The Pulse 10.23 » June 6-12, 2013

Page 1

June 6, 2013

Vol. 10 • No. 23

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Craft beer chattanooga is developing a beer culture all its own. in a little over 100 years, we’ve gone from beer feast to famine, and now back to feast again. Check out the journey and hear from chattanooga’s top craft beer brewers.

MUSIC a skynyrd odyssey tech lessons of big data theater “monster”


2 • The Pulse • june 6-12, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com


THIS WEEK june 6-12 IN THE PULSE

Chattanooga’s

oldest Continually operating

Craft Brewery

Downtown 222 Broad Street 423-267-2739 Hamilton Place 2020 Hamilton Plc. Blvd. 423-553-7723

is S Fathe und r’s D ay, a Jun y e 16

not so fast with the thumbs up Mr. Galifianakis screen P26

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Amy Allara • Chee Chee Brown Jessica Gray • John Holland • Rick Leavell Jerry Ware

CONTACT

EDITORIAL

Editor Mike McJunkin Assistant Editors Janis Hashe, Gary Poole Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • Zachary Cooper Cody Maxwell • John DeVore • Janis Hashe Matt Jones • Mike McJunkin • Ernie Paik Gary Poole • Alex Teach • Richard Winham Photographers Kim Hunter • Josh Lang Interns Keeli Monroe • Carson O'Shoney

Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

Offices 1305 Carter St. • Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Web chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar calendar@chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2013 Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II

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chattanoogapulse.com • june 6-12, 2013 • The Pulse • 3


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the strut

The Joytime Will Certainly Be Jumpin’ Last year, public outcry saved the Bessie Smith Strut from being uprooted from MLK Boulevard and moved to the Riverfront. Yet many felt the controversy and the way the city handled beefed-up security damaged the feel of the Riverbend highlight. But the Strut is back for 2013 on Monday, June 10 with a great line-up—so if you gave it a pass last year, get your mouth ready for turkey drumsticks and a whole lotta good music this year. Especially exciting: headliner Pimps of Joytime, that Brooklyn-based-by-wayof-New Orleans, genre-busting, just downright irresistible group of mad funksters. Haven’t heard the word? Google “Janxta Funk” and see what we’re talking about. The Strut schedule includes: • 5:15 p.m. Deacon Bluz at the Trestle stage • 5:30 p.m. Scotty Bratcher at the Bessie Smith Cultural Center • 6:45 p.m. Eric Sardinas at the Trestle stage • 7:00 p.m. Pimps of Joytime at the Bessie Smith Cultural Center • 8:15 p.m. James “Nick” Nixson at the Trestle stage • 8:30 p.m. Dedra Ruff and Ruff Pro at the Bessie Smith Cultural Center Cost is $5 through June 8 (without a Riverbend pin); $10 day of (without a Riverbend pin). Those with a pin will still pay $5 to get into the Strut. Visit bessiesmithcc.org for more information. —Staff

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Hot Rod Power Tour

Revving It Up At Chatt State Pull your leather jacket out of the closet. The Hot Rod Power Tour is coming back to Chattanooga. The tour is a seven-day, seven city event, during which thousands of people drive their beloved hot rods, muscle cars, custom trucks and more from city to city. Now in its 19th year, the tour returns to Chattanooga after first stopping in the Scenic City in 2010. The event is expected to attract more than 6,000 participants and even more spectators, with an estimated local economic impact of $1 million. The local stop of the tour— “Coker Tire Cruise Night”— will take place June 6 at Chattanooga State Community College, from noon until 7 p.m. Admission is free for spectators, and locals who want to show off their own hot rods can register their cars for the day and participate in the activities. The sponsor of the event, Coker Tire, will also be throwing a free block party around their downtown offices at 1317 Chestnut St. beginning at 5 p.m. This party is meant to bring some of the hot rods to

the downtown area so more Chattanoogans can have a chance to rev their engines. If you love loud engines and fast cars, don’t miss out on this one-day-only event. The Power Tour doesn’t often visit cities twice, let alone three times, so this may be your last chance to hear those thousands of hot rods revving in harmony. For more information on registration or the events, visit www. hotrod.com. —Carson O’Shoney

Whiskey Women Unite

Make Mine a Manhattan If you are a sassy, philosophical, creative, unapologetic badass of the female variety who enjoys a frequent tumbler of Stumble Juice, the Whiskey Women want YOU. The Whiskey Women, founded in May 2012 and “figured out in April of 2013” is a new Nooga organization setting out to break the stereotype that whiskey is a drink to be enjoyed only by men. And, lucky you if you fit any of the aforementioned adjectives, because they’re doing it in your own backyard (well, kind of). Sounds like your idea of a feckin’ good time? Bring your-

self, a friend, and $20 (price includes two cocktails) to the bar at St. John’s Meeting Place, 1274 Market St., at 6 p.m. on Wed., June 12. Jack, George, Jim, Jameson, or Chattanooga’s own whiskey, as well as the fabulous Whiskey Women, will be waiting for you there. But before you go, be sure to peruse thewhiskeywomen.com while sophisticatedly sipping your favorite happy hour whiskey drink. There you’ll find an oasis of cocktail recipes, tips for stocking your home bar, witty whiskey-isms, whiskey history, and everyday life reflections and advice. What more could you possibly want, damnit? —Keeli Monroe

Maclellan Island

Get Your Ducks (and Herons) In A Row Ever wondered about the wonders awaiting you on that little island in the middle of the river? You need wonder no more if you join the Audubon Society for one of its weekly visits to Maclellan Island, made even more fabulous because you get there by Chattanooga Duck. The tour includes stops at the great blue heron rookery and the “rain-shadow” desert under the Veteran’s Bridge. A great urban mini-adventure and a fun way to spend half a day with out-of-town guests. Maclellan/Audubon Island Adventure, Sat., June 8, 9 a.m.noon. $16 adults, $14 teens, $8 ages 3-12, $5 ages 3 and under. Pre-registration required: ksimpson@chattaudubon.org —Staff


POLITICS

The ‘Place” We Call Brainerd Next District 6 Summit examines where plan goes next

By Janis Hashe When residents, businesspeople and city government representatives gather on June 7 for the “District 6 Summit,” one of the questions expected to be addressed is the speed—or lack thereof—at which proposed changes to Brainerd Road and adjacent areas are actually happening. The first “summit” on the subject, after all, took place April 18, 2008. But, says City Councilperson Carol Berz, who represents District 6, the redevelopment plan for the area is moving along just about on the timeline expected. “Although sometimes it seems to go slowly, in order for the outcome to be durable, a number of diverse entities have to be at the table and be heard,” she says. Progress is apparent, especially to those who haven’t been to Brainerd in a while. Berz cites “the ‘re-tooling’ of Eastgate and Brainerd Village, the new restaurants, the demolition of the vacant car dealer buildings at the levee and the design of the new park there, the Chamber [of Commerce]’s campaign to develop the ‘midTown’ concept as an area of enrichment, enlightenment and energy, and the many people from within and outside the District who have joined together to create a vision and make that vision happen.” Challenges, however, remain.

“Perhaps the next big hurdle and the one that will be featured at this next summit is the implementation of zoning ordinances that emphasize the concept of ‘place,’” Berz says. One of the June 7 meeting’s highlights, she says, will be representatives from the Chattanooga-Hamilton County Regional Planning Agency “talking about the project they are working on to standardize and bring up-todate the ordinances for zoning, construction, signage, etc. to go along with the Brainerd Road Corridor Plan.” Regional Planning Agency Executive Director John Bridger also refers to the concept of “place” when discussing what he will present at the summit. “First, we have to establish a common understanding about why the idea of ‘place’ is important; how it adds to value, not detracts from it. We all have a role in creating ‘place.’ Second,

we’ll talk about how that happens, with streetscapes, sidewalks, signage…We want to establish Brainerd as a gateway, not a throughway.” Both Berz and Bridger note that changing codes for what is permitted on the busy artery will be difficult, but key to increasing its urban appeal. “Codes are by nature very black and white,” says Bridger. “But if we are going to build in a community, some standards are demanded. The challenge will be in building in enough flexibility to the codes that each individual situation can be evaluated fairly.” He points to places on Brainerd Road where parking cannot be eliminated to create streetscapes. “A little bit of randomness is good,” he says. “We’re talking about a shared common investment that gives us the quality of place we all want.” Ultimately, those who actually live and work in Brainerd should

We want to establish Brainerd as a gateway, not a throughway — RPA Executive Director John Bridger

have quite a bit to say about changes. “People should attend the summit or other community meetings,” says Berz. “Get involved with neighborhood associations. Our accomplishments are the result of public/private partnership and good old-fashioned collaboration with individuals, neighborhood associations, community organizations, property owners, developers and city and county officials, all of whom are interested in making District 6 a model place to live, work and play. We have been grassroots from the beginning.” District 6 Summit, Friday, June 7, 8:30 -10:30 a.m., University of Phoenix, 1208 Pointe Circle Dr., #100. To receive information about meetings such as the District 6 Summit, send contact information to contact@ carolberz.com.

chattanoogapulse.com • june 6-12, 2013 • The Pulse • 5


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6 • The Pulse • june 6-12, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

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LIST

THE

pulse » PICKS • A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers.

Heading out to a music festival this summer? Find all the music you need for the ride.

