Becoming A Rare Breed by Book Talk Today

OCTOBER 2020 | ISSUE 2

Book Talk Today

EDITORS LETTER

Becoming A

Rare Breed

We made it to the Second Edition. I say that with a hint of jest as well as a heapful of gratitude to everyone who has helped in the creation of Book Talk Today. To the contributors, authors and our team, I cannot thank you enough for all your hard work. The first edition has been well received and it is now upto us to keep this momentum going. When starting any new project I have found the first couple of months to be the most exciting. The joy of creating something from nothing cannot be replicated by acquiring anything material. The difficulties in its creation are always secondary to the fulfillment in seeing a vision become reality. This vision in the case of Book Talk Today has been in the works since the beginning of this year, but was only realised once factors out of my control prevailed. This is sometimes the case in life. We work and strive to create something, often forcing it into existence without seeing any tangible results. Then there are other occasions when the creation of an idea becomes reality almost overnight and you look back thinking, ‘how did that happen?’

That is when you know the idea is worth pursuing. When I look back on the tumultuous year that the world is experiencing, many people have spent the year looking for ways to improve themselves. Whether physically, mentally or emotionally, the slowing down in the pace of life has allowed each individual to question what is truly important to them. A revaluation of principles is something I believe to be necessary on a regular basis, as the allure of this life can distort what is truly meaningful: proactively seeking ways of evaluating your current position, whilst pursuing an objective, is the goal. Once again, thank you all for taking the time to read October’s issue of Book Talk Today. Happy reading.

Words by AUN ABDI

booktalktoday.com Watch podcasts and sign up to be a contributor. For Readers. By Readers.

CON TRIBU TORS Sunny Bonnell • Nick Velazquez • Ranya Nehmeh • Riddhi Kishnadwala Lucy Barnes • Adam Lowenstein • Pourya Hosseini • Aun Abdi Syed Kazim Kazmi • Vivi Kala • Monica Ashwini

CON TEN TS

Rare Breed: A Guide to Success for the Defiant, Dangerous, and Different

Good Work Takes Time

Interview with Author Sunny Bonnell

Article by Adam Lowenstein

The Best, One of the Best, Our Best

Article by Nick Velazquez

Not Everyone Loves Elon Musk Article by Pourya Hosseini

Should I Stay or Should I go? Article by Ranya Nehmeh

Why Reading Alone Is Not Enough Article by Aun Abdi

Rare Breed - Is it really so rare? Article by Riddhi Kishnadwala

The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari Book Review by Syed Kazim Kazmi

The Shield of “Know Thyself”

Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood Book Review by Vivi Kala

Article by Lucy Barnes

56 The Moment of Lift How Empowering Women Changes the World

Book Review by Monica Ashwini

Rare Breed: A Guide to Success for the Defiant, Dangerous, and Different Interview with Co-Author SUNNY BONNELL

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Conventional thinking tells us that we need to conform. To conform means to abide by a set of rules, standards or laws, that are in place to protect us. But when conformity becomes a barrier to progress, you have to question the purpose of the rules. In come the rule breakers. Joan of Arc, Mozart, Orson Wells, Martin Luther King, Marie Curie, Barack Obama and the list continues. What did all these individuals have in common? Talent? Work ethic? Patience? Those are all necessary but what sets them apart is their ability to succeed not despite who they are but because of who they are. Because they are ‘Rare Breeds’. In their book, ‘Rare Breed - A Guide to Success for the Defiant, Dangerous, and Different’, Sunny Bonnell and Ashleigh Hansberger walk us through the seven virtues defining a Rare Breed. Based on the concept of the seven deadly sins, the Virtues described in the book are aimed to guide us through discovering our inner Rare

Breed. Virtues such as ‘Audacity’, ‘Obsession’ and ‘Hypnotic’ are all used alongside examples of individuals who became successful because of how they used these Virtues. However, like most principles in life, they have a dark side. Take ‘Rebellious’ as an example. Rebels redefine the rules and extend boundaries in their field. However when uncontrolled, rebels can turn this Virtue on its head as their actions catalyse, creating unnecessary chaos. Having the self-awareness to know how to use these Virtues to your advantage while not letting them become your downfall is the key. How do we do this? Well, that’s the million dollar question. But it starts by asking yourself the simple question of what makes you a ‘Rare Breed’ and pursuing it with everything you have. We sat down with Sunny Bonnell co-author of the book to discuss the origins behind ‘Rare Breed’ and also how leaders can learn to leverage their Rare Breed talent to gain a competitive advantage.

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When you were choosing the vices and virtues in the book were you particular about showing their dark side?

Very early on in our career, we were learning that being defiant, dangerous and different are gifts, which was the ‘AHA’ moment for us. We were told these things were bad and that we needed to be ashamed of them. We needed to unpack why they were seen as negatives. More importantly, how was it that these traits would open a door but also simultaneously close a door. If you are audacious, for example, you can use your audacity to do the impossible but it can also be the same thing that closes that door because you are too audacious. You are too opinionated, too outspoken. You are too audacious in everything that you are doing, that people think you are crazy. It was important for us to explain what that really looks like because you can’t have one without the other. What I think Rare Breeds are able to distinguish and are finely keyed into, is not allowing it to become the thing that is their undoing but rather that’s driving them to succeed. What we learnt, studied and seen in our own work and working with hundreds of leaders over the years, is that at some point in time there is an awakening within the individual where they realize that if they embody 8

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one of these seven traits that either it is something that’s working for them or against them. Once they realize that it’s working for them or they know how to make it work, it is truly remarkable what they’re able to do. It is when you’re young and you are figuring life out, that you don’t always know. Especially, if you are a rebel. You might just be creating a ruckus but have no reason. It’s because it’s who you are, but you haven’t learned how to tap into both sides of the trait. That trait either is uplifting or undoing. So, when someone taps into that, they really start to realize the power that vice/virtue has and what it can do in their life. If you’re using it in the right way, it is a force for good not evil. Historically, some of the greatest Rare Breed’s were also some of the most evil, like Hitler. I would argue without a doubt that Hitler was a Rare Breed of the worst kind but yet he was a Rare Breed. It’s undeniable these individuals use these things for good or evil. That’s what we began to uncover and wanted to write a book that not only explored this thesis but that no one had ever really talked

about in the business context. No one had ever made the connection between vices becoming virtues in the business landscape. I have read hundreds of these leadership books, and business books that are preaching the same thing that there’s something about you that needs to change. But what if it didn’t need to change you, what if it was more about learning how to harness it and awaken it. Learning how to turn it into a positive, that’s where we really wanted to focus the effort. Much of the book is exploring the positive and the negative of each of those traits.

Were there any virtues in the book you left off? If so, why and what was the reason for leaving them off?

come up with words, like relentless or perseverance, or emotional, then sensitive and vulnerable would come up, but what’s more than that? Some people would say you are too sensitive. But what does that ladder up to? People would describe you as emotional. What would be the dark side of being emotional? We looked at being audacious, at hubristic, which is negative but audacity can be positive and negative. Hubris isn’t seen as a positive trait. Again, each vice needed a positive and negative. We needed to prove that out. What was interesting, out of hundreds of vices, they all ladder up to the ultimate seven, that ended up in the book.

Yes, when we were writing and developing ‘Rare Breed’ and determining which of the seven vices we were going to put in the book, one thing that struck us was we had one hundred vices that were mapped out. They all layered out to one of the seven vices. The purpose of them being seven relates to the seven deadly sins, which was a play on that. We knew that they each had to have a positive and a negative. They had to be as uplifting as they were undoing. That was important because not every vice is destructive in the way that we were describing in the book. That was important to map out. We would BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

Do you think it’s about acquiring self-awareness, or do you think it’s about your own personal experiences and learning - that balance between the good and evil of a virtue?

