black and pink news
Lee (TX)
Volume 12, Issue 2
Family, My journey to abolition was like pulling teeth. What has helped me most in my journey is understanding that abolition is a way of life - It means divesting from everything that feels oppressive. I think that can also be a big barrier for folx - especially for oppressed people - to divest from systems that allow us to have a hierarchy so that some of us can feel better than others, while the world tries to make all of us feel like we’re nothing. As a young person who grew up in the system, I was raised to adopt these systems that were around me. At the same time that these systems were harming me, I was being raised to believe they were the truth. I was blessed to have become an adolescent sex educator. I don’t think it’s possible to work with young people every day and NOT realize that you don’t know anything about anything. For me, that’s the beauty of abolition - that I don’t have to know everything about everything. I just have to believe that people are the answer, and systems are not. The beauty of abolition, for me,
Page 3
blackandpink.org
has been finding access to my own autonomy. I have found a way to feel free, even when other parts of myself were not free. And that’s a gift that most folx don’t have access to, but I want all of us to have access to that liberation and autonomy. I’m leaning on my people even more. When I feel unsafe, I lean on my people more - I don’t pull back, I divest from the systems more, I invest in us more. That’s been my key when I feel afraid - don’t invest in a system, invest in my people. I look forward to continuing my abolitionist journey, and am grateful to be learning alongside all of you, my community. In solidarity, Dominique Morgan Black & Pink National Executive Director
Hello, family! Just an editor’s note to drop in a little content warning. This issue is broadly themed around sexual assault and abolition, in a response to sexual assault awareness month which was observed in April. We’re talking about some topics that may be upsetting, activating or challenging. These topics include sexual assault, rape, childhood
sexual abuse and other difficult issues. We continue to stand with survivors and victims of sexual violence and harm. We have included some resources to help you to ground yourself and move through any unpleasant sensations that come up. This content is challenging! But we believe it is important to talk about the many ways that the carceral system attempts to hurt us all instead of heal. If you find yourself needing to talk to someone and are able to call out, here are some places to contact: Trans Lifeline - 877-565-8860 Anti Violence Project - 212-7141141 TrevorLifeline - 866-488-7386 We love you always and are thinking of you now and forever. Thank you for being our family. Please continue to write. We read and cherish every letter, though we may not be able to publish and respond to them all. Solidarity and support, Black & Pink Editorial Team
Page 4
In This Issue p3 - Letters from Dominique Morgan and the Newsletter Staff p5 - Reclaim Your Power p6 - Black & Pink Updates p7 - Ask A Lawyer p11- Deepening My Compassion p12 - Healing Through Sexual Assault Prevention p13 - Ask Mx. Zephy p15 - The Build Up p17 - Lessons in Listening p18 - On Sexual Harm p21 - Self Care Break p22 - Dear Gay p26 - Unlocking a Braver Space p29 - PenPal Application p34 - Resouces for Victims and Survivors p45 - Letters and Poetry from Our Inside Family
Cover Image by Joanna Price, courtesy of amplifier.org Inside cover art by Lee (TX)
Black & Pink News
APRIL/MAY 2021
Disclaimer
Statement of Purpose
The ideas and opinions expressed in Black & Pink News are solely those of the authors and artists and do not necessarily reflect the views of Black & Pink. Black & Pink makes no representations as to the accuracy of any statements made in Black & Pink News, including but not limited to legal and medical information. Authors and artists bear sole responsibility for their work. Everything published in Black & Pink News is also on the Internet—it can be seen by anyone with a computer. By sending art or written work to “Newspaper Submissions,” you are agreeing to have it published in Black & Pink News and on the Internet. In order to respect our members’ privacy, we publish only first names and state locations. We may edit submissions to fit our antioppression values and/or based on our own editing guidelines.
Black & Pink is an open family of LGBTQ prisoners and “free world” allies who support each other. Our work toward the abolition of the prison-industrial complex (PIC) is rooted in the experiences of currently and formerly incarcerated people. We are outraged by the specific violence of the PIC towards LGBTQ people, and we respond through advocacy, education, direct service, and organizing. Black & Pink is proudly a family of people of all races and ethnicities. About Black & Pink News Since 2007, Black & Pink free world volunteers have pulled together a monthly newspaper, composed primarily of material written by our family’s incarcerated members. In response to letters we receive, we send the newspaper to more prisoners every month! Black & Pink News currently reaches more than 20,000 people!
Volume 12, Issue 2
Page 5
blackandpink.org
By Brooke Monaco, Black & Pink Wellness Coordinator The importance of water intake is far from new information, but the hype is warranted. Drinking water daily is important for more reasons than just staying hydrated for survival. Water aids the body in digestion and helps to prevent constipation. It helps to support joints and muscles and regulate body temperature and blood pressure - amongst many other things. The body alone is anywhere from 45%-65% water, and the brain is nearly 90%. Your body loses water constantly by breathing, sweating and urinating. With that said, making sure we are drinking enough to rehydrate is vital.
There’s a lot of different factors that go into how much water you would need to drink in a day - how active you are, time of year, where you live, diet, etc. Nobody can tell you how much water you need in a day, but the most common intake goal a day that people know is 8 glasses of water. Lately that estimate has changed to 13 cups for men and 9 cups for women. While water may not be the most flavorful, interesting drink there is, it is the healthiest. Below are some tips to help add more water to your everyday life: • Start every morning by drinking a full glass of water
• • • • •
•
before eating or drinking anything else. Drink one glass of water before each meal. Drink one glass of water after every bathroom break. If available, add cucumber, lemon or anything that may sound refreshing. If you decide to drink something with sugar, dilute it by adding water. Once your glass or water bottle is empty, immediately fill it back up, so you always have water on hand. Set deadlines as routines for your days. Example: Drink 3 glasses of water by 1pm, 3 more by 5pm, 3 more by 9pm.
Page 6
Black & Pink News
APRIL/MAY 2021
Just Some General Updates! A Check In On Our Contests Thanks so much to all of you for submitting your entries to our Lydon House drawing contest and newsletter naming competition. We have recieved a number of WONDERFUL entries and are working through judging at this time. Black & Pink News will feature updates on selected finalists in a coming issue! We have so much amazing work to choose from, we wish we could pick them all.
A Note About Mail Just a continued reminder that we are behind on reading and processing postal mail. We are moving through all the letters, art, poems and projects you have sent us and are hoping to be current soon. We apologize for the delay and hope to be up to date soon. If you need immediate assistance and have access to email (or have an outside friend that does), please email us at community@ blackandpink.org
Volume 12, Issue 2
Hi folks! Welcome back to the “Ask A Lawyer” section of the newsletter. I’m Aaron El Sabrout, J.D., Black & Pink’s Advocacy Manager. A lot of y’all have written to us with questions about PREA, or the Prison Rape Elimination Act, and your rights under PREA. I thought we could explore this topic together so that you can feel comfortable taking action when your rights have been violated. Before you read any further, I am offering a content and trigger warning. We will be discussing sexual harm and it might bring up some uncomfortable feelings or trigger a flashback, all of which are normal responses. There is nothing wrong with you for experiencing them. If you start to feel overwhelmed, sit somewhere where your feet can touch something solid. Notice the connection between the ground and your feet. Take a big inhale in and exhale out. Do that a few times until you feel calm and centered again.
blackandpink.org
Incarcerated trans and queer folks, particularly trans women of color, experience high rates of sexual violence. For many, this is not new information, but a direct experience of real life. As an incarcerated person you have a right to be protected from violence and sexual abuse. The state may not honor that, but regardless of guilt or innocence, sexual harm is never an appropriate consequence of conviction.. The right to be protected from sexual violence while incarcerated is described by the Eighth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, which outlaws “cruel and unusual punishments.” While incarcerated people have the right to be protected from sexual harm, popular culture reminds us just how prevalent sexual harm is through jokes. In 2003, U.S. Congress unanimously passed the “Prison Rape Elimination Act” (PREA)1. This law commissioned a series of studies on sexual harm in detention facilities, required the U.S. Department of Justice to 1. 42 U.S.C. ch. 147 § 15601 et seq.
Page 7
create standards for preventing prison sexual violence, and imposed funding penalties on states that did not comply with the standards. The Department of Justice released the final PREA Standards in 2012. The PREA Standards are regulations implementing the Prison Rape Elimination Act2. For folks housed in federal prisons and ICE detention centers,3 the PREA standards apply directly to your facility. For those housed in state facilities, the state can lose a small percentage of its federal funding for not complying with the PREA Standards4. If you are 2. Often, Congress passes a law that doesn’t set standards in itself. Instead, the law tells a government agency (in this case the Department of Justice) to establish regulations. 3. US. Department of Justice PREA Standards, 28 CFR 115. ICE Detention Centers are governed by the Department of Homeland Security PREA Standards. 6 CFR Part 115. However, if you are an ICE detainee in a prison or jail, the prison or jail rules apply. 4. Every year, governors should either certify that all facilities are in compliance with PREA Standards,
Page 8
APRIL/MAY 2021
Black & Pink News
penalties for failing to comply. This means that often even if PREA technically applies, there are no direct consequences for facilities not following the standards. So, what are your rights under PREA? Based on the regulations, folks must be screened during prison/jail intake for their likelihood to be sexually violent or to be attacked. These screenings should account for LGBT+ identity, size, ability, and youth of the person being considered5. Facilities are required to have a “zero tolerance” approach to sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and staff sexual misconduct.6 All sexual interactions with staff are considered staff sexual misconduct, as incarcerated folks cannot legally consent to sex with staff.7 PREA standards require individuals to have multiple opportunities to report sexual assault, all of which should count as an “official
art by Amber 727 (NV)
in a county jail or police lockup, submit assurance that 5% of grant funds will be used to achieve compliance with the Standards, or get 5% less money from the Edward Byrne Memorial Justice Grant
PREA does not impose any Program and Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention Act Formula Grant Program. Under the Justice for All Reauthorization Act of either be in PREA compliance or
submit to 90% federal auditing. PL 114-324. 5. PREA Standards, 28 CFR 115.41. 6. PREA Resource Center/Just Detention International, “PREA: What You Need to Know,” (Feb. 14, 2014). 7. We are an abolitionist organization and support sex work decriminalization. We understand that many people trade sex for money, safety, housing, and other things, and we respect that. However, it is legally considered sexual abuse for any prison staff to request sexual favors from an incarcerated person, and you have a right to get out of that kind of relationship and to safety and support if you need it.