Monday, June 10 Blood Assurance Blood Drive

Jack’s Chattanoggins Sunday, June 9 • 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Chattanooga Market, 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com

THU06.06 FESTIVAL New Dischord Festival featuring Michael Kallstrom, Ashley Hamilton and Tim Hinck • This highly anticipated four-day intermedia festival kicks off with the hard-to-define artwork of this talented artist improvisational trio. 5 p.m. • Tanner Hill Gallery, 3069 S. Broad St., (423) 280-7182, tannerhillgallery.com

Bill Fox, Big Kitty, Dark Rides, Blue River Hex, Bohannons, Dead Languages • Yes, there is plenty of music happening this weekend beyond the riverfront. 10 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

SAT06.08 COMPETITION

Big Daddy Love with Scenic City Breakdown

8th Annual 2013 NPC Battle at the River

• One of the most important new bands to watch in the East Coast roots rock and Americana community. 9 p.m. • The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com

• Bodybuilding, figure and bikini championships. Yowza! 6:30 p.m. • Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 642-TIXS, chattanoogaonstage.com

FRI06.07

MUSIC

COMEDY

• See her once, be a fan for life. 10 p.m. • The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). (423) 634-9191. facebook.com/theoffice.chatt

• Dryly observational humor covering schizo drug dealers to substitute lawyers. 8 p.m. • The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 6292233, thecomedycatch.com

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chattanoogapulse.com • june 6-12, 2013 • The Pulse • 7


CRAFT BEER

The Battle For John Barleycorn Beer’s bumpy—and now booming —ride through Chattanooga history • By Richard Winham • Photos by Josh Lang After giving alcohol the cold shoulder for much of the last century, Chattanooga is now embracing it as never before. The city has five independent craft beer breweries and will soon boast its first whiskey distillery. Livability. com recently placed Chattanooga at number 10 on its list of the Top 10 beer cities in the country; and Brent Stott and Larry Vance, owners of a company called Chattanooga Brew Tours, run visits to the city’s breweries for locals and tourists alike in a 14-seat school bus. To find a similarly thriving beer-brewing culture in Chattanooga, you’d have to go back 100 years. Between 1892 and 1909, the huge Chattanooga Brewing Company covered an entire block of Broad Street between 2nd and 3rd Streets downtown. Charles Reif, the son of a German immigrants from Cincinnati, moved to Chattanooga in 1890 when his father bought the Sunny South Brewery from Conrad Geise. All brewed well until 1909, when the so-called “drys”—members of the American Temperance Society anxious to stem the tide of

8 • The Pulse • june 6-12, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

alcohol in the state—managed to get a law passed halting “the production of intoxicating beverages for sale in Tennessee.” Of course, it’s one thing to pass a law and quite another to enforce it, particularly if most people don’t like it, as appears to have been the case. An 1837 report by the Tennessee state legislature on “tippling houses” in Tennessee suggests just how easy it was to sell liquor. That report found that virtually any entertainment establishment had the authority to sell “spirituous liquors.” Liquor licenses, according to the report, were “granted to almost every one applying . . . enabling all who chose, to indulge occasionally in a social glass.” This situation seemed in line with the desires of Tennessee’s citizenry. As the report noted, “Scarcely an instance of complaint was heard, that the rights and privileges of any citizen were curtailed, or his liberties infringed upon.” That most people not only didn’t like Tennessee’s 1909 antiliquor law, but often ignored it, is borne out by Paul Isaac, in his history of the period. Accord-

“A mix of art and science, craft brewing on the local level is a personalized profession.”

ing to Isaac, enforcement of the unpopular law required periodic “clean-up campaigns.” One such campaign was carried out in Chattanooga in February 1911, when “one hundred and seventy-five persons, including three members of the city council, were indicted, and the next year over a hundred more were fined, for selling intoxicants in Chattanooga.” Reif wasn’t a revolutionary or a scofflaw; he just wanted to make some money. In 1909, he changed the name of the company to the Purity Extract and Tonic Company and began marketing “near beer,” soft drinks and bottled water. With the passage of national prohibition in 1930, beer brewing completely dried up. Ten years later the Purity Extract and Tonic Company sold its huge brewing and bottling plant to Coca-Cola. It was more than 80 years before brewing beer resumed in Chattanooga—and even by the 1990s, it proved a difficult challenge. Until 1993, when Rob Gentry, along with his partner, Tim Hennen, opened Chattanooga’s first brewpub, Big River Grille, it was against the law to


brew beer in any county with less than a million people, and as a result, the only parts of the state with a brewpub were Memphis and Nashville. It was only after spending months lobbying the legislature to get the law changed that Gentry and Hennen opened Chattanooga’s first microbrewery. Gentry began the fight. He’d originally intended to revive the Chattanooga Brewing Company but couldn’t raise the required capital. It had been at least two generations since anybody had conceived of a brewery in Chattanooga, and with the law making it all but impossible to run a brewery and sell the beer directly from the premises, his concept held little promise. Gentry was about to give up on the idea when someone suggested that he talk to Tim Hennen. Hennen and his brother, Johnny, had run Yesterdays, a very successful bar, restaurant, and music hall in the 1970s and 1980s. With Hennen as his partner, Gentry finally successfully lobbied to change the law, and the two opened Big River, offering four craft beers along with a full menu. It was, accord-

ing to Gentry, an almost instant success. “The difficulty in the early days,” he said, “was just the sheer volume—keeping up (with the demand).” Initially they had four beers on tap—wheat, amber, pale ale and a stout. Their success was predicated as much on Gentry’s talents as a marketer as on Hennen’s skills as a restaurateur. From the outset the challenge was to convince their customers to try something new. The solution was giving it to them free of charge. Every customer was offered a small taster glass of any of the four styles of beer they were serving. Within a few weeks of opening, Gentry was brewing between 1,200 and 1,500 gallons of beer every week. Some of his early attempts at brewing were less than successful, but customers were willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, and as he began to get the hang of it, he developed a devoted following. A mix of art and science, craft brewing on the local level is a personalized profession. Like a good chef, each brewer produces a slightly different product—some-

times every time he or she brews a batch. But for his loyal customers, that was part of the fun. At the end of their first year in business, Gentry and Hennen wanted to celebrate. Gentry suggested a block party centered on the parking lot adjacent to the brewpub on Broad Street. “We called it ‘The Southern Brewers’ Festival’, said Gentry, giggling at the memory. “We did it on a lark, just for fun. We put a small stage in the corner of the parking lot, erected some tents…and we ran out of beer in about two hours.” They had to roll all of the empty kegs into the basement of Big River and fill them from the brewpub’s tanks. The annual festival has become a fixture, raising thousands of dollars for charity and showcasing beers from breweries all across the country. This year’s festival is scheduled for Saturday, August 24. Within a few years the Big River franchise had grown to 33 locations across the country and Gentry was worn out. Tired of traveling, he decided to open his own restaurant, The Blue Plate.

Initially, he was reluctant to add craft beers to the menu. But after selling his share in Big River he decided to add a pub to the restaurant. Now the Blue Plate shares the space with Local 191, Gentry’s new brewpub, selling “two or three” of Big River’s beers along with craft beers from other local brewers. The pub has 12 taps in all, but Gentry isn’t brewing. Someday that may change. “I miss working with the recipes, and sharing those recipes with the guests at the bar,” he said a little wistfully. “That connection between the guests and the brewer is really dynamic.”

A Brew For What Ales You Like most of the brewers in Chattanooga’s microbreweries, Mark Markum began as a home brewer. He was given a home brew kit for Christmas 1999 and began making five-gallon batches that he shared with his friends. In 2007, he and his partner Jonathan Clark opened the Chattanooga Brewing Company in a 1,200-square-foot-store front on Frazier Ave. on the North Shore.

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chattanoogapulse.com • june 6-12, 2013 • The Pulse • 9


After nearly a century, the grand dame of Chattanooga brewing was reborn. Markum and his partner sell most of their beer in local taverns, but about five percent of the 700 gallons of beer they brew every month is sold to customers who crowd the tiny barroom on weekend afternoons. Like Markum and other local aficionados, they’ve tired of the anodyne product from the huge commercial breweries. “Generally, craft beers will have more body and more taste because they use more grains and more hops in making them,” Markum explained. According to Markum, commercial beers like Budweiser and Miller are the result of a deal with the devil. The major brewers, he said, were trying to make beer “as cheaply as possible and make it taste just enough like beer so that it would pass…And, of course, it had alcohol in it to keep it from spoiling and to get you drunk.” Markum’s enthusiasm for his pale ales, stouts, lagers, and IPAs is borne out by the taste and the buzz. American pale ales tend to be “hoppier” and have a higher alcohol content (about 5.5 percent) than British Bass pale ale. American IPAs are even “hoppier” and have a higher alcohol

content (6.3 percent) than the pale ales, he said, chortling in delight. Like Gentry, Markum relishes making and sharing his product. But running a microbrewery is largely its own reward. Tennessee has the highest tax in the country on beer sold wholesale, and the profit on the small amount they sell in the taproom isn’t ever going to make them rich. So, after six years on Frazier Avenue, they’re moving into their own purpose-built brewpub on the Southside. Set to open by Christmas, it will feature 6,000 square feet of brewery space and 1,500 square feet of retail space, including a tasting room and a restaurant. The food will be designed to complement the beer rather than the other way around—Markum wouldn’t have it any other way. Three other microbreweries have opened in Chattanooga during the past few years, bearing out the perception among local brewers that the market for craft beers is “exploding.” McHale’s Brewhouse on Ashland Terrace opened in 2011 and The Terminal Brewhouse on Market Street, adjacent to the Chattanooga Choo Choo, began brewing in 2009. A couple of years earlier, Chris Hunt opened the Moccasin

