Late Laughs

Conan: Conan O’Brien

Over the weekend, George Clooney got married in Italy. His bachelor party was held over the course of the last 30 years. That’s how I lost my voice, I was outside screaming, “Don’t do it!”

Microsoft has announced it will open its first flagship store in Manhattan. It’s expected to be just like the Apple Store, but without all those pesky lines in front.

It was revealed today that the White House fence-jumper got deeper inside the building than previously reported. In fact, for 20 minutes, he was acting secretary of commerce. I think he signed like three pieces of legislation. When asked for comment, Joe Biden said, “He made it much further than I’ve ever gotten.”

George Clooney says that marriage “feels pretty damn great.” To which every married guy replied: “Dude, it’s been four days. Give it time, George.”

People are wondering why Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were not at George Clooney’s wedding. Pitt and Jolie issued a statement saying: “We’re sorry, we couldn’t find 18 babysitters.”

Secret Service director Julia Pierson says agents are allowed to use “lethal force” to stop someone from entering the White House. Unfortunately, this may cut down on the number of trickor-treaters at the White House this year.

Now it’s come out that the Secret Service let an armed ex-convict ride on the same elevator as President Obama.

Solution on page 11.

By Andrew Warren TV Media

Confession time: I love Halloween. It’s the one time of the year when we adults can really let loose and get in touch with our inner children. We get to gorge ourselves on candy and sweets — although maybe not quite as much as we once did. We can get all messy and creative as we tug out the slimy innards of pumpkins and then carve them up into scary faces or spooky scenes. Heck, we even get to play dress-up if we want to!

I think the best part of Halloween is that it only comes once a year. If we got to do all those fun things year-round, they just wouldn’t be special — plus all that candy is most definitely not what the doctor ordered for lunch.

It’s that once-a-year business that keeps the Food Network’s “Halloween Wars” feeling so fresh. This may be its fourth season, but with only four episodes each year, the show doesn’t get stale.

Sunday nights throughout October, we’ve been watching as five teams of Halloween pros got whittled down one by one, and now we’ve finally reached the big night. With only the top two teams remaining for the Sunday, Oct. 26, fi- nale and a $50,000 “treat” up for grabs, you can bet that the remaining competitors will be pulling out any last tricks they may have up their sleeves on “Halloween Wars” airing on Food Network.

Even if you’ve missed the past three episodes, it’s really not too tricky to catch on if you’re only tuning in for the finale. Each team — the competition started with five — consists of three members: an expert pumpkin carver, a sugar artist and a cake decorator. At the beginning of each episode, the teams are given a theme, and then they have to craft the most elaborate, most decadent and most sweetly deli- cious Halloween-themed display they can pull off.

And what’s the theme for this final episode, the one that will earn one team a bucket of sweet, sweet cash and send the other home shivering in terror? “Haunted Carnival” will be their final challenge, and with themes like “Mummies vs. Werewolves” and “Don’t Go Into the Forest” behind them, they’ll have to come up with something original to craft out of sweets and jack-o-lanterns.

Much like the day it’s named after, “Halloween Wars” comes but once a year — although with four episodes it does last a little bit longer. Even if you haven’t been following along, the finale promises to be a sweet finish to another year’s fun. Don’t miss it, Sunday, Oct. 26, on Food Network.

Sunday, Oct. 26

9:30 a.m. (23) WUCW Mad Dogg and Merrill’s Midwestern Grill’n

1:00 p.m. (9) KAWE New Scandinavian Cooking

1:30 p.m. (9) KAWE Lidia’s Kitchen 4:00 p.m. (2) KTCA Joy Bauer’s Food Remedies

4:30 p.m. (9) KAWE B Organic With Michele Beschen

Monday,

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