boiMAG.com - Health & Wellness Article "Bounce Back Better"

by: Dr. Charla Waxman - BS, MBA, EdD, Director of Business Development

How is that when something happens, some people just seem, although it clearly bothers them, to keep putting one foot in front of the other, some just fall apart at the seams and others of us somehow stay positive and almost look at the situation as another life adventure? Our feelings in these situations can range from depressed to hopeless, or to stressed, but open to problem solving and up for a challenge. The goal, of course is, that no matter what happens that you find a way to bounce back. This is called resilience……the ability to get right back up and get back to being productive and seeing life in a positive way. It also means accepting that life will have many challenges and not being in a constant state of anxiety over the “thing” that could happen. Simply put, resilience and health go hand in hand.

You were probably not born with the ability to bounce back. There is no special gene that makes us more able to manage “the good, the bad and the ugly”. Genetics can determine that we may be more prone to conditions like depression and anxiety. Trauma, as well, can stop us in our tracks and diminish our resilience potential. Things like poverty, abuse and addiction in the family are additional reducers of resiliency. There is hope! There are tools that enhance resilience; that can help you develop a better sense of self, a belief in your value and an inner sense of power and strength. With these tools in your tool belt, you’ll be a bounceback-person in no time.

Tool Number 1:

LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER! Remember when your mother, your parents, your grandma……..some positive, wise adult……told you, as a kid, to pay attention to what kind of ‘company’ you were keeping? Well, that was great advice. The more positive your relationships, the more support you will have when things go awry. The more positive the relationships, the better advice you are likely to receive. The more positive the relationships, the more potential you will have to bounce back. Positive relationships; positive people in your life, provide hope for the next best thing, remember that something good is just around the corner.

Tool Number 2:

MIND YOUR MINDFULNESS Tuning into the moment is one really good way to stay away from “what if’s?”

Mindfulness helps you avoid reacting and puts you in a present state of “now” where you can examine what is in front of you. It is paying attention to feelings combined with the experience and finding a way to accept and manage when ready. It is a calming state of breathing, sensing, and finding the moment. Mindfulness is meditation in action. People who learn how to be mindful often say that they felt less anxiety and fear and more able to really think and follow through. Mindfulness helps you create a path where they may have been nowhere to walk.

Tool Number 3:

BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND You may have noticed that you are better to others than you are to yourself. You’ll tell your friends that they are smart, and genuine, and kind. You may have been wronged by a friend and offered forgiveness. Do you ever look at yourself in a way transparent enough to reveal your assets? If you make a mistake, do you judge yourself and think about it as an unforgiveable blunder? Being your own best friend and being accepting of yourself, identifying your assets and letting some things go, can move you toward becoming a more resilient person. People who don’t like themselves very much don’t often bounce back when things go wrong because they are simply, stuck. Find your way back to the kind, genuine, and smart person that you are!

Tool Number 4:

LOOK FOR THE GOOD STUFF Yes, there is bad stuff everywhere: bad situations, bad intentions, bad people just doing bad. Phew. It was hard just writing that; because on the other side of that, there is good stuff everywhere: good situations, good intentions, good people just doing good. Sure bad stuff happens, but there is always something good mixed in. Resilient people accept the bad and automatically look for the good stuff. It creates balance and provides hope. The more hope you have built into an issue the more solutions you will find. Living in the negative is a problem solving blocker. Finding any positive in a situation, even a small one, is a flicker of hope that things can change. Find resilience by looking for the good stuff.

Tool Number 5:

CHANGE IS A CONSTANT Resilence means that no matter what happens, you will keep taking the next step. Sometimes your feet will feel heavy, like you are just dragging them along, but keep moving forward. Don’t be resistant; roll with it. It will take some of the stress out of the situation. Rely on friends and family (remember those positive people we talked about earlier?), let them help you. Change is not easy. Resilient people talk it out, write it out (journal) or find help if the going gets too tough.

At Lake Behavioral Hospital, we work to help people find resilience in their lives. If you find that you are just stuck and you can’t seem to feel good about things in your life and problem solving seems impossible, a confidential, free level of care assessment can help determine just what kind of support you need to feel better. Please call us 24/7/365, we are always available and ready to help. A call to 855.990.1900 would be the best way to help you bounce back better!