The Pulse 10.45 » November 7, 2013

November 7-13

Vol. 10 • No. 45

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

an interview with a (real) superhero CHATTANOOGA'S DARK GHOST SITS DOWN WITH THE PULSE TO TALK ABOUT HIS CRIME FIGHTING CAREER

shrink rap

ARTS

MUSIC

the good docter is back!

DECISIONS, DECISIONS, DECISIONS

power trio rock & roll

small things THEATRE CHOICE gold plating

Track 29’s goal is to offer a professional experience to both the talent that plays on our stage and the guest that enters our door. Accomodating standing and seated crowds, we are focused on becoming one of the best music rooms in the United States.

Track 29 can host your special event and boasts four private suites to upgrade your concert going experience. Contact info@track29.co for more information.

1400 Market Street • Southside District • Chattanooga Tennessee Tickets Available @ Track29.co • (423) 521-2929 • Box Office Friday 10AM - 6PM

NOVEMBER 2013

10th

SUN 8PM

KARL DENSON’S TINY UNIVERSE PRESENTS A RAY CHARLES BOOGALOO

12th

TUE 8PM

AN EVENING WITH STEVE VAI • SEATED SHOW

14th

THUR 7PM

Scenic City Roots with John Cowan Band • Jill Andrews • Great Peacock • Lou Wamp

20th

WED 7PM

FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE • SOLD OUT!

4th

WED 9PM

VICTOR WOOTEN AND HIS BROTHERS

7th

SAT 9PM

TROMBONE SHORTY AND ORLEANS AVENUE CELEBRATE

10th

TUE 8PM

GOO GOO DOLLS

12th

THUR 8PM

THE INFAMOUS STRINGDUSTERS WITH PAPER BIRD

13th

FRI 9PM

KACEY MUSGRAVES • “SAME TRAILER, DIFFERENT TOUR”

16th

THUR 9PM

JUST ANNOUNCED! ON SALE FRIDAY AT 10AM! EMANCIPATOR • BLOCKHEAD • REAL MAGIC

17th

FRI 9PM

BLACKBERRY SMOKE WITH THE DELTA SAINTS • “FIRE IN THE HOLE TOUR”

29th

WED 9PM

AN EVENING WITH UMPHREY’S MCGEE

DECEMBER 2013

JANUARY 2014

 TRACK29 2 • The Pulse • November 7-13, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

 TRCK29

 TRACK_29

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Mike McJunkin Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny • John DeVore Steven W. Disbrow • Mike Dobbs Janis Hashe • Marc T. Michael Ernie Paik • Gary Poole • Alex Teach Editorial Interns Keith King • Chelsea Sokol Art Director Gary Poole Cartoonists & Illustrators Tom Tomorrow Photographers Josh Lang Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Rick Leavell • Leif Sawyer • Stacey Tyler Tara Viland • Jerry Ware • Candice York

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar calendar@chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2013 Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II

Cover Story

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2013

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, SE E S EE H EE lse H Pu ,C C e SE Th EE in k CH D MORE ee AN xt W

NOVEMBER

8 INTERVIEW WITH A (REAL) SUPERHERO

By Steven W. Disbrow These aren’t stuntmen or actors out to make a buck; they’re normal folks who put on costumes (usually modeled on their favorite comic book hero) and go out to actually fight crime and help the helpless in their neighborhoods. As the years went by, their numbers have slowly climbed.

Feature Stories

Everything Else

11 GOLD PLATED GOLD

By Marc T. Michael I had gotten a tip about a band that would be worth reviewing, so I went to Soundman Jack at the Honest Pint (who has worked with the band a few times) and asked, “What do you know about these cats?”

15 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN MELLOW?

By Janis Hashe Talk about your theatrical smorgasbord. There’s something for most every taste opening this week in venues throughout town. And isn’t it fabulous that we can even say, “venues throughout town"?

4 5 7 12 14 16 20 21 21 22

THE BOWL THE LIST SHRINK RAP MUSIC CALENDAR BETWEEN THE SLEEVES ARTS CALENDAR SPIRITS WITHIN FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN' CROSSWORD ON THE BEAT

19 SKIP THIS COUNSELING SESSSION

By John DeVore I saw “The Counselor” primarily because I read a script excerpt online in which Cameron Diaz’s character sexually violates the windshield of a Ferrari.

