8 STRATEGIES for Personal & Professional MASTERY by Jim Bouchard –– THE SENSEI LEADER

8 STRATEGIES FOR

PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL

MASTERY COMPANION TO: THINK Like a BLACK BELT BY JIM BOUCHARD San Chi Publishing 2015

© 2015 by Jim Bouchard Booking for speaking, corporate training and media appearances available through Black Belt Mindset Productions. Call 800-786-8502 ThatBlackBeltGuy.com Cover & book design by Diego Designs

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or scanning, or otherwise without written permission of the author and publisher–– except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles.

Published in the United States of America by San Chi Publishing

First printing: August 2015 ISBN-13: 978-1517381943 ISBN-10: 1517381940

Contents PrefaCe

iii

Why Mastery? 1. Choose

disCiPline––and Choose your

disCiPlines

2. foCus

3. understand 4. Be

and Cultivate PoWer

Confident––yet huMBle

5. KnoCKed 6. straP

doWn

tiMes?

on your Belt

Get

53 uP

8! 63

7. KeeP “BeGinner’s Mind” 8. Be

a leader

straP

on your

BlaCK Belt

PrefaCe

This is a short book, so I’ll make sure this is a short preface. I’m writing this primarily as a guide to support my workshops in personal and professional Mastery based on my book, THINK Like a BLACK BELT. I’ve included some quotations from that book, but I’ve also included excerpts from THE SENSEI LEADER and pieces of various articles and blog posts I’ve written since THINK was published. Life continually happens. I’ll do my best to give you my most current observations and ideas. I’m still very proud of THINK Like a BLACK BELT. Writing that book helped me identify and articulate the philosophies that helped me transform myself from a drug abuser and chronic dropout to a Black Belt––from loser to leader. Even as they continue to evolve, those philosophies continue to serve me in my never-ending pursuit of self-perfection. I always want to be a better person––and these ideas work. iii

JIM BOUCHARD As I said, this is a short book. It’s intended as a guide, a journal and an outline of the strategies that helped me develop Mastery in my work and in my life––to whatever degree I have accomplished so far. If you want to explore these ideas in more depth, I’ll refer you to THINK Like a BLACK BELT. If you’re ready to take it to an even higher level, read THE SENSEI LEADER. I hope you enjoy this book and this process. There is nothing more rewarding than improving yourself and I am absolutely certain that the improving yourself is the most important step in serving others.

“The least selfish thing you can do for others is improve your Self.” If you want to help others. If you want to lead, serve and bring value to the people in your life, your business and the community––start with your Self.

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“Mastery over others is strength. Mastery over yourself is power.” ~lao tzu

Why Mastery?

A while ago I was soaking in the tub watching Dan Pink’s TED Talk on “The Puzzle of Motivation.” Yeah, that’s how I spend my tub time … YouTube University! Anyway, Mr. Pink was talking about the three major factors that motivate us:

autonoMy Mastery purpose I think Dan Pink hits the nail squarely on the head. I’ll only add that in my experience, Mastery is the most important of these three factors. That’s what the Black Belt experience is all about… 1

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Mastery gives you control of your individual talents and abilities.

Mastery is the key to selfeMpowerMent. Mastery is what earns you greater autonoMy. Mastery is in itself a Meaningful pursuit—a purpose in itself. Mastery is the foundation of genuine confidence. You want to feel as if you can accomplish what you set out to do, right? That means you have to know what you’re doing and even more important, you’ve got to do something well. Later we’ll dig deeply into exactly what success is all about, but for now just accept that your success is dependent on the value you bring to the world and the people around you. That value is measured by your competence––whatever it is you 2

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY can do well that makes other people’s lives a little better.

The key to your success is Mastery. You don’t need to be a Master at everything. In one lifetime, it’s fairly ambitious to Master one or two meaningful skills. Pick something and commit yourself to becoming good at it. That takes time. I was blessed to study for several years with Dr. Yang, Jwing-Ming. I studied Qigong, Chin Na and Taiji with Master Yang, but more important than any physical technique was the privilege of spending quality time with one of the world’s most insightful living philosophers. I want to emphasize that Dr. Yang not a great philosopher because he’s some kind of elite guru. He’s completely the opposite. He is a warm and caring human being and an engaging and accessible teacher. Dr. Yang had lots of great advice––always on point, practical and usually down to earth. One day he was talking with a small group of us who were all professional martial arts instructors. I was sharing my frustration with the mindset of new students––too many of them were obsessed with rank. “How long does it take to get to Black Belt?” “Can I do it faster if I come to classes more often?” 3

JIM BOUCHARD Dr. Yang had a great response to my bitching and moaning. He said: “Ya––today everybody wants to be Jedi knight in two weeks. Takes longer than two weeks to be Jedi knight!” I remember one guy who walked into our dojo years ago and asked, “I found a program that guarantees a Black Belt in a year––can you do that?” Well, I can teach you how to THINK Like a BLACK BELT in a one day seminar. I couldn’t and wouldn’t guarantee you could earn an actual Black Belt in any specified time! You earn it when you earn it. We’re not trying to make it difficult and we’re not trying to be elitist or exclusionary. It’s just that martial arts is supposed to teach us that any difficult skill takes time and effort to master. The Chinese call that process “Kung Fu.” That process is supposed to imprint a sense of genuine confidence in your skills and abilities. You can’t gift confidence. True confidence is earned by training, facing challenges and dealing with adversity. Again––that takes time––Kung Fu. This little book is not a shortcut. It’s not going to make you a Jedi knight or even a Black Belt. It’s going to help you think like one. To really make this process work in your life is a lifelong process. If you’re sincere about this endeavor it’s going to take longer than a few hours, days or weeks. 4

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY Having given you the disclaimer, by the time you finish this book you will understand a lot about the mindset of a Black Belt. You’ll know how to apply that mindset in your personal and professional life. You’ll design a set of disciplines that will move you forward and you’ll make some important decisions about exactly what you should be focusing on to achieve your goals–– Then you’ve got to keep doing it! A constant theme throughout this adventure is:

“perfection is not a destination. it’s a neverending process!” Embrace this process. This idea is so important that when I wrote THINK Like a BLACK BELT I said you should tattoo this little piece of philosophy on your arm. Imagine my surprise when I received a picture from a loyal reader and that’s exactly what he did! I suppose he could have picked far worse words to permanently stamp on his body. Now before we get started, you’ve got to accept one more 5

JIM BOUCHARD important disclosure about this process:

I’m not here to give you answers––I’m here to help you ask the right questions. If you’re looking for quick answers and solutions, go to someone who will just tell you what to do. I never liked that approach and if you’re reading this, it’s pretty likely you don’t like people who profess to have all the answers either. I learned a long time ago my martial arts life that the best teachers were not those who gave me the answers. The best teachers were those who helped me ask the right questions. When you find the answers on your own, they’re your answers! I wrote this book to help you think. It’s about taking some time to look in the mirror, reflect on who and where you are now and to decide who and where you want to be in the future. After you work through this process, you’ll need time to make it happen. I highly recommend you set benchmarks rather than deadlines. Work through attainable steps––work on what you can do here and now with the resources you have at your disposal today.

This process is simple––not easy. 6

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Do the work. If you fall off the wagon–– get right back on again. Knocked down 7 times? Get up 8! (We’ll really dig into that in step 5!) And finally––

Be a leader. Leaders have more options in life. Leaders have more opportunities. In THE SENSEI LEADER I shared an important strategy for both aspiring and established leaders:

“Commit yourself to professional Mastery.”

personal

and

The key to true autonomy and freedom is leadership and genuine leadership is in turn the highest form of human expression. Everything I share in this series points to leadership. Embrace the role and responsibility of leadership. This means, most of all, to embrace the role of a leader as someone dedicated to service and committed to helping 7

JIM BOUCHARD others achieve their full potential. Mastery is about power––about expanding your ability and capacity to act and perform effectively. Your power expands through sharing––by empowering others. But, to empower others you’ve first got to learn how to empower yourself.