Bend Brewery, whose motto is “Keep Moccasin Bend weird, and weird is good.” Regarded as a kind of mad scientist, Hunt takes pleasure in stretching people’s perceptions of what beer is and how it should taste. “We take a style of beer, and then we put our twist on it,” he said. “For example, our chocolate stout; it doesn’t contain any chocolate, but we discovered a malt combination that mimics that chocolate taste.” They also brew a smoked porter with “a bacon flavor” called “smoked porker.” Located in a warehouse built in the early 1940s of red wood and brick, it’s a relatively small brewery, producing between 240 ad 280 gallons a week. “We started off really small, and because of that we learned to brew a lot of different beers,” said Hunt, by way of explaining why he and his partner produced 45 different “brands” last year. This year, he intends to brew fewer styles, but his enthusiasm may well get the best of him. Moccasin Bend Brewery produces stouts, ales, lagers and sours. “We’re the only brewery in town, as far as I know, to create a sour (a Belgian-style beer made from both yeast and a bacteria

that gives it a sour taste). Anything Belgian, but especially the sours, are becoming really popular,” said Hunt. The tasting room (legally they can’t call it a bar) is tiny, just 640 square feet, but most people take their beer into the adjacent garden and eat from the food trucks parked nearby. Chattanooga’s most recent brewpub, McHale’s Brewery, run by brewer Adam Hale and his cousin, is on Ashland Terrace. Like Hunt, Hale exults in experimentation, but he’s loath to step too far outside the norm. “I mostly stick to the basic ingredients. I’ve always been interested in seeing what you can do with just a small palette of grains and the hops with different yeasts…the way you treat the yeast can make such a big difference. I occasionally may put other things in there. One of our beers is called ‘The Clementine,’ that’s made with Clementine oranges. We were only using the zest. It gave it that kind of orange-y perfume.” Big River became big money. But for the most part, so far at least, for the rest of these avid alchemists, their reward is the pleasure they bring to the growing number of drinkers they’ve introduced to a brew that everyone thought they already knew.

Prost!Good Friends. Good Food. Good Beer.

224 Frazier Avenue • 423.531.8490 Chattanooga’s German Gastropub 10 • The Pulse • june 6-12, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Mon - Sat 11am - Midnight • Sun 11am - 10pm www.BrewHausBar.com • Facebook.com/brewhausbar


LARGE SELECTION of

Beer & Food - BFFs forever FESTIVAL An introduction to pairing beer with food I’m going to go ahead and say what so many of us are already thinking. Beer pairs better with food than wine. I know that will seem blasphemous to my oenophilist friends, but hear me out before asking for my head as part on a charcuterie platter. Beer has a broader range of styles, flavors, components and finishes that can complement as well as contrast nearly any kind of food. It can be argued that craft beers are more complex than wine and provide more layers of flavor to work with when paired with food. If that seems hard to imagine, try asking a sommelier what wine would best be served with a platter of tamales, spicy Szechwan noodles, or a pulled pork sandwich. Now try to think of any food that can’t be matched with some type of beer—I couldn’t think of one either. It is true, however, that you

can’t pair just any beer with any food. There are some basic principles you should keep in mind when pairing that meal’s comestibles with one or more beers.

Birds of a feather: Beers

and foods of similar intensities will complement each other. A light, delicate dish would typically work better with lighter foods. A blond ale, for example, could be paired with chicken, salmon, light, nutty cheeses, or even lemon custard. However, there are times when you want contrast, say by pairing a hoppy, slightly bitter pale ale with a rich, cream sauce or a light lager to offset the heat of a spicy dish.

More than just the meat: There are more fla-

vors on the table than just the meat. Think about the other ingredients, dishes, and accompaniments that will be a

part of the meal when picking out the meal’s beer.

Plan the guest list in your mouth: When you

plan a party, you want a good mix of people so the interactions between them will add to the character of the soiree. The same principle applies to pairing beer with foods—you want the flavors to interact in interesting ways to keep your taste buds from getting bored. That can take the form of contrasting or complementary pairings—maybe even both in the same meal! For example, a clean, crisp beer will contrast beautifully against grilled or seared foods, but a smooth, brown ale would complement such a dish. Food and beer interaction takes place between the bitter, sweet, rich, spice, and carbonation elements within the pairing. Fatty foods, either sweet or savory, can be

matched with hoppy bitterness, fruity sweetness, roasted malt or even carbonation, which is particularly effective at cutting richness. For example, the hoppiness and malty sweetness of an India Pale Ale classically pairs well with strong, spicy foods such as Indian or Thai curries or roasted, barbecued meats. One final warning: With the popularity of spicy foods and higher alcohol content beers, it should be noted that alcohol is a solvent to capsaicin, the heat component in spicy foods. Drinking alcohol, even an ice-cold beer, can actually make the burn worse by spreading it throughout your mouth and throat. Sweeter, maltier beers with a low ABV are a better choice when eating that plate of Volcano Hot Wings or Cousin Ernest’s Butt Burn Chili. — Mike McJunkin

Flavor

Complement

Contrast

Light, sweet, citrus, tart

Clean / Crisp

Dark, roasted malt

Grilled, seared, blackened

Brown Ales

Clean / Crisp

Rich, creamy, buttery

Dark, roasted malt

Clean / Crisp

Chili, spicy

Citrus / Fruity

Clean / Crisp

Savory, dark sauced

Sweet / Malty

Citrus / Fruity

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chattanoogapulse.com • june 6-12, 2013 • The Pulse • 11


Check out our great selection of high gravity beers!

By Cody Maxwell

My Lynyrd Skynyrd Odyssey

Come see why we’re the liquor store with a smile!

3849 Dayton Blvd. • Ste. 113 423.877.1787 At the corner of Morrison Springs Road and Dayton Boulevard in the Bi-Lo Shopping Center

12 • The Pulse • june 6-12, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

(By Way of Jack Kerouac)

As soon as it was announced, eyes began rolling and the hipsters started laughing and cracking jokes about the fact that Lynyrd Skynyrd are again playing Chattanooga’s biggest music festival. “Here comes Ringgold!” “Play some Skynyrd!” has been heard a time or two in the Pickle Barrel—that well-known derogatory shout being pointed at the old land o’ cotton’s inbred, chickenfighting culture. Requests for Skynyrd are always shouted in the hipster arenas anytime someone wants to degrade where they come from—to shake their heads smiling and hope someone recognizes their wit and how far they’ve risen above their embarrassing roots. “Freebird!” is especially chiding—ask one of

the Bohannon brothers or the folks at JJ’s Bohemia how many times they’ve heard that one. But Lynyrd Skynyrd is a hell of a rock ’n roll band. There’s never been another one like them, and the audacity with which they embraced their Southern roots was unheard of in when they first appeared. The group

arose from a prevailing attitude in popular music epitomized when Billie Holiday sang: Southern trees bear a strange fruit/Blood on the leaves and blood at the root/Black bodies swingin’ in the Southern breeze/Strange fruit hangin’ from the poplar trees When Lynyrd Skynyrd arrived, the South was still being depicted as a bizarre, bloody land peopled by a race of hateful, backwoods cotton farmers. Bob Dylan sang “Oxford Town,” where everybody had “their heads bowed down” in shame. Neil Young sang “Alabama” and “Southern Man.” None of these songs named names—they pointed their fin-


ger at the entire South. Neil Young’s crossburning “Southern Man” was every man. Then Lynyrd Skynyrd came along. These boys didn’t give a damn—they sang “Sweet Home Alabama” and told Neil Young he should remember that a “Southern man don’t need him around anyhow.” They sang “Mississippi Kid,” about having pistols in their pockets and not looking for trouble “but nobody dogs me around.” Lynyrd Skynyrd stepped up and confronted the cultural bully and made Southern folks proud

the darkness. I took off my shirt and exulted.” My Kerouac obsession knew no bounds— I was too young to follow his trail all the way to New Orleans but I was following Tim Blair around to find the angel-headed hipsters that were surely beating around in my neck of the woods. But I didn’t find angels with Tim. I found yard birds picking through the dirt. He took me to indoor dog fights in bloody living rooms. I heard whispers of murders at the dog fights—of men

like a simple love song means something strangely personal when you’re riding drunk down a dark Georgia back road and the song says: “…and this bird you’ll never change.” Tim looked over at me smiling when that famous guitar solo started up. He waved at the dark Georgia landscape and said, “This song was for us.” Every time I hear “Freebird,” I hear Tim in my head telling me that I’m with him and this song was for us. But my old buddy probably won’t be at Riverbend to hear

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What seems like a simple love song means something strangely personal when you’re riding drunk down a dark Georgia back road and the song says, ‘. . . and this bird you’ll never change.’

to be Southern again. They meant something to a lot of people—and they gallantly warned Neil Young that “down in Alabama you can run but you sure can’t hide.” And then, of course, there’s “Freebird”— the Southern anthem. I have a peculiar memory attached to that song. When I was a boy I spent a lot of time running around north Georgia back roads. I rode with this man named Tim Blair. He was a rough, mean bastard that got backwoods respect everywhere he went. I was on a Kerouac kick back then and had read “On the Road” more than once. There were a few lines from the book in particular that got me close to home. “We got out of the car for air,” he wrote, “and suddenly both of us were stoned with joy to realize that in the darkness all around us was fragrant green grass and the smell of warm waters. ‘We’re in the South! We’ve left the winter!’ I took a deep breath; a locomotive howled across

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being chopped up and fed to the hogs. I didn’t see the fruit but I saw Billie Holiday’s strange trees. I could see how the crosses could catch fire. Those were good times, though, and there were always plenty of good dumb jokes to go around—of which I, being that perpetually shirtless, curly-haired boy with some weird book in his pocket, was often the butt—and one time they pissed me off. I told Tim what he could go do to himself and took off walking down the road, immediately expecting my ass to be stomped. But Tim laughed instead and dragged me back. He slapped the back of my head, handed me a Budweiser and told me to “Come on, you’re with us.” One night Tim and I were drunk, riding in his truck with the radio blaring. “Freebird” had just come on. I’d heard the song a thousand times. There was something about that chorus, though—what seems

