypes!

I had the same relationship with certain music, dancing, and fashions (though I still reject a lot of those, I love my own “anti-fashion” look). It was of course difficult in my youth (meaning 6-12 years ago, as I’m a whopping 30 years old) to be so high maintenance. When you’re a dirty/street/road kid with dreds and a beard, living in an industrial park or city park and rarely bathing, it is nigh impossible to be the pristine image of a gay guy.

I can’t quite place my finger on what I am these days, but that’s ok.

I’m not exactly Cis. I don’t loathe my male body, and I rather like my boy parts, but I don’t feel male on the inside and feel wronged to have grown up in the cruel world of men.

I feel somewhere between twospirited and gender-nonconforming,

though I don’t care about pronouns being applied to me because I feel a little of both. I’m in a male prison and have a male hair style, but these days I like to remain clean shaven from the ears down. I don’t hate my male body, but I do hate the body hair. I like the femininity that shaving lends me. I am kind of happy to be profiled by my hairless feminine arms :). I have opened myself up to a lot I used to reject. I now give myself free license to be as gay or girly as I want. I disregard stereotypes and their definitions of things and do what makes me happy. You do you girlfriend, and I’ll do me!

“Well if you want to sing out, sing out and if you want to be free, be free ‘Cause there’s a million ways to be You know that there are...

And if you want to be me, be me and if you want to be you, be you ‘Cause there’s a million things to do You know that there are...

You can do what you want the opportunity’s on And if you find a new way You can do it today And you can make it all true And you can make it anew you see...”

- from “If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out” by Cat Stevens

Joshua C. (TX)

Fading in Reverse - The Phoenix I’ve been on such a fucked up ride, being savagely battered by “Murphy’s law” & at war with the NDOC, medical & dental, trying to find my daughter & be in her life (if

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she wants me to be now that she’s old enough to make that choice), trying to make it home to my son & fighting the courts & all the supreme forces of “absolute power” reigning over our population, but recent events have been breaking me, I’ll stand & fight harder only to fall harder with no hands to help me up, yet I rise & rise until... I’m listening to Eminem “Mockingbird” over & over in the deepest of despair & “you’re fading” just crushed my soul, I’ve been tryinig hours now...

This warrior of a man, am I finally utterly broken & defeated?

My BabyGirl in my arms in my memory, fading, the peace & warmth in my heart from the memory of gazing into the face of my Angel, are fading... I love my son & will be an Amazing father to him when I get home, but there’s a void in my soul only my Daughter can fill... As I just lost my only hope to embrace her for another 8-10 years, so fades my light in this darkness... As I just lost the only pics of her & I in existence so fades all solace!

I recently went to an emergency “sick-call” type of thing to try to get I.B.U’s for the pain from a broken impacted wisdom tooth & they refused to treat me (just like with my heart condition & I’ve been filing grievances a year now on it all, to no avail... I had an “attack” on camera in a medical observation room & went ignored after smashing my head on the floor & that was after being hauled off the yard on a stretcher & after begging for a Nurse - & this is on a camera - after a seizure on concrete, I went unnoticed at least 45 minutes minutes before finally being called out to go back to the yard, but they realized something was wrong & I ended up going to the

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hospital, of course this was grieved & claims ready to be filed including all evidence; blood tests grievances kits etc. was put in a box... Weeks go by & I’m ignored & still haven’t seen a doctor or a dentist & in pain I go to medical.) Well at this point I’m done being denied, I demanded: pain relief, pics of mouth, video preservations & all documentations, I demanded additional blood work & E.K.G.s & to be taken care of before I die in prison from such abuse & neglect... Anyways, they tell me I can get a shot in my arm or butt & it’ll take the pain away, I’m like “ah thank God” & get injected in my arm... I wake up a day later in a whole new prison, naked, in pain everywhere, not knowing what happened at all & informed I was on suicide watch (!?) I remained in a “suicide tank” for 5 days, the bright light never shut off, I had to eat with my hands, no toothbrush, no toothpaste, no soap, no clothes, no matt, no blankets or sheets & no I.B.U’s or penicillin! (All on camera those 5 days!) The whole time declaring “I’m not suicidal,” “I’m about to beat my case” & “find my daughter too,” (after 12 years) & I’m actually quite successful in life, despite my current environment with a chance to be a executive manager for 11 venues upon my release... A loving & loyal support network... I never said I was suicidal cause I’m not! I was put in G.P. on a higher custody yard for 6 days & before I was able to come back here, and guess what? my property is GONE! Just gone! Inmates tell me the C/Os threw it on the tiers & in trashes! I have a couple boxes & appliances at property but since I won’t sign as receiving whats missing they won’t give me anything! 12 days no change of clothes, no hygiene, none of my phone #s or addresses, none

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of my legal work for civil, criminal & custody, none of my legal books, pics, letters, bedding, nothing but the bare minimum though I’ve done nothing wrong & I can’t call my lawyer, fight my cases, nothing... but I’m in G.P!? Fuck all that though.

Missing from my property are the only pics of me with my children, me changing my sons diaper... So nude photo’s of an infant lost in prison!? Back in ‘05 my rights to my daughter were forfeited for neglect (against my will). I never signed the papers & tried to fight they say “neglect” was “losing interest” & never trying to contact her. But the truth is I’ve never stopped trying & the only proof is in that missing box! I’ve written journal entry type things to her for 12 years like “don’t worry Baby Girl, Daddy loves you,” “they won’t tell me where you are my love, but I’ll never give up,” etc. & pics of me over the years for her etc. I just recovered most of this & was ready to present my case & POOF now I lost her & all hope fades! Also, all my son’s info, letters to him, pictures of us, conveniently gone are my kits and grievances.

My action at years off my sentence I paid and attorney $25,000, I hope I can somehow recover... credit card statements & checks prove financial losses but who cares about money if you can’t have your children in your life or be in theirs? And who cares about going home in a few years anyways if there is No Home! I’m in an empty cell. Boots strapped up... A Phoenix is Rising.

plate to digest. Let me tell you a littel about me before I get to my reasons fro writing the fam. My name is Anthony McGranor. But my inner circle know me as Tony. I’m going to be 34 years young on June 30th.

I’m a white male, Im 5’9” 200 lbs of kinda tall dark & handsome. I’m covered in ink tattoos. I’m attracte to both sexes male and females and especially transwomen. Bu I don’t label myself. Because the government does enough of that for us. I’m a human just like every other person in this world! I’ve been incarcerated for 17 years flat come this october!. I come up for my first parole in January 2019. I’m single by choice right now!

Now that you know a little about me let me just say I got love for all my LGBTQ family. By y’all queens need to stop the bullshit fighting and hater shit. Grow up and be the women you say you are! Respect each other as well as each other’s relationships.

Nathaniel W. (NV)

WHAT’S really Good, Black & Pink Family? This is my first time writing, not because I didn’t want to but because I’ve had a lot on my

I ‘m still looking for the right person who will be my soulmates. I’m on my way back to the bricks! But as a mature man not the 17 year old kid I was!

I’ve got plans to own my own business and most definitely hook up with Dominiques about getting a Black and Pink chapter in Houston!

I most definitely want to meet both Ms CeCe and C. Manning. who are 2 of the strongest women I’ve gotten to know by reading their stories.

THeir voices carry weight and power!

Oh by the way If you are thinking I sound Black its only because I got a whole lot of soul plus I was raised by a black women. That’s my Mama Rose. RIP. I love ya

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Now why is it we place a label on us? It creates separatism. So we put distance between each other.

So we’ll hate each other. People there is only one race and that’s the Human Race. There’s different cultures, nationalities and yes skin pigments but we all bleed red! All of us matter even prisoners, sex offenders, murderers, robbers! Even child molesters matter. Stop hating and start locing. Stop judging and start listening. Stop falling into the trap tha tthe oppressors have laid for you! They don’t have to change it because its still working because we are still blinded by what they taught us to hate that other group. Because they are not like us! But that makes us just as bad as them.

Don’t y’all see it for what it is? It’s all a part of their planning and its worked. Because we buy into their system and propaganda!

Dr. Martin Luther king Jr Saw it for waht it was and in fact if you read his speeches you’ll see that as soon as he spoke about it he was killed.

Because think about who’s in power. The rich 1% not the common poor folk. Why is that? Because we are taught to believe that they are better than us. But they are not.

They want us divided because they know if we ever truly unite and come together for a cause and use our constitutional rights, our voices, they will be OUT of there and will nolonger be in control.

One thing I’ve learned in these past 17 years I’ve been away from my family and loved ones is that in life you can either stand for something or stand for nothing. The choice is yours! I will you my voice. I will use it to unite Blacks,Browns, wWhites, LGBTQ’s Straights and those who

don’t label themselves as such as I. Am I str8. Nope. Am I homosexual.

By definition of a man made word yes. I am biseuxal. By definition yes. But truthfully, I am a Human.

Nothing more nothing less!

Now family I will conclude this by saying Stand Tall, Chin Up and Walk Proud. Put a smile on your face. Don’t let the oppressors see you stress or sweat. That’s what they love.

