10 / NOVEMBER 2021 PRIME
Old Guys and Elk By Jim Drummond
T
his week a couple of the fellows at the old guy waterhole were whispering to each other while ignoring the rest of us. Someone finally asked if they were going to admit anyone else inside their private conversation. One of the fellows responded defensively, “Big game season is in full swing and we’re finalizing secret plans for a week at our hidden hunting camp.” Another gent queried, “What are you going to be hunting?” One of the old hunters
emphatically replied, “Elk! You shouldn’t even ask that question!” Several of the other old guys rolled their eyes. Finally someone commented, “Both of you know that you’re never going to score an elk. I’ve rarely met an elk hunter who actually tags one. Most hunters never even see one.” The older of the two hunters responded, “We know that, but I get to buy a new pickup.” “What does elk hunting have to do with a new pickup,” someone asked. The first fellow responded,
“I told my wife that I want a new pickup. She told me that I couldn’t have one. I responded that I’m going elk hunting. I asked if she will be comfortable knowing that I’m high in the mountains, in blizzards and snow drifts, with limited food and medical supplies, and in an old pickup that might break down and leave me stranded until spring. She gave it some thought and finally demanded that I buy a new pickup. If I don’t go elk hunting, I’ll be driving my old pickup until hunting season next year.”
Someone else asked him, “What are you going to do if you actually bag an elk? That could really foul up a new pickup.” The hunter responded, “I’m never going to take an elk. I don’t even load my rifle. I just carry it over my shoulder as I walk through the woods. It provides a sense of connection to my ancestors. I really enjoy the sound of snow crunching under the soles of my hunting boots, and the fragrance of frosted pines. It’s also good exercise.” Another gent asked, “Don’t you miss the comforts of home when