Freebird this year. I haven’t talked to him in a long time. The last time I saw him he didn’t recognize me—he was on the white man’s crack. He’s surely dead or in jail or somewhere between the two now. The hipsters will be out, though. They always are. I doubt they will be going see Lynyrd Skynyrd—they will be on restaurant patios and downtown bar porches, nursing beers and playing Riverbend bingo. They’ll look up to laugh or disdainfully smirk at the passersby—those with leather boots and hair on their faces and chains attached to their billfolds. I’ll be there, too—though not with the hipsters.I gave up on hipsters when I realized Kerouac was a phoney. I’ll probably be staggering down some downtown street towards the Coca-Cola stage with booze in my back pocket and hollering “Freebird!” so those on the patios can put another beer cap on their Riverbend bingo boards. chattanoogapulse.com • june 6-12, 2013 • The Pulse • 13


Between the Sleeves record reviews • ernie paik

T

! anooga Y A D O N T chatt

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find us on facebook for each week’s pint night and sunday local brews! Pizza • Salads • Calzones • Hoagies • Munchies Downtown at 205 Broad St. (423)266-5564 Waterside at 2318 Lifestyle Way (423) 468-3737 Open Mon - Thur 11am - 10pm, Fri - Sat 11am - 12am, Sun 11am - 10pm 14 • The Pulse • june 6-12, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

he California-based musical megalomaniac Frank Maston amazingly plays every instrument on his proper debut album Shadows, with the exception of the harp, and even more astoundingly, it’s recorded with the timbres and sound quality of certain authentic ’60s predecessors, making Maston the listener Shadows think incor(Trouble in Mind) rectly on more than one occasion that perhaps portions are sampled from decades-old records. Maston’s Brian Wilson influence is most obvious, practically coming out and throttling the listener on the opening “Strange Rituals,” with piercing, metronomic organ chords that scream “Beach Boys.” It works

T

he band name Little Women only makes sense if it refers to what the band eats for breakfast. This Brooklyn quartet’s previous releases, Teeth and Throat, for the most part were balls-tothe-wall, over-thetop, insanely intense affairs, going beyond such hyphenated genre mixtures as thrash-jazz Little Women or noiseLung rock. The (AUM Fidelity) group is fronted by two saxophonists who are rising stars on the downtown jazz scene and skilled and formidable players, Travis Laplante on tenor sax and Darius Jones on alto; electric guitarist Andrew Smiley and drummer Jason Nazary complete the fearless lineup. Going from the titles of the band’s releases, there’s an obvious biological theme, and the group has described its four members as each being one chamber of a heart, maintaining both a group identity as well as indi-

perfectly to set the scene, suggesting a fog of intrigue with a mysterious tremolo electric guitar melody, suggesting spaghetti western soundtracks, and also more playful, choice guitar strums that hint at Esquivel’s inventive space-age pop. With glockenspiel and trombone glides, among the many various flourishes, some might find the “everything but the kitchen sink” instrumentation to be ostentatious, but it works here. The next track in the salvo, “(You Were) in Love” shamelessly continues the Beach Boys love, but this time there’s a more sunny disposition with a not-perfectly-tuned saloon piano pulse and Maston’s obscured vocals that venture into the falsetto range. “Young Hearts” offers clearer vocals and a few twists on the now-familiar Brian Wilson obsession, with details poking their heads out of the ground in the form of brass responses and floating organ chords. Although its highlights are impressive, at times, when the cores of the songs themselves aren’t as strong, one might think that Shadows favors style much more than substance. At a lean 27 minutes, the album is certainly vibrantly and expertly recorded, but a few things are holding it back; a little more vocal variety would be welcome, if Maston relinquishes just a little control to other singers perhaps, and Shadows seems like it would have been a perfect EP, if it cut some of the less vital songs. vidual personalities. One might be tempted to call it free jazz—and aficionados of more extreme free jazz may enjoy Little Women— but instead of having free-for-alls or choreographed free-for-alls, the quartet uses group improvisations in order to put the pieces together for solidified compositions. The new album Lung, all 42 minutes of which are intended to be heard in one uninterrupted sitting, is a bit of a departure from the band’s trademark bone-shaking, dense onslaught. True to its name, the album features ample time to breathe, with lots of space to let notes resonate. Beginning quietly from a blanket of silence, eventually a few soft percussion taps set the scene before the saxes and guitar enter calmly. This leads to sustained-tone vocalizations before a shattering sax squawk acts as a milestone; woozy electric guitar strums and pitterpatters evoke uncertainty before another wave of silence. Lung is Little Women’s most complicated piece yet, not content with loudsoft-loud cartoony dynamics and unfurling with bleats, fluttering, thrashings, slashings and tender counterpoint at various stages. Conveying the “downfall of something beautiful,” in the band’s own words, Lung is a labyrinthine journey that confounds, soothes and stimulates, revealing a band that’s much more complex than previously imagined.


Sound Check

Peace, Wub & Understanding

Weird Bass Music Festival shakes up Pelham By Keeli Monroe The Weird Bass Music Festival, happening June 7-9, is a brand-new music festival designed for festival lovers by festival lovers…especially those of the basshead variety. (Wub. ) VanDub Productions, the company organizing the event, has up until this point specialized in events designed for a club setting. A mutual love of small music festivals and EDM (Electronic Dance Music) changed that. VanDub is taking their event organizing expertise into the great outdoors on a private farm in Pelham, TN; let’s just hope all that bass doesn’t cause an earthquake. Nicole Denton with VanDub Productions said the idea behind the festival was to provide an environment where the natural “utopia” that is found at smaller music festivals can develop and flourish. The goal of

Weird is for bassheads and EDM fans from all over the country to come together and create their own little ecosystem for the weekend, one in which you can walk around and see the same familiar faces, and no one gets lost in the “hustle.” VanDub wants Weird to be a place where people come to celebrate life and music. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt that they’ll have warm showers and port-o-potties that are cleaned daily. Parking is free, and you can camp in your car. (Bass drop— Ooooommmmmm.) As of now, festival organizers are expecting around 1,500 people, but the festival will be capped off at 3,000, to make sure that “small festival” feeling is present. VanDub Productions has hired Captivating Light Designs out of Atlanta to make sure your eyes are as pleased as your ears are going to be. Both companies have gone to great lengths to make sure

each stage at the event will have its own unique feeling and personality (can you say 3D mapping?). Attendees should expect nothing less than full sensory immersion. When asked how the lineup was constructed, Nicole said they simply picked the musicians people in the EDM community would want to hear. Headliners include Helicopter Showdown, Dieselboy, and Run DMT. AFK, Cryptex, Megalodon, and more than 50 others will also be there. Tickets are $69 in advance, or $80 at the gate. Put on your best bass face, grab your glow sticks, and come drop bass (not bombs). Weird Bass Music Festival June 7-9, 516 Taylor Rd., Pelham, TN facebook.com/ weirdmusicfest

chattanoogapulse.com • june 6-12, 2013 • The Pulse • 15


Chattanooga Live

CHATTANOOGA

MUSIC CALENDAR BRING ON THE NEW DISCHORD

Thu 06.06

LIVE MUSIC

JUNE

6 SLIPPERY WHEN WET FRI. 10p 7 SAT. ONE 10:15p 8 WED. DANK SINATRA 10p 12 SEVEN HANDLE CIRCUS FRI. 10p 14 FALLACY

THU. ALL THE ROCK & ROLL YOU CAN HANDLE 9:30p

A TRIBUTE TO BON JOVI

AN AMAZING TRIBUTE TO U2 with NEW MADRID

with CICADA RHYTHM

6.15 SINNER OF ATTENTION 6.19 ERIC HEATHERLY 6.20 ERICK BAKER 6.21 BREAKFAST CLUB ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

Thursday, June 6: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, June 7: 9pm Jack Kirton of Endelouz Saturday, June 8: 10pm Amber Fults Tuesday, June 11: 7pm

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Facebook.com/theoffice.chatt

Scenic City Roots: Elizabeth Cook, Sons of Fathers, Jacob Jones, Black Jake & the Carnies, The Old Time Travelers 7 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323, track29.co An Evening with Malcolm Goldstein 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org The Dark Side Party with DJ Lord Fader 8 p.m. Backyard Grille, 4021 Hixson Pike. (423) 486-1369, backyardgrillechattanooga. com Big Daddy Love, Scenic City Breakdown 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com Fallacy 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Open Mic with Hap Henniger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn. (423) 634-9191, facebook.com/theofficechatt Aye Nako, Sal Atticum, Monstertruck 10 p.m. Sluggo’s, 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224

Fri 06.07 Weird Bass Music Festival 9 a.m. 516 Taylor Rd. Pelham, TN. facebook. com/weirdmusicfest Bend on the Run: 2nd South Carolina String Band 2 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310, lib.chattanooga.gov Riverbend: Jake Owen, Florida Georgia Line, Jimmy Tawater & The River City Showcase, Almost Elton John, more 5 - 12 p.m. Riverbend Festival, Ross’s Landing

16 • The Pulse • june 6-12, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

• As part of the 3rd Annual New Dischord Festival, the acclaimed violinist Malcolm Goldstein will make his first Chattanooga appearance in more than a decade! A major figure in 20th-century music—as a composer, instrumentalist and interpreter of the major composers—Goldstein’s appearances in the southeast are exceedingly rare. Goldstein’s solo violin performances are exquisite and transformative, and his work with other artists— musicians, dancers, and visual artists—is invariably fascinating. $20 ($10 students). Thursday, June 6, 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org

Park, Riverfront Pwy. riverbendfestival.com Dismembered Tennesseeans 7 p.m. Nightfall Music Series, River City Stage at Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Lon Eldridge 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Paul Smith & the Sky High Band 7:30 p.m. Backyard Grille, 4021 Hixson Pike. (423) 486-1369, backyardgrillechattanooga. com Elizabeth Cook 8 p.m. Nightfall Music Series, River City Stage at Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Jack Kirton of Endelouz 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). (423) 634-9191, facebook.com/theofficechatt Mountain Opry 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmont Pike, Signal Mountain.