A lot of the things are already within us. What I started to see within a lot of people I was speaking to was that they had it within them. Those ideas had not yet been activated or had been given permission to be let off the leash. The first mirror that we ever look into, is the eyes of our parents, guardian, mentors and our teachers. They shape us as we’re young and we grow into these young teens and adults conditioned to live a life that may not be our own. It’s not even a life that we saw for ourselves and yet somewhere along the lines, someone in our life forced us back into a lane because they cared for us. They thought that wasn’t the right

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path to go down, you should be a doctor, you should be a lawyer, you should be this, you should be that. Rarely are we encouraging the person, especially our children. We rarely encourage them to be who they are because we are scared of who they might become. We don’t know any different and so it’s not coming from a place that we don’t love, it’s just coming from a place of ‘I want the best for you I don’t want you to have a hard life’, but in doing that sometimes we force other people to not hear their own voice. We either become silenced or we become awakened at different points in our life. Some of us truly stay silent forever. That almost became us. When we were starting out with our company, Motto (now in its fifteenth year), Ashley and I started it in our early 20’s. We dropped out of college and started this company together with

$250. Everyone around us, including our parents, made us believe that we weren’t cut out for it. I was on track to become a veterinarian; Ashleigh was going to be a writer and a journalist, and these paths were carved out for us. Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a veterinarian. I told everyone and anyone that would listen, that’s the path I was going down. I enrolled in pre-vet school and ended up dropping out to start a branding agency. Everyone around us was saying, ‘what are you guys doing?’, ‘you need a college education’, ‘you need to do this’, ‘what are you doing?’ When you hear that, you start to question every decision that you made and actually start to believe those whispers. Maybe I should listen, I shouldn’t be so bull-headed, maybe I shouldn’t be so defiant. So, we dropped out of school and started this company in a town, where everyone around us was established and had money. We were working out of a tiny 14x14ft room in a shady part of town where you heard gunshots. Everyone around us was saying that you guys just don’t have it, you’re not cut out for it. That could have easily turned into us throwing in the towel. I remember feeling ashamed because we were a year into the business, we weren’t making money, nobody knew who we were. We went to see our

mentor because we were going to give up. He said, ‘you two are a ‘Rare Breed’ and not everybody’s going to love you and the people that do, are never going to forget you and you just need to dust yourself back up and dust yourself off and get back.’ This is how the name of the book came about. It was an ‘AHA’ moment for him too, because he was the one that at one point thought that we couldn’t pull this off and now he was encouraging us not to give up. He gave us that phrase in 2007 but we didn’t write about it until 2019. All those years we held on to this concept and didn’t know how to apply it. We knew how to apply it in business, but we didn’t know how to apply it to become a book. Eventually, fifteen years later it becomes a book. The point of that is that many people don’t have that switch where they go, it’s okay to be who I am. The things that people are calling, ‘my weaknesses’ might even be ‘my selling points’. Maybe these are ‘my superpowers’ and I don’t know it and that’s why we wrote ‘Rare Breed’. It was for those people. I wanted people to read it and go, ‘I have that in me and I’m tired I’m on a path that doesn’t make sense for me. I’m listening to everybody else but myself. What do I want out of this life?’. That’s why we wrote it. It helps people tap into that special something to awaken that voice and actually activate it so that they can go on and become ‘the one of a kind’, in whatever they’re doing. BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

If someone is struggling to find that voice or they are suppressing that voice because they are scared or they haven’t listened to it in the past, how do you suggest they should change and what steps do you think they need to take in order to harness that level of selfawareness?

I think it’s about finding the thing that makes you come alive. I know people who are accountants, their dad was an accountant, their grandfather was an accountant and they became an accountant. But their true passion is cooking, they wanted to be a chef. What I encourage people to ask themselves is why are you following that path, was it because you felt pressure, was it because you felt that you couldn’t break away from the pack and the lineage. There is so much pressure to do that. I had coffee in New York with a guy who’s a realtor. His entire family is known in New York for real estate. His family bought up several parts of the seaport area. He said you don’t break away, we’re all in it, we don’t leave. I said, ‘what do you mean you don’t leave?, he replied ‘This is not really my passion, but this is what our family does.’ I understand it but his loyalty to the family was bigger than his own need for happiness and on the flip side why 12

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would you as a family be ‘this is what you’re going to do come hell or high water’. Little by little, you’ve squashed every bit of happiness out of that individual because they’re not doing what they love. What I encourage people to do is to try to find ways to soothe that ache whatever that ache is. In some cases I’ve had friends or people that I know or even people that came up to us and have said I’ve been in this career and you gave me the courage to find a different path. I have been aching for this, I’ve had this longing for a very long time, and you’ve given me the courage to explore it. I think that it’s more about at least hearing it and heeding it and trying to find ways to chip away at that and find out

if that can be something that you do because I would rather slave away on something that I love than to give my life for something that I hate. That’s the thing that we have to remind people is how to give yourself fully to something that makes you come alive. What is that thing and go for it. We say in the book, ‘Chase down your passion like it’s the last bus of the night.’ Go for it, what are you waiting for? We have a video series called ‘Rare Breed’ where we sit down with cultural provocateurs in a variety of industries and we talk to them. We explore one of the vices in their life and talk deeply about when has that been a key to your success. When it also backfired. We go really deep on the topic but keep in mind that a lot of people told us that we couldn’t do that show. Not only did we executive produce it but we wrote it, we starred in it and we handled the entire orchestration. All while we were running Motto and writing the book. We’re firm believers that the more you tell us no the more we’re going to punch the wall. My best advice is that you’re going to hear ‘no’ and you’re going to hear more than you ever want to hear ‘no’, but you just have to know that that ‘no’ can become a ‘yes’ and it only takes one. You just gotta keep

pushing through the wall. Whatever the wall is you, just keep chipping away, and eventually you will reveal yourself to yourself which is where self-awareness comes to play. I think that ‘Rare Breeds’ are on a different frequency. They see things

How do we become more intuitive in our pursuit of tapping into our inner ‘Rare Breed’? Is it related to confidence when you trust your intuition or, from your experience? Have you come across people who have that intuition ingrained within them?

that other people don’t see, they hear things other people don’t hear, they are attuned to a slightly different frequency. However, I do think that you can learn some of that. We’re conditioned to push things out of what we don’t want to, think or feel. We can become conditioned in incredibly unfamiliar circumstances or even in unnatural environments. We can become something else. It’s when you take a good kid and you put them in a bad environment, or you take a bad kid and you put them in a good environment. Sometimes you can shape the outcome. I think that we can also influence things about ourselves that maybe we thought were not influential, we couldn’t tap into that part of ourselves or we BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

who is female. I remember looking at Ashleigh and thinking that I’m just going to say something because it was so over the top that it wasn’t even something that you could look the other way and pretend it wasn’t happening.

couldn’t hear that part of ourselves. It’s actually taking time to hear, to listen, to pay attention to what you’re feeling in the moment. A great example of this, in the book, is we were on a conference call with someone who was a CEO and he started belittling his marketing manager while we were on the call. I’ve been in that situation before and I think so many of us would think this is awkward, but you do nothing. You look the other way and pretend it’s not happening or try to drown it out. Motto works with global brands all over the world. We have Google, we have 20th Century Fox, we have huge clients. Our entire business is around helping leaders, teams and organizations align. Helping them find the big idea and what makes them really special, and to think and act like a ‘Rare Breed’. We have some tense moments because we’re working with people. On this call this CEO is belittling the marketing manager 14

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We shut down the call immediately and said we don’t like the way that he was talking to her and if that is any indication of how he works, we don’t want any part of it. It was a $400,000 project. This was game changing for us. The fact that we spoke up and said that made us think how many times he has done this in front of other people, other calls, other situations. How long has she taken it? This has to stop! You speak up in the moment. What happened was, she ended up emailing us after that call and said our courage gave her the courage to find her own. She put in her resignation that day and she left. How many of us don’t speak up, how many of us, know inside that whatever the situation is, it isn’t right, and we don’t do anything about it. It’s probably one of the most powerful assets that you have to be able to listen in a room, to be able to pick up what’s not being said. To tap into the emotion of someone else, to reflect back to them what they’re saying to you and feeling to you. It is such an underestimated gift and such a powerful tool that I think a lot of people don’t even know how powerful it is because again if you think about

companies and organizations, they make you check a good chunk of yourself at the door.

we teach leaders and teams how to look for ‘Rare Breeds’ within their organization and actually celebrate them. Teaching them to harness them Humans are messy. They have to and not suppress them because our leave that at home. We are educating natural instinct within companies is teams through workshops that we to push those emotional ‘Rare Breeds’ do. We have one component of the out. We want to shove them out the workshop that we call a ‘Rare Breed’ door because they’re too messy for us. workshop where we actually work On the flip side, emotional Rare Breeds with them on their differentiators, but can also be dangerous because they we also have another workshop where can read things that aren’t there. They read into situations. They can become overly emotional and overly sensitive to things that you say, or you do. So that’s the balance of knowing and teaching not only people how to learn to be aware of that but also teams and organizations how to know when you have an emotional ‘Rare Breed’. What works for them, how do you support them, how do you not let them go off the deep end because it’s easy for them to do. It’s easy for emotion to take a hold of us.

