Pulse 10.22 » May 30-June 5, 2013

May 30, 2013

Vol. 10 • No. 22

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

artists behind ink

the

the

conversationsaboutthe bodyas canvas

MUSIC deadstring brothers ARTS new dischord festival screen into darkness

The all-new Subaru XV Crosstrek.

Many to choose from. Drive away in yours today.

200 Manufacturers Road, Suite 103 Chattanooga, TN 37405 4 2 3 - 4 7 5 - 6 2 5 2 | w w w. b o u t i q u e b y k r. c o m follow us on

KELLY SUBARU

900 Riverfront Parkway • (423) 490-0181 • kellysubaru.com

Incline Summer of Fun Concert 2013 Schedule May 25-27 June 22 June 29 July 4-6 July 13 July 20 July 27 August 3 August 10 August 17 August 24 August 31 Sept 1-2

Musical Moose/Ogya Ogya Caterina Sellars Ogya/Rick Rushing & Blues Strangers Musical Moose Dana Rogers Ogya Ogya Rick Rushing/ Caterina Sellars Ogya John Ralston/Kathy Veazey/Dana Rogers Ogya/Lumbar 5 Ogya/Lumbar 5

Music Performed 10 AM - 5 PM 2 • The Pulse • May 30—june 5, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

THIS WEEK may 30-june 5 IN THE PULSE EDITORIAL

Editor Mike McJunkin Assistant Editors Janis Hashe • Gary Poole Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • Zachary Cooper Tara Viland • John DeVore • Janis Hashe Matt Jones • Mike McJunkin • Ernie Paik Gary Poole • Alex Teach • Richard Winham Photographers Kim Hunter • Josh Lang Cover Photo Derrick Walters - Redneck Paparazzi Interns Katey Alegre • Keeli Monroe • Carson O'Shoney Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISING

lP Pau

Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Amy Allara • Chee Chee Brown Jessica Gray • Rick Leavell • Jerry Ware

CONTACT

Young

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II

ffrey & Je

THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2013 Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

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Offices 1305 Carter St.Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Websie chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

new dischord festival with rich bailey P14

chattanoogapulse.com • May 30—june 5, 2013 • The Pulse • 3

BOWL

THE

Chattanooga Whiskey

Prohibition Finally Over They came….they fought…and they won. By decree of the Tennessee General Assembly and with the official seal of Gov. Bill Haslam, Chattanooga Whiskey will henceforth be distilled in Chattanooga.

Up until this point, Chattanooga Whiskey has been made in Indiana, due to laws that date back to Prohibition. But no longer!

Chattanooga Whiskey is finally coming home to Chattanooga, bringing with it jobs, tax revenue—and a great whiskey. What better way to celebrate than by

chattanooga’s weekly alternative NEWS • COMMENTARY • BULLETINS & PUSH NOTIFICATIONS AT DIAL-UP SPEED facebook/chattanoogapulsE • TWITTER @CHATTAPULSE EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

hosting a huge party at the site of your future distillery? Oh, and by offering free tickets to that celebration, naturally.

At last count, Chattanooga Whiskey has received more than 3,000 RSVPs to the event. That’s a lot of whiskey fans in one place, all enjoying $4 Chattanooga Whiskey cocktails and food from local food trucks.

It’s all happening Friday, May 31 from 6:30-11:30 p.m. at the Chattanooga Whiskey Distillery, located downtown at 1400 Fort Street. Visit the Chattanooga Whiskey Facebook page for instructions on how to claim your free ticket, and get ready to party like it’s 1919. VIP tickets, which include a tour inside the future distillery, may also be purchased.

—Keeli Moore

© 2013 SketchCrowd, LLC / www.sketchcrowd.com

Jack’s Chattanoogins

Shaving Heads and Saving Lives Jack of Jack’s Chattanoggins is a determined eighth grader, and he’s helping give childhood cancer the ol’ one-two punch, one shaved head at a time. This goes beyond shaving your head to help comfort a loved one who has lost their hair from chemotherapy: Jack raises money doing this—a lot of money.

Here’s how it works: Sign up to become a Shavee, then get to work accruing pledges and donations from friends and family members eager to see you with a shaved head. Then it’s time to lose the locks at the Market. That’s it!

All proceeds go to the Children’s Hospital Foundation at Erlanger.

Jack is hoping to raise $40,000 this year, so if you’ve ever had the random urge to shave your head (and even if you haven’t), now is the perfect time.

Visit jackshaves.org to sign up or to make a donation. The next Shave will be Sunday, June 9 at the Chattanooga Market.

—K. M.

here and in the Caribbean, “so come out for beer, wine, snacks and possibly our Caribbean Wine Punch,” green|spaces says. While there, you can shop the gently used clothing (proceeds benefit the eco-efforts) and network with others interested in water quality issues.

For more information, visit greenspaceschattanooga.com —Staff

Greater Chatt Aspies

Connecting AS and HFA Adults

green drinks time

Where the Eco Chic Meet to Drink

LONNIE EASTERLING

4 • The Pulse • May 30—june 5, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

It’s time for another Green Drinks event at 5:30 p.m. May 30, “bringing together the ecochic, eco-freaks, and those just wanting an eco-peek over drinks in Chattanooga,” as sponsor green|spaces puts it. This time, they’ll be chatting at The Gear Closet, 535 Cherokee Blvd. on the Northshore. The Gear Closet store supports clean water efforts

When Scott Kramer started Greater Chattanooga Aspies (GCA) back in late 2010, one of his visions was to have an online regional community that would stretch out around Chattanooga from Birmingham to Knoxville, from Nashville to Atlanta, and all points between Chattanooga and those cities.

That vision is about to become a reality. GCA is a mixed regional community of parents, partners, spouses, and friends of young adults and adults who are diagnosed and self-diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (AS) or highfunctioning Autism (HFA). GCA

members live within a two-hour radius of Chattanooga.

The focus of this group is solely with young adults and adults who have AS/HFA. For those seeking info about children, Kramer will be glad to refer to the GCA Clearinghouse (where you can find information on AS/HFA) or to another organization that could better assist in that area.

Says Kramer, “I will consider any adult with AS or HFA living outside of the two-hour radius of Chattanooga on a case-bycase basis. GCA will not approve membership to anyone who is a professional in this field of study or a spectator. You must be an approved member to see and participate in our support and social group events.” The purpose of the group is to help provide support between members who may not have access to a support group locally, or who may be looking for an additional means of support.

The group will also give GCA members who meet in person at meetings an opportunity to meet other like-minded individuals regionally.

For more information about the Greater Chattanooga Aspies online group, including how to become a member, contact Kramer at gcaspies@gmail.com.

—Janis Hashe

POLITICS

by Janis Hashe

A League of Their Own Can the local League of Women Voters make a comeback?

D

id you know it was Tennessee, in 1920, which became the 36th state to ratify the 19th Amendment—thus becoming the tipping point for women’s right to vote? I didn’t, until I began to research the history of the League of Women Voters, which, not coincidentally, was chartered Feb. 14, 1920, a full six months and change before the amendment became federal law. Having waited so long, those ladies were not about to waste any more time Research shows that Chattanoogan women did not waste much time either. A document from the National Council of Jewish Women, reporting on its “Ninth Triennial Convention, 1920-1923,” links the activities of that organization with that of the League of Women Voters, stating “Chattanooga has assisted on having teachers’ salaries raised.”

It’s possible to find an ebook version of a 1935 publication of eight scrapbooks, appropriately titled “Chattanooga League of Women Voters Scrapbooks.”

The book “Tennessee Women: Their Lives and Times” devotes several pages to Martha Ragland, who became president of the local LWV chapter in 1941. The book notes under her leadership, the chapter took action on issues ranging from “public tuberculosis hospitals” and milk pasteurization to the TVA and “the need for a United Nations.”

In 1961, the local chapter published an 18-page pamphlet titled “Metro: A Study of the Metropolitan Problems of Hamilton County.”

And a state of Tennessee official document shows archived materials for the Chattanooga chapter up

through 1989. Even now, if you Google “League of Women Voters, Chattanooga,” some addresses come up, one as recent as 2007.

But the local chapter, clearly once so active, fell victim to declining membership and participation, according to its last past president Martha Butterfield, and the decision was reluctantly made to dissolve it. It’s been quite a few years since Chattanooga had an active chapter of the League.

That may soon change. A group of local women (including, in full disclosure, this writer) is moving to reinvigorate the League of Women Voters in Chattanooga, and a recent meeting, spearheaded by 2012 Congressional candidate Dr. Mary Headrick, pointed out some reasons why.

