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Why office romances are not always doomed to fail... unlike Kate and Phil’s, that is!
WOULD YOU TAKE THIS MAN HOME TO VISIT YOUR MUM?
Philip Taylor
IT’S WEDDING SEASON:
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Look into the objectives and goals of the funding proposals you need to write.
June 2009 Issue One
COVER STORY:
OFFICE ROMANCE
ñKate and Phil... are the foundations starting to crack, or will they kiss and make-up?
10 ... ñSaucy secs ch it an d ha She and had to scratch it
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Nicola Brewer Br ew ewer
02 Office Politics
Morning INBOX: OFFICE NEWS
Lunch 06
All the morning updates on everything that affects the office life in sharply-reported news stories
TEA ROUND: COVER STOR STORY – OFFICE ROMANCES 08 Are office romances ever what they started out as? Innocent, passionate and fun... we investigate, starting with the other Apprentices who got close
SHORTCUTS: CTRL+ó 12
Philip Taylor
JUNE 2009 UK ISSUE 1 A Blank Screen Publishing Publication
COVER PHOTOS: GUARDIAN.CO.UK/EQUALITYHUMANRIGHTS.COM/ HOTTIESPIZZA.COM. PHOTOS: BLOG.ZOOZOOM.COM/ THEMIRROR.CO.UK
ñT dir he r arr ect i igh ow on t to ... fo offi llo ce w t sto he rie s
08
How to business lunch
properly
The weird and wonderful happenings at your workplace. See if your colleague is a Cat Lover, or try our age discrimination test
Af ternoon
WHAT TO DO: HOW TO... BUSINESS LUNCH 16
WORK: ARE THE WOMEN ON TOP YET? 24
Your client wants to discuss the project over a meal, but where’s the right place – and how do you act?
Despite gradual changes in the business world, women are still underrepresented in the boardroom
WHAT TO EAT: THE SALAD SUPREME 18
WORK: DESK DETOX
Keeping an eye on your shelly belly – get a healthy salad inside you, and feel okay for crouching at your computer all day
WORK: TECHNOLOGY WHAT TO WEAR: WEDDING DRESSES AND HATS 20 ALL THE SINGLE LADIES! Well, you
don’t have to be single to enjoy the fantastical affair of a good ole British wedding. Grab your partner and put on your garb
26
Your desk in need of some serious maintainance control, or you’re just a slumdog type of fella? Answer: desk detox
29
You used to be able to live without them, but when mobile phones and MP3s started getting trendy, well, here we are - continual upgrade. Check our pick of the month
contents S THING : TO DO
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Must learn shortcuts!
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Retail therapy...
top... ñWomen on wants Nicola Brewer wer po businessgirl
24
Handle the stress
SECRETARY TO STRIPPER
T-SHIRTS IN THE OFFICE
IT SOLUTIONS
Read the revealing account of a Chicago girl who fell for an internet guy but ended up stripping to boost her inner confidence and deal with her new relationship.
Every man needs at least one T-shirt that exudes power, prestige and classic refinement. Or is that a suit? Never mind - summer is here and so are the Ts.
Is there ever a day when you’re not calling IT? Try our easy computer-friendly solutions to your daily nightmares and see if you come a cropper.
DEATH AT WORKK TEAM BUILDING Have different departments that don’t seem to get on, but everyone’s working for the same results? If yes, then see how to get everyone aboard.
ñMessy desk... it’s an Amazon paper jungle out there
INTERVIEWING THE INTERVIEWER Get a confident footing when you’re looking for a new job by understanding the interview process.
Death of someone close is never an easy subject, especially if it’s a colleague.
lunch... salads ñWhat’s for out and worth taking r dressing up fo
18
PHOTOS: SAMSONOFFICESUPPLIES.FILES.WORDPRESS.COM/ WAITROSE
26
Office Politics 03
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Another day, another dollar
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n this age of tightly controlled expense accounts and general corporate austerity (that was a joke!), the inability or the ignorance of human resources isn’t too blame for the office abuse, the cramped conditions or impersonal work environments we leave our beloved homes for each day. Nope. It’s us. Whether you’re hiring a turd from gumtree, spewing from not getting your point across at a meeting or just seen too many CVs you don’t even check out their relevancy anymore and just look at the interests section, this magazine highlights what we know already: work is a funny thing and often or not, it’s a funny place to be. Remember that guy who used to follow you on the tube, up the escalators and jump through the ticket machines because he loved to avoid paying increased fares, well, guess what? No, guess again. Guess again. He’s sitting right next to me. Yeah, he’s my supervisor. That’s the kinda thing work brings us. The inspiration of what makes us stressed and depressed and knowing that our colleagues lead better and more fruitful lives than us is what this is all about. But don’t forget about the afterwork drinks – a bonding exercise from heaven. Just remember to put on some spray. Well, that’s the politics of the office, isn’t it? Sugar… email: blankscreenpublishing@live.com with your disgruntled (and happy) verbal expressions. Cheerios on my desk.
Editor
PHOTO: FARM1.STATIC.FLICKR.COM
Office Politics is published by Blank Screen Publishing. For further information, please email: blankscreenpublishing@live.com. Office Politics is an original brand and publication that takes every care to ensure all content is accurate, fair and objective. The publisher regrets that they cannot accept liability for error or omissions that may occur. The copyright of images and articles featured remain with their orginators. Note: no money was made during the production of this, so keep your lawyers away!
04 Office Politics
OFFICE POLITICS NOTE TO SELF LOGGING IN Press Control+Alt+Delete To log into the main system, type in one of the following in lower case: mynameisSlimShady and then the correspondingly numbered password: I’msorryMamaInever meanttomakeyoucry
a d ñRise an cl imb... err, chief - I think we have a virus
small talk W What do we speak about with our colleagues first thing in the morning? Nothing much: just cars, football, TV, food and everything else... Aston Martin has always stood for fine, civilised high performance sports cars, designed and produced by skilled craftsmen. There is a special place in the market and in the hearts of owners for classic sports cars, which conform to this ideal.
ñVinyl decision... Technics keep nostaglia alive and well
These are cars, which embellish the freedom and enjoyment of the open road. As recently brought to life by Bond, James Bond, the future for the Aston is every bit as bright as its illustrious past.
TURNING POINT
bile Classic automo ñFiner than fiction... ‘No, Mr Bond won’t be joining us this evening’
The Technics SL-1210 MK2 is undoubtedly one of the slickest turntables around, making CDs spin like dusty records without the static. Mixing tracks onto a USB mechanism has never been so easy and you can plug in your laptop for those swift compilation dubs or pretential mixtapes.
PATRICK NEATE
3. Cristiano Ronaldo (Manchester United) In the P.C. era (pre-Cristiano) wingers were slight, nippy and small. He redefined the position marrying size and brawn with pace and trickery. You get the sense that, when he’s running at defenders, he could go around them or straight through them. ñBlues brother... Ballack’s not the best, but he’s got a mean kick
As an added bonus, he’s also an aerial threat on set pieces. 2. Ronaldinho (Barcelona) There’s a reason he’s always smiling. You’d be smiling all the time too if you knew that you were the best player on the pitch and you were about to make some poor defender look a jackass. He is the poster child for Brazilian football, the proud heir of those who came before him. He didn’t adapt to the European game, he
forced it to adapt to him. Put him on the team sheet, sit back and enjoy the show. 1. Kaka (Milan) The top three are incredibly tight, but he just edges it for one simple reason: he combines Brazilian flair with European directness like nobody else. He truly is a product of two footballing cultures, a man who has all the virtues and none of the vices of, either. Speaking of vices, he really, really doesn’t have any. A committed Christian, he announced proudly that he was a virgin on his wedding night. He likes to parade around in his favourite T-shirt, the one that reads “I belong to Jesus” (thereby opening a whole can of worms regarding third-party ownership).
ñNeate and tidy... ‘Curry or tidy Chinese? Both?’
WORDS: THE GUARDIAN; PHOTOS: KEN PASSLEY// ASTON MARTIN/ TECHNICS/ PENGUIN
TOP THREE FOOTBALLERS
He was a teacher out in Africa for few years before he wrote Musunga Jim and 12 Bar Blues, which he won awards for. He’s a crafty writer, an imagination that spans centuries and all crazy cultures but still feels remarkably fresh. Call Simon Cowell, Mr Neate’s got talent.
Office Politics 05
inbox views e r e e S ge 32 a p n o Which film do I like?
OLD TRADITIONS BEING PHASED OUT
WORDS: THE GUARDIAN/ BBC WORLD SERVICE ILLUSTRATION: NATIONAL COMMISSION FOR WOMEN
A survey from Office Angels found that 59% of us say charming traditions like a tea break make work more sociable, and 28% say they help motivation. It would seem that new traditions, including long working hours, eating at our desks, team-bonding days and open-plan offices, are being noted as uncomfortable for many. The survey said that 23% of workers just crave a bit of personal attention as conference calls and email take over. And while much nostalgia has eluded the minds of some workers, the choice between a BlackBerry and blackberry jam on toast (with a new tea cosy) has apparently never been a harder one.