Volume 12, Issue 2
report,” including reporting to counselors, medical staff, and line COs. You have the opportunity to get a rape kit from a forensic examiner or sexual assault nurse, and to access confidential medical and mental healthcare. If you are trans, gender nonconforming, and/or intersex, PREA has additional protections. Facilities are required to consider your choice of genderappropriate facilities and housing.8 You should be given the opportunity to shower privately.9 Facility staff are required to take measures to protect you, but “protective” solitary confinement should be a last resort.10 They also are not supposed to house LGBT+ people in a special unit, but it is okay if they have a “protective unit” that houses all vulnerable/ low risk people together in settings similar to general population. Those housing units should have equal access to programming and other resources.11 Some of these PREA regulations are double edged swords. For example, both folks who the facility decides are “sexually aggressive” and “sexually 8. PREA Standards, 28 CFR 115.42(c). 9. 28 CFR 115.42(f). 10. 28 CFR 115.43. 11. 28 CFR 115.42(g); see A. Hastings, A. Brown, K. Kall, M. diZerega, “Keeping Vulnerable Populations Safe under PREA: Alternative Strategies to the Use of Segregation in Prisons and Jails,” National PREA Resource Center (April 2015).
blackandpink.org
vulnerable” often end up in solitary confinement because of it. Once in, it is difficult to legally challenge solitary. Also, we know that decisions about who is a potential victim and who is a potential perpetrator are influenced by race, sexual orientation, HIV status, and gender performance and identity. Another issue is that “zero tolerance” policies to sexual abuse are not equally applied. Even though most sexual assault complaints are against officers, they are much less likely to be investigated fully and found to have committed the assault than incarcerated folks who are accused of sexual abuse.12 So “zero tolerance” often means more charges and longer sentences for incarcerated folks accused of abuse, and incomplete and unsubstantiated investigations against guards, even though they are more likely to be abusers. Another issue with PREA is its interaction with the Eighth Amendment. The Eighth Amendment provides protections against sexual 12. In 2015, correctional administrators reported 24, 661 allegations of sexual assault in adult correctional facilities. 58% involved staff abuse, 42% were among incarcerated folks. Only 8% of the allegations were substantiated based on completed investigations, but 16% of allegations against incarcerated folks were substantiated. R. Rantala, US DoJ Bureau of Justice Statistics, “Sexual Victimization Reported by Adult Correctional Authorities, 2012-15, NCJ 251146 (July 2018)
Page 9
assault while incarcerated. In particular, government officials violate the Eighth Amendment when they are “deliberately indifferent” to a “serious risk of harm” to an incarcerated person. This includes sexual assault.13 PREA defines sexual assault in carceral settings, but courts often don’t use PREA standards as a measure of deliberate indifference to a serious risk of harm. The problem is that neither PREA nor its standards indicates that an individual can sue the government for violating PREA. Many people have tried to use PREA in their Eighth Amendment court cases based on 42 USC section 1983. In most cases where incarcerated folks have tried to use PREA to prove the government was “deliberately indifferent,” the courts have ignored the PREA standards. Worse, when the government uses PREA as a defense, saying they followed the standards, the court often finds that to be proof that they were not deliberately indifferent, even taking the government’s words on what the standards are. So, what should you do in a situation where you (or someone you know) are sexually assaulted while incarcerated? Tell someone as soon as you can. It can be a CO you trust, medical staff, a counselor, even your cellie. PREA requires that your facility have multiple ways for you to report, including reporting to someone outside 13. Farmer v. Brennan, 511 U.S. 825 (1994).
Page 10
the facility (usually the state Inspector General’s office). It’s always good to find out what your facility’s PREA rules in advance, so that you know them if you or someone you know needs to report later. If you plan to sue, it is important to file a formal grievance. If you have just been assaulted, go to medical as soon as you can without washing or using the bathroom, and ask to have a rape kit made by a forensic examiner or sexual assault nurse. You have the right to decide whether the investigation goes forward, and you have the right to get counseling from a rape crisis center, as well as medical and mental health support.
1. Sexual assault, sexual abuse, and violence count as “serious harm.” In your complaint, you should describe what happened, and what health
3. It’s important to keep these legal principles in mind and reference them in your grievances. It helps show prison staff that you believe your claim to be valid and are willing to challenge the violation, you know what your rights are, and you could bring a court case that will be an inconvenience to them.
effects (physical and mental) you suffered. 2. To show that staff were “deliberately indifferent” you first have to show that they knew there was a risk of harm, and that their actions or failure to act caused the harm to happen. PREA itself does not count as evidence that LGBT+ people or others are vulnerable to abuse, but prior reported incidents, staff policies, staff statements can be used as evidence. If your facility is known to be a place where it is dangerous to be trans, gay, or HIV positive, that evidence can also show that staff knew there was a risk of harm.14 14. Greene v. Bowles, 361 F.3d 290 (6th Cir. 2004).
healing.
Above all, remember that you are a person of value who is worthy of love and care. No matter what happens, know that none of us deserve harm or sexual violence. We all should have the right to protection and to
If you or someone you know needs help dealing with sexual violence or other conditions of confinement, write to our national mailing address with “ATTN: Advocacy” as the top line of the address. Our advocacy team can inform you of your rights and legal strategies, and connect you with lawyers in your area. If you have a legal question you’d like to see featured in a future newsletter, send ‘em in with “ATTN: Ask a Lawyer” on the outside of the envelope. In care and solidarity, Aaron
art by Railand, courtesy of JustSeeds
In filing grievances and potentially legal complaints, it is more useful to rely on core Eighth Amendment case law than to use PREA. Courts have ruled that prisons have a legal duty to protect people detained there. To show that they have violated this obligation, you should describe in your grievance how officials were “deliberately indifferent” to a “serious risk of harm.” There are multiple parts to this:
APRIL/MAY 2021
Black & Pink News
Volume 12, Issue 2
blackandpink.org
Page 11
Deepening My Compassion: Finding Space in Abolition for Those Who Have Caused Sexual Harm By Nikola Zaporowski ** CONTENT WARNING: This piece discusses childhood sexual assault. To skip, flip to the bottom of page 12** Hello Black & Pink Family! My name is Niki Zap, I use she, her pronouns, and have served as Black & Pink National’s Executive Assistant since March 2020. There are a lot of ways to describe me; I’m a fat, white, cisish, queer woman who acquired a chronic pain condition at 30 and uses a wheelchair. I was born & raised in Omaha, and currently practice Nichiren Buddhism with the Soka Gakkai International. I’ve been advocating for LGBTQIA+ people and rights since I was 16. I’m a total Trekkie, especially The Next Generation. And I LOVE babies and children. So much so that my friends who are parents send me photos and videos of their kids regularly, and students I worked with brought me their baby siblings to hold while they studied. Being around children is healing for me-crying, bratty, dirty diapered, doesn’t matter. I love them. And so, when I was beginning to learn about abolition, it was easy for me to have compassion
for those who were incarcerated because of drugs, theft, or assault. In my mind, though, there was a big line when it came to anyone who harmed children. It was such a huge line that I wouldn’t even consider kindness or empathy toward perpetrators. In fact, I recall saying some really awful things about people who harmed children to my friends. In 2010, I found out a very close loved one (let’s call them Alex) was in legal trouble, but no one seemed to know why. Alex is a few years younger than me and I’ve known them since they were born. Growing up, Alex was so funny and would talk to anyone -- we were always laughing. Toward the end of high school, we all noticed Alex’s mood and behavior change. Alex skipped a grade and was in all upper level classes until their junior year when they were skipping class to get high every day and barely passing. I could tell they were depressed and remember having several conversations with Alex about their depression and getting help, but I don’t think they ever did. After hearing some whispered rumors about their legal issues in 2010, I got a phone call from Alex. I could tell Alex was nervous as they shared that they had been arrested, charged, and convicted of being in possession
of child pornography. I was shocked. I continued to listen. And I found myself saying, “I need you to know I still love you.” And, I meant it. I really meant it. That changed everything for me. My compassion and empathy grew. I love someone who did something I used to think only monsters did. Alex isn’t a monster. The more we talked over the years, Alex shared that they had been sexually harmed as a child. Alex was a victim and a survivor, too. There was a program in their state for those who were found guilty of sexual crimes with treatment instead of incarceration. Alex was mandated to go to group and individual therapy multiple times per week, and through that process they were able to find some healing. Why doesn’t everyone get that opportunity? In the Netherlands, focus on all offenses, even sexual offenses, is about treatment not punishment. Maximum prison sentences are much shorter than in the U.S. and are rarely given. However, their treatment programs are some of the longest in the world, sometimes ten years or longer. Alex shared with me that one of the reasons they didn’t get help on their own was because they felt so much shame. Shame
Page 12
APRIL/MAY 2021
Black & Pink News
around the harm caused to them, shame about their own behavior, and they didn’t think anyone could understand. They were afraid of the judgment from others. What if we could get rid of that shame and stigma so that people are more willing to reach out for help? What if there were resources that had nothing to do with the punishment system? How much harm could be
stopped before it happened? How many people could heal?
what abolition is all about.