If you want to lead others to Mastery, you have to first master your self. Let’s start there …

1. Choose disCiPline––and Choose your disCiPlines

Develop and cultivate meaningful and purposeful habits. “Raise your hand if you consider yourself a highly disciplined person.” That’s how I start nearly every THINK Like a BLACK BELT workshop. No matter how often I do this, I’m amazed if half the people in the room raise their hands. Then I usually add: “What the hell is wrong with the rest of you?” Don’t worry. It’s quite possible there isn’t anything terribly wrong with you if you didn’t raise your hand. You probably 9

JIM BOUCHARD just haven’t thought very much about what, exactly, discipline is all about.

discipline is siMply the developMent and cultivation of Meaningful and purposeful habits.

It’s simple, really. Meaningful and purposeful habits are those that move you closer to your goals and objectives. The more of these positive habits you have in your life, the more likely you are to succeed in whatever you’re after. Simple––but simple does not necessarily mean easy! The problem is that your mind abhors a vacuum. Human beings are truly creatures of habit and in the absence of constructive habits, there are plenty of destructive habits willing and eager to take their place. You might not have raised your hand when I asked you to acknowledge that you are a highly disciplined person, but what if I say it a little differently: “Raise your hand if you have some things you do regularly that help you do your work or achieve your goals.” Is your hand up now? And what about this? “Raise your hand if you have habits that get in the way of doing your work, doing it well or habits that keep you from achieving what 10

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY you want and living the kind of life you want, or think you deserve.” Now is your hand up? As a young man I was an example of the classic poster boy for bad habits. I was a dropout and a drug abuser. Around 1980 lived in an old drafty 1950s trailer that we christened, “Stonehenge.” Just inside our front door we taped up a hand-written cardboard sign that read: “We ARE the people our parents warned us about.” Not an environment conducive to health, or the successful completion of a college degree. I failed miserably in both areas. I can tell you from experience if you don’t have constructive habits, you have destructive habits. Your destructive habits may not be as dramatic as drug addiction. One in particular that gets little attention but can be equally dangerous is: Complacency. That’s right––doing nothing might just be the most crippling habit of all. Most of the people I meet who think they have a discipline problem really have a complacency problem. Some of them are just plain lazy, that’s one issue, but most of them are quite 11

JIM BOUCHARD comfortable––and that can be even worse! If you’re satisfied with your life the way it is––great! Far be it for me to judge! If you want more out of life, then get off your lazy, complacent ass and do something about it! While we’re talking about this, another terribly self-destructive habit is complaining––and when it comes to complaining, a lot of people are hard-core addicts.

ALRIGHT––LET’S GET TO WORK. I asked a question a few paragraphs ago. Let’s make it official:

Do you consider yourself to be a highly disciplined person? Circle one:

YES

If you answered no––why not? If you answered no, and if you’re like most people with discipline issues, it’s likely that you’ve allowed negative and destructive to habits to displace positive, productive habits. If you answered yes, let’s build on your best habits and see if we can expand those habits into new applications and even 12

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY more productive areas. Let’s identify your current habits or routines––you’ve got ‘em whether you realize it or not. Let’s analyze each one and decide whether they’re productive or destructive. Destructive habits can be sneaky and they don’t always seem destructive until you really take a hard look at them. Fill in the table below with the things you do regularly. Under “Frequency,” indicate whether this is something you do daily, weekly, monthly, annually or occasionally. Then place a plus or minus symbol in the next column to indicate whether this is a positive habit that should be further cultivated, or a negative habit you can live without.

Habit

Frequency

+/–

JIM BOUCHARD

THE NEXT TASK IS SIMPLE––NOT EASY. GET RID OF YOUR NEGATIVE HABITS. This is not easy because of one factor that too many self-improvement experts fail to acknowledge:

Sometimes your negative habits make you feel really freakin’ good! Seriously! Some of your most self-destructive habits might feel terrific––at least in the moment. When I was in the process of quitting drugs, I talked with a counselor who said, “Jim, drugs don’t make you feel good.” I wasn’t trying to be wiseass, but all I could say was, “What the hell drugs are YOU taking?” Of course drugs made me feel good––that’s why I was doing them! I understood what she was trying to say. My drug habit was literally killing me, but they also induced some remarkable physical and mental sensations. They shielded me from my own insecurities and self-loathing, at least temporarily. They provided an escape from the pain I was feeling. In a weird way, drugs gave me a reason not to face up to the challenge of making my life matter. What my counselor should have said, and what I’ve said to many people through the years, is to consider the cost. I may feel great now, but at what price down the line? 14

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY Your negative habits might not be as extreme as drugs, but they can be just as debilitating, especially over the long haul. I keep harping on this one, but did you list any form of laziness, complacency or wasting time as a negative habit? They say time flies when you’re having fun. That’s true, but with the benefit of hindsight I’ve found that time flies even faster when you waste it––at least it seems that way when you’re looking back. Life is short and there’s nothing worse than waking up one morning and wondering where it all went. Complacency robs you of your precious time. That’s part of the reason drug and alcohol abuse is so destructive. I lost nearly 3 years of my life and I can’t even remember what I did through most of it. Now I can’t stand losing 3 hours! Sometimes you cling to negative habits even when they’re causing you immediate and obvious pain. You know they’re hurting you, they don’t feel good––but you keep doing them anyway. Two that come up quite frequently are staying in a bad relationship and sticking to a lousy job. Sometimes you cling to these negative habits simply out of comfort or convenience. As stupid as it might sound, it is sometimes more comfortable or convenient to stick with something lousy rather than risk a worse situation if you drop it. Well––it is worth the risk. You’ll never experience anything better unless you’re willing to let go. 15

JIM BOUCHARD One of my Masters told us a story about how they trap monkeys in China. They put a peach in a jar. The opening of the jar is just large enough for a monkey to get his paw in, but once he grabs that peach, he’s stuck. As much as that monkey likes that sweet peach, you’d think his freedom would be a lot more valuable. Apparently monkeys don’t think like we do––but unfortunately, we do sometimes think like that monkey. If you want to get ahead, you’re going to have to decide what to leave behind––sometimes even if it’s something sweet.

FINALLY––EXPAND ON YOUR POSITIVE HABITS. Think about where else you can apply your positive habits. Believe it or not, I work with many people who have nothing but positive habits, but they still can’t get where they want to go. The problem there is usually that they have terrific habits in one area of life, but find it difficult to apply that discipline somewhere else––especially in their work. I’ve had the same problem. 16

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY For me the turning point was martial arts. As I got more deeply involved in my training, some very special things started happening. In my martial arts practice I learned a lot about the process of discipline. I developed better focus. I started to cultivate some sense of genuine self-confidence. I became a stronger, more centered, more dedicated person. I also learned to embrace and accept self-improvement as a never-ending process. I learned that perfection is not a destination, and that for me, I’d always be a work in progress. I started to apply those lessons and principles in other areas of my life. It took awhile, but I started to realize that the disciplines I developed in the dojo were exactly what I needed to transform myself from a loser to a leader. And that’s a big part of the reason I share the most painful and embarrassing chapter in my life.

I am one of those people who can say from experience and from the heart: If I can do it––so can you. Each time you create a meaningful and purposeful habit, you create a discipline. That discipline becomes a valuable trait and commodity that you can apply to any worthwhile pursuit.

JIM BOUCHARD

ACTION STEPS: Over the next week, take some time to complete these simple action steps:

#1 decide which habits you’re going to drop––and do it. #2 review and think about your positive habits––your current disciplines. #3 decide what other disciplines you need to develop to accoMplish your goals or to siMply Move ahead a little. Cultivating a mindset of discipline is the most fundamental step in developing self-Mastery. It’s painfully simple––but it can also be incredibly difficult. You sometimes have to overcome deeply rooted habits, fully integrated mindset patterns and strongly held beliefs. Before you commit to any of the other strategies, commit yourself fully to this one. Develop and cultivate meaningful and purposeful habits. 18

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY

choose discipline.

