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Why you shouldn’t feel weird about your early sexual experimentation

b!v_a #12 Why you shouldn’t feel weird about your early sex- ual experi- mentation

By Shauna Blackmon

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Spoiler: most of these experiences were not particularly unique and most of them were nowhere near as bad as people thought they were.

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“At night my mom would tuck me into bed with my big blue teddy bear and I would pull down my pants and just lie there with the teddy bear in my

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“He told us that something was coming out of the penis and we thought maybe they were peeing on each other. He also told us that sex was incredibly painful because of the faces that the people were making. No one could really grasp why you would want to do any of this, it all just seemed terrible. I didn’t want to pee on someone and I didn’t want it to hurt.“

I wanted them thicker, I would alternate wrapping toilet paper, tape, toilet paper, tape and so on around the outside of the roll. I also made the base of it wider so I never lost one. It was very obvious to me that you wanted a base on it. It just makes so much sense. It’s literally a sculpting activity, it’s like arts and crafts for dildos.”

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“I had one of the neighborhood boys over and we started playing Truth or Dare. It started normally enough but it moved into “I dare you to touch me here,” or “I dare you to do this with your mouth,” which eventually turned into, “I dare you to touch my penis with your mouth,” or “I dare you to touch my butt hole with your mouth.”

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