This issue’s theme: GRATITUDE
Poetry Photos Art Writing
Issue 1
June 2019
+ More
Easy Summer Recipes Meet the Mods! Get involved!
in this issue GRATUTUDE
Lifelines in the hard times
P.4
P.10
Issue 1 June 2015 Article: Thanks but no thanks
P.16
Artist Spotlight
P.22
Easy summer recipes
P.24
Next issue teaser
P.26
How to get involved
P.27
+ poetry + pictures + more 2
welcome! Hello Readers,
Welcome to the first issue of the BBB zine! We’re thrilled to be putting together this little project full of love, collaboration, art, poetry and community spirit.
Our first issue centres around a key value of the BBB community, which is the idea of gratitude and thankfulness. This is something we all struggle with sometimes, and it can be nice to stop and remind ourselves why it’s important. It’s not always pretty and it’s not always nice, but it’s never a bad thing to be positive.
We can’t make this zine without your help, whether you’re an active reader, contributor or long-time lurker. If you’d like to get involved with the next issue, flip to page 27 to find out how. We’d love to hear from you!
Enjoy the beginning of summer, wherever you are in the world reading this. It may not be blue skies every day, but there’s a little sunshine to be found in every moment if you look hard enough.
Love,
Natalie + Gill + Helen
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GRATI
When was the last time you stopped and thoug It’s easy these days to get overwhelmed with th doubly so when you’re dealing with difficult tim and rainbows - it can be messy, dark and downr this issue, and perhaps find time take a few mom you are tha
ITUDE
ght about the things that you are grateful for? he constant barrage of life from all angles, and mes in your life. Gratitude isn’t all happiness right dirty sometimes too. We hope you enjoy ments out of your day today to consider what ankful for!
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Thank you for breaking my heart. Written by Gill Friedlander
To the girl I thought I might one day marry, Thank you for deciding you couldn’t do this anymore. Couldn’t do me anymore. Thank you for trying and ultimately failing. Thank you for letting me end it all one night in the kitchen, after yet another screaming match, after yet another fight. Thank you for leaving me, or rather letting me leave you. You were my first serious relationship, the first person I trusted enough to fall in love with. We had something special, but it wasn’t enough. It got too hard and too messy and too much. And that’s okay. Sometimes the sadness hits a bit too hard. I don’t really miss you, but I do miss the comfort of a relationship, the comfort of having someone to come home to, the comfort of having a person. But, ultimately this is a thank you letter, because I’m thankful for the end. I’m thankful for those tears and that goodbye. Walking away from you has given me: My own space. We lived together for three years. What queer lady stereotypes we were, shacking up so fast. And
usually it was good, but living alone has so many benefits. Cooking what I want, when I want. Spreading out in bed. Naked dance parties to Lizzo. Leaving the dishes an extra day or two too long. Having people over at weird hours.
learning that others value me, and that’s magical and reassuring and helps me walk out of the house each day with my head held high.