U
ù MEMO
Anybody without a company pass will have to sign in at reception or they could ushered out of the building.
06 Office Politics
news
BOSSES STILL ASK BANNED QUESTIONS Many bosses are still asking inappropriate questions on application forms and in job interviews, the consumer group Which? has warned. As a result their companies risk being taken to employment tribunals where they can face unlimited fines. Which? said there is widespread confusion about what potential employers can ask interview candidates. Previously standard questions about age, length of experience and religious views are now illegal, it pointed out. The consumer group said candidates facing such queries should politely decline to answer. According to Which?, the most commonly asked banned question is about whether someone is thinking about starting a family. “Long gone are the bad old days when a nervous interviewee had to answer all sorts of questions about their lifestyle and their personal views,” said Sue Tumelty, author of the Which? CV and Interview Handbook. “As employers can’t judge a candidate’s ability to do the job on their age, sex or religious views, for example, they’ve no business asking about these things, so interviewees are in no way compelled to answer. “It helps to be aware of what
you can and cannot be asked, so that you can feel confident in – politely – declining to answer any questions that make you uncomfortable,” she added. Since October 2006 it has been illegal to discriminate against
workers under the age of 65 on the grounds of age. It is against the law to make someone redundant or to bar workers from training or promotion because they are too old – or too young. Under
if it is what is called a ‘genuine occupational qualification’. For instance, the armed forces and the police have a minimum age as a standard requirement. But in the vast majority of cases it should not be requested or supplied. Potential employees are also protected by other legislation, including the Sex Discrimination Act, the Race Relations Act, the Employment Equality Regulations and the Disability Discrimination Act. As a result, employers are not allowed to discriminate against job candidates on the grounds of race, beliefs, gender, religion, sexuality or disability. As with age discrimination, the only exception is if employers can demonstrate there is an overriding genuine occupational qualification. Job candidates who
“The most commonly asked
banned question is about whether someone is thinking about starting a family” legislation, employers cannot specify an ideal age in advertising a job, nor ask for a specific amount of experience. Application forms should not ask for an applicant’s date of birth. There are some circumstances in which candidates can be asked to provide their age,
believe their rights have been infringed can take a potential employer to tribunal.Employment tribunals can recommend various remedies and can impose a range of fines, which are unlimited where discrimination is found to have occurred.
Depressed workers resign to stay on in same boring jobs The Franchise Group has found that almost 50% of people are so depressed at coming back to work after the holidays that we consider looking for a new job, and two-thirds of us want to be our own boss. Of course, many people reconsider this
when they visit a recruitment agency as they find the search of looking for new work tends to be more depressing than how they felt when they returned back from holiday. A survey that highlights this is one by Hirescores.com, which
found that 70% of candidates felt they had been lied to by their agency, with 56% saying they had been pressured into going for a role. Office Politics was wondering whether there are recruitment agencies for recruitment agents.
inbox
news
Management often fail to win workers’ trust
r tive
nsuppo u s a n e e s s r e g Most mana
ñBoss knows best... Putting that glue on his fingers wasn’t a good idea
The research, which was released by Investors in People – the organisation that works with companies to improve their performance – also reveals that over half (55 %) of employees believe that their manager only
has their best interests at heart when it suits them. The YouGov research, released to mark the star t of Investors in People Week reveals that managers are most likely to let down employees by
KEEP WORKING ‘TO AVOID DEMENTIA’ It has been suggested that keeping the brain active by working later in life may be an effective way to ward off Alzheimer’s disease, new research says. Researchers analysed data from 1,320 dementia patients, including 382 men. They found that for the men, continuing to work late in life helped keep the brain sharp enough to delay dementia taking hold. The study was carried out by the Institute of Psychiatr y at King’s College London. The repor t is featured in the International Journal of
Geriatric Psychiatr y. With the need to live a better lifestyle, more people than ever are retiring later in life to aver t financial hardship, but there may be a silver lining with all that hard work – lower dementia risk. There are around 700,000 people in the UK who currently have dementia and exper ts have estimated that by 2051, the number could stand at 1.7m. It is estimated that the condition already costs the UK economy £17bn a year. Dementia is caused by the mass loss of cells in the
brain, and exper ts believe one way to guard against it is to build up as many connections between cells as possible by being mentally active throughout life. This is known as a ‘cognitive reser ve’. There is now evidence to suggest a good education is associated with a reduced dementia risk. And the latest study suggests there can also be a positive effect of mental stimulation continued into our later years. Those people who retired late developed Alzheimer’s at a later stage than those who opted not to work on.
failing to provide the suppor t they need to do their job (49 %), failing to respond to concerns expressed by employees (48 %) or withholding information which impacts on them (45 %).
Best British employers Every issue we’ll list some of the heavyhitters that your company should be trying to live up to FINANCIAL SERVICES AVIVA PLC
LAW SIMMONS & SIMMONS
GAMING THE RANK GROUP PLC
TELECOMMUNICATIONS THE CARPHONE WAREHOUSE GROUP PLC
SEO MARKETING LATITUDE GROUP LTD Office Politics 07
WORDS: THE GUARDIAN/ BBC WORLD SERVICE PHOTO: THEPROS.US
Less than a third (30 %) of UK employees have complete trust in their manager, with almost eight in ten (78 %) believing that their manager has let them down in the past, according to research published.
tea round
cover story
S S E N I S U Mixing B SURE A E L P H T WI .. ñHold tight. to d te an w e Kat ir blame the affa e oz on the bo
Is love on the ropes for wannabe Apprentices Kate and Philip? We look at the doomed, yet entertaining, affair
F WORDS: THE MIRROR/ THE GUARDIAN PHOTOS: MIRROR.CO.UK/ GUARDIAN.CO.UK
or The Apprentice lovebirds Kate Walsh and Philip Taylor, controlling their desires has become one of the hardest things they’ve ever done. While the cameras for the popular show were rolling, it was clear to the nation that their kindred interests to each other were indeed blossoming. According to national newspapers and websites, the pair did end up in bed during the show but waited till the series was over to have sex. A close friend of Philip’s said: “He couldn’t resist her, they didn’t go all the way while they were in the Apprentice penthouse together, but there was a fumble under the duvet. He couldn’t help it. They are in a serious relationship now.” Philip’s exgirlfriend Rachel Pascall added: “They are boyfriend and girlfriend. Philip loves blondes in business suits, and she ticks all his boxes.” When Sir Alan Sugar fired Philip – an estate agent from County Durham – things between the pair seemed to get sticky, especially as Kate turned on Philip in the boardroom to save herself. It had us all asking: can love at work ever work? In the third season of The Apprentice, Katie Hopkins and Paul Callaghan had a fling and used to sneak to the house’s attic for private times. And in the second 08 Office Politics
series, eventual winner Michelle Dewberry had a long-term relationship with fellow contestant Syed Ahmed. But Michelle suffered a miscarriage and the pair eventually split up. So, what becomes of Kate and Philip? Philip described being fired from the show as “a double blow”. “I was leaving the job behind and I knew she was still in there. Imagine being with someone all the time and suddenly her not being there any more. You are constantly thinking all the time, ‘“What is she doing now?’” He added: “I was crushed – I miss her. I have never felt this way about a girl before.” The lovestruck 29-year-old even made Kate a compilation album. “When I left the show, I put a CD together for her with one opera track called Vide Cor Meum, which was written for the film Hannibal,” he said. Ah yes, that classic date movie. But it seems that while Kate had a little rendezvous with rival contestant Philip, she wasn’t overly impressed - she reportedly told him You’re Fired because he was such a bad kisser. “After the show was all over, they continued to see each other – though it didn’t last,” said a show insider.“But while they’re no longer an item, they’re still in touch and their relationship is sure to be in the spotlight as series continues.”
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ñTouchy-feely... when he said she needed a closer view, he meant...
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omance is as much a part of office life as coffee machines. Many employers have discovered that trying to ban work romances is like trying to ban Christmas. It’s not even necessary. More people meet their partners at work than anywhere else and most workplace romances don’t cause problems. The key to successful office romance, whether it lasts or not, is how you handle it at work. It isn’t easy bringing together two areas of your life: work and relationships. It often requires juggling, discretion and patience. But it can be done, without rocking any corporate boats. Here’s how:
here is: go slowly.Think about who this person is at work.There’s no point dating a cut-throat man who fires people at the drop of a hat, and then wondering how you lost your job after he dumped you. Get real about who the person is and whether you like and trust them.
THINKING ABOUT IT
ROMANCE HAS BLOSSOMED
So you fancy someone and you’re trying to decide whether to take it any further? The rule for success
Resist the impulse to walk around at work with a huge, smug grin on your face: remember to be
discreet.This means don’t gossip about it, snog your new love in the office, try to meet behind the filing cabinets – or anywhere else and, above all, don’t practise favouritism. Accept that people are going to know. Be honest – ‘Yes, I’m seeing him’ – and leave it at that. With no gossip to fuel it, interest will soon die down.
GONNA DO IT If you decide to go ahead: be wise. Don’t use the email system or hang around the object of your desire’s office or desk. A discreet phone call suggesting a drink after work is better. If they say no, accept it. Never pester. If they say yes, then meet well away from the office, out of work hours.