(423) 886-3252 Roostertruck, Subkonscious 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground Music, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 265-8711 Southlander 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, skyzoochattanooga.com Bill Fox, Big Kitty, Dark Rides, Blue River Hex, Bohannons, Dead Languages 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com Unspoken Triumph, Aether Realm, Wilderun, Naming Nations 10 p.m. Sluggo’s, 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224 Slippery When Wet: Tribute to Bon Jovi 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

Sat 06.08 Weird Bass Music Festival 9 a.m. 516 Taylor Road,

Pelham, TN. facebook. com/weirdmusicfest The Old Time Travelers 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com Jennifer Daniels 12:30 - 3 p.m. Chattanooga River Market, Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Riverbend: Cee-Lo Green, The Sundogs, The Barr Brothers, Revival, Chattanooga All-Star Band, more 5:30 - 12 p.m. Riverbend Festival, Ross’s Landing Park, Riverfront Pkwy. riverbendfestival.com Children 18:3, Truly Truly, Fancy Me a Madman, Cathlena, Wilmington 7 p.m. Warehouse Cleveland, 260 2nd Street NE. warehousevenue.com UpTown Big Band 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. Mountain Arts Community Center, 809 Kentucky Ave., Signal Mtn. (423) 866-1959 Malcolm Goldstein Directs the New Dischord Players


Chattanooga Live

MUSIC CALENDAR Bratcher, Deacon Bluz 5:15 p.m. - 8:30 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658, bessiesmithcc.org Bessie Smith AfterStrut Party: Jonathan Poe, Canadian Coldfront and Sly Tiger 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

Tue 06.11

children 18:3 rock into cleveland • Cutting your face like glass shrapnel, you'll hear classic song structure, guitar crunch, and fast driving beats with Minnesota-based Children 18:3. Just the right blend of melody and muscle, exchanged between the male and female voices onstage, to make this bit more universal than simple two-dimensional aggression. You'll hear songs, not just riffs with outfits. Rock songs you can grab hold of, yet completely raw in presentation. And finally, the words are defiant, poetic, and communal. An experience you'll long remember. $10, Saturday, June 8, 7 p.m. Warehouse Cleveland, 260 2nd Street NE. warehousevenue.com

7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Marshall Law Band 8 p.m. The Backyard Grille, 4021 Hixson Pike. (423) 486-1369, backyardgrillechattanooga. com Maycomb Cryers 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, skyzoochattanooga.com With Faith or Flames, Voyage of Slaves, Every Word a Prophecy 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com Amber Fults 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). (423) 634-9191, facebook.com/theofficechatt One: Tribute to U2 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

Sun 06.09 Weird Bass Music Festival 9 a.m. 516 Taylor Rd. Pelham, TN. facebook. com/weirdmusicfest Jennifer Daniels 12:30 - 1:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Open Improvisational Jam 2 - 4 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Wendell Matthews 4 p.m. North Chatt Cat, 346 Frazier Ave. (423) 266-9466 Open Jam with Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Backyard Grille, 4021 Hixson Pike. (423) 486-1369, backyardgrillechattanooga. com Chattanooga Traditional Irish Music Session 5 p.m. Moccasin Bend Brewing Company, 4015 Tennessee Ave. (423) 821-6392

Riverbend: Brandy, 10,000 Maniacs, Scotty Bratcher, Tim Wilson, Mountain Heart, Deacon Bluz, more 5:30 - 11 p.m. Riverbend Festival, Ross’s Landing Park, Riverfront Pkwy. riverbendfestival.com Created to Kill, Cranial Impalement 6 p.m. Ziggy’s Underground Music, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 265-8711 “In the Round” with Chris Porter 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com Peewee Moore and the Awful Dreadful Snakes 10 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919

Riverbend: Newsboys, Voices of Lee, Red Letter Disciple, Andrew Alford, more 5 - 11 p.m. Riverbend Festival, Ross’s Landing Park, Riverfront Pkwy. riverbendfestival.com Floatstone 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com

Wed 06.13 Riverbend: Dierks Bentley, The Psychedelic Furs, Civil Twilight, Roger Alan Wade & Sparkle Motion, Harper & Midwest Kind, more 5 - 11 p.m. Riverbend Festival, Ross’s Landing Park, Riverfront Pkwy. riverbendfestival.com Endless Cycle, The Resolute, Subkonscious 8 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192, thehonestpint.com Dank Sinatra, New Madrid 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

Mon 06.10 Bessie Smith Strut: Dedra Smith & Ruff Pro, James “Nick” Nixon, The Pimps of Joytime, Eric Sardinas, Scotty

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com. chattanoogapulse.com • june 6-12, 2013 • The Pulse • 17


Featured Dining

by Gary Poole

Getting “Elemental” with craft beer and fine food Craft Beer Week June 17 • 6.30-8.30 p.m. 4 Courses • 4 Pairings from Chattanooga Brewing Company Tickets go on sale 6/5 at Elemental Food and Drink or Chattanooga Brewing Company A portion of the proceeds will benefit the Chickamauga Creek Conservancy

The first thing you’ll notice when you walk through the doors of Elemental is the wide-open kitchen in full view. The second thing you’ll notice is the large farm tractor in the middle of the dining room. Glancing over at the chalkboard in the entryway, the third thing you’ll notice is this is a restaurant that takes beer very seriously. For years, beer was something people drank in bars, at ball games, cookouts, or alongside a simple meal. Traditionally, American beer drinkers didn’t have many choices, as several large

We shaped our whole business model around the relationship we can have with vendors, whether it be a brewer or a farmer.

breweries dominated the market (and still do) and kept selections simple. But like the sea change in coffee consumption that began two decades ago, beer is undergoing a radical identity change, led by a new generation of consumers and chefs. Charlie Loomis, chef and owner of Elemental, represents that new generation. “I grew up on Folgers instant and I didn’t really care for it much,” he recalls. “Then I remember the first time I had a great cup of coffee. It was the same with beer. I tasted my dad’s Budweiser, but when I was able to find depth

in a beer, flavor profiles, pairings and stuff like that, it all changed.” His restaurant carries only craft beers, the majority brewed in the Southeast. “We shaped our whole business model around the relationship we can have with vendors, whether it be a brewer or a farmer,” Loomis explains. “Each of the breweries that we currently carry, they’d be happy to come down and do a beer demo with us. And that’s something we like.” But it goes further than that. Not that long ago, you’d never see beer in a high-quality restaurant. That is changing and changing rapidly, because chefs and restaurant owners like Loomis are increasingly likely to pair fine food with craft beers instead of wine. “We see quite a bit of that now. I think it’s just kind of evolved into it as the beer business has changed,” he says. “I think we are going to change the game. Just look at the way food is going. People want to know where it comes from, where it’s been.” “You’ve always known where wine comes from,” Elemental manager Ray Jones points out. “You get the big spiel when you go out to dinner: where it comes from, which vineyard, this that and the other. Now it’s the same with beer.”

“It’s almost easier to pair beer with food than it is wine,” says Loomis. “For example, IPA goes great with pork barbecue. The richness from the pork and the sweetness from the barbecue sauce gets paired really nicely with the bitterness of a hoppy beer.” But one of the big changes Loomis has noted is how much more involved people are with the food they eat and the beer they drink. “I think people are just asking a lot more questions,” Loomis says. “I’ve been in the restaurant business for a long time, and when I first started coming up people were like, ‘This is lamb? Great. Oh, and green beans and scalloped potatoes? Fantastic.’ That was it. Now, our customers ask me where everything comes from. If I don’t have the answer for them, they are not excited about it. The clientele we’ve started developing—they want to know about everything.” Elemental Food & Drink

313 Manufacturers Rd, (423) 648-9160, elementalrestaurant.com Mon-Thu: 11 a.m. – 10 p.m. Fri-Sat: 11 a.m. – 11 p.m. Sunday: 10 a.m. – 3 p.m.

Grace Frank Group: Your Summer Home Guide For All Your Real Estate Needs

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18 • The Pulse • june 6-12, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

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Incline Summer of Fun Concert 2013 Schedule May 25-27 June 22 June 29 July 4-6 July 13 July 20 July 27 August 3 August 10 August 17 August 24 August 31 Sept 1-2

Musical Moose/Ogya Ogya Caterina Sellars Ogya/Rick Rushing & Blues Strangers Musical Moose Dana Rogers Ogya Ogya Rick Rushing/ Caterina Sellars Ogya John Ralston/Kathy Veazey/Dana Rogers Ogya/Lumbar 5 Ogya/Lumbar 5

Music Performed 10 AM - 5 PM chattanoogapulse.com • june 6-12, 2013 • The Pulse • 19


Fix What’s Broken Break What’s Fixed Dan Ryan returns to his first Gig By Rich Bailey

D

an Ryan likes to break things. “My mantra here is, ‘I’ll help you fix everything that’s broken and break everything that’s fixed,’” says Ryan. Last year he used that knack for creative destruction to help make the Obama For America website a campaign fundraising powerhouse, and this summer he’s using helping the companies in the Gig Tank start-up accelerator program.

