Why Aren’t Other People Just Like Me? by Blue Beetle Books

Participant Manual

Why Aren’t

Other People

Just Like Me? An Introduction Mike Wicks

w o r k s h o p s your passion

•

our program

w o r k s h o p s your passion

•

our program

w o r k s h o p s your passion

•

our program

w o r k s h o p s your passion

our program

w o r k s h o p s your passion

•

our program

w o r k s h o p s your passion

•

our program

Why Arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Other People Just Like Me? An Encore Workshop developed by Mike Wicks

If you find this manual, please return it to the person below. Thank -you. Manual Owner: Department: Telephone: Email:

________________________ ________________________ ________________________ ________________________

To order an Encore Workshop please visit our website www.encoreworkshops.com Encore Workshops is an imprint of Small Business Success (a division of Blue Beetle Books Inc.) Blue Beetle Books Inc. www.bluebeetlebooks.com www.smallbusinesssuccess.ca Tel: 778.265.3070 Email: janie@bluebeetlebooks.com

© 2012 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, or stored in a retrieval system without the prior written consent of Encore Workshops.

Encore Workshops If you would like to find out more about Encore Workshops please visit our website www.encoreworkshops.com.

Table of Contents 7

Introduction

Module 1 - Identifying Behavioural Traits

Module 2 - Examining Personal Styles

Module 3 - Spotting Other Peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Styles

Module 4 - A Closer Look at the Styles

Module 5 - Identifying Traits

Module 6 - The Jobs People Do

Module 7 - Communicating Effectively

Module 8 - Becoming a Style Chameleon

Module 9 - The Final Test

INTRODUCTION

This workbook will provide you with an outline of the information delivered by your instructor. There are several sections that allow you to note down information about yourself that may be useful during the presentation (e.g. your expectations and what challenges you face) we urge you to make use of these as they will enhance your learning experience. We have provided space to make notes throughout this manual, so please feel free to write down any thoughts or comments you have as the workshop progresses.

W hy Aren’t Other People Just Like Me? - Participant Manual

INTRODUCTION

Workshop Overview Why is it that we get on well with some people the minute we meet them, yet others remain a mystery to us? What is it with them? Why do they act so strangely? This course will help you understand all those people that in the past have made you shake your head in despair. Unlike similar programs or ‘systems’ this program concentrates on the behaviour people are exhibiting at the time you are dealing with them. Sure, we all have a predominant style, but our behaviour changes depending on the circumstances we are in. The most overbearing, crusty corporate head, who rules his empire with a rod of iron can be seen at home playing on his hands and knees with his grandson, pretending he is a horse! So, this program doesn’t put you in a box and keep you there. It shows that while we have a primary style and a back -up style, we tend to move in and out of styles depending on where we are, what we are doing and the type of day we are having. Knowing our primary style in our business life, and knowing the three other styles, and how they relate to our style, will help us interact with our colleagues. And, if we are in a sales or customer service role, assist us to make more sales and keep customers happier. The style names we use in this program are Analytical, Driver, Expressive and Amiable. Of all the names used in other programs, and there are many, we find these the most descriptive and easiest to understand. They are also the original ones used by David Merrill and Roger Reid in the book that started it all; Personal Styles and Effective Performance. Make no mistake this is powerful stuff and by the end of the program you will never see the world in quite the same way again. As one participant said “ I find myself trying to determine what style everyone is, and it’s all your fault! What fun!”. A couple of things to consider when using this method of identifying behavioural styles. First, remember that people are very rarely all one style, they are parts of all styles, they move in and out of styles, so when looking at the traits of a particular style don’t think that they all have to fit you or the person you are dealing with.

© 2012 All ri gh ts reserved. N o p art of thi s publi cati on may b e rep rodu ced , tran smitted in an y form or by any means el ectroni c , mech ani cal , ph otocop ying , recordi ng or oth erwi se, or stored in a retri eval system wi th ou t th e pri or wri tten consent of Encore W orksh op s.

W hy Aren’t Other People Just Like Me? - Participant Manual

INTRODUCTION

Second, deal with behaviour only; there is no need to be a psychoanalyst, just relate to the style you see. And above all, have fun!

What Are You Going To Learn? This program will help you:

 identify your own primary and secondary behavioural styles  see what other people see when they meet you  recognize the 4 primary and 16 back-up styles  learn dozens of giveaway style clues  learn to shift styles to relate to people more effectively  turn difficult people into fans  learn the magic bullets that make people of different styles like you  discover how to excite each style  learn how to be comfortable in any situation  understand your boss and co-workers  learn how to manage your team more effectively.