2. foCus

Focus on what’s important and on what you can do right here and right now. Let’s do a short exercise to measure your ability to focus… Set a timer for two minutes and start counting from one to as high as you can. No need to rush- just keep counting steadily––until any thought other than your count pops into your head. As soon as you’re aware of any other thought, start from one again.

OK- how high did you count? If you counted over 100, you’re lying- or you weren’t paying attention! If you never made it past 10, don’t worry- you’re normal! Your brain is wired to create new thoughts and to respond 21

JIM BOUCHARD to any changes in your environment. That’s a survival mechanism. If you’re crouched in the jungle hunting for your supper, you want a brain that is quickly distracted by the rustling of an approaching tiger that is trying to turn you into his supper. Your uniquely human brain is also wired to stay on task, pursue long threads of reasoning and think creatively–– assuming you can eliminate the distractions that interrupt those processes. All you need to do is concentrate your energy and efforts on thoughts and actions that move you closer to your goals–– and eliminate any distractions that are holding you back. Easier said than done––right? Focus- or rather a lack of focus is a big problem. We live in a world of distractions. It takes the average person nearly 20 minutes to recover from a distraction and get back on task. That’s a lot of thumb twiddling time! In THINK Like a BLACK BELT I wrote:

You can’t force focus. It’s useless to try and force yourself to concentrate. Focus is really a process of letting go; it’s a matter of turning off the noise and letting your mind do what it does naturally. When you turn off the distractions you operate at 22

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peak efficiency and the mind naturally settles on the task at hand. I’ll stand by those words! Can you remember the last time you sat down, under pressure, and tried to force yourself to concentrate? How well did that work? Look- sometimes you can get away with it, but your mind operates most effectively in a state of clarity. When we’re practicing meditation we call this a state of “awareness.” It’s a kind of active/relaxed state. I know that sounds like a contradiction. How can your mind be active and relaxed at the same time? You see professional athletes do it all the time. They take the most demanding situations and make it look easy. Watch Tom Brady on a two-minute drive or Tiger Woods about to attempt a long putt. You don’t see panic- you see calm resolve. It’s obvious that they’re fully focused- at the same time they look relaxed and relatively free from stress. Some people interpret that as a lack of passion in the moment. That couldn’t be further from the truth. You’re actually witnessing the results of endless hours of passionate dedication to training, practice and preparation … … And that’s where focus comes from. 23

JIM BOUCHARD That’s where you develop the ability to tune-out the distractions and allow your mind to calmly process the task at hand- the task you prepared for. These days, a lot of people are looking for the short-cut. Why can’t you just take a “focus pill?” Why do you still need to practice every day to maintain your ability to focus? Didn’t the weekend retreat do the trick? Well––there is no short-cut. But it’s not complicated.

ARE YOU FOCUSED? The first step is to do a simple assessment. How focused are you? Just rate your ability to focus on a scale of 1 to 10––1 being highly distracted and 10 being highly focused:

Ability to Focus: One the best ways to assess your ability to focus to keep a journal. Just jot down every time you catch yourself wandering off-task or losing focus. You may be surprised just how often it happens. Of course, as soon as you start your journal you’re altering the results. You’ll stay on task longer and get back on task faster just because your journaling improves your awareness. 24

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY You’ll become more aware of distractions and you’ll improve your focus at the same time. The only way to assess your focus with absolute accuracy is to use a hidden camera. You’ll need to run the camera for 4 weeks- 2 weeks just so you’ll forget about the camera and 2 more to get an accurate record of your daily activities. Doesn’t sound practical, does it? Do the journal- or take some time and really think about how often you lose your focus throughout the day. Make notes of any distractions that knock you off task.

LETTING GO … We live in a noisy, confusing, fascinating, but sometimes overwhelming world. We’ve never had so many distractions in our environment. In the middle of all this chaos, we’re expected to do more in less time and we’re supposed to be focused. We’re supposed to be master multi-taskers––which is impossible––because multi-tasking is a load of crap! Your brain is simply not wired to do more than one thing at a time. Don’t believe me; read what neuro-scientist John Medina says in “Brain Rules.” 25

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Multitasking, when it comes to paying attention, is a myth. The brain naturally focuses on concepts sequentially, one at a time … To put it bluntly, research shows that we can’t multitask. We are biologically incapable of processing attention-rich inputs simultaneously. The people we call good multi-taskers aren’t really fully focused on more than one thing at a time. They have the ability to shift their focus quickly from one task to the other without a lot of lag time in between. Fighters are good at that. I’m very good at it- and you can be too, if you’re willing to train. But first…

LET GO You can’t force focus. Focus is a process of letting go of the distractions and detractions that interfere with your ability to concentrate. You’ve got to turn off the noise! (Or at least turn it down a couple notches!) What are the distractions that pull you off task? 26

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY First think about tangible distractions. These are obvious physical or environmental distractions: • • • • • • •

Actual noise in your work or study environment People who like to interrupt you If you work at home- kids Phone calls Answering email Pressing deadlines Online social networking (The Vortex!)

We could spend all day on this list. You get the point. Now take a look at some less obvious or intangible distractions. I also call these “detractions.” • • • • • • • • • • •

Stress Relationship problems Other problems at home Health issues Unsupportive, abusive or discouraging partner or spouse Unsupportive, abusive or discouraging peers or supervisor Unresponsive or antagonistic subordinates Self-confidence issues Lack of adequate preparation Office bully Uncertainty 27

JIM BOUCHARD These “intangible” distractions might not appear as big blips on your radar screen, but they can be just as disruptive as tangible distractions to your focus––to your ability to be fully engaged in the moment. Take a few minutes and identify some of the distractions and detractions that interfere with your ability to focus. Rate their impact on your focus on a scale of 1 to 10––1 being minor and 10 when it blows you completely off task!

Tangible Distractions

Actual physical and environmental distractions

Intangible Distractions (Detractions) Emotional & spiritual distractions: Stress, relationship issues, beliefs, doubts, fears, etc …

Impact

The next step is simple––if not easy … 28

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Eliminate or at least get some control over the most obvious distractions. That’s not always easy to do. You may be addicted to some of your distractions!

Pick the ones that are the easiest to let go of first. You’ll be surprised what a difference this makes––and quickly! Next start attacking the most destructive distractions that may not be easy to fix. You may have some work to do. It’s not easy to face up to a bullying supervisor. It takes time and effort to correct a self-confidence problem. But- the choice is really between chaos and peace, between continually spinning your wheels or getting some traction and moving forward. You’re not going to retreat to a mountain cave and you’re not going to eradicate every distraction in your life. You’re going to let go of those that are most damaging and unnecessary. You’re going to train yourself to let go quickly and return to task faster. You’re developing an active/relaxed mindset. This means the mind is active, but free from distractions it’s able to focus clearly on one task in the moment. Your mind is operating at it’s peak natural efficiency. 29

JIM BOUCHARD In martial arts we call this state of mind: “Mushin,” or “peaceful mind.” You get it when you let go of the distractions and detractions that are drawing you off task and allow your mind to settle in the present moment. It’s about letting go of past regrets and future worries and working here and now–– Which is when everything really gets done!

