the littlest hipster’s
guid
t e b a h p l a e h t o t e
the littlest hipster’s
guid
t e b a h p l a e h t o t e
Aa
Although Anne’s apathy toward her job at the Apparel store was quite apparent, it was often mistaken for aloofness, which was awesome for Anne, as acting aloof is cool. Always.
A A is
for A
ppa
rel App
arel App
arel
Bb
The barrista blasted her blasphemous rants on her ‘beanthere_girl’ blog basically every spare break she had. With a bunch of blog followers waiting with baited breath, she felt she owed it to her beloved fans to spill the beans.
b
blogitup
welcome
:
today o
beanthe
re_girl
n the sc
ene...
so this is to everyon o funny, and I thin e when yo out there would k that u order a grand agree that without e moch whip at a a certa pretty m in temp uch , you
HipSter
Independent Coffee Co.
is for blog
Cc
Constantly called the first ‘counter-culture group codefined as a consumer group’, the Hipster condemns this closed-minded caption, claiming that defining a whole conglomerate is so cliche. BTW, cut-offs are a not a choice, but a compulsion.
C
umer group... cliche.. s n o c . is for
fs
c
of ut-
Dd
Often the only way to define a de facto Hipster is wether or not they deny the dogma. A scenester will accept and embrace the definition, a hipster will defiantly deny the disgraceful term even exists. Without a doubt.
D
is for denial...
p re
scri
pt
n io
e
ar s e ss e g la
es Th
I am not a hipster
Ee
Eyeglasses. Extensive, enormous, oversized, and evidently elderly.
e
is for eyeglasses
Ff
Fixed gears are the foremost accepted form of transportation amoung Hipsters. They are the finest and fastest mode of freightage in and around the city. FYI: owning four or five fixies makes you far more hip than the rest.
F
is for fixed gear
ride on.
Gg
Guys and girls, gather near for a grand secret in Hipster fashion... Grandma’s closet is the greatest place to get the goods for your gams. So get over to Grans and graciously accept her graham crackers and ginger tea while you garner some genuinely generative gems.
G
is for
Grandma’s Closet
Hh
Hipster. Is there anything else? Heck no.
H
is for hipster
Ii
Ironically, individuality is an idea influenced by the media by whom they are imprisoned for their important involvement in the intensely competitive fashion industry.
i
is for individuality.
Jj
James is the typical Hipster who can justifiably be mistaken for Jesus. While his friends may josh him for the choice, they don’t judge or ask for justification for such a juxtaposition. James is just an unobjectionable guy with a penchant for the divine.
j
is for S U S E J
Kk
Don’t get your knickers in a knot... The keffiyeh is the kosher accessory for the run-of-the-mill Hipster. It’s the new kerchief. So new it’s old.
k
is for keffiyeh... whatever that means...
let’s just call it a scarf.
Ll
LOL. Laughing out Loud or Lack of Laughter? You’ll never know, as the lukewarm Hipster is unlikely to make the distinction while their loose fingers list off initialisms like they are going out of style. LMAO.
L
is for lol.
lol
Mm
Perched above the mouth, where your lip meets your nose is the main measure of Hipster merit. The moustache... a mash of misunderstood man hair in all it’s majesty.
M m is for moustache.
IT. JUST GROW
Nn
Not to be nesseled in with the desaturated crowd, Neon never shys away from flanting its power, netting notable attention from the neighbouring eye.
is fo r on
ne
n
Oo
The optimum accessory, offspring bring an opportunity for the ordinary Hipster to become outstanding. They can pull-off outlandish outfits and often appear more sophisticated than their parent. Optimal names for the offspring are Olivia, Oscar, Ophelia and Otis. Okay?
O
offspring
Pp
Patterns are like parties, a plethora of options is always palatable. They are pretty and precious and pleasing when paired.
P
tter a p r is fo
n.
Why stop at one?
Question: what can you gulp, guzzle, swallow and swig? Hipsters answer that query with anything quaffable and every weekend.
Q
e e l l b b a a f f f f qquuaa
Rr
Raybans take up regular residence on the Hipster face. Don’t resist, it’s a reputation thing.
R is fo
n a b y r ra
Ss
Skeletons beware, Hipsters have snatched all of your specially-stitched skinny jeans and have sequestered them in a secret spot. Sneaky thiefs!
S
is for skinny jeans
Tt
Call it a toque, call it a beanie or stocking cap, whatever the title, this trend brings a tepid twist to even the most tropical temperature.
toque
T is for
Uu
They are ubiquitous, universal and seemingly unlimited in their numbers. Hipsters Unite!
u Independen
is for ubiquitous. is for ubiquitous. is for ubiquitous. is for ubiquitous. is for ubiquitous.
t Coffee Co
.
e Co.
Independent Coffe
recycle
Vv
Very necessary for any and every Hipster, the V-neck is a vendible that is bought it veracious volume.
V
is
for
v-neck v-neck v-neck v-neck
Ww
It’s wretchedly itchy and wickedly warm, yet Hipsters are always willing to wear wool.
W is for wool.
Xx
Java, mocha, brew, joe. The exchange is not a luxury but a ritual that leads to a climax. Hipsters sing the caffeine song in great and extraordinary exaltation.
X
is for e
xalted
Independent Coffee Co.
Yy
Yuppie Hipsters. Sure, others are younger, but never as stylish. And there are no others that yield so many fashion do’s. The yearlings silently yearn to one day be as hip as the Yuppie.
Y
is for
yuppie
Zz
On a scale of zero to zany, Hipsters have a certain amount of zeal that is not to be mistaken for zip or zest. It’s that ambiguous zomething or other that makes them too cool for school.
Z
is for zealous
the littlest hipster’s
guid
t e b a h p l a e h t o t e