Asked, “What issues do you feel most passionate about?” attendees identified public education, (“including,” stated Butterfield, “qualifications for administrators and added emphasis on reading proficiency for all students at all levels”), voters’ rights, healthcare (including expansion of TennCare), workshops to help women run campaigns for public office, and having the local chapter sponsor actual candidate

debates, as opposed to the “forums” that have come to dominate Chattanooga politics.

This meeting reached “consensus” (a hallmark of the League of Women Voters process), that a chapter should be re-established, that it should be a Members-at-Large chapter until such time as membership increases merit applying to renew the ChattanoogaHamilton County chapter, and that efforts should be made to reach out to women voters of all political views—Democrat, Republican and independent.

The LWV’s position has been nonpartisan from its founding. It does not support or oppose candidates.

But it can and does take stands on many political issues after lengthy study and a time-consuming effort to reach consensus. Dr. Headrick noted that the national organization has recently taken a position against school vouchers, but that this was after extensive research proved to the membership’s satisfaction that vouchers have an adverse effect on the quality of public education, particularly in poorer districts and schools.

It remains to be seen if the good intentions expressed in the recent meet-

ing come to fruition. One suggestion for a first effort at reinvigoration was to sponsor a forum on public education; another was to

sponsor a “citizens’ academy,” as the Knoxville chapter has successfully done.

In the meantime, anyone wishing to be kept abreast

of future organizational meetings should contact Dr. Headrick at mary@ maryheadrick.com

chattanoogapulse.com • May 30—june 5, 2013 • The Pulse • 5

Pilgrim Congregational Church

(UCC )

Providing the

Chattanooga community with a liberal Christian tradition since 1914 Learn more about our mission and activities at pilgrim-church.com Sunday Worship 11am 400 Glenwood Drive at 3rd Street (423) 698-5682

6 • The Pulse • May 30—june 5, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

LIST

» pulse PICK of the litter

THE

pulse » PICKS

• A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers.

THU05.30 MUSIC Ghost Owl with AFRO • Perpetual Groove’s Adam Perry, Albert Suttle and Matthew McDonald with a very different kind of live show.

9:30 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

FRI05.31 COMEDY Special Showcase of Regional Talent

SAT06.01

• An open house for whoever happens to be in town this weekend, which could be just about anyone.

7:30 p.m. • The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 6292233, thecomedycatch.com

ART RECEPTION

MUSIC

MUSIC

Tiffany Taylor, Woodford Sessions, Ryan Oyer Band

Missy Raines & the New Hip

• You like local signer-songwriters?

Then we have a treat for you!

7 p.m. • The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com

“Inside and Out” Opening Reception • The 20th anniverary of the sculpture garden.

5 p.m. • River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com

• A beloved figure in bluegrass and a pioneering force in acoustic music.

8 p.m. • Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org

Dropkick Murphys Boston's best bring braggadocio to beat the band • “Like a swaggering Boston-Irish AC/DC, Dropkick Murphys more than live up to the image suggested by their name. Drawing on the pugilistic approach of early punk acts like Stiff Little Fingers, The Ramones and The Clash, as well as their most obvious antecedents The Pogues, the Murphys take the stage like bruisers looking for a bar brawl in the local boozer. Dropkick Murphys

bring a breathless fusion of the boisterous three-chord, two-minute start-to-stop immediacy of The Ramones’ early over-caffeinated catalog, mixed with the beery embrace of Irish drinking anthems.” (RW) Dropkick Murphys wih The Mahones, Old Man Markley 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323, track29.co

Come Moan Like A Zombie!

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chattanoogapulse.com • May 30—june 5, 2013 • The Pulse • 7

the body canvas AS

Around the time of my entrance onto Earth, a little horror movie debuted. Nineteen years later, I viewed this movie in a dark room covered in obscure Zappa posters and crowded with kids who at the time were trying to transition from punk to emo—or maybe back to punk. That night, I overheard a guy called Suicide explain to his fellow cemetery lovers, “You think this is a f@$%in’ costume? This is a way of life!” I was still deciding who I wanted to be, but it seemed this dude in “The Return of The Living Dead,” all in black, pierced, and dealing with zombies, knew who he was and was damn proud of it. That movie quote has stuck with me for life. You may hide who you are and only let it out on the weekends, you may be loud and proud, or quiet and content, but what

8 • The Pulse • May 30—june 5, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Dan Siviter

By Tara Viland Photos by Derrick Walters

you love and feel will shine through.

You can take your experiences of this world and create art…on your body, as a tattoo.

Some of us lost our tattoo virginity in a kitchen when we were young and dumb while others are still on the edge of making the choice. Tattooing has deep roots in world culture, but deepest is the reminder it gives us in a sometimes-trivial landscape of life.

Whether you have a silly memory, a memorial to those lost, or an inspiration to do better, we wanted to give our tattoo virgins and veterans a few artists and shops to keep in mind for their next ink. As Chattanooga grows, so does this industry and we have many artists and not enough pages. Here are a few of the artists among us.

Born in Virginia and a musician at heart, Dan Siviter came off tour to pursue tattooing in North Carolina at Liberty Tattoo. We now have him downtown at Triple 7 Studio. Dan’s clientele come to him for a style dubbed “neo-traditional” or “vintage.”

The bold lines and color work are a gem.

The studio tries to stay away from flash art, which has become a transition in many shops to convince people to use original designs. “The best advice I can give to anyone is to educate yourself. Know the possibilities, know your artists and his/her abilities,

look at portfolios, and don’t hesitate to ask questions. There are possibilities in tattooing now that weren’t available 10 years ago, five years ago, even two years ago.”

Dan notes: “Tattoos are all around us these days. Seeing the people that come in everyday to get tattooed is living proof of that. Whether you see their tattoos or not, we’ve seen all types and all ages. You never know.”

Dan Siviter, Triple 7 Studio, 29 Patten Pkwy. (423) 702-5401, tattoochattanooga. com

Dan Siviter

Skip Cisto has been tattooing for 14 years.

Also a muralist, portrait artist and musician, Skip came to Chattanooga in 1985 from Milwaukee when his father accepted a position at McCallie School as choral director.

I randomly met Skip at a Roots Fest drum circle just after having him recommended to me. I really enjoyed hearing how he was approached about tattooing after doing body art at festivals. After dealing with Evermore Galleries in the past, I was aware that Skip and his team have a longstanding tradition of excellence and positivity. Though a versatile artist, Skip loves Realism-style work and is included in “Black and Grey’s Finest”, a newly published art book that serves as a compilation of the industry’s leading artists of this style.

“I truly feel that I have helped to change and add quality to people’s lives. From my years as a professional ballet dancer to my love for playing blues guitar, I consider myself a lifelong student of the arts. I look forward to continue offering cutting-edge work to all who receive my art. We are all one.”

Skip Cisto, EverMore Galleries, 6910 Shallowford Rd. (423) 899-0056, evermoregalleries.com

Brandy Burgans has been a licensed tattoo artist for six years. Her apprenticeship started at Standard Ink under the ownership of the late Stowe Williams when they realized her history in painting would be a perfect fit. In the man’s world of Chattanooga ink, Brandy holds up a high bar. For some women, it is easier to have another woman understand your body art’s place in the world and having the option of a female artist is a true luxury. Brandy’s clientele come in for her bold color work, saying she has a unique style that goes beyond cartoon.

Her advice to those getting their first tattoo is to remember that patience is a virtue: the design and execution must be respected and done in due time. When we talked about tattoo acceptance, Brandy explained that she felt Volkswagen has set a precedent in considering body modifications to have nothing to do with the hiring process or work performance. She has inked many of their employees and executives since their arrival. “The hunger for learning various styles of tattooing is constant; I strive to perfect every piece I do. This summer, I am honored to be spending another month in Europe and UK working under several artists…I am lucky to have the greatest job for me in the world, and I am grateful for it every single day!”

Brandy Burgans, Standard Ink Tattoo Co., 434 Frazier Ave. (423) 756-8776, standardink.com

Brandy Burgans

Skip Cisto

Justin Nave has been tattooing for 18 years. The father of two and husband of 11 years owns both Sick Boys Ink tattoo shops, and is also a volunteer firefighter and Tennessee state constable.

Justin came to Chattanooga after high school to get away from the country and into a big city with somewhere to skate and live out a punk life. When he got to town, he says, there only four tattoo studios, “while now we have about 15 with three or more artists.” He studied art at UTC, but didn’t like the graphic arts push. As he told me, “I wanted to use pen and paper and they wanted me to use Photoshop…so I told them to kiss my ass.”