WHAT SHOULD YOU FOCUS ON? Here’s where your mind should be fully engaged, present and focused: • • • • •

The present moment Serving others Adding value Success Specific action steps

As I keep saying, this is not about eradicating all distractions. Our ability to handle distractions is an evolutionary gift––as long as we can manage it. The difference between us and our ancestors is that a few generations ago is that today, there aren’t too many real tigers 30

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY lurking in the corner of the office. We invest too much focus, time and energy on distractions that are not really going to eat us––unless we feed them willingly! Let’s break it down …

The Present Moment The past is a memory and the future is a dream. The only thing that lasts forever is the present moment––this is when it all happens! This is not some mystical new-age yada-yada. Think about it. You can’t go back in time and you can’t zoom ahead to the future. Worrying about the past is useless––it’s gone. Anxiety about the future is a waste of time too––it isn’t here yet. Everything you’re going to do in the future starts now. Everything you want to do differently from the past you do here and now. Focus on here and now.

Serving Others and Adding Value Genuine success is a direct product of your dedication to serving others. Your success grows in direct proportion to the value you contribute to the lives of others. Again, this isn’t some new-age slogan, it’s simply true. 31

JIM BOUCHARD In fact––it boils down to basic economics. Brian Tracy said it this way:

successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. unsuccessful people are always asking, ‘what’s in it for Me?’ Very few people thrive in isolation. Life as a pure hermit is not the richest expression of the human experience. Human beings are social animals. We’re inter-dependent creatures and we only feel truly healthy and satisfied when we’re connected in meaningful way with others and when we know our lives mean something to other people.

SERVING OTHERS AND ADDING VALUE TO THEIR LIVES Well this one won’t take long. Just live by this quote:

“help others achieve their dreaMs and you will achieve yours.” ~les brown You may have experienced one or two “brass ring” moments in your life. Strange, but the more you focus on the prize the harder it is to win! Focus on providing authentic value and service, and your are much more likely to succeed. 32

SUCCESS

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The key is to success is to focus on what brings us the highest levels of material, emotional and spiritual satisfaction. This might sound arrogant, but I can––and will––define success for you. I know the natural argument- how can I possibly define success for someone else? Success is, after all, subjective. Success for one person may not mean success to another. What a cop-out! This is nothing more than an excuse some people use to justify mediocrity, complacency and even laziness. I argue that success is not subjective; we can apply specific parameters that make it possible to recognize and attain success. The subjective part of success is due to the fact that like perfection, success is not a fixed point. It’s difficult if not impossible for most people to identify a specific amount of money, a particular achievement or even an ideal life partner that absolutely guarantees a lasting feeling of success. And that’s the first problem––success is a feeling and by definition it’s impossible to quantify a feeling. Feelings are dynamic and fluid and sometimes subject to external stimuli beyond your control. The good news is that while feelings and emotions are difficult if not impossible 33

JIM BOUCHARD to control- you can always control your response and your response can in turn alter and shape your perceptions and feelings. The next problem is that “success” isn’t defined by quantity; it’s defined by quality. Of course, you’re free to specify qualities that define your individual vision of success, but here’s the kick to the head:

Success isn’t always about having more; it’s about having “enough.” And “enough” doesn’t mean you need to have more than anyone else! Here’s another passage from THINK Like a BLACK BELT:

While it’s true that some people who dedicate themselves to excellence can become financially wealthy, that’s not always the case and it’s not usually necessary. People who dedicate themselves to excellence will usually feel successful. I won’t pretend to define anyone’s individual success, but I do know that to feel successful and happy you need to have a sense of abundance, or a feeling of having “enough” in three key areas of life: material, emotional and spiritual. How much is enough in each area is completely up to you. 34

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY Success is a sense of abundance- the feeling of having “enough” materially, emotionally and spiritually. That’s it! How much is enough is completely up to you.

Material: Easy enough- this is the tangible stuff: money, possessions, credit; in other words, your “assets.” Material can also refer to easily definable physical qualities including health and fitness. You can measure and quantify these financial and physical assets.

Emotional: A little more difficult to quantify and measure, but still well within the scope of what we normally associate as tangible. Here are your connections with friends, family and associates. This is your support system. You can add the quality of your mental health, your knowledge, certifications and documented experiences. To a degree, you can also include your talents and abilities, self-confidence and general sense of well-being.

Spiritual: This is where we step off the tangible plane. I’m not talking about religion- though religion may be part of your spiritual life. I’m simply talking about that which is beyond our ability to measure and quantify; that which we only experience and 35

JIM BOUCHARD know to be true in our lives through feeling. We feel a sense of need to be connected to other people. We feel that life only has meaning when we have a sense of purpose and value in the lives of others. We feel that there is something bigger than any one of us. Spiritual resources include compassion and courage.

When you have “enough” in all three of these areas you feel content, happy and successful. You still don’t want to get lazy; the cycle of abundance and scarcity is dynamic and sometimes volatile. One of the dangers in abundance is that you may lose your desire to improve and grow- that’s the quickest way to spiritual poverty. Take some time- from time to time, and do an inventory. Take stock of the material, emotional and spiritual resources you have right now. If you’re deficient in one or more areas, that’s where you should focus your efforts. For each area, material, emotional and spiritual, ask yourself these three questions: • • •

What is enough right now? What would I like to have in 5 years? How close am I?

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY

Material: What is “enough” right now? What would I like to have in 5 years? How close am I?

Emotional: What is “enough” right now? What would I like to have in 5 years? How close am I?

Spiritual: What is “enough” right now? What would I like to have in 5 years? How close am I? 37

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BIG GOALS SUCK! Note the conspicuous absence of “big goals” in this discussion. The problem with big goals is––they’re big! We usually try to do it backwards. We define ourselves by big goals––after all, successful people have big goals right? Many of them do, but to them, the goal is like a compass. It’s simply a tool to keep them moving in the right direction. The big goal is always there, on the horizon, but they also know how to focus on the day to day work that make the big goal attainable. You’re going to accomplish much more when focus on specific, actionable steps. Those steps depend on the resources you have to work with in the present moment. Focused and disciplined people break big goals and objectives into a series of actionable steps that are realistically achievable based on the resources you have at your disposal right here and right now. You really did the “big goal” part when we talked about focusing on success. Now it’s time to take an inventory to see what you have to work with and what action steps to focus on today. OK––Go ahead and write down one “big goal.” Then quickly, from the gut––do you have the resources on hand today that you need to achieve that goal? Yes––or no? 38

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY

Big Goal

Material

Emotional

Spiritual

Now break your “big goal” into a series of actionable steps. What do you need to focus on next? Do you have the material, emotional and spiritual resources to achieve each step? If not––don’t get distracted! Just add another step. For example: If your big goal requires an advanced degree but you don’t have the money to enroll in classes right now, a more attainable step to focus on now might be to find a part-time job to earn additional income earmarked for your training. The key is to identify what you can do here and now––this is where you need to focus––here and now.

Action Step

Material

Emotional

Spiritual

“don’t worry about what you can’t do today. focus on what you can do–– today!” 39

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THE BEST EXERCISE FOR FOCUS! One of the most effective techniques for improving focus is the time-tested practice of meditation. You don’t need to shave your head or become a hermit to practice mediation. You don’t have to turn yourself into a human pretzel or suffer hours of boredom. 5 minutes a day is a great start! I’m glad to come and conduct a weekend retreat for you and teach you the finer techniques of effective meditation, but let’s start small. After nearly 30 years of study and practice, I wrote a short, and I mean short e-book titled: Sit Still, Shut Up, and Breathe. We tagged it as: “The shortest guide to meditation and mindfulness you’ll ever read … And for busy people and skeptics; the only one you’ll ever need!”

Please accept this book as my gift! It will only take you about 20 minutes max to read the whole thing. Then just do what I tell you in the book! Just 5 minutes a 40

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY day, every day, for at least a month- and see what happens. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t expect magic. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t believe in magic or pop-culture new-age hokum. I know from experience and practice that developing your ability to clear your mind is one of the most productive things you can do. I know from experience that a simple meditation practice is one of the most effective ways to achieve this clarity.

