Home is where the Pokes are.

That has been clear for Joey Graham since his legendary Oklahoma State basketball career ended in 2005. And after a rewarding stint playing professional hoops, he is back in town.

Stillwater will always have a special spot in Graham’s heart. It was in the vibrant, homey college town where he met and fell in love with his wife, Trisha Skibbe, who was a standout player for the Cowgirl basketball team when they met in 2003. Stillwater is also where Graham became etched into the lore of OSU athletics, playing a central role in two of the most successful teams in Cowboy basketball history.

A relatable guy with steadfast confidence and the game to back it up, Graham is a heralded figure at OSU. But in his first season as the assistant coach for the Stillwater High School boys’ basketball team, his popularity looks set to expand deeper into the Stillwater community.

Graham has a passion for mentoring and instilling in young athletes the right values and work ethic it takes to be leaders in life. He credits God for blessing him with a multitude of experiences to share, as well as a desire to teach young players the ins and outs of basketball.

He also praises Eddie Sutton, another Cowboy legend who coached him for two seasons (plus a redshirt year), for instilling in him a deeper passion for life and for the sport he loves.

“Coach Sutton was a Hall of Fame coach as we all know, even though he didn’t get the just due credit for it,” Graham said. “He taught me a great work ethic and resilience because Eddie was a no-nonsense kind of coach. If you messed up you would get one more opportunity to correct it, and if not, you’re done.”

These lessons on integrity showed Graham that he had to be persistent with the gifts and talents he had or he risked losing focus and missing out on special opportunities.

The journey to playing under Sutton wasn’t the most conventional for Graham but ended up being beneficial. His dad, Joseph, was a Navy pilot, so along with his twin brother Stephen, older brother Brian, and mother Rose, he moved several times during his childhood.

They eventually settled in Florida, where Graham was introduced to the game. He first played competitive basketball in eighth grade and continued to play as a freshman at Land O’ Lakes High School, having competed in football, soccer and track before moving to the hardwood. When he first started playing, Graham hadn’t finished growing.

After spending his freshman season at Land O’ Lakes, he then transferred to Brandon High School, where he had a growth spurt that wound up being critical for his development.

“I was short,” Graham said. “My eighth grade year I was like 5’3” or 5’4” … I probably got to 5’6” my freshman year in high school.”

Graham said he kept growing, and between his junior and senior years he grew six inches to get to 6’6” and finally two more to finish out at 6-foot-8. It helped him become a force at the prep level, and he received offers from several high-profile Division 1 schools.

As he debated where to commit during the recruiting process, there were a few factors to consider. One happened to be his mom’s wish to have both he and Stephen play at the same school, and though they both didn’t feel strongly about playing together in college, they wanted to support their mom’s wishes.

“Even though we were twins, we never really acted like twins. We said, ‘But if one of us comes, we both come,’” Graham said.

They wound up picking the University of Central Florida, but after playing at the midmajor level for two seasons, he and Stephen were ready for a new and exciting challenge. At the time, and still to this day, the Big 12 was in the upper echelon for basketball competition, with OSU consistently competing for the conference crown. That success is what appealed to Graham: the opportunity to have his talents tested against other NBA caliber opponents.

“ Ted Owens , at the time when I was growing up, was the athletic director at St. Leo University. We used to sneak into the gym when the lights were out, and he would come in there and watch us shoot.”

Owens, the head coach at Kansas for 19 seasons, mentored Graham and showed him some of the fundamentals of the sport. As they went separate ways, they stayed in touch, and when Graham decided to transfer from UCF he reached out to Owens for help.

“He was from Tulsa so he knew Eddie, he knew Coach (Roy) Williams , who was at Kansas at the time,” Graham said. “So we called him up and we said, ‘Hey, Coach, we’re looking to transfer, do you know any teams in the nation that we can go to?’”

Owens’ first call was to Sutton, and after a workout and a conversation with Sutton, the Graham brothers had a new home.

Prohibited from playing right away due to the NCAA’s transfer policy, Graham couldn’t compete during the 2002-03 season but had the chance to practice and prepare for the intensity and the expectations that come with being a Cowboy. There was definitely a learning curve that came with playing under the College Basketball Hall of Fame coach, with every practice a test of mental fortitude. Each time he took the court exposed him to lessons in determination that could only come under Sutton.

“You can’t go into an organization or a university playing mediocre ball,” Graham said. “He’s not going to bring in mediocre players. So I had to learn to be tough, I had to learn to be resilient, and I had to learn to be persistent about this game that I love. Those were a few of the things Eddie taught me.

