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July 09 magazine ñThe maga minds your that min business... but business doesn’t dance at office parties!
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il il e m a o ic e m a g e ck v in 1. C h te n t o r me e t ICS is o 2 . L e p a re f E POLIT IC r F P OF 3. e ad 4. R
Damages’ Glenn Close
as usual!
Men in suit s
ean m I ‘ r u o y n o t Pu uit... s r e w o p ’ s s e busin JULY 2009 UK ISSUE 2
TRAINERS ALERT:
A Blank Screen Publishing Publication
Doing the lunchtime run!
Is TV’s law firm general Patty Hewes the epitome of bosses across the globe?
MAKING SURE YOU MEET YOUR WORK TARGETS
How to office part y
properly
contents
ù MEMO
We need to work on our project management to ensure the client’s needs are met
e c i f f O litics po
July 2009 Issue Two
COVER STORY:
THE ULTIMATE BOSS
ñThe ice queen... ‘I said, “No sugar in my tea” – it upsets my dentures!’
13 er... ñMedal pow out be n ai it Will Br en to of recession th ay? give them aw
ñ Opfofliitcices
July 09
ñThe magazine that minds your business... but doesn’t dance at office parties!
!
Do: il il ck ema voic ema 1. Che en to mee ting S 2. List are for POLITIC ICE 3. Prep d OFF 4. Rea
Must
Damages’ Glenn Close
as usual! Is TV’s law firm general Patty Hewes the epitome of bosses across the globe?
Men in suits
mean Put on your ‘I er suit... business’ pow JULY 2009 UK ISSUE 2 A Blank Screen Publishing Publication
COVER PHOTOS: I42.TINYPIC.COM, FA.COM, NATIONAL MAGAZINE COMPANY, YEBN.ORG
ñT dir he r arr ect i igh ow on t to ... fo offi llo ce w t sto he rie s
MAKING SURE YOU MEET YOUR WORK TARGETS
TRAINERS ALERT:
Doing the lunchtime run!
02 Office Politics
How to office party
properly
08
Morning INBOX: OFFICE NEWS
Lunch 06
All the morning updates on everything that affects the office life in sharply-reported news stories
TEA ROUND: COVER STORY – THE BIG BOSS 08 Damages star Glenn Close plays Patty Hewes, a stern and unorthodox chief, and nails the role to perfection. But is she reflective of the real world?
SHORTCUTS: CTRL+ó 12 The weird and wonderful happenings at your workplace. An origami offering is at hand for bored workers - or better yet, you can do the office olympics
WHAT TO DO: TAKING A 16 BREAK You feel like running for lunch so help keep your body in shape this summer. But are you doing it right? WHAT TO EAT: QUICK 18 FIXES Keeping an eye on your shelly belly – get a quick fix of food inside you, and feel okay at your machine again WHAT TO WEAR: POWER 22 SUITS Well, there’s nothing like a suit on a man that gets that point across with affirmation and articulation. So read on, and get your clobber and progress
Af ternoon WORK: ECO DESK 24 WARRIORS Want to take responsibility for your messy desk and ensure you’re thinking of the environment as well.... ? We show you how WORK: OFFICE PARTIES 26 When the office party gets a little informal, handle yourself in the correct manner WORK: TECHNOLOGY 31 The iPhone has upgraded and, if you don’t have one by the time you read this, then don’t worry - neither do we. But take a look at the gallery of images and lure of your potential next prize purchase
contents S THING : TO DO
e Call th or is superv
Conference update!
a Go for t run a ... lunch
Clothes urgency!
Ring client
ork... If ñFancy footw s could le only Paul Scho g for in th do the same Man Utd
20
Ignore office flirt
MEETING TARGETS
RETAIL THERAPY
OFFICE HEALTH
This is probably the hardest objective of all businesses: meeting those, sometimes elusive, targets. We have some valid tips.
Ladies need to impress and look their best this summer and we showcase a range of M&S goods.
The office can be a place where your weight and health are likely to deteriorate but it’s best not to let them slide too much because it can affect work
FIRST DAY AT WORK The nerves are beckoning, the legs are shaking and the voice chords are slightly weak. Going to a new environment can be a little daunting, so what is the best thing to do?
Summer dresses and snappy shirts, and slick suits are the order of the day for the ultimate office garment this season. But has Office Politics picked the best clothing from the decent bunch, we wonder
MORE RETAIL THERAPY
ñSitting pretty... A power suit means you can pretend you’re a deep thinker. Hmmm...
IT SOLUTIONS Stuck at your compvvvuter and not sure which way to turn. Easy. The solution is here.
wn... a ñOnline pra search can quick Google ired lunch lead to an insp
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PHOTOS: MARKSANDSPENCER/ WAITROSE
22
Office Politics 03
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The office... a ‘???’ workplace
Y
ou must be wondering about the question marks. If not, then you understand that the office isn’t simply a British – or an American – workplace. The office in western, modern life is the business home to everyone at some stage who wants to make some money. You have to interact with people you don’t necessarily like, stare at a computer or calculator, send emails, pick up the phone and frequently scream loudly. Why? Because the office is the only practical solution to contain all these elements and assist in the never-dieing aspects of chasing money – hence the number of people in the office. There’s nothing like waking up and heading to that place of joy that will allow you to earn cash which will help you get that 8GB iPod - or something akin. In this second issue of Office Politics the overwhelming presence of the employer is featured. By looking at Glenn Close in Damages, the correlation is made that your supervisor is just as mean, lean and wants to be part of the A-Team. Yep, you talking to me, fool! You may have noticed that being the company’s CEO or owner often requires a sense of leadership that others will define as unjustifiable because it may appear they’re making up the rules as they go along. But no, they’re not. They are making up the rules, though. And that’s the same difference. Email this leader: blankscreenpublishing@live.com
PHOTO: VIRGINMEDIA.COM, VENDORBLOG.WEDDINGWIRE. COM, FILMSTAR, AMMARADOSTENNIS.COM
Editor Office Politics is published by Blank Screen Publishing. For further information, please email: blankscreenpublishing@live.com. Office Politics is an original brand and publication that takes every care to ensure all content is accurate, fair and objective. The publisher regrets that they cannot accept liability for error or omissions that may occur. The copyright of images and articles featured remain with their orginators. Note: no money was made during the production of this, so keep your lawyers away!
04 Office Politics
OFFICE POLITICS NOTE TO SELF LOGGING IN Press Control+Alt+Delete To log into the main system, type in one of the following in lower case: Allthesingleladies and then the correspondingly numbered password: Ifyoulike ditthenyoushouldhaveputaringo nit...oh,oh,oh
ñYour trade is union... is th of g in beginn the end?
small talk What do we speak about with our colleagues first thing in the morning? Nothing much: just cars, football, TV, food and everything else... I wish I’d liked Sunshine Cleaning, a rueful, Sundancey confection from the underrated Christine Jeffs (Sylvia) about two cash-strapped sisters (Amy Adams and Emily Blunt) who move into the niche market of scrubbing down crime
scenes. Films with two good young actresses as the leads are hardly a dime a dozen. Sadly, Megan Holley’s script reminded me of Garden State red rag to a bull, I’m afraid. It’s plainly sentimental under its dressed-down layer of indie grime.
ing Sunshine Clean
GOOGLE TACKLED ON E-MAIL SECURITY Google has been asked to explain why it is not making its Gmail e-mail service more secure. In an open letter to Google boss Eric Schmidt, security
experts, lawyers, and privacy advocates ask why Gmail users are “needlessly” being put at risk. The 38 signatories want Google to start using the secure version of the HTTP protocol to protect Gmail users. In response, Google said it was considering trials of the secure ñSearching... system with a A fraudalent select group of Google? users. “As more of us end up using insecure internet access - such as wi-fi in coffee shops, libraries, and so forth - there’s a real risk of session
hijacking,” said Ben Edelman, a signatory of the letter and assistant professor at Harvard Business School. When users sign on to Gmail, their login name and password are encrypted as the data passes back and forth using the secure version of HTTP known as HTTPS. However, said Mr Edelman, this is turned off once sign-on is completed. A similar system works for Google Docs and Calendar. The risk, he said, was from hitech criminals who snoop on the unencrypted data passing back and forth to steal ID files called “session cookies” generated when these applications start being used. “It’s a frightening prospect,” said Mr Edelman.