Just 5 minutes a day. That 5 minutes may just be the greatest gift you ever give yourself! visit sitstillshutupbreathe.coM for your gifts including the ebook and coMpanion video!

3. understand

and Cultivate PoWer

Power is your ability or capacity to act or perform effectively. That’s it. Power is one of the most fundamental keys to Mastery. Mastery is defined by your ability to act or perform effectively. Mastery is power––and there is power in Mastery. What’s so scary or intimidating about that? Why are people so afraid of it? First of all, like many of the concepts we’re talking about–– people don’t know what they’re talking about when it comes to power. Power is one of the most misunderstood concepts we need to master. One huge problem is that there are a lot of destructive lies circulating about power. 43

JIM BOUCHARD Some people tell these lies because they’re trying to hoard power for themselves. Good luck to them––you simply can’t hoard power––and it’s really difficult and expensive to try. Some people tell you these lies with best intentions. These people are usually trying to protect you. They’re trying to spare you from pain, disappointment and the agony of defeat. Good luck to them too! Life involves pain, disappointment and sometimes defeat. Get a helmet and get on with it. Let’s expose these lies and put them to rest.

1. Power corrupts. No it doesn’t; people corrupt power. Power can be used for benefit or destruction; the choice is yours.

2. Power is just for the powerful. Well then, how did they get there? Developing power is a process that can start with the barest minimum of resources. It’s your responsibility to develop your power. Start now.

3. Money is power. No it’s not; neither is knowledge. Money and knowledge are valuable resources you can use to increase your power, your capacity for effectiveness. It takes action to transform 44

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY money and knowledge into power. If money and knowledge were in and of themselves power, all rich and smart people would be powerful and no stupid or desperate people would be.

4. Power is control. No, power is your ability or capacity to perform or act effectively. Control is imposing your will on others. Power is the currency of a leader––control is the currency of a dictator. Which one do you want to be?

5. You can’t get it! The worst lie of all! Every human being has the capacity to develop tremendous personal power. Within the scope of your unique talents and abilities, your potential is unlimited. Which, if any of these lies do you still believe? Can you defend your position? Are any of these lies still holding you back? If so, what can you do to move beyond the lie? Power is a capacity. To increase that capacity, you’ve got to identify and tap into the source. The source of all human power is contained in the body, mind, and spirit. 45

JIM BOUCHARD The first key to understanding and cultivating power is to nourish the source. You’ve got to take care of your body, mind and spirit.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT NOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY, MIND & SPIRIT? Go back and review Strategy #1. Everything you identify in this exercise should become a discipline––a meaningful and purposeful habit. Now answer these questions:

Are you doing anything that’s destructive to your body, mind and spirit? If so––what do you want to change? Now go back and review Strategy #2. Anything that’s destructive to your mind, body and spirit is a distraction and a detraction. These are habits that are draining your potential and keeping you away from what you can really accomplish. Power is generated through motivation and discipline applied over time. In THINK Like a BLACK BELT, I call this 46

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY the “Kung Fu” triangle. You might remember that Kung Fu means hard work. Remember also the 3 powerful motivational factors identified by Dan Pink:

autonoMy Mastery purpose Your motivation is sustained and increased through your sense of purpose, your dedication to the pursuit of Mastery and the more you enjoy the freedom and autonomy earned through this process.

PUTTING POWER TO WORK Finally, you apply power effectively and efficiently through balance, focus and timing. I call this the “Power Triangle.” From THINK Like a BLACK BELT:

Balance also refers to keeping a sense of grounding; what martial artists call “rooting.” It’s about keeping your feet under you! 47

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Some of these concepts are easier to understand by looking at their opposites. We sometimes don’t realize we’re happy until something makes us sad. Balance is not always as noticeable as the feeling of being out of balance. When life starts spinning out of balance you might feel lost, depressed, anxious, nervous, exhausted, or angry. When life is in-balance you usually just feel good! For a fighter, balance is the foundation for delivering a punch or kick with power and effectiveness. Remember power is your ability to act effectively. You’ve got to have a solid foundation; otherwise you can throw a lot of energy at a target and still not produce any effect. Don’t confuse exertion with power. You can work awfully hard without producing any results; that’s exertion, not necessarily power.

TIMING––THE KEY TO MASTERY We’ve talked a lot about focus, so let’s focus now on timing. Good timing is the mark of the Master––and you can only develop timing through experience. 48

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY Here’s another piece from THINK Like a BLACK BELT––I’ve never come up with a better way to explain it:

Timing takes the longest time to develop. If you came to one of my martial arts classes you’d understand balance and focus relatively quickly. It still takes a long time to develop mastery in balance and focus, but with timing there is no intellectual short-cut. In other words, you could improve balance significantly just by bending your legs; try it! You could improve focus simply by aiming at a specified target. Developing timing takes hundreds or thousands of repetitions. As an instructor I could give you a sequence, but I can’t do the work for you. You’ve got to internalize timing through practice. The person who commits to this practice becomes a Master. The greatest exercise to develop timing is experience. You don’t become a Master just by studying and thinking about it. You become a Master by doing. Analyze any past experiences where your timing could have been better. Study the timing of successful people you admire. There’s another distinguishing factor of the most successful people. More often than not, they seem to be in the right place at the right time. 49

JIM BOUCHARD How do they do it? Study them––and practice! There is no substitute for experience––but you can practice. The harder you train the better prepared you are to act when the moment is right. Opportunities happen by all the time. Successful people are prepared to recognize it and seize the moment.

“all things entail rising and falling tiMing. you Must be able to discern this.” ~MiyaMoto Musashi It took me a while to understand the authentic meaning of power; and even longer to learn to embrace power and to accept the responsibility that goes along with it. One of the great Masters who helps me fully comprehend the true meaning of power is Lao Tzu. I’d love to sit down with him; I’ve got a lot of questions! Unfortunately, he’s been dead for a very long time! I’m very grateful his words are with us forever …

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cultivate the inner self; its power becoMes real. cultivate the hoMe; its power becoMes abundant. cultivate the coMMunity; its power becoMes greater. cultivate the organization; its power becoMes prolific. cultivate the world; its power becoMes universal. translated by r.l. wing froM the tao of power

4. Be

Confident–– yet huMBle

Develop true confidence through training & preparation. Temper your confidence with humility.

THE CONFIDENCE PARADOX The big problem is that when we’re talking passionately about confidence, it’s sometimes because we don’t have any! I know. I didn’t have any. In the preface I told you that I started this adventure as a drug abuser and a dropout. I was a loser––not a leader. In THINK Like a BLACK BELT I told this story: 53

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I’ve sat alone in a crummy apartment wondering if I’d ever meet someone to share my life with. I remember being laid-off and wondering how I was going to find work. I’ve put myself into crippling debt. I’ve experienced depression; in some of those moments I’ve turned to drugs, alcohol, and have even considered suicide. Many of you might ask how anyone could possibly consider taking his own life. Having looked in the mirror at someone considering suicide, I can tell you that for me the reason was a complete lack of confidence. Why would anyone want to be with me? Why would anyone want to give me a job? What was I worth to anyone? What was I worth to myself? That level of depression is directly related to a loss of self-worth, and that’s often a result of a lack of self-confidence. When you lack the faith and confidence in yourself to change your circumstances the world becomes an empty and angry place. It seems as if everyone around you shares in some fantastic secret that you’re not worthy or capable of understanding. It’s very easy, and somewhat comforting in a moment like this, to simply resign yourself to a life of horrible mediocrity; or to just end it all. 54

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY I was a drug addict and a dropout. I was a quitter––a loser. I had no sense of self-value or self-worth. Since I had no confidence, I had to learn how to find it. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here. The first step was to learn what confidence was––or what it wasn’t.