In the last 15 years of seeing the political and social environment change, do you think it’s a lot easier now to have that conversation and to say these things than it was when you started out?

One thousand percent! Ashleigh and I still to this day have all kinds of experiences of subtle suppression. You feel it in teams, you can read it in the room. There’s certainly a lot of people BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

who still have an old way of thinking. There’s a lot of diversity and inclusion problems. I think when we were starting out, specifically we were in a conservative town, so it probably made it a lot more prominent. We were young women, speaking out and being opinionated in a world where sixties Ad Men was the norm. You are seeing more and more people stepping forward speaking out at injustice, calling people out. It is so important for people to be seen and to be heard and to feel that their life has been witnessed in some way. People in organizations that have got away with racism or women being harassed, like some cultural figures that we grew to know and love, like Mario Batali. All this was going on and people weren’t saying a word. They were just protecting their job, protecting their work environment and meanwhile all that was going on.

What are some of the common flaws that you still see when you go into companies? What are the things that you see from time to time and you think to yourself, “I thought that was over 20 years ago?”

Every day! I mean our entire business is helping companies work to identify the idea, helping them crystallize the vision, the values, the purpose. Helping them align around that big idea, helping them execute that big idea and operationalize the brand throughout their entire organization.

Marketing is not someone else’s job. Brand is not someone else’s job. Brand belongs in all of us. If we work at a company, so much of our work is education. Helping leaders and teams think more critically about the importance of brand within their organization. Some of the big We need to be giving the misfits, brands, they know it. They have built LGBTQ community, women, the minorities the floor more than we are. monolith brands. However, sometimes big companies have an innovation lab We need to hear what’s really going or an innovation team that wants to on so that we can solve it and can fix do something extremely bold. They’re it. So, we can try to work towards a just aching to create something new better future, but we’ll never know if and innovative but by the time it gets people don’t speak up and don’t say to the top it’s got so many damn bullet what’s going on. You can’t course correct if you don’t know that there’s holes in it that you can’t recognize what the idea was anymore. It went sexual harassment going on at this leadership level of one of the greatest through so many people who don’t shows in America. I think it’s certainly care, don’t understand the brand, don’t easier now than it has been, but we’ve know and they’ve just shot down the thing that could make their company got a long way. 16

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have that competitive edge that they’ve been looking for or needed. I’m still surprised by it every day. I’m 15 years in and I’ve worked on some of the most complex branding problems in the world. I’ve seen it all. I’ve been in teams with amazing cultures and I’ve been in terrible cultures. I’ve been in so-so cultures. I’ve been in it all. I’ve seen it all. Nothing’s really shocking to me in that way, but I do believe that more and more companies really suppress the ‘Rare Breed’ talent within their organization. They try to do it the way it’s always been done, and they wonder why they don’t get a different result. If anything is disappointing it’s that. Helping them to understand and be okay with innovation and teams with different opinions and ideas. Also, to include diversity within their organization. Reflect on your leadership. Our job is to help people who want to be helped and we can come in and make a difference. I would say the most surprising thing is that you just see leaders, teams and organizations who are just afraid to innovate. They won’t let people innovate. They will suppress who they are and not allow people to fully come as their entire selves and know even what to do with them. It’s not like that in every company but it’s still prevalent. BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

I’ve made it a mission of ours when When you go into these we’re going in to listen and even talk companies, can you see the to people that aren’t at the leadership ‘Rare Breed’ as soon as you walk level. Another thing that is interesting in the door? is we will talk to people who have been in the company for 25 years and I’m so good at the room now. I can clean the pool. They don’t have any read an organization because we’ve say but they’re cleaning that pool, solved so many of the same problems every day and they hear everything again and again. You begin to that’s going on. One of the first recognize patterns. I’ve gotten pretty companies that this happened in was good at that, but I never go in thinking somebody who actually cleaned the I know it all. I go in to listen. I’m pool. He had been there for 25 years trained to listen to what’s being said and no one had ever asked him his and what’s not being said. I also try to opinion of anything. Every day he be inclusive. went in there and he cleaned that pool. He’d given half of his life to this When we’re in a room full of company. I wanted him in the room. executives and there’s some people It was amazing what he was able to around the table, maybe three or four give us. Leaders overlook that all the of them are extremely dominant. time. You’ve got to look for them, you It’s important for us to hear the have to listen for them, they’re there. other voices in the room. What I’ll Sometimes they’re blatantly obvious. find is that some of the quietest are often the most profound. Some of The ‘Rare Breed’ will want to the people who aren’t the loudest completely change everything. All in the room obviously are the ones your meetings are wrong, the way that sometimes are keepers of really everything is orchestrated is wrong. important information. They’ve You just can’t miss them because been drowned out by all of the more they’re so in your face about how confident people. I’m an extremely they see the world, but a lot of times confident person so you feel me when they’re quiet. I mean you think about I’m in the room. I even have to remind Rosa Parks. Rosa Parks was a rebel. It myself not to dominate because I’m wasn’t that she beat on the bus seats. a dominant personality, but I have She just didn’t move. You don’t have people on my team who are not that at to be the loudest rebel in the room to all, who are extremely quiet and don’t make a difference, you just have to say a whole lot but when they do it’s have conviction. Whatever that is even potent. if it’s quiet, you can be quiet.

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From a leadership point of view, what role does humility play?

Hubris is such a problem with great leaders. Even the greatest of leaders. We all have it. It’s easy the ‘line between light and dark is very murky’ as Carl Jung says. What we need more of is this heart centric leadership. Servant leadership, where when you’re coming in your job to serve your people, not the other way around. I firmly believe this, and I’ve seen some of the best leaders who adopt that mentality. We coach these types of leaders. Not be the loudest voice in the room, to give other people the floor and to hear what your people say, what your team says. It’s important. You have to have a big ego in order to do the impossible. I mean, I believe we could all agree that Elon Musk probably has a ridiculously large ego. He’s obsessive, he wants it done well. He’s extremely adamant about certain things. He sees what he sees, and he will not compromise. But one thing that he does that I think is smart is he doesn’t care where the idea comes from. He was talking about this on SpaceX when he said, ‘I don’t care who figures this out. I don’t care if it’s the intern. I just want to know that this spaceship is going to make it and I don’t care where the idea comes from’.

I thought that was extremely insightful. It speaks to what I’m talking about where you’ve got your ego so big that you don’t think anybody else can have a good answer or be right and I think that’s a fatal flaw.

Sunny Bonnell and Ashleigh Hansberger, are co-founders of Motto, an award-winning leadership and branding consultancy, and authors of Rare Breed: A Guide to Success for the Defiant, Dangerous, and Different (HarperCollins, September 2019). Additionally, they are hosts of the popular YouTube series and podcast, Rare Breed.

Available from most book retailers and amazon.co.uk BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

The Best, One of the Best, Our Best Words by NICK VELAZQUEZ

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We are obsessed with the idea of the genius, the talented, and the genetically gifted. We think that great achievers got to their level because of their physical traits or innate abilities, and that we could never get there ourselves because we don’t have what they have. It becomes an excuse to not pursue a craft. We think, “why bother if I don’t have what it takes?” Or even worse, “maybe I should get into something I’m better suited for.” We overestimate the part that talent and natural abilities play in learning and mastering skills. In most cases, those advantages only account for an edge and not the bulk of elite performance—and only matter in specific fields.

effort trying to. This brings us to another obsession: we are fixated on outcomes and comparisons, and we disdain everything that’s not the top. We don’t want to get into crafts we are not “suited” for. Those in which we believe it is less likely that we will reach elite levels. It seems like enjoyment, passion, purpose are not enough anymore; we want to know early on if we have a natural gift for our interest before investing too much time and effort into it—when in reality it’s time and effort that matters most. And if we believe we don’t have those “gifts”—or someone tells us we don’t have them—we don’t even give ourselves a chance. We look somewhere else. Somewhere where we think it would be easier to excel.