After working as a web develhandle it,” he says. oper in Chattanooga for 13 years, While a business incubator Ryan led the front-end developwants to help companies come ment team for the Obama web into being, he says, “An accelerasite, creating the web software tor wants to get you born or to get that ran on browsers, as opposed you to die quick. Can we get you to the server software. As Gig through this process of launchTank technologist in ing a business in 90 residence, he advises days, so if it doesn’t all the companies work you haven’t comparticipating this mitted two years of summer—as well as your life and a million CO.LAB, which runs dollars? A lot of that is the Gig Tank—on infailing fast.” RICH frastructure, scaling On the Obama site, bailey and user interface. “big data” ruled the “It’s better that we roost. Decisions about break it and figure out where web design issues, such as how to the failure points are, and corask for donations, had immedirect them before you launch, ate, tangible consequences: inthan to launch it and have your creasing or decreasing receipts. service go down and you lose all Those decisions were based on your customer base because the data from extensive testing— one day you have buzz you can’t which pulls more donations: A

Tech

color or black-and-white photo of the President? A photo of the President or the First Lady? (Answers: color, and the First Lady)—and on crunching massive amounts of data, rather than extrapolating based on a small sample. It turns out that testing a theory against data is a lot like failing often. Ryan says his team came to the campaign with a lot of ideas about effective web design. The campaign web site had so many visitors and transactions

DINE IN

that for the first time in most of their careers, they had enough data to determine if their ideas were correct. “We were right about half the time,” he says. “That was a big learning thing, too, coming to grips with the fact that your gut is tossing a coin. There were times I would have bet everything I own in a test that one side was going to lose and it won. After about the third time it happened, I just stopped trying to figure out what they would do.”

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20 • The Pulse • june 6-12, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

One result was that there were very few judgment calls, a rarity in web design. “It’s actually kind of nice,” says Ryan. “The pressure is not on you any more. The pressure is on coming up with good tests to run.” Now he’s bringing the lessons of big data to Gig Tank companies. For example, some are building services to analyze data for other businesses. He posed an unexpected question to them: »P21


Are they using big data on themselves, to test their own assumptions? “That was a fun conversation,” says Ryan. “I watched their gears spinning. They need to know if they’re getting wins for people.” This kind of testing means questioning a company’s most fundamental assumptions about itself and its product, which is where some of Silicon Valley’s biggest successes have come from. Twitter began as an internal communications tool for a company whose original product

“The things that we build on the Gig that are really important are probably not going to be really sexy.” — Dan Ryan

failed. Flickr was initially a minor feature that turned out to be better than the original product. Both only became huge successes because a company was willing to question its assumptions and rethink itself. Following the widely recognized success of the Obama site, Ryan has traveled around the country consulting and speaking. He says a lot of his campaign colleagues, “When I kept talking about coming back to Chattanooga after the campaign were kind of stunned. Like why would you

do that? Why not go to San Francisco, make a bunch of money?” But after years helping to develop a technology culture in Chattanooga, he saw things changing rapidly in the 15 months he was in Chicago working on the campaign. “I was jealous of not being here and seeing some of this stuff happen,” he says. In the same way the interstate highway system didn’t change transportation patterns right away, he thinks the effects of gigabit Internet and the Gig Tank

start-up accelerator will not show up immediately. “The things that we build on the Gig that are really important are probably not going to be really sexy,” he says, like using less coal power because the Gig makes EPB’s electrical grid smarter and more efficient. “It will be a while before you see big flashy things that come out of high-speed Internet, but the infrastructure changes will affect people on a massive scale,” says Ryan. “It’s the electrification of the valley all over again.”

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ARTS

The Tale That Never Dies

By Janis Hashe

Theater for the New South takes on “Monster” I t ’ s almost 9 p.m. on a T hursday night, and director Blake Harris is giving notes to the cast of “Monster,” Theater for the New South’s production that opens June 7. A large unpainted platform occupies most of the middle of the UTC Studio Theatre staging area. Some cast members have on bits of costume pieces, others are in casual rehearsal wear. It’s the fact that they are in a theatre at all that’s out of the ordinary for Harris and TNS. The company has become known for productions in “found spaces,” and, Harris says, its followers have come to expect that. But Neal Bell’s “Monster,” which premiered off-Broadway in 2002, has technical demands that require an actual theatre, he says. “In particular, we needed lighting, because Bell’s adaptation is faithful to the original Mary Shelley story—except,” he says, “that the playwright has imposed an ending on it.” Of course, ever since Shelley’s novella was published in 1818, its most intriguing idea has been: Who is really the monster? Is it the being created from human cadavers? Is it the scientist attempting to play God? Is it the onlookers, so terrified of anything they can’t explain that their only impulse is to destroy it? Or is it, asks Harris, the readers, and in this

honest music

I’ve been exploring isolation with the characters of Victor and Elizabeth. What happens when the natural is made unnatural? — Blake Harris

case, audience members? “Monster,” as Harris describes it, is a memory play, Victor Frankenstein’s memory of these people and events. Set in the period in which it was written, the production will nonetheless meld “period” costumes with the imagination of designer Angela

Sweet and classical music with that composed for the production by Tim Hinck. “For this show, we have lighting, set, costumes, sound and music designers,” says Harris. “We asked all these collaborators to challenge themselves,” in working within the experimental

mission of TNS. “And what better way to end our season two,” says Harris, “than with a play that is about an experiment?” The connection makes even more sense if you consider that

local and regional shows

Big Daddy Love with Scenic City Breakdown [$5] Endless Cycle with Subkoncious [$3] The Royal Hounds with My Name is Drew [$5] Tillford Sellers with the Wagon Burners with Hot Damn [$5]

Thu, June 6 Wed, June 12 Thu, June 13 Wed, June 19

Sundays: Live Trivia 4-6pm followed by Live Music June 16: Sons of Hippies with Isle of Rhodes [$5] June 23: WB Givens [Free]

22 • The Pulse • june 6-12, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

9pm 9pm 9pm 9pm

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«P22

Home Games Thu, June 6 • 7:15 PM vs. Mississippi Braves Beer Tasting Night

Wed, June 19 • 7:15 PM vs. Tennessee Smokies

Thu, June 20 • 7:15 PM vs. Tennessee Smokies Health & Wellness Night

Fri, June 21 • 7:15 PM vs. Tennessee Smokies Fireworks!

Sat, June 22 • 7:15 PM vs. Tennessee Smokies Baseball Card Giveaway

the “monster” is constructed and brought to life in Victor Frankenstein’s version of an “operating theater.” “We are treating this theatre just like a found space,” says Harris. He’s also fascinated with the story’s theme of isolation. “In Shelley’s own time, if you lived in a rural area, you were very isolated from other people. I’ve been exploring isolation with the characters of Victor and Elizabeth,” he says. “What happens when the natural is made unnatural?” In approaching the play with his actors, Harris allowed an acting style to evolve. “There are projects I go into already having the style I am seeking,” he says, “but that didn’t seem to fit this show. This became an organic process, and we discovered a kind of disconnect that has created its own style.” Ultimately, audience members seeing “Monster” will deal with the most basic of all questions. “This story is primal; it asks, ‘What is it to be human?’” Harris says. And in Bell’s version, “it’s the undercurrents of the story that will catch people off guard.” In a world where human cloning is, in fact, possible, and where artificial intelligence grows ever closer to sentience, its questions go far beyond even Mary Shelley’s nightmare inspiration.

“Monster”

Theater for the New South, 7:30 p.m. June 7- 8, 13-16, Jim G. Lewis Studio Theatre, UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 503-0589, facebook.com/theaterforthenewsouth

with the Chattanooga Symphony & Opera Includes music from Mario, Zelda, Final Fantasy, Warcraft, Halo, Skyrim, Castlevania, Pokemon, Kingdom Hearts, Metal Gear Solid, Super Smash Bros., Street Fighter II, Chrono Trigger, Chrono Cross, AND MANY MORE including the Tetris Opera and a Classic Arcade Medley featuring over 25 Classic Arcade games! Make sure to come early to take part in our Costume Contest, Prize Give-a-ways and the very popular Guitar Hero Competition (winner to appear on stage and perform with the Chattanooga Symphony!)

THURSDAY, JULY 11 • 7:30PM MEMORIAL AUDITORIUM TICKETS START AT $25 www.chattanoogasymphony.org 423.267.8583 chattanoogapulse.com • june 6-12, 2013 • The Pulse • 23


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Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR

Thu 06.06 Ice Cream Festival 8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-254, rubyfalls.com “Inside & Out” 10 a.m.-5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” 10 a.m.- 8 p.m. Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org “Michael Murphy: Damage” 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org Rock City Raptors 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com New Dischord Festival featuring Michael Kallstrom and Ashley Hamilton 5 p.m. Tanner Hill Gallery, 3069 S. Broad St. (423) 280-7182, tannerhillgallery.com “Art + Issues: Collecting and Building a Community Story From Scraps of Life” 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com New Dischord Festival: An Evening With Malcolm Goldstein 7:30-10:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Scenic City Roots Afterparty 10 p.m. Folk School of Chattanooga, 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 827-8906, chattanoogafolk.com

24 • The Pulse • june 6-12, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Dream a dream with wild animals

• The Chattanooga Zoo partners with the City of Chattanooga's Department of Therapeutic Recreation to host a special event for children with special needs and their families Free, but reservations required. Friday, June 7, 5:30-8:30 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322, chattzoo.org

Fri 06.07 Bike2Work Breakfast 7-8:30 a.m. Waterhouse Pavilion, Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. Ice Cream Festival 8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-254, rubyfalls.com “Inside & Out” 10 a.m.-5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” 10 a.m.- 5 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 2670968. huntermuseum.org Rock City Raptors 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com “Michael Murphy: Damage” 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org Fresh On Fridays 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Center Park, 728 Market St. (423) 265-3700, facebook. com/centerparkchattanooga Bend on the Run: 2nd South Carolina String Band 2 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St.

