SAVAGE LOVE

BY DAN SAVAGE

ysis ‘for her own good.’ But if you go with that way of thinking, you can basically just declare people incompetent — people who otherwise would not be seen as incompetent — every time they choose something you think is a bad idea.”

However, if there’s evidence of diminished mental capacity, that would argue against taking the money, the house, etc.

“Basically, if SETUP has some other, independent set of good reasons for thinking the sub is ‘not in his right mind’ apart from the sheer fact of offering to sign away all his assets,” said Dr. Earp, “then it’s not paternalistic to say, ‘No, I’m not going to honor your request.’”

So, if signing over all his assets is the only crazy thing your sub wants to do, you can take the money. But if signing everything over to you is one crazy tree in a forest full of crazy trees, you can’t take the money.

But how crazy is wanting to give everything you own to someone anyway?

“If we were to think giving all your stuff away without ‘expecting anything in return’ is evidence of not being in your right mind,” said Dr. Earp, “I wonder why you wouldn’t reach the same conclusion if the person just wanted to give away most of their stuff, or half of their stuff. Why wouldn’t you conclude that entering into a FinDom relationship as a sub is not by itself evidence that someone is not in his right mind? But if SETUP isn’t willing to concede that, as I assume he is not, then I don’t see why — without other corroborating evidence of decision-making incompetence — SETUP should think that the sub’s desire to give away most or all their stuff is somehow, by itself, disqualifyingly irrational.”

Assuming SETUP is telling us the truth — his sub offered, SETUP didn’t demand; there are no children or other dependents — this one seems like a pretty easy call.

Good luck to you, SETUP, whatever you decide to do.

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