ñSwingin’ high... Andy Murray keeps the Brits’ spirits up
ALL THAT RACKET As the second week of Wimbledon gets under way in yet more glorious weather, it occurs that everything about the 2009 Championships has been perfect. Everything except the tennis, that is. Off the court the All England Club has seldom looked lovelier. The sun has shone leaving the new £100m Centre Court roof redundant, the crowds have flocked in record numbers, the new No 2 court is a splendid addition to the complex, and even cash-strapped corporate Britain has managed to find some slack in its collective expense account to keep the party going in the hospitality marquees. In short, the garden party swimmingly. going is Unfortunately the same cannot be said of the sport that is the excuse for all this mid-summer jollity. DAD SAYS BEAT IT Michael Jackson’s father has said the family will wait for the results of a second postmortem before finalising plans for the pop stars’s funeral. Office Politics 05
inbox What l is festiva ? for me See page 32 to decide...
BACKING FOR VICTIMISED CARPHONE REPS CWU anger at the victimisation of two CWU reps at Carphone Warehouse’s logistics depot in Wednesbury in the West Midlands has entered a new phase with support being garnered from an overseas union leader and a leading human rights lawyer. “The two reps, both of whom are Asian, were suspended - one, Sulinder Kumar, has been already been sacked, and the other, Kulwinder Plaha, is still awaiting a disciplinary hearing. The CWU is convinced the suspensions and sacking represent a clear case of union-busting activity by a company determined to do its utmost to prevent the establishment of trade union organisation at the site.
WORDS: THE GUARDIAN/ BBC , TUC, UNITE IMAGE: APPRENTICE MAAZINE
ù MEMO
If you decide to throw food waste in the paper recycling bin, you will be notified of an official warning!
06 Office Politics
news
More like the 1980s recession than the 1990s, says TUC report This recession is more like the deep 1980s recession than the more shallow 1990s downturn with unemployment rates rising much faster than in the 1990s, a reopening of the regional divide in unemployment and a steeper fall in output than the 1990s, says the TUC. The TUC’s latest recession report uses official figures to compare the current recession with those of the 1980s and the 1990s. It concludes that: While last week’s unemployment figures may not have been as bad as some expected, analysts who found them encouraging were overoptimistic as the gap between numbers losing their jobs and those finding new ones is greater than at any time during the 1990s recession. Looking at the first four quarters of rising unemployment during each recession, the TUC has calculated that the rate of unemployment has increased faster during this recession (30 per cent) than in the 1990s recession (22 per cent) and the 1980s recession, when the rate of increase was 29 per cent. The decline in GDP for this year is predicted to be around 3.8 per cent. Over the entire
1990s recession there was a 2.5 per fall in growth, and over the full course of the 1980s downturn the economy shrank by 4.6 per cent. While we only
have predictions for the rest of this recession, analysis suggests that we are almost certain to experience GDP declines closer to those of the 1980s than the 1990s.
The TUC report shows that while the roots of the recession may lie in the City of London, unemployment is increasing much faster in other regions. For example, in the North East claimant count unemployment has gone up from 3.9 per cent of the workforce to 6.4 per cent - up 2.5 percentage points. In London it has gone up 1.1 percentage points - from 2.7 per cent to 3.8 per cent. Both Wales and the West Midlands also have increases of 2.3 percentage points, more than twice that of London. TUC General Secretary Brendan Barber said: “The Chancellor is likely to be right when he says that this is the
“The biggest quarterly gap between unemployed and those starting work in the 1990s recession was 78,700” The biggest quarterly gap between those starting to claim unemployment benefits and those leaving the claimant count in the 1990s recession was 78,700, yet between Q4 of 2008 and Q1 of 2009 the difference was 91,900.
worst recession for 60 years. The overall picture for jobs and growth is considerably already bleaker than the last recession, and, therefore, it is without a doubt, looking much more like the deep recession of the 1980s every day”
Legal & General job losses is ‘a bitter loss’, cries Unite’s leader Rob MacGregor, Unite national officer said: “Further job losses in the financial services industry come as a bitter loss. News that Legal and General is to cut 200 staff predominately from Cardiff and Hove, as well as other sites, will be a heavy blow.
The staff working in the finance sector have already in 2009 seen over 20,000 job losses. “Job losses at these important Legal and General sites will really hurt the communities in Wales and Brighton. Unite will now argue strongly against any
compulsory job losses and fight to get the best possible solution for those workers who are affected.” For more information contact: Saba Mozakka, Unite press office on: 020 7420 8916 or 07768 693 953.
news
inbox
Employers must plan ahead for hotter summers t output
an af fec c s e g n a h c r e h Weat
ñToo hot to trot... Having good weather may not have the desired effect
that governments of the world strike a deal and prevent further damaging climate change when they meet in Copenhagen at the end of the year. ‘The projections also show some damage to the world’s
climate has already been done and so we have to adapt now. Rising temperatures, the risk of floods, disruption to travel plans - all of these changes will impact on the workplace. There is much that employers could be doing
PWC GETS COLOURFUL IN THE OFFICE It all sounds logical enough, but does anyone in the real world take any notice of this stuff? Well, as it happens, accountancy firm PriceWaterhouseCoopers (PWC) takes colour very seriously. So much so, they have a department devoted to it. Anne Muirhead is the head of the future working environment team at PWC and says that colour is an essential par t of figuring out how to create an environment in which people will want to spend time. ‘We spend a lot of time looking at trends, and how people at school and university
now - our future potential employees - might like to work,’ she says. ‘We discovered that they didn’t want plain white or grey walls - they wanted an environment that affected them psychologically in a positive way.’ As a result, ever y time PWC refurbishes or opens a new office, employees attend a series of workshops to help choose colours and to ensure ever y floor is different. Office manager Gordon McIntosh was involved in choosing colours for PWC’s Glasgow office. “Before, the office was rather drab with white walls.
Now I have mainly yellows and blues - but it’s nice to go to another floor and find a completely different atmosphere,” he says. “It’s definitely made a difference to my work.” Muirhead agrees. “The introduction of colour, and that people were given a choice, has made a measurable difference,” she says. “They have a sense of ownership and take care of the space better. But it also affects your mood - when I look up, I am staring at something designed to be calming, imitate natural light, or to help me feel more upbeat.”
now to plan for how changes in the UK’s climate could alter the lives of their employees and the way they work. ‘Employers who are serious about climate change will reap the benefits.’
Best British employers Every issue we’ll list some of the heavyhitters that your company should be trying to live up to FINANCIAL SERVICES DEUTSCHE BANK LAW BREEZE BENTON TELECOMMUNICATIONS SONY ERICCSON PHARMACEUTICALS GLAXOSMITHKLINE PUBLISHING IPC MEDIA LTD Office Politics 07
WORDS: THE GUARDIAN/ BBC, TUC PHOTO: APPRENTICE MAGAZINE
Commenting on the Government’s UK Climate Projections data, TUC General Secretary Brendan Barber said: ‘Today’s predictions of much hotter summers for the UK in years to come make it crucial
tea round
cover story
e h t s e w He
Boss?
