boiMAG.com "Cancel Culture"

Mental Health and Cancel Culture

by: Dr. Charla Waxman BS, MBA, EdD Director of Business Development Lake Behavioral Hospital

Social Ostracization. We used to just call it bullying. Now we have a new version, that, although it may have its positive points (and we will explore them here later!) is called “cancel culture”. It can be devastatingly damaging to mental health, physical health, social health, financial health…. and the list goes on.

It may have started as a means of holding people in power accountable. It may have begun to create social change and make clear that “we are mad as hell and we’re not going to take anymore” (morphed quote from the movie, “Network”). It may have meant to wake people up and make them think about what is happening around them, but now it may have gone too far.

There are no more second chances, folks, no forgiveness and no making a mistake. You screw up, or get this, someone just doesn’t like you, and it’s “Game on!” You’ll get shut down. Whether it is personal or professional, your business or your reputation, this method of dealing with each other can be painful and mentally draining and damaging. It is trauma- producing.

Cancel culture tones are emotionally charged. It brings some of us to the boiling point, polarizing us to a black and white mentality when we inherently understand that the gray area is the sweet spot. Trying to force change rather than allowing some grace and consideration, is stress producing and whether you are the “canceller” or the “cancellee” the pain and discomfort are real.

Cancel culture is equal opportunity. Race, religion, socioeconomic… all are at risk. Adults and children have all been hurt. Some schools, in fact, have had to develop special rules and procedures around cancel culture infractions. These cancelling behaviors are far reaching and they may now be less about social justice and a whole lot more about just inflicting pain. Inflicting pain because we can, because we feel like it, or because we want to see just how powerful our interests in doing so may be. How many people can we get to be on our side? Cancel culture is a polarizing way of living, for sure, a competition for who can hurt someone the most.

Don’t read this article wrong, social injustices have been greatly impacted by people gathering as one and taking a hard stand for change.

Those who are marginalized by society have found accountability when what is right has failed. That is not what we are talking about here. We are talking about pushing for change or social isolation in a way that can make it almost impossible not to choose sides. Being a “fence sitter” and being called out for seeing the positives in both sides can also cause you to be “on the outs” and perhaps, to be the next victim.

When cancel culture ignores ideals and principles and simply cancels in order to publicly shame, the culture is not a movement for change it is a bully-fueled power play. Depression, real emotional pain, anxiety, and posttraumatic stress can be the horrible and long term end result.

In addition to the pain, is the idea that there are no opportunities for the perceived wrong-doer to make any changes, to learn or to grow. He/she is just shut out or shut down. Nothing gets better and no one has to have any real social interaction or gain from a good conflict and resolution. We’re missing out on what it means to be human and engage with others; having conflict and using our best skills to work them through. What a shame!

So what do you do? Here are some things that may help you navigate this potentially negative social trend.

1. Weigh the pros and cons before you jump on the cancel culture bandwagon. Think for yourself. What are the real intentions for the “cancelling”?

2. If there is an objection about a wrong someone has committed, think about whether you know the whole story or not. Is this a person you know and can speak with personally, rather than in public, about this? If this is not someone you know, should you be involved publicly?

3. Be tolerant and accepting of behavior. Everybody screws up and everybody should have a chance to say, “Sorry.” Show some grace.

4. Don’t be anonymous when you have a grievance. Stand up for yourself. Don’t automatically pull other people into your problem. Trust your own skills. You can probably solve it on your own.

5. Consider the fact that joining in on a “cancellation” may be using one incident to describe someone globally. If one mistake that you have made defines you in total, would that be ok with you? Think critically about what “cancelling” may mean to someone.

Cancel culture has impact, no question about it. Whether it is positive and productive or negative and destructive, is up to each one of us. Think about it; really think about it.

If you or someone you know has been bullied and is hurting and needs some mental health support, consider a level of care, confidential assessment at Lake Behavioral Hospital. Call 855 990 1900. They are here to help. By appointment or walk in, we can help you find the level of care that is right for you.

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