How Will You Benefit? You will find yourself:

 understanding co-workers, superiors, friends and family a whole lot better—suddenly their behaviour will make sense!

 realizing the right thing to say, at the right time, to the right person

 understanding what information is required by each behavioural style and how they need it delivered

 building better, longer relationships  diffusing difficult situations  feeling more confident  making better presentations  relaxing in all business situations. © 2012 All ri gh ts reserved. N o p art of thi s publi cati on may b e rep rodu ced , tran smitted in an y form or by any means el ectroni c , mech ani cal , ph otocop ying , recordi ng or oth erwi se, or stored in a retri eval system wi th ou t th e pri or wri tten consent of Encore W orksh op s.

W hy Aren’t Other People Just Like Me? - Participant Manual

INTRODUCTION

What Are Your Expectations? Take a few moments and list the expectations you have for this workshop. Your facilitator will offer you an opportunity to discuss these at the beginning of the session.



Your Challenges Consider the challenges you face surrounding the subject of this workshop and jot down a few of them in the boxes below. This may help you identify questions you might like to ask your instructor as the workshop progresses.



W hy Arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Other People Just Like Me? - Participant Manual

Notes _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ ÂŠ 2012 All ri gh ts reserved. N o p art of thi s publi cati on may b e rep rodu ced , tran smitted in an y form or by any means el ectroni c , mech ani cal , ph otocop ying , recordi ng or oth erwi se, or stored in a retri eval system wi th ou t th e pri or wri tten consent of Encore W orksh op s.

Module One

Identifying Behavioural Traits In unit one, you will learn how to identify the two main behavioural traits people exhibit. These are:

 Control of others (The degree of effort one makes to influence the thoughts and actions of others)

 Control of self (The degree of effort one makes to be unemotional and self-controlled in relationships with others) The key thing to remember at this point is that later you will be working with diagrams and charts that show ‘control of others’ as being on a horizontal axis and ‘control of self’ as being on a vertical axis. The PowerPoint slide opposite demonstrates this.

Control of Others Think about whether you exhibit a high or low control over others. For instance, do you often try to convince people to do what you want them to do? Do you tell people what you think rather than ask them what they think?

Two Dimensions • Control of Others - The degree of effort one makes to influence the thoughts and actions of others

•Control of Self - The Degree of effort one makes to be unemotional and selfcontrolled in relationships with others

W hy Aren’t Other People Just Like Me? - Participant Manual

Module One

On a scale of 1– 10 how controlling do you think you are? The more you tell people what they should do; the more you try to convince them that your way is the right way; the higher the number you should circle. The more you take other people’s opinions into consideration, try to reach consensus, or let other people make the decisions, then the lower number you should circle. 1

Control of Self Are you the chatty type? You know, the person who can strike up a conversation with anyone in the street. Do you sometimes tell people things that it might have been best to keep to yourself? Or, are you the sort of person who likes to keep to themselves? Do you prefer to tell people just what they need to know about you? On a scale of 1– 10 how much control do you think you have over your actions? The more you tell people about yourself, or about what you are doing; the more open you are with people, the lower the number you should circle. The more private and guarded you are the higher the number you should circle. 1

© 2012 All ri gh ts reserved. N o p art of thi s publi cati on may b e rep rodu ced , tran smitted in an y form or by any means el ectroni c , mech ani cal , ph otocop ying , recordi ng or oth erwi se, or stored in a retri eval system wi th ou t th e pri or wri tten consent of Encore W orksh op s.

W hy Aren’t Other People Just Like Me? - Participant Manual

Module One

Style Guide: Control of Others 1

Low Control of Others (1(1-2) People with a low control of others are usually quieter and do not try to push their ideas or opinions on people. They are easy going, friendly, but often don’ don’t speak unless they have a specific reason to do so. These people are very supportive of other people’ people’s ideas and opinions. They care about their staff, friend and families.

High Control of Others (3(3-4) People with a high control of others appear very confident and can sometimes come across as too assertive. They have strong opinions and will challenge the beliefs of others and try to convince them to believe what they believe. They can be brutally honest and often communicate in situations where it is not desirable to do so. They are highly ambitious and in social situations they will initiate contact. They want to be in the know

Words and phrases that tend to describe someone with a low control of self.

Words and phrases that tend to describe someone with a high control of self.

□ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

Quiet Moderate opinions Thoughtful decisions Go along attitude Likeable first impression Supportive Avoid use of power Lets others take social initiative Asks questions

□ □ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

Talkative Strong opinions Quick decisions Take charge attitude Overwhelming first impression Directive Tend to use their power Take social initiative Make statements

© 2012 All ri gh ts reserved. N o p art of thi s publi cati on may b e rep rodu ced , tran smitted in an y form or by any means el ectroni c , mech ani cal , ph otocop ying , recordi ng or oth erwi se, or stored in a retri eval system wi th ou t th e pri or wri tten consent of Encore W orksh op s.

W hy Arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Other People Just Like Me? - Participant Manual

Module One

ÂŠ 2012 All ri gh ts reserved. N o p art of thi s publi cati on may b e rep rodu ced , tran smitted in an y form or by any means el ectroni c , mech ani cal , ph otocop ying , recordi ng or oth erwi se, or stored in a retri eval system wi th ou t th e pri or wri tten consent of Encore W orksh op s.

W hy Arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Other People Just Like Me? - Participant Manual

A. Control of Self The degree of effort one makes to be unemotional and self-controlled in relationships with others

AM L O W

Driver

Amiable

H I G H

B. Control of Others The degree of effort one makes to influence the thoughts and actions of others

Expressive

Low Assertive

High

LOW

Resp onsive

Analytical

High Assertive

Responsive

Low

Tells

Emotional

Asks

HIGH

Unem otion al

Your Plotting Guide

W hy Arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Other People Just Like Me? - Participant Manual

Module One

The 4 Primary and 16 back-up styles Analytical/Analytical Analytical/Driver Analytical/Expressive Analytical/Amiable

Driver/Driver Driver/Expressive Driver/Amiable Driver/Analytical

Expressive/Expressive Expressive/Amiable Expressive/Analytical Expressive/Driver

Amiable/Amiable Amiable/Analytical Amiable/Driver Amiable/Expressive

W hy Arenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Other People Just Like Me? - Participant Manual

Module One Notes _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________ ÂŠ 2012 All ri gh ts reserved. N o p art of thi s publi cati on may b e rep rodu ced , tran smitted in an y form or by any means el ectroni c , mech ani cal , ph otocop ying , recordi ng or oth erwi se, or stored in a retri eval system wi th ou t th e pri or wri tten consent of Encore W orksh op s.

Module Two

Examining Personal Behavioural Styles When you plotted your style in the last module you were making some judgement calls as to how much, or how little, control of self, and others you feel that you exhibit in your working environment. This gave you an indication of your primary and secondary behavioural style, but as we mentioned earlier we do use attributes of all styles in our daily lives. This next exercise is in the form of a quiz and will dig a little deeper into your behaviour patterns, and not only identify your primary and secondary styles, but also the level of the other two styles you exhibit. In some cases the results will confirm the styles you came up with on your plotting guide, in others there will be some disconnect. In these cases review the results on your ‘control of self’ and ‘control of others’ charts. One thing to note is that you are only looking at your behaviour in your work life for both methods. If the two methods come up with contradictory results and you cannot understand why, ask your facilitator to review your initial plotting guide.

Unit 2—Behavioural Styles Quiz Please check the box on the left of the statement that most closely represents your behaviour in your work or business environment. Your facilitator will let you know how to complete the legend in the boxes on the right of the table. 1. In my office I have  a. Photos of my family and items that inspire me

When your facilitator provides you with the key, circle the style opposite your answer ● AN = Analytical ● DR = Driver ● EX = Expressive ● AM = Amiable



b. Attitude posters and awards



c. Information charts and graphs



d. A clock, calendar and flow charts

2. When talking on the phone    

a. I focus on the reason for the call and try to keep the other person focused on business b. I chat for a while about personal things before getting down to business c. I let the other person talk for a while about what they want before getting down to business d. I keep the conversation short and to the point

3. When talking to someone face-to-face 

a. I keep eye-contact at all times



b. I sometimes look down



c. My gaze often wonders around the room



d. I occasionally look away but try to keep eye-contact

4. At meetings    

a. I don’t offer my opinion until I have all the relevant information and have had time to consider it b. I tell everyone exactly what I think and make sure my view of the situation is noted c. I offer my opinion and try to convince people of its validity while also listening to their point of view d. I support everybody’s opinions & look for common ground

5. When clients or colleagues are late    

a. I carry on working so as not to waste time b. I get impatient and watch my clock but don’t let it affect the meeting c. I call them to make sure they are okay, or misunderstood the time or location d. I get annoyed that they are wasting my time