at... ñCheers to th as n so Ted Dan her Arthur Frobis
Playing Patty Hewes in the law drama Damages, Glenn Close epitomises the weird and wonderful strength of bosses around the world. Here, she reveals the tricks to getting her Hewes character portrayal just right
H
WORDS: YVADDICT.COM PHOTOS: FARM2.STATIC.FLICKR.COM, MEDIA.PHOTOBUCKET.COM
ow much information you were given ahead of time about Patty’s character? How much did you create in your own mind for her and tell us how that shaped your portrayal of this character? I had gone with the writers to meet Mary Jo White and her partner. Mary Jo was just an iconic lawyer who was the DA here and we got a lot of information out of her. I knew that I wanted to be a woman who was at the top of her game, who was highly intelligent and highly capable, really formidable, because you have to be if you’re the head of a firm.To get where she is in this profession, you have to be a thousand times better than any guy that you’re going to be standing next to. So that was important to me. Patty is essentially a very morally ambiguous character. How you approach that as an actor? Do you feel that she is the hero in her own story? Is she evil or is she 08 Office Politics
just willing to win no matter what the moral cost? I have the belief that truly evil people – it’s a genetic evil. I only have the experience of exploring the landscape of some of the characters I’ve played that people have labelled as evil; I don’t think they’re evil. Because as an actor, I really feel you cannot judge a character.You have to totally commit to that character. And for me to totally commit to the character, I have to find those places where I understand the sequence of behaviour. So I do not think Patty even a hero in her own mind. She’s very vulnerable, as far as her son is concerned. I think she realises that she truly is not a great mother. She has regrets. I don’t think she’s a settled soul, and I don’t know if she ever would be a settled soul. I think she’s very conflicted, and I really like that about her. Of all the great characters that you’ve had the opportunity to portray, where does
be seductive. There are times when she’s feminine and when she’s more kind of aggressive”
Patty Hewes rank on that? Could she be considered a favourite, or most unpredictable, or most challenging and why? She’s remaining one of the most challenging for that very fact that I don’t know everything about her yet. So I find that as an actor to be very challenging. I’ve kind of gotten used to that. And I kind of cling to the knowledge, really, that most of us cover up 99.9% of what’s really going on all the time. I think human beings are masters at not showing what’s really going on in their head or in their heart and sometimes showing the opposite of what’s really going on. So I think up until now, my behaviour as Patty has been pretty valid. It’s just going to get more and more emotionally complex for me and that’s a thrilling proposition. We’ve kind of seen Ellen (Rose Byrne) go from doe-eyed lawyer to cutthroat negotiator. Do you think Patty sees herself in Ellen as a protégé or has she always been part of that manipulation of the end game? Ruthless? I think over the course of these various episodes that Patty, whether she’ll fully admit it or not, develops a respect for Ellen’s talents and for who she is as a human being. I don’t think Patty considers herself a great mentor. She’s too competitive for that.There are certain things about Ellen, her youth for one thing, that she has no tools to compete against. She’s always kind of hovering between developing her or nurturing her and making sure she’s not going to invade her territory. So it makes a very kind of juicy relationship. But I think as they bond with some of the things that they do that only they know about, that there is something that’s starting to form in their relationship, where I think
Patty does care about Ellen and doesn’t just see her, as she did in the beginning, as only a means to get to Katie Connor. For your character, Patty, you had spoken to a former DA but who or what else inspired this character, because she is such a force. Can you elaborate on where you’re drawing from for this character? I was very impressed by another top woman litigator in New York called Patricia Hines and sat down with her and learned some extraordinary things about, first of all, what it means to take on a huge case that might go on for five years. She herself reads over 10,000 documents, because she has a mind for documents. And when she gives her opening statement and her closing statement, it’s extemporaneous, which I find mind-boggling. And I said to myself, I want to be like that. I also have read certain things written by women litigators and not overtly, but definitely there with all the women that I talked to. I also talked to Lorna Scoffield, who was Mary Jo White’s partner, there is always a gender issue. That it’s problematic to be a woman and go into a courtroom against very, very aggressive males, how they get power and how they maintain that power. There are times when she could be seductive. There are times when she’s feminine and there are times when she’s much more kind of aggressive. But she’s going for it, and I think there’s a certain anger in her, which I sensed in some of these women that what it took to get to where they are, some unpleasant things. And that was one of the really fascinating aspects of this character that pulled me in was what does it mean to be in power, ahead of your game, the top of your game and be a woman?
Have you felt like you’ve really grown or learned something new or maybe been challenged in a way? What has been kind of the most rewarding part of it for you, this whole experience of Damages? I feel I’ve been very challenged and that was fun. When you’re on the set, and sometimes, because it’s been so complex and the writers have been really writing, sometimes up until the last minute and we get — for example, the deposition scene between Ted Danson and myself, we got the night before, like 11 o’clock the night before, and that was a lot of words. And you kind of sit back; you separate yourself from your brain, and you say, let me see if you can do this. And that’s the kind of challenge I like. And the writers are good in that it’s easy to memorise, and good writing has an innate rhythm to it. And I’ve always felt that it’s easier to get in your head than writing that has very kind of mind-busting moments. And those moments that I find mind busting. Meaning like there’s a word that I find in a weird place. I love the process of going to the writer and working that out, because that’s just basic communication. So you have the challenge of just learning the lines, period, and not only learning them, but learning them to the extent that you assimilate them, so that you’re not worried about what the next word is coming out of your mouth when it comes to doing a scene. And you’re also in the trenches with the writers, just in the wonderful kind of back and forth of how is it best to say something, even if it involves four or five words. I love that kind of thing. Office Politics 09
PHOTO: MEDIA.PHOTOBUCKET.COM
“There are times when she could
ñPatiently waiting... Rose Byrne plays new law grad Ellen taken under Patty’s wing
work
business talk
MEETING TARGETS
Struggling to make those deadlines meet, or haven’t found the best solution to drive the business forward, then why not follow some essential rules and notes to achieve your goals
WORDS: GILES MORRIS, THE GUARDIAN PHOTO: YEBN.ORG
ñTable manners... Get your figures in order for those agendasetting meetings
10 Office Politics
WHILE
KEEPING TO YOUR OBJECTIVES “You should
OFFICE JOKE An employee who had a terrible history for taking time off phoned in again one Monday morning: “I’m sorry, but I’ll not be able to come in today as I’m too sick,” he said. On hearing this his exasperated boss could
year and that come April, you will get a bonus, the sack or a kick in the pants. But that is a poor motivator for keeping you beavering away over the next 53 minutes until knocking-off time. It’s a problem that has long beset travelling salespeople, and the reason why you’ll often find one of their ilk skulking in the saloon bar of the pub on any given afternoon, having forsaken sales knockbacks to knock back large gin and tonics. The temptation for office-based target slaves is not the pub but the web. If you’ve ever spent an idle workplace moment looking up someone you once went out with on Facebook, browsing discussion boards full of people with weird opinions about 80s pop stars, or wondering if internet poker might put the excitement back into your life, you’re already on the slippery slope. And when you yourself start pontificating about the relative merits of Terence Trent D’Arby and Limahl, or challenging all-comers at Texas Hold ‘Em, count yourself one of the truly lost. But there are lots of ways to keep yourself work-focused. You could put a graph of your progress on the wall. Or find another target slave and let off party poppers whenever you make a sale. But bear in mind RULE THREE, which is: don’t get too successful. Overshooting your targets is likely to lead to one awful outcome: management will simply increase them next year. At which point your next workplace target might be this: a photo of your boss pasted over a dartboard.
ñ A live document... A sample of TNS meeting its deadlines
ù MEMO
barely conceal his anger and retorted in a rage: “Well, just how sick are you?” “Well,” the employee paused and then sighed, “I’m in bed with my sister!” Send jokes to: blankscreenpublishing@live.com
A meeting room on the second floor has been booked. If you decline its usage then please email HR.
PHOTO: EXOTICDANCECENTRAL.COM
I
f you’re a pessimist, on the other hand, you’re likely to see targets as little more than a convenient stick for your line manager to beat you with at your appraisal, claiming that on the basis of past performance you barely deserve a salary, let alone a bonus. No matter where you stand in life’s great disagreement between the positive-thinkers and the doom-heads, there’s an old saying: hope for the best and prepare for the worst. So let’s run through the basic rules that will keep you safe and sound in targetland. RULE ONE is to under-promise and overdeliver. Always try to be there when targets are set and do what you can to squeeze down expectations. Ideally, your one, over-riding target should be just turning up in the morning. Making the tea, answering your phone and staying until 5pm (most days) should be key performance indicators. This is not shirking, it’s expectation management. Of course, target negotiation will not all go your way, so when any particular goal looks challenging, say: “That’s going to be a bit of a stretch target.” Try to get the word “stretch” written down. It’s a corporate euphemism for “impossible”, and it’s the ace up your sleeve for when they come to assess your performance at the end of the year. Now, with targets massaged and expectations managed, let’s move on to RULE TWO: keep yourself motivated. Morale slumps are the great curse of the target slave. You know your goal for the financial
always try to be there when targets are set and do what you can to squeeze down the expectations ”
Office Politics 11
shortcuts
almost lunch
y m r a b Going I M A G I R for O
Caught twiddling your fingers every now and then. It’s time to get creative – grab some paper and watch your inner child emerge 1 Fold the paper from one corner. Line up the adjacent sides. Make or acquire a square piece of paper. To make your own square paper, fold a sheet of paper so that it makes a triangle. 2. Cut off the extra.Cut the excess paper away. 3. Fold both diagonals from the same side of the sheet.Fold the paper diagonally in both directions from the same side of the sheet, making two “valley” folds. 4. Turn it over.Unfold and turn the paper over. 5. Fold horizontally and vertically from the other side.Fold the paper in half horizontally and and then vertically from the other side of the piece of paper. 6. Bring the corners together. 7. Flatten into a square. Bring all of the corners into the center and fold the paper into a square. 8. Open edge folded to center line. Repeat for each open edge.Fold all the OPEN edges to the center line. Make sure each of the edges are aligned with the center line. Repeat for each open edge. 9. Open your last fold(s)Gently unfold the edges. 10. Tuck the corner to the inside of the paper, and do this along the creased lines you have ORIGAMI BIRDS CONTINUED ON PAGE 17
Code of Conduct
WORDS: OFFICE ORIGAMI PHOTO: ISTOCKPHOTOS
There are codes of conduct within each company. Each issue we’ll put a snippet of one. ¸ 2.1 Persons Subject to the Code shall observe both general provisions (Laws, regulations, circulars issued by supervisory bodies, etc.) and the Group’s internal regulations (including, where applicable, the Money Laundering Prevention Manual and the Code ofConduct for Securities Markets) applicable to their sphere of activity. To the extent that such regulations establish stricter obligations than those stated in this document, they will take preference over those contemplated herein. ¸2.2. Any person Subject to the Code who is charged or accused in any criminal
12 Office Politics
or administrative legal proceedings should notify Compliance Management as soon as possible. ¸2.3. Furthermore, such persons shall follow an upright, impartial and honest professional conduct, consistent with the Group’s corporate social responsibility principles.They shall abstain from participating in illegal or immoral activities or from attracting business to the Group from such activities. Frequent visits to casinos and gambling or betting activities in general are considered inadvisable. Under no account may they be carried out with persons maintaining any type of professional or customer relationship with the Group. ¸ 3. Exclusivity. Persons Subject to the Code should focus on carrying out their
responsibilities within the Group to the highest standards. They may not provide professional services - remunerated or otherwise, and based on whatever relationship - to customers of the Group, except with the express authorisation of Compliance Management. ¸ 4. Responsibility. Persons Subject to the Code shall use their technical and professional operation in question, and where applicable, to the rules and rates established by the Group. (iii) They shall apply the procedures established internally, especially with respect to risk authorisations and limits. (iv) They shall keep accurate and strict accounting records of all operations contracted, and maintain with equal criteria the files and registers required in their activity.