(423) 757-5310, lib.chattanooga.gov New Dischord Festival featuring Jerome Meadows, Alyse Knorr and Aubrey Lenahan 5 p.m. Tanner Hill Gallery, 3069 S. Broad St. (423) 280-7182, tannerhillgallery.com Dreamnight 5:30-8:30 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322, chattzoo.org “Starry Night” 7-10 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Terrace. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com “Mystery at the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com “Monster” 7:30 p.m. Theater for the New South, Jim G. Lewis Studio Theatre, UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 503-0589, facebook. com/theatreforthenewsouth “Jekyll & Hyde” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141. New Dischord Festival featuring Paul Pinto and Jeffrey Young

7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Renard Hirsch 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com Ballroom Dance Party 8:30 p.m.-10:30 p.m. Ballroom Magic Dance Center, 4200 Access Rd. (423) 771-3646. SU: Chas Elstner 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com

Sat 06.08 Ice Cream Festival 8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-254, rubyfalls.com “Inside & Out” 10 a.m.-5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” 10 a.m.- 5 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 2670968. huntermuseum.org “Michael Murphy: Damage” 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org Rock City Raptors 11 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com “Open Gallery” 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Shuptrine’s Gold Leaf Designs, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453, shuptrines.com 2nd South Carolina String Band 2 p.m. Point Park, Lookout Mountain. (423) 821-7786 Riverbend Unplugged featuring the Barr Brothers 2 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org


Arts & Entertainment 8th Annual 2013 NPC Battle at the River 6:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 642-TIXS, chattanoogaonstage.com New Dischord Festival featuring Julian Tan & Co., Meg Ronan, Tim Hinck, more 5 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310, lib.chattanooga.gov “Mystery of Flight 138” 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com “Monster” 7:30 p.m. Theater for the New South, Jim G. Lewis Studio Theatre, UTC Fine Arts Center, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 503-0589, facebook. com/theatreforthenewsouth “Jekyll & Hyde” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141, New Dischord Festival: Malcolm Gladwell Directs the New Dischord Players 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave., (423) 624-5347. barkinglegs.org Renard Hirsch 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com “Mystery of the Facebook Fugitive” 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com SU: Chas Elstner 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com

Sun 06.09 Ice Cream Festival 8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-254, rubyfalls.com “Inside & Out” 10 a.m.-5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St.

EVENTS CALENDAR Tue 06.11

fauns, fables, and valkyries?

• After fifteen years of collaboration, twelve years of touring and six full-length albums, Oakland's FAUN FABLES (Dawn McCarthy and Nils Frykdahl of Sleepytime Gorilla Museum) are known for exquisite, visceral adventures in song and theater and riveting live erformances to eclectic and devoted audiences throughout the world. $8 Sunday June 9, 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org

Ice Cream Festival 8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-254, rubyfalls.com “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” 10 a.m.- 5 p.m. Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org “Inside & Out” 10 a.m.-5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com Magic Tree House Traveling Exhibit 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org

Named “One of the Ten Most Incredible Cave Waterfalls on Earth” World Reviewer

Wed 06.13 (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Michael Murphy: Damage” 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org Jack’s Chattanoggins 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Chattanooga Market, 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Rock City Raptors 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road, Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” Noon- 5 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968. huntermuseum.org “Jekyll & Hyde” 2:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 987-5141, New Dischord Festival featuring Nathan King 5 p.m. Easy Lemon, 1440 Adams St. easylemon.wordpress.com New Dischord Festival: Cilla Vee Life Arts present “FLUX”, with Tim Hinck and Aaron Cowan 7:30 p.m. Folk School of Chattanooga, 1800 Rossville

Ave. (423) 827-8906, chattanoogafolk.com Faun Fables with Joshua Songs 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org

Mon 06.10 Ice Cream Festival 8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-254, rubyfalls.com “Inside & Out” 10 a.m.-5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” 10 a.m.- 5 p.m. Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org Magic Tree House Traveling Exhibit 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org

Ice Cream Festival 8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-254, rubyfalls.com “Whitfield Lovell: Deep River” 10 a.m.- 5 p.m. Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org “Inside & Out” 10 a.m.-5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com Magic Tree House Traveling Exhibit 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738, cdmfun.org Jewish Film Series: “Hava Nagila: (The Movie)” 7 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 North Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270, jewishchattanooga.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

423.821.2544 RubyFalls.com

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chattanoogapulse.com • june 6-12, 2013 • The Pulse • 25


Screen

“Hangover 3” Is Just a Headache “

Galifianakis is like bacon—it’s a wonderful food but it doesn’t belong in my Sonic milkshake, no matter how much you want it to.

By John DeVore This summer marks the end of one of the most unnecessary film trilogies since “Airplane!” “The Hangover: Part III” is at least an improvement over the previous film, in that here the script wasn’t copied and pasted from the original with

RAW PARTY, REDEFINED.

the words Las Vegas replaced by Bangkok. But Part III doesn’t have the tone of either of the previous movies. This third installment still adds nothing of value to the original story and is actually the tamest of the three, which might be a disappointment for teenage fans looking for some quick debauchery. It revisits locations and characters, does nothing to establish anything new in their backgrounds, and then

ends in a sentimental scene that doesn’t fit with spirit of the franchise. There are a few chuckle-worthy moments, but they are largely throwaway lines that have nothing to do with the overall plot of the film. The problem with this film in particular is the over-reliance on one-note characters. This was true in the Part II as well, but the plot of Part III hinges entirely on Alan and Chow. Obviously, Zach Galifianakis’s portrayal of the deranged manchild Alan is the key to what made the first film great. Audiences loved him and the film rocketed Galifianakis to stardom. As a result, the filmmakers took an ingredient that should be used sparingly and made it the main course. Galifianakis is like bacon—it’s a wonderful food but it doesn’t belong in my Sonic milkshake, no matter how much you want it to. The same can be said about Ken Jeong’s Leslie Chow. The tiny, psychotic Asian gangster is as grating here as he is on NBC’s “Community.”

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(Let’s be honest: Chang and Chow are essentially the same person. It’s just that Chang doesn’t have the weird accent.) Both Alan and Chow should be foils for the other characters to bounce off of, not the other way around. In this installment, Phil and

Stew are completely forgettable and interchangeable, shades of what they were at the outset of the franchise. Ed Helms and Bradley Cooper are both very good comic actors, and it’s a shame that the filmmakers didn’t give them anything to do.

As I mentioned, the plot itself is very different from the original film. There isn’t a hangover, no wild parties, no piecing together of the previous night from random clues found lining pockets. It’s a straightforward kidnapping/crime drama. The comedy has definitely taken a backseat in this one. To their credit, the filmmakers listened to criticism of the last film and set out to make something more original. Unfortunately, they rehashed the plot of at least a dozen other films, shoehorned their characters into it, and congratulated themselves on a job well done. These sequels were clearly made solely for the purpose of cashing in

on the success of the first. Fans loved Alan and Chow, so the second film boosted their parts and reshot the original in Bangkok. The fans liked it, but complained that it was too much like the first one. So, the filmmakers changed the plot and focused the entire film on the most popular characters. It’s filmmaking by popular vote. The result is a dilution of a good movie into something that only slightly resembles the original experience. If they really wanted to create something memorable, why not use the final installment to bring the audience into the party and let them witness the insanity first hand? That said, the guffaws coming from behind me while I watched the film indicate that “The Hangover: Part III” will be as successful as the first two. Of course, these were the same people that laughed uproariously at the trailer for “The Internship.” There’s no accounting for taste. Humor is subjective—and some people laugh easily. I suppose that if you pay good money for a comedy, you might as well try to laugh as much as you can, whether it’s funny or not. I just prefer genuine laughs rather than those that are forced or congenial. Genuine laughs are much harder to find.

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chattanoogapulse.com • june 6-12, 2013 • The Pulse • 27


Free Will Astrology GEMINI (May 21-June 20): How free do you want to be, Gemini? A tiny bit free, hemmed in by comfortable complications that require you to rely on white lies? Or would you rather be moderately free in ways that aren’t too demanding—politely, sensibly free? Maybe you feel brave and strong enough to flirt with a breathtaking version of liberation—a pure, naked freedom that brings you close to the edge of wild abandon and asks you to exercise more responsibility than you’re used to. I’m not telling you which kind you should opt for, but I am suggesting that it’s best if you do make a conscious choice.

APPALACHIAN

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We proudly serve craft cocktails and handmade Trailhead sodas.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In August

1961, the Communist government of East Germany built the Berlin Wall. It was a thick concrete barrier designed to prevent the oppressed citizens of East Berlin from escaping to freedom in West Berlin. The barrier was eventually policed by armed guards. Traffic between the two Berlins became virtually impossible for the next 28 years. Then a miracle occurred: East German authorities relinquished their stranglehold. They tentatively allowed East Berliners to travel to West Berlin. Soon the Mauerspechte, or “wall woodpeckers,” showed up. Armed with hammers and chisels, these people began chipping away at the Wall. Two years later, most of it had been demolished. I hereby assign you to be a wall woodpecker in your own sphere, Cancer. The time is right to demolish a barricade. It may take a while, but you’re ready to start.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The following slogan captures the spirit I bring to composing my horoscopes: “I live in the future so that you don’t have to.” But right now this slogan doesn’t apply to you. From what I can tell, you are currently visiting the future as much as I do. Here’s what I wonder, though: Are you time-traveling simply to run away from the dilemmas that face you in the present? Or are you taking advantage of your jaunts to acquire revelations

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28 • The Pulse • june 6-12, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Resurrection is the Scorpionic specialty. Better than any other sign of the zodiac, you can summon the power to be reborn. It is your birthright to reanimate dreams and feelings and experiences that have expired, and make them live again in new forms. Your sacred totem is the mythical phoenix, which burns itself in a fire of its own creation and then regenerates itself from the ashes. Now here’s the big news headline, Scorpio: I have rarely seen you in possession of more skill to perform these rites than you have right now SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): that will help you solve those dilemmas once you return?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You know that there are different kinds of stress, right? Some varieties wear you out and demoralize you, while other kinds of stress excite and motivate you. Some lead you away from your long-term goals, and others propel you closer. The coming weeks would be an excellent time for you to finetune your ability to distinguish between them. I suspect that the more you cultivate and seek out the good kind, the less susceptible you’ll be to the bad kind. LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Studies show that people spend 87 percent of their time inside buildings and six percent in enclosed vehicles. In other words, they are roaming around outside enjoying the wind and sky and weather for only seven percent of their lives. I think you’re going to have to do better than that in the coming week, Libra. To ensure your mental hygiene stays robust, you should try to expose yourself to the natural elements at least nine percent of the time. If you manage to hike that rate up to ten percent or higher, you stand a good chance of achieving a spiritual epiphany that will fuel you for months.

