In The News

Lollipop lady

Have you ever heard of a lollipop man or woman? They’re a common feature of life in Britain, and they are basically men or women who help school-children cross roads near primary schools. They usually wear yellow jackets and carry large sticks with a circle at the top, which look like giant lollipops. Most lollipop men or women are responsible adults who perform a useful role in society, helping children get across the road next to schools. However, one such lollipop woman, Linda McLaughlin, 51, managed to lose her job. It all happened when Michael Roberts, a parent from the local school, noticed something very strange: ”I was standing outside the school, waiting for my daughter to come out,” Roberts explained, “when I saw how Mrs McLaughlin seemed to be walking backwards and forwards across the road. Then, I saw how she gripped on to a lamp post, and at another moment how she tried to cross the road, but found herself walking sideways, just like a crab. I thought, ‘this is very strange, she seems to be drunk’. And then my suspicions were confirmed when I saw her being sick in a nearby bush.” Mr Roberts immediately contacted the police. When they arrived, they found Mrs McLaughlin to be under the influence of alcohol and arrested her. She has been indefinitely suspended pending a court case.

Kangaroo

The hero of a recent accident in Australia was a 4-year-old kangaroo called Lola. She went to get help after a farmer was trapped under a falling tree. “I was conscious,” said the 49-year-old farmer, James Richards, “and I could see Lola jumping up and down next to me, trying to help. Next thing, she just hopped off to get help.” Richards was knocked unconscious by the tree as he was sitting under it enjoying a can of beer in the shade. “I’d be pushing up daisies if it wasn’t for Lola,” Richards added. Lola has been given a bravery award. So far she has declined to comment.

Elvis Presley

A young writer is the new hero of the Scottish Tourist Board. 27-year-old Andrew Brewer claims that Elvis Presley’s ancestors came from Houndon, a small village in northeast Scotland. In his book, The Presley Prophecy, Brewer says he has traced back the “King’s” ancestry to more than 250 years ago. He used local records to help him and discovered that on 27th August 1713 a certain Andrew Presley married Elspeth Leg in Lonmay. Their son, also called Andrew, became a blacksmith and was the first Presley to leave Scotland, emigrating to America in 1745. Since the announcement, scores of journalists and TV crews have gone to Lonmay, a Scottish village near Aberdeen. “This could be fantastic for tourism,” said Ian Hainey, a spokesman for the Scottish Tourist Board, who has been rubbing his hands in delight ever since the discovery. “Elvis’s Graceland mansion in Memphis gets more than 1 million visitors a year. So even if we got half that number we’d be doing very well,” the spokesman added. G L O S S A R Y

a lollipop n a sweet that consists of a stick with a hard, round sweet at the end to grip on to something exp to hold something in your hands with a lot of force - normally because that thing is difficult to control a crab n an animal that lives in the sea and walks to the side instead of forwards and backwards a bush n a small tree (and a president of the US) indefinitely adv for a period of time that has no limit suspended adj if you are “suspended”, you have to leave an organi-sation temporarily pending a court case exp while she is waiting for a court case (a legal trial) to hop off phr vb to “hop” is to jump. If you “hop off”, you leave a place by jumping knocked unconscious exp if you are “knocked uncon-scious”, something hits you on the head and you lose consciousness to push up daisies exp inform if you are “pushing up the daisies”, you are dead. Literally, “daisies” are flowers a bravery award n a prize because you have been so brave (courageous) to decline to comment exp to say that you are going to give no information the Scottish Tourist Board n the organisation that pro-motes Scotland as a tourist destination to trace back phr vb to discover the origins of something in the past ancestry n your family a blacksmith n a person who repairs the shoes on horses’ feet scores of exp a “score” is 20. In this case it means “lots of” to rub your hands in delight exp to be very pleased because you are about to make lots of money. Literally, to move your hands against each other to do very well exp in this case, to make lots of money