shortcuts
How to have an olympics IN THE OFFICE) (...IN 2012
SHOW US YOUR DRAWERS Everything a chap needs to stay clean, fresh and well shod 1. DISPOSABLE CAMERA This has been here since Christmas. They were handed out before a party, I dread to think what might be on there. Actually I haven’t had it processed because I’d put on weight around then! 2. HAYFEVER MEDICINE I don’t normally get it, but this year I’ve been sneezing nonstop. 3. DIY CATALOGUE I’ve just moved house, which means I spend my life buying screws, shelves, curtain rails and lord knows what else. I actually enjoy it though.
N
ot long to go now.The Olympics are almost upon us. But not quite - and in the meantime, it’s worth getting your colleagues in the right mood, by planning an office olympics.There are two types of games: the official type - organised by your well-meaning but tragically misguided boss; and the covert - planned and executed by you, the employees, right under his nose. Company-endorsed sports days are usually pretty lame. Friday afternoon, your boss will emerge from his den in a Liverpool shirt that hasn’t fitted him since the 80s, and some form of wacky headgear.You’ll then depart en masse for the nearest park, where several hours of rounders will ensue. Proceedings will come to a halt only when it is realised
that the team batting next have escaped to the pub. This is not how you have an office olympics.To really capture the spirit of the games, you’ll have to be far more creative. The events you choose will be largely determined by the enthusiasm of your colleagues and the limitations of your office space. Here are a few ideas: MARATHON RACE to your sister branch in the neighbouring city and back, in full suit and tie/ skirt and heels. JAVELIN SHARPEN a pencil, then take a nice long run-up and hurl it across the office. Automatic gold medal if it lands in the bin. 100M HURDLES Place a trail of swivel chairs along your main corridor. And no pushing them out of the way. WEIGHTLIFTING Ask your
colleagues to line up in order of weight, then try lifting each of them over your head. THE HAMMER Spin your computer mouse around your head, then unleash it across the car park. VOLLEYBALL Screw up your annual appraisal into a ball and lob it over to your colleague sitting opposite. Medal ceremonies will consist of your line manager placing a digestive biscuit stuck to a piece of string around your neck, while you sing your national anthem, struggling not to cry. Your national anthem will ideally be the advertising jingle of your company (“Where in the world? PC World!”), failing that, God Save the Queen will have to do. Congratulations, you’ve finished your first office olympics!
4. DICTIONARY I’ve got the world’s worst spelling. I get it out occasionally if I’m writing on paper. 5. CLOTHES BRUSH I hate lint and bits of rubbish that get stuck to your clothes. So occasionally during the day you’ll see me furiously brushing myself down. 6. READING GLASSES I keep a pair here at work now and a pair at home so I don’t end up forgetting them in either place. 7. STATIONERY BOX I sometimes have to put together little ideas sheets, which is exciting because I get to cut and glue things like a primary school kid. All of my fun stuff, glue and glitter and bows and things, lives in this box. Although I can’t find my scissors. Office Politics 13
WORDS: SJON BENTHAM, RAVI SOMAIYA, THE GUARDIAN PHOTO: MEDIA.PHOTOBUCKET.,LONDONOLYMPICS2012.CA
Fun, fr
n desk. Nice w o r u o y t a d n iendly a
work
first day @ work The nerves are beckoning, legs are shaking and the voice chords are hoarse. Going to a new environment can be daunting, so what is the best thing to do?
W WORDS: ALICE WIGNALL, THE GUARDIAN IPHOTOS: .IGNITINGUSIMAGES
hile slinging back a cocktail in my local booze emporium the other night I heard an interesting snatch of conversation. Through flagrant eavesdropping I was able to figure out most of the backstory: the two women were old friends who had whether through happenstance or nefarious nepotism - recently also become colleagues. The
14 Office Politics
New Girl was telling the Old Hand that a third colleague had recently cornered her and began an almighty rant about the company, the office and everyone who worked in it. “I just think she should have waited until she had got to know me a bit better before she did that,” complained New Girl. “I mean, I’ve only just started. How can she even be sure that I like slagging people off?”
“You do though,” replied Old Hand. New Girl stared thoughtfully into her mojito. “Yeah,” she said. “But she doesn’t know that.” All of which made me think: it’s tough being the new starter in an office, but it’s just as complicated if you’re the person meeting a new starter, when you’ve been in your job for so long you can even remember your company’s fax number.
“It’s tough being the new starter in an office, but it’s just as complicated meeting a new starter”
work
SOCIOPATHIC TENDENCIES So all the new recruit has to do is smile and keep their more sociopathic tendencies to themselves for a week or two. It’s much more complicated for the people welcoming them in. Of course, your better instincts will tell you to be friendly, give them the grand tour (“This is the coffee machine. This is the loo. This is the rubber plant. That’s it”) and invite them out to lunch. Take heed. Yes, you’ll
win the eternal gratitude of the newbie and be their first office friend. But you could be saddling yourself with someone who is, basically, a loser. Are you sure you want to take that risk and befriend someone who has the same capacity for good times as Eeyore does, just for the sake of a grateful smile?
POST-WORK DRINKS It’s no wiser, of course, to take the opposite approach. Donning your shades and plugging in your iPod, bestowing the merest twitch of a nod on the poor trembling recruit in order to demonstrate your unassailable cool is all very well. To a point. But within two weeks, you’ll start hearing about amazing post-work drinks that end up involving minor celebrities, threats of arrest and crashing the suite at Claridges, all revolving around “Dave. You know, who just joined? What a top bloke!”. Worst of all, however, is the person who tries to reinvent themselves for the
ew job ay in the n d t rs fi r u o you to set So it’s y ps to help ti w fe a re here a right foot: off on the rks.... On your ma
new kid on the block. Acting as though you’re busy and important when in fact you have slightly less standing than the person who cleans the nozzle on the mustard dispenser in the canteen. Putting the smooth moves on the incomer, when your lack of ability at flirting and seduction is matched only by your disastrous dress sense and corrosive halitosis. Or pretending that you’re friendly and welcoming when you’re anything but, and your eyes are sizing up your potential new target at the same time as your mouth is shaping sugary words of welcome. If you attempt any of these things in the hope that your colleagues - through loyalty born of long acquaintance - will back you up you are both duplicitous and deluded. So it’s a tense time for all concerned. But the most important thing to remember is this: if you’re going to star t bitching to the new girl maybe leave it a week or two. And make sure she doesn’t have any old friends in the office first.