Yes we face hard times and struggles. But we can overcome all of this if we just unite and come together with love.

In closing. Shout out to the family brothers and sisters in TDCJ. I know we be going through it with these homophobic people in this system going crazy. But the newspaper and thoughts of y’all that have it worse than me here in Texas and we got it ruff. We are told not to tell anyone our sexuality as soon as we get here! We are treated likelepers and subjected to harrasment, bullying, violence. Unless you stomp down stand up and got something from the shoulders or you play for keeps.

Then they leave you alone! Until they come at you in gangs or just 2 deep for you to fight. While I did what I had to and now I’m painted as a catch out. Sorry. Rat. But none of that fazes me because I have a chance to come home after 17 years of this prison life. I’m so ready for a fresh start and to get out and use my voice and help the family. To meet that special someone and fall in love. So family come together and love one another. Be safe, take care.

Love always your brother,

Tony (TX)

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Dear Black and Pink Family, I would like to bring a ray of hope to those struggling. I have now been incarcerated for 10 years and have been fighting hard on trans issues, women’s rights and women equality for seven years.

I have and will continue to go to battle with the prisons. My name is Daisy Meadows and I am currently incarcerated in Idaho, however I am a Nevada inmate. I have lawsuits regarding trans issues against both Nevada and Idaho, and will do so in any other state that I am sent to.

Despite the fact that the lawsuits I file in states that I am transferred out of will not help me directly, I will continue to fight those cases and for the other much deserving women in those states right now. I will always stand up for my sisters.

Girls stay strong! Stick together and be yourself.

My case is going to be over soon since I was able to obtain private attorneys with experience on Trans issues. I also had an expert witnesser hired. I am very hopeful that I will be able to push for progress and the Right to Freedom of trans women in Nevada. As with Lady Deirdre (NV) who I had the honor of knowing, their “Blanket Policy” MDR21 is something that I am very proud of.

Even though I know that they have hormones treatment now and other things as well, there is still a lot of progress that needs to be made. I too am fighting for 6R5, and Deirdre, I loved your piece. Thank you so much for sharing it and continuing to fight. I will do what I can and I hope I can help. I won’t forget or give up on any one of you.

I am also helping other trans women fight and file lawsuits in other states

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More Letters from Our B&P Family too like, J Mendozo’s “Amber’ in Nevada who is a very dear friend/ lover of mine and another girl in Massachusetts. But I am willing to help anyone who is willing to fight and just doesn’t know how to. All I want in return is your happiness and justice because we deserve it girls!

I love you all so much. You are not alone, and you’re all loved and cared about.

Love,

Daisy M. (ID)

I want to commend our strength as a unit, and discourage our weakness as divided. To those who know me, it’s something about Neko which get the people going. We family, regardless if you fly Yung Red, or Amia Scott. Time we stop call ourselves a group? A clique? A bunch of gays. Truth be told over 30% of the population is gay. That’s just the ones who out. Plus I see the struggle in my people, the letters I read talk about the struggles, the letters I write talk about success.

The success that you can be whoever, and be you. The success to removing stereotypes, you don’t have to be masculine or fem, if you tranny, you fish enough, you don’t have to add more, you trade, you can relax bruh, it won’t kill you to verse.

Lol. When did bein gay have so many rules?

I remember my ex told me you can’t be bi, once you’re gay you’re gay.

So i guess once you’re straight, you’re straight? See I write about hope. About the people who made it.

I write for that little gay boy, who’s alone at night, used during the day. I write for those who never talk about it. What it is to be gay? I write to tell, the tops, bottoms, & verses.

Butches, trans & c**ts. To the drags, the dolls, the trade I write for us. Us is a nation. A nation where you can be you.I challenge us all if you got a story tell it! Tell us how you made it. Tell us about hope. Who’s going to give the nation a voice? #LGBTNATION IG@PRIDEMADEUS -Greatne$$ (GA)

artwork courtesy of Josh MacPhee via justseeds.org

I have been able to come a long way in seven years (I also recently got my name changed). Despite being incarcerated in a male prison, I have been allowed underwears and the staff here are not allowed to address me with male pronouns.

It’s a process girls, unfortunately a long one and we have to fight hard for everything. We can all continue to make a difference, we can all encourage one another, stand up for one another, fight for who you are, who we are as a whole. We need to unite. Be there for your sisters and help them provide that comfort and support that we need to give each other. We have enough people that are against us. The last thing we need is for us to be at odds against one another. There is so much beauty in strength, power and unity. We all fight together and don’t be afraid to lend a helping hand. We are all struggling and we are all hurting so let’s try to be more understanding and compassionate towards one another.

Dear LGBT Nation,

Volume 9, Issue 7

Dear Black and Pink family -- hey y’all!

First off this is my first letter to the Black and Pink family, so thanks for allowing me this chance to speak and say what’s on my mind. So my name is Tiffany Tia P., soon to be Tiffany Tia Peace with some luck.

My government name is Robby Lee P. but it’s not the name that I like to be called. I’m currently locked up in OH at what is supposed to be the most transgender, gay, queer, etc friendly prison in the state of OH, yeah right! It is a PREA run prison but not at all friendly to our kind.

I’m 44 years of age, 45 on October 12th of this year and I’m an intersex transgender, the only one of my kind in this prison. I was born both male and female in case there’s a few of y’all who are unfamiliar with the term intersex. at birth I underwent a surgery due to the fact that I had a major infection and was made a boy only, but it’s not taken away who I really am as a person. I’m a girl through and through and it’s how I carry myself today. I was born in Wiesbon Germany on base I’m an army brat of course. My mom and adopted father were in the Army and I’ve got two younger sisters which in whom I love with all of my heart, I myself have been married 5 times to women and I’ve got 5 boys 4 girls and 7 grandchildren.

All of my marriages have failed but one due to the fact that I’m not at all comfortable being with women.

I’m currently married to a 60 year old woman with whom I’ve got two beautiful 18 year old twin daughters with. They graduate this year and go to college, so proud. My wife knows and accepts the fact that I’m transgender but it’s not something

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that we discuss. We’ve been back together since 2009 after divorcing my previous wife and we got back together basically so that I could be a part of my daughters lives.

My daughters are what’s important and my wife and I are together for emotional support, she lives her life in the free world and does her thing and my life’s separate from hers.

I’m currently in a relationship with another transgender by the name of Tara Peace thanks to Black and Pink.

What a beautiful thing and she’s in Lancaster Correctional at this time.

I’m working towards transferring so that we can be together and hopefully in time to come I’ll be able to get a divorce from my wife and marry the girl whom I’m truly in love with. I’ve only been in one other transgender relationship besides Tara and her name was Raven who resides in North Central which is the prison across the street from where I’m currently at. She was my first transgender love who smashed my heart to pieces and when I thought that lie was basically over for me Tara came like an angel fallen straight out of heaven and saved my life, I’ve always pretty much lived my life like a girl. I wore make up, was a crossdresser and was always proud to be a woman but due to the fact that my sisters father, his nephew and his niece had horribly raped, beat, and severely physically mentally emotionally verbally and spiritually abused me I didn’t wan’t want to be in a relationship with a man. Being raped, beaten and abused as a child was a very tragic thing for me and I never healed from that abuse. It’s a scar that I’ve worn all of my life, then when I came to prison in 2003 I went to Lebanon Correctional and was raped by 3 brothers and when I attempted to report it prison officials warned me

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that by making such a report that my life could be at stake and that it was better to chalk it up as a bad experience and needless to say it had got out that I came forth and my life as well as was my families life threatened so I never pursued it. I’m doing 23 years for a crime I didn’t commit but there’s not use talking about it because with my crime to most if you’re locked up you must be guilty, even if there’s absolutely no proof, no DNA and no doctors reports. Word of mouth convicted me and that’s it. so that’s two marks against me. I’m transgender and my crime is the worst of the worst.

I do have a shower accommodation but I don’t know why when the C/Os, the administration and the PREA coordinator herself does nothing to keep the inmates out of the shower area. Everyone wants to watch me shower and to throw out sexual comments. I’m a sex object but yet I’m the only one in my block who gets called a fag and other gay names because I refuse to have any kind of sexual relations with them.

Recently I had to put a PREA on a guy because he threatened my life because I refused to be with him and now he’s in the hole and my name is mud because I locked up everyone’s homeboy. I guess that it’s acceptable in the joint to be raped and very hard to prove when you’re a transgender.

I’m not sexually active at all. I’m in a dorm setting with 100 guys and I’m under a camera that watches me around the clock. I’m not into sex like that, never have been. I respect myself more than that, I don;t want to be sick.

I stay to myself and socialize with almost no one. The so called transgenders here are all sexually

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active and if you’re not down you’re not accepted into the group so I’m out. I roll alone and do my thing.

I’m faithful, honest, and loyal to Tara. I belong to Tara and to Tara alone. The staff here does not like m because I write them up when they come out their mouth wrong at me and disrespect me. I don;t have any tickets. RIB infractions or anything against me for that matter but yet I get harrassed because of who I am and what I stand for. It’s not at all easy being transgender.