6. My presentation style is 

a. Entertaining, enthusiastic and fun



b. To deliver all the facts in a concise and accurate manner



c. Quieter, calmer and encourages interaction



d. Direct and to the point, providing specific information

7. In a training program or presentation



a. I get bored when the presenter doesn’t get to the point quickly or talks down to me b. I am attentive and look for opportunities to support the speaker c. I get bored if the presenter isn’t entertaining and fast moving



d. I want to see the relevance and logic behind what the speaker is saying

 

8. When I have to make an important decision 

a. I think through my options first



b. I base my decision on my gut feeling



c. I consider how it will impact other people first



d. I get other people’s opinions before making a decision

9.When I set goals they are 

a. Realistically attainable



b. Challenging but achievable



c. Based on the need to reach the longer term goal



d. Easily achieved and based on teamwork

10. If I’m late    

a. I’ll stop and call to let the person know I’m going to be late b. I worry about what the other person will think and worry that they will be upset c. It is very rare but if I am late I get upset and feel that I have let myself down d. I’ll phone if I can, and then smooth it over with the client when I get there

11. When a buyer or client is explaining their problem 

a. I try to feel what they feel



b. I try to get all the facts



c. I look for the main issue



d. I make sure they see that I understand them

W hy Aren’t Other People Just Like Me? - Participant Manual

12. If a client or colleague is upset 

a. I see what I can do to comfort them



b. I give them space so that they can deal with it in private



c. I see what I can do to make them smile



d. If it’s not my problem I don’t get involved

13. If I am in disagreement with a client or colleague 

a. I think and act positively



b. I try to find out the root cause of the issue and keep calm



c. I avoid them and the issue



d. I deal with it head-on and get it resolved as quickly as possible

14. When someone shouts at me 

a. I just tell them to stop being irrational



b. I don’t say anything but am hurt c. I separate the emotional outburst from the facts and deal with them d. I shout back and let them know I won’t stand for them shouting at me



a. I provide comprehensive information b. I tend to ‘sell’ them on the idea of helping me



c. I try to let them see how I feel about the situation



d. I tell them how I want them to do the job

 

15. When I want to get my point across to a buyer, client or colleague 

a. I listen first and then put forward my views



b. I strongly state my case so there is no confusion as to how I see things c. I use my sales skills to get them to see my point of view



d. I show them the reasoning behind my conclusions



16. When I need help from someone 

17. When under pressure on a project    

a. I create a project timeline, a to-do list and prioritize everything b. I concentrate all my energies on the project to get it done on time c. I become fearful that I won’t get it done and this makes it harder for me to work d. I set myself a target date and a daily to-do list target

© 2012 All ri gh ts reserved. N o p art of thi s publi cati on may b e rep rodu ced , tran smitted in an y form or by any means el ectroni c , mech ani cal , ph otocop ying , recordi ng or oth erwi se, or stored in a retri eval system wi th ou t th e pri or wri tten consent of Encore W orksh op s.

Encore Workshops - an imprint of Small Business Success (a wholly owned subsidiary of Blue Beetle Books Inc.)

If you would like to review the full manual, or discuss your current training needs please call our customer service manager Janie Dunning at 778.265.3070 or email janie@bluebeetlebooks.com.

o r k s htheoEncore p slibrary of workshops please visit To review

•

our program

www.smallbusinesssuccess.ca/index.php/training/library

original For further details on purchasing an individual workshop for self-delivery please visit

www.smallbusinesssuccess.ca/index.php/training

For more information on becoming a licenced Encore Workshops facilitator and distributor visit www.smallbusinesssuccess.ca/index.php/training/licensing_distributorship To purchase a workshop, or workshops please visit www.smallbusinesssuccess.ca/index.php/training/order

o r

•

our

Small Business Success will also develop workshops to meet your specific needs. For s more k hinformation o p splease visit w o r k s h o p s www.smallbusinesssuccess.caindex.php/training/custom_training_workshops program your passion • our program

w o r k your passion

our pro

•

Contact Janie Dunning (Customer Service and Sales Manager) Tel: 778.265.3070 Email: janie@bluebeetlebooks.com. Mike Wicks (Publisher)

o r k Tel: s 250.704.6686 h o p s

•

our program

w o r k s h o p s your passion

Email: mike@bluebeetlebooks.com

o r k s h o p s •

our program

your passion

our program

w o r k s h o p s your passion

•

our pro

•

w o r k

our program

w o r k your passion

•

our pro