Late Laughs

Conan

Yesterday, President Obama arrived in Cuba, a formerly hostile territory. Tomorrow, he returns to Washington, a currently hostile territory.

Yesterday, when President Obama arrived in Cuba, a band played both the American and Cuban national anthems. Then, just because it felt right, a baseball game broke out.

The Tonight Show With Jimmy Fallon

Sarah Palin just signed a deal to act as a judge on a new reality court TV show. Sarah said she just wants to get a little legal experience before Trump nominates her to the Supreme Court.

Chipotle is still trying to bring back customers, and now they’ve even launched an online game where you compete for free food called “Guac Hunter.” And then you get to play an offline game called “Bathroom Hunter.” There are no winners.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

My favorite part of watching Bernie [Sanders] in the debates is how he’s always got his finger up like he’s trying to flag down a waiter for the check.

Donald Trump was behind in the polls in Utah. Utah is not particularly friendly territory for Donald Trump because most of the voters there are sober.

Videoreleases

The Revenant

Solution on page 10.

When a group of Arikara Native Americans attacks a crew of fur trappers in the American frontier, Capt. Henry (Gleeson) orders the survivors to retreat down river in their boat. Their guide, an experienced outdoorsman named Hugh Glass (DiCaprio), recommends that they abandon the boat and set out for their fort on foot to try to evade another attack. But when he’s mauled by a massive bear, Glass hovers on the edge of death, and fellow trapper John Fitzgerald (Hardy) argues for ending his life and moving on without him, something that Henry refuses to do. With the Arikara convinced that the trappers have kidnapped the chief’s daughter, Henry ultimately relents, leaving Glass and Fitzgerald, and setting off a chain of events that will almost certainly end in death. Director:AlejandroGonzálezIñárritu.Stars:LeonardoDiCaprio,Tom Hardy,DomhnallGleeson,Will Poulter,ForrestGoodluck.2015. 156min.Adventure.