Octavio Paz spoke to a lover in his poem “Counterparts”: “In my body you search the mountain for the sun buried in its forest. In your body I search for the boat adrift in the middle of the night.” What have you searched for in the bodies of your lovers, Sagittarius? What mysteries and riddles have you explored while immersed in their depths? How has making love helped you to better understand the meaning of life? I invite you to ruminate on these uncanny joys. Remember the breakthroughs that have come your way thanks to sex. Exult in the spiritual education you have received through your dealings with lust and sensuality. And then go out and stir up some fresh epiphanies.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Do you know what minced oaths are? They’re rarely used anymore. If you went back a hundred years, though, you’d hear them regularly. They were sanitized swear words, basically; peculiar exclamations that would allow people the emotional release of profanities without causing a ruckus among those who were listening. “Bejabbers!” was one. So were “thunderation! and “dad-blast!” and “consarn!” Here’s one of my favorite minced oaths: “By St. Boogar and the saints at the backside door of purgatory!” I bring this up, Capricorn, because I suspect it’ll be a minced oath kind of week for you. What I

mean is: You’ll have every right to get riled up, and you should express your feelings, but not in ways that create problems for you.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): There’s only one correct way to spell the English word “beauty.” But that wasn’t true centuries ago. Before the advent of the printing press, orthographic anarchy prevailed for many words. Some of beauty’s variations included bewte, beaute, beaultye, beuaute, bealte, buute, bewtee, and beaultye. I bring this up, Aquarius, because I think it would be fun and healthy for you to take a respite from having to slavishly obey standardized rules. I’m talking about not just those that apply to spelling, but others, too. See what you can get away with.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the last

chapter of Fyodor Dostoevsky’s novel The Brothers Karamazov, the lead character says the following: “There is nothing nobler, stronger, healthier, and more helpful in life than a good remembrance, particularly a remembrance from childhood. A beautiful, holy memory preserved from childhood can be the single most important thing in our development.” I bring this up, Pisces, so as to get you in the right frame of mind for this week’s featured activity: remembrance. One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to reminisce about the old days and the old ways. To do so will enhance your physical health and purify your emotional hygiene.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The longest

natural arch in the world is the Fairy Bridge in Guangxi Province, China. Made of limestone, this 400-foot-wide span crosses over the Buliu River. No one outside of China knew about it until 2009, when an American explorer spied it on Google Earth. Let’s make the Fairy Bridge your metaphor of the month, Aries. Judging by the astrological omens, I suspect there’s a good chance you will soon find something like a natural, previously hidden bridge. In other words, be alert for a link between things you didn’t know were connected.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I hope that in recent weeks you’ve made yourself a master of sticky and intricate details. I trust you’ve been working harder and smarter than you have in a long time. Have you, Taurus? Have you been grunting and sweating a lot, exerting yourself in behalf of good causes? Please tell me you have. And please say you’re willing to continue for a while longer. The way I see it, your demanding tasks aren’t quite finished. In fact, the full reward for your efforts may not become available unless you keep pushing beyond the point that you consider to be your fair share.


Jonesin’ Crossword

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1. Oldest member of Hanson 6. Just barely make it 11. Inst. 14. Movie with Geoffrey Rush as David Helfgott 15. Brand name yodeled in ads 16. It’s pitched while courting 17. Plays April Fools on, in Krakow? 19. Rowing machine unit 20. Smithers, e.g. 21. How a hard worker works 23. Nest eggs of sorts 25. ___-stealer 26. Talks like this he does 29. Overthrow attempts 33. Ruler, once 34. Pie ___ mode 35. Flog but good 37. “Jeopardy!” uberwinner Jennings 38. “Mary, Queen of Scots” biographer Fraser 39. Hooters mascot 42. “So it would seem!”

44. Tub temperature tester 45. Makers of the Giant Rubber Band and Dehydrated Boulders 47. “Have I got ___ for you!” 48. ID’s used in identity theft 49. “The Bell Jar” poet 51. “Hercules: The Legendary Journeys” spinoff 53. Cats that look like big puffballs 57. Spin around 61. Snack 62. Singles bar thought, in Prague? 64. Alternative to a .wav file 65. Harold’s friend, in a 2004 movie 66. She was “The Little Mermaid” 67. Character in a TV episode called “Space Madness” 68. Laziest of the deadly sins

69. Best Picture nominee of 1975

Down

1. Cosby show redone as a 2002 Eddie Murphy movie 2. Comic strip with an all-bird cast 3. Suffers discomfort 4. Hemoglobindeprived condition 5. Labor leader Chavez 6. Hoodwink, politically incorrectly 7. “Goodbye ___” (Dixie Chicks song) 8. Cuisine with peanut sauce 9. Knock on the head 10. Ox collars 11. Best parts of the tennis racket, in Uppsala? 12. Brand of cerveza 13. One who won’t share, as with blankets 18. Snake mentioned in “Baby Got Back” 22. Show opener 24. Worked in a mailroom

26. Bovine of burden 27. Bullfighting shout 28. Big crooner in Copenhagen? 30. Rte. running from Key West, FL to Port Kent, ME 31. Nikon competitor 32. They guzzle a bunch 35. Yes, in Yokohama 36. Silo stuff 40. Got the medal 41. Electric guitarist Paul 43. Duck docs, perhaps 45. Show up, as in a vision 46. Split in two 48. “Modern Humorist” genre 50. Backwoods types 52. Like points at zero amplitude, on waves 54. Blue, in Bolivia 55. Fish in a Pixar pic 56. Rather gross fetish 58. Not “fer,” to hillbillies 59. Some govt. agents 60. Sorta fishy, sorta snaky 63. Abbr. for a king or queen

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2013 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-6556548. Reference puzzle No. 626. chattanoogapulse.com • june 6-12, 2013 • The Pulse • 29


On the Beat

alex teach

A Cop’s Silent Therapy BEST BURGERS IN TOWN!

“Time heals all wounds,” they say. In my experience, the only thing that has ever consistently “healed all wounds” is a stiff shot of bourbon, but perhaps that was just the broken part of me speaking. I assumed it was broken, anyway. At least some part of me still talked though, and who was I to cast off its judgment? I lay on my bed, one hand behind my head, the other resting on my chest, holding a cigarette with an inch of ash that was more anxious to fall than I was to consider even sitting up. It was hot and the ceiling fan toiled ceaselessly, and I was grateful for it and the shadows it cast from the parking lot lights outside my apartment. I did my best thinking under a ceiling fan, and alternately, I did my best not to think at all the same way. The bourbon was within reach, and all was as well as it ever was. Time just makes the shadows crawl across the ceiling night after night and does nothing but pour acid into the dark pit of my hollow gut, and I was looking to make it pass. Quickly. No matter how deep the pit seemed, just when I thought I’d found its bottom, I always found there were ways to dig deeper. Sometimes I held the shovel… and others, like this, were indeed like that acid burning its rocky soil away, and I felt like a bound prisoner watch-

30 • The Pulse • june 6-12, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

ing it helplessly from a distance in frustration. I had told a grandmother a few hours earlier as gently as I could that that the grandson she had been raising since infancy had been killed during a botched robbery, and she managed to surprise me by vomiting from a standing position, all 350 pounds of her. Oh, she had turned her head so no contact was made, but I have to admit…while I expected her to react, that was not exactly the reaction I was expecting. I politely ignored it and in under a minute I was embracing her as she wailed, and we stayed there until the tears began to subside. Both of ours. She was a proud, older black woman, but this was a new low for her, and eventually I handed her off to family as they arrived and went inside to get her something to drink. I started off my career working parts of town in which people asked me to take off my boots before I entered their homes to take a report so as to not soil their gilded carpet (I turned around and left), and the next call would result in someone attempting to stab me while trying to elude being caught stealing a spare car tire. Those things were difficult to understand, but paled in comparison to the collateral damage that were the families touched by even more senseless crimes. It was a lot to digest. Oh, my poor stomach.

The only definitive relief for these thoughts was to go into my son’s bedroom and give him a hug while he slept, maybe just trace the lines of his face with a fingertip or brush the hair from his forehead. I would enter that room now…but he wasn’t there. I couldn’t even call him at those hours because he now slept under a different roof with his mother and her new husband. So I stroked the lines of a lead crystal glass of spirits instead. Such a poor trade. My pager and my phone sat dormant on the bedside table for a record-breaking two hours before I woke to mechanically put a cheap tie over a cheap shirt that I tucked into cheap pants and cinched together with a belt and expensive gun, and went to my car to start another day over again. I thought of the grandmother that next morning on the way in, and wondered how she was doing. I couldn’t check of course; I was the harbinger of her grandson’s death, the proverbial “messenger,” but that was OK. Raises were out of budget, but we were always flush with pain for the dying. I checked my watch, and hoped to call my kid before he caught the bus. I hid my smoking from him, but maybe he’d understand if he found out later. Did he think of me at night, too? He had a ceiling fan in his new room, after all...


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