Mirror, Mirror

BY MICHELLE OIE

50. A good number if we’re talking miles per gallon. Perhaps not so great if we’re talking birthdays.

At 50 I don’t particularly enjoy taking selfies or seeing my reflection in the evening window much less a mirror. In early 2022 I lost my hair from having COVID. After 15 months of growth to my shoulders, half of it fell out again from who knows what. Now I see new gray hair shouting for attention as my dark, natural color pushes the fake blonde out of sight. Left unattended my naturally curly hair is as unruly as 5-year-olds chasing cats with water toys. I can’t say my goal was to have three different colors at two different lengths but heck, maybe I’ll start a trend.

As I continue my reflection inspection, I see faithful eyebrows that aren’t sure why I’m thinking about shaping them after all this time. I move on. I decide if my eyelids get any puffier I won’t ever see my eyelashes again. The bonus there is that my eyeliner now doubles as eyeshadow. I see pink remains of once treated precancerous skin and a nose piercing trying hard to convince me I’m not that old.

I continue inspecting and ponder, “Why do nose hairs want to be seen so badly? Don’t they understand their role on the face and the purpose of their placement? Hmmm... teeth could be whiter. Will the wild turkeys accept me into their flock if my under chin skin gets any looser?”

As I sigh there’s one thing I know for sure, there will be no songs written about how good I look in the morning. I soon realize this critical voice is not being very nice so I counter with, “Michelle, you’re not 20, you’re 50!” Then the wise words of my father-in-law come to mind, “Don’t worry. It’ll get worse.”

Why do I do this? Why am I so critical of my looks? We know society’s idea of beauty because we’ve been force fed it all our lives. We’re told if we resemble society’s idea of beauty we’d be wanted, romanced, loved and live happily ever after. We seem to be in a never-ending search to achieve ultimate beauty, constantly taking inventory of how we fit in and measure up to others. Been there. Done that.

“Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.” - Mark Twain So let me ask you, “Do you love your body?”

Know Your Body

Learn how your body works. What can and can’t it do? Learn how it reacts to certain foods. Sometimes this is a crash course. How does it react to life events like injury, stress or age? Do you need eight eight hours of sleep at night? Are you sensitive to heat? What happens if you don’t drink enough water? How does your body talk to you? How well do you know your body’s language?

Learn how your body talks to you, then be sure to listen. Ignoring it could have a very bad end result. Knowing when and why your body’s engine light comes on will help keep you healthy and happy.

Appreciate Your Body

Once you know your body a little bit better you can start appreciating it. Think about all your body has done for you: it might have birthed children or earned you a living. It got you to where you are right now. Look at your hands. Think about the gifts they’ve wrapped, meals they’ve prepared, babies they’ve held and the people they’ve hugged. Maybe they have written numerous letters or applied a few Band-Aids. Now look at your feet. Think about all the places they’ve brought you, the cars they’ve driven and all the things they’ve kicked or climbed. Your internal organs work especially hard for you. Think about all the diseases they’ve destroyed, the food they’ve processed to give you energy and the cells they’ve replenished. Your heart beats constantly to keep you alive.

Do you appreciate all your body does for you? A positive self-image keeps you happy and healthy. Self-loathing creates sadness. Your body is a miraculous machine. It does what it does so you can do what you do. Even if it doesn’t work perfectly, appreciate all it has done and still does for you.

Respect Your Body

When you know and appreciate your body, you begin to respect it. Respecting your body means taking care of it. If I never changed the oil, rotated the tires or brought my car in when the check engine light came on, how long would it last? Not very long. Feed your body good fuel, take it for a walk and talk nicely to it. Is that easy to do? Not always, no. It takes time, thought and planning but this is the only body we get. You might have to teach yourself new things about food. You might have to break old habits or learn to take deep breaths. Make the effort to do good things for it and not damage it. Be nice to your body and the likelihood is good that it will be nice to you (hopefully).

Accept Your Body

Once you respect your body, you are more likely to accept it. Have you heard the saying, “You would never let someone talk to you the way you talk to yourself”? We can be our own worst critic. Be honest. What do you really see when you look in the mirror? I bet your first thought isn’t, “MAGNIFICENT! What a work of art!” Why can’t that be our reaction? Why can’t we celebrate our physical differences and be okay with what we see and who we are? I challenge you to look in the mirror and see what makes you unique and accept it.

Trust Yourself

Once you know, appreciate, respect and accept your body, you know yourself pretty well. But do you trust yourself? Do you trust yourself to go for the walk you had planned today? Do you trust yourself to stop counting calories because you have the knowledge to maintain your weight? Will you reach your goal of drinking enough water today? If you don’t know how to take care of yourself, take some steps to learn how. Break old habits. Practice positive self-talk like, “I am worth it.” The more often you do what you say you will do, the more you will trust yourself.

Please realize how fantastic you are. You have gained so much strength and wisdom over a lifetime of accomplishments. You are amazingly beautiful to so many people in this world. There are things only you can do because you are uniquely gifted. So the next time you look at that person in the mirror, be kind and forgiving. She’s been through a lot and she needs you to be her friend.

Michelle Oie is a Finding Purpose coach, inspirational speaker, writer and soonto-be author. Her passion is helping people find their unique life purpose. She loves Jeep Wranglers, peanut butter and hitting all green lights driving through Brainerd. Take The Happiness Quiz and learn more at www.michelleoie.com.