Justin says he has a lot of people come to

him for tribal, but his favorite style is traditional and he is currently learning the Japanese Tebori art of hand tattooing.

His service and work ethic are his most valued assets—along with the idea that his shop is a no-fluff-no-hassle-no-rock-star kind of joint. “We are the modern-day shamans. We are the counselors, the late night therapist. It’s our job to be the givers of the rights of passage, to console those who have lost loved ones, to help those who have lost their way. A lot of responsibility for just an artist, I guess, but it’s who I am.”

Justin Nave, Sick Boys Ink I & II, 5159 Hixson Pike, (423) 877-0101, sickboysink. com.

Skip Cisto

Note: On May 30, 6 p.m. the Hunter Museum presents “A Tour of Tattoos: An Exploration of Body Art.” Free with museum admission. 10 Bluff View. huntermuseum.org

chattanoogapulse.com • May 30—june 5, 2013 • The Pulse • 9

by T.J. Greever

The Musical Melting Pot of “Cannery Row” P

eople seem to have gotten the idea that if you go on national television and sing bad karaoke, start a band that'll make a classic rock DJ blow his brains out with excitement, or autotune a sexy lady's questionable grunts and moans into something you can pass off as listenable, then you are on your way to being a music super star. Sad, but true. Fortunately, there are still bands like the Deadstring Brothers that believe in road dogging around the country, making meaningful, heart-felt American music while letting us all in on the celebration— the way it’s meant to be done!

Deadstring Brothers are bringing their celebration into Chattanooga at Rhythm & Brews on Wednesday, June 5 in support of their newest release, “Cannery Row.” I was able to catch up with front man and Deadstring Brothers co-founder, Kurt Marsche, to talk about the band’s relocation from Detroit to Nashville and the new release.

When I spoke with Kurt, the band was, of course, traveling, and giving the heartland a triple bypass through some flat valley road. The voice on the other end made me feel like I had accidentally dialed up a friend for a drink at the bar.

Kurt’s voice, like much of the Deadstring Brothers music, is humble, vaguely familiar, and invites you to listen. The wind from the road came crackling through the phone as we talked about the band’s move from Detroit to Nashville. I asked Kurt, “How did the transition from Detroit to Nashville inspire you and did it affect your approach to songwriting?”

“I felt like being at home

10 • The Pulse • May 30—june 5, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

around all things familiar softens you a bit and my art was losing some of its edge,” he said.

“I felt like a part-timer because we had trouble staying on the road sometimes. Your personal life changes too.” When I asked him about how living in Nashville was impacting his approach to his music, he told me, “It certainly did change my approach to the songs. Being in a city for a few years whose primary industry is music heightens your artistic sense.”

“Cannery Row” is the Deadstring Brothers’ fifth with Bloodshot Records. Bloodshot Records is a DIY-style label established in Chicago in 1994. It has been home to artists such as Whiskeytown (Ryan Adams’s first band), Neko Case, Alejandro Escovedo, and The Legendary Shack Shakers. These days, artists Bobby Bare Jr., Justin Townes Earle, The Bottle Rockets and Murder By Death are part of the current roster. For this record, Deadstring Brothers brought together a stellar group of musicians to capture

“

Much like the neighborhood, the record emanates notes of a rich past in the midst of a modern facelift. the sounds and inspirations that had drifted down from the ceiling in Kurt’s apartment, appropriately located on Nashville's Cannery Row. Co-founder of DSB and fellow Detroit brethren J.D. Mack (former member of Whitey Morgan and the 78s) plays bass on “Cannery Row” with Brad Pemberton on the drums (Ryan Adams and the Cardinals), Mike Webb on organ/ piano/mandolin (Poco), Pete Finney on steel guitar/ dobro (Dixie Chicks, Hank Jr.),

Kim Collins on vocals (Smoking Flowers), and Willie Nelson’s long-time harp player Mikey Raphael rounding out the band.

This line-up really brought to life a snapshot in time topically centered on that Nashville neighborhood, with echoes of rhinestone cowboys mixed with the future shades of Nashville's current musical melting pot.

Much like the neighborhood, the record emanates notes of a rich past in the midst of a modern facelift.

The first track on “Cannery Row, “Like a California Wildfire” is also the album’s first single. It’s a really catchy, laidback groove that sounds as if DSB rode the Rolling Stones’ “Wild Horses” through a remote California field to chill with their friends and have a beer around the campfire. Track five is the title track, “Cannery Row.” Kim Collins layers vocal harmonies above a flowing piano riff like tasty trinkets meant especially to accompany Kurt’s vocal vantage point, which drifts down from high above the Cannery to your ears. Track nine, “Just a Deck of Cards,” feels like The Band covering a Foghat tune with Ryan Adams on vocals.

It's a really solid tune and perhaps my personal favorite on the record.

Deadstring Brothers blend tasty classic influences together to create a strong but vulnerable sound. From the first notes. “Cannery Row” makes you want to hear it, know who it is and if you don’t find out you’ll be pissed. Ladies and gentlemen, please get on down to Rhythm & Brews, grab a drink, open your ears, and get ready for the celebration that is a Deadstring Brothers concert.

Between the Sleeves record reviews • ernie paik

Caetano Veloso Abraçaço (Universal)

C

aetano Veloso has no idea why you might want to listen to his music.

That’s assuming that you—a Chattanooga Pulse reader, like this critic—are not fluent in Portuguese. The revered Brazilian musician and songwriter, now 70 years old with a musical career still going strong after five decades, crafts thoughtful, contemplative lyrics with a level of meaning apparently lost in translation, and because of this lack of comprehension for those who don’t understand Portuguese, Veloso is baffled by his success outside of Brazil.

Musically, those expecting perhaps a throwback to his ’60s Tropicália days or the lush, easy-listening-leaning arrangements of his later years may be slightly startled by his latest full-length, Abraçaço, which is the third of a trilogy of albums, following Cê and Zii e Zie, featuring the group BandaCê; each of these three albums has its own identity, although they’re tied to-

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gether with an atypical aesthetic with just a few rhythmic hints of various Brazilian genres and at times sounding more like an indie-rock band. Abraçaço wanders emotionally, yet it seems to remain focused in its mission; it’s recorded starkly—produced by Veloso’s son Moreno Veloso and Pedro Sa—with an honest sound that is not overproduced in the least. The easy balance of the album lets Veloso’s warm and welcoming voice become the center of attention.

Subtle psychedelic guitar licks permeate the album, from the solo on “Um Abraçaço”—referring to a big, comprehensive embrace, suggested by the album’s cover photo—to the wah-wah inflections and staccato stabs of “Parabéns” (“Congratulations”) with lyrics taken from a birthday email sent by Mauro Lima. To convey depression and emptiness, “Estou Triste” uses a sauntering distorted guitar melody and acoustic guitar heartbeat with sporadic cymbal hits, and the long, trudging “Um Comunista” is reflective and mournful, combining Veloso’s own story with that of the killed Marxist rebel Carlos Marighella. The album’s pace varies, with the arresting buzz pulse of “Funk Melódico” to the sparing arrangement featured on “Quando o Galo Cantou,” conveying a post-coital peace. Abraçaço doesn’t function like a manipulative movie soundtrack that musically dictates how one must feel; however, is it up to non-Portuguese speakers to do a little digging to seek its emotional resonance.

T

he title of the new Saturday Looks Good to Me album, One Kiss Ends It All, sounds like the cynical response to the name of the epic ’60s girlgroup compilation One Kiss Can Lead to Another from 2005. On one level, it’s ap-

Saturday Looks Good to Me One Kiss Ends It All (Polyvinyl)

propriate, knowing that the group has a profound love for girl groups and Phil Spector’s “Wall of Sound”-type arrangements, even sampling The Ronettes in the past. However, the title seems to defy the band’s own comeback and rebirth, with front man and songwriter Fred Thomas re-assembling the group after a hiatus after its 2007 album Fill up the Room, which seemed like a conscious effort to step away from the apparent Spector/ Brian Wilson/Motown worship of years past. Throughout the album, the listener is confronted with endings and goodbyes, like the line “Let the world disappear like a dusted dream,” in one of the album’s high points, “Invisible Friend.” However, there’s a mini-story-arc, with “New City” offering the suggestion, “It’s time to build a new city when it’s falling apart,” followed by the here-and-now immediacy of “The Ever-Present New Times Condition.”

