4 minute read
Sudoku
immigrant doing the job of a white guy and getting paid 900% less.
month, that’s just what every man in the Hamptons looks like.
Sudoku
Late Laughs
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
Late
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
You’ve got to hand it to [Donald] Trump, though. He has endless scandals for six years and he always manages to keep them feeling fresh and new. Yeah, the action never stops. It’s like if Discovery ran “Shark Week” 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
marked ‘top secret.’ ... You know Trump just kept those hoping to come across KFC’s secret blend of 11 herbs and spices.
Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. Solution below and contact tracing. Now they’re replacing them with some new COVID guidelines. First of all, all hand sanitizer is now illegal. Next, if you have to sneeze, make sure it’s into a stranger’s open mouth. Next up, you can lick anything now! Go ahead, lick the floor!
Here in Southern California we’re in the middle of a massive drought, and local officials have been sending letters to residents who are using too much water, including some very notable names. ... The Kardashians, Dwayne Wade, Sylvester Stallone and Kevin Hart are among the 2,000-plus customers warned for excessive water usage. Now, before you grab all your pitchforks, just have a little compassion for these poor celebrities, all right? Do you guys even know how immigrant doing the job of a white guy and getting paid 900% less.
Here in Southern California we’re in the middle of a massive drought, and local officials have been sending letters to residents who are using too much water, including some very notable names. ... The Kardashians, Dwayne Wade, much water it takes to wash a private jet? month, that’s just what every man in the Hamptons looks like.
The CDC this week [Aug. 4] is reportedly expected to ease its coronavirus guidance recommendations. Though I don’t know how it could be any more eased. Nobody’s wearing masks. The restaurants are full. Do they want us to kiss the waiter before we order?
The CDC this week [Aug. 4] is reportedly expected to ease its coronavirus guidance recommendations. Though I don’t know how it could be any more eased. Nobody’s wearing masks. The restaurants are full. Do
The discount department store corporation that operates T.J. Maxx, Marshall’s and HomeGoods recently agreed to a $13-million fine for selling recalled infant sleeper products. OK, I knew this [electrified crib] felt unsafe.
The Late Late Show with James Cordon
Over the weekend [Aug. 8], we found out that the FBI seized 11 sets of classified documents from Trump’s home, including four sets
You’ve got to hand it to [Donald] Trump, though. He has endless scandals for six years and he always manages to keep them feeling fresh and new. Yeah, the action never stops. It’s like if Discovery ran “Shark Week” 24 hours a day, 365
Just a thought, but if the government doesn’t want people reading [top secret] files, maybe they shouldn’t label them ‘top secret.’ It’s like a guy labelling a porn folder on his computer ‘best porn.’ It’s like, just call it ‘banana bread recipe.’ marked ‘top secret.’ ... You know Trump just kept those hoping to come across KFC’s secret blend of 11 herbs and spices.
This is big: The CDC has ended most of its restrictions for quarantining
Just a thought, but if the government doesn’t want people reading [top secret] files, maybe they shouldn’t label them ‘top secret.’ It’s like a guy labelling a porn
Jimmy Kimmel Live! With Simu Liu
and contact tracing. Now they’re replacing them with some new COVID guidelines. First of all, all hand sanitizer is now illegal. Next, if you have to sneeze, make sure it’s into a stranger’s open mouth. Next up, you can lick anything now! Go ahead, lick the floor!
Now this is a historic night for the show, because I am the first Jimmy Kimmel guest host who actually has never met Jimmy Kimmel. That’s not a joke. This is actually my third time on the show and I never met the guy! ... But this is not unfamiliar territory for people like me. It’s just another story of an
Jimmy Kimmel Live! With Simu Liu
Now this is a historic night for the show, because I am the first Jimmy Kimmel guest host who actually has never much water it takes to wash a private jet?
Donald Trump is getting his portrait put up in the Smithsonian, and Trump’s political action committee has paid $650,000 to commission paintings of the former first couple, which is a lot of money. I mean, for $650,000 Joe Biden could forgive 32 student loans and Donald Trump could buy the silence of three porn stars.
Donald Trump is getting his portrait put up in the Smithsonian, and Trump’s political action committee has paid $650,000 to commission paintings of the former first couple, which is a lot of money. I mean, for $650,000 Joe Biden could forgive 32 student loans and Donald Trump could buy the silence of three porn stars.
Late Night With Seth Meyers
Former vice-president Mike Pence is expected to hold a fundraiser later this month [August] in the Hamptons. So, if you think you bumped into Mike Pence in the Hamptons this
Late Night With Seth Meyers
products. OK, I knew this [electrified crib] felt unsafe.
The Late Late Show with James Cordon
Earlier tonight [Sept. 2] President Biden delivered a prime-time speech outside Independence Hall in Philadelphia. ... The purpose of the speech was to talk about the “Soul of the nation.” ...”The Soul of the Nation.” It sounds like the title of every book for sale at an airport newsstand.
Earlier tonight [Sept. 2] President Biden delivered a prime-time speech outside Independence Hall in Philadelphia. ... The purpose of the speech was to talk about the “Soul of the nation.” ...”The Soul of the Nation.” It sounds like the title of every book for sale at an airport newsstand.
The Obamas are coming back to the White House next week and then I don’t know, maybe just let the Obamas hang out for a little while.