SAVAGE LOVE

BY DAN SAVAGE

DEAR DAN: I’m a 34-year-old cis bi guy who recently moved after getting out of a rocky, dead-bedroom marriage. I decided to hire a professional mommy domme to live out my adult baby/diaper lover (ABDL) fantasies for the first time. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that one of the local dommes is my former high school girlfriend. We were together for a little less than a year, and haven’t kept up with each other. She’s super hot and I can’t think of anybody who I would trust more for my first time visiting a sex worker. But I worry she would find it weird to get a session request from an ex-boyfriend from high school.

— Anxiously Babbling Divorced Lad

DEAR ABDL: “It’s been over 10 years since they graduated; everyone is a grown up now,” said Mistress Matisse, a sex worker with decades of experience. “He needs to be honest and say, ‘I feel like this could be a great and safe experience for us both. But if you feel like this is too weird, I understand and I won’t contact you again. I also won’t tell any possible mutual acquaintances about your career, which I have the utmost respect for.’ And he should abide by her decision and stick to those promises.”

Even if your ex doesn’t feel comfortable booking a session with you, she might be able to refer you to a colleague in the area. The more consideration and tact you demonstrate when you contact your ex, the more likely she is to refer you to a trusted friend.

DEAR DAN: I’m a 36-year-old woman who has been dating a 46-year-old man exclusively for over a year. We are planning on moving in together soon and, if all goes well, marriage. We don’t want to have children at the moment, but we might change our minds. I love him so much, but I don’t

Send love the choice he made 10 years ago to become a sperm donor. If we do have children, I don’t like the idea of my child having up to a hundred half siblings. The bank said he was very popular. Sometimes these kids reach out because they want a relationship or money. I feel like if we did end up having children, my child would be less special. I feel a lot of grief over a decision he made that so profoundly affects my life. This is the best relationship I’ve ever been in, but I don’t know if I should end it because of his past.

— Debate Over Nixing Otherwise Reliable Suitor

DEAR DONORS: I think you’re being ridiculous. You don’t even know if you want kids — you don’t even know if you wanna marry this man — and you’re having an existential crisis about children you aren’t sure you want feeling less special because the man you aren’t sure you’re going to marry might have a few biological kids out there already. Kids with siblings — full or half, donor or direct deposit — aren’t any less special than kids without siblings. And if you don’t agree with that statement and/or don’t think you can get there with the help of a good therapist, please don’t have kids you aren’t sure you want with this man you aren’t sure you wanna marry.

If you can’t see yourself being a loving and supportive partner when one of his biological kids tracks him down, you shouldn’t marry this guy. If he’s as lovely as you say he is, he deserves better.