One Kiss Ends It All occasionally falls

back on the group’s old methods and sources, from the faint dub-influenced echoes of “Empty Beach” to the nostalgically reverb-drenched guitar and Beach Boys-esque keyboard chords of “Are You Kissing Anyone?” and the string and saxophone enhanced arrangements. Even the lo-fi aesthetic of the group’s early days is represented on the slightly warped intro “One Kiss,” serving as a partial nod to cassette culture.

Newcomer Carol Catherine takes lead singer duties since Betty Marie Barnes moved to Sweden, although Barnes lends her voice on several tracks, joining Amber Fellows and Autumn Wetli with the typical rotating-singer method of the band.

The singers are on the opposite side of the spectrum of the American Idol-style honed-and-glossy vocalists, and they are all too happy to hold a note without breaking into vibrato; that said, some may feel like the singing is too unrefined, even for those accustomed to indie-rock approaches. It will take a few more listens to let the pop hooks dig their claws in fully, and the lyrics aren’t as tight as before, with a more flowing attitude; still, it’s apparent that Thomas has a knack for pop-song creation. One Kiss Ends It All isn’t the flat-out masterpiece that the band’s 2003 album All Your Summer Songs was, and while it doesn’t carve out new territory, it resists its title, not feeling like an ending but more as a warm-up for its second wind.

An engineer by profession, Ernie Paik’s eclectic tastes, lyrical, passionate writing and deep knowledge of music are a weekly staple of The Pulse. An archive of his reviews is available online at chattanoogapulse.com.

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chattanoogapulse.com • May 30—june 5, 2013 • The Pulse • 11

Chattanooga Live

CHATTANOOGA

MUSIC CALENDAR

Thu 05.30

LIVE MUSIC MAY-JUNE

30 MIGHTY SIDESHOW FRI. 10p 31 VELCRO PYGMIES SAT. 10p 1 UPTOWN BIG BAND TUE. 8p 4 DEADSTRING BROTHERS WED. 9p 5 GHOST OWL

THU. 9:30p

with AFRO

with AVERAGE

CAM & THE BOYS READY TO THROW DOWN COME DANCE TO A 20 PIECE SWING BAND

with JOSH FARROW

6.6 FALLACY 6.7 SLIPPERY WHEN WET 6.8 ONE: AN AMAZING TRIBUTE TO U2 ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

Thursday, May 30: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, May 31: 9pm Mark Leamon Saturday, June 1: 10pm Kara-Ory-Oke Tuesday, June 4: 7pm

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

Amber Fults 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org Letter to the Exiles, We the Gathered, Conveyer, Aurora, Stepney, Defile the King 7 p.m. Warehouse Cleveland, 260 2nd St. NE. warehousevenue.com Courtney Daly 7 p.m. Magoo’s, 3658 Ringgold Rd. (423) 867-1351 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 8 .p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn).

Facebook: theoffice.chatt Ghost Owl with AFRO 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com The Jägermeister Country Tour feat. Aaron Lewis and Brian Davis 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323, track29.co The Collins Brothers Band, The Decadence, Nothing and the Nobodies 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com Channing Wilson 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com

Fri 05.31

●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Facebook.com/theoffice.chatt

Tiffany Taylor, Woodford Sessions, Ryan Oyer Band 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Woodford Sessions 7 p.m. Nightfall at Miller Plaza, 850 Market St.

12 • The Pulse • May 30—june 5, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878, budssportsbar.com

Sat 06.01

Big Boi Afterparty at JJ’s •Serious party animals could be concerned that Friday’s Big Boi & Killer Mike show might not be a long enough celebration for them. No worries. Hop on over to JJ’s Bohemia after the show for a night of local hip-hop sure to keep the party going until the wee hours of the morning.

Presented by We Are Pointillism, the Big Boi Afterparty features the Microdahts, Floami Fly, Siri A & Lord Subliminal, Stoop Kids and Skinny iLL. They’ll rock the room all night with enough beats to satisfy any Big Boi fan.

• Friday, May 31st, 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd., (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

nightfallchattanooga.com Brothers Comatose 8 p.m. Nightfall at Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Crossfire 8 p.m. Backyard Grille, 4021 Hixson Pike.

(423) 486-1369, backyardgrillechattanooga. com The Family Stone with Hey, Elsten 8 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156, chattanoogaonstage.com Call the Sherriff 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065, ringgoldacoustic.com Mountain Opry 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmont Pike, Signal Mountain.

(423) 886-3252 Brian Ashley Jones feat. Tisha Simeral 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-

3400, chattanooganhotel.com Big Boi with Killer Mike 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323, track29.co Rosedale Remedy 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, skyzoochattanooga.com Mark Leamon 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn).

Facebook: theoffice.chatt Southlander 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 BRd. St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Big Boi Afterparty with Microdahts, Floami Fly, Stoop Kids, Skinny iLL and Siri A with Lord Subliminal 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com Mighty Sideshow 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com One Night Stand

JFest featuring Jeremy Camp, Sanctus Real, Royal Tailor, Jason Gray, more 9 a.m.-8 p.m. Camp Jordan Park, East Ridge. campjordan.com Madison Community Band 1 p.m. Chattanooga River Market, Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Michelle Holder 6 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000, choochoo.com Sweet N Lowdown 8 p.m. Backyard Grille, 4021 Hixson Pike.

(423) 486-1369, backyardgrillechattanooga. com Whiskey Run 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065, ringgoldacoustic.com Missy Raines & the New Hip with Slim Pickins and Nathan Bell 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Queen Lightning 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, skyzoochattanooga.com Endless Cycle, Beyond Me, Emerge, Nathan Wooten 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia Velcro Pigmies 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Kara-Ory-Oke 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook: theoffice.chatt Dead Dog, Ol Scratch,

Chattanooga Live

backylaerd ril g ROCKIN’ IN FRONt, SMOKIN’ OUt baCK

MUSIC CALENDAR

Pharmakon with Lust For Youth, Puce Mary, Body of Light and Aether Jag Pharmakon—aka Margaret Chardiet— hails from the underground New York experimental scene, where she co-founded the Far Rockaway, NY collective Red Light District at just 17 years old. She creates powerfully visceral recordings aimed at challenging the listener into feeling something. In a genre dominated by males, it’s both refreshing and terrifying to see that amount of furious and focused noise coming from a young female.

Just don’t let her appearance take you off guard. She’ll overwhelm your senses with a sonic assault on par with the likes of Swans and Throbbing Gristle.

Chardiet spent the first few years of her career creating DIY CD-R’s and cassette tapes for a small crowd back in New York.

Her latest and most widespread album, Abandoned, was released on May 15 through Sacred Bones Records, the exciting young Brooklyn label that has released albums from the likes of The Men, Zola Jesus and Religious Knives. Abandoned has garnered positive reviews from the likes of Pitchfork

Little Mascara, Moira Scar, Test Dream 10 p.m. Sluggo’s, 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224

Sun 06.02 Sweet Georgia Sound 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com.

Chattanooga Traditional Irish Music Session 5 p.m. Moccasin Bend Brewing Company, 4015 Tennessee Ave. (423) 821-6392 Machinest, You Can’t Miss the Bear, The Good Ole Boys, Telling Tall Tales, The Bear Comes Home 7 p.m. Warehouse Cleveland, 260 2nd St. NE. warehousevenue.com The Jericho Brass

NO SMOKING • ID REQUIRED • $5 COVER baND NIGhtS lIVE MUSIC 7:30-11 P.M. • DRINK SPECIalS • bIKES WElCOME! Fri. May 31 Sat. June 1

crossfire 8:00pm - midnight

rock & roll!!!

sweet n lowdown

rock, blues & Patsy 8:00pm - midnight

saturday night owner’s birthday bash! Party with the birthday boy!

Fri. June 7

Paul smith

& the sky high band 7:30 pm - 11:00 pm

E $11.95 RIb EY E IV DINNER ON ltS! h MUSIC NIG and Consequence of Sound. The intensity on the album begs to be experienced live for those who want to break free of their comfort zone. Chattanooga will get the chance to experience that intensity in person when Pharmakon comes to Sluggo’s North on June 5, with label mates Lust for Youth and a slew of other experimental bands sure to challenge your brain. Just don’t come expecting to feel comfortable. Chardiet will personally make sure that does not happen. - Carson O'Shoney

4021 HIXSON PIKE “WE SMOKE IN OUR BACKYARD”

between access road & ashland terrace

423.486.1369 • backyardgrillechattanooga.com

• Wednesday 06/5 Sluggo’s, 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224.

