Old Guys Loan Forgiveness

from Prime December 2022

Lifelong Learning

By Jim Drummond

The old guy waterhole this week was eventually called to order, and the fellows were taking turns updating the group on local scuttlebutt. One of the gents was reading the Chronicle and barely listening to the banter. Suddenly, he perked up while scanning a third-page article.

As he finished reading, the chap loudly caught everyone’s attention, saying, “Listen up, the government is expanding the loan forgiveness program. They’re adding a plan for old guys. The article says that if we qualify, we can have our borrowings canceled.” Somebody asked, “What kind of loans can be nullified?” The reader visually scrolled up the story, then recited, “Any old guy who has borrowed a lawn mower, weed eater, shovel, pipe wrench, power tool or pair of pliers is eligible. If the tool was borrowed from a relative, friend or a neighbor, it doesn’t have to be returned. If the borrowed item is a utility trailer, rototiller, weed sprayer, chainsaw or a boat, it must have been kept for at least a year before forgiveness is granted. There are some special provisions for borrowed fishing, hunting and camping gear. It’s called the Tool Loan Forgiveness Plan.” Somebody down the table appeared rather troubled, then commented, “That doesn’t seem fair to a young person who loaned an older neighbor a ladder or circular saw. The fellow who lent the tools won’t be able to work on his own projects. I believe in returning the tools that I borrow, and when I loan somebody a tool I expect to get it back!” The gent with the newspaper raised it in the air, then pointed at the story, “Not anymore! Tool loan forgiveness will level the playing field between those who have tools, and those who don’t.” Somebody down the table cheerfully commented, “I’ve amassed more borrowed equipment than I can ever give back. More and more tools accumulate in my garage each year, and I’ve lost track of who owns them. I realize that I’m in over my head, and I’ve had sleepless nights worrying about how I’m going to get everything returned. A borrowed tool forgiveness program is just what I need.”

Jim Drummond is a retired banker and Bozeman native.

One of the old guys looked at his friend across the table, “I loaned you my wheelbarrow last year and you haven’t brought it back. Do you get to keep it?” With a sinister grin, the gent across the table replied, “It appears that it’s mine now. I suppose that I can loan it to you occasionally, but I’ll want it returned.” The first fellow responded, “I wonder if there will be another Tool Loan Forgiveness Plan next year? If I borrow back my wheelbarrow, I might be able to re-acquire the title. How are we going to track the rightful owner of all the tools?” The chap with the newspaper interjected, “The news article says that a government team is drafting regulations for borrowed tools. They expect that administrative forms will be available sometime next year. The government group is confident that the new rules will be easy to understand and simplify the tool loan forgiveness process.” The gent in current possession of the wheelbarrow commented, “I’ve come to rely upon my borrowed wheelbarrow. And, since there could be another Tool Loan Forgiveness Plan next year, I don’t think that I’ll loan anything to anybody. Why would any astute person loan a tool knowing that it might never be returned? I suspect that it’s going to become much more difficult to borrow tools.” An old guy down the table had been silent, but finally offered his thoughts. “I believe that all the problems are due to the skyrocketing price of tools. Have you noticed how much a hammer costs these days? Until somebody gets tool costs under control, nobody will be able to afford their own. No wonder that old guys have to borrow for a project.” Somebody responded, “The price of a hammer shouldn’t make any difference.” The gent looked confused, then asked,”Why is that?” The first fellow replied, “Any tool can be used as a hammer.” “For“For months months II waswas inin so so muchmuch pain pain II couldn’tcouldn’t move.move. One One weekweek afterafter mymy backback surgerysurgery II waswas backback toto livingliving mymy lifelife likelike nothing nothing had had happened.”happened.” -Melissa -Melissa