RAW

LIVE MUSIC & DJs EVERY WEEKEND FRI/SAT • NOVEMBER 8/9 Francisco Vidal Band $1 beer 10-11pm LIVE MUSIC STARTS @ 10:30pm FRIDAY & SATURDAY NIGHTS DJ REGGIE REG 2nd Floor 9:30pm-3am FRIDAY & SATURDAY NIGHTS

PARTY, REDEFINED.

TWO FLOORS • ONE BIG PARTY • LIVE MUSIC • DANCING • 409 MARKET ST • 423.756.1919 open 7 days a week » full menu until 2am » 21+ » smoking allowed chattanoogapulse.com • November 7-13, 2013 • The Pulse • 3

BOWL

THE

“Pictures Tell the Story’’

Photos of Another South The new exhibit “Pictures Tell the Story” at the Bessie Smith Cultural Center of 60 images from the remarkable work of Dr. Ernest C. Withers is part of an equally remarkable story.

Working primarily for black newspapers such as the Tri-State Defender and Amsterdam News from the ’40s-’70s, Dr. Withers, according to the BCC, “documented the dusty ball fields of the Negro Diamond Baseball League and the popular athletes prevented from playing in the all-white majors.

He photographed the roadhouses and

chattanooga’s weekly alternative NEWS • COMMENTARY • BULLETINS & PUSH NOTIFICATIONS AT DIAL-UP SPEED facebook/chattanoogapulsE • TWITTER @CHATTAPULSE EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

ballrooms where Howling Wolf, Tina Tuner and Elvis were making music that would revolutionize society by bringing black and white kids together.”

During this same time, the BCC tells us, he was “the primary visual chronicler of the parallel society blacks occupied below the Mason-Dixon line. [He] shot an estimated 5 million exposures of a changing South and the people who shaped those changes. Withers’ works are highly respected internationally and have been featured in many books and publications.”

The exhibit opened Nov. 1 in the museum gallery and is on view until Mar. 1, 2014. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658, bessiesmithcc.org — Staff

423PK Project

Find That Band!

Gotta band? Then you need to know about David and Joel Ruiz’s new project, 423PK. The Ruiz bros are inviting all local musicians and bands to fill out a profile page for their new database, which will cover the Chattanooga music scene.

Here at The Pulse, we can tell you that one of the frustrations in trying to cover local bands is that they often do not have professional pictures or even up-to-date information about the band and upcoming gigs. 423PK will help solve this pressing problem.

The Ruiz brothers are applying for a MakeWork grant, but in any case will push forward with the project. Musicians and bands that contact them early on are possibilities for a profile that will include professional-quality video, bio, clips and photos, at a deep discount or potentially even free.

The database will be of great help to both media outlets and potential booking venues, as well as the bands themselves—and has been something the Chattanooga scene has needed for a long time.

To fill out a profile, visit http://tinyurl.com/n8l5z2n or contact David Ruiz directly at 423pks@gmail.com — Staff Street Smart Cycling

Safe Biking Made Easy If you’re a regular Pulse reader, you know that our beloved columnist, Officer Alex Teach, has a problem with bicyclists. Some (not all) of this is because of lack of attention to safety and traffic rules. But on the other side of the pedals, what about those of us who’d love to ride our bikes more but 4 • The Pulse • November 7-13, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

are afraid of angry, aggressive drivers?

And just what are the real rules of the road anyway?

Get these questions answered at a free class Wednesday, Nov. 13 offered by Outdoor Chattanooga. The hour-long “Street Smarts Cycling Class” will present both the actual laws and the accepted road etiquette for cyclists sharing the roadways with cars.

C’mon now, folks, let’s give Officer Alex an early holiday gift—safer roads for everyone.

“Street Smarts Cycling,”6:30 p.m. Nov. 13. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (in Coolidge Park). No reservations necessary. More info: (423) 643-6888, info@outdoorchattanooga.com — Staff

LIST

THE

pulse » PICKS

• A curated weekly selection of picks from the Chattanooga Live and Arts & Entertainment calendars by Pulse staffers.

THU11.07

FRI11.08

CHARITY BOWLING

A JOYOUS NOISE

Ronald Mcdonald House Charities Bowl-a-rama

Gaither Vocal Band

• Come on out and throw some strikes and spares to help benefit one of the most helpful charities in the city, the Ronald McDonald House.