Of course, I hold empathy and compassion in my heart for all those who have been sexually assaulted, especially as children. Now, that empathy and compassion has grown to include those who have perpetrated that harm. I want everyone to have the chance to heal so the cycles can be stopped. And, I believe that’s
Healing Through Sexual Assault Prevention By Micaela Stevenson of Advocates for Youth I was sitting in a room talking about sexual assault prevention with a group of fraternity brothers early in the spring of 2016. It was a wet day, so I remember wearing jeans and a T-shirt. I had to discuss sexual assault prevention and statistics—one of my favorite things to do. I stood there, a 5’2” Black woman, face bare of makeup and feeling confident, yet completely terrified as the room filled with middle and upper class young white men on my campus. I looked at the room of nearly 50 white men as I stood alone in it and it dawned on me that in front of me, I was likely looking at at least 5 serial rapists and no one may ever even know about it. I remember that when it came time to take questions and concerns, a young man started to bombard me with questions that were quite overly specific in detail. “What if her eyes are
closed? What if she doesn’t like to talk during sex? What if we were both drinking?” were some of the questions he decided to ask me. One by one, I provided some guidance, but at the end when he remained unsatisfied with my responses, I replied, “If you’re this unsure about this, it might be best for you to stop having sex until it’s more clear.” And as his questions poured over me, I felt my skin become cold and clammy and my heart race a little bit. Despite my tongue-in-cheek response, I remember thinking to myself, “Is this how my rapist thinks about himself and justifications for his actions? And who else isn’t going to be safe?” Advocacy brings with itself the joy of doing the good work and the sorrow of re-experiencing our own trauma, sometimes with every act we do. The incessant pictures of violence that frankly are painted on the back of my
eyelids that are there to be with me when I go to sleep at night. The looming fear that the world is a dangerous place from which we all need to be protected. Sexual trauma often drives activism, even if activism increases our risk of being re-traumatized through reexposure to violence that we may not have fully processed. But this sexual trauma that we have experienced should not just drive us to activism, but drive us to reach for personal peace. As I remark upon my own experience in teaching as well as experiencing sexual violence, I think about what was really stolen from me: the inherent feeling of safety. And what is more defiant of my assailant and radical than not only educating and preventing sexual assault, but healing myself completely?
Volume 12, Issue 2
blackandpink.org
Dear Mx Zephy,
Hey Mx Zephy!
What is Mx? How do you pronounce it?
How would you interact with a trans person who’s offended by your interest in their experiences as a trans person? Everyone, including trans people, are their own and have unique lives and personalities. But are trans people trying to pretend away the truth that their transition itself is the thing most unusual to others?
-Mxing it Up
Salutations Mxing it Up! This is a fantastic question and I am excited to answer it for y’all. Mx is a gender free honorific title that is similar to Mr., Miss, Mrs., or Ms. You can use it to refer to someone without making assumptions about their gender identity. Mx is pronounced like “mix,” as in We decided to mix it up a little today by going for a hike instead of going to the beach. Much love, Mx Zephy
With love and silent ears, Just Another Brick in the Wall
Heyo Just Another Brick in the Wall, Disclaimer *** I will be serving up some tough love today and wish to drop a warning. We often misinterpret words on a page, because there is no body language or other cues to provide more context for emotional states. I write this response with love and a sprinkle of sass. Understand that I am aware that having the emotional space and energy to unpack this with y’all is a privilege. Some people don’t hold that privilege, and that’s okay. While I am comfortable
Page 13
responding to this question, it doesn’t mean that people should ask trans people nor that trans people are required to answer them. *** Disclaimer There were quite a few thoughts going through my head while reading your letter, Just Another Brick. I had to take a moment and sit with this, because I found myself feeling annoyed and frustrated. I reread it a few times to ensure I really understood the message. What I feel called to unpack here is intent versus impact. While I believe the intent of your interaction with the trans person that led you to ask this question was along the lines of, “I don’t understand transness, but I would like to be an ally and stand in solidarity,” the impact was much different. What I received as the impact was a demand to answer questions because they, as a trans person, are the expert on gender. Demanding that trans people must explain their bodies and lived experiences feels unfair and disrespectful to me. Yes, we are the experts. Yes, it is our lived experience. Yes, we are all
Page 14
pioneering new ways of being. However, just because we are the experts doesn’t mean that we must speak on it. Some of us willingly detail our lived experiences, others reluctantly so, and some not at all. It is our choice whether or not we wish to disclose information about our trans lived experience. Many of us are emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted from fielding near constant questions and expectations that we must share what we know. We don’t have to answer anyone’s questions or rise to meet anyone’s expectations about how we should move and show up in the world. We do not exist to be labor for anyone’s curiosity. Transness exists outside the expectations and curiosities placed on us by a world that frankly doesn’t want us to exist in it anyways. I hold that your curiosity is a valid feeling, acting on it isn’t always an appropriate response though. I will not police your curiosity about trans people’s transition, but please understand that you also do not have a right to information about their gender, their body, or their anatomy. That is their choice to disclose what feels safe for them. Also consider that this person is incarcerated so it may not be safe to talk about it, especially with someone they do not know. Trans people face an extraordinarily high level of risk for sexual and physical violence on the inside. Not only that, but
APRIL/MAY 2021
Black & Pink News
trans people also face stares and jeers from correctional staff and other people housed with them. Further, they are either housed in solitary confinement or in cell blocks that don’t match their gender. With all this background information, I am not surprised by the distrust and anger on display. Their very lives are at stake. Asking trans people to talk about anything while dropping their transition in the conversation, of course, will cause an unpleasant reaction. It signals that you are only interested in talking to them because they identify as trans. Further, just like you don’t owe anyone an explanation on your personal life, they don’t either. Personal health information is just that, personal. Do you ask everyone you meet about their gender, their body, or their anatomy? That right to privacy doesn’t evaporate just because someone identifies as trans. Think about it like this. How might you feel if a stranger approached you and asked about your conviction and time spent during incarceration? It probably wouldn’t feel all that great and might even feel invasive. Instead of building a friendship based on their trans identity, try building a friendship centered on y’alls shared humanity. Trust is earned, not given. This is another human being you are interacting with. Trans people are not demanding anything of people, other than a recognition that we are human beings deserving of respect, dignity, care, and worth. Try to consider what information is needed at varying stages in the friendship, and whether
or not it centers the other person’s dignity and humanity. This might be difficult given incarceration, but where can you seek out resources on the lived experiences of trans people? This column is a start. I will leave you with a few questions to ponder. Perhaps other people reading this column want to explore this as well. What about a trans person makes me feel uncomfortable? What about trans people intrigues me? Is this something I would ask everybody? Where can I learn about trans experiences, instead of asking trans people to disclose their personal information? In what ways can I support trans people on my block? How can I cultivate a friendship that is not based on someone’s transness, but as a human being deserving of connection? How might I practice empathy for what trans people might be experiencing? Also, note any feelings or sensations that arise when thinking about these questions. Hold that any feelings or sensations are valid and that they will key you in to your gut response. It may be something worth exploring . In gratitude, Mx Zephy
Volume 12, Issue 2
Page 15
blackandpink.org
Pastor Darryl Brown, Jr. will be writing a column in each upcoming issue of Black & Pink News. Darryl will be using this space to help build up our readers with discussions of religion, spirituality, the system and transformation
I am not certain which is more shocking, the number of people that do not find sexual violence to be a matter of great concern/ prevalence or the number of people that have experienced sexual violence.
stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 29% of straight men. 40% of gay men and 47% of bisexual men have experienced sexual violence other than rape, compared to 21% of straight men.
While both are alarming, this article is to discuss the latter of these two. Per the CDC, more than 1 in 3 women experiences sexual violence involving physical contact during her lifetime. That number is nearly 1 in 4 for men.
We would be remiss if we did not uplift stats gathered concerning our beloved transgender community as they experience the most alarming rates of sexual violence. The 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey found that 47% of transgender people are sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetime with those numbers only increasing for transgender people of color. Sexual violence is of epidemic proportion. There is a very high likelihood of sexual violence happening to particular populations.
These numbers are even more jaw-dropping when looked at through the lens of the LGBTQ+ community. The CDC reports that 44% of lesbians and 61% of bisexual women experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 35% of straight women. 26% of gay men and 37% of bisexual men experience rape, physical violence, or
It behooves us as a community to address this violence from a multitude of angles. Prevention
work is necessary and among other things, healing work is necessary. Sexual violence can have psychological, emotional, and physical effects on anyone that survives said violence. If this unfortunate act of violence is a part of your lived experience, you can attest to the truth of these effects. They can include, but are not limited to depression, flashbacks, posttraumatic stress disorder, selfharm, sexually transmitted infections, substance abuse, dissociation, panic attacks, eating disorders, pregnancy, sleep disorders, and even suicide. The truth of the matter is that none of us are desirous of these effects of sexual violence. They can rob us of abundant living and chip away at our joy, both things that are intended and attainable for our lives. Our
Page 16
commitment to abundance and joy-centered lives requires healing, healing that can be accomplished via spirituality. Spirituality is an awareness and practice that can be utilized to heal our wounds and cease the ability of effects from sexual violence to impact our ability to live our best lives. Healing work is likened to building a stable, beautiful building. The work begins at the foundation. There are foundational bricks that I propose by experience to be used to build up the best version of you. The first divine brick is imagination. The process of healing requires some degree of imagination whereby we envision what we desire, who we desire to be, and how we intend to show up in the world. It is important to envision the best version of ourselves. In addition to imagination, healing requires the divine brick of acknowledgment. It is a healing measure to address the truth of what happened to us, to be honest about the harm it caused, and to allow ourselves to sit in whatever that acknowledgment evokes. One of the lies we tell ourselves is that if we allow ourselves to “go there”, we may completely crumble beyond repair. That simply is not true. We cannot conquer what we will not confront. An additional divine brick in the
Black & Pink News
foundation of healing is the act of addressing the responsible party(ies). This can be complex. It is possible that other parties may not want to meet or talk. It is possible that you have created a boundary for yourself that you will not have any dealings with the person(s) that caused you harm. In such cases, an opportunity for symbolic accountability conversations arise. Another person, a picture, or an object representing the party(ies) may be utilized to express yourself, to share the harm you experienced. This step brings one closer to a sense of release and relief. Another divine brick highly suggested in the foundation of healing is asking for what you need. This can be difficult for some of us because we are not accustomed to exercising this level of power. Perhaps the sexual harm we experienced robbed us of that power. Asking for what we need autonomously places us back in a position of power where we ask for the supports, boundaries, etc. that we need. That power belongs to you and you owe it to yourself. Let us pause to take a deep breath. Your foundation work may seem daunting. It will take time. Give yourself grace. Be kind to yourself on this journey. Another divine brick is release. Release looks different for different people. For some, it
APRIL/MAY 2021
looks like a form of forgiveness. Forgiveness is an act of release that stops the allowance of an offender to live in our hearts, minds, spirits causing ongoing harm. Forgiveness isn’t simply about the offender, but rather about the offended, the harmed. It is a potential form of release. Beyond release, we must apply the divine healing brick of reminders. We need reminders, not of the harm caused, but of our vision. We need to be continuously awakened to the imagined version of ourselves and our lives. That may look like written affirmations or journal entries that we re-read to keep us on track. It is easy to slip into a norm of functionality that was not/is not healthy for us. We must be reminded of what we imagined as the best life! It is a lot. It takes work. But it is you we are talking about! You are worth the investment into yourself. Take the time. Do the work. It is divine work that is divinely supported by people you know and do not know cheering you on. The world is that much better with the best version of you in existence. Your joy is abundant when you are flowing as your best self. Sexual violence hurts, but spirituality can heal.
