Late Laughs

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert

Obviously, this convention is being held to nominate Kamala Harris, but tonight [Aug. 19] was Biden Appreciation Night. ... The [Joe] Biden tributes started before prime time with delegates receiving a gift bag that included “Cup of Joe” coffee. A much nicer gift than when [Lyndon B. Johnson] dropped out in ‘68 and gave those Chicago delegates a big “Bag of Johnsons.”

Vermont Senator, and technically not Democrat, Bernie Sanders delivered a message to the billionaire class. ... [As Bernie Sanders] I’ve got some bad news for them. I came to sip soup and tax billionaires, and I’m all out of soup! ... Here’s the thing. Oligarchs, meet my two friends for Vermont, Ben and Jerry [Holds up his fists].

And I’m giving out free scoops!

Then it was time for former President Bill Clinton, who apparently ... made some last-minute changes to his remarks. According to an aide, after watching Night 1

[Aug. 19], he ripped up the draft of his speech he had been working on and decided he needed to start anew with a more fun, youthful approach. That’s cool. Although, a “youthful approach” is also what got him in trouble back in the 1990s.

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