“YOU CAN BE ANYTHING YOU WANT...”

But we still resist that fact. It’s a resistance based on fear. We are afraid that regardless of how hard we work we’ll always be outshined by those who have nature on their side. In other words, we are afraid that even if we give our best we’ll still not be good enough. And that we would have wasted years of

And so, we ignore or abandon pursuits to avoid the possibility of giving them our all and still not “measure up.” It’s here where we need to take perspective and make an important distinction: The best, one of the best, our best. BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

“THERE EXISTS IN THE WORLD A SINGLE PATH ALONG WHICH NO ONE CAN GO EXCEPT YOU: WHITHER DOES IT LEAD? DO NOT ASK, GO ALONG IT.” Friedrich Nietzsche

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Let’s discuss each in brief and then make a case for pursuing our craft even if we are not suited for it. THE BEST To become the best in many fields we need a combination of hard work, luck, and yes, good genes or natural abilities. Not everyone can become the new Micheal Phelps or Usain Bolt. That’s not realistic. The “you can be anything you want” motivational line should come with a “conditions and restrictions may apply.” A more accurate statement would be, “Through consistent and persistent effort we can go far in any craft, regardless of natural traits. How far? Maybe not as far as we wished, or maybe further, no one knows. There’s a lot outside of our control that will influence the outcome. The only way to find out is by doing the work.” Of course, the latter statement is not as catchy and we’ll never see it in a motivation poster, but it’s closer to reality.

Remember: Michael Phelps wasn’t the entire US Olympic swimming team, nor Usain Bolt the entire Jamaican Sprinting team. Becoming one of the best is mostly within our reach if we are willing to work for it. This is even more the case if we consider subdivisions. If you are in your 60’s, you may not become one of the best swimmers in the world in general, but it’s likely that—through hard work—you could be one of the best senior swimmers in the world, maybe even the best. This is a built-in characteristic of many fighting sports. They have categories to account for what is objectively a physical advantage: weight. So, fighting sports have champions in different categories— even though it’s the same sport. We don’t talk about the best fighter, for instance, but rather the best pound per pound fighter or the best in a weight class. OUR BEST

ONE OF THE BEST

Finally, becoming our best. This is fully under our control. Our best is about realizing our potential given our circumstances and natural traits.

Becoming one of the best is more under our control. Nature and luck still play a role depending on our craft, but not as significantly. You can become one of the best in most fields.

Here, we are not comparing ourselves to others, their luck, or their genes. We are only looking at how much we can improve, how we can make the best of what we have. BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

become good at it, instead. Work Our focus is on being better than we harder and stay longer if you must. were before, and nothing is in the way So what if others have an advantage? of doing that. Incidentally, if we work So what if it takes us longer? So what on becoming our best, we are more if we have to put in more work than likely to become one of the best, and the rest? So what if we can never for some, even the best. become the best? That should not be a reason to stop, quit, or not even try. Is The problem is that we don’t even it unfair? Maybe. But that’s our reality, work on becoming our best. We keep and it’s not about to change anytime our focus on what everyone else soon. We can complain and get is doing, how others have “unfair” nothing done, or we can keep working advantages, and all the ways the to improve and see how far we can “game” is rigged against us. take our skills. Most self-help advice tells you to do what you are good at. That’s complacent. Do what you want and

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Let’s imagine your passion is swimming. But let’s also imagine there exists a machine that could tell you

with all certainty that you could never become the world’s best swimmer, not even top 10. Hell, not even top 100. What would you do? Would you give up your passion? Would you exchange it for something you don’t like but are naturally suited for? So maybe you don’t have the height and reach of Michael Phelps to ever come close to his records—even if you trained as hard as he did. But if you love swimming as much as him, you would swim, regardless of how far you would go. You should do it for you, for your passion, for what you love. And you should do it as best you can, wearing yourself out chasing the edges of your capabilities. Don’t you want to know how far you

can take your skills? Find out where your limits lie? Is that not worthy and noble enough regardless of how you measure against others? We have this fixation that if we don’t have everything lined up, if we see obstacles ahead, we don’t even want to try. We don’t want to invest time and effort if we don’t know they will “pay off”. But there’s no way of knowing. Phelps didn’t know he would become “Michael Phelps” when he started. He was just passionate about his sport and worked every day to become his best. It turned out that his best also qualified him as one of the best, and ultimately the best. But Phelps couldn’t have possibly known what lay ahead from the start, no one could. He just committed to the process and gave it his all without

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knowing how far it would take him. That’s the example we must follow. And keep in mind that even if our goal is to become one of the best, or the best, the path is the same, it starts and ends with us focusing on the only part under our control, doing the work and striving to become OUR BEST. “There exists in the world a single path along which no one can go except you: whither does it lead? Do not ask, go along it.” —Friedrich Nietzsche @velznick

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NICK VELASQUEZ is a passionate learner and devoted student of mastery. He’s the founder of the popular blog UnlimitedMastery.com, where he writes about learning science, peak performance, creativity, and mastering skills. His writing has been featured in outlets such as TIME, Entrepreneur, Thrive Global, and Thought Catalogue. Nick speaks multiple languages and spends his time between Tokyo and Montréal. https://unlimitedmastery.com/

Should I Stay or Should I go? Words by RANYA NEHMEH

One of the questions I get asked a lot is, how long should I stay in my job? With over fifteen years of work experience, mainly in the area of human resources, I have struggled to answer this question myself. When I was younger, I was told to change jobs every 2 – 5 years, which apparently was enough time to gain experience but not enough to become complacent in that position. But how solid is this advice in the current job market? Over recent years I have conducted extensive research on the topic of millennials and leadership, which culminated in a book called, ‘The Chameleon Leader’, which focuses

specifically on what millennials desire from their workplace leaders. One thing that became clear was that when the world changes, expectations change, and leaders must adapt in order to keep younger employees happy. Currently in the workplace, we tend to see different generations working together; baby boomers (who are hovering on either side of retirement), Generation Xers (40 – 55 years of age), millennials also known as Gen Ys (22 – 36 years of age) and Gen Zs (entering the workplace). Older generations have traditionally BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

prioritised job security and stability. It was common for them to stay in one job for most of their career, also known as the “cradle to grave” mentality. For example, my father worked 40 years with the United Nations, it was his first and only job. However, in the current constantly changing work landscape, this stay where you are notion is passé. If we look at millennials, who currently make up 35% of the workforce and by 2025 data suggests that they will make up the majority of the workforce, almost 75%, their notion of job security is different. They are known for leaving a job without hesitation when they feel their job expectations are not being met. In fact, they are notorious for job-hopping, 43% of millennials envisioned leaving their jobs within 2 years and only 28% sought to stay beyond 5 years. If you are struggling with whether to leave a job or not, there are three questions you could ask yourself: Is the learning curve in your job still on the rise? Are there opportunities to develop your skills and competencies further? If you are offered training, even on-the-job then use it. These opportunities should not be taken for granted. Many organisations are struggling to stay alive these days, and suffering serious budget cuts, so if you are being offered the chance to 28

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improve your skills at their expense consider this a plus. Is there room for career progression? Will you be able to grow your career with this company? Sometimes, careers take time to develop, they do not happen within the first few years of employment. That is an area where I believe millennial expectations are sometimes unrealistic. I hear from many of my HR colleagues, and see from my own experiences, young professionals who join the organisation and within the first year they are already asking for promotions, salary increases,

and growth and movement in the organisation. If they received everything they wanted in the first year, where is the incentive to work hard for that promotion or that salary increase? Don’t underestimate the value of having space to grow. The last question is related to your work environment and colleagues. Do you enjoy coming in to work every day? Or is there a sense of dread every time you enter the workplace? We spend over eight hours a day with our co-workers, so if we enjoy working with them, interacting and collaborating and learning together, this makes for a positive experience. When people are engaged and satisfied, they are much more likely to do their best work and in return be rewarded by the company. If you answered no to any of these questions then you have some things to think about or perhaps even enough of a reason to jump ship. If there are some aspects of the job that can still add value to you, consider staying put and see what opportunities unfold. At the end of the day, there is no right or wrong answer but having a realistic outlook and a combination of short and long-term goals is definitely a good approach. @thechameleonleader

Dr. Ranya Nehmeh is a third culture kid whose roots embrace the chaotic passion of the East from her Lebanese parents, the geometric symmetry of the West through her Austrian upbringing, blended together by a British education. She holds a Doctorate in Business Administration from the Swiss Management University and a Masters in Human Resources from the London School of Economics and Political Science (LSE). She has over fifteen years of work experience in the areas of external relations and human resource management. Ranya lives in Vienna, Austria. The CHAMELEON Leader is her debut book.