CONFIDENCE IS NOT SURETY OF A PARTICULAR OUTCOME From THE SENSEI LEADER:

Confidence is one of the most poorly understood characteristics of human behavior, and that makes it hard to get a grip on it. Most people equate confidence with certainty. To a point that’s true, but confidence is more about certainty in your ability to perform adequately, or even to your best, in the present situation. Confidence is NOT surety of an outcome. It’s your certainty in your ability to perform––to do what you need to do when the time comes––hopefully to do your best. During my research I studied several definitions of confi55

JIM BOUCHARD dence. I didn’t find one mention of outcome or result—not a single reference. So what do you call it when a fighter calls the round for a knockout or a football player guarantees victory? Isn’t that confidence? Not always. Not even usually. Most of the time, that’s just plain arrogance. A cocky, chest thumping display of confidence may just be a mask. That mask of arrogance often hides deep rooted insecurity, a complete lack of self-assurance.

––YET HUMBLE True confidence is expressed more subtly––through what we call, “humility.” Humility is a quiet expression of reserve. You might not know with certainty that you’re going to win the fight, but you damn sure know you deserve to be in the ring. Tempered by humility, your confidence is independent of the desired or expected outcome. Humility is the quality that keeps your mind and heart open to input from other people, to new experiences and most of all to the possibility that you can change and shape your life based on what you learn along the way. If you can’t be sure of the outcome, what can you be sure of? 56

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY Master Jhoon Rhee is a pioneer in contemporary martial arts and to my mind one of the world’s greatest living philosophers. Master Rhee developed a Student Creed for his own students and generously shared his creed with martial artists all over the world. After I met Master Rhee, I started a daily practice of sharing his creed with my students. His creed begins with this affirmation:

“to build true confidence––through knowledge in the Mind, honesty in the heart, and strength in the body.” This isn’t about a guaranteed result. It’s about training! Master Rhee specifies the areas where you have control of developing authentic self-confidence, through your sincere commitment to learning, honesty and personal development in mind, body and spirit. We discussed those areas in detail when we talked about focus––these are the most important areas you must pay attention to! You cannot guarantee an outcome, but you can train. You can study, learn and evolve. You can make yourself stronger and better prepared in body, mind and spirit. You can guarantee that you’re prepared to give your best when you’re called to face your toughest challenges. 57

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“the purpose of training is to tighten the slack, toughen the body, and polish the spirit.” ~Morihei ueshiba Ueshiba Sensei is talking about confidence! “Tighten the slack …” Know that you’re prepared. “Toughen the body …” Know that you can endure. “Polish the spirit …” Develop true courage and know that you will perform to your best when your moment comes. The only way to develop true confidence is through training and preparation. You expand confidence through experience––by embracing tough challenges as opportunities to develop not only your talents and skills, but as a means to becoming more courageous and confident.

IT’S YOUR JOB You can’t “gift” confidence. People may encourage you, support and nourish you––but there are plenty of examples of people with all the support in the world who still turn out weak, insecure and completely devoid of self-confidence. You’ve got to earn it. 58

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY So what’s the first step? Back to THINK Like a BLACK BELT:

The first step in building confidence is learning to recognize and accept even the smallest success or the smallest step forward. At the same time, you’ve got to accept full responsibility for making the changes you want in life. Whether you caused your present situation and circumstances or not, they’re yours to remedy. Start to recognize some small successes and you start to realize that you have some value. Build on this value and you start to share your value with others. The people around you then reflect back this value in a desire to be with you. You’ve got to be open and receptive to the people around you and understand you have value in the lives of others. The more you improve yourself the more value you share with others. Still, the ultimate responsibility for creating your selfconfidence is yours and yours alone. Be open to the encouragement of others and at the same time, know that it’s up to you to do the work. The formula is once again simple––not easy. Open your ears, eyes, heart and mind to new experiences, new challenges 59

JIM BOUCHARD and to the support and encouragement of the people who care about you. Be courageous––just remember that courage is not the absence of fear. The absence of fear is stupidity! Courage is facing your fears and acting in spite of them. There’s nothing that builds a stronger sense of confidence than facing your fears, embracing your most difficult challenges and surviving. Train and prepare yourself to face current and future challenges. Train to simply be a better person. Seek out new opportunities for learning, growth and development. Every moment of training, learning and growth builds a pound of confidence muscle. Finally and maybe even most important, understand and appreciate your value in the lives of others. No matter how it feels in the moment––you are not alone. If you don’t feel as if your life has any meaning, to yourself or others––find one. I know that sounds brutally simplistic. I’ve earned the right. The ultimate key to confidence is purpose. No matter how desperate you may be at any given moment, the smallest 60

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY seed of purpose can grow into the confidence you need to succeedâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;â&#x20AC;&#x201C;even if for right now success is nothing more than survival. Confidence and Mastery are inseparable. As you embrace the process of Mastery, every step gives you more confidence. As your confidence grows, you expand your Mastery.

Stay humble through the whole mess and you become a true Master.

5. KnoCKed doWn 7 tiMes? Get uP 8!

Develop perseverance––things don’t always go as planned. Despite the popular quote––quitting is an option. It shouldn’t be your first option. Before I get into the importance of perseverance, let’s explore this a little further. There are times when quitting is the most sensible and prudent option. Let’s talk a little about when quitting is the smart decision––and then we’ll talk about what to do when you decide that quitting is not an option. When you find yourself beating your proverbial head against the proverbial wall, tipping at windmills or killing yourself in a futile fight, it’s time to move on. Don’t call this quitting, retreat or surrender. Call it “tactical re-deployment.” 63

JIM BOUCHARD Instead of quitting––you’re re-directing your material, emotional and spiritual resources to a new, more productive endeavor. You’re putting down the baggage that’s slowing you down or holding you back. The most extreme example is that of an abusive relationship. When your life partner is harming you physically or psychologically, it’s time to get out! Too many people hang on to destructive relationships–– at home and in business. How can you develop to your full potential when someone is deliberately holding you back? How can you perform to your capabilities in a crippling home environment or workplace culture?

YOU ALSO NEED TO QUIT SELFDESTRUCTIVE HABITS. I already told you, I started this adventure as a drug abuser and a dropout––a loser. If I didn’t quit drugs I’d probably be writing this from jail––provided I learned my lesson by then or even survived to tell the tale. Just as damaging was my habit of chronic self-defeatism. I programmed myself for failure. I expected to fail. As much as I’ve learned in life, this is still one of my greatest challenges. Even when things are going great I can’t help 64

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY wondering when the ax is going to fall. Eventually I learned to accept defeat and failure as a normal part of life. I also learned not to let it stop me! Unless you’re dead, defeat and failure aren’t the end of anything. No matter how hard you’re knocked down, this is where your next success starts. I’ll make this clear: It’s not easy. Nobody likes to lose. One of the worst cliches ever spoken is this load of crap:

“there is no such thing as failure––there are only lessons.” Seriously? Losing is part of life. It happens to the best of us. Get used to it! My boxing trainer, Dave, used to come out with some deep philosophical witticisms about losing. One time, as my freshly broken nose was hanging off my face, Dave said: “Don’t worry about it. You always learn more when you lose.” He paused for dramatic effect then added: “But some days––you just don’t f’n feel like learning anything! Right?” 65

JIM BOUCHARD Ya––he was he ever right! We all want to win once in a while. At the same time we have to accept the fact that all meaningful success comes with a share of failure, disappointment and defeat. Study any genuinely successful person and you’ll find tales of set-backs, frustration and failure.

SO HOW DO THESE LOSERS BECOME SUCCESSFUL?

#1 they don’t quit. #2 they don’t take failure personally. I know I just talked about the exceptions when quitting is the best option. Now let’s talk about when quitting is not an option–– Which is when you decide it’s not an option! When you really embrace a challenge, an opportunity or adventure that’s worthwhile––that’s when you commit yourself to see it through to a successful outcome. 66

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY Or––die in the attempt! Well––I sincerely hope you don’t die trying in anything, but you get the point.

