Pick a nice cool sunny day, making sure it’s not too windy.
Find a field with plenty of space. In your first attempts you may have a close encounter with the ground, therefore it is wise to make sure the ground is fairly soft and clear of sticks, rocks, or dog poop.
P
Stretch and get loose.
Gear up.
Start trotting forward keeping your initial stance.
N Direct your attention away from the onlookers who may be saying things like “What does he think he’s doing” or “pfffft!” It is ever so important you continue to look forward.
a This way, that way...I have to be here, I have to be there! Always running in different directions... Well at least I’m going in one direction now.
SA
FE
YO
U’
RE
DO
IN
G
IT
NICE
Now that you have reached a comfortable speed for takeoff, You must now learn how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Take one last step, propel off your front foot.
Swing your arms into a surface dive position.
To successfully miss the ground, you must distract yourself from it in mid-air so you forget it exists completely. Think of your favorite book, a pristine landscape, or a maybe lobster dinner... unless you hate lobster.
i Again, direct your attention away from distractors. If not! You will fail to miss the ground very hard.
i At the peak of the leap, your body should be as close to parallel with the ground as possible.
If all goes well and you successfully distracted yourself, you are now hovering a few feet from the ground. Stretch your toes and hands, pointing them outward like a spear. Begin to picture waves under your lower torso begin to lift you upwards.
B Now that you are flying you will most likely be called a ghost, witch or a wizard.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have overcome gravity. You are now officially flying. Go above the clouds and fly with the birds. Kiddo! And remember whatever your gravity may be, never doubt that you can fly.
THE REWIND
THE REVOLUTION
THE DRILL
THE UNEXPECTED GUEST
THE PELICAN PLUNGE
THE END