6 p.m. • Pin Strikes Entertainment Center, 6241 Perimeter Dr. (423) 778-4338, rmhchattanooga.com

• Southern Gospel superstars come to Memorial to raise a joyous noise, as they have for over thirty years of touring the world. If you have a love of gospel, this is the mustsee show of the year.

7 p.m. • Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156, chattanooga.gov

ROCK-N-ROLL ROYALTY

CLEVER COOKING

Ryan Oyer Band with the Revelators & Rick Rushing & Blues Strangers

Come On In My Kitchen

• Three incredible bands, with headliner Ryan Oyer performing music from his latest album, "metamorphosis".

9:30 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com

• An evening of exquisite dance tantalized by the culinary arts to entice your senses beyond imagination, part of Barking Legs Theater’s 20th anniversary series of special shows.

9 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave, (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org

Christian Collier

Between Beauty & Bedlam Chistian Collier is a poet and spoken-word perfomer who has been regaling audiences for many years, primarily through The Speakeasy poetry/spoken word open-mic events and the MANIFEST arts series here in Chattanooga.

His latest work, "Between Beauty & Bedlam" is now out on CD, and he will be hosting a very special release party at Barking Legs Theater this Sunday evening.

"I’ve got something very special lined up for you," he writes on his blog about the event. "If you missed the performance at The Hunter over the summer, we’ve got you covered this time around. I guarantee

rock out With your cork out 1/2 PRIcE bOTTlES OF WINE ON THURSDAy’S TIll clOSING! HAPPy HOUR NIGHTly FROm 3Pm - 7Pm

2 FOR 1 WEll DRINkS $3 HOUSE WINE $3 cHATTANOOGA bREWING cOmPANy DRAFTS (PIlSNER, IPA & cHIckbOck) $4 cHATTANOOGA WHISkEy 1/2 PRIcE APPETIzERS

SAT11.09 OPERATIC THEATER “Tosca” (live from The Met)

satisfaction!"

Speaking about the CD itself, Christian writes, " Making this record has truly been an experience. It could very well be a cliché, but I truly feel that bringing it to fruition made me a better man."

He adds, "I learned a great deal over the past ten months, felt even more, and I sincerely hope that the project resonates with you...and gets you moving your tails a little bit."

Chrisian Collier Sunday, November 10 7 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave, (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org

• A special live event in cinemas nationwide, New York's Metropolitan Opera presents the classic Puccini opera Tosca led by Patricia Racette in the title role of the jealous diva, opposite Roberto Alagna as her lover, Cavaradossi.

12:55 p.m. • East Ridge 18, 5080 S. Terrace, East Ridge. carmike.com

THE BIRD IS THE WORD Birdsmell: Ben Bridwell of Band of Horses • Ben Bridwell sums up his firstever solo tour: "I haven't quite figured out exactly what I'll be playing, or how I'll be playing it, but I'm guessing it'll be hilarious.

And sad. And awkward at times."

9:30 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com

mith’s Black s astro uB

G

P

NEW HOURS!

mON - THU: 11Am-10Pm FRI-SAT: 11Am-mIDNIGHT SUN: 11Am-3Pm bRUNcH

809 mARkET STREET (423) 702-5461

blacksmithsgastropub.com chattanoogapulse.com • November 7-13, 2013 • The Pulse • 5

Saving Mobile Lives 1906 Gunbarrel Rd.

423-486-1668 (Next to GiGi’s Cupcakes)

cellphonerepair.com/ chattanooga

M-F: 10am-7pm Sat: 11a-4pm Closed Sunday

Pilgrim Congregational Church

(UCC)

Has Provided the

Chattanooga community with a liberal Christian tradition since 1914.

Learn more about our mission and activities at pilgrim-church.com

Sunday Worship 11am 400 Glenwood Drive at 3rd Street (423) 698-5682

6 • The Pulse • November 7-13, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Shrink Rap

rick pimental-habib, Ph.d

Mindful Is As Mindful Does I was recently asked by a friend to explain the concept of “mindfulness.” I’ll illustrate mindfulness with a story I think you’ll enjoy. But first, here’s how Jon Kabat-Zinn, author, teacher, and meditation guru, describes it: “Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.”

When I asked my colleague, Lisa, from the Center for Mindful Living here in Chattanooga, she described mindfulness as “being present with awareness and kindness…with all our attention.”

