11 minute read
Looking after children and young people’s mental health after COVID-19
I had a heart-breaking meeting with a parent of a child yesterday. She told me a story that was five years in the making and involved almost every type of intervention you would have heard of: doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, social care, you name it, they had either spoken to them or tried it. When I had a chance to reflect on it, my rather simplistic thought was: ‘How did it come to this?’.
When I was young in the 1990s, the umbrella term ‘mental health’ was simply not on our radars; now it seems to be around every corner we turn. The same thought may ring true for others in the generation that is now either parenting or educating today’s children and young people. This can leave us feeling helpless and, at worst, unable to give effective help to those who are struggling.
There has been a well-documented ‘crisis’1 in the mental health of teenagers (and adults) in recent years, particularly because of the COVID-19 pandemic. This article aims to give some practical suggestions to parents of boarding school pupils about mental health issues.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
Issues such as anxiety, depression, eating disorders, self-harm and suicidal ideation have steadily increased and, although the Government has increased funding, the support available through NHS channels has not kept pace with demand. The Government paper Promoting children and young people’s mental health and wellbeing: a whole school or college approach2 cites research that in 2020 1 in 6 children aged 5 to 16 had a probable mental health disorder – up from 1 in 9 in 2017. The number of referrals to children and young people’s mental health services between April and June 2021 increased by 134% since the same period in 2020, from just over 80,000 to 190,000, and up almost 100% from the same three-month period in 2019 (approximately 90,000). Public Health England have concluded that COVID-19 has had a negative impact on young people’s mental health, particularly in females and those with pre-existing mental health concerns. Additionally, there continues to be a significant problem surrounding the stigma attached to mental illness which means that people are less willing to seek help and support, often exacerbating the problem.
AND WHAT DO WE DO ABOUT IT?
Schools are certainly responding to this, and parents may well be noticing an uptick of recent initiatives from school settings. Investment from the leadership of schools is certainly welcome, and it is likely that
David Walker
increasing capacity and attention will help improve matters. For example, at Wellington we have created a new role called ‘Head of Student Emotional Health and Wellbeing’ and we have appointed a clinical psychologist to the position. She helps me as Deputy Pastoral to ensure that all students in need have an appropriate support plan in place.
How about parents? What should they do to best support children and young people? To finish, here are my top five tips for helping children and young people who are struggling to maintain good mental health.
• Communicate throughout: Although stigma is reducing, it is still a powerful force preventing people talking about mental health. Please don’t think you will be the first parents to go to the school to tell them about an issue – you may be surprised how much experience they have. Talk to the school and share your concerns. Seek advice and guidance.
Not only will you get the benefit of their expertise and help, but it will support you by feeling that you are part of a team.
Once you come out the other side, tell the school what worked and what helped – they are still learning and will appreciate your feedback.
• Don’t over-react: If your child comes to you to say things are not right (or if your child’s school has told you about it) then they need to know that you will be able to cope with this and help them get through it. If you react with shock, anger or disbelief, the message they will hear is that you are out of your depth.
In those first hours and days you are not expected to have all the answers but remember the power that language has to communicate that you remain the person in their life who loves them unreservedly.
• And don’t under-react: The temptation is to explain it away – ‘it’s just a phase’,
‘it’s not that bad’, ‘they are just jumping on a bandwagon’. Listen, take what they say at face value and seek professional support to make a judgement as to the severity of the situation.
• Show empathy: It may be very difficult to understand why your beautiful child has decided to self-harm. Your first thought may be one of utter disbelief and amazement – why would anyone do such a thing? But have you ever used unhealthy coping strategies? Have you ever had a hard day and then pushed yourself super-hard in the gym or had a third glass of wine in the evening? Try to understand that whatever the symptoms you are seeing, the causes will be found in the most fundamental aspects of human nature that we all experience. • ‘Friends as balloons’: It may not be your child who is struggling but they may tell you they are worried about a friend. They want to support and listen to their friend, but it is clearly getting them down or making them anxious. How can you best advise them? We need to state two things clearly here – they are not mental health professionals and, secondly, if things are that bad, they should be helping their friend get the appropriate help. Their role is to do all they can to bring light and joy into the friendship. Use the analogy of a balloon: if you keep just blowing air into a balloon without ever playing with it, it will burst. Tie it off and use the balloon to have fun. As the old saying goes: ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’.
David Walker is Deputy Head (Pastoral and Wellbeing) at Wellington College in Berkshire. He has worked in both boarding and day schools and gained experience as a Head of Department and a Housemaster before moving into senior leadership eight years ago. Before his current role at Wellington, David was Head of Senior School at the Stephen Perse Foundation in Cambridge. David keeps himself happy and well with a weekly game of football, time spent on a mountain bike, enjoying walks with his family and dog, and the occasional glass of wine.