The constant names, threats, being a target of the C/Os, staff and the admin. and so much more are very degrading, heartbreaking and a constant reminder of my past abuse and of how coldhearted and cruel humans can be. I’m a survivor of the horrible abuse that continues to haunt me still till this very day as well as am I a survivor of this life in hell that I must struggle, stress and live through every day.

I’m proud to be who I am as so should everyone of you who are stressing and struggling to get through your daily lives just the same as I am.

Don’t ever give up and never accept the abuse no matter what kind of abuse it way be. stand up and fight back and don’t be afraid to use PREA if necessary. That’s what it is there for. Together we stand united. If you’re having problems with other inmates or event the C/ Os, staff or administration, please feel free to call upon me. I’ll help you and guide you. Be safe LGBTQ family and remember I love all of you. thanks so much for listening !

Peace to everyone!

Love always, your sister,

Tiffany Tia (OH)

Now #violence# is the number caused people in prison to #committed-suicide# how they are treated by staff/an other inmates because they choose to be who they are, it’s always dislike people in the world against (gay) people, to where it’s some people don’t even like there self’s.

My whole life (I) craved to be a member of a different family since i been in prison that’s why when i saw this open family to where i can speak open-freely about my life i didn’t think anymore about it, which i #shared# part of my life with you all.

Now these days i spend wondering what i missed with my family each day, because i explain to them what my hole life was about they never turned away from visiting me on the weekends they where the happy days now all that is gone they’ve pasted to be with (God), those days i can’t stop thinking about it was so wonderfully going - now it’s all sad days just a lot of #member#days#.

Now while i been in prison i had a younger brother Eddie that #committed-suicide# by hanging himself which was only (19 yrs old) which i was there in his younger age but when i came to prison it was hard on him/and my parents because i was a supported for them helping taken care of things, which when i was locked up my parents are brother was dealing with hard things daily because the other family wouldn’t come around, but when they did it was always for something with there hands out, but when they couldn’t get nothing they leave, family love was all apart, which they never came to visit as other sisters, because they were seeing i was the caused of everything that taken the family apart, will they where not there when i was out there, because

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they had a family of there on to take care of, i had added (Jobs) to help my parents which my father was (disability) which he couldn’t work cause of a injury. It could be rain or snow outside i was working some where money was the main thing we all need to live on without that we couldn’t eat, or stay warm, now its some people doesn’t have a roof over there head most are living in cars, trains, box’s, where every they can stay, which they had Jobs an family now they don’t have anybody wondering around looking in cans for food.

Now my days are wondering what life be like in the free world once i am release from prison #what# would i do where i live at what (Jobs) i’ll be able to get, since some Job areas won’t hire you because you been in prison they be thinking why i should hire this person that came from prison is it safe to hire this person, without a (Job) were we all be at.

(The end of my chapter) Now we all need a (second chances) on the outside these prison walls.

Now i understand there’s a lot of young people come to prison, while you have to look where they grown up around, some be abuse by there family to were they turn to the streets, which they might think it’s a good life doing drugs, selling drugs, but they always turn up in prison for killing, which some of them turn up die there selfs.

Now they speak on (non-violent) that they ain’t getting (second chances) that’s wrong, its they ones that has (violent offenses) that don’t get (second chances) of the free world, its . people older than i am

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Volume 9, Issue 7

that haven’t seen the outside of the walls in years, I say after (32 yrs.) of incarceration ain’t enough for the (Virginia system) laws in this state don’t chance (none), they’ve taken parole away, which that is your only hope to freedom, which i can’t discharge from prison with a date 12-27-9999, how can anybody have hope on that there’s not any at all.

Now some of us doesn’t have a life, you’ll think about it, but we all learn from those mistakes, where still (human) not (animals), but we are treated different ways (that).

Now prisons are (overcrowded) each day, but what is the (Governor) is doing about it (nothing), they want to keep (building) them up, since my incarceration they only closed one (down) which it was (500 people) losted (Jobs) some are still working there in the upper knew part of it, which house (knew intake) inmates, now inmates used to work on the farm there, which now are run by other people.

Now i am afraid, to send any papers to the (Governor of VA) or to the (White House) because the facility might stop those letters.

Now it’s many areas in the state of Virginia don’t want prison in there area.

Now this prison is in (poor) (condition) having (water-line) breaks or the (showers) don’t work, where they (fix-timers) on the (showers) which you can’t control them your self to water water is being (used).

I see that the (local economy) ain’t (lossing) money at all, there’s (pocketing) most of the money there

not (honested) to were its going.

Now i hope you can correspondence to this letter. I am wanting to stay part of this family because i don’t have any support from the outside, but the family of Black/Pink.

Now i am a indigent-inmate, without income which i have to live off a indigent-bay that has hygiene items for (30 days) a month, now maybe a friend would look out with a few (soups) or (chips) to make a (meal) with at night. I am not able to get those items because i am in (shu), because my sleeping area which i have been fighting that case for (3 months) now. Now how it began that i filed a stander complaint form against those officers for being (Races) against (white) inmates when they apply for (Jobs) in the (units) its over 100% more (Blacks) than (white) inmates which they are all (Blood-gangs) which i had (runends) with the (Bloodgangs) which i am (white).

Charles (VA)

My gender destiny or is it a gender at all. So many intricacies woven into invisible threads. SO many people screaming for labels just so they can satisfy their heads.

I say *uck labels and old constants!

Why remain relative when we can choose to be SUPERCONSCIOUS? Which is of course UNLIMITED! So why restrict gender or sexuality?

When truly nothing about our humanity impinges upon being caged in. Our essence is naturally FREE so therefore our complex weave of fibers reach to the NO LIMIT of space.

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So to my gender intellects and sexualologists! What do you call that? What identity reaches All the way in every way to the no limit of space? If you can theorize, that I’ll copyright patent and spread my new SUPERSEXUAL identity to the four corners of the earth and beyond.

Lebels had me thinking I was GAY, other stories I heard had me thinking I’m Straight. This article in “Time” opened me up to expand my conscious. From this moment forward I am supersexual because regardless of any label, my core, my heart, my FIRE burns for everyone, everything and in all ways, ALWAYS. So my Bi, Transgender, Lesbian, Gay, QUeer, QUestioning, Asexual, Gender-Nonconforming, Two-Spirit, Nonbinary, Genderfluid and all identities out there.

Scream your choice to the heavens and fluctuate your U of who you are in the beginning of fluctuation itself.

And to all you HOT identities in existence like MARIE MCGWUIER and TYLER FORD I am here and I’ve been hot since coming from my mama’s belly, and I haven’t cooled off yet!.

Jason (NY)

Dear Friends, I read your call for prison recipe submissions in the September 2017 Black and Pink News. Enclosed, please find my recipes for Buffalo Chicken Dip and Peanut Butter Buckeyes.

It may interest you and readers Black and Pink that I have authored a cookbook, The Cellblock Gourmet,

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all while incarcerated.

Thank you for allowing me to share my recipes.

Yours In Solidarity and PRIDE! Gary (NC) PEANUT BUTTER BUCKEYES 1 1/2 cups creamy peanut butter 6 cups powder sugar (not available in prison commissaries, but everyone has a Friend working in The Chow Hall!!)

1cup margarine 6 whole graham crackers, finely crushed 4cups chopped plain Hershey bars In a large bowl, mix the peanut butter, sugar, butter, and grahams.

Mixture will be dry.

Form dough into 1-inch ball by hand. Allow to stiffen in a cool, dry place.

Melt chocolate in microwave in small batches to avoid scorching.

Using coffee straw as a handle, dip each ball into melted chocolate, leaving a small circle at the top uncovered. Place candy unto a clean plate and allow to harden in a cool, dry place.

BUFFALO CHICKEN DIP 8 to 10 oz cream cheese (about 1012 squeeze cream cheese packets) 1/4 cup ranch dressing 4(5oz each) fully cooked “Buffalo Chicken”, undrained. (I use Back County Canteens) 1/3 cup mozzarella cheese, shredded sliced pimento-stiffed olives Put cream cheese in a deep microwave safe bowl. Mix in ranch dressing and the shredded cheese.

Black & Pink News

Microwave on high for 2 to 4 minutes or until dip is completely heated. Top with sliced olives.

Stir and serve with chips and/or crackers.

Hello to my Brothers and Sisters at B&P. It’s me Geoff David “Colorado Kid” H. checking in with you all.

First a helpful shout out to “CA” Rachel- Rahcel honey be proud of you are it’s your choice do not let others put you down. Be strong & let Jesus in your heart keep cool, 2nd shout out to Mickey B. “GA”, Mickey B. stay strong & be yourself don’t let people hurt you.

3rd Ms. Jazzy I “CA” I am very of girl! for tell Mckayla THE WAY IT IS. Oh! I’m Geoff David “Colorado Kid” Heltzel I’ve been around transgenders since 1979 up to 2018 I stall counting & to be honest I love transgenders and Yes! Stop suicide and love one another RIGHT NOW! SIncerley, Geoff David “COlorado Kid” H. (IL) Dear Black and Pink Fam, Recently I have come to a crisis.