New hobbies. I’ve taken up rollerblading. I’m getting back into writing a bit. I’m hiking New relationships. I’m learning more. I’m trying my hand at to lean on my friends, and baking. I’m figuring out myself making new ones, and my as a human, rather than a family more and more. I’m couple. exploring the wild world of A drive at work. I’m working Tinder. I’m having fun and my ass off, and it feels so good. meeting new people. I’m I have poured a lot of my getting to experience that sadness and anger and worry stomach turning, brain turning into my jobs. to mush feeling of a new crush. It’s exhilarating and exhausting You were my everything for almost four years. I thought we and I missed it. might have a future together. A boost in self esteem. Part of For a while I couldn’t see our breakup was centred anything but you, and I know around the words ‘too much.’ now that that is where a lot of My illness being too much. Me the issues lay. So thank you for being too much. I’m not too letting me walk away. I’ve much…I bring a lot to the table, grown immensely since that but it’s not too much. I have a tearful night in January. I’m kick ass sense of humor and a proud of who I’m becoming good heart and I’ll always stick with you. up for those I love. I’m learning to stand strong for myself and Your ex, tell the haters to f*** off. And I’m gaining confidence. Throughout our last few months, you made me feel small and insignificant. I’m
Gill
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The river runs drier and here we sit still thanks mum Older, sadder, bolder, quieter by Natalie Fishing for a sign of hope from a swollen bank Maybe your mother told you there’d be days like these Mine didn’t She didn’t need to I saw it in the days she couldn’t get out of bed I saw it in the hours she’d spend staring into nothingness I saw it in the weeks where she’d cry at night after putting us to bed I saw it in the mornings spent arguing wildly in housing association offices with fat-faced old men I saw it all Her rivers ran slow, deep, prone to floods of emotion Deadly fast at the corners, and soothing still at times My mother showed me to how to dance to classic rock at 8am on a grey Tuesday How to braid my own hair, tie my own shoes and enjoy my own company She told me that wanting to escape was okay, even if I didn’t yet know why How to never see myself as one half of a whole, but a full being Full of fast turns and fire and water and danger and sharp rocks To navigate my own waters alone and not be ashamed to lose my way in them It didn’t always ring true But I listened anyway
Lifelines in the hard times My partner. She is always here for me, does a lot of her masters work from home as my chronic illnesses have gotten much worse She always looks out for me, even through her health issues too. She always encourages me in my work and makes me feel good about the amount I am able to do . She understands me so well and I am very lucky. — James Dickenson
Hogwarts. It's my safe place and my escape from reality. I fill my flat with Harry Potter pops and decorations and it makes wherever I am feel like home, because "Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home" — Lily Luna Pearl
The heart dropping feeling of a new crush. The nerves and head spinning and pure desire. The first kiss that makes your body shake. The feeling of being so desired and wanted. Thinking about them and talking about them and wanting to invite them over every minute of every day. — Gill Friedlander
These two beautiful children of mine. Socks, who comes and sits with me in bed when I'm low on energy, and Bellatrix who always has a kiss and a head boop for me. — Emily Jane Bunce
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“I am grateful that I close my eyes when I kiss the same way I close my eyes when I pray. I am grateful to have lived through. I am grateful for you.” — Andrea Gibson
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorns have roses.”
— Alphonse Karr
“I may not be where I want to be but I'm thankful for not being where I used to be.” ― Habeeb Akande
“Being grateful does not mean that everything is necessarily good. It just means that you can accept it as a gift.” ― Roy T. Bennett
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For the power in growth
For the calm that
follows the storm
For the light shining through the darkness Š Helen Gerrard
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THINGS I LOVE
Written by Gill Friedlander
Thunderstorms. Movie theatre popcorn. Rollerblading down hills. Cat snuggles. Swimming outside. Baby laughter. Colouring pages. Black and white movies. The smell of freshly cut grass. Mismatched socks. The way the world comes alive after a long, cold winter. Milky tea. Kissing a new person. Kissing someone you’ve known forever. Kissing a stranger. Laying with someone and feeling their heartbeat. Scuffed up sneakers. Homemade soup. Freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Dog bellies. Dog eared books. Farmers’ markets. Tomatoes eaten off the vine. Walking barefoot in the grass. Kids playing in fire hydrants. Re-watching a favourite movie. Getting up early to watch the sunrise. The words ‘how was your day.’ Sleeping naked. Sleeping under the stars. Sleeping with someone for the first time. Laughter during sex. Laughing so hard your stomach hurts. Laughing so hard you can’t remember why you’re laughing. Poetry that makes your heart hurt. Used bookstores. Cats in used bookstores. The smell of used bookstores. Old men playing chess in the park. Old ladies fast walking in the park. Dogs swimming in the fountain. Picnics. Long car rides to nowhere in particular. Your favourite song coming on the radio. Playing music with the windows down. Train rides. Ice cream with rainbow sprinkles. The first flutters of a crush.