I believe that mindfulness is about living in the here and now, so we don’t miss the unfolding of our experiences. This isn’t something limited to only certain people, i.e., meditators or yoga practitioners. Nor is it reserved for only the big, peak, memory-making moments in life. You can be in the mindfulness zone anytime, anywhere.

Here’s a story about simple mindfulness in everyday life that I want to share with you, involving—as it often does—the help of my wonderpup, Betty Lou. Most of you already know Betty from earlier columns.

She’s my sweet, goofy Boston Terrier, now ten years old, and

a bit more mellow, but still offering up the unconditional love and slobbering kisses she always has.

When Betty was younger and we’d go for long hikes, I would sometimes find my mind drifting to, for instance, which movie I might want to see that weekend, or to some upcoming social event, or what’s for dinner. When I realized I was doing this, it became clear to me

“

If you are mindful with the small things you do all day long—from enjoying your morning coffee, to working out at the gym; from driving, to reading, to talking with a friend—over time you’ll notice benefits in all parts of your life.

that by thinking of the future I was missing the present. What I really enjoyed was gabbing with Betty (despite what the neighbors might think about this guy talking to his dog), exploring new routes in the park or neighborhood, and enjoying the breeze, the scenery, the sunshine. In short, I wanted to be tuned in, not on a tangent of thoughts taking me away from the experience. So I learned to leave the cell phone at home, focused my energy on the task at hand, and when I walked with her, I walked with her. I was there. Present. Tuned in. And much happier.

Mission accomplished, right?

Well, I’ve got to tell you, we’ve recently added a rescue pup to the family, Lily Pad. She’s a tiny, one-year-old, vibrating bundle of energy, and she looks exactly like a mini Betty. Like I left Betty in the dryer too long. But that’s where their similarity ends.

Lily’s youthful energy is…how shall I put this?...like a pinball on speed. The Bullet Train of Chattanooga. When we’re walking (with leashes) she’s a kite in a hurricane. You get the idea. So while Betty gracefully picks her way along, Lily is zigging and zagging from one side of the street to the other. I spend a lot

of time with arms flailing, keeping us all from getting tripped up in the leashes.

(I can’t help but think of those classic “I Love Lucy” episodes where you know that, eventually, things will go horribly, if humorously, wrong.) We’re a sight, and now the neighbors really have something to talk about.

Needless to say, if my thoughts dare wander to this weekend’s movie, or what’s for dinner, or anywhere other than being fully present, forget it. We’ll be a tangled heap. With both Betty and Lily in tow, it’s “mindfulness or bust.”

Here’s the take-away: If you are mindful with the small things you do all day long— from enjoying your morning coffee while gazing out the window, to working out at the gym; from driving, to reading, to talking with a friend—over time you’ll notice benefits in all parts of your life. Learning to be mindful helps you to be calmer and more centered, helps free you from judgment of yourself and others. When you are present, paying attention, living in the here and now, you cannot simultaneously feel anxious about the future, or guilty about the past. You are fully alive. You

come to realize that each moment is your life. This is living, right now.

So take a nice, long, deep breath. If you’re going to walk the dog, then walk … the … dog.

If you’re going to eat that pie, then eat the heck out of that pie and enjoy every bite. Experiment with single-tasking, as opposed to multi-tasking, and observe how that feels. See if you can give yourself permission to be in the zone, to be tuned in, right here, right now.

Until next time: “Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are.”

— Marianne Williamson Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga.

Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga.com and follow his daily inspirations on Twitter: @DrRickWellNest.

NOVEMBER 29 - DECEMBER 1 SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT - RATED: R

D.L. HUGHLEY GROOVE 93 AFTERNOON HOST HOST OF "TRUST ME I'M A GAME SHOW HOST" ON TBS

3224 Brainerd Road, Chattanooga, TN Advance Tickets: (423) 529-2233 www.thecomedycatch.com

chattanoogapulse.com • November 7-13, 2013 • The Pulse • 7

COVER STORY

Interview With A Superhero The Dark Ghost is out there. Meet him here.

Story Steven W. Disbrow Photo by Josh Lang

I

LOVE COMIC BOOKS. GROWING UP, I WANTED TO be Spider-Man. For me, “With great power comes great responsibility” isn’t just a tagline in a movie; it’s honestly how I try to live my life.