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Rare Breed Is it really so rare?

Words by RIDDHI KISHNADWALA

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“Always be unique – just like everyone else” – is what a famous saying goes. If we go by this, all the people in this world are unique. Hence, it can already be defined that all human beings are rare. Then why do some individuals inspire us a great deal, while many others serve as examples of who we should not be? Why do we have role models and beings whom we absolutely abhor? Being rare could be identified into two categories: 1. A type of rare which is the absolute best of everything that a person has to offer. 2. A type of rare which is exactly the opposite of what the first category has to offer. And we, the general population, fall somewhere in between these two categories, we have our own individual mix of good and bad qualities. As any good spiritual, self-help or philosophy book will recommend, we should strive on making the best of our good qualities to make life better for us and for others around us. Our bad or negative qualities need to be curtailed or minimized to reach the level of an ideal human being. There are numerous qualities which positively help us to be rare, like hard work, dedication, perseverance, agility and seeking knowledge. However, I think there are three lesser known qualities which, determines how rare we can be: 32

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EMPATHY Empathy is the quality of understanding the thoughts, actions and the intentions of other people. Everyone has this quality to a certain degree. The more we develop it, the more we feel connected to and involved with our fellow humans. This is the quality which enables us to make sacrifices, build strong relations and most importantly, help to put our thoughts across to other people in a way that appeals to their sensibilities. Cultivated positively, it can open doors of opportunities and resolve conflicts. Empathy is one of the highly regarded qualities that philosophers recommend for a better outlook on life. Many people confuse empathy with compassion, though both are closely linked. Let us just say empathy breeds compassion. One can be compassionate without being empathetic, while one cannot be empathetic without feeling compassionate for the other person. An empathetic person is always pleasant to talk to and earns immense respect for their understanding of human behavior. Rarely do we see a person who exhibits empathy lose the confidence in people, even though the situation is complicated and demanding. On the flip-side, a lack of empathy can lead to total chaos and complete

disillusionment for the person who lacks it, as his/her horizons are narrow and one is unable to see the complete picture. RISK-TAKING Whenever we read about any successful personality, we see one trait in common in them, that is the ability to take uncommon risks. To pursue the paths which are generally considered off-beat and prone to failure. Any venture taken in life involves risk, either big or small. Think of any role model you might have and they will fit into the mold of being risk-takers, often at the verge of losing everything. The quintessential rags-to-riches story is nothing more than a risk taken correctly. It would not be possible for all individuals to show such courage and risk everything, but a certain amount

of risk is necessary for progressing forward. To grow means to change, and no change comes without its share of risks. The good thing here is that it is possible to calculate risks. One need not take a leap of faith to move to the heights one has dreamed of, but can calculate the amount of risk he/she can reasonably take and then work towards their goal. Calculated risk taking is in fact the cornerstone of world changing success, though it is something most of the people overlook. The more risk-taking proves successful, the more it is fueled by its own successes. Not to mention this success makes the change pleasurable and yields the results one is looking for. Avoid being over-confident and blinded by the successes and your risk may yield considerably more rewards than the ones you bargained for.

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NETWORKING A big buzzword today is networking, which is present everywhere, be it large corporations, social media or simple day-to-day life. Making meaningful connections or relationships and sustaining them can have immense benefits. Speaking professionally, it can help one to soar new heights and gain new skills. On a more personal level, networking with the right people can help elevate the standard of our living. Often deep lifelong friendships are formed by a simple conversation which seems too difficult to start in the beginning. I have many such acquaintances which started out awkwardly but then ended up in enriching lifelong friendships. We are all social animals, being with the right people who can enrich and open new avenues for us are what is needed to have a perfectly balanced life. And, by networking, I do not mean random conversation with people on social media. These interactions can be tiring, with little results and more of a waste of time. Networking involves actively seeking out the right people to connect with based on your needs and interests, and cultivating a relationship with them. It involves taking an active interest in other peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s activities and finding ways by which your relationship with them will benefit the both of you. Actively finding people on social media with your own interests is a 34

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good form of networking. A point to note here that networking will not work selfishly. It is a give and take bargain, where you need to be there for other people too, either out of your own good nature or in return for a favour. Single sided networking works only until other people realize that there is no return for their actions. I believe that the above three qualities can help us to get inspired and work towards our best, even in the unlikeliest places. They fuel our passions and help us find our way when we are lost, bitter or just plain confused. These qualities take some time to develop. But, the fruits they bear justify all the efforts of cultivating them. @riddhikishnadwala

The Shield of “Know Thyself” Words by LUCY BARNES

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.” ― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

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This article is not to scare you or put you off human beings. Human beings are truly remarkable and for the most part they aspire for goodness. However, to actualise in our goodness we cannot be naïve to our capacity for evil. After all, black and white cannot be described but for one another. It is the classic Yin-Yang symbol of the inherent duality of everything. But why are we so eager to look into the light and so afraid of studying the dark? Indeed, knowing your darkness is an essential ingredient to knowing yourself. But it is one thing having the capacity for darkness, as we all do, but an entirely different thing being the darkness. But this exists. Unfortunately, no one studies the dark sides of the human psyche until they experience it themselves. Eerily, I encourage you to search on amazon for books on the topic of the Dark Triad. Why? I was alarmed by the majority of books that encourage traits of power, manipulation, and deception, rather than warn individuals against them. What makes it worse is that these books are labelled as ‘self-help’ and were sponsored by ads.

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See, ‘self-help’ by its phraseology implies correcting the self or ‘helping’ it, but it does not seem to grasp the deep preventative care necessary to protect the Self. We create weapons to fight the darkness, but we do not arm ourselves with the shield first. Do not get me wrong, there is an important place for self-help books, and I will never undermine the impact they can have. However, in my opinion, they should be met with what I call ‘mental surgery’ books, to help us face both the darkness within ourselves and also the darkness in others. Mental Surgery books can arm us with the most powerful shield: “Know Thyself.” The Dark Side of the Force? The Dark Triad generally refers to the dark traits of some human psyches that have the greatest capacity for harming others: Narcissism, Machiavellianism and Psychopathy (and Sociopathy). Unfortunately, the overuse and stigma surrounding Narcissism and Psychopathy in particular has meant that few understand the disorders (Narcissistic Personality Disorder is often equated, for example with

the word ‘Narcissistic’ and similarly ‘Psychopathy’ is generalised down to ‘psycho’). For the purposes of this essay, Machiavellianism is defined by an absence of morality for power or greed, taken from ‘The Prince’ by Machiavelli. In summary ‘The Prince’ suggested that strong rulers are harsh with their subjects. What mattered was pursuit of goals, not morality. I call Machiavellianism ‘the political darkness’ as it’s closely linked with the pursuit of money and power at all costs. More commonly, and even more invisible, however is Narcissism, or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Sadly, we often equate narcissism with someone who has abnormally high self-esteem. This is only a fraction of the truth, and as Twenge and Campbell say in their book ‘The Narcissism Epidemic:’

blaming others for their failings. It is common that they appear like Jekyll and act in private like Hyde, which makes them most dangerous. It is the OJ Simpson’s of the world. It is always the people you do not expect, the ones who appear externally like they have an inflated sense of self. But in an age where virtue signalling on Instagram seems more important than the deep inner work people do to be good in private, is it of any surprise that narcissists are, as Twenge & Campbell suggest, at epidemic levels?