“If you were an A-minus player he brought you up to an A-plus-plus player just on work ethic and playing hard.”

Once that season of sitting out was finished, Graham said he was eager to suit up as a Cowboy. Alongside several other standout players, the 2003-04 campaign saw OSU win the Big 12 regular-season and tournament championships with a staggering 31-4 record and ended with the team’s most recent trip to the Final Four.

There were too many incredible memories of that season for Graham to only choose one, but he said the talent within that squad and the attitude that they were going to outwork everyone helped them go far.

The two seasons Graham was eligible to play at OSU helped boost his stock and propelled him into the first round of the 2005 NBA draft as the 16th pick, selected by the Toronto Raptors. His versatility as an athletic wing player who played the role of a shutdown defender made him a valuable commodity for nine seasons in the pros. Graham said spending so much time playing the game that he loves and building lasting friendships with teammates was incredible.

“Those guys that you’re on the team with, you see them every day for a full season,” Graham said. “A lot of them you build a tight relationship with. All the guys in the league, you have a brotherhood with most of them.”

Playing in the NBA is a rare opportunity, and Graham said having that in common with only a select number of people leads to a feeling of camaraderie.

“There’s only 400-500 players, so when you see them in the airport or in a different city you always kind of say hello to each other because you have that one thing in common,” he said. “You’re playing in a prestigious kind of fraternity.”

As those nine seasons came and went, Graham’s focus shifted to settling down and starting a family. Since their time at OSU, Graham and Skibbe had dated off and on during the subsequent 15 or so years, but never had time to truly settle down as both had playing careers that took them across the world. They would visit each other in the summers, though, when Skibbe would come back from playing in Greece. They eventually got married in 2016 after both had retired from the sport.

Trisha said her relationship with Graham worked well because they could relate to each other in balancing basketball, school and life.

“We understood what each other was going through because we were always at practice or going to study hall or in the weight room or on buses or planes,” she said.

The couple have three children now: Kingston, 6; Taylyn, 5; Trinity, 2; and Graham said they’re his world. That’s why it was important to him and his wife to find a great place to raise them with quality education and great people.

“Stillwater is a really good place to raise a family,” Trisha said. “Neither of us wanted to raise our kids in a big city. We wanted the midwest feel, the home town, smaller community. I think that’s what happens when you have kids. You really base your decisions around what’s better for them.”

Although he was blessed with the chance to play basketball for a living, Graham soon recognized there were opportunities for him to give back a little.

For many of the kids Graham coaches, there is an air of respect in listening to a guy who played nine years of pro ball, against the likes of LeBron James , Dwyane Wade and Kobe Bryant , but they don’t necessarily grasp the significance of him returning to town.

High school players were too young to remember when he threw down a jam against Memphis in the 2004 NCAA tournament, the same season he won Big 12 Newcomer of the Year. Thankfully there’s YouTube for everyone to look back on moments like his baseline drive and posterizing finish over Hall of Fame center Alonzo Mourning , but it still doesn't have the same impact of witnessing those moments first hand.

Nevertheless, Graham has made an impact on some of the players at Stillwater High School.

“He’s helped me a lot in my post work and being more physical,” said one Pioneer. “He knows what he’s doing. He’s been there, he’s done everything. He wants to talk more, and he wants to communicate more. If you don’t know what you’re doing, he wants to talk and figure things out.”

Graham isn’t a stranger to coaching. During his time in the NBA, he and Stephen set up their own training program in Florida – Graham’s Shooting Stars – in which they would host camps during the offseason. The Grahams would teach some of the skills and drills they had developed or learned to kids in small groups or in private training sessions.

“All the knowledge, all the skills, all the training that we did and worked on to get to the position that I was in being a successful basketball player, I pass it on to them,” Graham said. “Hopefully they absorb something that you say or do or see and go out and become the best human beings and basketball players they can be.”

Trisha said she believes her husband will be a fantastic coach because he has the patience to deal with the adolescents but is firm enough to keep them in line. She knows he is a competitor that won’t take it easy on the players until they reach their goals.

“I think he will have the patience to deal with the parents, which you have to deal with more at a high school level than you do at the college level,” she said.

Graham is now in the midst of his first season at Stillwater, and as it continues to unfold, spectators can start to see some of the things he has implemented truly take shape. It will be a learning process, but Graham is well-equipped with lessons from his past to make things happen.

“All the knowledge, all the skills, all the training that we did and worked on to get to the position that I was in being a successful basketball player, I pass it on to them.”

Plus, with his family firmly settled in a city of loving and welcoming people and where he made some of the best memories of his life, coaching and mentoring is his sole focus.

He’s back home.

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