Volume 12, Issue 2
Page 17
blackandpink.org
Lessons in Listening & Presence as Survivor By Jada Grisson of Advocates for Youth There is a Maya Angelou quote that states: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” You may have seen this statement circulated around social media, courtesy of an Instagram post featuring a passive aggressive caption or as a subtweet. For me, those words for a while meant having to come to terms with the unkindness of others or even knowing when to walk away when someone is causing you harm –– and maybe that’s (an important) part of what she meant. But I don’t think that’s the full picture. Recently, I have
taken on a new perspective when sitting with these words and their meaning. I understand now that there’s a nuance to them that can’t quite be captured on an Instagram infographic, but only in our relationships with others. I am of the belief now that what may also be captured in these words is the difficult, necessary, and life-affirming labor of bearing witness. This means engaging in the non-negotiable emotional work of accepting someone’s truth as they present it to us without challenging their experiences or feeling the need
to redefine their pain on our terms. I reflect on these words now as an invitation to sit with the truths of the people I love without imposing my own reality or expectations. I love people that have been harmed by sexual harassment and violence; in a social landscape that has been marred by rape culture everyone does. This Sexual Assault Awareness Month (and every month) I am sitting with this statement in a renewed light and framing it as a catalyst to challenge myself and all those who seek to be allied with survivors.
art by Ebony C. (MO)
Page 18
APRIL/MAY 2021
Black & Pink News
On Sexual Harm and The Myth of Carceral Rehabilitation A Conversation with Dominique Morgan and Zephyr Williams
Interviewer: The first thing people always ask when we talk about abolition is, “What will we do with people who cause sexual harm?” What is the problem with that view? And what are some different ways to approach it? Zephyr Williams (ZW): My question is, what are we doing with people who cause sexual harm now? One of them just left the fucking White House after living there for four years. It’s more about privilege and power. This is a conversation that’s rooted in privilege and power, who has it? Who doesn’t have it? And how do we navigate this? Dominique Morgan (DM): I completely agree with Zeph. At one of the prisons I was housed at, they have an entire housing unit that they call the sex offense unit. And it’s not prison slang. That’s what the building is called. And I remember really believing that these guys were receiving programming that was helping them. In my mind, people who had been arrested and incarcerated under sex crimes needed to be basically desexualized. And if they didn’t navigate like that, they weren’t really trying to be rehabilitated.
So like, not only is that how the system tries to put that on people who are in the system due to engaging in sexual harm in our community, people who are incarcerated with them believe that, the system truly believes that shit. So like, even when you got people saying, “Yo, this doesn’t work for me,” the system is saying, “Oh, no, it’s not that it doesn’t work. You just don’t want to be better. “ And it doesn’t allow us to really analyze and think about, like, how are we showing up for our community? And really loving them no matter what behavior they’ve engaged in. ZW: I think that the way that we talk about people who have committed sex crimes and people who are convicted of sex crimes. I think there’s a difference between committed and convicted too. Because sometimes we don’t know the whole fuckin situations, they may have been falsely accused, some other shit may have happened. The definition of sex offense is really broad and loosely applied. I think that when we’re zooming out, we really can see that language is limited. Our language to describe, identify, talk about sex offenses, sex offense crimes,
crimes, convictions, all the nuances that are involved in you know, sex crimes, our language is limited, it’s sensationalized. And then the last piece is really rooted in a social context, but with legal consequences. And so by that, I mean, that when we’re talking about like sex offenses, with people who commit sex offenses, we were taught that they’re bad or they’re terrible people or they’re evil people. But it’s really taking, it’s really situating a person in a specific amount of time, but not understanding that, okay, where is their sex education on this, were they taught about consent, were they taught about boundaries? But then when we go to convict, we realize that the social context now has legal ramifications, which means that we’re now taking something that is a, you know, a mental health crisis, or relational crisis, or just a social crisis in general and saying, you know, we’re gonna fix this by just throwing you away, not actually fucking talking about it. We are not taking the time to unpack and understand and situate what exactly does a sex crime actually mean, who are the people in the middle of all
Volume 12, Issue 2
this? What is the harm that’s been caused? And has there been accountability taken for all this? And then how do we transform it and transform our language and transform our understanding of sexual harm? Interviewer: Jumping off of that, how are people who are incarcerated for “sex crimes” treated within the PIC? And then what is their “treatment?” Is there rehabilitation? ZW: What does rehabilitation even mean in a culture, in a society, whose first response is to punish first and ask questions later. As a society, we struggle with having honest, engaging, and thoughtful conversations on how to prevent and respond to harmful behavior. Punishment is a first response and not a last resort. Where is the corrective action where the person can come to understand the harm they caused and its impact? And even then, I mean, one of the ways that we see this played out is that the people who are convicted of sex crimes, in jails, prisons, you know, detention centers, wherever the fuck they’re incarcerated, the way that we see this is they don’t talk about their crimes, because the moment they talk about their crimes, they have a target on their back, which means that they’re more subject to violence. They’re at a higher risk for violence. They’re at a higher risk of sanctions from COs because they’re like, Oh, well, you know, we’re gonna give you a PREA violation because we can. It’s that there’s a lot of
blackandpink.org
like, ingrained stereotypes that say, you know, what, you’re not deserving of treatment. You’re not deserving of rehabilitation because you’ve done something so heinous, that I can’t wrap my head around it. Alright. Well, now you’ve effectively dehumanized people. DM: To add on, they’re treated terribly. And I think, that that’s the irony of, like, being a person who has experienced what it takes for me to feel like, I deserve opportunity. I deserve love. I didn’t get that aha in my body first, somebody else gave me that realization and that push forward. And I think a lot of people’s first inclination that they matter comes from outside of their body. So I think it’s ironic as hell for us to look at individuals who are in the PIC, due to engaging in sexual harm or perceived sexual harm that are told by everyone, they don’t matter and that there’s nothing good about them. Right? How are they going to just magically become life changing citizens? People meet the expectations you give them. In thinking back to what I heard in prison, thinking back to what I hear every day in our community. You know, here in Omaha, it was maybe last year, where they hunted that guy down on the registry and shot and killed him.1 We don’t believe there’s opportunity for 1. Mattieo Condoluci was murdered in his home in 2020. The person who shot Condoluci located him by using the Nebraska sex offense registry.
Page 19
restoration or transformation for people who inflict sexual harm. So why should (those who have caused harm) believe it? Why should they? Why should they believe something that the community doesn’t really believe? Community doesn’t really give them the resources to do, community doesn’t really love them through it, right? And at the end of the day, the community doesn’t do the work to recognize that we also lean on this approach to have another way to feel better about ourselves. Right? To keep a population of people in a space where they’re always going to be bad. They’re always going to be disgusting, or what have you. And the other thing I will say is, my prison experience had its hard times. but what really kept me afloat was community inside. And people who are incarcerated due to sexual harm usually don’t have access to community unless they are being sexually harmed in the facility. So the guys I knew who were inside, who had maybe guys around them hanging out, or friends, those guys were raping him every day, you know what I’m saying? The very thing that we are ostracizing them for, were the only ways that they would have community on the inside. ZW: And you know, Dom, I love this. I think what we’re really getting at is, it comes down to redemption. And for me, I’m really seeing it as: redemption, for me is really believing and seeing the best in people while
Page 20
also holding kind of like the both/and of accountability and responsibility for the actions and the harm that’s caused. And it’s like, I guess the question I’m asking is like, where is their light in the midst of all their shadow? If you refuse to see the spark of light that they have, are you really allowing a path for redemption to be cultivated? It leaves me wondering, you know, are you looking for possibility or are you looking for certainty? And if so, what are you valuing? Are you valuing that perhaps they’re not the worst thing that they’ve ever done? Maybe there is something more to them? Or are you just saying you know what, fuck it, cut them out? We’re done, you caused harm. That’s it, I’m done. Like, that’s my certainty. And speaking of that community, what do you value? Do you really want to see communities transformed? Or do you want to keep the status quo the way we’ve always done things? And if you cannot invite in that possibility for redemption, what the fuck are you really doing in the first place? Why are you here? DM: Because I think that whole thing about rehabilitation, what I believe we should be saying, when I think about how I try to lead our work here is, I’m not trying to rehabilitate you. I’m trying to show you and demonstrate to you how I live
Black & Pink News
my life and hope that you see something in how I live my life that you want to adapt to yours, and then make it yours. None of us are 100% of anything. And how dare any of us put that on someone else. And one of the saddest things I believe happens in our world is when our definition of someone else becomes their definition of them. And then we get upset. And then we get outraged because they’ve adapted to the definition we gave them. Ain’t that some shit? ZW: But you’re only really giving them the reigns as far as so much as you want them to have the reigns. And you’re right. And here’s the container, you can fill this up, you cannot go outside this container. Because if you do, that means there’s something wrong with you. Even though I’ve asked for your redemption, you fill this container, that’s all you get. There’s a sense of control there. You’re really not allowing people to see the totality of themselves, you’re not really allowing yourself to see the humanity that’s at the core of the person because all you can see is this specific moment in time. Let’s face it, the statistics say that the people who are actually on sex offense registries, they’ve committed a sex offense that one and only one time. The reason why you see them on
APRIL/MAY 2021
there multiple times is, most of the time, because of a failure to register charge. This might be as simple as forgetting to update their fucking driver’s license or to say, oh, I forgot to add my school because my school needed to be registered. And what happens is 95% of the people who “recidivate” is because of a fucking failure to register charge. And it is super easy to failure to register. Because if you think about it, when you look at every state in the United States, they all have their own different rules, deadlines and restrictions for when somebody must register, how quickly they must register, what they must register, the identifying features that must be registered, whether or not they have to pay and if you can’t afford it, then you can’t register and it just becomes a whole clusterfuck because there’s so many different rules and regulations for all this. And so again, it comes down I think to this path of redemption that we’re talking about it also comes down to recognizing somebody’s humanity and really allowing people to see the potential for what we can do better and how we can do better.