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What do we have to be thankful for anyway? Thanks but no thanks to needless platitudes and boring clichés By Natalie Cooper
It’s 9 o’ clock on a Saturday and I’m sat, of times I’ve resisted (and occasionally twiddling my hair between bored thumbs failed at) rolling my eyes at said whilst a random guest at my aunt’s family statements. It’s roughly somewhere in the party is ranting to me about how low thousands. ungrateful her kids are. All they do, apparently, is complain about how hard their lives are, when actually they don’t know how lucky they are. She looks me up and down, gesturing with a slightly-too-full wine glass. “They’re your age, and just look at you! I bet you’re grateful for your How often do you thank yourself for the things that you do? upbringing, your health, your good luck. Everything ahead of you.” I grin and try Gratitude is a funny thing. It’s always nice not to grimace. She’s trying her best. to feel appreciated, of course, but how far does it go? What if you don’t have It’s an all too familiar story, unfortunately. health to be grateful for? How does I can’t count the amount of times I’ve heard remembering someone else’s crappy life make your current crappy life any better? such statements as ‘at least I’ve got my It’s easy to get tied up in it all, and before health!’ or ‘well, we should always you know it, you’re feeling guilty because remember we have it better than some people’. I can, however, count the amount you’re not ‘appreciating what you have’.
According to psychology research conducted by Harvard Health Publishing, ‘gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.’ Bold claims indeed, and you have to admit, they’re probably onto something there. I believe that the key to gratitude however, is not just simply trying to force yourself to feel grateful for your given lot in life. No, in order to unlock some of these magical effects purported by those lovely American scientists, I think we need to go deeper.
Grateful people experience fewer aches and pains and they report feeling healthier than other people, according to a 2012 study published in Personality and Individual Differences. But that’s not because the magic of gratitude heals their every ill – it’s because grateful people are more likely to take care of their health in the first place. They appreciate themselves, go to regular check-ups and try to look after themselves.
Recognizing all you have to be thankful for – even during the worst times of your life – fosters resilience. Resilience can of course take the form of a hard outer shell which doesn’t let anything or anyone in, but it doesn’t have to look that way. Simply taking a few moments to thank yourself for the things that you have done I’m grateful for the good things in my life, to make your day better can be incredibly powerful mentally, and can tip the of course. But I’m also deeply appreciative of the efforts that I have put balance of a bad day into at least a in for those things to exist. I’m grateful for slightly better one. the time I and others have taken to create things that make my life better. I’m Positivity is never to be sniffed at – even if grateful, not for my body, but for myself it’s only internal. Nobody is asking you to and the time I take to drag it to Yoga on a go skipping off into the sunset yelling Tuesday evening to make it less achy (by about how fantastic your life is for all to temporarily making it more achy – it’s a hear (although if that’s your ideal Sunday conundrum). I’m grateful for the sounds of evening then please, feel free), but a the birds in the morning not because they moment of quiet thanks to yourself when are beautiful, but because I have chosen you remember to buy chocolate to keep in to create a home in a place where I can the house can be wonderful. It takes you experience those sounds. off autopilot, out of negative thought It’s about thanking yourself. Appreciating your own efforts. Loving the things that you do for yourself.
patterns, and hopefully, into a slightly more positive frame of mind for the future.
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I'm Natalie, I'm 25 and I live in Leeds with my partner and our daft cat. I have a fun mixture of Endometriosis, IBS and a variety of mental health conditions. I currently work as an English Teacher, which is hard and hilarious. I enjoy travelling, making things, writing, baking, live music and getting involved in Feminist/LGBTQ social advocacy. My karaoke song is either Thunder Road by Bruce Springsteen or Girls/Girls/Boys by PATD, which more or less sums up everything you need to know about me.
Hey there I'm Gill! I'm 24 and live in the United States (state of New York). I deal with the ins and outs of chronic pain syndrome. I work in a library and I'm studying for my master's degree in library sciences. I live with my cat, and I love going on road trips to see new places, spending hours reading, watching all the Netflix, finding old records for my record player, and finding ways to fit a nap in my day!
