Crank Calls

Here are some more crank calls - those funny telephone calls that are designed to wind people up. Have fun listening to these two. (answers on page 50)

Crank Call I - The Prize

For this call we phoned someone to congratulate them for having won first prize in a competition. Listen to the conversation and answer this question: In your opinion, what words might describe the woman’s response to the telephone call?

Victim: Hello? Hot: Hi, this is Warner TimeShare Productions. You have won first prize in our competition. Victim: First prize? What for? I didn’t enter any competition. Hot: Your name was selected. Victim: Oh, alright. What did I win? Hot: The first prize is three dogs. Victim: What? Three dogs? Hot: Yes, three dogs. Victim: But I live in the centre in a small apartment - I can’t have three dogs. Hot: What? Victim: I can’t take the dogs. Hot: You can’t take them. Victim: There are two of us living in one room. Hot: Well, the dogs could sleep in the kitchen. They’re house- trained. Victim: No, it’s out of the question. Hot: Well, couldn’t you just take them. Then, if you change your mind, you could dump them somewhere. You know, you could take them down to the railway line. Victim: I’m not going to do that. Hot: Or you could drown them. Victim: You’re joking. Hot: Mmm… I don’t suppose you know anybody who likes dog meat, do you?

Crank Call II - The Hairdresser’s

For this call we phoned a hairdresser’s and made a very special request. Listen to the conversation and answer this question: What does the hairdresser try to do at the end of the conversation?

Victim: “Scissors Hair Salon”, how can I help you? Hot: Oh, hi, do you do men’s hair? Victim: Yes, sir. Hot: Oh good, I was wondering whether you would be able to shine my bald patch. Victim: I beg your pardon. Hot: To shine my bald patch. Victim: Well, we don’t normally do that kind of thing. Hot: But you could this time? A non-reflective bald patch frightens people. Victim: I guess. But I’m not quite sure what to use. Hot: Car wax would be fine. When can I come? Victim: Are you sure about that? Hot: Yes, shall I bring my own wax and cloth? Victim: Yes, erm, maybe I should pass you on to the manager. Hot: No, I don’t want to speak to the manager, bye. Victim: Oh, right, bye.

G L O S S A R Y

to wind someone up phr vb to irritate someone and make them angry house-trained adj if a dog or cat is “house-trained”, it goes to the toilet in a special box reserved for the animal to dump vb to leave; to put quickly and casually the railway line n the thin metal lines that the train travels on to drown vb to kill something by putting it in water a hairdresser’s n a shop where you can get a haircut. The person is the “hairdresser” do you do men’s hair? exp this means: “do you cut men’s hair?” to shine vb to clean something (metal, usually) so it is bright and shiny a bald patch n an area on your head that has no hair non-reflective adj that does not reflect light I guess exp I think so; I suppose car wax n a substance used to clean the outside of a car a cloth n a piece of material used for cleaning to pass somebody on to another person exp on the telephone: to connect someone with another person in the same building/ organisation, etc