IT’S LOOKING GOOD You’ve passed the initial hurdles – office troublemaker predicting doom, office gossip telling you about your new love’s last three relationships – and you reckon you’re in this for the long run.You can still work together as long as you: stay professional, that is, get your jobs done as well or better than before, don’t make eyes at each other or have sex across your desk (ever) and remain two separate people at work.
OFFICE JOKE An office manager had money problems and had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill... He thought he’d fire the employee who came late to work the next morning. Well, both employees came to work very early. Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee braeak. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break. Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break - strangely, neither Jack nor
Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their desk. Then the manager thought he’d wait and see who would leave work the earliest and both employees stayed after closing. Jill finally went to the coat rack and the manager went up to her and said, “Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don’t know whether to lay you or Jack off.” Jill said, “Well, you’d better jack off, because I’m late for my bus.”
A MAN’S VIEW: THEY WORK/THEY DON’T Yes they work: Why look around for potential dates when you have an office full of beautiful women? You save both time and money. And, what are the chances that you could date women that would save you petrol money – she’s in the office already! Forget about picking her up from the gym, you can walk there together. No they don’t: The fact that couples are in constant contact may cause friction within the relationship. Everyone needs “alone time” or hang out with friends, and the lack thereof cause romances to self-destruct. WORDS: CURT SMITH/ ASKMEN.COM/ CARO HANDLEY PHOTO: IMAGES.CRAVEONLINE.COM
Wor k ro
ù MEMO
Anyone who is caught having liaisons in our stationery office or elsewhere faces an immediate warning.
Office Politics 09
work
first person
Y R A T E R C E S M O FR R E P P I R TO ST Brook Busey-Hunt started stripping on a whim and explains why she quit her day job for a career in the sex industry
“
WORDS: BROOK BUSEY-HUNT/MITZI MILLER/ ELLE
Everybody thought I was nuts! I was 24 and had decided to relocate from Chicago to Minneapolis to live with a man I had met nine months earlier. I told them I was in love and moving 400 miles away to be with Jonny, a guy I’d totally fallen for. “In Chicago, I was Brook, I was cool and everybody loved me, but in Minneapolis I was that “new girl he met on the internet”. I felt like this random, resented replacement for Jonny’s ex. He was a graphic designer and part-time bass player, but was embroiled in an expensive custody battle with his ex-wife over their daughter. “Unhappy and broke, I found myself a job as a typist at a local ad agency. For the first time in my life, I was in an uncomfortable, challenging situation and it freaked me out. It was the divorce, it was the daughter, it was moving to a town in the middle of nowhere for the dudefrom-the-internet. It was just too much at once. “My whole identity seemed to have vanished, so I was like, fuck it! If I don’t have an identity, then I don’t have anything to lose. I might as well go do something totally off the wall that I could never have pulled off in Chicago. I chose stripping. “I signed up for a weekly amateur night at The Skyway Lounge, in the hope of earning $200 and kicking my depression into touch. The Skyway was a dive, with ageing strippers and shady punters. This made me feel slightly better as I 10 Office Politics
thought, ‘Look at these guys, they’re not going to boo’. I think I expected the world to end but a guy put $5 on the stage and I was, like, ‘Wow, I’ve been out here 45 seconds and already made $5!’ “I considered whether I had an ‘unnatural interest’ in strip clubs, but the more women I talk to, the more I realise that others are obsessed, too. I’d never seen myself as sexy, so to be objectified like that was really hot. It was like an aphrodisiac. “I am the product of a loving, middle-class, two-parent home. I grew up in such an awesome family. We were like the happy little Brady clan. When my mother found out she was disappointed. “Jonny, however, was supportive of my decision to strip. He realised I was tormented by the things that were happening and thought that if I need to get naked for strangers to exorcise the demons of this transition in my life, then OK. He was never jealous. He not only watched me practice but he helped me choose my outfits. “After six months in Minneapolis, the combination of life as an office manager and stripper began to take its toll. I was so tired. I was a crappy stripper and a crappy office manager, so I had to make a decision. I chose stripping. The only reason I hadn’t left my office job was because I didn’t want ‘stripper’ to be my whole identity, but when I resigned from my day job, it felt good. “Initially, I tried approaching high-end clubs but
at detaching from the experience and separating what I was doing from my feelings, emotionally and morally. “But I finally came to stop. I remember looking round the place and the place felt like a beehive. All I could hear were the girls - ‘You wanna dance, you wanna dance, you wanna dance?’ The room was buzzing with their sales pitches. It was like working in a call centre. Which is bad enough, but I
was doing it in a G-string and heels. I left the club and never returned. “Today, I am a scriptwriter and trashy housewife (me and Jonny got married). One of my scripts is being made into a film and the future looks very good. It must be said, though: Stripping changed me in a positive way. It made me savvier and better equipped to accept the things that happen in life. A lot of days I actually miss it.
”
ñPole position... Interviews at fire stations had become more interesting
PHOTO: EXOTICDANCECENTRAL.COM
they didn’t like my image: my tattoos, pierced nipples, my attitude and big words. They wanted a Barbie lookalike. So I headed to the ‘titty’ bars and the nastier the place, the more obsessed I was working there. In the really dirty places, you were getting down to the nitty-gritty, and I wanted to get close to the edge as I possibly could. “I bounced from club to club, including a peepshow where I’d masturbate behind a pane of glass. That was an out-of-body experience – whenever I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, it would always take a second to register that it was me. I always felt like I was watching another girl. “I earned enough money to get out of debt and buy a new house and car, but it came at an price. I was sexually assaulted by clients (one guy bit a breast, drawing blood), had abusive club managers who rarely allowed toilet breaks, and had to indulge deviance in every form, including entertaining a gentleman who seemed to enjoyed licking semen off the floor. I lost two stone from the long hours of gyrating on my feet and became an human chameleon, wearing outrageous wigs or hairstyles every other day. “I reached the point where I think I could have been a proper prostitute. I’d become so skilled
Office Politics 11
shortcuts AGE DISCRIMINATION QUIZ Age should be no barrier to employment (even though you may need glasses to read this). A law banning age discrimination in the workplace came into force on 01 October 2006. Employment lawyers have said this represented the biggest shake-up of workplace law for over 30 years. How much do you know about your new rights at work? KNOW THE ANSWERS?
Go to page 28
ƒ
Question 1 Is it unlawful for an employer to ask for your date of birth on a job application form? A: Yes B: No
retire in six months and your boss refuses to put you on a training course. Does your boss have the legal right to say no? A: Yes B: No
Question 2 You are asked in a job interview how would you feel about being managed by a younger person. Is this question unlawful? A: Yes B: No
Question 5 Your employer refuses to let you become a member of the workplace pension scheme until you are age 21. Is this legal? A: Yes B: No
Question 3 You buy your colleague a fortieth birthday card which contains a joke about them ‘being over the hill.’ Your boss says this is ageist and unlawful. Is your boss right? A: Yes B: No
Question 6 Your employer tells you that, under the new law, you are free to request to stay on beyond age 65 but there is no point as they always say no. Is your employer’s attitude unlawful? A: Yes B: No
Office Personalities: Which one are you?! We all have one – that annoying colleague whose habits and eccentricities gets right up our nose! Take a look around your office and see which personalities you can suss out...
WORDS: QUIZ: THE EMPLOYERS FORUM ON AGE/ BBC / MSN, PHOTO: BIGSTOCKPHOTO_SUCCESSFUL_BUSINESS
¸ The Hipster – He wears the loudest tie
and the silliest socks and is a grand master of the fake golf swing and finger pistols. Shouts Fore! or Six! every time he swings into action and gets everyone to email him details of the local bespoke tailor. ¸ The Borrower – Is your stapler always going missing? Tell your office borrower you’ll start charging them interest if they miss the deadline – one chocolate bar for every hour past the deadline sounds reasonable. ¸ The Snake – Yuck! Slimy, limp hand shaker who slithers around and stares at colleagues for far longer than should be allowed. Intensify your own hand shake grip and start staring back in an attempt to out freak your colleague. ¸ The Snacker – They slurp their way through lunch, talk with their mouth full and share much more of their lunch than they should. Vomiting actions or comments on the nation’s poor eating habits should nip this in the bud.