“Measured objectively, narcissists are just like everyone else. Nevertheless, narcissists see themselves as fundamentally superior.” It is this entitlement factor that brands the narcissist. They believe they are entitled to money, status and believe they have dominion over their partners. Furthermore, they do not value relationships and often fail to have genuine connections because they cannot keep up the illusion for too long. Hence why they recycle people. Narcissists simultaneously brag about how ‘good’ they are, whilst BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

Lastly, let us not forget the Ted Bundy’s of the world: Psychopaths. Psychopaths are no less common, despite popular belief. The scariest part is most are not in prison: they are in high corporate positions. According to chilling data collated by Babiak & Hare in their masterpiece ‘Snakes in Suits: When Psychopaths Go to Work,’ 1% of the world’s population are said to be psychopathic. So that is roughly 7.8 million people. As described by Babiak and Hare: ‘The psychopath is the near-perfect invisible human predator.’ What makes the psychopath so eerie (and indeed, so interesting to study philosophically) is the fact that the limbic system in their brain does not light up when processing emotion. This means that they cannot feel compassion or guilt at all. Instead, the part of the brain that activates when presented with emotional data (for example, a dog being killed) is the language part of the brain. This means that psychopaths learn to interpret and charmingly mimic the emotions of other human beings. Given that they thrive in the corporate world, if you are also in the corporate world, the likelihood of you meeting a psychopath is high. If you ever get chills up your spine when looking at the eyes of anyone in your office…that is your body biologically preparing you for a predator. I ignored it once… do not be me. Is It Better the Devil You Know? Whereas to Machiavellians you are a political pawn, to narcissists you 38

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are whatever pawn they wish you to be…to psychopaths… you are prey. In fact, my therapist told me that those high on the Dark Triad, their sadist elements identify the insecurities of an empath or ‘masochist’ (anyone who will allow themselves to take on self-blame), like a detector. They scan you like snakes scan their prey. Once they find whatever it is in your psyche that you are hiding with your strong exterior, they latch onto it like a hook. But they do not pull it out quickly. No, little by little, they drag that hook out. Then they discard you when you no longer serve them well. In fact, many believe that they are not weak enough to fall for narcissistic or psychopathic charm. To tell you the truth, it has nothing to do with the weakness or strength of the victims. Dark Triad individuals are so captivating and mesmerising that they can manipulate and deceive anyone. We often forget that Ted Bundy was training to be a lawyer and even charmed his trial Judge. They are masters in the art of pulling the wool over people’s eyes. They have probably pulled the wool over yours too.

The Shield of “Know Thyself”: “Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” - Matthew 7:24-27 The art of knowing ourselves is a lifelong process, not an event. We cannot hurry that process owing to a fear of darkness, but we can encourage ourselves to at least try to face it so that we can spend more time in the light. The price we pay for not going within is always more than it is worth. Therapy is deeply stigmatised, but for no rational reason. Therapy is wisdom because it allows you to arm yourself. Master your vulnerabilities so they are not exploited or hijacked by those who detect these elements within you. There is nothing but strength in that.

human consciousness to its fullest? This is something that the narcissist or the psychopath may never be able to experience, except for theatrics or power. Having compassion for this at a distance is powerful but stay at a distance.

“Know Thyself” is a shield. It can protect you by preparing you. The more you read, the more you see. This is why it is so important to balance the classic self-help books with books that encourage you to understand your traumas and triggers, so these cannot be detected by predators. Some “Know Thyself” is not a sword. It recommendations: will not help you in malice. She who The Body Keeps the Score, by Bessel knows herself will know not to act Van Der Kolk; in malice. Those with the Dark Triad Lost Connections, by Johan Hari; traits are different in that they do The Drama Triangle, by Barry and not intend what they do in the literal Janae Weinhold; sense, for how can you intend to The Flight From Intimacy, by Barry have a brain that does not process and Janae Weinhold empathy? If anything, this is quite sad. Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic For, is not the essence of the Self the Mothers, by Karyl McBride ability to experience the full array of The most beautiful part about the BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

mental surgery bibliotherapy journey is that it is deeply unique and personal. I began by starting what I call my “trigger journal.” I identify everything that triggers me or makes me upset and emotional and write it down. Writing it down helps me to see what it is that I still have to work on, and from there I google books related to that specific topic. For example, in 2016 I realised that I tended to magnetise drama into my life which caused issues in my relationships. So I literally typed into my google search-bar “Why does drama follow me?” and one of the first results that came up after searching was the book: “The Drama Triangle, How To Escape Victim Consciousness” by Barry and Janae Weinhold. I bought the book, and to this day no book has had as much of a profound impact on my life. Two years later, I even performed a Tedx talk on the topic, sharing parts of my own journey. However, even the knowledge of Self I had acquired by then was not enough to protect me from the parts of myself I had kept hidden. Even with the self-caused drama gone, I fell prey to a narcissist/ psychopath. This is a cautionary tale because I care about humans more than anything: “Know Yourself,” before you have your Self destroyed and you have to rebuild it from scratch. The darkness that controls us most is the darkness we least want to look at. Be the man who built his house on a rock. @bookcaseofbarnes 40

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DISCLAIMER: This essay is designed to encourage you to read about books out of your comfort zone to explore a topic that could benefit you to have knowledge of. It is not, in any way, encouraging you to diagnose people as narcissists / psychopaths. These are serious conditions and should be treated as such. All you can do is help yourself to avoid. Use “Know Thyself” as a shield, not a diagnostic weapon. Books on the topic to prepare yourself: The Narcissism Epidemic, by Twenge & Campbell Snakes In Suits: When Psychopaths go to work, by Babiak & Hare Will I ever be good enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, by Karyl McBride Control and Power: Why Charming Men Can Make Dangerous Lovers, by Sandra Horley OBE Selfie, by Will Storr

Good Work Takes Time Words by ADAM LOWENSTEIN

In January, when I finished reading Isabel Wilkerson’s 2010 book, The Warmth of Other Suns, I was amazed. I also had questions.

Wilkerson had been publishing constant bombshell articles or hot takes in newspapers and magazines. She didn’t appear to have become a full-time pundit or Twitter personality. How, I wondered, does someone She hadn’t published another book. write a book like this? As the subtitle It’s sad, and embarrassing, to admit (“the epic story of America’s Great the extent to which these meaningless Migration”) suggests, The Warmth metrics had warped my expectations. of Other Suns is an epic book. It’s I had been conditioned to assume that epic in every sense of the word. It is bestselling authors must be constantly iconic, painting one of the defining seen and heard on cable news, social portraits of the Great Migration. It is media, podcasts, and all the different unbelievably well-researched. It is a platforms that shape our minutegripping story, describing the journeys by-minute political and cultural and the families of three Black conversations. Americans, Ida Mae Gladney, George Starling, and Robert Foster, in the kind of detail that can only come from thousands of hours of interviews. The book is also epic in the sense that it manages to weave together moving narratives and revealing anecdotes with the “hard” stuff -- the facts, the research, the data, the history -- in a way that often reads like a novel. Most significantly, it’s epic in the sense of having changed how millions of people understand what Wilkerson describes as “first mass act of independence by a people who were in bondage in this country for far longer than they have been free.” How does one write a book like The Warmth of Other Suns? That prompted my second question: What happened after Wilkerson wrote it? In the years after Warmth hit bookshelves, it didn’t seem like 42

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This admission reflects how selfcentered the modern media age can make us. Well before Warmth was published, Wilkerson won a Pulitzer Prize for her reporting. In 2015, she was awarded a National Humanities Medal. Over the past decade, she had been writing and speaking regularly. But because I hadn’t happened to stumble across her more recent accolades and material, I simply assumed it didn’t exist. How did Wilkerson write The Warmth of Other Suns? And what happened after she wrote it? Both questions have now been thoroughly answered, and my reasons for asking them thoroughly dismantled, by the publication of her new book, Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents. In Caste, Wilkerson demolishes the comforting notion America is a mostly free and meritocratic society with lingering pockets of racial prejudice and discrimination. She shows that America is, and has always been, a race-based caste system in which