I’ve always consider me a bi male.

Well one day some one asked why I was in Pig tails . I told them it was to keep my long hair out of my face.

But it got me wondering why I like pigtails in my hair. When I really look at it, it came to me that pigtails make me feel better. Then I looked into my memory on other times I felt better about myself. There were only 3 times I felt like I do with pig tails. One was when I tried on my sister’s bra, panties, & dress, the

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2nd time was when I put on a one piece swimsuit, the 3rd time was the Halloween the year before I got locked up, when I convinced a lot of people I was a woman. That stuff got me wondering why I like dressing up as a woman. I like being a male, but I also like to dress as a woman. I know I’m not transgender since I like being male. Does this mean I’m a transsexual? I’ve been hearing about a two spirit, what is that? Please help me out.

Thanks,

Nate (WI) Happy Easter Hello, my name is Robert, I am a 30 year old bisexual man and have been struggling with my sexuality for majority of my whole life!

And have recently come out to the whole world, as a bisexual man, I have been locked up for 16 years and have had a hard time in IDOC and IDHS. I have been forced off of units because of my sexuality! I was raised in a family that I could never let my sexuality be known or I would be abused. I want to be excepted or the man I am today I have read newspapers from Black and Pink and a lot of stories really has inspired me to reach out to the family and hope that I could get some penpals from the family, so I could correspond with people of the LGBTQ family rather they are locked up or livin in the free world!

Hopefully, the family could help me with that! For many years I had to hide my sexuality, in fear of getting hurt, or killed in DOC! I really had to pretend to be somebody that I wasn’t and it hurt me to do that but that was the only way to survive in prison! I have witness so much

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abuse in IDOC and the place I am in now IDHS! By residents here and staff! Thank you for your time, much love and respect.

Robert (IL)

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you to know that I do honestly love and cherish everything about you. I know I can’t make you into something you’re not but I know that you’re still just as special as I want you to be.

Resspetfully submitted,

“Borders” Solitarily confined to your touch you keep me locked away being the tallest walls of your heart forever holding me strong. You’re my king trapped in the castle of love and loyalty. I know I say things that make you question my morality but baby boy understand that even though we are from two different worlds we share the same goal and that’s to forever be in complete unity. From the moment I laid eyes on you I knew you had a heavenly touch that would open my eyes and give life to my soul. The most amazing feeling that has given comfort is knowing that your love for me will never change and that you will never leave my side. The most precious thing I have ever known in life is the love of a man. It’s what you don’t see and what I don’t show you that matters the most. the smallest symbol of appreciation can come by a single “Hello”, those words that slip from my lips to yours could mean the greatest things. Even though we are a world away that doesn’t stop me from feeling the pound on my chest as my heart beats from the thought of you crossing my mind. From my lips to yours I give you this kiss in hopes that you remember me for being the realest person you have ever known. From your lips to mine I will always remember that you are the greatest man God has allowed me to love. Although the clock on the wall ticks away the time we should be sharing. I want

Paradise (TX) Victory in PA DOC Hey Family, First I would like to say if you’re fighting for something do n’t give up. Even though people say you can’t do it by yourself, you won’t believe what happen to me.

First the Grievance Coordinator sent my grievance to the Deputy Superintendent who sent it to the CHCA Mr. Hyde, who was named in my grievance for playing with my hormones. Well, on Appeal it was remanded and upheld which got me getting my hormones which my process was started at SCI Smithfield and SCI Somerset wanted to play games. And I won my appeal that the CHCA uheld in part and denied in part trying to play with my grievance. And I got the last laugh, ha ha!

Love, Juicy Queen Bee (PA) PA Corrupted Department of Corrections I’m about to expose PA Corrupted Department of Corrections for what it really is. They only care about covering their asses and stealing money and falsifying charges or misconducts and street charges thinking it’s going to break someone.

They allow inmates to do their job

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while they sit back and collect their paycheck. Their mission statement is false. They don’t protect and fix people convicts and so-called inmates to be citizens, they make us turn against each other and become better criminals and go out crazy not to come back to jail. They talk to you any kind of way - discriminate against whoever ain’t like them corrupted. They protect each other and you got that falsify PREA policy it protects them but harm us. Giving the inmate permission to lie on other inmates then in certain organizations they pocket some of the money for themselves. They overcharge us on commissary so they’ll make some extra money. They claim they done nothing wrong they take things little at a time they protect rats and rapists.

This ain’t no lie it’s the whole truth.

Then the medical and mental health department got so called doctors and nurses and social workers who know nothing and they got hearing examiners who violate policy and go overboard and allow staff to get away with murder even when they’re lying. They’re biased and even if you’re not guilty you’re guilty in their eyes. They go overboard then call themselves taking Timberlands cause a correction officer die when a C/O got beat with state boots. Just keeping it real staff can get stamp out with sneaks anything. They violate people like it’s ok forgetting some ain’t never going home and got nothing to loose.

You Think You Know Me to Judge Me You think you know me and judge me like you are high and mighty and can’t be touched. You say I’m a fool, you even call me a whore a slut and crazy. You say I’m HIV cause a poem I wrote dedicated

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to those living with it cause I lost friends who caught it through blood transfusion, drugs and people who just want to hurt others cause they were hurt. Im somebody and I don’t have HIV or any other disease. I owe nobody anything but the one who gave me life and the one who carry me 9 months and took care of me. I’m talking about God and my mother and father last my family is the one I owe cause even when people I hang with so called friends partners and LGBQT family that are fake only looking out for them turn their back on me only God and my family will be there for me. So those other individuals who live by putting others down the only thing I owe them is not to be like them as long as I live. Also people want to think all LGBQT people were raped or confused and live in a broken home like they’re perfect.

I would disagree cause nobody is perfect and I can show you my mother raised me by herself most of my life cause my Dad was in jail cause a white woman scream rape accusing my father before DNA exist. Which he got off. This was the 80s when women could lie and get away with it cause they would let others testify that wasn’t there so I understand what it feels like to not be around both parents. I was born this way. Yes I was sexually abused as a child but it didn’t change who I am, it made me strong. I didn’t tell cause I would of lost my mom and she would’ve been sent to jail or I could’ve lost my life cause I lie in fear. Never in my life did I rat. Yes my mother did everything to keep a roof over our head, working two jobs taking care of us before her, even when she was sick, against doctor’s orders she worked. I know what it feels like to be homeless, lose everything and get it back,

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can’t get assistance cause you make too much money only medicaid while others get it and sell it. We lost our house to a fire cause of my Aunt doing drugs but my mom took care of us and help my aunt with her children.

So you can’t judge me cause of my mistakes or what I do. I was taught do what you got to in order to survive, even if you struggle don’t give up and help others without looking for anything in return. So if you think you’re hurting me I been through worse. Even when going to school having to fight cause others thought I was sweet because of my lifestyle. Do I look for drama? no.

But if it comes I will do what I have to and I won’t bite my tongue or bow down cause I must be strong to survive win or lose if you come for me you better come correct or don’t come at all. Cause a bitch I’m not.

I had to fight to get where I’m at today and still fighting today cause people are plain old crazy thinking they’re better and can say anything and threaten me thinking I’m going to be afraid. Only way I’m taking PC if they make me and that don’t stop nothing cause snitching isn’t in my blood cause someone done something to me. Just keeping it real - Juicy Queen Bee (PA) The Host Many people in this world along with a community is lost or confused because we allow ourself to be. Growing up I was taught that what comes around will go around and I also was taught what you do to others will be done to you.

Furthermore I was taught never to let people stop you from being who you are. In life we all go through trials and tribulations that we must

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believe trust and have faith in order to survive and get through. For troubles don’t last always and joy comes in the morning. Many are so lost that the stop believing and want to kill themself to get rid of the pain and allow others to get in their head saying they’re nobody and they ain’t going to make it in life.

Yet true believers will know that’s a lie so I’m about to speak some truth in this article. First in the midst of your trials, battles, you must believe in God or whatever religion you are even though it’s different names, it’s still God. Also know in the midst of your storms, if you have Faith and believe in yourself you will get through. Now second, what goes around will come let some choose to forget this some even choose to ignore the fool they are and gain the whole world they also lose their soul to greed, envy, hate, sorrow and men or women which could hurt them and kill them without forgiving themself and others in order to be sovereign by the Father. In these last days we’re living someplace they’re in Hell cuz on this earth they wanted to live their life bitter and cold. The one we needed the most we thought we couldn’t find. But believing in the Father he will show us the true meaning of love, foriveness and how to live. We ill have trials but we will survive if we stand on faith. So in closing, it’s time to fix your lost soul. Love you always and forever is what he says to us and this is the truth.