7:30 p.m. The Mountain Arts Community Center, 809 Kentucky, Ave. Signal Mountain. (423) 866-1959, signalmountainmacc.org The Bumper Jacksons, Old Time Travelers, The Kernal & His New Strangers 8 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com 423 Bass Love 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 Find them on Facebook

Mon 06.03 Music Monday 7 p.m. Pasha Coffee and Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482 Dropkick Murphys, The Mahones, Old Man Markley 8 p.m. Track 29,

1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323, track29.co

Tue 06.04 Wooden Indian Burial Ground 7 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400, Tim Starnes & Davey Smith 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad. St. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com Uptown Swing Band 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

Wed 06.05 Dan Sheffield 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St.

(423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com Pharmakon, Lust for Youth, Others 10 p.m. Sluggo's, 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224 Deadstring Brothers with Josh Farrow 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Dance Mix and Karaoke with DJ “O” 10 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468- 4533, skyzoochattanooga.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

Red QueenBody Tattoo Piercing &

est. 1995

3224B Brainerd Rd. • above the Comedy Catch • 423.622.6252

chattanoogapulse.com • May 30—june 5, 2013 • The Pulse • 13

Arts

By Rich Bailey

The Conversation is the Work New Dischord Festival changes its tune The focus of the New Dischord Festival is changing this year, from experimental new music to intermedia works in which artists create outside their traditional disciplines. This year's festival is June 6-9 in several Chattanooga venues.

The new direction began when festival founder Tim Hinck found his interest in creating new music waning so much that he didn't feel much like producing a festival devoted to it. He considered killing the four-year-old festival, but poet and friend Aubrey Lenahan suggested he refocus it instead on the kind of work that still interested him.

The two shared an interest bringing experimental artists to Chattanooga from other cities, as well as a frustration with the lack of peer critique in Chattanooga's arts scene.

"There are a lot of experimental artists here and in other cities. What if we connected them?"

Hinck recalls asking.

"We started saying, 'Where do you have people, where do I have people?'" recalls Lenahan.

The new version of New Dischord not only features experimental artists from Chattanooga, DC, New York, Atlanta, Montre-

honest music

al, and Savannah but kicks off a "satellite collective" among them.

"The idea is for Chattanooga to be part of a very specific network of cities," says Lenahan, "not just bringing in artists that live anywhere, but actually targeting communities, trying to figure out what their conversation is about by visiting them and seeing their work, and then having those artists come to our town and add their ideas to what we're doing."

"It's not just about popping in and seeing work, but rather studying and giving verbal feedback on site at the event," says Hinck. For him, the model for this kind of dialogue comes from talkbacks at the arts residency series he and painter Ashley Hamilton host at their Easy Lemon studio space.

"That moment when the person finishes presenting their work and sits down and three people start talking at the same time, that is electricity," he says.

Similarly, Lenahan recalls listening to one particular poet.

"She was reading all these poems dealing with masculinity in the Hardy Boys and I'd been writing a lot of poems about Nancy Drew from a feminist lens." Because of the face-to-face meeting, the two poets began a conversation that night and now have an ongoing email exchange.

What the 20-plus artists participating in this year's New Dischord festival have in common is that they are working outside the confines of the media in which they were trained. The festival includes musical composition, visual art, theater, movement and poetry.

"Intermedia is a single person using and propagating their ideas through various disciplines," says Hinck.

Violinist Malcolm Goldstein, for example, "gives performances that are equally movement and sound," says Hinck. "He embod-

ies or inhabits the stage. Movement and sound come from same place.

"Most of the festival artists begin from composition or sound," he continues, "but they are working in a very intermedia world, so their work is no longer just sound performance. The place where a lot of this multidisciplinary work comes together is almost theatrical. It will always look a little bit like theater."

New Dischord is intended to be a sustained four-day conversation that begins this week in Chattanooga and continues in other cities. For example, DC poet Alyse Knorr and Lenahan will both perform at New Dischord, and again in July in DC. "Between these two events, she and I are going to have lots of conversations about how in DC we can extend the conversation we started in Chattanooga," says Lenahan.

"That's the ideal form of inter-

media,” says Hinck. "It's not just that we travel outside to perform our work and host people who perform here, but that inbetween and during these events we're having a conversation that we can build upon. It's an ongoing conversation that places Chattanooga around the table with these other experimental arts communities."

Hinck goes so far as to say that, with intermedia art, "The conversation is the work.

"The actual realizations of those ideas are very ephemeral and fleeting and can shift through mediums and disciplines," says Hinck. "If I'm having a conversation with a poet about a gender issue, that's the work. The film or poem or painting that comes out of it is just residue of that conversation. To me that's contemporary art. It's no longer about medium specificity.”

"And it's no longer about working in isolation, the solitary artist toiling over their craft and then creating the object or whatever.

All that goes away," adds Lenahan. "I don't think you can be an artist without being part of an artistic community. I don't think you're making contemporary art if you're not part of a contemporary audience for art."

"It changes what we can hope to be as artists, what our role is," says Hinck. "Is it to create the next great work of art, or is it to contribute to the conversation?"

New Dischord Festival

June 6-9, multiple venues.

For more information and schedule, visit http://timhinck.wix. com/newdischord2013

local and regional shows

The Decadence with The Collins Brothers Band [$5] The Waffle Stompers with Demon Waffle and Uke-N-Aja [$5] Big Daddy Love with Scenic City Breakdown [$5] Endless Cycle with Subkoncious [$3]

Thu, May 30 Wed, June 5 Thu, June 6 Wed, June 12

Sundays: Live Trivia 4-6pm followed by Live Music June 2: The Bumper Jacksons with Old Time Travelers [$5] June 16: Sons of Hippies with Isle of Rhodes [$5]

14 • The Pulse • May 30—june 5, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

9pm 9pm 9pm 9pm

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint

Books More Things in Heaven and Earth by janis hashe

New book explores the Tao and the Swan of Avon

At first glance, it does seem like the beginning of a joke: “Shakespeare and Lao Tzu walk into a bar…” But Decatur writer Phillip DePoy’s new book, “The Tao and the Bard: A Conversation,” is actually a very intriguing mash-up of selections from the 81 verses that make up the “Tao Te Ching” and quotations from a range of Shakespeare’s work.

For example, in “Thirty-six:” Lao Tzu: Being gentle/will always overcome/any hard obstacle/any strength.

Shakespeare: You bear a gentle

mind, and heavenly blessings/ Follow such creatures. (“Henry VIII”) DePoy conceived the idea for the book in 1986, while writing songs for the original Atlanta production of “Hamlet! The Musical!” (“I was in it, too, playing either Rosencrantz or Guildenstern, who can remember?” he jokes.)

“I was just reading another translation of the ‘Tao Te Ching’— I had been interested in Eastern spiritual thought since reading Alan Watts at age 20—and when we were dealing with Hamlet’s line, ‘There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so,’ I realized I’d read something very similar in the ‘Tao,’” DePoy says.

So he began tinkering with a project that came to fruition this year. “I went through the ‘Tao,” and then I did some oldfashioned, 19th-century-style research, poring through the Riverside Shakespeare for references. I read Arthur Burgess, Harold Bloom, and I was heavily influenced by Joseph Campbell,” he says. “At the beginning, Campbell was convinced that East and West could never meet; their

RAW

mythologies and cultures were just too different, but like him, I wanted to see if there was a way to bridge the gap, and add something to the conversation.”

In “The Tao and the Bard,” DePoy does contribute to the conversation with “comments” at the end of some of the sections. For example, in “Sixty-seven”: Lao Tzu: Most of the world will say/The Tao is foolish./This is because it’s so genuine,/but does not proclaim itself,/And much of the world/is not a genuine place.

Shakespeare: Wisdom cries out in the streets, and no man regards it. (“Henry IV, Part 1”) Comment: Fellow Nazarenes laughed at Jesus when he tried to tell them what he thought was the truth. The Dalai Lama has spent a lifetime trying to get the Chinese government to listen to him about the simplest truths, and they’ve ignored him. But the good news comes from Gandhi: “First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”

DePoy finds it fascinating that people who lived in different centuries and different cultures seem to have been so similar in

“

DePoy finds it fascinating that people who lived in different centuries and different cultures seem to have been so similar in how they saw the world and the humans who bustle in it.

how they saw the world and the humans who bustle in it. This, he says, applies even if Lao Tzu and/ or Shakespeare were actually more than one person apiece.