12 Office Politics
Question 4 You are due to
Question 7 Your employer agrees to let
¸ Pussy Galore – sweet yet totally neurotic
colleague whose desk is covered in pictures of “Fluffy” and who loves to share stories of her pussy’s “cute” and “amazing” antics. Fight back with “Fido” pictures or invent a few alarming shaggy dog tales about cat lovers. ¸ Moaning Minnie – there’s always one person who we’d like to put a sock in it – sometimes literally! Nothing ever goes right for them and they are always looking at the glass as half empty! Counter your corporate Victor Meldrew by whistling Always look on the Bright Side of Life. ¸ The Gossip – loves a good drama and is always first to share any scandal. Tell your colleague an outrageous story “in confidence” then watch it spread like wildfire around the office. Then confront them publicly with the fact that you are not really
ñDown with the kids... Ready or not, here they come: smiling!
you stay on at work beyond age 65 but has stressed that they want to alter your terms and conditions. Is the employer allowed to do this? A: Yes B: No Question 8 You want to keep working beyond age 65 but you want to change your working hours. Does your employer have to accept a change of working hours? A: Yes B: No Question 9 Your manager denies you a promotion because you are under 25 and would not command the respect of clients. Is your manager acting unlawfully? A: Yes B: No
moonlighting as a lap dancer to pay for your daughter’s gap year – surely they can understand a joke when they hear one! ¸ The Message Mangler – Takes a message but always forgets to find out where the caller is from or take a contact number – or forgets the message altogether! Give them a message template with headings for name, company, number or remove their phone altogether. ¸ The Enthusiastic Bore – everyone has a hobby or interest outside the office – but why don’t they get left there?! Some people think you are just as interested in their football team, sports car or house renovation as they are and so insist on providing you with every last detail of Saturday’s match or the under floor heating they are installing - thrilling! ¸ The Commentator - the Des Lynam of the office, providing a running commentary on anything and everything that goes on in the office, constantly butting in on other conversations. Give them a dose of their own medicine and start joining in their conversations uninvited. If you’re having serious difficulty with someone, please speak to your supervsior.
almost lunch
How to leave work at 5.30pm (AND still get promoted!) N
unpaid y r a s s e c e n n u o mor e
over time
ñYou gots to chill... Hope mum has left work, got the kids, cleaned my car and done the shopping
shortcuts SHOW US YOUR DRAWERS Everything a chap needs to stay clean, fresh and well shod 1. MOUTHWASH If you’ve had a rough night and you smell like death, it’s good to have mouthwash. Pretend it’s for dental reasons, but it’s so people don’t pass out when they walk past.
2. PAINKILLERS Staring at screen for too long? Reach for the hangover drawer and consume when you’ve got a blinding headache.
3. WIPES These always come in handy. They maybe labelled as telephone cleaning wipes, but go on, use them for coffee spills or whatever.
4. SPARE SHOES
Be single-minded It’s true, you can’t do five things at once. “It’s been scientifically proven that the brain takes four times longer to process information if it’s focusing
on more than one thing at a time, so a 15-minute task will actually take an hour,” says Julie Morgenstern, author of Never Check Email in the Morning. Get email savvy Don’t be a slave to your inbox. “Access your email every two hours, not every ten minutes,” Cooper advises. “And avoid sending emails to colleagues in the same building. Face-to-face contact builds up good work relationships and relays all your information much quicker. Make a smart exit It’s easy to say you’ll be out the door at 5.30pm, but when the time comes and none of your colleagues make a move to leave, it’s another story. “Arrange with a friend
at work to leave together so you spur each other on,” says Morgenstern. “Mention earlier in the day that you’ll be leaving on time too, so no one’s surprised when you go.” “Make plans for a few week nights,” suggests Cooper. “If you’ve paid for expensive theatre or film tickets, you’ll be less likely to work late.”
Big yourself up “Stop eyebrows raising when you leave on time by telling your boss exactly what you’ve achieved that day,” says career coach Helen Redfern. “Have you finished that project or made all your calls? Tell your boss and they’ll know you’re performing up to standard, even if other colleagues stay longer.”
5. MINI-BASKETBALL With the usual testosteronefilled antics, get a ball and shoot for the sky, and make a wager on who makes the next hoop. It helps relieve stress, if anything.
6. POWER SHAKES Got lockjaws from constantly saying the wrong things - or maybe you have a medical reason for not being able to speak properly. Whatever, a power shake will keep your energy up when you can’t handle solid foods intake. Office Politics 13
WORDS: SIOBHAN GROGAN/ GLAMOUR, HUGO WALSH/ THE GUARDIAN PHOTO: PRO.CORBIS.COM
W
e work the longest hours in Europe (average of 16 hours per day), clocking up over seven hours of unpaid overtime every week. “Employees often think putting in long hours shows more commitment than doing the job well,” explains Cary Cooper, professor of organisational psychology at Lancaster University. “But in the long term you’ll burn out before you’ve even reached the top. It’s much better to work a harder, smarter 9 to 5.” See our four-point plan:
Sometimes you gotta go to work in your trainers. But remember to keep a pair of neat-n-tidies under your desk for backup, in case you’re in a rush one day and unkindly forget to bring your shoes in with you.
meeting
Are you a MINUTES man? How to dissolve information from complicated office meetings and ensure you take minutes the right way
W
hat would the working day be without meetings? Well, apart from a lot shorter... So, you were just elected secretary of that board you sit on. How do you complete the most important part of your job, writing of the minutes? They are a record of what was decided and proposed. What do you do when you’ve had a rough night and struggle to pay attention? You’ll have to find other ways of keeping alert, from double espressos to propping your eyelids open with matchsticks, as you sit with pen and shorthand pad at the ready, poised to note down each and every pearl of wisdom that ensues. Good luck!
table, as soon as the chairperson calls the meeting to order. You will be able to refer to this record in order to document attendance. 3. Call the meeting to order. Say, ‘At 6pm on Friday, Feb 21st 2010, I call the meeting to order’. Note on your piece of paper the time the meeting was called to order. 4. Read the agenda. Since you’re the secretary, you will have prepared a draft agenda. The chairperson will ask you to read it. After you have done that, note on your paper that the draft was read out and whether any motions were made.
“Since you’re the secretary,
WORDS: WIKIPEDIA., IPHOTOS: .EHOW.COM/ UWYO.EDU
you will have prepared a draft agenda. The chairperson will ask you to read it” 1. Bring a notebook and laptop with you. Make sure that it is something you are comfortable working with. If you will be writing minutes often, it is advisable that you buy a decent book than taking your son’s Winnie the Pooh binder. Also, it’s advisable that you have a good pen. Some seasoned secretaries would suggest using a pencil instead. 2. Head a paper with columns for name and contact information. Put a note on the top of the page indicating that the paper should be returned to you. Pass it around the 14 Office Politics
5. Read the draft minutes. You may be asked to read the minutes from the last meeting. It is essential that you have them with you. They can be distributed beforehand or you can read them there and then. 6. Listen to the other reports. A f t e r
... excellence ñOffering er ft a s te u min I’ll take the tion my presenta
reading draft minutes from the last meeting, other attendees may have a report to make. Make sure at the end of the meeting, they give you a copy of their report. Note who read them and whether the motion either carried or failed. 7. Record the old business. This is anything that needed a follow up from last meeting. Did someone need to write a letter? Was it sent? Not anything that was done or not done and by whom. 8. Record the new business. When someone has an issue to address they will make a motion. For example, ‘I move to give £100 to Office Politics.’ It is important that you write down the exact words. 9. Note w h o
. ute detail.. ñThe min te a tr n conce it’s best to te notes all ri w to than the time
m a d e motions, seconded motions and whether or not they passed or failed. Also, write down who has to do what. 10 Leave out unimportant details. If an amendment is made, you do not have to write that someone proposed making an amendment. Just make sure, if it is passed, that it is in the main motion when you write it down. 11. Make sure you have everything need after the meeting adjourns: who sent regrets? Who was there? All the reports. Location of the meeting. 12.Type up the minutes. Don’t put in it ‘Member A said he did not agree’. You must not put the debate into the minutes. Even if you spend three hours debating something, only put who made the motion, the exact wording and whether it passed or failed. 13. Distribute your draft. Once you have typed them, send them out to members. But remember, until they’re approved by your boss, they are only draft minutes, subject to change at any time.
meeting
ñWe’re all in the same gang... I’m breaking a sweat and this guy is doing all the pointing
people power GETTING THE RIGHT MIX Above all, getting the right people to participate in team building activities will determine how successful your event is. A team leader usually looks for specific things in his or her members in order to ensure ‘success’ in the project. This could well mean bringing together strong personalities who don’t get on but need to learn to work closely to help the business grow. Sales teams very often feature driven individuals who compete with one another for business and company rewards. Team building can offer lighthearted ways of imparting more serious messages about the importance of co-operation and communication for the betterment of the organisation
and the individual. Sometimes it is just about creating a working environment that is a more pleasant place to come to.
CONNECTING PEOPLE Often, at more senior levels, a finance director may very well have little to do with the marketing director on a dayto-day basis. However, a team building exercise can bring them closer both professionally and personally - promoting an understanding of the specific challenges of a role and offering a more human side to relationships. These benefits can bear fruit when it comes to strategic planning in any number of business operations, from recruitment planning to implementing IT systems. In any
group there will be those that are more confident and extrovert in nature.These individuals will be vital in inspiring other, more reluctant participants - but they must also learn to sublimate their outgoing natures to give space for others to grow into themselves. Assigning roles to team members helps them to know their place on the team. Each member should be assigned a role that is clearly defined and relates to his or her personality, offering challenges that are finally achievable. The advantages of defining roles among team members are that they make assignments more straightforward, help to clarify the decision-making process, and assure the task will - usually at least - be completed!
WORDS: ANDY ZNEIMER/ THE APPRENTICE MAGAZINE PHOTO: CORPORATETRENDSETTERS.COM
T Teamwork is absolutely key in successful organisations. We look at how team building can tap the potential of everyone...