From Juicy Queen Bee (PA) To: Black & Pink hello my name is ms. Mya i am a Black sexy transgender I am single now and this is my first time writing

Volume 9, Issue 7

Black & Pink And I have been on my own in prison just like the sexy guy name heart Beat from Baltimore City I want to Really say hello to you Because I like what ya said And out of everything you Really touch me the most in a lot of ways to Bad i can’t get to no ya I am from Fort Lauderdle Beach But i am Doing 15 years at Florida State Prison I took time for someone who told me they loved me. Now I was just with my ex lover for a year and 7 months we was having problems. I trusted him with things that happen to me when I was raped by my Brother and my Mother Boyfriend my Mom hold me Down while her Lover Raped me at Age 3 till I was 7 years old i been on my own in the streets since then I came out As a Queen when I was 12 I Been Dressing up All my life Anyways I just started my Pills. thank god for that At the Age of a New born my mother put me in a trash at 2 months old I was raped by my mother boyfriend at age 3 while my Mother let him she looked me in my eyes while he was Doing it I don’t have any family but Black and Pink I love you all Your new sister.

Ms. Mya (FL) Hello my black and Pink Family I wanna say happy holidays. I feel the need to share. I need some encouragement and understanding.

I always been told “I’m wet behind the ears” I am living with mental illness and it’s killing me slowly.

I would like to reach out to lady Maleana from WA on Oct/Nov Black and Pink newsletter. I wish I can talk to you in person I related a lot to your storie and still struggling.

I noticed I’m real co-dependent I

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can’t live alone. I need someone to love me, I’m always getting hurt I just went through a emotional break up wiht my girl/F I still love and care about her. its sad to say we only lastest 2 weeks together I need someones help Selena (TX) P.S. My favriote song is I got Fake Nxxxs showing Fake Love to me Shout to my Native LGBT family in Indianapolis, Indiana. :) US Hoosiers are a unique bunch. Love y’all. We the Best! I’m still reppin’ and standin’ tall Now, much love to my LGBT family her in Pennsylvania that I’ve had the good fortune to meet during these last 8 years. Specifically all y’all at Coal Township. Too many to name but love the same. Even those I didn’t see eye to eye with.

Update, after my emergency transfer 9-26-17 I sat in the hole for 10 months. Now last week on 7-1618, I was randomly transfer from Frackville to Smithfield. Shout out to LGBT at Frackville and here Smimthfield.

I’ve been approved for long-term isolation. RRL. I’m trying to fight that. Along with my criminal case and lawsuit.

I think that’s why I was transferred, again. Anyway. Love y’all. Fight the Good fight.

Gay Pride and I’ll never think twice...LGBTQ 4-Life.

-Indy, Pennsylvania-

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Dear Black & Pink, I have never identified as part of the LGBTQ community until now. To stand in solidarity and full support of my wife who identifies herself as a transgender woman named Jennifer, and also to stand for my life’s choice and our love and future. I am choosing to share this with the world, wishing to bring home to those that have lost it, to those that have stopped dreaming to dream once again and to not be afraid. To inspire and uplift those that feel down and rejected, and to those that believe as I once did, that love was just something too beautiful for someone like us. That the beautiful and wonderful saying “soul-mate”, which allows us to love someone and be loved did not pertain to us. Let this true story of love, broken and scarred body and heart, tears, happiness, healing, and marriage inspire some of you to keep on dreaming, searching for your soul-mate, your love, and your happiness. I found mine here in one of the darkest places and most unlikely to find love, prison, where I came in at the age of 17 years old, and now I am 20 years later at the age of 37.

Love had vanished from my heart and soul 15 years ago, and hopes of having my own family went from a dream to a vanishing thought, where joy, happiness, companionship, was but a distant memory and hope was gone. Until a simple yet complex and smart person who was scared yet brave, petite yet a giant, unloved yet full of it, a person who did not know her own value and how special she truly is, who did not care about herself and had given up, was so full of life, a person crying and yelling for a chance to love and be

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loved and to live, showed my what love really is. I hope that one day some of you may also write about the most important person in your life. To me, Jennifer, my wife, gave my life meaning and purpose. The person who showed me that even in a place of darkness, loneliness, and hopelessness, you can find light, companionship, union, hope a future, a reason to live and not just exist. Allow me to just try and share with you, although I will not be able to fully describe and give justice to just how beautiful and special my wife truly is.

Black & Pink News

I will begin by sharing how my life has been made so much better, how while still in prison, I feel free. How even though my soul, heart, love, and all my being is truly unworthy of such a beautiful love, soul, heart, and mind. My dear Jennifer humbles herself and allows my heart, soul, and love to join with hers as easily and perfectly as our fingers interlock when I hold and kiss her hand. She made my heart beat with life, hope, love, and happiness once again and showed me just how wonderful life is when two parts of one soul come together and unite as one soul again.

Penitentiary. In one hand I have the white clothing a dear brother of mine sewed to wear as my wedding clothes, in the other hand a box with my feathers that I will traditionally wear in my hair (eagle feathers), as soon as we are inside the cell, where, in secret, we shall have our wedding ceremony done by my brother in a traditional manner.

None of this is allowed in prison but we are not allowing prison or anyone else, my dad included, stop us from getting married and from getting in-between our love. Across from me is my little brother and best man also waiting, and because of his encouraging words I was able to make the choice to get married with Jennifer and chose our life together over my dad. I keep thinking as I wait for the cells to open (they are already late) just how lucky I am, how I can’t believe this is happening and even more, happening to me.

How at any moment I will see my wife Jennifer in a beautiful wedding dress that she and my brother sewed and made out of white state sheets, how it took them many days and late nights to finish. I can’t stop thinking and smiling at the thought that I will never be alone again and will always know that I am loved.

It is August 1st of 2017 around 6:45 pm. Hours earlier I had just finished getting off the phone with my father who has been in my life and supporting me through everything all this time and truly is a great dad.

I just wished him a happy birthday.

Days earlier I told him about my love for Jennifer for the first time. Now as I wished him a happy birthday he gives me a choice, basically him or Jennifer. I tell him I’ll call later. Now hours later I am pacing anxiously and nervously on the tier in the unit. I am held at Nevada State

I cannot look at anything else, my eyes are locked and my soul and heart can’t contain themselves.

I feel my love pour out of my whole body as I am staring at how gorgeous she looks in her beautiful wedding dress, her big smile that lights up your soul, and her eyes so wide and big, full of life, joy, and so much love. Her small tender bare feet shifting underneath her dress, even they can’t contain the love and happiness in this cell, in our souls.

Through the ceremony I can only hold her hands in mine as I look at

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her eyes, repeat the wedding vows and my personal ones as my eyes water, then she repeats the wedding vows and her personal ones. As a tear drops from her eyes I let one of her hands go so I wipe the tear from her. I kiss her with all the love I have and I feel all her love, my wife, my love, my life, my joy, my everything, my Jennifer.

This can happen to you, just don’t give up, keep on dreaming, searching. Keep hope alive, you are special and so is your love and you deserve to be loved.

Black and Pink, thank you for sharing this with our community and also helping me give this gift to my wife Jennifer that she may have a copy of your magazine with this article as a wedding gift. I may finally be going home and get released from prison next October 2018 and I will be separated from my wife. I am humbly asking to please print this soon that we may both have a copy of our special day.

Thank you and thank you my wife Jennifer.

Always your Husband, Tai chikila, I love you, Marcos (NV) your cocatoo

Dear BLACK & PINK FAMILY MY NAME IS NICHOLAS THIS IS MY FIRST LETTER IM 36 YEARS OLD AND HAVE BEEN ICARCERATED SINCE 2009 IN KY DOC BEFOR THAT I SERVED IN THE NAVY DURING “THE DONT ASK DONT TELL”.

IM TRANS ITS HARDER IN KYDOC THIRE are a few of us That’s Been Trying since 2010 to

Volume 9, Issue 7

GET A LGBT Group we Got one IN 2012 and GIVEN Permission to purchase panties & bra’s. LAST NOVber 2017 The BLACK & PINK FAMILY HAS HELPED US OUT THANK YOU TO ALL WHO HAS WRITING IN THE PAST NIKKI (KY) Dear Black + Pink Family, I am writing to send all my love to the whole LGBTQ community and let you know that my thoughts and prayers go out to all my family members that are doing time.

My name is Kevin. I am a 38 yo gay male serving a 10 year sentence in Wisconsin. This is my first time writing, but I have been a member of Black and Pink for years. I enjoy reading all your stories and can relate to some of them. I think I am the first gay in Wisconsin that has written to Black and Pink. I came to prison back in 2010 and was the quiet and shy guy. I always heard how “straight” people discriminated against us gays. As years went by I slowly was able to be who I am in here. If someone doesn’t know me and asks if I am gay, I give them the truth “Yes, I’m gay.” I have always kept it real with people in here because there’s nothing to hide from. You should be yourself and be proud of who you are. I have gained so much respect from all the “straight” guys because I am honest with them and they respect that. Now it is 2017 and I am loud and proud in prison. I would never change who I am and I hope that my words help others be who they are. You don’t have to be afraid just be human. Thank you my Black and Pink family for sharing all the

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great stories and issues going on in the LGBTQ community. If my guy Billy is reading this I want to say “I’m Sorry” again for letting you down. It would be nice to hear from my best friend again. The rest of my brothers and sisters “Stand Up For What You Believe.” The LGBTQ family needs to stand together and become one.