I'm Helen, 24 years old and living in rural Leicestershire. Taking the world one day at a time with Fibro and ME, and all the extra problems that tag along for the ride. I love art, drag, museums, theatre and Netflix (totally a hobby). I really want a cat, I count the number of dogs I see each day, and I have an ever-growing collection of pin badges.
I’m Leah, I’m 22, and I live in Florida. I have a service dog named Dyson and he is always by my side. I have Ehlers-Danlos, POTS, Sjögren’s, and more. I love gardening, spending time in nature, and fostering and bottle-feeding puppies for my local animal shelter.
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I'm Caroline, I'm 22 and I live in the Midlands, despite not believing it's a real place. I have PoTS and anxiety. I'm starting my PhD in Mathematical Cogition, having studied Developmental Psych, and outside of writing endless essays I love reading, theatre and ballet, and travelling when I can.
I'm Kate, I'm 24 years old and studying Speech and Language Therapy in Newcastle. I have Left Erbs Palsy, Epilepsy, Migraines, and T2 Diabetes, a real mixed bag! I'm a Christian and I love the theatre, all museums and comedy shows.
I'm Emily and I'm 23 years old, I live in Blackpool with my partner and our two cats, Socks and Bellatrix. I have hEDS, and all the fun that goes along with that. I'm a human Bioscience graduate and I currently work in care supporting physically disabled people!
I am Hannah, 24 years old and live in Lancashire. I have a collection of illnesses - M.E, Fibromyalgia, Anxiety and Depression to name a few. I spend most of my time practicing my yoga, being a badass babe in the gym, crafting and going on adventures with my friends in my car. When i am not pretending to be Dora the explorer, and singing in my car, I volunteer at a mental health organisation, as a mentor which I absolutely love!
Hey! I’m Rachael. I live about as far north of Scotland as you can go without falling in the sea! I was born in Oman, and lived with Malaysia for a few years until my family re-repatriated. I’m 26 and was Pillow Patrol for the Pillow Fighters Club for a number of years! I’ve got Crohn’s Disease, Asthma, Degenerative Discs, Fibromyalgia, ME, Hypermobility and POTS. I’ve never been able to work - but I like to fill my time with hobbies! My favourite colour is green, my favourite movie is Driven to Kill, my favourite book is Memoirs of a Geisha, my favourite TV show is Quantum Leap, my favourite band are Status Quo, who I’ve seen live 17 times and my favourite animals are giraffes, foxes and bats! My ambition for when my health is more under control is to become a paramedic.
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For the unexpected moments
Forthe theunexpected beauty For in mistakes moments Š Helen Gerrard
Artist Spotlight Meet the artist behind Lauratheheroine! Tell us a little about yourself! My name is Laura, I'm 29 and live in the West Midlands in the UK with my parents, brother and my cat Nancy.
How did you get into making art? I've always been interested in art and being creative from a young age. However this year I have been unable to work and I found myself feeling depressed. I started doing little drawings for fun as drawing helped distract me and filled my time. It was my partner Adam that encouraged me to share my drawings and has been very supportive with my health issues and my artwork.
Where do your ideas come from? My ideas come from my love of animals, Film and TV. However what I choose to draw that day is not planned. My ideas just kind of appear in my mind and then I can't wait to get them down. I can draw for hours without noticing the time.
What are you grateful for? I'm grateful I'm still here living when some days it has felt so hard to carry on. I try and keep myself feeling positive and having a sense of humour helps me with my chronic pain and mental health. On the bad days having a cuddle from my cat Nancy or my partner makes it a little easier. I try and tell myself all difficult feelings and emotions eventually pass. A quote from the film The Crow sums it up for me 'It can't rain all the time'.
To see more of Laura’s artwork follow her on Facebook /lauratheheroine and Instagram @lauratheheroine You can also purchase prints on her Etsy /lauratheheroine!
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Avocado Pesto (Vegan and Nut Free) Ingredients
Method
1 cup fresh basil , tightly packed
Add the basil, water, lemon juice, and garlic to a blender or food processor, and process until broken down and relatively smooth.