Volume 12, Issue 2
blackandpink.org
Page 21
A Self Care Break: Take Some Time To Check In With Yourself And Breathe These activities are adapted from a list shared by our friends at Project LETS
Grounding Techniques Grounding is a technique that helps keep someone in the present. They help reorient a person to the here-and-now and in reality. Grounding skills can be helpful in a variety of situations: with dissociation symptoms; and managing overwhelming feelings or intense anxiety. They help someone to regain their mental focus from an often intensely emotional state. These are good resources to use if you are feeling very overwhelmed or panicky.
throughout your body.
• If you are sitting, stand. If
• • •
• •
• Stomp your feet to remind
•
• •
•
yourself you are present and safe in your body. Press your feet firmly into the ground. Concentrate on your breathing. Take a deep, cleansing breath from your diaphragm. Count the breaths as you exhale. Make sure you breathe slowly so you don’t hyperventilate. Cross your legs and arms. Feel the sensations of you controlling your body. If possible, find a friend and ask them to talk to you about something nice you have recently done together. Find your pulse on your wrist and count the beats per minute. Concentrate on feeling the blood pulse
•
• •
you are standing, sit. Pay attention to the movement change. Reminding yourself, you are in control of these actions. Rub your palms and clap your hands. Listen to the sounds. Feel the sensation. Speak out loud. Hold something that you find comforting. For some it may be a picture of a loved one or blanket. Notice how it feels in your hands. Eat something. How does it taste? Sweet or sour? Is it warm or cold? Visualize a bright red STOP sign, to help you stop the flashback and/or memory. During a non-crisis time make a list of positive affirmations. Print them out and keep them handy for when you are having a flashback. Read the list out loud. Write in your journal. Meditate, if you are comfortable doing it.
A few more sensory awareness exercises to try: Begin by tracing your hand on a piece of paper and label each finger as one of the five senses. Then take each finger and identify something special and safe representing each of those
five senses. For example: Thumb represents sight and a label for sight might be butterflies or my middle finger represents the smell sense and it could be represented by lilacs. It does not have to be something currently around you. After writing and drawing all this on paper, post it in a safe place where it could be easily seen and memorized by you. Whenever you get triggered, breathe deeply and slowly, and put your hand in front of your face where you can really see it – stare at your hand and then look at each finger and try to do the five senses exercise from memory. Here’s the 54321 “game”. • Name 5 things you can see in the room with you. • Name 4 things you can feel (“chair on my back” or “feet on floor”) • Name 3 things you can hear right now (“water running nearby” or “a conversation”) • Name 2 things you can smell right now (or, 2 things you like the smell of • Name 1 good thing about yourself
Page 22
APRIL/MAY 2021
Black & Pink News
Unlocking a Braver Space By Zephyr Williams, Deputy Director of Strategy and Organizing We all dream of co-existing in an equitable world devoid of harm and conflict with our dignity intact, right? For me, it’s a dream of an abolitionist future with affirming care, supportive community, and access to a life well loved. This dream is ambitious, requiring us to thoughtfully examine oppression, race, and privilege and our role in it. These social issues impact everyone and, as such, an abolitionist future cannot be fully realized alone. We need mutuality with other people to help navigate challenges, spend time with, share in joy with, and experience all that life has to offer. Difficult conversations are likely to happen that will challenge our understanding of how we engage in this people work as a community. These conversations are a natural and expected outcome. Often, however, holding certain identities, like race, gender, or sexuality, in certain spaces feels uncomfortable or unsafe. There is a lot of risk involved in speaking truth to lived experiences. With this understanding then, it’s important to facilitate these difficult conversations in braver spaces. These spaces are places where people feel free to express themselves and fully participate in community. Everyone deserves a braver
space to share their needs, affirm their boundaries, and empower their voice without being exposed to harm and is protected if safety is not met. We must be accountable to each other and to ourselves because sitting with oppression, race, and privilege and our role in it is uncomfortable. We must be responsible for how we relate to one another, advocate for one another, and hold and wield our power and privilege. Unlocking braver spaces means nothing if it’s not an embodied practice we all commit to. The question then becomes, how is a braver space unlocked?
Keys to Braver Space Art of the Pause The art of the pause asks us to notice when we are triggered by a comment or a behavior. What sensation is it eliciting in my body? It’s a quick scan of the body. Is there sweating? Cheeks flushed? Throat constricted? Body tense? Then, asking what feeling is attached to this sensation. Feelings are literally things we feel in our body. They tell us something about ourselves and our situation. Feelings allow us to experience the fullness of connection, engagement, and existence. How beautiful is that? Also, how scary?
Sometimes those feelings may elicit an unpleasant fullness of vulnerability, shame, and fear. We may find it hard to accept what we feel or even judging ourselves harshly for experiencing them. Press pause on these expectations and just notice your feelings. How often do you allow yourself to experience this fullness? Your feelings are always valid, but are they true? Just identifying the feeling greatly diminishes its potency. It allows you to investigate the trigger and then decide on an appropriate response. Feeling uncomfortable is not the same as feeling unsafe. Conflict is not abuse. Yes, you can identify and name feelings; but notice if you are reacting or responding to the feeling. Is it in service of growth and an acknowledgment of the person you are in communication with? Pausing, noticing, and naming feelings when triggered is not always easy work, but working towards feelings mastery allows for a deeper cultivation of relationships. It signals that you see and validate another person and are working to hold the complexities of their being. I invite you to hold: Patience to accept your feelings as they are. Resilience to not take others
Volume 12, Issue 2
feelings personally. Courage to embrace accountability for when triggers overwhelm and elicit a reaction. Grace to integrate patience, resilience, and courage in the presence of your feelings. Invoking Presence Invoking presence is practicing pause and then cultivating awareness for the present moment by reflecting on where your attention is directed. Right here, right now are you engaged? It’s much easier to not be present when the entirety of our sense of self-worth is tied to how much we do. Being then becomes anxiety over bills, stress over relationships, worry over not being “good” or “smart” enough, and on and on. We become married to the past and future and divorced from the present. Ask yourself: as your physical body goes about its day, is your emotional body keeping up? Now is when to practice the art of the pause. Notice how feelings are showing up in your body. Are you stressed and anxious about a situation and finding yourself a bit absent minded? Is your headspace calm, relaxed, and free of thoughts? Seek that calm and relaxed headspace as often as you can. Without distractions you are more free to direct your attention to the present moment. Practice invoking presence by noticing the softness, color, or texture of
blackandpink.org
your clothing. Direct your attention to any sounds you may hear whether it’s the lull of conversation, the chirping of birds outside, or chairs scraping across the floor. Focus your taste buds on your morning coffee or afternoon peanut butter and jelly.
Page 23
pleasant or unpleasant. Curiosity for exploring mindfulness practices that foster renewed presence. Grace to integrate acceptance, openness, and curiosity in the
Take a moment to capture presence and relish in your senses. Practicing invoking presence will go far towards allowing yourself to direct your full attention in braver spaces. This helps to allow other people to feel seen and heard when expressing their needs and wants. I invite you to seek: Acceptance for what was and what is. Openness to experience whoever or whatever emerges in the moment, no matter if it’s
art by Ashley M. (CA)
Page 24
presence of others. Acknowledging Privilege Naming privilege is recognizing that certain identities carry certain built-in advantages within their lived experience. It’s not to say that privilege is not just something that makes your life easier, but that it also doesn’t make your life harder. Sometimes it may not even feel like an advantage, which is where recognizing privilege becomes difficult. Oppression, whether racism, transphobia, queerphobia, misogyny, ableism, etc.; is more than a failure to acknowledge privilege. It is a systemic preservation of the status quo by means of privilege, erasure, and inaccessibility by the dominant able-bodied white cisheteronormative patriarchy. Braver community spaces that represent a diversity of bodies and voices, especially Black and brown trans and queer identies, are needed so people are able to share their lived experience freely and without the shadow of oppression.
Black & Pink News
The only way to create these community spaces is through identifying and naming our privileges. Like it or not, each of us hold certain privileges. It could be anything from race, class, gender, sexuality, or ability. Each of these things shapes how we move in the world and how we relate to one another. The more we name and understand our privileges and lack of privileges, the more we can challenge and change the status quo and dismantle systems of oppression. Acknowledging privilege is a careful evaluation of power. Where does your privilege lend you power in a certain situation? Can you move aside in some conversations or leadership positions and extend your power to others? Are you ready to allow others to take initiative in discussing the problem and it’s possible solutions? It’s about perspective and whether or not someone is ready to shift theirs to uplift, support, and affirm someone else’s. I invite you to extend: Compassion for the impact of oppression on others lived
APRIL/MAY 2021
experiences. Understanding for the time to unlearn privileged behaviors and actions. Gratitude when privilege is challenged and gifted a renewed perspective. Grace to integrate compassion, understanding, and gratitude in the presence of your privilege. Mindful Communication Everyone will experience challenges with mindful communication in relationships. Someone may say something that violates our boundaries. Invite in courage to share when something triggers a strong reaction, but also be open to conversation. Again, your feelings are valid. Now is when to practice the art of the pause. Communicate mindfully by not responding to anger or contempt with the same energy. (continued on page 31)
art by Anthony P. (TX)
Volume 12, Issue 2
Page 25
blackandpink.org
Black and Pink Information Form MAIL TO BLACK AND PINK: 6223 MAPLE ST. #4600 OMAHA, NE 68104
If you have not done so in the past 12 months (to reduce mail so we can respond faster), please send this form back.