Love always, Kevin J. (WI) What’s up Black-and-Pink family and friends!!!

I just wanna introduce myself to the readers. My real name is Tor N. but my nickname is “6”. I am 28 years young and I’m currently serving my second prison sentence with less than 2 years left. 2019 needs to hurry up and get here! :) hahahahaha!! :) I am a black young looking male with tattoos and gold teeth who loves to smile and laugh, thanks to my fun and playful sense of humor. I just recently embraced the fact that I’m gay (as in, I’m not in the closet anymore and so I let it be known that I like punks/girls). I’m a top, and I became a little hoe-ish/ male whore because I be talking to all the punks/girls on the compound and it’s hard for me to say “no” to a good time. If you know what I mean... :) Hahaha!! :) I got turned out on my first prison bid. I was only 17 years young with a 3 1/2 prison sentence. But we all know that at the age of 17, our hormones are raging and we get really horny quite often. And I never told this to anybody and so I guess it’s safe to say and admit that within my first 3 months in prison. I had consensual sex with 2 separate punks/girls. I enjoyed the experience and I truly don’t regret it but little did I know

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at the time that it would forever become life changing for me. I guess you can say that they had put it n me. :) Hahaha!! :) Shaking my head, but besides them 2 punks/girls that I had while in prison at the age of 17, I just recently started back messing around with them at the age of 27.

But in between that time frame, I was only having consensual sexual acts with punks/girls on the streets, where it’s more private and of course because of the access I had to getting condoms and protection and what-not. But anyways, at first I was in the closet and hiding my secret sexual preference for a long time but now I became a firm believer in: “If you is ashamed of what you do or is doing, then don’t do it.” Don’t stress or worry about what other inmates think or feel about you. Because it is true that there are a lot of inmates who you would least expect it, who gone envy you and try to bring you down when in all actuality they really wanna be in your shoes or have the person who you is dating or what-not. You would be surprised to find out the truth behind most of these inmates ulterior motives. But alright Black and Pink family and friends. Take care of ya’ll selves in this crazy system we call the ‘chaingang.’ :) Haha!! :) PS. I’m also looking for a pen pal to write me for these last little 2 years I have left.

Hugs~n~Kisses, Tor N. (FL) Black & Pink Family, I want to tell you that my address changed. I will give you it below. I sit here in my little cell where I’m Bisexual. I met a guy. He’s bisexual too. We talk all the time. I have

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Black & Pink News

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2018

More Letters from Our B&P Family feelings for him. But he does not know it. So how’s my Black and Pink family doing? I hope you are well. I’m just under the weather here. I’ve been sick. And can you send me the latest Black and Pink magazine you have? I have 2 years to go and I’m free. I can’t wait until that day when they open the gates for me. Then I will keep writing you until I’m free. But I am still a gay man and I will never stop being gay. So tell me, can you put this letter in your newest magazine so I can read it? I’m 54 years old and I’m gay. I’ve been like this almost all my life. And I’m not going to stop. I will find my king and I won’t stop until I do. So please, put this letter in your newest newsletter.

thank each and every one of you for all your support, time, money, sacrifice, tears and dedication that you have put into this organization.

Thanks to you I felt comfortable being myself and not being afraid.

I’m very happy to report to you all that I have finally found my other half. I found a man that is wonderful, kind, humble, God-fearing, loving supportive, and caring. I have been with him for almost a year and I couldn’t have hoped for a better man. I love him very much and he loves me too. I’m very grateful for everything I have gained (a family, friends, and the love of my life).

Thank you my brothers and sisters.

God bless you and keep your head up and your voices higher.

Love,

Billy (NC) Hello! My name is Gianni B. + I’m 34 years old. I’m currently incarcerated it serving a 15 year sentence, of which I got 5 done so far. I don’t have any family out there so at the beginning of my sentence I felt so alone and scared because I had no support. Then one day I came across a B&P magazine & that changed my life. All the letters & stories that all of you share with everyone else really help to make my life very much brighter. You all (my brothers and sisters) have given me the strength to keep pushing forward even though there are many that try to push us down. I have been receiving B&P for two years now and honestly I don’t think I could have done it without all the LGBTQ community behind me. I want to

Gianni (TX)

Hello to all, I’ve been reading Black & Pink for about 5 years on and off.

To start, my name is David B., I’ve been in the Feds Behind the walls for 23 years,.I’m a 44 year old gay white male.I have to say your News mag is awesome, It’s such a great outlet for people concerned.Its such a dangerous world in this prison.

Most prisons this lifestyle will not be tolerated.

I was beat off the yard in Lewis Burg in 08 and stabbed off the yard in Hazleton in ‘10, and even pretty much set up By administration at that time, But the thing that kept me strong

and stand on my own in this life in here, was always knowing all of these people that hate on ya and want to hurt you, dont have a clue. And what I mean is, so many people’s so worried about what everybody else is doing it creates a toxic environment for everybody.

And a voice of reason doesn’t even come into play.

I’ve always been a pretty well respected individual in these prisons, And I’ve seen way too much. But something else I have seen too much of is the immaturity and complete and utter lack of responsibility people can bring to this cause.

It makes it so hard on everyone. I just believe if more people that are involved and aware of what there actions could affect others everywhere Then little By little even those would wake to there misguided ways.

Hell most of us are lonely and need somebody, we want love we want to be wanted, its not a game, its life.

I cry for this cause, I bleed for this cause I am for this cause.

For everybody sitting in a cell right now reading this, I love you, and just know, as these hours and days turn into years, we all get wiser.

Now weather you use it or not is up to you.

Stay Awesome and Stay Beautiful, Much love now and always,

David B. (FL)

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Volume 9, Issue 7

To my Black & Pink Family, Let me introduce myself! My B.N. is Tad but I'd much rather be named Talen Elyse, Tally or Sprinkles. I am 28 years old, M2F Trans and an inmate of the North Dakota State Pen. Reading all of your letters the last few years has been an emotional rollercoaster from inspirational to heart breaking. Knowing we all have family and support through B&P is amazing! Keep strong, brothers and sisters.

So, after fighting the system here at the NDDOCR for about 2 years we are finally starting to see progress!

Thanks to all of you who fought, won and set precedents, the steady flow of gender-affirming commissary items has begun. I can finally say the staff here are acknowledging my existence!

Artwork by BJ (CT)

I want to say Hey to all of you! My sweet family, you are amazing!

Love always,

Tally (ND)

Dear Black and Pink, First let me say HEY to my huge family! I love you all! I hope this gets published in the mag. My name is Aryka (Erica). This place is ten years behind in times. I’m trans MTF along with about 10 others here at this prison. There is no unity among us girls. I’ve tried a few times, but they’re young and would rather chase boys.

I had a man for 2 years 3 months and I allowed myself to become spoiled. He bought me everything I needed, and a few things I wanted.

I confused love with loneliness, he didn’t want to be alone during his

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lengthy bid and attached himself to me as with the other girls Our relationship just lasted longer. I got into trouble when he abandoned me.

Now that I’ve lost everything that I own, shoes, fleece, etc, I’m on a taking back my own life kick. I don’t need a man to take care of me!

For one, if the state wants t send everything home, then the state can also provide for med funds for 2.

This isn’t my home! I have a release date, then do your thing and make the prison work for you. Take your life into your own hands and mold it into someone you want to be. I’m 33 years old an African American surrounded by people that aren’t that kind to my race. I tell myself every day that I’m beautiful. Take the negative and make it positive.

Thats what I do (most of the time).

I hope everyone out there finds peace within themself. Everyone take care. Your sister,

Aryka-Renee (NH)

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To my brothers and sisters of Black and Pink, First of all I want to express that I am going to miss the words of Jason in the B&P newspaper. I loved to hear his words, they brought me a peace and love because it showed how much he cared for the LGBTQ family.

My next words is for Tray, I wish him much blessings and hopes that he can bring more love to the Black and Pink family, even to the family in prison. Now to y’all at my Black and Pink Chicago, my love to y’all always.To let y’all know I’ve changed my religious beliefs to that of my grandmother and aunt Paulina to wiccan instead of christian. I started going a few months ago and study everyday to strengthen myself in the craft.

I found a peace and truth in my beliefs of hat my aunt and grandmother and mom were doing for me in giving me herbs and other things to keep me healthy. My good friend who is on the streets in Freeport Illinois Chris also a celtic wiccan kept me from getting sick in prison. I chose this first to gain my knowledge of the craft in perfect love and perfect trust to help all living things to live and let live, it makes no difference of race, creed, way of life straight or gay we don’t discriminate we are to harm none (nobody) not even ourselves. To live by the wiccan rule is what we do.

I keep y’all in my heart, mind, soul always and pray to the gods and goddess every night to keep y’all safe and all the covens too. That the gods and goddesses will strengthen in knowledge, beliefe, energy, faith, love for all things to prosper the

Black & Pink News

earth mother and help her to heal.

I will stop here. Love to all and remember yall are always in my prayers to the gods and goddesses.

