THE SHIZNIT
1 #
Jeez! who is that broad? i tried every line and she didn’t even flinch
yep! you ain’t alone though, nobody’s got her yet
sigh! NOne of these ‘men’ do it for me... say...there’s a guy who hasn’t tried his luck... that’s so sexy...
it’s a crying shame. gimme a brandy marvin well hello there sailor what’s your name?
my name is
norris
I am an advanced lifeform. capable of reaching instant orgasm at a single touch
oh my god! do it again norris!
no
pleeze no
i’m begging ya!
very well
allow me to show you...
...just give me half an hour and I’ll be ready to rock
How the Smoking ban really effects you This was done just as the smoking ban kicked in and it was a hit. Again, a lot of the content was made to appeal to a wide, non comic reading audience.
How the Smoking ban really effects you Part two
I found Bifsniff by accident while dossing online and got talking to Frank, the artist. And dramatic as it sounds he changed my life, he built clamnuts.com, hooked me up with a graphics tablet and started me blogging. Without him I’d still be struggling in so many ways.
K IN MY DAY LOOK AT LEGO, BACGO MEANT YOU LE OF X GETTING A BO ER EV YOU WANT COULD BUILD WHAT R SCENARIOS TE AND CREATE WHA VE SLOWLY YOU WANT BUT IT HAUNS BU ILDING A F CHANGED FROM ELSE.... ....... ING ETH M TOY TO SO
THE LEGO MEN USED TO BE SIMPLE AND WITH NO DISTINGUISHING FEATURES. IDEAL FOR KIDS TO PROJECT CHARACTERS AND PERSONALITIES ON THEM, BUT NOW THEY ARE FLASH, MULTI JOINTED AND LOOK LIKE THIS......
THE CHARACTERS ARE NOW DEFINED . KIDS ARE TOLD WHO THEIR LEGO MEN ARE. IT HAS MUTATED INTO A LICENSED ACTION FIGURE TOY LINE WHERE FREEDOM OF CHOICE IS DWINDLING. THERE’S STAR WARS AND HARRY POTTER LEGO NOW FOR CRYIN’ OUT LOUD! THE OLD STYLE SETS WITH HUNDREDS OF INDIVIDUAL BLOCKS HAVE BEEN REPLACED WITH PRE FAB PLAYSETS WHICH COME WITH VERY FEW MOVING PARTS. IT IS NO LONGER AN INDEPENDENT CREATIVE MEDIUM!
BACK IN ‘85...
OH NO!
I’M NEARLY FINISHED ME CASTLE AND I’VE RUN OUT OF ONE EY’S
SEE THIS KID KNOWS THE SCORE! HE DECIDES WHAT TO BUILD AND HE DECIDES WHO HIS LEGO MEN ARE!
OF A SICK IT S A LL P ART TO DRAIN CY IRA SP ON C ITTLE L A OF T LAS T HE CALL TO ED US THING WE DON’T FR OM KIDS. “ YOU G SIN ES E M B A NN WA TLE IT L E HOS T WITH ALL G TO BLOCKS AND HAVIN AL L BY T HIN K OF AN IDEA HER E U? YO DO LF SE UR YO DE MA E PR HIS E T TAK EGO S L ING E R TH LO RD OF INST EAD”
AND THEIR WILL IS EATEN AWAY AND THEIR SOULS SUCKED OUT TILL ALL THAT REMAINS IS A SAD,SERVILE CONSUMER BOT
IN TEN YEARS TIME, LEGO WILL HAVE MUTATED SO MUCH THAT KIDS WILL BE PLAYING WITH THEIR ‘LEGO’ OBLIVIOUS TO WHAT A ONE -EY OR A TWO - EY IS....... SAYYYY.... WHAT ARE THESE WEIRD LTTLE NOBBLES ON THE TOP OF MY CAR?
YEAH.... THERE’S A FEW ON THIS TOO!
AH JAYSIS! IS NOTHIN’ SACRED?! THEY’RE MAKING LEGO SHUT UP! OUT OF PLASTIC?BACK IN MY DAY THEY USED YOU CAN’T STOP PROGRESS GRANDAD! WOOD. BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH!
OH WAIT, THAT SORT OF RUINS MY ARGUMENT.... AW SHIT! I’M OUT OF ONE EYS!
This was out of date even by the time it was printed. Seamus Brennan was a tiny little politician in Ireland who died a couple of years ago. I liked him.
I used to draw this comic for a local gay mag. It was fun, they let me do some iffy gags
Putting my old home address in this ad was a bad idea. A group of giddy teens called up one night. My then girlfriend was not impressed.
Back inside cover. It was crazy, Brian Mc Fadden (who?) had launched an awful re-branding campaign of himself when issue 1 came out but by the time issue 2 was ready he had disappeared. So my tribute to him never happened. Same with the ‘Talk to Joe’. Never finished it.