Those who love Shakespeare and those who are interested in Eastern thought would both enjoy this book. “Barnes & Noble wants to put it in the theatre section, but I think it would fit better in ‘Philosophy,’” says DePoy. But, he says, he does see the application for theatre folks, who are always looking for ways to see Shakespeare’s work in new lights.

“I can see actors using it to help interpret lines and characters,” he says.

The broader reach, though, is simply to people who want to compare the work of two great thinkers. “I absolutely find how easily what they have said applies to things I do in life, every day,” say DePoy. As he says at the end of “The Tao and the Bard,” “You should probably stop reading it now, and look up.”

“The Tao and the Bard: A Conversation,” by Phillip DePoy. Arcade Publishing, 2013, $16.95.

LIVE MUSIC & DJs EVERY WEEKEND FRI • MAY 31 CRANE 1st Floor DJ REGGIE REG 2nd Floor SAT• JUNE 1 3 & 20 1st Floor DJ REGGIE REG 2nd Floor LIVE MUSIC STARTS @ 10:30PM FRIDAY & SATURDAY NIGHTS

PARTY, REDEFINED.

TWO FLOORS • ONE BIG PARTY • LIVE MUSIC • DANCING • 409 MARKET ST • 423.756.1919 open 7 days a week » full menu until 2am » 21+ » smoking allowed chattanoogapulse.com • May 30—june 5, 2013 • The Pulse • 15

“One of America’s Top 101 places to visit”

National Geographic, USA 101

for more info call 706.820.2531

See RockCity.com ...and make plans to See ROCK CITY this summer:

F eaturing the Old Time Travelers!

Arts & Entertainment Thu 05.30 “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” 10 a.m. – 8 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 2670968, huntermuseum.org “Defining Roots” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Michael Murphy: Damage” 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org Magic Tree House Traveling Exhibit 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org Rock City Raptors 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com Ooltewah Farmer’s Market 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery & Landscape Co., 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 “Tour of Tattoos: An Exploration of Body Art” 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org Ulmer Spatzen Chor Presented by Chattanooga Girls Choir 7 p.m. Ridgedale Baptist Church, 1831 Hickory Valley Rd. (423) 296-1006

Fri 05.31

Saturdays, Sundays & Holidays Another great reason to get a Rock City Annual Pass. For less than the cost of two single admissions, you can come back again and again... for FREE!

EVENTS CALENDAR

“PLEIN AIR – The Art of Outdoor Paintings” 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Shuptrine’s Gold Leaf Designs, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453, shuptrines.com Magic Tree House Traveling Exhibit 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org “Whitfield Lovell:

16 • The Pulse • May 30—june 5, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Orchid, Ain’t it?

• The Mise En Scenesters again invade Barking Legs, this time with the experimental science-fiction film “Upstream Color.” It’s described as being about two people involved in a “worm-pig-orchid life cycle.” Say no more! $5. Sun., June 2, 8:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. barking legs.org

Deep River” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org “Defining Roots” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St..

(423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Michael Murphy: Damage” 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org Fresh on Fridays 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Center Park, 728 Market St. (423) 265-3700, facebook. com/centerparkchattanooga Rock City Raptors 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com Wine Tasting on the Blue Moon 6:30 p.m. Blue Moon Cruises, 301 Riverfront Pkwy. (888) 993-2583, bluemooncruises.org Special Showcase of Regional Talent 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com “Into the Woods” 7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium Community Theatre, 399 McCallie

Ave. (423) 757-5295 Firefighters Concert: The Family Stone 8 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 642-TIXS, chattanoogaonstage.com Ballroom Dance Party 8:30 p.m. Ballroom Magic Dance Center, 4200 Access Rd. (423) 771-3646, ballroommagicdancecenter. com Richie Holliday 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com

Sat 06.01 Run Wild 5K 8 a.m.-11 a.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322, chattzoo.org CRSCCA Tire Rack Street Survival Teen Driving School 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m, Eastgate Town Center, 5600 East Brainerd Rd. (423)836-5205, crscca.org JFest 9:30 a.m.-8 p.m. Camp Jordan, 323 Camp Jordan Pkwy. East Ridge (423) 490-0078. jfest.com Chattanooga River Market

10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496. chattanoogarivermarket.com Magic Tree House Traveling Exhibit 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 267-0968, Privet Rip It Day 10 a.m. Greenway Farms, 5051 Gann School Rd. (423) 643-6096 FACES Ride 4 Smiles 10:30 a.m. Thunder Creek Harley-Davidson, 7720 Lee Hwy. (423) 266-1632, ride4smiles.org “Michael Murphy: Damage” 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org Rock City Raptors 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com “Inside and Out” Opening Reception 5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Into the Woods” 7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditiorium Community Theatre, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5295 A Rare Night of Comedy & Music Featuring Rare Coalition 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com Richie Holliday 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839,

Sun 06.02 Magic Tree House Traveling Exhibit

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY

Gone, But Never Forgotten: Deep River

naturally wonderful

It’s again time for First Free Sunday at the Hunter, and with the fabulous new Whitfield Lovell exhibit available for view, don’t miss your chance. You can stroll the permanent collections in both old and new buildings, and then give yourself plenty of time to see both rooms of “Deep River.” Lovell, an internationally acclaimed and multi-award-winning artist, has created an installation specifically for Chattanooga, inspired by stories of the Civil War and the sanctuary for runaway slaves on the banks of the Tennessee River, Camp Contraband. Powerful, moving, and with the war’s 150th anniversary upon us, timely.

Top 7 Natural Wonder

First Free Sunday at the Hunter Free. Sun., June 2, Noon-4:30 p.m.

Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 267-0968. huntermuseum.org

10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org “Inside and Out” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com Rock City Raptors 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd, Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com Chattanooga Market Big Band Swingfest 11 a.m.-4 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. (423) 648-2496, chattanoogamarket.com “Michael Murphy: Damage” 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org First Free Sunday: “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” Noon – 5 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, “Into the Woods” 2 p.m. Memorial Auditorium Community Theatre, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5295

Special Showcase of Regional Talent 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com Mise En Scenesters: “Upstream Color” 8:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org

Mon 06.03 Ice Cream Festival 8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-254, rubyfalls.com Magic Tree House Traveling Exhibit 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org “Inside and Out” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Hunter

Museum, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 267-0968.

Learn to Line Dance!

5:30 p.m. Allemande Hall, 7400 Standifer Gap Rd. (423)309-6842, linesinmotion.net

Tue 06.04 Ice Cream Festival 8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-254, rubyfalls.com “PLEIN AIR – The Art of Outdoor Paintings” 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Shuptrine’s Gold Leaf Designs, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453, “Inside and Out” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com Magic Tree House Traveling Exhibit 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org “Whitfield Lovell:

Deep River” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 267-0968,

423.821.2544 RubyFalls.com

Wed 06.05 Ice Cream Festival 8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-254, rubyfalls.com “Inside and Out” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com Magic Tree House Traveling Exhibit 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

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Challenge yourself on suspended treetop obstacles including ladders, nets, walkways, bridges, tunnels and zip lines!

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chattanoogapulse.com • May 30—june 5, 2013 • The Pulse • 17

Screen

Where Mankind Has Gone Before New ‘Star Trek’ film may not please fan boys

“ Everything

By John DeVore In yet another summer movie with style over substance, “Star Trek Into Darkness” continues on the course of the conventional action movie set out by director J.J Abrams in 2009. While “Star Trek” the reboot was a relatively fresh look at the franchise, with a nice take on the original story and a convincing restart to the “Star Trek” historical cannon, “Star Trek Into Darkness” isn’t quite the leap forward that many fans expected. Instead, it rehashes old storylines, tweaking them just enough to appear original, but leaving several of the familiar lines intact. The filmmakers seemed to be taking too many notes from fans while setting the wrong tone. “Star Trek” is about discovery, not the fight between good and evil. It’s about challenging preconceptions and dreaming of the possibilities that lie just outside the edges of our perception. Adventure is for “Star Wars”—“Star Trek” is a search for understanding.

Tonal differences aside, “Star Trek Into Darkness” is still a fun film. The cast from the 2009 film returns, and although most of the characters are played as caricatures of their 1960s counterparts, they are still a welcome part of a

well-known franchise. Kirk and Spock are given most of the heavy lifting. They move the plot along by jumping in and out of scenes with the real star of the show, the special effects. The artists and designers that created the universe through which these actors move are the real visionaries. They deserve the multimillion-dollar salaries that the studios toss at the cast. Everything is beautiful

18 • The Pulse • May 30—june 5, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

in the future—it’s as if Steve Jobs was cloned and put to work designing every corner of Earth and Heaven. I spent less time paying attention to what the actors were saying just because there was so much to look at. Do not see this in 3D. You’ll miss out on the incredible detail.