Love always,

Eagle Wolf (IL)

Hi everyone! My name is Destini Renee S. I’m a transgender woman currently coming to you from SHU. I’d really like to talk about a couple things on my mind. In Oct of 2016 I got off the bus here and my life changed. I met my new cellmate (we won’t mention names because A LOT of you know her). We fell in love with each other. However, she had a problem, “Sabixon addiction”.

Eventually I followed suit and tried it and shortly afterward I became addicted. Everyday was a constant headache. We would argue over the drug all the time, constantly chase it, and spend all our money on it.

We allowed the love for the drug to overrun the love we had for each other. Then it happened. My cellie got taken to SHU for fighting. The next day I was woken up by 2 of my friends (well one friend and one that now hates me) and helped me to understand that she was using me. So... 1st off, I quit the drug.

Addiction is a “B*?!H”. Don’t ever do that stuff. My cellmate got me addicted so that I would buy dope and split it with her. For that I’ll never forgive her. However she knows something about me. I’ve got puppy love for her. She can kick me repeatedly and I’ll go running right back to her. However, this time....I can’t. Not right now at least. I’d love to marry that trans woman one day but she’d have to do some real changing. She always said that I’d never conform for her but I did a lot

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of it. Now, hun, if you love me, as I know you do, please conform for me. I’d do anything for you missy!

Do this for “us”. Inmates at Terre Haute - USP know who I’m talking about. Sometimes you have to think twice before you fall in love.

Shoutout time: Karessa-Rose, I love you princess. Ms. Rafaela “Loera” Gamoa, I hope Florida is treating you well. I love you too! Also to Ms. Brittany in Tuscon, I’m glad you got your “HRT”. Keep doing what I told you. Keep fighting for trans rights.

To everyone else LGBTQIA, I love you all! Stay strong!

Your sister,

Destini Renee S. (IN)

Black and Pink National July 11 2018 Hello, my name is Angel and I come to learn, understand, teach, and reveal some things to you. I’m deeply involved and have committed my total being to the following.

Spiritual affairs, and their relation to truth and God’s love.

I plan and have already created a type of Church. Yet this one is only to save as Jesus intended and not to judge.

Every thing happens for a reason.

Alpha and Omega. Cause and effect. Please don’t be prejudiced toward Jesus and God, for so many mis-represent Him. I know there are people who are born different; made to be different by the world. Some for God’s purpose. His purpose is always good. Jesus knows this. You know what Jesus calls these people who are different sexually. He calls them Unique. Or eunuchs. Read-

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Google Matthew 19 to understand better yet Jesus and God and you know your spirit and who cares what anyone else says. I can get way way more into depth and if you care to hear more get back to me.

Now I am gonna tell you something about transgender and its relation to the spirit and world around us. The whys and the hows. While… the physical world is made to explain the spiritual world and create more spirits and to to … well that is way to far a subject. But it explains a order, a hierarchy, a way things work in the spirit world.

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related. My girl sold a lot of drugs and was trying to run the city and she’s only 20 now. I’ve been doing it, running my city selling dope forever and I’m 35. I fell in love so hard for her cause she went so hard.

She reminded me of me so much, and I felt a desperate need to save her from so many mistakes I’ve made in my life. All mistakes came from not knowing Jesus or from not obeying God. She is now saved and me too and we plan to save many others. Remember in Christ there is no color race or sex. Just unity

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and a fight against the real enemy.

Liars, corruption, abuse, and lack of support. So know that the Church has you back. Me and my girl and of couse Jesus are gonna make it sol If we moved drugs and controlled the streets, we can move God and his love better than most. Hope to keep in touch.

Always In God’s Love,

Angel Jesse D. (TX)

God is the Lord of Ghost. Well at first males men were stronger and dominant a force to females women physically. So this is a type of hierarchy. Yet now that physical strength does not matter and women are on a more level playing field so some women are stronger spiritually than men. Making their spirits so called men spirits. And many men are more submissive and learned this and are born that way and are women spirits. Yet there is nothing wrong or right It is just reality due to the fact that there is hardly any order. So many men now always are nothing but – pardon my language – are hoes. Leaving females with children. I see ‘em daily. If I was a woman I definitely would be a lesbian due to the fact I would hate to raise a child by myself. I’ve put together much. Let just want to let you know some of what I preach. I know my word is going to go viral and I plan on helping all know God’s love and we’re all his children and we need him and he needs us.

Me and my girlfriend know God better than most. For some reason we have a bunch of gay friends. We are very real and were very gang

artwork courtesy of Melanie Cervantes via justseeds.org

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Black & Pink News

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2018

Poetry from Our Black & Pink Family FROM THE INSIDE-Out. (Who I Am). *** I remember, as a boy of eight, while having a crush on other classmates, I did not know what it meant to be gay.

There were many rejections filled with hate, as I tried to cope, I didn’t relate, so I escaped into my own reflection.

Through the mirror, what did I see, a sad, lonely boy who couldn’t be me. Nobody seemed to recognize the pain all over my face, as I tried to hide the truth, I internally ran away. I felt it was my fault, that my creation was a mistake. So, suicide I did contemplate. *** I remember, as a boy of ten, playing with my neighbor friends, being teased just for being a victim over, and over again. Not knowing why I was looked-upon differently.

Only wanting a real friend.

But, instead I was their target, without any remorse, or a helpinghand. I was alive right in front of them, but they could not see the love in a boy of ten.

There seemed to be hate everywhere, with no end. This was the early 80’s my friend.

Understand? *** I remember, as a boy of 12, loving to entertain, and share the joy of myself, not knowing when the next attack would come, or how to defend myself. I realized quickly, that I was being used, treated like trash, a throw-away child, with many hands of abuse.

The one sanctuary that I did not have, should have been my family,

but they were just as bad. I lost trust in them. There seemed to be no way out of this nightmare. *** I remember, as a boy of 14, damaged beyond repair every day was a scare. In my small town, and everywhere, I could find none like me. Many nights I’d cry myself to sleep, no-one to hold, or comfort me. Where was Love when I needed it the most? Where was my hero, my guide, my angel, hope, or liberty?

Why could I not be free? *** I remember, as a young man of 16, hidden wounds not seen, not knowing what to make of me. Being told that my love is insanity. That I should not be this way. No matter how hard I tried, I could not hide my thoughts, and feelings inside. So, I ignored and denied their opinions of who, and what I was meant to be.

Mentally, I drifted slowly away, because this world did not want me to stay. I then made my own way.

Today, I can say, I’m a Survivor.

I CELEBRATE ME. *** I remember, as a young man of 18, surrounded by strangers who couldn’t recognize me, as I walked among them, looking for love desperately. All I found, were those who could not understand, who or what I was, still am, as I write this from my memory.

Many nights I sat alone, praying I would have met you, so I could have held you close. But, it was not meant to be. Unfortunately. *** I remember, the end. When at 18, I finally gave-up, got a gun, and tried to end my life’s pain. But,

as I tried to die, I became that scared little child, and instead I turned the gun into hate. I became my own worst enemy. I shot my Grandfather that day. It was suicide by proxy, they say. I’m now in Prison. Been here (in years) 23…….

The State gave me no mercy. *** While in Prison, I have found others like me. I now feel like I AM FREE. It’s a sad reality. *** I now share my story with you. Hoping change will happen due to my abuse. I PRAY THAT ALL BOYS OF 8, CAN MEET SOMEONE LIKE ME. THAT WAY THEIR LIVES MAY NOT END IN Tragedy…….

FROM THE INSIDEOut……. I’m J.lee

by J. Lee (WA)

I feel like I feel like a young man again not ole and frail. I feel like I can do anything Anything at all. I feel my heart is Thumping strong. Blood flowing free, and fast. I feel like a young man Again. Not fearing the wind and the cold. I feel like I can do it all.

Climb a hill, or a tree or two that’s How young you make me feel.

How much do you feel when your young Too. That is the feeling I feel All the day long.

by Ivar N. (OR)

Volume 9, Issue 7

YOUR LOVE (dedicated to those whose love is real and unconditional) Your love has me climbing walls to get to you Your love has me addicted to you, can’t get enough of you you’re like chocolate melting in my mouth Your love has my heart racing beating like a heart attack please call 911 Your love has me going crazy inside

by William C. (PA)

Nobody Walks Alone Often times when the highway of life seems rough And all of your dreams have flown Just remember, wherever your road may go, Nobody walks alone.

When everyone else has let you down, And under your groans, Just keep reminding your bereaved heart, Nobody walks alone.

Then suddenly you’ll feel my hand in yours.

And my eyes lifting up your own.

And you’ll hear my gentle, forgiving voice, “NOBODY WALKS ALONE.” To my secret heart

by Miley Selena F. (PA)

blackandpink.org

Page 35

Black Madam Releases Infamous, a New Memoir With struggles endured by a young Transgender girl from the inner city of Philadelphia trying to make a way out of no way, Padge Victoria Windslowe, who also becomes known as the Urban Gothic Recording Artist Black Madam, finds herself in the mist of an International Scandal when her illegal black market silicone butt injection service to many A-Lister stars like Kim Kardashian West, Amber Rose & more goes woefully array.