The Duke of Edinburgh’s Award
– making a difference to young people’s lives
Since the Duke of Edinburgh’s Award (DofE) was founded in 1956, it has helped generations of young people develop the skills, resilience and self-belief they need to overcome whatever life throws at them – Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh himself described it as a ‘do-it-yourself growing up kit’.
Ruth Marvel
CEO, The Duke of Edinburgh’s Award
More than six decades later, our mission remains the same: to offer young people the opportunity to follow their passions, discover new talents and gain transferable skills to help them for years to come, and to make a positive contribution to their community. To date, more than 6.7 million young people in the UK have done their DofE, and we’re positive our impact will only continue to grow.
Throughout the decades, the DofE has evolved and expanded to reflect young people’s changing lives. In 1958, two years after our creation, the Award – originally only open to young men – was extended to girls. In 1988, The Duke of Edinburgh’s International Award was established to bring the DofE to more young people globally. The International Award is now offered in 130 countries. When I became CEO two years ago, I was excited to join a charity that makes such a huge difference to young people’s lives. What I didn’t expect was to find myself steering us through an unprecedented pandemic.
The COVID-19 pandemic has hit young people hard. We know it has affected their mental health, education and job opportunities. Research from The Prince’s Trust has shown that 25 per cent of 16–25 year olds feel ‘unable to cope with life’, increasing to almost 40% among those not in education, employment or training.
But these headlines are only part of the story. Time and again through the DofE’s history, young people have shown that, when we give them the right tools, there are no limits to what they can overcome. And the pandemic is no exception.
In 2020, a quarter of young people who completed their award faced marginalisation or barriers to participating including financial hardship or social exclusion, or required specialist support to do their DofE, such as young offenders or young people with additional needs. It is times like these when the unique benefits of non-formal education opportunities like the DofE come to the fore. It is vital that education providers ensure students have access to the cocurricular learning and activities that can be a critical part of their recovery, both educationally and socially.
The DofE gives young people skills and experiences they cannot get in a classroom – an opportunity to excel and achieve regardless of their interests, background or abilities. They can choose their own challenges, follow their passions and discover new skills. It provides a chance to escape, have fun and make friends for life.
There is clear evidence that cocurricular learning boosts academic achievement, improves wellbeing and contributes to young people succeeding in employment. We know from asking our participants that the DofE gives young people transferable skills such as teamwork, communication and time management and develops their confidence and resilience. The DofE remains a highly respected and widely recognised mark of achievement that can help a young person stand out to employers. We know employers see socalled ‘soft skills’ as equal to, or more important than, academic achievements. In the UK, more than 100 top employers, including British Gas, Google, ITV and Burberry, endorsed the skills and attributes young people develop from their DofE. Sixty-five years after our foundation, the DofE is run all over the UK, in schools, youth clubs. prisons, hospitals, sports clubs and fostering agencies. Our vision is a UK where every young person feels ready to step up to the challenges life throws at them. That’s why we’re aiming to reach one million more young people in the UK over the next five years – a fitting legacy for our patron, the Duke of Edinburgh, whose vision helped change millions of lives.
And we’re working to tailor and expand DofE programmes, to make sure we appeal to and are accessible to even more young people and we continue to evolve to reflect their changing interests and lives. This year we added esports to the Skills section – an activity that’s shown to develop crucial life skills like strategic thinking, leadership and communication.
Those first Award holders in 1956 could not have dreamt of doing esports for their DofE – or updating their progress on the go with the DofE smartphone app, as today’s participants do. But they would still recognise the heart of the DofE – a ‘do-it-yourself growing-up kit’ that can help young people get the most out of their lives, whoever they are and whatever they choose to do.
For more information about The Duke of Edinburgh’s Award go to DofE.org/run, email info@DofE.org or call 01752 727400.
Since joining The Duke of Edinburgh’s Award in 2019, Ruth Marvel has developed a strategy which aims to reach out to more young people and ensured they have had the support of the DofE during lockdown. The launch of DofE With a Difference has meant hundreds of thousands of young people could continue their DofE in the face of a pandemic. The introduction of the Resilience Fund also supported thousands of young people to start their DofE despite economic hardship. Before becoming the CEO at the DofE, Ruth was Acting CEO at Girlguiding and before that she was Director of Strategy and Innovation at the disability charity Scope. Ruth spent most of her early career in advocacy, research and public policy roles and she has successfully campaigned for comprehensive disability and human rights and greater investment in social care for disabled people. She has developed one of the sector’s first theories of change, set up an innovation unit, and helped design new ways to measure the social impact of charities. Ruth is passionate about social justice and she has a particular interest in advancing opportunities for young people, social innovation and the power of design thinking to solve social problems. Ruth is a Trustee of GoodGym, and a Fellow of the Clore Social Leadership Programme. She lives in London with her partner Mary and their three children.