As I mentioned, the plot is rehashed from another film.

If you’re a “Star Trek” fan, you

know which one. You can smell the rich Corinthian leather wafting through the theater. Benedict Cumberbatch is a more than effective villain—he plays the role with equal parts intelligence and savagery, making him far more intimidating than his predecessor. Certain characters from the “Star Trek” universe call for an action-movie makeover and it’s certainly not V’ger. The film is

is beautiful in the future—it’s as if Steve Jobs was cloned and put to work designing every corner of Earth and Heaven.

not a shot-for-shot remake—the timelines are different, so we have a younger crew facing a comparatively younger villain, which I suppose explains a much more emotional Spock. His human side appears to be much more prominent in his youth, although truthfully, whose isn’t? There are throwaway references for fans of the series: Tribbles, Section 31, Gorn, etc. Klingons also make an appearance, hopefully setting the stage for future encounters. All in all, casual fans of the franchise will likely be pleased.

But the more hardcore fans, the ones that study the show and the films and attend the conventions will probably be disappointed.

Some people are impossible to please. It doesn’t help that “Star Trek” is better as a television show. It needs weekly episodes, long seasons and story arcs, and a variety of planets and alien life forms. Two hours every few years just isn’t enough. That’s the major difference between the two—it’s easier to be thoughtful over 25 episodes. Modern moviegoers demand constant action that doesn’t fit with the heart of the franchise. “Star Trek Into Darkness” is good enough as a standalone film, but Trekkies want to come back next week to see where the crew is on their five-year mission. Unless Abrams and company want to ramp up their production, a certain number of fans just aren’t going to be satisfied.

If hardcore fans temper their expectations, “Star Trek Into Darkness” is as good a film experience as it can be, even for them.

There are fast starships, lots of explosions, and a few scantily clad ladies with green skin and tails. Just make sure to leave any deep thoughts at the door.

Farewell to an Era Bye, Bye Blockbuster

The last local holdout of the oncemighty chain closes The inevitable is finally happening. Chattanooga’s last Blockbuster is shutting its doors.

The Chattanooga area used to be home to seven Blockbuster stores—until most of them closed in the wake of the company declaring bankruptcy in 2010. The Highway 58 location lingered on because the company owned the building it was housed in. But that final store location will shut down on June 13.

Blockbuster was, of course, a staple of film and game lovers for decades. For many years, it was the only way to rent new movies and video games. At its peak, the company operated 9,000 stores nationwide. But, as options grew and customers switched their preferences to more instant services, decline ensued.

Dish Network bought the bankrupt company in April 2011 for $320 million, but Blockbuster never recovered. The rise of streaming services like Netflix and

OnDemand, along with convenient movie vending machines like Redbox, eliminated the need for brick and mortar stores. As of March 2013, the company only had 650 stores remaining, with another 150 expected to close this quarter, according to ValueWalk.com.

As a former employee, I can say it’s no surprise to see them totally wiped out of the area. They were too stubborn and too slow to adapt to a changing landscape—eventually offering streaming services and vending machines, but too long after other companies paved the way and staked their claim to the movie rental business.

The store on Highway 58 is holding an everything-must-go closing sale until the closing date, from DVDs to shelves to gumball machines. Say your goodbyes and pick up some cheap flicks at 4531 Highway 58 before it’s gone for good.

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Free Will Astrology GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In Japan it's not rude to slurp while you eat your ramen noodles out of a bowl. That's what the Lonely Planet travel guide told me. In fact, some Japanese hosts expect you to make sounds with your mouth; they take it as a sign that you're enjoying your meal.

In that spirit, Gemini, and in accordance with the astrological omens, I encourage you to be as inhibited as you dare this week— not just when you're slurping your noodles, but in every situation where you've got to express yourself uninhibitedly in order to experience the full potential of the pleasurable opportunities.

As one noodle-slurper testified: "How can you possibly get the full flavor if you don't slurp?"

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Here's a thought from philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein: "A person will be imprisoned in a room with a door that's unlocked and opens inwards as long as it does not occur to him to pull rather than push that door." I'd like to suggest that his description fits you right now, Cancerian.

What are you going to do about it? Tell me I'm wrong? Reflexively agree with me? I've got a better idea. Without either accepting or rejecting my proposal, simply adopt a neutral, open-minded attitude and experiment with the possibility. See what happens if you try to pull the door open.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If you

have been waiting for the right moment to perfect your party skills, I suspect this might be it.

Is there anything you can do to lower your inhibitions? Would you at least temporarily consider

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slipping into a chronic state of fun? Are you prepared to commit yourself to extra amounts of exuberant dancing, ebullient storytelling, and unpredictable playtime? According to my reading of the astrological omens, the cosmos is nudging you in the direction of rabble-rousing revelry.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Where exactly are your power spots, Virgo? Your bed, perhaps, where you rejuvenate and reinvent yourself every night? A place in nature where you feel at peace and at home in the world?

A certain building where you consistently make good decisions and initiate effective action?

Wherever your power spots are, I advise you to give them extra focus. They are on the verge of serving you even better than they usually do, and you should take steps to ensure that happens. I also advise you to be on the lookout for a new power spot.

It's available.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Reverence is one of the most useful emotions. When you respectfully acknowledge the sublime beauty of something greater than yourself, you do yourself a big favor. You generate authentic humility and sincere gratitude, which are healthy for your body as well as your soul.

Please note that reverence is not solely the province of religious people. A biologist may venerate the scientific method. An atheist might experience a devout sense of awe toward geniuses who have bequeathed to us their brilliant ideas. What about you, Libra? What excites your reverence? Now is an excellent time

to explore the deeper mysteries of this altered state of consciousness.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): When explorer Ernest Shackleton was planning his expedition to Antarctica in 1914, he placed this ad in London newspapers: "Wanted: For hazardous journey. Small wages, bitter cold, long months of complete darkness, constant danger, return doubtful. Honor and recognition in case of success." Would you respond to a come-on like that if you saw it today? I suspect you're itching for intense engagement with the good kind of darkness that in the past has inspired so much smoldering wisdom. But I believe you can satisfy those yearnings without putting yourself at risk or suffering severe deprivation.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-

Dec. 21): "I'd rather not sing than sing quiet," said the vivacious chanteuse Janis Joplin. Her attitude reminds me a little of Salvador Dali's. He said, "It is never difficult to paint. It is either easy or impossible." I suspect you Sagittarians may soon be in either-or states like those. You will want to give everything you've got, or else nothing at all. You will either be in the zone, flowing along in a smooth and natural groove, or else totally stuck. Luckily, I suspect that giving it all and being in the zone will predominate.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22Jan. 19): In 1948, Nelson Mandela began his fight to end the system of apartheid in his native South Africa. Eventually he was arrested for dissident activities

and sentenced to life imprisonment. He remained in jail until 1990, when his government bowed to international pressure and freed him. By 1994, apartheid collapsed. Mandela was elected president of his country and won the Nobel Peace Prize.

Fast-forward to 2008. Mandela was still considered a terrorist by the United States, and had to get special permission to enter the country. Yikes! You probably don't have an antiquated rule or obsolescent habit that's as horrendous as that, Capricorn. But it's past time for you to dissolve your attachment to any outdated attachments, even if they're only mildly repressive and harmful.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): As a renowned artist, photographer, and fashion designer, Karl Lagerfeld has overflowed with creative expression for 50 years. His imagination is weird and fantastic, yet highly practical. He has produced a profusion of flamboyant stuff. "I'm very down to earth," he has said, "just not this earth." Let's make that your mantra for the coming weeks, Aquarius: You, too, will be very down to earth in your own unique way. You'll follow your quirky intuition, but always with the intent of channeling it constructively.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):

In the following passage, French novelist Georges Perec invites us to renew the way we look upon things that are familiar to us.

"What we need to question," he says, "is bricks, concrete, glass, our table manners, our utensils, our tools, the way we spend our time, our rhythms. To question

that which seems to have ceased forever to astonish us." A meditation like this could nourish and even thrill you, Pisces. I suggest you boost your ability to be sincerely amazed by the small wonders and obvious marvels that you sometimes take for granted.

ARIES

(March 21-April 19): Back in the 1920s, the governor of Texas was determined to forbid the teaching of foreign languages in public schools. To bolster her case, she called on the Bible. "If English was good enough for Jesus Christ," she said, "it's good enough for us."