ù MEMO
There’s a teambuilding exercise this weekend: paintballing We aim to encourage self control.
Office Politics 15
log out
business
nc lu h
∑ “I’ll have the lobster!” Taking your client out of their normal office environment for a business lunch can work wonders for a pitch, but remember to follow some golden rules first
I ... ‘Whoever ñIIt al ian job was hands-on said this work weren’t lying’
16 Office Politics
t’s estimated that more business deals get done over lunch than get done in the board room so it goes without saying that business lunches are not events to be taken lightly nor are they simply about two people or a group of people getting together for a ‘catch-up’ and an excuse not to go back to the office in the afternoon. For those who have experienced countless business lunches they can be something to be looked forward to or they can be loathed but perceived as a necessary part of the job whilst for the uninitiated, the thought of a business lunch is enough to have you quaking in your boots. However, they can be very pleasurable experiences or, at least, bearable if you know a few ‘rules’ about what’s expected and how you should conduct yourself.
PICK SOMEWHERE NICE Be smart and test out a location beforehand. What may look fantastic on the outside can just as well be a dump inside. And let’s pray that you haven’t ordered food prior to the man taking an open mic and revelling everyone in need of more stand-up comedy. That’s not a good business look.
BE THERE ON TIME There is nothing more annoying for the person waiting than for their guest(s) being late for a business lunch. Contrary to some people’s opinions, business lunches are not an excuse to take the afternoon off and enjoy yourself and, whilst some will inevitably last longer than others, many busy business people have a strictly managed timetable so, unless it’s absolutely out of your control, never be late for
a business lunch.The memory of you arriving late will live long beyond any apology for being so.
SMALL TALK This is one of those areas which so often puts people at their ease but which can also cause the most embarrassment. There are no hard and fast rules about how long you should wait until you get around to the subject of business and a general rule of thumb is to be guided by the person who has invited you. If they’re happy to chat about the football last night for 5 minutes or so, go along with that as it will help you relax and put you more at ease for when you get down to the nitty-gritty of discussing business. However, if there are VIPs present or the chairman of the company is there, it’s more likely that they’ll want to keep any small talk to
ñIn for the kill... ‘You’ll have to excuse Brenda, she can be a little ‘goal-oriented’ at times’
WHO PAYS? No matter that your guest may be far richer than you, if you’ve done the inviting, you should always pick up the tab. If it’s a joint meeting, you should always ask either at the beginning or before the meeting has taken place how they want to split the bill and not wait until the bill arrives to discuss it as that shows an element of professional weakness. And, if somebody has agreed to meet you as you’re seeking advice from them, not only you should you pay but it’s also good manners to send them a ‘thank you’ note which is handwritten and even perhaps send them
a small gift to express your gratitude at giving up some of their time for you.
UTENSILS Whether it’s your napkin or knife and fork, knowing how to use your utensils is often the one thing that instills fear into everybody who’s not been used to attending a business lunch. It’s quite simple to remember really and most people who get it wrong do so because they’ve been so paralysed by fear and they’ve convinced themselves they will mess up regardless. So, it’s place the napkin on your lap not down your shirt collar and usually, if the napkin is still in the wine goblet and not placed on the table, you can take that to indicate that the waiter will place the napkin on your lap for you. Bread and salad plates are
usually placed on your left, drinking glasses on your right. However, the important thing to remember about business lunches is that they’re usually so focused on business that if you use the wrong knife for a particular course, it’s not going to cost you the ‘deal’. Some people have had far more experience of business lunches than others and it comes more naturally to some people more than others and you get used to them over time as you attend more. So as long as you are polite and respectful, don’t get too agitated at the thought of attending a business lunch, the next time you’re invited to one. But there is one final iron rule of the business lunch: no-one gives a contract to someone with a handshake that smells of prawns.
CH T LUN CLIEN
:
ff Turn o ile! b my mo handshake, no fists! WORDS: WORKETIQUETTE.CO.UK, GILES MORRIS/ THE GUARDIAN, PHOTOS: HOTTIESPIZZA.COM, CARTOONSTOCK.COM
a minimum and get on with the business at hand. It’s always better to take your cue from the person who invited you with regard to this delicate matter.
Office Politics 17
lunch
Á
salads Not sure what to eat this lunchtime, but don’t want anything too heavy. Try a delicious salad from Waitrose, or follow the instructions below and make one yourself Chicken and Bean Salad Serves: 4 Prep time : 10 minutes Cook time : 30 minutes Total time : 40 minutes 400g pack Waitrose Chicken Breast Chunks 1 red onion, cut into small wedges Filippo Berio Extra Virgin Olive Oil spray 1 tsp Waitrose Cooks’ Ingredients Wild Rosemary 2 tsp Waitrose Cooks’ Ingredients Balsamic Glaze 1⁄2 x 300g pack cherry vine tomatoes 1⁄2 x 100g pack Waitrose Salad Spinach 410g can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
FOR THE DRESSING: Zest of 1 lemon plus 1⁄2 the juice 2 tsp extra virgin olive oil 1 tbsp balsamic vinegar/ Pinch sugar
til Salad n e L d n a t Beetroo
WORDS:/PHOTOS: WAITROSE
day... You’ll ñDish of the nfed once oo want to be sp ed this salada you’ve sampl
EASY TO MAKE,
DELICIOUS TO TASTE
18 Office Politics
(opposite page)
1. Preheat the oven to 200°C, gas mark 6. Place the chicken in a small roasting tin with the onion and mist lightly with the olive oil spray. Sprinkle with the rosemary, season and mix well to evenly coat the chicken. 2. Place in the oven and roast for 20-25 minutes until the chicken is thoroughly cooked. Drizzle with the balsamic glaze, stir and return to the oven for a further 5 minutes. 3. Put the tomatoes in a small ovenproof dish and spray with a little oil. Place in the oven for the last 10-15 minutes of the chicken’s cooking time until they start to burst. 4. Remove the chicken and tomatoes from the oven, then allow to stand for 5 minutes before tipping into a large serving bowl with the spinach and beans. 5. Make the dressing by whisking together all the ingredients. Drizzle over the salad and toss well. Serve immediately with chunks of warm Waitrose granary baguette.
Serves: 4 Prep time : 10 minutes Cook time : 10 minutes Total time : 20 minutes 2 x 250g packs Waitrose Organic Cooked Beetroot, drained 1 tbsp Waitrose Organic Italian Extra Virgin Olive Oil 2 tsp Waitrose Organic Balsamic Vinegar of Modena 400g can Epicure Organic Puy Lentils, drained/ rinsed 4 tbsp Duchy Originals Organic Honey & Mustard Vinaigrette 55g bag Organic Rocket 1 bag John Hurd’s Traditionally Bunched Organic Watercress,
100g pack Pant-Ysgawn Farm Organic Goat’s Cheese 1. Preheat the oven to 200°C, gas mark 6. Cut each beetroot into 4 wedges. Place in a large roasting tin, drizzle with the oil and vinegar, and season. Roast for 10 minutes, stirring after 5 minutes, until the beetroot wedges are warmed through. 2. Tip the lentils into a bowl, add the warm beetroot then spoon over the vinaigrette dressing. Mix well. 3. Divide the rocket and watercress between 4 plates and arrange the lentils and beetroot on top. Crumble the cheese over and serve immediately.
r o f s e Recip
N O I T C E PERF
y out... Perfectl ñChick this for y st ta d an ng light, refreshi lunches your summer
Office Politics 19
lunch
Á
retail NEXT CREAM & BLACK
RRP £35
ACCESSORIZE CREAM HAT
RRP £30 BHS BLACK & CREAM HAT
RRP £50
IT’S WEDDING SEASON! While everyone loves the big day, women always ensure their hats, gowns owns and dresses are the centre ntre o of attentio ntion
B
PHOTOS: AUSTIN SCARLETT/ LK BENNETT
ù MEMO
The company offers a staff discount for people getting married in January. It’s around 2% off on dresses.
20 Office Politics
ridal wear, bridal accessories, flowers, stationery, table flowers bouquet presentation, reception venues, catering and mobile bar, cake and sweets, chocolate and champagne, gifts and rings, keepsakes, jewellers and jewellery, transport, horse and churches and registry office, honeymoon, hotel accommodation, decorations, balloons, banners and venue decoration, beauty and hairdressing, entertainment and music, hen and stag, organising the day, toastmasters and speeches, outfits for the bridemaids, menswear ladieswear, financial advice, financial advisors, insurance, photographers and videomakers - and of course, you. So while weddings may seem like the monster of all tasks, we’ve decidedly focus on the thing that gets all the women excited about the day. No, we’re not talking about the big honeymoon face-off you’ve
been waiting 20 years for. It’s the dress. The symbol of virtue that distinguishes all ladies from other spinsters around them. But with beautiful designed gowns on display, it’s only right that a lady feel her inner desire to smirm and gloat at any cost. Who knows (and here’s hoping) it may be her only chance to do so, ever!
