Say you want to HEAL? OKAY NOW WHAT

The notion of healing is a topic that is appearing more and more in individual conversations, on social media platforms, TV shows, movies, and panels. Essentially, the conversations are being had and I love to see it!

Moreover, see the thing is, yes, the need to be healed is being discussed, but the hard part is how does one heal, where does one heal, what is needed for healing, who does one go to for healing?

Many of you may or may not know, I am a mental health therapist, and many of my op-eds are centered around the importance of mental health and its impact on various people, places, and things. For this op-ed, instead on focusing on how our mental health is impacted, I wanted to opt to address the big question:

“HOW DOES ONE FIND THE RIGHT THERAPIST FOR THEIR HEALING?”

Listen, finding a therapist is like starting a new relationship. One would more than likely want to be with someone who is open-minded, non-judgmental, understands their needs, supportive, gets their humor, celebrates their wins, but most importantly a therapist that one is able to be vulnerable with. For this reason, I have devised a list of questions to guide this audience to think about what type of therapist would be most beneficial to your current mental state, needs, and strengths.

STEP 1: WHAT IS YOUR REASONING FOR GOING TO THERAPY?

You may not fully know the answer to this question AND truthfully what will more than likely happen is, as you go through therapy, you will discover pieces of yourself that you will need to heal and unpack. Nevertheless, to start, I suggest identifying at least one reasoning for therapy. Once you know your need for therapy, you can start to explore therapists that specialize or can address your needs. For example, if you were sexually abused, there are therapists that specialize in sexual abuse. If you experienced a loss, there are therapists that specialize in grief, etc.

STEP 2: WILL YOU BE USING INSURANCE OR SELF-CARE?

Unfortunately, we live in a time where mental health does not have the best insurance coverage. It will be a great idea to get an explanation of benefits from your insurance providers to see what is covered and if there is a deductible OR/and co-pay. Moreover, if you do not have insurance or wish to opt for self-pay, you should make yourself a realistic therapy budget. Therapists typically see new clients once a week. When exploring therapists, you can ask if a sliding scale is offered. A sliding scale is a discounted rate that therapists sometimes offer to self-pay clients that cannot meet their regular rate.

STEP 3: WHAT IS YOUR PREFERENCE IN GENDER AND RACE?

Essentially, ask yourself, who will I feel most comfortable speaking to? When thinking about this question, be unapologetic with your needs. Again, therapy is a vulnerable process and time when you may not be in control of your emotions or what comes out, so it’s best to be in control of picking who you are going to have these hard conversations with.

*Though I did not add religion and culture into this question, these are two items you may want to explore, depending on the role religion and culture plays in your life.

When you have decided the answers to the above three questions, start your therapist search. You can use resources like Psychology Today and Therapy for Black Girls to navigate therapists search engines. Because you will be aware of your insurance, gender preference, and needs, you can use those preferences to filter your searches.

Once you find therapists that you are interested in, contact each therapist, and request a consultation. Use the consultation to see if the therapist is a fit for you.

Questions and Statements that are helpful to ask during a consultation are:

1. Does the therapist have an opening for you?

2. Is the therapist virtual or in person?

3. Know your availability and see if the therapist can accommodate you.

4. What is the therapist’s communication style? Does it match your communication style?

5. In the event you are having a non-lifethreatening emergency/crisis, does the therapist make themselves available?

6. How does the therapist communicate with clients?

7. What are the scheduling, canceling, rescheduling procedures?

While these are some of my general questions and approaches to finding a therapist, please please please, do not hesitate to add additional questions for your needs. I hope this was helpful and I hope 2023 comes with more healing and more grace.

Words by: DOMINIQUE M. CARSON