“Keep your mouth relatively shut!” FIND YOUR FEET * AS SOON AS FEASIBLY POSSIBLE REQUEST A MEETING WITH YOUR
* KEEP YOUR EYES AND
NEW BOSS TO RUN THROUGH YOUR
EARS OPEN AND YOUR MOUTH
JOB DESCRIPTION. ASK QUESTIONS.
IMPACT YOU MAKE IN THE FIRST
RELATIVELY SHUT FOR THE FIRST
BETTER TO BE HONEST NOW WHILE
FEW DAYS WILL HAVE A LASTING
FEW DAYS UNTIL YOU ESTABLISH
YOU ARE BEING ‘CHAMPIONED’
EFFECT ON THE WAY YOU ARE
THE LAY OF THE LAND.
RATHER THAN 6 MONTHS DOWN
* REMEMBER THAT THE
PERCEIVED BY YOUR EMPLOYER AND OTHER STAFF.
* MAKE A POINT OF REMEMBERING THE NAMES OF
THE LINE. * ESTABLISH WHERE YOU FIT
ù
THE PEOPLE YOU WILL COME INTO
INTO THE HEIRARCHY OF THE
ADOPT A NEW APPROACH RE
CONTACT WITH REGULARLY (JOT
HOUSEHOLD - YOU DON’T WANT
AREAS THAT, IN THE PAST,YOU HAD
THEM DOWN IN YOUR LITTLE
TO BE SEEN DELEGATING TO STAFF
PROBLEMS WITH E.G. DELEGATING,
BLACK BOOK IF IT HELPS).
WHO ARE NOT WITHIN YOUR REMIT
* USE THE OPPORTUNITY TO
COMMUNICATING.
* WATCH, LISTEN AND, IF IN DOUBT, ASK!
OR FAILING TO DIRECT SOMEONE WHO IS.
U MEMO
Please be gentle on the new girl this morning. She used to work in a kitchen so as a admin exec, it’s a big step
Office Politics 15
WORDS: APPRENTICE MAGAZINE
The main thing the new arrival has to worry about is the possibility that no one will talk to them, as though the team they are joining is such a perfectly content and finely balanced clique that there is no space to admit another. This is nonsense. Offices love it when fresh blood arrives, mainly because they are so sick to death of each other they even get excited when a courier turns up. At least he grunts, “Sign here” in a way that they haven’t already heard a million times.
log out nc lu h
∑
exercise
Running to beat the corporate slog It’s easy to let the posture flag when you’re at your desk all day. You’ve decided to get fit and running at lunch is your main objective
ñQuiet as a mouse... that lunch time stroll can put the mind at ease
RUN: LUNCH
new get my ... rs traine drink more water
WORDS: MAXIM; PHOTO: MEGANPRAZ.COM, GOHEALTHYGOFIT.COM
ù MEMO
Staff that insist on using the toilets as a shower will be told to clean the floors up as soon as they’re notified.
01 16 Office Politics
W
hether you’re a trembly-kneed beginner or a footsore veteran, it’s never too late to learn more about the world’s oldest form of fitness.
See a specialist to improve your running style. It could be a coach or a podiatrist, but even a member of staff in a good running shop will be able to analyse the way you run and offer tips.
WATCH YOUR FOOTING
GET PUMPING
‘Make sure your heel strikes the ground first, rather than the ball of your foot,’ advises Sajjad Afzal, a podiatrist to UK athletes. ‘Run smoothly and rhythmically.’ If you hit the ground with the side or the ball of your foot, it will roll. This has a domino effect on the rest of the body and can cause common running injuries such as shin splints, ‘runner’s knee’ and back pain.
Move your arms more. ‘If your arms go forward, your knees will go forward – that’s how our bodies are made,’ says personal trainer John Munroe. ‘If you have a bigger range of movement with your arms, your legs will have a greater movement too. And if you move your arms really quickly, your legs will move really quickly!’
BE STYLE CONSCIOUS
JUDGE YOUR PACE It may sound obvious but if you want to run a fast marathon
or 10k race, you first have to learn how to judge your speed and maintain consistency. ‘Paula Radcliffe knows by the way her foot strikes the ground how fast she is running and will hit that mile marker at five mins 15 secs, or three to four seconds either side of that, every time,’ says Munroe. ‘Start by running three eight-minute miles in a week.The next week try to beat that. If you do this you’ll get quicker.’ Over a period of time you will learn to work out your speed.
BE PROGRESSIVE Don’t train too hard too soon. If you do you will increase your risk of injury or plain, simple fatigue. Many newcomers give up because they’ve tried to go too
lunch ORIGAMI BIRD CONTINUED FROM PAGE 12
ñThe wire... Leaving the office proved to be a harder than expected
far, too fast and have failed. their time for you.
WORK IT! That’s no excuse to slack. Work hard and remember that you get out of running what you put in.
TEST YOURSELF
stability. Do a weekly session of circuit training to make sure the whole body is getting a workout. A session should include pressups, crunches, jump squats, burpees, reverse curls, split jumps and running on the spot with high knees. .
runs. The idea is to run flat out, jog for a while, then sprint again. If you want something a little more structured try this programme, devised by personal coach and ex-international long jumper John Munroe. Pick two trees about 30 metres apart. Run 60 per cent of your top speed or maximum heart rate and jog back. On the second go, run at 70 per cent and jog back and then at 80 per cent and then back to 60. Do this for ten minutes.
Compete in races as part of a plan to gauge fitness, progression and race pace. Putting races in your calendar will also force you to train harder.
SHAKE UP YOUR TRAINING
SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE
“Don’t train too hard too soon.
Don’t ignore the rest of your body. Running doesn’t just require strong legs and a good pair of lungs.To hold your body in the right running posture over the distance requires strong core
Try Fartlek training. Developed in the 1930s, this is a less structured form of interval training, and something you can easily do while out on your
If you do you will increase your risk of injury or plain, simple fatigue”
made. Tuck it fully inside along the previously creased lines.Tuck the corner into the inside of the paper, and do this along the creased lines. 11. Creation with all four open or “raw” edges tucked inside.Do this for all of the open edges. You will end up with a kite shape. 12. Fold the top point down. Flatten it completely downward.Take the top flap of the more acutely pointed end of the kite and gently fold it down until it’s smooth. Repeat with the reverse side. 13. New “diamond” shape with split point “up”. Pull a point down and reverse its middle crease.Hold your new “diamond” shape with the split end up. Gently pull down one of the split ends and fold it so that it points straight out at a 90 degree angle from the rest of the diamond. 14. Pull down, reverse crease - the base of the point should now be INSIDE the main body of your creation. 15. Both points pulled down and reverse creased. Repeat last step with the opposite side (split) point. Turn the figure over. 16. Pinch the tip of the head point flat (your thumb should be inside the fold), turn it slightly down and reverse its crease to make the head.Pull down the “head” and reverse its crease toward the neck. 17.Curl the wings slightly. Lift the “wings” and curl them slightly. 18. Finished birdMake your bird flap its “wings” by holding the chest of the bird with one hand and gently pulling back on the tail. Enjoy! Office Politics 17
lunch
Á
something new
Not sure what to eat at lunch, but don’t want anything that leaves you bloated. Follow the instructions below and try an easy-to-do meal, with a little help from Waitrose Beef and Blackbean sauce Serves: 4 Prep time : 20 minutes Cook time : 8 minutes Total time : 28 minutes 250g rump steak 1 tsp cornflour 1 tbsp oyster sauce 1 tsp black bean sauce 3 tbsp white wine 1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
11⁄2 tbsp vegetable oil 2 small leeks, thinly sliced 1. Slice the steak thinly across the grain and place in a bowl to marinate with the cornflour. 2. Mix the oyster sauce with the black bean sauce, wine and pepper. 3. Heat the wok, add the oil and quickly stir-fry the leeks. Remove to a plate. In the same wok,
Serves: 2 Prep time : 20 minutes Cook time : 45 minutes Total time : 65 minutes
sa Prawn lak
WORDS:/PHOTOS: WAITROSE
h... ñSmooth dis for a ns aw pr Lovely ht lunching delig
EASY TO MAKE,
21kg large prawns 3 tbsp laksa paste (available from all major supermarkets) 1 tsp brown sugar 2 limes, 400g can reduced-fat coconut milk 1 tbsp vegetable oil 2 tbsp Thai fish sauce 150g trimmed French beans, halved 200g straight-to-wok egg noodles 250g bean sprouts 100g bunch spring onions, trimmed, and finely chopped A small bunch fresh coriander, coarsely chopped 1. Remove heads and shells from prawns (or soup up your laksa by leaving tail shells intact) and run a sharp knife along the back of each to remove the black vein.