With world wide headlines of a Butt Injection Murderer on the loose in the streets of Philadelphia hitting the airways by way of CNN’s Nancy Grace, due to the death of a dancer who flew from London to receive Madam’s Services... Madam’s world is turned upside down.

After a year of living on the Lam, the Black Madam is finally apprehended at a pumping party in the East Germantown section of Philadelphia where she attempts to perform yet another procedure similar to the one that killed the young English dancer just a year prior.

With tales of Black Mail, Black Magic & Black Madam’s secreted international Black Market Beauty Business which thrived in the underbelly of Philadelphia now exposed, She’s headed to judgement for

Murder.

Immerse yourself into this reciting read, on the Life & Times of the once dubbed Society Hill Madame - Padge Victoria Windslowe turned The BLaCK MADaM, in order to gain the vital insight needed to understand the making of this woman destine to become INFAMOUS! Join the MADAMNATION— the Infamous book conversation—on Facebook (link), Twitter (@ FREEBLACKMADAM) and Instagram (@ FREEBLACKMADAM) now.

INFAMOUS is available now at SureShotBooks: https:// www.sureshotbooks.com/ product_info.php?products_ id=5653324&cPath=_.

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Black & Pink News

Together Bodies entwined: a strong brew a magical potion Your eyes I find: I enter you a lyrical motion...

Making love our music sweet thrusts to a higher note Crescendoes from the time we meet our bed a rocking boat...

Your lips the softest Kiss I give your body mine to take For this one moment I do live together we do make.

The Heart Of A Black Knight in a black night a fire burns to keep the flame burning Lessons of love a black Knight learns to keep the heart yearning...

A massive fortress was his heart battlements and towers Kept him ‘lest he be torn apart by a love’s great powers...

Last vestiges of his resolve when he looked in love’s eyes The ancient bulwarks then dissolve melting, an angel cries.

Power To The People Bouyed by hard resolution empowered to withstand The people of revolution true freedom they demand...

To the people restore power of our own we take charge Not til the eleventh hour for now our strength looms large...

The people’s will who can resist? none can stand in our path Raised to the air empowered fist razed foes caught in our wrath

by Prince Osiris (FL)

I TRY (dedicated to Ms. Prissy) You accuse, ridicule and disrespect me, but still I try.

Talking to you is impossible, the words go through one ear and out the other, but, still I try.

You talk of godliness, & tell me to pray, but you contradict all in which you say.

So. Why do I try?

Because, my love is strong, my love is unconditional.

I don’t care abut what others say.

Proud to be with you, hand in hand, to show you my love, even if they call me gay.

I know people have done you wrong before, and that has done things to your mental, and it causes you to constantly question me, but I still stand by your side, no matter what, I stand to weather that storm, but you turned on me, and still, I try.

by Jeffrey L. (PA)

Just for Today Chains and cuffs, keys and doors Cell block to cell block, solitary isolation, being escorted of course The pains of these places sometimes are beyond real.

Being trapped and naked, cold

december

2018

concrete is all I feel. There once was a time I never imagined being alone, cast away, in solitude, my actions have made my new home.

I have cost many loved ones living in the dark.

I sometimes wonder if I have lost myself, as the cold surrounds in my heart In this place of wrath and tears, I’ve almost given up all hope.

Contemplated suicide, I hardly could cope....

Some days the pains simply remind me I am alive, but some days the pain’s numbing, I feel lost as a dummy in time.

Just for today, I don’t feel so bad, having memories of days we once had. The past is the past of what makes today so real, memories of the days to feel, when life was simple, and we were feer. We would hold each other as secret lovers, spending life together, just you + me. I won’t give up on our past, as long as we are alive, this love will always last.

Just for today we will make this real simply, imagine how this soon shall feel, pain & confinement is a state of mind. So remember: we will always be free, long as you’re mine.

by Starla (AR)

Dedicated to my wonderful boyfriend Christopher Allen Thornsberry. I love you baby and always will. So remmeber this poem and don’t let the folks get you down.

Love to all my Black and Pink fam

blackandpink.org

Volume 9, Issue 7

Page 37

More Poems from Our B&P Family Trust Sometimes I wonder why I so dilligently hide when I cry.

A weaker man I don’t think that I’ll be, It’s just Nothing I want anyone to see.

I don’t want to be asked why, or asked what made me cry.

If I feel I can trust you, I might let you see.

My heart has been stepped and stomped on, That’s why its just so hard to trust.

I really would like to trust someone, Someone to talk to who would listen why.

Thats why I hide my face when I cry.

It’s so hard can you understand why.

Could you listen without trying to pry, or do I have to tell you goodbye.

by Danny G. (TX)

I LOVE YOU Baby as my Heart Bleeds For You I Would Die for You! There’s nothing in this Life, that i wouldn’t do for you!

I Love You Girl, No matter what they say You are my Heart until my Dying Day If Pain is Pressure then What the hell is Living you are the Breath that i Breathe, until the day that i fall to my Knee’s I don’t like it when I see you cryin

Girl Stop Denyn I Know he making you cryin.

So baby open up ya heart And let me go inside So I can make you mine!

You are what my heart Desires so there’s Nothing i wouldn’t Do to make you my boo!

by Cody S. (MI)

Daughters of the Summer Solstice Above me the evening stars shine like the eyes of some great nocturnal beast, In the moonlit glade they dance in circles; summer magic in the air. The goddess drinks to the music of the daughters of the solstice.

The beauty of the night embraces me like the arms of a lover, the wind kisses my cheek and caresses my skin. The smell of incense enthralls me as the daughters of the solstice twirl and chant.

With flower petals tossed into the night the daughters of the solstice delight in the moment they reach the ecstasy of their enchantment cast upon a sleeping world.

Time stands still and nature holds her breath when the equinox nears, and the daughters of the solstice ask the goddess to herald the dawning of a new summer.

I witness the daughters of the solstice take flight like the nymphs of old. They pass me not knowing I was even there.

by Charlie K. (TX)

GOD Was 27 surviving A long vacation Full of secrets Wasn’t enough Wasn’t so tough Living a fault Grace; Back up in the mirror Thank my sister, the truth Swallowing, no more mourning I am enough To be loved Not about me RISE ABOVE The Universe call Set you free...

By, no other way I picked I knew In front I looked Wasn’t, way Name of love Not giving up the there was MYSELF I put one mirror And decided to take me

by Amber W (IL)

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Black & Pink News

december

2018

Buscando Contribuciones

Call for Submissions

¡Hola hermosa familia hispano-parlante de Black & Pink!

Seeking erotic short stories, poems, and art by Black & Pink incarcerated and free-world family members for a new zine. To be mailed, art cannot include full nudity. Please send submissions (and shout out to the authors from the first issue mailed in January!) addressed to Black & Pink — HOT PINK. This is a voluntary project, and no money will be offered for submissions, but you might get the chance to share your spicy story with many other readers! The zine will be sent one or two times per year.

Estamos buscando contribuciones en español para nuestras secciones de Cartas a Nuestra Familia y Poesía del Corazón. Por favor envía tu contribución escrita en forma legible y de no más de tres páginas a: Black & Pink — ESPAÑOL Damos la bienvenida a cualquier escrito de tu creación, pero dado el espacio y la variedad, no todas las contribuciones pueden ser aceptadas. Al enviar tu contribución, das permiso a Black & Pink para publicar tus escritos en forma impresa y en internet.

To subscribe to upcoming issues of HOT PINK, write to our address, Black & Pink — HOT PINK.

Black & Pink Mailing Information Write to us at: Black & Pink — [see table below] 614 Columbia Rd. Dorchester, MA 02125 Please note that you can send multiple requests/ topics in one envelope! Due to concerns about consent and confidentiality, you cannot sign up other people for the newspaper. However, we can accept requests from multiple people in the same envelope. There’s no need to send separate requests in more than one envelope.

If you are being released and would still like to receive the Black & Pink News, please let us know where to send it!

Penpal program info: LGBTQ prisoners can list their information and a short non-sexual ad online where free-world people can see it and decide to write. There will be forms in upcoming issues.

Mail info: We are several months behind on our mail. There will be a delay, but please keep writing!

Email us: members@blackandpink.org

If you would like to request: If you would like to request:

Address the envelope to: Address the envelope to:

Newspaper Subscriptions, Penpal Program, Address Change, or Volunteering

Black & Pink — General

Newspaper Submissions — Stories, Articles, Poems, Art

Black & Pink — Newspaper Submissions

Black & Pink Organization or Newspaper Feedback

Black & Pink — Feedback

Black & Pink Religious Zine

Black & Pink — The Spirit Inside

Advocacy Requests (include details about the situation and thoughts about how calls or letters might help)

Black & Pink — Advocacy

Submit to or request Erotica Zine

Black & Pink — HOT PINK

Stop Your Newspaper Subscription

Black & Pink — STOP Subscription

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Black & Pink 614 Columbia Rd. Dorchester, MA 02125 Return Service Requested

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