“success is the child of drudgery and perseverance. it cannot be coaxed or bribed; pay the price and it is yours.” ~orison swett Marden Successful people just don’t quit once they sink their teeth into some worthwhile endeavor. They endure the hardships, persevere through set-backs and failures and literally (cue the music), pick themselves up, dust themselves off and start all over again.

Next exercise––just take a few minutes and list any times you can recall when you wish you hadn’t quit:

JIM BOUCHARD One of my favorite Vince Lombardi quotes is:

“it’s not whether you get knocked down; it’s whether you get back up.” A champion isn’t the guy who never gets knocked down–– he’s the guy who keeps getting up every time he’s knocked down. Part of the secret to getting back in the ring is not to take failure personally. This is much different than refusing to take responsibility––you are responsible for your failures. That doesn’t mean that any particular failure was your fault. A failure may be your fault. It’s always worth spending some time in the mirror after a setback. Ask yourself what you could have done differently. Weigh your options for the next time you face a similar situation. The trick is not to personalize it. Before I jump off the quote wagon, here are a few great sayings that demonstrate how successful people compartmentalize failure and move on. I’ll start with one of my favorites. Thomas Edison is of course best remembered as the man who illuminated the world with electric light. His invention was indisputably one of the most important technological successes in human history. The race for the electric light was highly publicized and a lot of investment was at stake. Edison was already a noted celebrity in his day having already invented the phonograph. 68

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY Expectations were high. Still, Edison and his team were suffering setback after setback. The press questioned him on his seemingly endless stream of failures. He snapped back:

“i have not failed. i’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Edison also said:

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

How true is that? Vince Lombardi put it this way:

“we didn’t lose the gaMe; we just ran out of tiMe.” That’s not an excuse! That’s a statement of fact! Look at the records of great teams and great fighters after a loss. You’ll notice an interesting trend. After a huge setback, the best athletes come back with a vengeance. Pity the poor fool that faces a champion after a loss. They simply refuse to personalize failure. They validate the cliche in that they really do learn something from a loss. They take responsibility, correct course, strap on their belts and get to work. 69

JIM BOUCHARD The trick, I suppose is to understand the difference between perseverance and just plain stubbornness. When you feel like quitting, take a serious look at the situation. Do your material, emotional and spiritual inventory. Decide whether it’s smart or foolish, brave or desperate to keep going. There will be times when it makes more sense to abandon the current campaign and live to fight another day. Other times, you’re going to tighten your belt, give a good yell and charge. These days, when the going gets tough––there aren’t enough tough guys around! Too many people quit when they see blood for the first time. Quit if you must––but only on your own terms and only after you’ve exhausted your best effort. When you decide to stay in the fight, then recommit and go all-in. Winning is about going the distance. Be the last man standing.

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY

when a loser fails, he focuses on failure. when a winner fails, he focuses on success.

6. straP Belt

on your

Find or develop useful rituals. There are two meanings for this strategy. The most obvious is that when something needs doing–– strap on your belt and do it. That’s simple enough. The less obvious meaning, and maybe even more powerful, is to develop a ritual that keeps you focused on the present moment. It’s a very special moment when you strap on your Black Belt for the first time. It’s a special moment every time––that’s the power of the ritual. I’ll come back to that in a few minutes. Think about the first meaning and you really have the key to a happy and productive life. Do what needs to be done–– do what you set out to do! 73

JIM BOUCHARD In THINK LIKE a BLACK BELT I wrote:

We have the right to pursue happiness, not the right to happiness itself. It’s your job to go out and pursue it. The best way to do this is to fully develop and express your talents and abilities, bring value to the world, and trade on that value as you see fit. These are the only promises I ever make to my martial arts students: 1-Make it to Black Belt and you’ll be able to do anything you want in life, within the scope of your individual talents and abilities. 2-You’ll learn how to recognize and cultivate your talents and abilities. This is what we’re doing when we “strap on our belts” in the dojo. We’re focusing on what we want to accomplish and we’re focusing on discovering our potential and developing our talents, skills and abilities. That’s not a bad way for you to start your day either! Unfortunately, over the past several years we’ve largely forgotten how to strap on our belts. We’ve devalued personal responsibility. We’ve created an age of entitlement that is now manifesting itself in entire 74

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY dependent populations rioting in the streets when there are no more resources to support that entitlement. If a punch in the face is needed, I’m glad to provide it! I was once a brash, disgruntled young man. I once thought I was “working for the man” and “the man” was holding me back. I did not change my life until I changed my thinking. I had to face up to the fact that I was “the man.” I learned that the only man responsible for my success was the same guy I saw every morning in my own bathroom mirror.

STRAP ON YOUR BELT Take personal responsibility for your individual pursuit of happiness and the only “the man” you’ll be working for is you. Cultivate your talents and abilities and go after your dreams. That’s freedom. Now let’s talk about ritual. Before a workout, a Black Belt enters the dojo, kneels and ties on his or her belt. This short ritual shifts our mindset. We’re leaving behind the trials and tribulations of the day and we’re letting go of any worries about the future. Strapping on the belt is a ritual 75

JIM BOUCHARD that places our minds squarely in the present moment. Find or develop a ritual that helps you focus on what’s going on here and now. After all, that’s where everything gets done! Rituals are powerful reminders of who and where we are. Rituals can also point us in the right direction as we set out on our next adventure. Whenever I promote a new class of Black Belts, I share two rituals I hope will inspire the graduates to continue their practice and most of all, continue the never-ending pursuit of self-perfection and Mastery. I’m going to save one for the end of this book. The other is this … As soon as all the candidates have received their new belts, I have them all reach their right hand high into the air. I then ask them to reach down and give themselves a big pat on the back––job well done! I let that go on for about 5 seconds, then I yell: “OK––that’s enough! Let’s get back to work!” This ritual affirms that while the Black Belt is a tremendous accomplishment, it’s also the beginning of the next phase of training. We’re back to work on Monday learning, growing and continuing the journey to Mastery. 76

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY These days my daily rituals are fairly gentle. I like to wake up, do a few minutes of qigong exercises and meditate before I get to work. This puts me in the right frame of mind to study, write and prepare my presentations. This short ritual gives me time to reflect on where I am, offer some gratitude and take stock of what I want to accomplish today. If you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t already have a daily ritual, take some time and think of something you can do to help you focus and start the day with a productive mindset.

Strap on your belt!

7. KeeP “BeGinner’s Mind”

“Perfection is not a destination––it’s a never-ending process.” When I got my Black Belt, my Master gave me a brand-new belt. It was a deep, rich shade of black- so black it was hard to see any definition it it’s texture. He told my that if I continued my life as a martial artist, I would tie and untie that belt thousands of times. I’d be dragged around the floor in it. I’d soak that belt with buckets of blood, sweat and a few tears. Eventually, he said, that belt would start to fade and wear out. That deep black outer-layer of fabric would fray and tear away. I knew exactly what he was talking about. As our belts wear and the black covering frays, the core of 79

JIM BOUCHARD the belt is exposed. This core is white––the color of our first belt. This reminds us always to keep “Beginner’s Mind.” Beginner’s Mind is a mindset of wonder and curiosity. It means to never be satisfied with any status quo. It means to re-dedicate yourself every day to becoming a better person, to learn new skills and apply yourself in new areas. It means to find new ways to serve. It means to continually and unceasingly perfect your Self. One of the Masters I admired most was Professor Nick Cerio. Professor Cireo defined the achievement of a Black Belt as simply the development of good learning attitude. His belt was worn to a thread. One day I heard someone joke with Master Cireo saying, “Hey Professor, when are you going to get a new belt?” He replied: “Never! They’ll put me in the box with this one!” As far as I know––they did. Professor Cireo, like all the great Masters I admire, never 80

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY stopped learning, growing and developing––as a professional and as a person. He always kept Beginner’s Mind. As with anyone else, his focus shifted as he got older. As a young man he was a fierce competitor. Later he dedicated himself to teaching. The true Master never stops growing. As you grow and change, look for new ways to apply your skills and talents. Look for opportunities to share your talents, experience and wisdom with others. We’re back to it again …

“perfection is not a destination. it’s a neverending process.” The beginner is engaged in this process, but doesn’t have the knowledge, experience and awareness to apply that process fully. The Master commands that process and put it to work continually. Knowledge, experience and awareness are the ingredients of Wisdom, as long as you maintain the wonder, curiosity and passion of the beginner …

… And that’s the true Mind of the Master. 81

8. Be

a leader

Leadership is not only possible at all levels, leadership is your responsibilityâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;â&#x20AC;&#x201C; at all levels. Leaders have a huge advantage over others. The plain fact is that leaders are more successful. Leaders get more of what they want. Leaders enjoy greater freedom and autonomy. Leaders live life with more meaning and purpose.