“caste is the bones, race the skin.” She explains that “caste is fixed and rigid. Race is fluid and superficial, subject to periodic redefinition to meet the needs of the dominant caste in what is now the United States.” It is a powerful, troubling, enlightening, uncomfortable, and necessary book. (Reviewing Caste for the New York Times, Dwight Garner called it an “instant American classic and almost certainly the keynote nonfiction book of the American century thus far.”) It is also of those books that makes you think as you’re reading it, writing this book must have taken a lifetime! And there was the answer to my second question. What had Wilkerson been doing in the decade since she published The Warmth of Other Suns? She had been working. Because good work takes time. On its face, that’s an obvious statement. Intellectually, objectively, we all recognize that the time it takes BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

to do something is… however much time it takes to do that thing. Yet our current information environment of instant gratification and unlimited content obscures this basic, and universal, truth. It’s hard to accept that good work takes time. That good work takes work. The speed of our news, the constant connectivity of our technology, the attraction of our distractions, and the shrinking of our attention spans combine to make it seem almost inconceivable to spend years, or decades, on a single project. It’s a notion that has been reinforced by movies and TV shows that can funnel a lifetime of work into threeminute montages of lawyers preparing cases, scientists working in labs, athletes lifting weights, investigative journalists working late into the night among stacks of newspapers. Viewers always see the end product: the dramatic court hearing, the vaccine, the victory, the exposé. But we rarely see the work. Once we take a step back from these learned expectations, the real story becomes immediately clear: Of course epic works like The Warmth of Other Suns and Caste take time. Wilkerson recently explored this topic in an interview with journalist Anand Giridharadas. Caste may have taken 10 years, but as she tells Giridharadas, The Warmth of Other Suns took 15. Fifteen years. That’s nearly 5,500 24-hour news cycles. This exchange says it all: Giridharadas: There has been this quickening of the culture, this increasing reactivity in the culture, this feeling that you have to constantly be putting things out there. And you have gambled your career and your vocation on a completely opposite wager that it is the slow work, the long research, these two masterpieces 44

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that you’ve written that changed the conversation from the moment they landed. Can you talk about that kind of faith in the intellectual slow food of your books in this very fast age? Wilkerson: The Warmth of Other Suns took so long -- it took 15 years -- that I often say, if it were a human being, it would be in high school and dating. That’s how long it took me. It’s the nature of the work, especially narrative nonfiction, that it cannot be done quickly. If you’re really trying to get inside the hearts and minds and experiences of people, you have to spend time with people. You have to be on their time schedule in terms of where and how they feel comfortable sharing sometimes the most painful or intimate aspects of their life experiences, and there’s no way of rushing it. You’re on their time schedule. You’re on the time schedule of the human heart. So it just takes the time that it does. There has to be this faith that, if you feel that it’s important and you feel that this is what you’re called to do, then it will work out in the end. There’s no guarantee when you start, no guarantee whatsoever. And every time you start it feels like you’re jumping off a cliff into the unknown and you just hope that it will work. I go in completely open because I don’t know what I’m going to be in for. For The Warmth of Other Suns, I essentially had this casting call, you might say, of interviewing 1,200 people. By that I mean auditioning 45

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people. I talked to a lot of people. Did not spend as much time with each of them, clearly -- it’s 1,200 people. But it was an effort to try to find the three people through whose life story the range of experiences of the Great Migration would come through. It just took the time that it did. It just took the time that it did. I’m currently engrossed in Parting the Waters, the first book in Taylor Branch’s America in the King Years trilogy, which chronicles the civil rights movement through the life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. On his website, Branch introduces these books as “my major life’s work.” He planned to finish the series in three years, he writes, but ultimately “the project consumed 24 years of wondrous obsession for me.” Good work takes time.

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In November 2009, Lin-Manuel Miranda tweeted that he had “spent the entire day working on one couplet about George Washington.” Hamilton didn’t open on Broadway until January 2015, more than five years after that tweet and seven years after Miranda started the project. Ron Chernow had previously spent six years writing the biography that inspired Miranda to write the play. Good work takes time. Robert Caro’s first book, The Power Broker, took seven years; the first manuscript was one million words. Then, in 1976, Caro began working on the initial installment of The Years of Lyndon Johnson series. He is still working on the fifth book in that series. Good work takes time. How much time? As the mental conditioning coach Trevor Moawad puts it: It takes what it takes. Some creators like Wilkerson, Branch, and Caro will make the promotional rounds when they publish a new book, but you probably won’t see them chattering on cable news or engaging relentlessly on Twitter or hosting podcasts or publishing weekly columns (or email newsletters…). They’re busy doing their work. Others, like Miranda, somehow seem to be everywhere, all of the time.

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Yet no matter how they approach their craft, what they do, and what we know them for, is built on a foundation of years of steady, often anonymous, almost always unglamorous, work. Work that is inherently precarious. Work for which the return on investment -- of time, money, effort, focus -- is never guaranteed. That’s worth remembering in this era, when politicians and presidents shamelessly say they’ve done things that they never did and never intended to do, when corporations publish statements proclaiming antiracist commitments without making fundamental changes to how they

operate or who they hire or what they advocate for, when entire generations have grown up on self-idolizing social media platforms with assurances that we should “fake it till we make it” and hone our “personal brand.” It’s worth reminding ourselves that even in this era, even today, there are master crafters quietly, doggedly, determinedly doing their work, however long it takes. @adamlowenstein Adam Lowenstein, author of Reframe the Day: Embracing the Craft of Life, One Day at a Time. A version of this article was previously published on Elephant Journal. The author is donating all profits from book sales to the Covid-19 response efforts of Direct Relief. To receive the first three chapters of Reframe the Day for free, subscribe to his newsletter, “Reframe Your Inbox,” at adaml.blog/newsletter. Adam M. Lowenstein is the author of the new book, Reframe the Day: Embracing the Craft of Life, One Day at a Time. He spent eight years working in American government and politics, most recently as a speechwriter and strategic communications advisor in the U.S. Senate. Today, Adam lives in London with his partner, Erin, and writes frequently about politics, work, and life.

Visit his website, see his latest work, and subscribe to his newsletter, “Reframe Your Inbox,” at www.adaml.blog

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Not Everyone Loves Elon Musk Words by POURYA HOSSEINI

A true epitome of the seven vices that the book Rare Breed talks about is Elon Musk. In his autobiography written by Ashlee Vance, the author indicated those seven traits implicitly by explaining Elon Musk’s life in the first three chapters. In 2001, Musk with his team went to Russia to buy some Ballistic Missiles for their launch missions. But after Russians mocked him because of his youthful-looking face, he stormed back to America and built his own space exploration company, SpaceX. As a rebellious person, he didn’t like to be under anybody’s thumb and therefore decided to push the limits to define the rules himself. Being audacious (Unshakable self-confidence. Bold. Ambitious. Unstoppable). Before Elon Musk, nobody ever dared to launch their own space exploration company. 48

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People thought that only governments can handle such big hurdles. Although many discouraged him, he managed to launch his first successful mission, after four failed missions, in 2008. Regarding four consecutive failures, the author states “the failures seemed to do little to curtal Musk’s vision for the future or raise doubts about his capabilities”. Being obsessed (Relentless. Fanatical. Neurotic). Elon was so obsessed about electric cars, solar energy and rockets that he says “I told all my ex-girlfriends and my ex-wife about these ideas” and he adds “it probably sounded like super-crazy talk.” Being hot blooded (Passionate. Mercurial. Intense. Fiery). Musk was so passionate to build start-ups that after his first start-up Zip2 had been sold for $307 million, he didn’t stop and continued to make PayPal.