ñGood Good looks... looks LK Bennett dress, £250
meeting
AUSTIN SCARLETT
AUSTIN SCARLETT
£1500
£900
AUSTIN SCARLETT
AUSTIN SCARLETT
AUSTIN SCARLETT
£1700
£2500
£2000
AUSTIN SCARLETT
AUSTIN SCARLETT
AUSTIN SCARLETT
£2000
£4500
£3000
£3500
WORDS: MAGIC; PHOTO: GUARDIAN
AUSTIN SCARLETT
Office Politics 03
lunch
Á
THTC Started in university, THTC owners thought that if they’re smoking so much hemp and pot, why not create some cool clothing naturally inspired by the distinctive produce? This idea was the beginning of what would become a fruitfuk career.
ENDORSEMENTS
retail You know it’s summer when all the lads start whipping out their T-shirts, so for a marvellous natural selection, why not search out THTC
! s u s s T t e e w S
Now in major retailers, such as TK Maxx, THTC has the backing of many entertainers who ho dig the light but creative touch of the designers.
ñPeace e to all... all rapper Jehst shows that he’s a man of high taste
thtc.co.uk
ñGoldie mine... It does what it says on the tin
ñPoet’s corner ner Benjamin ner... Zephaniah loves the light feel of THTC
ñThe boys’ club.. A slick girls’ range is also available
ALL T-SHIRTS:
RRP £25
22 Office Politics
jobs
INTERVIEWING THE INTERVIEWER... Got an interview at lunch – well, make sure you get a confident footing at your meeting by understanding the interview process
lunch
Mus
:
t Do
l il mai ema e c k t o v o ic e e t i ng h C . e 1 n IC S i s te or m 2 . L e p a re f E POLIT IC 3. Pr ad OFF e 4. R
PART OF A TEAM ñThe big boss... What if Alan Sugar is your interviewer?!
If you have dreams to start your own business, then it’s best to avoid going to job interviews where the firm is looking for somebody to ‘fit right in’. Being your own boss allows a freedom of identity and makes you tackle business issues you may not be familar with, or goals that you’ve always wanted to attain. So be clear on your personality and personal situation before you apply for a role that wants the best teamplayer around.
SALARY DISCUSSION
a positive note. “Always be prepared to end your interview session on an assumptive close,” says Hinton. “Have in your head a few sentences which clarify what your skills are, what your achievements have been and what your objectives are for the future. This makes sense of why you want to join them.” Last impressions count so ending your interview well will help the interviewer remember you, which is of utmost importance, especially as they’re likely to be seeing other candidates. For interview tips, visit bemyinterviewer.co.uk or visit, graduateinterviewcoach.com for more detailed information on interviews.
( What did the National Express boss say to an employee?
WORDS: JOBSITE.CO.UK, PHOTO: GUARDIAN.CO.UK
business is facing,” says Barrie Hinton of careerinterviewcoach. com. “People like talking about their own business and if you ask how they see the market they’re in developing over the next few years, you’ll get an insight to how forward thinking the company is.” The questions will need to be relevant to the person who is interviewing you - not just standard ones which feel generic and plain. Be prepared to use your judgment as well. Sometimes the interviewer may have time to answer a host of questions, or maybe time for just one or two, so it’s essential to state the most effective ones first. Whatever the outcome, try to leave the interview on
(
Y
ou’ve made it to the end of the interview, fielded off some pretty killer questions, and givem some pretty nifty answers. Now you’ve just got to get past the final hurdle: do you have any questions of your own for the interviewer? Don’t be dismissive of this end-of-session chat – what you say here might just help you get through to the next round. Everyone knows that the first rule of thumb for interviews is preparation. You have a rough idea of what the interviewer might ask and plenty of time to practise some answers. It’s just the time with questions. “Ask the interviewer what they consider what challenges their
It’s well-documented that it’s never sensible to mention money when you’re at the initial stages of an interview, but this isnt always true. If you’re considering a career change or the advert didn’t specify a rounded figure, then it’s best to see what kind of cash you’ll be dealing with if you want the job and if the interviwer likes you.
You’re slow late, coach !
Office Politics 23
work Despite research that says companies run by women make more profit, and the growing number of businesswomen in the workplace, the female struggle for office equality and ultimately, the top job, appears to be as elusive as ever
r no te
af
on
∏
ñShe means business... ‘Start as you mean to go on’, my mum always said
THE NEW GIRLS’ CLUB?
WORDS: CHRISTINE TOOMEY/ THE SUNDAY TIMES, OLIVIA HOLCOMBE/ THE, APPRENTICE MAGAZINE, ELLEN WIDDUP/ LONDON LITE, BBC, 2009, PHOTO: CORPORATETRENDS
W
24 Office Politics
e’ve seen the films (The Firm, The Client - any other John Grisham adaptation) and our eyes have absorbed how boardrooms are filled always with male banter, speaking about last night’s football game, how Britney Spears is developing well - physically, and how big their penises (err, wage slips) are. And while this banter is there to lighten and deviate from serious boardroom discussion, the old boys’ club mentality that head these companies is still alive and kicking. Sure, there’s an uncomfortable shock and silence when a female executive is present - but is this the reason why so few women are accepted into the hallowed halls of a company’s boardroom meeting? Maybe the ‘glass ceiling’ has, in fact, become a concrete one. The number of women holding senior posts in politics, the law and the media has fallen compared with last year, according to a report.The Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) claimed that in 12 of 25 job categories it studied, there were fewer women holding top posts.The EHRC said its annual
study of women in top positions of power and influence across public and private sectors showed the biggest number of reversals since the report was started five years ago. Nicola Brewer, the chief executive of the EHRC, says: “Workplaces forged in an era of stay-at-home mums and breadwinner dads are putting too many barriers in the way, resulting in an avoidable loss of talent at the top.”
TOO MANY MALES On a similar note, the first woman to lead employers’ body the CBI thinks there are too many white men in the boardroom. Former Economist magazine chief Helen Alexander, a 52year-old mother of three, warns that companies that employ only white males in top jobs risk damaging their businesses by indulging in narrow ‘groupthink’. “The tone and range of things that are discussed [on boards] can be improved with a diverse team,” she says.
business
work WOMEN & MOTHERHOOD What happens next when the biological clock has ticked?
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Are business leaders and employers too aware of the potential dire consequences if they succumb and let women run the show? Possibly, experience tells them that there’s going to be a ‘decrease in company competence’, ‘plunging shareholder confidence’ and a more scarily, a ‘downward flight of foreign capital’. These are (believe it or not) serious pinstripe concerns, and could they be right? Traditions are not solely established for traditional purposes, but given that acceptance, they are often due a regular update. Research in 1996 by management consultant Advanced Teamware showed that in its study of 6,000 managers doing various management tasks (including leading, communicating, problem solving ), the conclusion was that women performed better, using their brain-skill areas more efficiently.
BRIGHTER, YOUNGER, DISTINGUISHED And it seems that when newly appointed to board positions, women tend to have higher educational and professional qualifications than many of the male colleagues they replace, or sit next to. They’re also more likely to be brighter, younger (prettier?), and have usually distinguished themselves in a variety of other professional careers before their appointment. Norway minister Ansgar Gabrielsen kick started a quota law across Europe in 2002 that has put more businesswomen into power positions - a 40% quota: where women were targeted to run their firms. Hundreds of men would be gradually removed from
Ireland France Germany Holland Spain Italy
their positions as directors and replaced by women. If the companies did not comply, Gabrielsen would introduce legislation to see them prosecuted.The public mood in Norway didn’t just warm to it, they seemed to embraced it with a passion.
WOMEN BANKERS So, while our current financial chiefs finally stop analysing Didier Drogba’s amazing right foot and get on with some work, can women bankers and investment managers get us out of the economic mess that their male colleagues got us into? Will it take women to ensure the future health of the financial sector? Halla Tomasdottir and Kristin Petursdottir are convinced the answer is yes. They set up their investment firm Audur Capital in Iceland (yes, Iceland!) to prove it. “But not women alone in the boardroom,” says Halla, the Audur chairman. “A world of only women would be just as imbalanced. We need a balance between men and women to make healthier decisions.” However, in an aim to do the right thing, David Cameron suggested in 2008 that he would operate a quota of women cabinet ministers to address the gender imbalance; some of the vehement objections came from female colleagues. Some women MPs said they’d be ‘grossly insulted’ if they were given a front-bench position on those terms. Oh well, it appears that we’ll have to go back to the drawing board(room).
WITH business, it’s all about the sale. Get that money by any means necessary. Large corporations demand seemingly endless days spent travelling far from home, which means missing important family milestone. “Retaining good female talent is the biggest challenge that organisations have right now,” says Maxine Benson, co-founder of resource tool Everywoman. “Increasingly, women are leaving senior jobs in business because it’s all got too difficult, especially if they’re mothers.” To make things worse, it’s reported only 5% of bosses said they had hired someone ñNicola knowing they Brewer.. Brewer were pregnant. More than half of UK bosses assess the chances of a member of staff falling pregnant before employing them, a survey suggests. The Employment Law Advisory Services (ELAS) said discrimination was prevalent, despite legislation to outlaw it.