So in 1977, when Marvel Comics proclaimed that there was a REAL LIFE SUPER HERO out there, I was thrilled. Maybe even I could be a super hero!

Unfortunately, that “hero,” who called himself “The Human Fly,” turned out to be a stuntman (Rick Rojatt) that liked to ride jumbo jets (on the outside) and free-climb on things. Marvel was just capitalizing on his fame to sell comics.

Fast forward a few years, and there begin to be unsubstantiated reports of “Real Life Super Heroes” (RLSH).

But these aren’t stuntmen or actors out to make a buck; they’re normal folks who put on costumes (usually

8 • The Pulse • November 7-13, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

modeled on their favorite comic book hero) and go out to actually fight crime and help the helpless in their neighborhoods. As the years went by, their numbers slowly climbed. There are now dozens around the country.

Initially, they were a curiosity. The media ate it up and the police repeatedly warned them not to intervene in “real” crime. With the arrival of the internet and social media, their numbers exploded. We’ve even got a couple right of RLSHs right here.

“Dark Ghost” has been operating in Chattanooga since 2010. When I meet him at Coolidge Park, one of the many places he patrols, late one night for this interview, he’s accompanied by Chattanooga’s other RLSH, the “Mystery Man.” As Dark Ghost approaches, the first thing I notice is that he’s a big guy. Not fat—big. And even though he’s dressed headto-toe in black, complete with trench coat, fedora and a fullface mask, he moves in a way that it’s easy to tell he’s in the kind of shape t h a t most of us aging comic nerds can only dream about.

The only weapon he carries seems to be a very stylish walking cane.

Still, his overall look is very

familiar to me…

The Pulse: Rorschach of the “Watchmen” seems to be your inspiration.

Dark Ghost: Well, it’s a bit of him and a bit of “Vic Sage,” aka “The Question.”

TP: What event in your life led you to this?

DG: Like most comic nerds, I’m sure you were probably bullied because you were a comic nerd growing up, I got tired of being bullied, so I started standing up for myself. I saw other kids getting bullied and it just got to where I couldn’t stand by and let it happen. The teachers, the staff of the school weren’t doing anything to stop it. So I decided to stand up to the bullies for those that couldn’t stand up for themselves. And it evolved into what you see tonight.

TP: But was there any one thing though, later in life, that made you put on the outfit?

DG: My niece, when she was three, she was a victim of child molestation, by her grandpa on her daddy’s side.

He got away scot-free. And I had a bit of a moment [with him], that I’m not going to describe, but he left the state because of that.

TP: Since you mentioned family, does anyone in your family, or friends, know about this?

DG: (points to Mystery Man) I’ve known this gentleman since kindergarten. And my grandmother knows.

TP: Vigilantes are romanticized in comics, but not so much here on “Earth-Prime.” What sort of reactions have you gotten from the people you’ve actually helped?

DG: I’ve actually been able to help them without them knowing about this part of my life. Believe it or not, when you go on patrols, very little is going to happen. And that’s a good patrol.

One incident happened two years ago. This woman came into where I

was working at the time. I’m an avid fan of Sherlock Holmes. Because of him I’ve learned to catch the smaller details of things. I could see she had marks on her arm where she was physically grabbed. I noticed she was recovering from a black eye on this side here (points to his right eye).

And every time someone would come through the door, and she would hear the door chime, she would jump. And she had luggage with her, so that told me she was running from somebody.

Someone that must have done that to her.

So, I said, “Ma’am, what’s going on?

Are you all right?”

I bought her a cup of coffee, we talked, and she told me she was on the run from an abusive ex-husband.

Well, I got her a place to stay, and helped her find a job nearby. She was staying with a friend of mine at the time, but then [the ex-husband] found her and started bugging her at work. So I went to where she worked one day, and sat there and waited on him.

I said to him, “Sir, I’ve seen what you’ve done to this woman. Personally, if I had my way, if I was judge and jury, you wouldn’t walk outta of here, you’d limp outta here. You have no right to bug her. So I suggest you take yourself back to North Tennessee.”

He left and he’s never bothered her again. She’s now a very happy woman.

TP: The relationship between a city and its police can be complicated, as we’ve seen with the recent outcry over the reinstatement of Officers Emmer and Cooley.

