Old Guy Matters of Principle

By Jim Drummond

The old guy waterhole was well underway when one of our group rushed in the door. He commented to all of us, “Sorry I’m late fellows, and I can’t stay long.” Everyone looked at him inquiringly, then somebody asked, “What’s the rush?” The old fellow responded, “I had to sneak out to get here today. When I was getting ready to leave, my wife said that I couldn’t go anywhere until I fi x her blender that’s sitting on the garage workbench. I told her I would fi x it when I got home from the waterhole, but she said that I’ve been promising all week and I couldn’t leave until the job is done. So I went in the garage, locked the door, turned a radio on, and climbed out the window.” Someone asked, “Why didn’t you just fi x the blender instead of sneaking out? It would probably only take a few minutes.” The fi rst fellow responded, “It’s a matter of principle.” Another of the old guys at the waterhole remarked, “I had to sneak out once last year. My wife said that her mother was coming to drop off some jam and I needed to be here. I asked if I could stay home but work in the garage. She said fi ne, just as long as her mother didn’t think I was avoiding her. I went in the garage, opened the window, and started to climb through but got stuck. I sucked in my stomach, and started to wiggle, then suddenly popped out the other side like a champagne cork. I landed on my head in the fl ower bed. When I hit the ground I heard a crunch, and my shoulder felt strange. You gents probably remember when I tore my rotator cuff last year.” Somebody responded, “That must have been when you were in a sling for a month. I thought you hurt your shoulder lifting a table saw?” “That’s only what I told her,” the fi rst fellow responded. Somebody else asked, “Why didn’t you just stay home and visit with your mother in law?” “It was a matter of principle,” was the response.