DELICIOUS TO TASTE
2. Toss the shells and heads into your pan,
18 Office Politics
(opposite page)
cover with 750ml of water and simmer for 15 minutes. Sieve out the prawny bits and set aside. 3. Return the pan to the heat and fill it with boiling water. Plunge in the green beans and the noodles for 30 seconds, then strain and set aside. 4. Over a medium heat, fry the laksa paste in the vegetable oil for 5 minutes. Add the juice of one lime, sugar and fish sauce. Then gradually pour in the prawn stock and coconut milk. 5. Simmer for another 5 minutes, and then add the bean sprouts and prawns. Cook until the prawns are piping hot and pink (usually about 8 minutes). 6. Finally, chuck the beans, spring onions and chopped coriander into the laksa mix. Share the noodles between four deep bowls and spoon over the broth. Serve with lime wedges, bibs and splatter screens.on top. Crumble the cheese over and serve immediately.
r o f s e p i Rec
N O I T C E F PER
... a splendid ñBeefy dish nch time rush meal for the lu
Office Politics 19
lunch
Á
retail
fashion victim Still wearing those items from last season, but can’t afford top-range prices. Never mind – with a selection of quality dresses and accessories, your local M&S can help you out
M&S DRESS / BELT £60
M&S DRESS/BELT £49.50 BAG £19.50 PUMPS £25
20 Office Politics
meeting
M&S DRESS £60 BELT £89 BANGLE £20
PHOTOS: M&S
M&S DRESS £65 RING £7.50
Office Politics 21
lunch
Á
retail There’s nothing like a power suit to command attention and determine an aura of respect. Grab one off the rack now and then tally up those stares
S T I U S POWER
WORDS: MICHAEL A. LUBARSKY, ASKMEN.COM; PHOTO: M&S, FA.COM
E
SUIT £200 M&S
22 Office Politics
very man needs at least one suit that exudes power, prestige and classic refinement. The power suit is a vital component of any man’s wardrobe regardless of his profession because it serves as his modernday suit of armor. There are, however, several key elements to consider before transforming into a 21st-century gladiator. The purpose of the power suit is to project unrelenting, untouchable power in the face of adversity without saying a word. The moment you require a power suit is not the same moment to show off your penchant for window-check, navy blue suits. Nor is it the moment to break out your collection of mockneck shirts that all your golfing buddies swear you can wear under a suit to imitate the Hollywoodchic look.
You will wear a tie because that is what men of power wear; and you will wear only the finest leather shoes you can afford. A power suit demands to be in dark shades of blue, charcoal or a very dark brown with an exquisite silk tie in deep, rich tones. Black is always an option, but more appropriate for tuxedos and funerals. Herewith are three suit options to face the world with in 2007.
SUIT: BROOKS BROTHERS FITZGERALD For the younger man the new Brooks Brothers Fitzgerald suit, which is fashioned after the suits worn by President Kennedy, is a good bet to gain the proper respect and attention of your colleagues and superiors. The lines are subtle and the cut projects youthful vigor. Black always looks good for this fitted look, but consider a more flexible charcoal gray that may be worn all year round and in a variety of professional environments.
SHOES: COLE HAAN OXFORDS Pair the Fitzgerald suit with black Cole Haan cap-toe oxford laceups and you have a timeless look perfect for year-round wear. The simplicity of these shoes cannot be denied. The subtle
top stitching and medium vamp create a versatile dress shoe. Most importantly, the toe box is narrower than a traditional wingtip, but the curve is gentle and modern, befitting the updated styling of the Fitzgerald suit.
ACCESSORIES: HALLIBURTON BRIEFCASE Carry only the documents you need in a slim attaché case sans buckles or shoulder straps such as the Zero in full-grain leather by Halliburton. The leather gives it a decidedly traditional edge, while the shape and size are functional.
SUIT: RALPH LAUREN’S WIDE STRIPE The penultimate power suit today is the subtle peak lapel pinstripe offered by Ralph Lauren’s Purple Label. This suit with its wider lapel and luxuriously draping shoulders makes the clear statement that the man inside has confronted more than his share of difficult issues and risen to the occasion each time.
SHOES: FERRAGAMO LACE-UPS
SALVATORE FIORENZO
The dark blue of this suit allows you to pair it with either black or dark brown
ñSuited and booted... Being on the squad gets you looking go od
Á
lunch
s... ñSmiley face it to put su a Nothng like face a grin on your
t
England’s fines
leather shoes. While black is the fail-safe option, you really should display confidence and wear dark brown Salvatore Ferragamo lace-ups. These shoes, like the suit, are bold with their hand-stitched detailing on the toe, and they communicate that you are a man of erudite intellectual power.
watch is a given with this ensemble and adds to the sheer presence this suit conveys with its skeleton horns and interlocking bracelet.
ACCESSORIES: MONTBLANC TIMEWALKER
The final option for 2007 is a brown, three-button, notchlapel suit with double
ñThe big bo ss... What if Alan Sugar is your interviewer?!
SUIT £150 M&S
blue-chalk pinstripes by Jack Victor. A thick yet faint blue pinstripe is paralleled by a thin pinstripe of the same color that softens the usual harsh appearance of a pinstripe suit.
SHOES: TOD’S ESQUIRE ANKLE BOOTS The unusual pinstripe of this Jack Victor suit allows you to leave your standard dress shoes at home and venture forth in a pair of brown leather ankle boots from Tod’s. With a simple profile and rubber sole, their presence under the suit’s cuffed pant leg projects a man of action and worldly taste. Office Politics 23
WORDS: JOBSITE.CO.UK, PHOTO: GUARDIAN.CO.UK
An instantly classic timepiece like the Montblanc Timewalker
SUIT: JACK VICTOR THREE-BUTTON SUIT
work r no
af
on
∏ te
A world of difference ñWorld in his hands... A back-up career as a basketball player was never far away
Worried that your company is not contributing to the world’s plea to improve the decreasing state of the environment. See the suggestions below offering tips on how to reduce office waste and save money...
B
usinesses across the UK create around 75 million tonnes of waste every year, not only a drain on the environment but on profits too. By taking few simple steps, office managers can reduce waste and make substantial cost savings in the day-today running of the office:
COMPUTER EQUIPMENT
WORDS: BYSTESTART.CO.UK, PHOTO: EARTHFINDS.COM, CARTOONSTOCK.COM
Use modern technology to your advantage. Why send out marketing material in the post when it can be done more effectively by email? Not only are your collaterals more likely to reach the right person instead of just the bin, but you will also save money on paper, envelopes and postage. Ensure that everyone switches off their computers at night. If computers are left on standby they still use 50% of the electricity they use when they’re on.
ENERGY Try to use energy efficient light bulbs - they are more expensive than ordinary ones but last eight times longer, use a quarter of the energy and give the same brightness. This could save more than £100 over the bulb’s lifetime.
PAPER Paper is probably the biggest source of waste in most offices with the average office worker using up to 50 sheets of A4 every single day. Set the printer to print on both sides of the paper by 24 Office Politics
business
work
“Try to use some energy
efficient light bulbs – they last eight times longer than ordinary ones” default. This will automatically reduce the amount of paper a business uses and will reduce paper costs. Use recycled paper. Producing recycled paper involves between 28-70% less energy and it is cheaper to buy. Use 80g paper sheets instead of thicker paper and avoid printing on ‘flash’ paper. Thicker paper is more expensive and the thicker the paper you use the more paper you waste.
PRINTING Ask whether it is really necessary to print in colour for internal documents, it is nearly 50% cheaper to print a document in black and white. Think about how you are going to dispose of the print car tridge. It might be more convenient to put it in the bin but it is far more resource efficient to recycle.
WATER Cut down on water wastage and witness office water bills shrink by a massive 30% Ensure employees turn off taps fully – a 5mm stream of water wastes 528,000 litres of water each year, costing up to £705. Fit a water displacement bag supplied free of
charge by most water companies or simply place a 1 litre plastic bottle filled with water into the toilet cistern to reduce the amount of water per flush.