DG: Yeah, that’s why I didn’t become a cop, like I originally wanted to.

TP: Why not just join the police force?

DG: Well, like you said, the example of those two gentlemen. That power can corrupt people. Being one good cop amongst all that corruption, you can’t do your job. You get overrun

with corruption and red tape and you can’t actually help the citizens like you’re supposed to. They’re here to serve and protect, and yet— look what they did.

TP: What’s been the reaction to you from law enforcement?

DG: I have one police sergeant who’s on my Facebook page. He’s actually said openly that he supports people like us.

TP: Have you ever been in a situation that made you think you were about to get seriously injured or killed?

DG: One time that I turned in a cocaine dealer to the police, and he tried to follow me home from work. Well, I pulled over, and I grabbed a tire iron. He saw what I was doing, and he kept driving, because he apparently didn’t have anything to back it up with.

TP: What’s the most serious crime you’ve ever stopped?

DG: I’d probably have to say the drug dealers.

Because, if you look at every crime, anywhere… drug dealing, gangs, it all goes together. You can link just about every crime to drugs. Either someone is doing it to get drugs, or because they are pushing drugs.

TP: What’s your #1 favorite, “I really did some good,” moment so far?

DG: When I saved a little boy from getting run over. He had gotten out of the vehicle he was in with his mom, he had jumped out. He made a beeline straight towards this busy road. I had to snatch him.

(Marks out relative positions with his hands, showing that the boy was halfway into the road.)

As soon as I get him, FOOM! A car comes flying by.

TP: I was going to ask if there any other RLSH people here in Chattanooga, but Mystery Man here has answered that (laughter).

So the next question is, do you guys ever team up, comic-book style?

DG: We always go out together.

Mystery Man: He insists on it.

DG: Because, if you get outnumbered, where’s your backup?

TP: Have you ever had to personally break the law to stop another crime? What were you trying to prevent?

DG: Speeding. I was trying to prevent a car

“

from hitting another little boy. His ball had gone into the road, and cars were just flying by, not paying any attention, so I sped up to put my car between the boy and the traffic. I just parked until he got his ball and got back up on the sidewalk.

TP: Do you carry any weapons when you go out on patrol?

DG: (Gestures with his cane.) This is actually a “Cold Steel City Stick.” This end can shatter cinder blocks. I’m an avid cane fighter.

I carry a stun gun. Not a taser. A stun gun you don’t have to have a permit to carry. I carry pepper spray and I carry a small baton. The reason it’s small is so it can actually be legal to carry. You saw on my blog where you have to have training to carry a baton over a certain length?

TP: Yeah, I think it’s commendable that you are doing your homework in order to maintain the legality of your own presence on the streets.

DG: Well, that’s also to help any other RLSH that may arise in Chattanooga.

TP: Are there any, besides the two of you?

DG: There is one.

She just moved here.

We haven’t had a chance to really have a dialogue yet.

TP: How many RLSH are here in the States?

DG: Maybe in the hundreds. And those are just the ones who’ve made themselves known.

There are many, many more hiding, because, as you said, the law usually looks down on this.

TP: Have you personally had any run-ins with any of the gangs here?

DG: Crips. For some reason, they just tend to ignore me. When I see ’em, they’re usually just hanging out, not doing anything illegal, so I just leave them alone. But if I do see ’em doing something, I will put a stop to it.

TP: I’m assuming neither of you guys have any actual super powers. So how do you guys stay fit?

DG: I’ve studied taekwondo and muay thai since I was a little boy, and I’ve also studied the Japanese sword since I was five years old.

It’s a heck of a way to stay in shape. And this guy here (motions to Mystery Man}, what is that, a Shake Weight you have?

MM: (laughs) Yeah.

Even though he’s dressed head-to-toe in black, complete with trench coat, fedora and a full-face mask, he moves in a way that it’s easy to tell he’s in the kind of shape that most of us aging comic nerds only dream about.

DG: A “Shake Weight” and walking. And he also spars with me…He got in a good punch last time.

TP: I’m noticing your gloves. [The gloves are black Kevlar with pronounced, “knuckle bumps.” The bumps don’t move as he flexes his hands. He hits the bumps with the metal end of his cane and there’s a ringing metallic sound.] Are those brass knuckles under there?

DG: Not brass knuckles—those would do too much harm. These just add a little bit of padding to my knuckles and give me an extra little bit of hit.