By submitting this form, you will subscribe to the Black & Pink National PenPal Program and/or Newsletter Program. Please do not subscribe if you do not understand and agree to all of the following statements. These requests are handled through the mail and processed by a small staff at Black & Pink National. Both the postal service and carceral facility mail processing take a long time. Because of this, it could take up to 6-12 months to be removed from either of our programs. We appreciate your understanding and patience. Please consider this before signing up if you feel it may endanger you or cause inconvenience. If you need immediate assistance, please reach out (or have someone outside reach out) to community@blackandpink.org. If you are signing up on behalf of an incarcerated person, please inform them of the above and discuss it with them before signing them up. I give Black and Pink permission to share this info on the Internet on my behalf. I understand anyone who uses the Internet can find the *starred information.
Signature (sign & date)
INFO *Preferred Name: *Committed Name: Address: DOC ID #:
*Pronoun she | he | they | ze | other:
Please ☑check the kinds of correspondence you are interested in • Having a friendship
Having a romance
No newspaper (doesn’t have an envelope; not discreet)
• Writing about social
Writing sexy or erotic letters
No holiday cards
justice or activism Possible resources:
Erotica publication
Religious zine
*Do you need someone who will be discreet in letters / not out yet?
Yes
No
*Do you need someone to write printed or typed letters to you?
Yes
No
Please provide this optional information, if you would like. This info makes people more likely to write! *Your age and birth date:
*Your race / ethnicity:
*Your gender:
*Your sexuality:
*Your faith (if any):
*Non-English Languages?
*Release expected? Date?
In solitary? Until?
How many people outside of your family write you? Any other restrictions? Most prisons do not allow nude or Polaroid photos, crayons, glitter, etc. What attributes, interests, or qualities would you like your PP to have?
Page 26
Black & Pink News
APRIL/MAY 2021
*Tell us about yourself (your background, hobbies, interests, beliefs, talents, etc.) and who you are hoping to talk to
Outside members have told us they are more likely to write to people who provide information here, so please write at least one sentence about yourself! Use about 30 words/1 short paragraph/5 sentences Outside members respond most often to people whose profiles: use positive words to describe themselves say that they are looking for friendship say who they are interested in writing, or if they are open to writing anyone/will respond to all. Reminders: Re read what you wrote to make sure what you say is clear. Use more paper if needed. Use your best handwriting
Anything else you want Black and Pink to know (not on website):
PLEASE NOTE: We cannot respond to letters asking if we got your message. It takes up to six months to enter a letter into our system. You will know that your form has been processed when you start receiving the newspaper. Unfortunately, we cannot guarantee you will get a pen pal, and we do not send out pen pal lists. Some prisons block our newspaper, especially FL. Please spread the word!
Volume 12, Issue 2
(continued from page 28) Otherwise, what is likely to occur is the exact opposite of a braver space, -emotional distance, conflict, and a mutual withdrawal from the conversation. Instead, can you move from a space of reacting to your feelings to one of responding? Now is when to practice invoking presence and welcome multiple viewpoints. How can you respond in this situation in a way that doesn’t push people away? Move towards accepting that we’re all trying and sometimes we make mistakes. Mindful communication in braver spaces begins by listening without an agenda. Really listen to what people are communicating. Demonstrate to others a welcoming spirit that prioritizes their wellbeing. Try to not approach the communication as a problem to solve, but as an opportunity to experience connection. Ask questions to understand the sources of disagreements. Speak from your own experience by using “I statements,” where the focus of conflict or harm is shifted to impact rather than blame. Braver spaces are not intended to silence anyone; they’re spaces to allow everyone to equitably share their lived experiences. Draw up some community agreements to create some boundaries around communication. Create these community agreements with
blackandpink.org
the understanding that they are not rules to be broken, but a collective vision of how to engage in the space. Share these agreements at the beginning of any shared space and anytime a new person has joined. Ensure everyone understands what each agreement means. Consistently adhering to your community agreements will help everyone feel comfortable to share their needs, affirm their boundaries, and empower their voice. I invite you to practice: Active listening by paying mindful attention to what and how people are communicating. Respect for other people’s lived experiences and feelings by assuming accountability for the impact of your communication. Intentional release by allowing other people to choose their own adventure of support, affirmation, or guidance and by not seeking to fix problems. Grace to integrate active listening, respect, and intentional release in the presence of communication. Unlocking Space These keys are not something that we can magick into being with just one practice. Every space is different and may require some experimentation to figure out what a braver space means. Creating a braver space is complex and it will evolve and grow as we develop in relationships to ourselves and others. Reflect upon each key to understand how you are showing up, in whatever situation you may be
Page 27
experiencing, so that you can create space for possibility. For example, say there is a verbal disagreement with another person that doesn’t include a threat of physical harm. Gift yourself a moment to breathe. Then, ask yourself: Am I present? Are my feelings about the situation at hand allowing me to react or respond? What privilege(s) do I bring to the situation? Have I already made up my mind about this situation or maybe an alternative possibility exists? How can I practice mindful communication here? Be honest with yourself in your responses. Know that even if you put in the work to unlock space, someone else may choose to not engage. It’s bound to happen, so permit yourself grace. People are complex beings, and we are all on our own journeys of failing, learning, and growing. We are all just trying to survive in a world that strives to limit our capacity for thrival. By creating space, however, you are providing a glimpse into the possibility for a loving and just future that recognizes the innate and diverse humanity present in each of us. Engaging in people work asks us to accept discomfort, embrace uncertainty, and disavow scarcity. How can you engage today?
Page 28
Black & Pink News
APRIL/MAY 2021
The Atlanta massacre and US anti-trafficking laws What led to the massacre was not only the killer’s misogyny and racism, but also criminal laws and policies. By Aya Gruber, originally published on AlJazeera on April 4, 2021 On March 16, the world was rocked by the worst massacre of Asians in modern American history. A white 21-year-old from the Atlanta suburbs, Robert Long, targeted Asian spas in a rampage that left one person injured and eight dead, including six Asian women.
with thousands of JapaneseAmerican citizens.
Critics rightly excoriated Long’s claim that his actions were not discriminatory because they were the product of a “sex addiction” that drove him to eliminate sexual “temptation”. Of course, a man working out his sexual issues by killing women is the apotheosis of misogyny. Targeting Asian women because they are sexual temptresses is racist.
While there is appropriate focus on the killer’s sexism and racism in this era of unprecedented anti-Asian violence, the massacre was also enabled by criminal laws and policies– including anti-trafficking laws – that also trade on stereotypical and negative views of Asian female sexuality but enjoy popular support. This moment demands a critical examination of the legal regime that made the Atlanta victims and thousands of others vulnerable to private and state violence – a regime born of 19th-century fear and loathing of immigrant Asian sex workers.
The sexualisation and fetishisation of Asian women is a well-recognised phenomenon, and one I have experienced. I have lost count of the strange men who have asked about my “exotic nationality”. In my teens, a 2 Live Crew song made it difficult to walk around without hearing the words “me so horny”. Growing up, people inquired too often whether my Japanese-American mother, who married a white man, was a “geisha” or a “war bride”. She was born in Fresno, California. At six years old, she was sent to a concentration camp along
Commentators have downplayed the sex work issue to avoid stigmatising the victims or alternatively have argued that the tragic events indicate the need for tougher anti-trafficking laws. But it is precisely the existing tough criminal and immigration law regime that relegates Asian spas to society’s dangerous margins, stigmatises Asian sex workers, and prevents them from seeking protection. In the face of this horrific event, we can no longer cling to the belief that zero-tolerance trafficking laws are the answer for Asian immigrants employed
in commercial sex work. In the US, Asian sex work has always been singled out for particular reprobation and regulation since its inception. The early legal regime reflected an American fascination with, fear of, and disgust with Asian female sexuality, as well as a paternalistic desire to “save” Asian women – by deporting them. It was expanded and formalised over decades through the efforts of not just xenophobes and racists but concerned citizens and liberal activists. In the 1870s, amid fears of “yellow peril”, media, politicians, and citizens denounced immigrant Chinese women as innately inculcated to sexual slavery, carriers of “exotic” diseases, corruptors of white men, and producers of “degenerate hybrids”. “Chinese females who immigrate into this state are, almost without exception, of the vilest and most degraded class of abandoned women,” declared a San Francisco newspaper. The American Medical Association launched a study to determine if Chinese women were poisoning the nation’s blood. These sentiments, along with
Volume 12, Issue 2
liberals’ objections to “yellow slavery”, spurred numerous anti-immigration efforts that culminated in the first federal immigration law, the 1875 Page Act, which forbid “the importation… of women for the purposes of prostitution”. Sponsor Horace Page lamented that America was China’s “cesspool” because it sent “the lowest and most depraved of her subjects” and vowed to “send the brazen harlot who openly flaunts her wickedness in the faces of our wives and daughters back to her native country”. Today, similar sex-aversion, stereotyping, and “slavery” concerns drive policy on Asian spas. Florida police, for example, focus on spas because they are, in their words, the “standard Asian model” of prostitution. In 2018, they launched an antitrafficking operation targeting Orchids of Asia spa. After a
Page 29
blackandpink.org
questionably legal investigation, police arrested a number of employees and customers, including billionaire Robert Kraft. With media buzzing, the district attorney called a press conference to boast about eradicating “evil in our midst”, only to admit months later: “There is no human trafficking that arises out of this investigation.” The state charged 25 men with misdemeanours, which were all dropped. By contrast, four Asian female Orchids employees, ranging in age from 39 to 58, were slapped with numerous prostitution and profiteering charges carrying decades in jail and had their assets frozen for forfeiture. In 2009, Rhode Island recriminalised “indoor” sex work after 20 years of permitting private commercial sex. Leading
up to the bill, community and religious leaders condemned the growing presence of Asian spas in the state capital, Providence. Past bills had failed because of liberals’ concerns over arresting women. But then feminist activists got involved and described the spas as sites of foreign sex trafficking. Korean spa workers, many using translators, pleaded with lawmakers not to pass the bill, but to no avail. Today, sex workers continue to fight for the bill’s repeal. Laws and discourses that stigmatise sex work, presume workers are enslaved, and treat Asian spas as community blights consign spa employees to a dangerous and invisible underground. We may yet learn that Long was a known problem at the spas. But what could they do? Call the police?