ONE BIN DAY To encourage office managers to take the first step in becoming more resource efficient, Envirowise is inviting them to take part in One Bin Day. On Tuesday 21st February 2006, Envirowise is asking businesses to restrict the availability of office bins for the day to help them identify wasteful habits and understand the benefits of changing their ways. On One Bin Day participating firms will be asked to remove from the office all but one bin. This will have two effects: It will remove the convenience of having a bin next to every desk, so staff will have to think about the way they deal with unwanted items, rather than simply dropping them into their own personal bins without a second thought. Secondly if staff stick to their normal routine, a single bin will quickly become full and overflow, creating a very visual illustration of the level of waste being generated on a daily basis.
A trial version of Microsoft’s free anti-virus software has been launched in the US, China, Brazil, and Israel. Microsoft Security Essentials (MSE) promises to provide people with basic protection against viruses, trojans, rootkits and spyware. The software giant has been criticised in the past for failing to include free security software with Windows. Its first security package, Windows Live OneCare, failed to attract many customers and will be discontinued. Microsoft is hoping that MSE, available as a free download from its site, will prove more popular. It has said it will automatically update it for users. However, rival security vendors have questioned whether Microsoft can compete with more established anti-virus players. “Early reviews of the beta are showing that it under-performs when compared to existing freeware products, and well below paid solutions,” said security firm Symantec in a statement. “Referring to Microsoft’s basic anti-virus and antispyware product as an essential security solution is misleading. Consumers need firewall protection, web protection, anti-spam and identity safeguards,” it said. Initially 75,000 trial versions of MSE, codenamed Morro, will be available in the US, Brazil, China and Israel. The software will be rolled out in other countries later this year. Office Politics 25
WORDS: BBC,
MICROSOFT offers FREE ANTI-VIRUS
WORDS: RITA PUTATUND, OFFICEGAMES.COM PHOTO:100MUSICALFOOTSTEP.COM, ALLEVIL.COM, TOPBOSSBLOG.COM, NATIONAL MAGAZINE COMPAN Y
ñParty with the stars... A glossy magazine party can have its moment
26 Office Politics
Y T R A A E K I P PROFESSIONAL! L
work
Office party games can go a long way to liven up dull and drab office parties. Here are some great office party ideas and games to get things rolling ñOMG.. Raise those glasses high in the air
ñCheeky chap.. Remember, ladies, no gatecrashers!
ñSay cheese. Cameras are always alert at parties
O
ffice parties can often be stiff and uptight affairs. However, a few innovative office party ideas and games can go a long way to break the ice and liven up things. For example, a great office party idea is to incorporate some theme such as getting the party attendees to come dressed as famous politicians, or their favorite star or celebrity. Or, perhaps you could have a hippie’s ‘60s or psychedelic ‘70s party, with dressing up according to that period and also playing the music of that time. Or, simply go for the old favorite – come in fancy dress. Or, if it is an office Christmas party, why not have a Santa Claus dress-up, along with some great Christmas office party games? Apart from the theme, to set the mood, here are a few office party games that will turn your office party from being a bore to a blast!
along with his/her partner. The game can be continued until every pair has had a chance to become actors.
GUESS THE MOVIE GAME:
STATUE:
Before the party, jot down the names of several well-known movies on slips of paper, and put these in a bowl. Tell the party attendees to pair up, and then select one pair to be the first actors. They must pick a slip from the bowl and enact a scene from the movie written on it. The others must guess which the movie is. The first person that guesses correctly will become the next actor
Explain the rules of the game once the guests arrive. One person has to be chosen as the statue. At a certain point of the party, this person must turn into a statue, in the middle of whatever he or she may be doing. As the other people begin noticing, they too turn into statues. Whoever notices what’s going on last becomes the ‘statue’ for the next round. This game can be quite hilarious, Office Politics 27
FAMOUS MOVIE ONE LINERS: Before the party, write down famous bits of quotes from well-known movies, e.g. “I’ll be back.” – Terminator, “Would you be shocked if I put on something more comfortable?” – Hell’s Angels. Then, during the party, read out these quotes one at a time, with the guests having to guess which movie it is from. Whoever guesses right gets a point. After every quote has been done with, whoever has the most points becomes the winner. To make it more challenging, extra points can be given if they can name the character, actor or actress who said it.
“A few innovative office party
ideas and games can go a long way to break the ice and liven up things”
work
ñBum note... careful of the photocopier this year ñParty all night.. Let your hair down at the office function
ñLadies first... Girls enjoying themselves
especially when people have to turn into statues in the middle of saying something.
LIAR, LIAR: Let the guests gather around either a table or just in a circle, and appoint someone as the score-keeper. Each person tells one statement about themselves that is true, and two that are untrue. As each player finishes his/her turn, the others must vote on which statement was the truthful one. The truthful statement is then disclosed, with the player given a point for each incorrect guess. After all players finish, the person who ends up with the highest score is given the title: ‘The Biggest Liar in the Office!’
PHOTOS: ADRANTS.COM, BIRMINGHAMFUTURE.COM, NATIONAL MAGAZINE COMPANY
TRANSFERRING THE COTTON BALLS: This is a hilarious game, and before long everybody will be razzing and laughing at the proceedings. You will require 2 buckets, 2 chairs, some cotton balls, a large serving spoon, a blind fold, and a timer. Place the two chairs about five feet apart, both in the same direction. Put a bucket in each of those chairs. Put the cotton balls in one bucket. Blindfold the first player, turning him/her around 2-3 times and placing him/her in front of the chair that has the cotton balls. Give the player the spoon, placing it at the edge of the bucket that has the cotton balls, in order to give the player an indication where it is, and setting the timer according to a specified time, say about 2 minutes. As soon as you say ‘go’, the blindfolded player must start using 28 Office Politics
the spoon to scoop the cotton balls up and putting them into the empty bucket, on the other chair. After each person finishes his/her turn, count the cotton balls that were actually put into the empty bucket. After everybody has had their turn, the one who could successfully transfer the most cotton balls is declared the winner. Although this game may not sound like anything much, however, it can be a hilarious sight to see the blindfolded player carefully transporting the often empty spoon to the other bucket and gingerly putting empty air into it.
GIVE ME: This is a fairly simple game, which nevertheless can be quite fun. Get a caller to go in front of the room, and call out the names of various items, like: • red lipstick • black shoe • £10 note • nail clipper • pack of Kleenex • a picture • a quarter or some other specific coin • a flowery handkerchief Whoever runs up first with any of the items gets a prize. Always ensure having the prizes ready before the party. You can buy little novelty items from the pound store or an inexpensive gift certificates.
work
Easy steps to office health From more potted plants to fewer e-mails, Office Politics reports on the latest research on wellbeing in the workplace
“Research has
shown that people who climb the stairs rather than using the lift at work have lower cholesterol ”
rack at t n o t e g to s p uick ste
Q
I
f you’re depressed at being back at work after the summer, it’s time to do something about it.There is increasing evidence that a happy employee is a healthy employee and new research suggests that only takes a few small changes to make your workplace a healthy environment in which you can thrive. For example, sending fewer e-mails will make you less stressed, and bringing in pot plants can lower your risk of sore throats. If you can grab a desk by the window, it will make you less depressed. Sceptical? Here’s the science behind workplace wellbeing.
1. Avoid office affairs According to an Iowa University report, 62 per cent of married men and 46 per cent of married women who
have had an affair began it with someone they met through work. Office affairs become unhealthy when they go wrong, with increased levels of depression and a 16 per cent drop in morale, say the Iowa researchers. “When the romance ends, human resource managers anticipate complaints of retaliation (in 17 per cent of cases), stalking (12 per cent), and physical violence (5 per cent),” says the report.This has become such a problem that some companies make their employees sign “love contracts”, which force them to declare any relationships they strike up at work. 2. Go home earlier Researchers at the University of California have found a link between number of hours worked and risk of increased blood pressure.