TP: You guys seem to be all about “Observe and Report, but Be Prepared.”

DG: I’ll intervene while he’s calling the cops. We operate like that because, if we were just trying to “report,” somebody could get mugged and killed.

Most RLSH have rallied behind the story of Kitty Genovese. She was killed while her neighbors watched and nobody did anything to help her.

All it would have taken to save her would have been one guy going with a bat to help her.

TP: Anything else you want to add, or say to the readers?

DG: If anyone would like to talk to me, or is interested in RLSH, they can contact me via Facebook (facebook. c o m /c h a r l e s . kovacs.39), on Twitter (@ Dark_Ghost_ RLSH) or my blog (darkghosthn. blogspot. com).

chattanoogapulse.com • November 7-13, 2013 • The Pulse • 9

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INTRODUCTORY

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10/23/13 4:21 PMMP 12:4 31/32/0

Exclusively featuring

10/23/13 4:21 PM

Open for lunch 11am-3pm Thursday-Friday Come enjoy dinner and live entertainment from 5p-11p during our special nights: Monday: Broad Street Blues Band Wednesday: Wine Down Wednesday Thursday: Feel It Thursday with 96¢ cocktails from 5pm-6pm Friday: Jazz | Saturday: Throw Back Night After Party 11pm-3am, 25+ Fri/Sat

Mocha Restaurant & Music Lounge

511 Broad Street, Chattanooga (423) 531-4154 • www.mochajazz.net

10 • The Pulse • November 7-13, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Music

marc t. michael

Gold Plated Gold—Party On! Power trio has evolved into solid R&R good time

I

HAD GOTTEN A TIP ABOUT A BAND THAT WOULD be worth reviewing, so I went to Soundman Jack at the Honest Pint (who has worked with the band a few times) and asked him, “What do you know about these cats?”

“Well,” he said, “they are as unpretentious and down-to-earth as they come. They just play good, honest, straightforward rock and roll. They’re easily one of the best around.”

Every week I sit down and explore some local artist or group and in seven hundred and fifty words try to tell you what they do, why you should care and where to go see them—but in three short short sentences Jack gave as ringing an endorsement as I ever could.

The band is called Gold Plated Gold and here is what you need to know: Gold Plated Gold is a power trio consisting of Adam Ayers, Blake Callihan and Casey Lovain on drums, guitar and bass respectively, with Callihan and Lovain sharing vocal duties.

In its earliest incarnation back in 2010, the band was merely a two-piece (Ayers and Callihan) experimenting with a minimalist but progressive approach to drums and guitar.

They were also playing the occasional acoustic gig at such lofty establishments as Bubba’s Pool Hall in Chatsworth, GA. Colorful colloquialisms aside, Bubba’s Pool Hall gave them the chance to play with

“

one of their favorite local bands, The Gullibles, which led to some deep conversations with Gullibles bassist Casey Lovain. Mutual interests and influences led to Lovain offering his services as a “sit-in” bass player until the boys could find a permanent member— but it came as a huge surprise to no one at all when, a few months later, Lovain himself became Gold Plated Gold’s newest permanent member.

With the band roster now complete it was time to do some serious writing and some serious gigging. The band did both over the course of several months, racking up an impressive number of shows in the North Georgia region, though Chattanooga stayed off their itinerary for quite a while.

An unusual approach, this may have worked to the band’s advantage, since by the time they made their debut at JJ’s Bohemia in July 2011, they had already achieved a certain level of polish that only comes from extensive playing and more than a few miles on the road. It was while

Every track on their EP is punchy and fast, full of hooks, riffs and a bass line that abides.

honest music

logging those miles on the road that the band had their first taste of that staple of the rock and roll experience, the “Life Threatening Incident.”

The band was playing a show in Dalton at a dangerous bar in the bad part of town. The name of the bar doesn’t matter—every town has one and every road dog musician has played there. (One of my earliest bands used to play at a bar in the Kentucky hills where being armed was de rigueur and it was often noted that we had invested more money in our firepower than in our instruments.)

The band arrived to an empty house save for one lone patron who they at first mistook for an overturned trashcan in both appearance and smell. The fellow quickly engaged the band in a one-sided conversation about drugs and Radiohead before pulling out a wicked-looking knife and threatening to “cut their throats if they didn’t give him a ride.”