She was dead serious. I suspect you may soon have to deal with that kind of garbled thinking, Aries. And it may be impossible to simply ignore it. So what's the best way to deal with it? Here's what I advise: Be amused. Quell your rage. Stay calm. And methodically gather the cool, clear evidence about what is really true.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A few weeks ago, the principal at a school in Bellingham, Washington announced that classes would be canceled the next day.

What was his rationale? A bomb threat, or an outbreak of sickness? He decided to give students and teachers the day off so they could enjoy the beautiful weather that had arrived. I encourage you to make a similar move in the coming days, Taurus.

Take an extended Joy Break— maybe several of them. Grant yourself permission to sneak away and indulge in spontaneous celebrations. Be creative as you capitalize profoundly on the gifts that life is offering you.

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20 • The Pulse • May 30—june 5, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

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Jonesin’ Crossword

Heading out to a music festival this summer?

Find all the music you need for the ride.

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Monday, June 10 Blood Assurance Blood Drive

Books. Lots of books. And more.

We buy, sell and trade.

Used Books, CDs, Movies, & More

7734 Lee Highway • McKayBooks.com Monday-Saturday 9am-10pm • Sunday 11am-7pm

Chattanooga Chow “The Quiet People” -- They still make an impression.

Across 1. Cup in some coffeehouses 6. Bounce back 10. Superficial, as speech 14. Clear jelly 15. A little depressed 16. Letter from Iceland?

17. Quiet person with a Scottish accent?

19. Me, myself ___ 20. A gazillion years, seemingly 21. Friendly lead-in 22. Began to eat 23. Quit the chess game 26. Indigo and such 28. Hit hard, as with a ball 29. Dish the insults 31. Decrease 33. For face value 36. Designer Cassini 39. Boo-boo 40. Quiet person who oversees new family additions?

43. Sommelier’s stat 44. Birth certificate info

45. “Green ___” 46. Ventura County city 48. Supposedly insane Roman ruler 50. 34-down craft 51. 1952 Winter Olympics site 54. Secret place?

58. Dilate 60. Abbr. near a 0 62. Ottoman title 63. Month of the Jewish calendar 64. Quiet person who moderates debates?

67. Film spool 68. Peel, as an apple 69. “Real Housewives of...” airer 70. This, in Spain 71. Tiny marchers 72. Pump parts

Down

1. Electric-dart firer 2. “... who lived in ___” 3. Covers 4. Male customer, to a clerk

5. “The Name of the Rose” author 6. Dwindles 7. Did part of writing a crossword 8. “Time’s a-wastin’!”

9. Poetic contraction 10. Color in Cologne 11. Inflation driver?

12. Site with the slogan “Film. Biz. Fans.”

13. Samadhi concept 18. Longtime Georgia senator Sam 22. UK mil. award 24. Liqueur from the Basque country 25. Pink, in a nursery 27. Round breakfast brand 30. Painter of “The Naked Maja” 32. Business bubble that burst 33. “Carry on, then” 34. Its pilot episode introduced The Smoking Man 35. It may involve sitting

side-by-side on a bench 37. On the ___ (running away) 38. ___ Prairie, Minn.

41. Wraps up 42. Henry VIII’s last wife Catherine ___ 47. “Parks and Recreation” character Swanson 49. Make 52. “Mean Girls” actress 53. Dizzying pix 55. Of Benedict or Francis 56. “OK, so what’s the answer?”

57. Some Value Menu dishes 59. Marie Claire competitor 61. Female flockmates 64. Detox place 65. Conan’s current home 66. Elemento numero 79 © 2013 Jonesin’ Crosswords

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0625.

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CALL 423.265.9494 chattanoogapulse.com • May 30—june 5, 2013 • The Pulse • 21

On the Beat

alex teach

Cynicism: It’s What’s For Breakfast Home Games Sun, June 2 • 5:15 PM vs. Mississippi Braves Home & Garden Night

Mon, June 3 • 7:15 PM vs. Mississippi Braves Kids Eat Free!

Tue, June 4 • 7:15 PM vs. Mississippi Braves BI-LO BOGO

Wed, June 5 • 7:15 PM vs. Mississippi Braves

Thu, June 6 • 7:15 PM vs. Mississippi Braves Beer Tasting Night

"Cynicism, like silence, is like an old friend: it will rarely betray you." And it is with no small degree of irony that the person who passed that phrase on to me ultimately betrayed me. Hah. I've actually researched the origins of the word itself, and it turns out it was named for a group of people who chose to live a life of poverty, who were highly indifferent to others, who harshly criticized the wealthy and idealistic, and who generally lived in a way that could best described as "dogs" (from which the word “cynic” is derived) and who would also eat, sleep, and make love in public, such was their indifference.

(Please note! I am not describing members of the "Occupy” movement or professional bicyclists, despite the apt description. They would inevitably find this offensive through sheer association with "one such as myself" since I'm associating this word with "cops" after all; I’m just stating facts here, as I know them.)

It was very simply stated that they could discern friends from enemies, and would harshly criticize (or "bark" at) them for being so. They also felt the dog was a shameless animal (h’mmm), that felt it was not beneath modesty, but superior to it…and that they were good guards (another “h’mmm”). Needless to say, I’m sold on its membership.

Happiness, security? What are people thinking? People who trust in those also believe David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear.

An illusion.

Cops know this, or at least they think they do. Everyone has their suspicions of course, but a cop's suspicions are his or her bread and butter.

People that believe in the

22 • The Pulse • May 30—june 5, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

inherent goodness of men and fairness (and even common freakin' sense) find these illusions to be a form of a mental Oreo cookie: A rare treat that they devour with eagerness and then desperately await, if not seek out, the next. Too much makes you feel guilty, but just a bite now and then? Heaven.

Cynicism, now…cynicism is a meal served thrice daily, with all the snacks you can stand in-between meals. Cynicism will make you fat, and give you an interesting sneer as a visually intriguing side effect. Cynicism gets you away from those cookies, and provides a buffet of bland yet consistent food that cynics feel, at least, is healthier for you.

For cynicism, indeed, rarely betrays you.

Think of all the energy you put into expectations.

Sickening, isn't it? Goals, ideals..."justice,” God forbid?

They are billboards on a normally rainy highway where the exits are too far between restrooms and the cops are in the median with radar and lidar just hoping to get you on the side of the road and have

“

As much as I actually miss being surprised from time to time, it sure beats the alternative of repetitive disappointment, which is a serious consideration when you're in the business of misery.

you explain the scent of death coming from your trunk at gunpoint, when you know damn well it's just the bag of garbage you forgot to toss in a trashcan somewhere.

F@$% "expectations.”

When the bottom denominator is all you expect to get, anything else is a gift and what you expect ends up being the actual price. Enjoy it. Mediocrity forever, I say.

As much as I actually miss being surprised from time to time, it sure beats the alternative of repetitive disappointment, which is a serious consideration when you're in the business of misery. I am a fairly happy-go-lucky guy, a regular Mr. Sunshine, but even I have limits on my letdowns, believe it or not. And when you expect everything to let you down? Well, that's not just one less thing: That's 100 less things a day for a cop, on every level.

So here we are. What was the point of today’s exercise? If you want to be a cop for more than two years, don’t just keep your guard up: Keep a wall up, and put pointy shit at the very top of it. Expect the worst and at the worst, you’ll at least be prepared for it, and at the best have a potentially good time.

But best of all? It eliminates most unwanted “surprises.”

Can’t handle it? That’s why we have a fire department, baby.

Just a little more unsolicited advice from a heavily solicited man. Enjoy. (Or don’t, whichever.)

JOIN THE HIPPIE GENERATION GREAT MUSIC FROM 1964-1973

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June 9, 2013

The Chattanooga Market First Tennessee Pavillion

At the age of 10, Jack was inspired to shave his head in honor of kids with cancer after reading the book ‘Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie’ by Jordan Sonnenblick. Join Jack as he shaves his head on June 9th to help raise funds for the Children’s Hospital Foundation and local children batting cancer.

Each year, about 50 children from our area are diagnosed with cancer. Fortunately, these children have access to the latest cancer treatments right here at home through the Children’s Cancer Center at Children’s Hospital at Erlanger.

This year is dedicated to

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You can help. Join Jack and friends from Children’s Hospital on June 9th at the Chattanooga Market for the Annual Jack’s Chattanoggins. Sign up today to shave, volunteer or donate. presenting sponsor

chattanoogapulse.com • May 30—june 5, 2013 • The Pulse • 23

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