DIFFICULT TIMES Equality and Human Rights Commission’s Nicola Brewer.“At the helpline, we still get a high proportion of calls from women at work who are pregnant who are suffering difficulties. “How the workplace is organised, how it’s really quite inflexible, how there is a lot of occupational segregation and how the definition of success is still quite old fashioned.” Office Politics 25
WORDS: BBC, PHOTO: FARM4.STATIC.FLICKR.COM
BOARD GAMES
work
YOUR DESK! It’s time to ditch that novelty mouse mat and cheesy photos and get less mess, and more importantly, how to achieve less stress
• WORDS: THEO THEOBALD AND CARY COOPER/ SHORTLIST, PHOTO:SAMSONOFFICESUPPLIES.FILES.
DAY 1
ù MEMO
Can somebody let the new guy from Disney know that it’s hazardous to leave coats on the floor.? Thanks!
26 Office Politics
GET RID OF THE RUBBISH
Most people’s desks contain a combination of three elements: ‘personal’, ‘work’ and ‘rubbish’. ‘Rubbish’ includes the bits of Blu-Tack and bent paperclips you play with; ‘personal’ mostly comprises photographs of loved ones; and everything else falls into ‘work’: folders, files and equipment, such as keyboards, monitors, calculators and clocks. The first part of the clearing process is to take everything off the desk (except items that might be ‘hard-wired’ like monitors and keyboards). Put it all into a box to store it. As you go, recognise rubbish for what it is and bin it. Next, think about today. Check what needs to be done and write down a list of the files, folders and other paperwork you’re going to require, then carefully select them from the pile. Now you have cleared your desk completely in preparation for what will ‘flow through’ during the day and you’ve made a plan for how to use your time.
• DAY 2
SORT OUT YOUR PRIORITIES
Start by reviewing your work area. Don’t sit down until you’ve completed the process of storing an image of your workspace - it’s important to be able to look back and see (in your mind’s eye) the difference you made yesterday. Think about items that crept back on to your desk inadvertently. Most likely there will be work items. Before you do anything else, put it all in the box - even if you already know that the first file of the day that you’ll ‘pull’ is the one in front of you, it’s critical to start with a completely clear space. Produce an itinerary - allocate task-times as well as prioritising the order of things to do. Whatever happens today you need to be ruthless as your task is to leave work at the time you want to. Take a Post-It, draw a clock face on it with the time of your departure, then attach it to your screen so that every time you look up you will have a reminder of the necessity to crack on.
work
Mus
Now it’s time to tackle the box. Remove the work-related items and find a home for them. The next part of the process involves ‘desk-mapping’. This simply means that the greater the frequency of use, the nearer to hand something is. Organise your desk drawers this way, keeping pens and other commonly used stationery in the top drawer. Other items go further down. Sort live and pending files by order of priority, with the most urgent at the top. Paperwork should be sorted into two files, called ‘action’ and ‘filing’. Your action pile is only for the things that you’ll do today and it should be stacked in chronological order.
•
TIME FOR ACTION
DAY 5
Take a piece of paper and take a list of all the ‘known’ things you have to action. If you suspect that more responsibility is going to be placed on your shoulders, this doesn’t count - only include what’s current. List the jobs sensibly (i.e. don’t include every email that needs a reply). Now subdivide the list by date and time required. All the items that need actioning today should be transferred to your itinerary, the others need timescales put besides them so you have an idea what’s coming up over the next few days. Set aside 10 minutes at the end of the day. Get the list from when you began work and the ad-hoc items as each unforeseen piece of work crops up. By putting the lists side by side, you’ll get a true picture of everything you’ve done, or need to do. It doesn’t matter how many of the items on your organised list you managed to get through, the important thing s the overall picture of how you spent your time.
•
ACCEPT YOUR FAILINGS
DAY 6
It’s unlikely that, whatever your intentions and actions, by now there will have been a bit of slippage, so you have 30 minutes to exactly rectify the damage with a whirlwind spring clean. Because the detox only takes a few minutes everyday, there will be things left undone.
Adjusting your mindset can be difficult as you’ve set out on a process that is overtly designed to ‘purify’ your workspace. The truth is that emails will continue to arrive, objectives will carry on being set and dust will gather again. Revisiting what you’ve acgieved on
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il il e m a o ic e m a g e ck v in 1. C h s te n t o r me e t ICS i o L f IT L . e O r 2 epa ICE P 3. Pr ad OFF e 4. R
“Revisiting what you’ve
achieved on a daily basis is important. It helps restore your balance of tidiness” a daily basis is important. It helps you to restore your balance of tidiness but also gives you the opportunity to achieve more. If you’re starting with a fresh workspace every day, you’ll have more time to do other jobs.
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POINTLESS EMAILS
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APPRAISE YOURSELF
DAY 8
If you’ve still got a trillion emails it’s time to sort them out. Highlight everything that’s over six months old and, if you’re feeling brave, press the shift and delete keys (this removes them from your machine rather just clogging up your ‘deleted’ box). For the faint of heart, you could just back them up. Also, turn the sound off so that you can’t hear the incoming-email alert, then minimise the visual cue to signal the arrival of new mail. In your itinerary, schedule email time in chunks that are no longer than 20 minutes then focus on what you have to get through.
It’s time to assess how fat you’ve come. The first thing to do is complete an appraisal of your workspace. Refer back to the audit you made that charted your starting position. Compare all of this to the way things are now. Remember, detoxing is only a means of starting to work, think and live differently. DAY 10
OFFICE JOKE This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done. Office Politics 27
work
IT solutions
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How can I search the internet effectively? Whether you’re looking for a cheap flight, settling an office dispute or doing legitimate research, search engines can be your saviours... and they can also make you want to pull your hair out. The information should be easy to find, right? So why have you just spent the last hour trying to locate it? Like many things, it’s all about the way you ask. Search engines only look for keywords, so typing
in a sentence full of ‘ands’ and ‘ifs’ isnt’ going to help.Try using only the words that are most likely to appear, and put any hrases in quote marks so the search engine knows not to look for each word individually. Another way to cut down the pages of results is by using modifiers. For example, is you want to find documents where the words appear in the title, just enter ‘allintitle:’ before your search terms. Likewise, if you know that the URL of a website contains
certain words type ‘allinurl:’ instead. A handy one when looking for definitions is to put ‘define:’ before your word, which will bring up a selection of definitions from a range of sources. On the flip side, if there’s something you know you’re not searching for, you can omit these results by using the minus sign. So, for instance, if you’re looking into history and enter ‘Queen’ you can avoid anything Bohemiian Rhadsody-related by following your search term with ‘band’.
HOW CAN I REMEMBER MY WEB PASSWORDS?
( What did the computer with 1MB say before deleting trash?
( I think I’ve go t files!
There’s nothing more infuritating than being denied access to your online account because you’ve forgotten your password. Between Facebook, Twitter, forums, email accounts, eBay, our memories are being tested more than ever. Prompted to enter a username and password, most of us resort to typing in a range of tried-andtested favourites in hope we get lucky. But aside from keeping a handy checklist for thieves, what else can we do to store these passwords safely? No solution is totally secure, but software memory-masters are now incorporating increasingly sophisticated encryption techniques to prevent prying eyes. Steganos Password
Manager is one such program. For £9.95, users can organise their login details, Pin numbers and other personal information in an encrypted repository. It’s only necessary to remember one password to unlock it. Other similar software includes Password Agent from Moon Software, which is free to use and can store up to 25 passwords per file. The program combines a secure password generator with a database of your web passwords. Again, you’ll still have to remmeber the master password to access the rest. Mac users have a built-in solution in the form of the Keychain Manager, but the more extensive 1Passwd is fully integrated with the Mac OS.
WORDS: MIRIAM BRENT /GUARDIAN, PHOTO: UWYO.EDU
AGE DISCRIMATION QUIZ ANSWERS Question 1. The answer was B You can still be asked for your date of birth. However, one employer, Asda, recently announced that it would be removing the date of birth question from its application forms. Question 2. The answer was A Experts have said this is unlawful.There have already been tribunal cases in Ireland - which has had age discrimination laws since 1998 - as a result of this question being asked. Question 3. The answer was B Legally speaking your boss is wrong but is sensible to be cautious. Employment lawyers say ageist jokes could be used as 28 Office Politics
part of a case for age discrimination. Question 4. The answer was A It is true that it is usually illegal to deny someone access to training on age grounds. However, if the employer can show that they can not recoup the costs of your training during your remaining time they can deny you training. Question 5. The answer was A Employers will continue to be allowed to operate pension schemes, which have a minimum or maximum age for admission. Question 6. The answer was B Under the new law you only have the right to request to stay on beyond age 65. The
employer is free to refuse your request to work on and does not have to give a reason in writing. Question 7. The answer was B This is unlawful. Employers have to offer staff the same terms and conditions regardless of their age. Question 8. The answer was B Your employer does not have to allow you to work different hours because you have reached a certain age. Question 9. The answer was A Being too young to command the respect of clients is not a legitimate legal reason to deny you promotion.