Although PayPal also had been sold to eBay, he poured all his money into two other ventures, SpaceX and Tesla. As a hot-blooded person, he always pushes his limits to accomplish more and he never stopped. Being weird (Quirky. Eccentric. Different). In many interviews that the author did with Musk, he described him as “shy and borderline awkward”. Just by observing his tweets about his newborn son, whose name is X Æ A-Xii, you get a good sense why he is weird. Because of this trait, the author states “dozens of people expressed their conclusion that Musk sits somewhere on autism spectrum and lacking understanding people’s emotions.” Being hypnotic (Charismatic. Persuasive. Manipulative). Elon Musk introduced his wild dreams to the world when no one believed him. Musk leverages the power of reality

distortion field (RDF), by persuading his employees to not see the reality but only what he wants them to see. Being emotional (Sensitive. Intuitive. Sentimental). According to Riley, his former wife, “He is very loving and deeply emotional. He tries to come home early for family dinners with me and the kids. When he feels something, he feels it so completely and purely. He is like a child”. By reading Elon Musk’s life you can easily identify these seven traits in him. This book shows us that Elon Musk is a successful entrepreneur whose traits that society deems as vices but without those vices there wouldn’t be any Elon Musk today. @pouryalifestyle @Pourya___hg

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Why Reading Alone Is Not Enough Words by AUN ABDI

When we read, we are constantly exploring the unknown. New ideas, thoughts and experiences are being handed down to us by the author often leaving us overwhelmed with information. This puts pressure on us to use this information in practise. However, often we end up short.

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Readers fall into two camps (generally). Those that read for pleasure and whatever practical emerges from the writing might be implemented depending on whether it is remembered. The second group (in which I am a member of) systemically go through a book looking for ways to improve their life. If you’re reading fiction alone this discussion is arbitrary, yet if you read non-fiction the first group might need to rethink their strategy. When a non-fiction book is written its aim is to inform, educate and provide knowledge based on the experience of the author. The author supplements this with stories to back up their experiences to solidify their argument and provide more reasons for the reader to take what they are saying seriously. When this is done, the reader, is left with the impetus to take action and find ways to use this wisdom in practise. The issue comes when this wisdom is left un-actioned. In the past, I have read many books that I was left questioning what to do with the information given. This started to happen with such frequency that I was questioning the purpose of my reading habit. Was it to read for my own education and personal growth? Or was it to read merely for the sake of reading? This is when I knew I had to make a change. After deliberating on this point for

quite some time, I found that asking myself a simple question before starting to read a book actually helped. “Why am I reading this?” Simple, I know. But we often forget it. Reading with purpose, is effective reading. When we know what we are reading for, the information in the book becomes a lot clearer and we are able to use it to our advantage. As John C. Maxwell once said:

“a wise person learns from his mistakes. A wiser one learns from others’ mistakes. But the wisest person of all learns from others’s successes.” When we use a book to determine how to live more correctly based on our individuals goals, reading becomes a rewarding exercise. When you do this you won’t look back. BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

Book Review The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari Robin Sharma Harper Thorsons; Thorsons Classics edition (31 Dec. 2015)

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Monk Who Sold His Ferrari is story of a famous lawyer named Julian Mantle. Despite having many material objects, he lacks spirituality and respite. Therefore, he sells all of his materialistic objects including his adored Ferrari, and travels to India to find answers to his questions about life. There he meets a person who tells him about the group of sages living in the Himalayas who claim to have found the keys to a happy life. However, that person has not met them. The protagonist travels to the Himalayas to meet the sages. When he arrives the sages teach him the lessons regarding every aspect of life. Those lessons are summarised as: ONE The quality of your life is directly proportional to the quantity of your service to other people. TWO Mind is in your control. Therefore, follow Mahatama Gandhi and never let anyone walk through your mind with one’s dirty feet. THREE When we are born, everyone rejoices while we cry. However, we should spend our lives in a way that when we die, everyone cries while we enjoy. FOUR Reading is a substantial nourishment for your mind. Therefore, read daily for at least thirty minutes. FIVE When we are young, we are ready to give away all our health to gain wealth. However, when we become old we become ready to invest all our wealth for the sake of health. Thus, give your health some importance through good diet and daily exercise. Some books are meant to be tasted. Some books are meant to be chewed. This book by Robin Sharma is meant to be gulped. Therefore, don’t waste your time. Take ‘The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari’ in your hands and change your life. Syed Kazim Kazmi @kazimandbooks BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

Book Review

Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood Trever Noah One World (15 Nov. 2016)

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“My mom would always say, ‘My job is to feed your body, feed your spirit, and feed your mind’ […] She found money for food and books.” taken from Born a Crime by Trevor Noah What does belonging mean to you? In a world that is against your existence, what matters? Opening up with the Immorality Act from 1927, a decree prohibiting ‘carnal intercourse’ between Europeans and natives in South Africa, Noah sets the alarming and unsettling scene for his memoir, Born a Crime. Whilst the descriptions of apartheid’s insidiousness shocks and unsettles, the tone of the book remains vivid, cutting and clever - a gritty and witty journeying through Noah’s South African childhood with tales that many can relate to. The story of this book and I began after watching his Netflix special Son of Patricia, in wonder and in fits of hysterics. Split up into 3 parts, in chronological order, readers are taken on a rollercoaster ride of Noah’s youth where he experienced a life with poor and humble beginnings but as he describes it “rich in experience”. And what an experience. From the simmering hope of Soweto, the intricacies of religion and unmovable faith to candid conversations with Koko and from absent fathers to tales of South African mob justice…we’re invited

in, to laugh and even to cry alongside young Noah, teen Noah and grown Noah. There were moments I felt as if I was in an intimate comedy theatre with him, imagining Noah pacing up and down the stage of his childhood with me in the audience. My favourite chapter; Fufi. No spoilers here but it is an endearing story. The story of Fufi is one with a fantastic moral, one about metaphoric 808s and heartbreaks. So much can be learnt when reading this memoir. Did you know South Africa has 11 official languages? Alongside learning many languages, Noah is a man fed in body, spirit and mind due to his mother’s decision, all those years back, to teach him how to think. He is a Rare Breed. Living in the centuries-old racist system known as apartheid, with the absurdities of the then government and the inabilities of the police and those in power, this book hit close to home. In the current world we live in, we cannot be far removed from the injustices that continue to exist. A drop of black was considered criminal not so long ago in South Africa. Reading this book, it was hard not to think of my son. In today’s broken society, is he born a crime too? Vivi Kala @theculturedmarketer.reads BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

Book Review

The Moment of Lift - How Empowering Women Changes the World Melinda Gates Bluebird; Main Market Edition (25 April 2019)

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“I believe that, when people who are bound by rules, have no role in shaping the protocols of the society, moral blind spots become laws, and the powerless bear the burden.”Melinda Gates. This powerful quote by Gates implies that we all have something to offer to society. This is how humans feel included. Hence, if we want to include everyone, then, we must help them develop their talents, (no matter, how rare a talent that is) and use their gifts for the good of the community. That’s what inclusion means—everyone is a contributor. The book presents examples of the frontline, on the ground warriors of the gender equality movement who, supported by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, undertook transforming initiatives such as: Providing elementary education to girls. Accessibility to contraceptives and imparting the knowledge of family planning to the low income/ low populations such as Africa and South Asia. Cultivating the choice of getting married to minimize the detrimental impact of child marriage. Creating optimal solutions to increase participation of women in male dominated professions such as farming and gaming industry.

about the rise of women and the fall of men. It is about the rise of all the gender identities working towards forming an equal partnership. Society should be governed by skill, effort, talent and accomplishments instead of gender, wealth and privilege. The collective intelligence of a workgroup is directly proportional to the group’s gender diversity, as supported by a 2010 academic study. Ostensibly, the Covid-19 worldwide lockdown has helped sever the false hierarchy, that prevents the opposite genders in diminishing the gender gap on the average hours spent on domestic/unpaid work. The theme ‘Rare Breed’ also alludes to trailblazers such as The Late ‘Notorious’ Ruth Bader Ginsburg, who followed the pursuit of justice with her strong dissent towards gender inequality. Monica Ashwini @monica_ashwini

This book is a thought provoking read that inspires us to ponder over our contribution to eliminate the gender differences in the society. It is never BOOK TALK TODAY MAGAZINE

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