1/2 cup water 2 Tablespoons fresh lemon juice (about 1 lemon)
2 cloves garlic 1 ripe avocado 1/4 teaspoon sea salt , or more to taste
Add the avocado and salt, and blend again until smooth and creamy. Adjust any seasoning to taste, then serve over your favourite pasta or veggies.
3-ingredient Pancakes (Vegan and Gluten Free) Ingredients
Method
1 banana (ripe)
Grease a pan VERY well so the pancakes won’t start to stick before they’re flip-able. Combine all ingredients with a hand blender, then pour ladles of batter onto the greased skillet. As soon as the pancakes are cooked enough that you can get a pancake flipper underneath without breaking the pancakes, flip and cook an additional minute. The recipe makes 6-7 small pancakes.
1/2 cup of oats 3 1/2 tbsp milk of choice
Cinnamon, chocolate chips, etc. if desired
Grilled Honey Nectarines (Vegetarian and Gluten Free) Ingredients
Method
4 firm nectarines, halved and pitted
Heat a gas grill to medium and oil grates. Alternatively, oil a griddle pan and pre-heat on the stove. Brush nectarines all over with honey. Grill, turning several times, until nectarines are slightly softened and show grill marks, 4 to 5 minutes total. Arrange 2 nectarine halves in each of 4 dessert bowls. Top with ice cream and serve.
1/4 cup of honey 1 pint vanilla ice cream
Stuffed Rainbow Baguette (Vegetarian and Nut Free) Ingredients 1 French-style baguette (GF if desired) 4tbsp hummus
8 slices medium cheddar or vegan cheese 1/4 red pepper, sliced Small handful of cooked beetroot, shredded 1 carrot, shredded Handful of green salad leaves (rocket, arugula, or cress all work well) Method Cut the baguette in half so you can open it out like a book. Spread the hummus over the bottom half of the baguette and add the cheese, breaking the slices up if you need to. Scatter the pepper, beetroot, radish and carrot along the baguette, then add the leaves and close the baguette. Wrap the baguette tightly in baking parchment and tie securely with string. If this is for a picnic, take a bread knife with you so you can slice it when you’re ready to eat it!
Easy Slow-Cooked Chicken Tacos (Nut Free) Ingredients 2-3 (one small package) chicken breasts 1 jar of a salsa you think is good
1 onion, chopped 1 can of black beans, rinsed 1 packet of fajita / taco seasoning Hard or soft taco shells (GF if desired) Lime juice for garnish Cilantro for garnish 1 small jar of Jalapeños for garnish Method Season your chicken with salt and pepper and the taco seasoning to taste, add to a slow cooker and cover with remaining ingredients. Cook for around 3-4 hours on low—don’t take the lid of during cooking! Take the chicken out and shred it once cooked, and return to the pot. Can be used as is, or you can fry batches of it until the majority of the liquid is reduced . Serve the meat inside taco shells, warmed briefly in the oven. Top with cilantro and jalapeños if desired, and serve with microwave rice or nachos.
A sneak peak of next month’s issue!
Next month’s theme will be…
Topics will include surviving and thriving at work, cooking, friendships, relationships, and general adulting. We’ll also discuss how to define your own version of adulthood (because dancing naked to Lizzo at 9pm or eating sugar cereal for dinner totally makes one an adult). 26
With thanks Thank you to the wonderful writers, poets, artists and friends credited throughout who contributed their time, artistry, opinions and skill to this issue. You are all amazing and we’re very grateful indeed. Special thanks also go to you, readers, for supporting this little project! If you enjoyed this issue, please consider sharing these words and pictures with a friend or on your various social media spaces!
Want to contribute? Really? Awesome! You can send your submissions to blanketburritobrigade@mail.com with the subject line ‘Zine Contribution’. Additionally, if you’re working on a cool project, run your own awesome business or generally feel like you’ve got something going on that the world needs to know about, drop us a line and we’ll see how we can help!
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