Break Free

One youth’s coming out story

By Jacob Hall

Although my story is not unique and there are many more like me, I felt very alone in my own world. My name is Jacob. I am 14 years old and I am gay.

I came to this conclusion in the sixth grade. I knew that I was different but didn’t quite understand why. I tried to hide the fact that I was gay and told myself, “No, not me.” I thought it was just a phase I’d outgrow. I grew up in a Catholic family and went to a small private Catholic school, where everybody knew everybody and nothing was kept secret. When I started seventh grade, I was scared about everyone finding out my biggest secret. My friends began to question me about my sexuality. I wasn’t ready to come out and denied being gay. I tried dating my friend, Autumn, to stop the questioning. In eighth grade, I decided to keep to myself. I didn’t date anyone and just focused on life and school.

Finally, summer came! I could be more myself without friends asking questions. I met my first boyfriend, though not yet being out of the closet made things much harder than I thought. I didn’t like sneaking around and lying to my family, but I was scared of losing them and not being loved. I finally decided that I was ready to break out of my shell and be myself. This sparked questioning from some aunts, uncles, and cousins. I started looking up creative ways of coming out, even though I was afraid of being disowned for not being the perfect child, or being told that I couldn’t be gay or that God wouldn’t love me anymore. Not knowing the outcome was terrifying.

I came out to my cousin Jeremy first. I trusted him and knew he would be there to help me through it all. One thing he said which gave me strength is “God doesn’t make mistakes; he only makes perfect”. This inspired me to start coming out to my family. I decided to make cupcakes and frosted each one with a different color of the rainbow. On six cupcakes I wrote individual letters to spell out “I AM GAY”. I showed my sister first and she responded that she loved and accepted me. She helped me tell my mom. That was the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life, but my mom was so proud of me and gave me a big hug and kiss. I asked my mom to tell my dad and he was also very accepting.

The hard part of telling my parents was over. I was so happy and thankful to know that my family accepted me being gay. I was happy that I didn’t have that burden anymore. Next I told my friends. Although I lost some old friends, I gained some new ones. When it came to my cousins, aunts, and uncles, my parents helped me come out. They also accepted me. I am thankful to know that my family accepts me completely. Then I came out on Instagram and other social media. I posted a picture of me with “NO H8” written on my chest, which was taken during a parade that I was in at my summer camp. All comments on that picture were of acceptance and love; there was no hate. I finally broke out of my shell and was comfortable being myself and being accepted.

When high school began, I wasn’t scared to be myself. Most of my new friends were girls, but I also had some guys who also accepted me and didn’t care about my sexuality. Although I was talked about by some, I told myself that they are jealous and have nothing better to do with their lives. My cousin Jeremy was my shoulder to lean on. Eventually, I found it easier to find relationships online and had my first long-distance relationship. However, I soon became depressed because I couldn’t physically see him and chose not to date long distance again.

That’s when my mom started looking for local youth groups and found a Boston Pride Valentine’s Day dance for LGBT youth. I felt so at home when I walked into the event because I knew it was a judgment-free, hate-free space. Everyone was nice and I made some new friends. It was fun. I wasn’t ashamed or afraid to be myself. I learned that Boston Pride has other youth events coming up and I can’t wait to go to those too. Any place I can go, have fun, and just be me is a good place to be. I know that I’ll still have struggles, but I will continue to stand strong with the support of my family, friends, and youth group activities. Don’t be ashamed or scared to break free from your shell. Be yourself and don’t let anybody tell you differently.

Jacob Hall is a freshman at a vocational technical high school. He is interested in cosmetology. For fun, he enjoys snowboarding and going to theme parks. Hall also loves the ocean and taking pictures of nature. Most recently, he has gotten involved with Boston Pride’s Youth Team.

That’s when my mom started looking for local youth groups and found a Boston Pride Valentine’s Day dance for LGBT youth. I felt so at home when I walked into the event because I knew it was a judgmentfree, hate-free space.