the office
Their results indicate that men and women working 40 hours a week had a 14 per cent increased risk of hypertension compared with those working between 11 and 39 hours a week. For those who worked between 41 and 50 hours a week, the risk increased to 17 per cent and for more than 51 hours weekly, it rose by 29 per cent. 3. Use the stairs Research at the University of Ulster has shown that people who climb the stairs rather than using the lift at work have lower cholesterol, better breathing, healthier hearts and weigh less. In a two-month study, researchers gradually increased the number of stairs that participants were climbing, until they were climbing 199 steps five times a day. By the end of 60 days,
compared with a control group, the steppers had a 17.1 per cent increase in breathing volume and a 7.7 per cent drop in bad cholesterol. 4. Move the computer screen We all know that having a computer screen in the wrong position can lead to headaches, tiredness and long-term neck, back, shoulder and wrist pain. But researchers from Kongsberg College of Engineering, Norway, quantified the long-term effects of screen position on 150 offices workers. They found that employees who had their screens positioned just 15 degrees out of the correct position had more pain, more sick leave and less movement of their necks.To correctly position a screen, make sure that the top of the screen is at your eye level. Counting the sick days 7 – The UK average annual number of sick leave days per person 75% of all sick days are due to stress and back pain Office Politics 29
PHOTO: SICK-LEAVE.COM
ñStress city... Don’t let the work problems pile up
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IT solutions
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How do I hide columns in Microsoft Excel? It’s not the most user-friendly application in the world, but Excel can sometimes be crucial to our working lives. Loathed by many, it’s a bit like a cantankerous old man: intimidating at first, but scratch the surface and you’ll develop a grudging respect for its wisdom. One of the big problems with Excel spreadsheets is their size. At more than 16 million cells, they’re great if you’ve got a lot of info to input
but a bit tricky when it comes to navigation. Usually you won’t need to see all of the data in a spreadsheet, and it’s even less likely you’ll want to print it all. Things become more straightforward when you hide the rows and columns that aren’t relevant to your project. To hide a row or column, select any cell within it and go to Format. Now choose Row or Column, depending on what you want to stow away, and go to Hide.You can also select the whole row or
column (click on its number or letter heading) and right-click to reveal the Hide command. To show the hidden cells again, select the row or column directly to the left and right of the hidden one and either go to Format, Row/Column and Unhide, or right-click and select Unhide. An even quicker way to hide a row is by selecting any cell within it and pressing Ctrl+9. To unhide, select the worksheet by pressing Ctrl+A and then press Ctrl+Shift+9.
Can I cheat on the details of my sent emails?
( How big is a folder that has 200GB in it?
( Ver y big
!
There are times when sending workrelated emails is just plain inappropriate. Take that end of year report; do you really want your boss to know you finished it at 3.30am, or would it be better to be the early bird and send it through at 8am, at the top of the Inbox? Getting up half an hour early just to press send on all your pre-prepared drafts is hardly ideal - which is where scheduling comes in. Many email clients and software add-ons now feature the ability to set a specific time to send your emails, getting around the need to hover your mouse over Send in person. Both Outlook 2007 and 2003 contain the facility to delay the delivery of a single message.
In Outlook 2007, with your message open, select the Options tab and click on the Delay Delivery toolbar button. If you’re using the earlier version, again with your message open, click Options and under Delivery Options check the “Do not deliver before” box and add the date and time you want. Remember that if you’re using a POP3 account you must leave your email running until the message has been sent. If you’re not sure what type of account you have, just go to Tools and Account Settings then click on the Email tab. Third-party options like lettermelater.com also work with your existing email address to schedule message sending, while Thunderbird users can download the Send Later extension (tinyurl. com/2z8bga).
RACISM @ WORK
WORDS: MIRIAM BRENT, PAMELA HUTCHINSON / GUARDIAN, PHOTO: UWYO.EDU
THE PROBLEM:
I can’t be 100% certain, but the other day I think I overheard a colleague on the phone say - well, I won’t repeat it, but it is a term that pretty much everyone would consider racist. I don’t know the context, of course, but I’m still shocked that he said it at work, and it definitely makes me look at him in a different light. Should I confront him about his language?
THE WORKER’S VIEW Emma Nixon, administrator I think I would be very offended if someone used that particular word anywhere - more so in the office. I don’t really get that offended by language but there are 30 Office Politics
certain words that no one should use in the modern world, and especially not in a business environment. This kind of language is completely unnecessary. I work in an openplan office and you have to remember that everything you say, even if it is in a private phone call, can be overheard by any of your colleagues. So you have to make sure that your language is suitable at all times. I don’t think I would be able to confront anyone (I’m not a confrontational person), but I’d definitely feel differently about that particular person in the future, and the racist connotations would concern me. I would probably just give them an offended look, or if I knew the person, maybe say something small so they knew that I was disgusted.
THE ETIQUETTE EXPERT’S VIEW Rachel Holland is the founder of Rachel Holland Associates No – you should go to your HR department. Explain what you heard and take their advice. Remember that you overheard the comment; it might be perceived that you were eavesdropping and this is not good manners. However, in most offices eavesdropping is unavoidable, so you are not at fault. Unless this person is a close friend of yours, you should not confront them. This will make matters worse and you will both feel awkward. Any language that is offensive, vulgar and impolite is unacceptable in the workplace.
technology
work
“Can the iPhone get any better? Of
course, this is what Apple does, but will inventions like these in the future simply be so creative that their meanings become utterly useless”
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Cleaner’s Corner
MARIA RODRIGUEZ
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Office Politics 31
out of office
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The week has finally come to an end and you’re still at your computer. Sad - Go home! You’ve got plenty of better things to do like get ready for a music festival!
plans? d n e k e e w r u o y What are
JAY-Z: LAST YEAR’S HEADLINER AT GLASTOBURY
CHECKING OUT THE BEST BANDS AND MUSIC – ONLY AT THE FESTIVALS
WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO BE THIS SUMMER?
DON’T FORGET TO BRING YOUR WELLY BOOTS AND TIMS!
Festival breakdown
Opfofliitcices
July 09 ñThe magazine that minds your business... but doesn’t dance at office parties!
!
Do: il il ck ema voic ema 1. Che en to mee ting S 2. List are for POLITIC ICE 3. Prep d OFF 4. Rea
Must
Damages’ Glenn Close
as usual! Is TV’s law firm general Patty Hewes the epitome of bosses across the globe?
Men in suits
mean Put on your ‘I er suit... business’ pow JULY 2009 UK ISSUE 2 A Blank Screen Publishing Publication
PHOTOS: AVOLITES.ORG, BBC, IANLEWISPHOTOGRAPHER.CO.UK., SCOTTR68.FILES.WORDPRESS.COM, SOWHATMULTIMEDIA.COM
ñThat’s issue number two... see you at end of July for number three!
MAKING SURE YOU MEET YOUR WORK TARGETS
TRAINERS ALERT:
Doing the lunchtime run!
32 Office Politics
How to office party
properly
GLASTONBURY FESTIVAL
T IN THE PARK
READING FESTIVAL ‘09
Date: Wednesday 24th - Sunday 28th June 09 A unique feast of music set on a huge site offering a grand scale of entertainment unlike any other festival in the world. For five days the Pilton farm plays host to a tented city in Somerset. As well as music from nearly every genre imaginable on over 50 stages, there’s performing arts with cabaret, theatre, circus, children’s entertainment, poetry, healing, green crafts and information and much more.Vibrant, spontaneous, colourful, and hugely entertaining. The line-up for this year has been confirmed and includes Neil Young as Friday headliner, Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band as Saturday night headliner, and Blur as Sunday headliner,The Specials, Lily Allen, Fleet Foxes, Kasabian, Crosby Stills and Nash, Dizzee Rascal, Spinal Tap and many more.
Date: Friday 10th - Sunday 12th July 09 Offering a huge variety of music across seven main stages with large camping areas, as well as other attractions, including a large funfair, comedy tent, silent disco, stalls, and food markets. The sixteenth T in the Park will be back at Balado in 2009 on Friday 10th to Sunday 12th July. Expect a solid and fantastic lineup from aroudn the wor;d of around 180 artists to play over 11 stages. The acts confirmed so far include headliners Kings of Leon, The Killers, Blur, Snow Patrol, along with The Specials, Doves, Idlewild, Franz Ferdinand, Bloc Party, The Streets, Manic Street Preachers, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, Katy Perry, Razorlight, Elbow, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Pendulum, Peter Doherty, White Lies, and more.
Date: Friday 28th - Sunday 30th August 09 Rock, alternative, indie, punk, metal, with big names, breaking acts, and exclusive performances Reading Festival has it all. The dates for Reading Festival 2009 are confirmed as on the bank holiday weekend, from Friday 28th to Sunday 30th August at Little Johns Farm, Richfield Avenue, Reading, Berkshire. The headliners for this year’s festival will be Kings Of Leon (Friday), Arctic Monkeys (Saturday), and Radiohead(Sunday). Also playing the main stage on Friday are Faith No More, Kaiser Chiefs, Placebo, Fall Out Boy, Deftones, and Funeral For A Friend. Saturday has The Prodigy, Maximo Park, Ian Brown and many more.There’s the NME stage to watch out for as well.