art by @grumplingzinho, courtesy of Justseeds
Page 30
Black & Pink News
APRIL/MAY 2021
Resources For Victims/Survivors: Taking Some More Time For Yourself We’ve collected some resources here, courtesy of FORGE, The Transgender Sexual Violence Project. While designed for trans survivors/ victims of sexual violence, they can be used by anyone <3
Volume 12, Issue 2
blackandpink.org
Page 31
Page 32
Black & Pink News
APRIL/MAY 2021
Volume 12, Issue 2
blackandpink.org
Page 33
Page 34
Black & Pink News
APRIL/MAY 2021
Volume 12, Issue 2
blackandpink.org
Page 35
Page 36
Black & Pink News
APRIL/MAY 2021
Volume 12, Issue 2
blackandpink.org
Page 37
Volume 12, Issue 2
Page 39
blackandpink.org
by Roger Peet, courtesy of JustSeeds
Page 40
Black & Pink News
APRIL/MAY 2021
Volume 12, Issue 2
Page 41
blackandpink.org
Letters from our Inside Family What’s up family? It’s a new year, it means a lot to me because sometime this decade I’m going to be released! I wanted to write to all of you because one of my goals this year is to try to begin and build on established positive, productive and meaningful relationships. Over the least year, I’ve been blessed enough to be mailed the national newsletter every month. The letters I read inspire me! I’m not any different than any of you. I know first hand that the pain and struggle are real. Hearing all of the strength, the ability to overcome, the acceptance of self! That’s real issues. All of you have made my situation, my reality, that much easier. I am bisexual, it took me way too many years to know this, to accept this, and now to embrace this. All of you are strong, beautiful individuals. Don’t let anyone try and steal your identity. It’s really good to know that none of us are alone, a lot of us are complete strangers and yet we are united in the same fight! I’ve written to the national circuit a few times just to say hello. I really want to give back some of the love I’ve gotten from all of you. It would mean so much to me to have my letter published in the hopes that someone may read it and it helps them even a little bit. Your brother, Shawn (RI)
Hello family, My name is Juicy Queen Bee, I’m a 34-year-old African American transgender woman in prison where it is a hot mess full of corruption, neglect and discrimination and a lot of mentally ill inmates who seek help but end up killing themselves because of neglect, lies, words people say here in Pennsylvania Department of Corrections AKA Department of Corruption. Mental health is considered a joke by C/Os and staff. They deny you treatment, put you in a behavior cell or a smock in the RHU DTU in a camera cell or no camera cell, only a psych, no doctor nurse come see they take you ass. I witness so many inmates say they was going to kill themselves going through hurt, pain, and no one comes. Staff say harm yourself, other inmates encourage them. When you’re feeling down, depressed lonely, wanting to kill yourself, tell people you trust. Call home. Write a letter. Get people that will up stick up, help you. Just in case staff do nothing and you do end up harming yourself, staff can’t cover up. Mental health problems aren’t a joke. Suicide isn’t a joke. Whether you like a person or not, if they come to you wanting to talk about harming themselves, help them get help. Listen. Give them reasons
why they should live. Tell them they’re loved and have a purpose to live - Juicy Queen Bee (PA)
Hello Black & Pink Family, How is everyone doing? I am doing ok, trying to get my female hormone replacement. But thyroids are slowing me down. Grr! But any way family, so this corona is doing a number on USA. I love coronas but not this one. Hope everyone’s facility is doing their part with handing out free soap and masks. Here at CCF, that’s what they are doing. Oh, good news, it took me a year and a half but I got a nice smile now. Got my grill fixed. Oh I was reading my bible and I saw two verses that are so true, Proverbs 14:30, a heart at peace gives life to the body but envy rots the bones and Proverbs 17:22, a cheerful heart is good medicine but a crushed spirit dries up bones. How true is that? We have so many haters in my facility. So sad. They don’t wanna be put down and disrespected but you go and put down us trans and gays. So sad how some people’s spirits can be so evil. Just remember this if y’all got the same problem. Don’t let them take your happiness away or crush your spirit. You’ve got an option
Page 42
Black & Pink News
APRIL/MAY 2021
Volume 12, Issue 2
blackandpink.org
Letters from our Inside Family
to wake up happy or sad. Don’t choose being sad. Don’t let people get you down. Love one another, respect each other. Shout out to the girls at CCF. Hey! God love you all. Peace yawl! -Rayven (OK)
Hello sisters and brother! My name is Frank P. and I am a proud trans woman! And I have gained the courage to come to the administration at this prison as a trans woman in the hope that they will allow me to purchase bras and panties and to have feminine products added to the canteen for purchase by any LGBTQIA+ individual who would care to buy them and set a precedence in this system for those who will follow this path in the future! I have for many many years hid behind a façade of a gay man. When in truth, I have known from the time that I had turned 13 that I was most definitely a girl on the inside. Then after I caught this crime and wound up in prison for life, I closed myself off from the world of the life inside me. But now after nearly 40 years inside, I have gained the courage to advocate for myself and all of the LGBTQIA+ community here and try to make a difference. Even if it will cost me friends or ostracize me within the prison community. Because I have
made the most difficult and life-changing decision to drop the mask and embrace my true self. I am LIINA JAMIE and I am a proud trans woman here me roar M*#@FERS! I will be heard for all who seek to live their lives as their true selves. May the Goddess bless you all and in love and solidarity my heart goes out to you all. -LIINA JAMIE (pronounced LEENA) and ye harm none as ye will!!! (WY)
Black & Pink has gave me a better understanding on life as a person to be myself, even know I have friends that are LGBTQ. I bring them closer to me because I have homies that say one thing but when shit pop off, some run. But the LGBTQ keep it trill, I like that. Luv, Rufuz (CA) Dear Black & Pink, Greetings. This may sound strange. No, it’s certainly strange. But today my transgender sister Chloe spoke to me from her death. I don’t believe much as to speaking with the dead but it happened ... what else can I say? After a session of meditation, yoga and exercise, her husky n’ sassy voice sounded in the back of my head. Unfortunately, I was not clairvoyant to understand the
Page 43
words she said. However, I feel this purpose to write you about the experience nonetheless. Chloe was a voluptuous Filipino beauty. She was recently taken away from us due to the plague of COVID-19. After spending most of her life in prison, this 40-something transgender woman finally got her life back. More importantly, she was thriving in the free world. A world now changing to make life better for transgender people. At least marginally. I am so proud of the memory she gave me. After spending a long stint in prison, she went into transitional housing where she worked at Goodwill for minimum wage. She made the best of it, joking about how this job gave her plenty of discounted clothes she could alter to fabulous wardrobes. Much better than prison clothes. She worked from there and made her way into a prestige counseling service. She became a counselor for troubled transgender people. That was until the illness stuck her in Los Angeles during the height of the first wave of the pandemic. I’m much more than sad. Her loss really hit me hard. In Chloe’s honor, I would like to tell you that she touched the lives of countless individuals in a beautiful way both here in prison and out there on the streets. Chloe had a fierce walk. She would walk up to her friends, strongly take your arm and wrap it around hers and
Page 44
APRIL/MAY 2021
Black & Pink News
Letters from our Inside Family
take you out to some kind of experience you’ll never forget. In this drab prison, her light was so funny, pleasant and playful. Sometimes crazy but never over-the-top. She will drop into a crowd and bombastically entertain. You can’t help but feel better after being with her.
I think she wanted me to write to say she is now flowing like an angel she was meant to be ... my babygirl is now out of the flesh she constantly struggled with.
art by Shaylanna (NY)
Chloe: I love and miss you girl. You’ll never be forgotten by my either. A special place in my heart is yours. I will always remember my sister of love, compassion and no-nonsense salted scars of past pain.