The key to authentic leadership is personal and professional Mastery. Mastery is about cultivating your talents, skills and abilities. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s about discovering your true potential and achieving peak levels of performance. Masters are best positioned to become leaders. Genuine leaders are authentic Masters. 83

JIM BOUCHARD If you sincerely want to enjoy life on your terms, become a leader. If you want to become a leader, commit yourself to continual personal and professional Mastery.

BE A LEADER––REGARDLESS OF RANK Leadership has nothing to do with rank, titled or position of authority. It’s got nothing to do with certificates or diplomas. Being a leader means doing what needs to be done––and doing it whether you’re asked or required to do it or not. In THE SENSEI LEADER I highlighted three qualities of a leader independent of rank, title or positions of authority:

At any level, a leader is: Someone who sees what needs to be done and does it. Someone who asks before he’s asked. Someone who seizes the opportunity to serve. I believe with all my mind and soul that leadership is the highest expression of the human experience …

Every one of us has the capability to be an authentic leader … 84

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Leadership is––above all––our willingness to live as an example to others. It is our deepest expression of our commitment to other human beings. It is a full acceptance of our responsibility to the people we share our lives with and an understanding of our part in the community of humankind. Mastery and leadership are inseparable. Keep remembering that we’re not talking about leadership in regard to authority or rank, but rather the deeper quality of leadership available to everyone willing to lead. “Sensei” is a common designation for a leader in martial arts …

Sensei literally means one who went before. A leader is someone who is willing to walk point. Your job is to lead others through the never-ending process of change and transformation. That’s what life is all about—that’s what success and happiness are made out of. In many ways, a leader is a mirror. Your followers see themselves in you—they want, in some small way, to be you or at least to be a part of you. It’s your job to reflect back what your followers need to see to correct their flaws and improve themselves. 85

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What do you see when you look in the mirror? If you’re going to lead others, you’ve first got to learn how to lead yourself. The first step on the thousand-mile journey is committing yourself to continual self-discovery, learning, growth and transformation. Look in the mirror—a lot. Take stock of who you are. Decide who you want to be. Before you turn that mirror on others, make sure you’re comfortable with your own reflection. As Lao Tzu said:

“Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.” A leader is someone with the ability to attract willing followers––and someone with the will to serve them. A leader is someone who understands that power only expands through sharing, and someone who understands that if you want to be more powerful––more effective, you do this by empowering others. You do not develop in a vacuum. Your talents, skills and abilities only grow through constant interaction with others. You need other people to nourish your potential––your 86

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY teachers, coaches and mentors. You need others to train with and to test your skills along the way. A Master is someone who understands this process. A leader is someone who expands the process and nourishes the cycle. As you develop Mastery, share your Mastery with others through your leadership. You grow as a Master, as a leader and as a person by empowering others and sharing yourself with the people you serve. The rest of this chapter is an excerpt from THE SENSEI LEADER. This passage explains the cycle I’m talking about and further explains the relationship between Mastery and leadership: Around 1994 I founded my own martial arts organization, Northern Chi Martial Arts Centers. Like the leader of any new organization, I wanted to create a logo, a crest, to symbolize my vision for the organization and the principles that it would represent and embody. I poured over hundreds of various symbols and graphics–– some traditional, some contemporary, in search of some way 87

JIM BOUCHARD to express my core philosophies visually. On the crest I placed three symbolic figures of a person in a martial arts on-guard posture. These three figures represent the relationships necessary for the meaningful personal transformation from beginner to Black Belt ... ... From follower to leader. 1. TEACHER GUIDES THE STUDENT You can easily substitute the words leader and follower for teacher and student. The new student or follower depends on the teacher or leader for instruction, guidance, correction, and encouragement. At this point, the student knows little or nothing about the journey ahead of him. Right now the teacher is mostly giving, the student receiving. As one of my most influential teachers, Dr. Yang, Jwing-Ming would say, “It is the teacher’s responsibility to teach. It is the students responsibility to learn.” That’s a great job description for each role during these first steps. 2. STUDENT TO STUDENT The next relationship is “student to student.” This is when peer to peer leadership becomes an important part of the process. You find out very early in your martial arts training that most learning comes through experience. The Sensei guides you, but you’re going to experience most of your 88

8 STRATEGIES for MASTERY growth and development by doing—by training with your peers. This relationship is dynamic and fluid. As you train and develop, you may take the lead at times. At other times you follow and submit yourself to the leadership and guidance of your peers. Fighting, and learning how to fight, is a lot like dancing! 3. STUDENT BECOMES THE TEACHER Finally, you become the Sensei. The relationship is transformational at this point as the student becomes the teacher. You ARE the one who went before. You’ve walked a few miles by now. You’ve become the leader. It’s now your responsibility to guide the next generation of new students through their first steps. What happens when you reach that final stage? The trip starts all over again. Better yet, you start a new, even more challenging adventure. This process is cyclical, not linear, and when you fully embrace this process, the cycle is not fixed, but ever-ex89

JIM BOUCHARD panding. The Sensei leader seeks out new adventures, new challenges. There are always new talents, skills and abilities to develop, new levels of proficiency and new ways to apply our talents, experience and hopefully by now, our wisdom.

eMbrace this process, and youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll becoMe Much More effective as a leaderâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;

a Master, in the truest sense of the word.

straP on your BlaCK Belt Let’s review.

POWER Your ability or capacity to act or perform effectively. Make yourself more effective and you increase your power––your ability to get good things done.

MASTERY Mastery is the continual process of self-improvement and self-perfection. Mastery is the process of becoming powerful. 91

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“perfection is not a destination; it’s a never-ending process.” Embrace this process––and you will develop Mastery. Share this process with others and you become a leader–– and leadership is the ultimate expression of Mastery. Be a sincere leader and you will become a true Master.

IT’S SIMPLE––NOT EASY! “if people knew how hard i worked to get My Mastery, it wouldn’t seeM so wonderful at all.” ~Michelangelo

KEEP BEGINNER’S MIND Earlier I said I’d leave you with one of my favorite rituals from our Black Belt promotion ceremony … Before we award the ranks, I take a few minutes to explain some of the objects we display at the ceremony. Two of the most meaningful are a vessel of water and a bowl of rice. I point to these objects as I share one of my favorite quotes–– 92

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“before i was enlightened, i carried My water and gathered My rice–– now that i aM enlightened; i carry My water and gather My rice!”

That’s Mastery!

Also the author of THE SENSEI LEADER and THINK Like a BLACK BELT––Jim Bouchard tours nationally teaching personal and professional Mastery and Leadership for corporate and conference audiences. He is a frequent guest on TV and radio programs including FOX News Live, BBC Worldview and FOX Across America. Jim is the founder of Northern Chi Martial Arts Center where he still serves as Master Instructor in Residence. An obsessive golfer, Jim lives in Brunswick, Maine with his wife and business partner, Alex.

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