technology
work
“Office Politics thinks that such beauty should be accountable only to supermodels, not a gadget destined to retire as soon as it hits your pocket”
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Office Politics 29
work
death ñDealing with death.. it’s never an open and shut case
H
ere’s an oldie but goodie: a mate of mine died last night, but me - hell, I feel fine. This is clearly not a desired icebreaker. Coming into work, finishing work related tasks, completing work projects may help you feel you’re still contributing something as part of a team, which in turn, may increase your confidence and raise your self esteem, but truth is - you ain’t ready for all the work bullshit. You need to grieve. While work does take the mind off a loss and enables you to feel normal for a while, your tough exterior is not relaying to others that your job is, at this moment, unimportant. “Individuals may experience an inability to concentrate, a decline in performance, a lack of motivation and more physical symptoms such as tiredness and loss of appetite,” says Denise Kantor Kaydar, from the bereavement charity Cruse. “If you have lost someone close, you will need time off to arrange the funeral, visit relatives and make other practical arrangements. But it’s also important to rest at this time, and ensure that you are fit for work.” Management and co-workers may not appreciate the hardship that grief can cause, particularly in the workplace. If you’re unable to verbally convey your feelings during conversation, then try sending a letter to
Bereave and STOP
WORDS: LORRAINE BRIDGES/THE GUARDIAN KIRSTI A. DYER, MD, MS/ JOURNEY OF HEARTS/ UHD.EDU
Returning to work after the death of a loved one is often a traumatic experience, and it’s usually not the most approachable subject
30 Office Politics
your workplace informing your supervisors of the loss and allowing them to pass the information on to your colleagues. In doing this, you let people know what is happening and avoid having to tell and retell the story of your loss over and over again to everyone in the office. Unfortunately, productivity can be compromised and the dynamics of the workplace can change when a sudden death occurs. A violent act or an accident may heighten the grief response for the survivors, further impacting work. Sarah Weeks’s mother died suddenly from a heart attack, but she decided to go back to her job as a teacher after just one week following the death. “I wanted to take my mind off things and I thought I’d probably
be better off at work. But it was totally as if nothing had happened - my mum wasn’t mentioned, I wasn’t asked how I was, and I was given more work covering someone else’s classes.” The time to bereave is usually prolonged if you do not feel aided by your manager, supervisor or employer. Those who feel cared for and supported are more likely to have improved recovery. In practice, it is often left up to the employer to determine what is reasonable. Most companies will offer a period of compassionate leave, paid or unpaid, on the death of a dependent (spouse, parent, child or someone living in the same household). But remember you are under obligation to inform your boss that you need time off as soon as possible.
stress
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DEATH AT WORK for someone or something to blame. Witnesses of a fatal accident should consult your employer to determine what arrangements are in place for conducting an immediate critical incident debriefing or short-term counselling service. A good employer may offer support ranging from flexible working arrangements, employee assistance programmes (EAPs) and in-house support and advisory departments. Obviously, death is something inevitable, so bosses should try to be sympathetic to the effects of bereavement on an employee. “Managers should ask how they wish to be treated and respect their wishes, taking into account any religious considerations,” says Kaydar from Cruse. “Don’t be afraid to mention the death, and check in now and again to make sure they’re OK. Warning signs that someone is not coping include a change in behaviour and weight loss.”
Handle stress like a man...
r rowing o b th r o w s ie g -go strate
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M
en are 50% less likely to develop depression than women - and no, it’s not because they’re spared PMT! Research shows that women internalise problems more than men, which, says psychologist Ben Fletcher, “can cause an increase of the stress hormone cortisol in your brain and weaken your immune system.”
1. SWEAT IT OUT Before the 2006 Oscars, triple nominee George Clooney hit the basketball court to relax. “Exercising releases moodboosting endorphins,” says Neil Shah, director of The Stress Management Society. “Plus, it gives your body the chance to burn off the adrenaline you release when you’re stressed.” Women tend to opt for the gym, but take a leaf out of a man’s book and go outside. “Being exposed to daylight
and fresh air is very helpful in relieving stress,” says Shah.
2. MAKE A NOISE “Studies show that music activates a different area of your brain than stress, and can act as a diversionary tactic, distracting you from worrying,” says Shah. “You can then return to the problem with a fresh perspective.” “Music also causes your body to release calming hormones,” adds Fletcher. “So anything from listening to your iPod for a few minutes to singing along to the car radio at full volume can help.”
3. BE SILLY “The male tendency to laugh things off can have a profound impact on our stress levels,” ñAsleep on the job... A break can be the best thing at times
See my r superviso Get some time off work!
from him
says Shah. “The next time you’re stressed, use your imagination and do something silly. I ask my clients to imagine that their stress is a tangible object.Try the ‘Wood Chop’. Picture the source of your stress as a piece of wood and then chop it to bits.You may feel silly but this is a great way to eliminate the tension.”
4. LEAVE YOUR DESK A quarter of women never take a lunch break, while more than half of men take an hour every day. “A break is vital,” says Shah. “Stress has a compounding effect, so if you start the day harassed and don’t do anything to release that tension, you’ll feel irritable and even ill by the end of the day. You should take an hour for lunch, but if you really can’t, at least take time to get some air. Even a twominute break every hour can be enough to completely change your mood.”
WORDS: VIRGINIA SOLE-SMITH/GLAMOUR
You go to work expecting things to be business as usual. At the end of the day, you go home to your families.The last thing you’d expect is for a colleague to die in the workplace, either from natural causes, or as a result of a tragic event. When a death occurs in the workplace, the normally orderly environment can quickly turn to one of chaos. If the death occurred as a result of an industrial incident, fire, murder, or similar tragic incident, you have to deal with additional concerns in addition to the shock, the death of the colleague and the loss of safety in the work environment. Staff and management may be concerned about how and why the incident occurred and what sort of steps are being taken to ensure another accident will not happen and/or the security is being increased to protect you from future acts of violence. Death in the workplace may result in feelings of anger, guilt, unease and fears for personal safety, plus the pervasive need
Office Politics 31
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The day has finally come to an end and you’re still at your computer slogging away. But you go home anyway – you’ve got plenty of better things to do!
HEAD OUT, LET YOUR HAIR DOWN AND GET WILD FOR THE NIGHT
SEE BEYONCE IN CONCERT AT THE O2, OR WATCH HER NEW FILM, OR BUY HER CD!
GO TO THE TATE MODERN AND CHECK OUT A PAINTING OR TWO
WATCH THE PREMIERSHIP CELEBRATIONS OF MAN UTD AGAIN AND AGAIN
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SEE WHO THE PAPS FLASH AT LEICESTER SQUARE
( And... action!!
Opfofliitcices
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June 09 Do: ail email voicem ng 1. Check to meeti CS 2. Listen re for POLITI 3. Prepa OFFICE 4. Read
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Sex and fail... s, that is!
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IT’S WEDDING SEASON:
Got your hat?!
e minutes Meetings: Tak without – the right way ed... getting too bor Women lose out on W JUNE 2009 UK ISSUE 1 A Blank Screen Publishing Publication
PHOTOS: NATIONAL MAGAZINE COMPANY/ INDIE SOURCES
ñThat’s issue number one... see you at end of June for number two!
top jobs
Nicola Brewer Br ew ewer
32 Office Politics
How to business lunch
properly
New film releases TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN Starring Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox When you’re hot, you’re hot and this young, awesome duo return to the silver screen to defend and battle the world’s most biggest robots within the galactic sphere. Dazzling special-effects and green screen take off from where the first Transformers movie left us, and Shia and Megan are in top, and often slick, form. Megan is clealy ranked as one of the more attractive actress in recent years, gracing all the men’s magazines, while Shia has an impressive CV that includes Disturbia, Indiana Jones, and particularly, our CBBC favourite Even Stevens. Octomus Prime battles the evil Decptions and this visual splendor denotes the progression of computer-generated film. tOut 24 June.
MY SISTER’S KEEPER
THE PROPOSAL
Starring Cameron Diaz and Abigail Breslin The Hollywood wild one, Diaz, triumphs in another rom-com that will have any fan eating from her most-paid-women-infilm hands. Following the trail of her younger sister, Diaz plays a elder sibling led into some tough decisions as their family is forced into disrepute. Diaz brings a lightness to a darkly shot movie,. Abigail Breslin is the younger sister with a dilemma so trivial and central to the script, it’s surprising tht the audience didn’t leave then and there. It’s well directed, despite its noir presence, and treads at a quite medium feeling pace that makes Abigail’s dilemma slightly bearable as the conclusion finally unravels and may shock some. Fans of Diaz, will love it. Out 26 June
Starring Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds It’s been a while since Bullock has solely held a quality picture together and she does it well here, to the point where it’s a different Bulllock we know from her usually average output.While Speed was an instant classic, a long list of so-so comedies have followed and it’s put her in unfamilar terrority. In Crash, Bullock played the lonely rich housewife, and it appears as if she’s taken notes, because The Proposal offers a distinct characteristic of vulnerability in this role and it works. It’s not Demi Moore meets Robert Redford, as Reynolds is a cool-looking young buck with devious intentions, but Bullock’s skill at showing a lady on the edge is quietly gripping and entertaining. If she does more films like this, she’ll be top-fold again soon. Mid-June