Forever yours, Ken E (CA)
Hello Ms. Christina Rose, I read your article in Black & Pink and I want to tell you that no matter what you must stand strong as a transgender woman. I know how you feel, I live as a transgender woman and I’m scared to come out as a trans person here in this prison where we are at. And we are allowed female clothes, and make up and hormone therapy. All the non-gay guys are always telling me, we don’t want you to be a transgender, we like you as a gay. And some of these guys are so fine. But I’m scared to
let them know I would love to have them as a trans friend. But everybody here thinks that if a trans person is talking to a guy who is fine, there just has to be something going on. They think all trans people are about having sex with a guy and that’s not
true. I can’t speak for other trans people but I know I’m not. I have all my trans woman clothing, I’m just waiting till I’m comfortable to wear it out in population. There will
Volume 12, Issue 2
blackandpink.org
Letters from our Inside Family
always be haters when it comes to transgender people. But you’ve got to remember we’ve come a long ways. I hope that somehow, someway you can come to the point where you can feel comfortable coming out. Because I’ve told several inmates here who I’m close to that I’m transgender and they didn’t judge me. Find someone in your prison, a straight guy who you talk to and tell him you’re transgender and you will be so surprised how he reacts to you telling him. It will not even phase him. He will respect you as you are. A lot of inmates here in my prison know I’m transgender. The only thing is that I’m not ready to wear my trans clothing. So stay strong Ms. Rose, I hope and pray you can one day be willing to open up and feel free to come out to some of your close inmate friends. You will feel so at peace. Love, Miss Sugar (MA)
Acceptance. This is what we ask for. But do we practice what we preach? When we ask or demand people to respect us and accept us for who and what we are, do we accept that they might be uncomfortable and not quite ready? Do we have the strength to embrace all the labels given to us and then turn against those
who use them? I do it already. It throws those who hate offbalance and more often than not they end up accepting me for who I am because I don’t change for anyone. Being called a fag, queer or any of the other phrases haters like to use don’t hurt my anymore. I’m a bisexual man and I’m all those and more! I accept who and what I am and by showing people that hurtful words don’t work on me, they are forced to acknowledge and accept me. If we want acceptance, we must have the strength to be grown and embrace it, in all its bad and all its good. We can’t try to shove it down people’s throats like they try to force their homophobic ways upon us. We must accept others as they are, judgmental and all, so they can see we are people too and accept us. We must think, we must grow, we must be strong. We must embrace all so that we too can be embraced. Much love to the family! Yours truly, Shan W AKA Blue Isce Wolf (TX)
To My Black & Pink Family, What’s up my B+P Family? It’s your girl Riah Mae here. I must apologize for not writing you
Page 45
all for a good minute. I’ve been going thru it y’all. Here’s a little update: Back in May I had my evaluation for G.I.D. diagnosis, then shortly after I found out that my 27 year old brother has bone marrow cancer. Then I found out my baby sister and my nieces are being treated poorly by my sister’s husband. So with the stress of all that and not having much of any one to talk/vent to along with dealing with all these ignorant ass man children running their mouths, being disrespectful, ya girl fucked up and came out her body on someone and did some damage. I don’t really feel bad because I was only sticking up for me and the rest of us. I refuse to sit by and let people disrespect and degrade us with that godawful “”F”” word. No need for me to repeat it cause we all know what I’m saying. So here I sit in ad seg aka restrictive housing program for sticking up for us all. Was I wrong in smashing dude? When you disrespect one, you disrespect all, right? But it’s not all bad, I have a good cellie. She’s a trip, I’ll let her write when she’s ready. You will all be glad to know that my boldness and confidence gave her the courage to stop fronting and finally be herself. So I guess aside from all the B.S., all is well with ya girl. Once again I apologize for having not written in a while. I promise to start being more consistent in contact and
Page 46
APRIL/MAY 2021
Black & Pink News
Letters & Poetry from our Inside Family keeping everyone posted. For those who pray, will you please pray for my brother James? He’s got bone marrow cancer. Call me selfish but I don’t want to lose him. Well I better wrap it up but I love each and every one of you and hope all are doing well and holdin it down wherever y’all at. Know that ya girl, Ms. Riah Mae is doin good, considering my circumstances and am gonna continue to hold us down. Until next time, I love y’all. Love, your sister, Riah C. (SD)
Hi Fam, This is your trans sister from another mister, Harley Quinn here in the gulag of Pennsylvania. Sitting in my cell in the Diversionary Treatment Unit (DTU), going absolutely stir-crazy. This COVID-19 BS is really kicking my rear. Coping with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is tough and it is my intention to get a BPD support group started here and elsewhere within PA DOC. Already have a transspecific support group statewide and LGBTQIA+ support group at select SCIs, including this one. I’ve done research in the matter and I’m shocked at the high numbers of PA DOC prisoners diagnosed with BPD. I know for
me it would help a great deal to have a support group available. Some assistance in getting that started is needed and appreciated. Also I’m fighting a legal battle with the DOC to provide permanent hair removal. A prison psychiatrist has documented that it is essential to my mental health and wellbeing that I receive treatment for my unwanted body hair. If I’m successful, it will open the doors for trans women incarcerated in PA DOC to receive laser hair removal and/ or electrolysis as part of basic treatment for gender dysphoria. I’m presently litigating pro-se but have contacted numerous legal agencies such as Lambda Legal and Transgender Law Center, to name a few. So far, I’ve had no luck in obtaining an attorney to represent me. The caption for the case is as follows: United States District Court for the Middle District of Pennsylvania, Thomas Flick v. Timothy Miller et al, Case # 1:19-CV-01811-JEJ-EBC. I will keep you updated on this case. But, beloved, keep your heads up and held high. Don’t let anyone bring you down or stop you from being who you are! Stop the bickering and fighting! We are a family, a community. We have no business fighting amongst ourselves. Just remember that your sister loves you all and
wishes nothing but the best. Be bold, be beautiful, be you and don’t let anyone keep you from that. #BORNTHISWAY #SASSYBUTCLASSY Love, Harlequin (PA)
I Need Someone I need someone To love me I need someone To hold me I need someone to comfort me. I need someone To encourage me I need someone To stand by me Care for me Give me their all Someone like you I need someone To lean on I need someone like you - Juicy Queen Bee (PA)
A Prayer 4 Change You’re change, A prayer for change. Go through the door to the floor Where queers is, where trans, Where beautiful people Put hugs and encourage them
Volume 12, Issue 2
Page 47
blackandpink.org
Love shall flow Where you do the thing - Chris C. (MO)
Strength The strength I have found inside of here is rare During this time the world is going through We all have felt depleted, lost, alone and struggled Reach out for help. Anywhere you can. Don’t give up. You’re worth much more. It may seem like the end is for you. But look around you. Find strength in a smile. If you can’t lend a smile, I’ll lend you mine. - Aaryana M. (MN)
Once in a blue moon ... no, once in a red moon, Because blue moons come way too often Are you my red moon? Can you help me find my soul? For I have lost it.
art by Joaquin G. (AZ)
Pain from my past has caused me to be overly cautious. This gives me pause. Do you know where the button is that will help me resume? Love isn’t like riding a bike. Prove you can be trusted, all I ask for is brute honesty. Only then can I be retaught it. Until then, I will stay in this locked room. Do you hold the key to make me change my
Page 48
tune? - K.D. (CA)
Hide Who I Am Why must I hide who I am; Just to be respected by family and friend, Why can’t everyone understand; Being a crossdresser is who I am Why must I hide who I am; For fear of being isolated by those, Who judge what others wear Why does someone have to be “gay,” If they wear women’s clothes; Or prefer to be called by woman’s name Why must I hide who I am; Just to be respected by family and friends - Jasmine (NY)
Understand They don’t understand They don’t even know the plan Or the method to my madness Looking at the bigger issue could’ve ended up tragic Seen my whole life flashing Had the bad and the good and I’m glad that it happened It brought about some satisfaction Searching for the real sometimes everlasting People told me slow down so I started moving faster Cuz the time will expire through the passing
Black & Pink News
I was fine with the sippin of the wine and relaxin Man I tried to be everything that motha f**kas asked me Now I’m tired of the bullshit lies and harassment When I saw all the pain that I caused, I ain’t grap it Another sad song, I won’t chance it I don’t run and hide when they’re glancing And I am not inspired by the fancy - Swiss on Point (TX)
Sickness of Old Love I lay awake thinking of you and wonder what life would have been if I stayed with you I lay awake remembering that toxic aroma of your own lavender scent that takes me back to when we lock eyes in our love making that night when I just turned 19 Sometimes I catch that aroma and turn yet you’re not there. I lay awake thinking just about you and your fearless ways in taking my heart and giving me yours. When I finally fall asleep, I feel you press up to me and whisper your deep love to me. When I wake up, I tell myself I was dreaming. Then I smell your aroma there. - Jay G. (IL)
Her love have engulfed my soul. How far she’s willing to go, she does not know. Because
APRIL/MAY 2021
her love have tooken over the soul. She questions herself by saying, what is happening to me? Because his thoughts has become mine, how could his love combine with her love? As she cry, she repeat how have this happen to me. As day became night, her cravings starts to take its tolls. From head to toe, the avalanche begins to roll. Her love now starts to cry for his love. Now she realizes his love has combined with her soul. She begins to call out his name over and over again. As the cry gets louder and the crave is out of control, the fighting has stopped. Will to give his love total control. She went to the bedroom to see him face to face. She tell her love all this fight has to stop today. No longer afraid to commit. She said huney wake up, I got to speak to you. And that’s when her love summit. Totally caught by surprise about what we just did. He undress her with his loving eyes. That when he realized her love would never die. So her love became his love. - Alyssa Phoenix S. (CA)
Volume 12, Issue 2
blackandpink.org
Page 49
Call for Submissions Seeking erotic short stories, poems, and art by Black & Pink incarcerated and free-world family members for a new zine. To be mailed, art cannot include full nudity. Please send submissions addressed to Black & Pink — HOT PINK. This is a voluntary project, and no money will be offered for submissions, but you might get the chance to share your spicy story with many other readers! The zine will be sent one or two times per year. To subscribe to upcoming issues of HOT PINK, write to our address, Black & Pink — HOT PINK.
Black & Pink Mailing Information Write to us at: Black & Pink — [see table below] 6223 Maple St. #4600 Omaha, NE 68104 Please note that you can send multiple requests/ topics in one envelope! Due to concerns about consent and confidentiality, you cannot sign up other people for the newspaper. However, we can accept requests from multiple people in the same envelope. There’s no need to send separate requests in more than one envelope.
If you are being released and would still like to receive the Black & Pink News, please let us know where to send it! Penpal program info: LGBTQ+ people who are incarcerated can list their information and a short non-sexual ad online where people can see it and write. There will be forms in upcoming issues Mail info: We are several months behind on our mail. There will be a delay, but please keep writing! Email us: members@blackandpink.org
If you would like to request:
Address the envelope to:
Newspaper Subscriptions, Address Change, or Volunteering
Black & Pink — General
Newspaper Submissions — Stories, Articles, Poems, Art
Black & Pink — Newspaper Submissions
Black & Pink Organization or Newspaper Feedback
Black & Pink — Feedback
Black & Pink Religious Zine
Black & Pink — The Spirit Inside
Advocacy Requests (include details about the situation and thoughts about how calls or letters might help)
Black & Pink — Advocacy
Submit to or request Erotica Zine
Black & Pink — HOT PINK
Stop Your Newspaper Subscription
Black & Pink — STOP Subscription
art by Eileen JImenez, courtesy of JustSeeds