The arrival of a fan spooked the man, causing him to drop his knife and flee, never to be heard from again except as a favorite campfire story the band likes to tell while making s’mores (which they do often.)

Murderous rampages (rampaging murderers?) notwithstanding the band eventually made their way to Chattanooga where

they were (and are) well received at venues like JJ’s and The Honest Pint. Their success in the local music scene quickly gave them the opportunity to venture out a little further, making the rounds of Atlanta on a semi-regular basis.

Their first EP, The Liar’s Club, was finished in June of this year and is available for free at goldplatedfuture.bandcamp.com.

The five tracks are surprisingly lush for a trio and cover a range of subject matter from sex to unemployment (or “life” as some folks call it.) Every track is punchy and fast, full of hooks, riffs and a bass line that abides.

When I asked the band what it was they most wanted to convey they had this to say: “We want people to dance and scream our lyrics back at us. We want kids to jump on stage and grab the mic and sing the lyrics.

We want everyone to go crazy.”

Too punk for pop, too pop for punk, it’s like the man said. Gold Plated Gold is just good, honest rock and roll.

local and regional shows

Old You, with Copper into Steel [$3] Pilot Rouge, Southern Belles with Hot Damn! [$5]

Thu, Nov 7 Wed, Nov 13

Live Trivia every Sunday from 4-6pm, followed by Live Music Sunday, November 10: Darin Cain [Free]

9pm 9pm

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * facebook.com/TheHonestPint

chattanoogapulse.com • November 7-13, 2013 • The Pulse • 11

Chattanooga Live

CHATTANOOGA

MUSIC CALENDAR The Micks

David Mayfield Parade

LIVE MUSIC NOVEMBER

RYAN OYER

THU with GABRIEL NEWELL & RICK RUSHING 9p

MINNESOTA

ARE YOU READY TO PARTY?

FRI 10p

BIRDSMELL

SAT BEN BRIDWELL OF BAND OF HORSES 9p MITCH ROSSELL THU CHATTANOOGA NATIVE COMES HOME! 8p

HILLBILLY SINS with HIGHER CHOIR

FRI 10p

FLY BY RADIO

SAT 10p

FEMALE FRONTED ROCK AND ROLL

HE IS LEGEND

THU TIR ASLEEN, SINAI VESSEL & GOOD THIEF 8p

7 8 9 14 15 16 21

11.22 WHO'S BAD: MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE 11.23 HIP HOP HISTORY, VOLUME II

COMING SOON

VELCRO PYGMIES

WED ANNUAL PRE-THANKSGIVING PARTY 10p

27

THE HOPSING PROJECT THU 9:30p 28 YES ITS TRUE! HOPSING REUNITES!

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

THUrsday 11.07 “Pickin’ at the Post” with Bluegrass bands 5 p.m. American Legion Post, Highway 11 N. (423) 582-1337 Bluegrass and Country Jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Nazarene Church, 6310 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 842-5919, chattanoogagrace.com Soddy-Daisy Jamboree 7 p.m.- 10 p.m. Soddy-Daisy Community Center, 9835 Dayton Pk. (423) 332-5323 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com The Loop 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com Open Mic 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Tim Neal and Mike Harris 7:30 p.m. Mexi Wings VII, 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 509-8696, mexiwingviichattanooga.com David Mayfield Parade, Toy Soldiers, Okinawa 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn).

(423) 634-9191.

Ryan Oyer Band with the

12 • The Pulse • November 7-13, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Revelators & Rick Rushing & Blues Strangers 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com

friday 11.08 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Mason, 2204 Hamilton Pl. Blvd.

(423) 894-8726, elmesonrestaurant.com Tim Lewis 5:30 p.m. El Mason Hixson, 248 Northgate Mall.

(423) 710-1201 Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge, 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461, cancunmexicanrest.com Cowboy Gospel Jubilee 7 p.m. Cleveland Cowboy Church, 3040 Blythe Rd. (423) 476-7936 The Half & Half Band 7 p.m. Troy’s Place, 320 Emerson Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (423) 965-8346 Danny Sample/ Dave Walters 7 p.m. 212 Market, 212 Market St. (423) 265-1212, 212market.com Gaither Vocal Band 7 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156, chattanooga.gov Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com River City Sessions 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Joy Kills Sorrow - Black Box Concert Series 7:30 p.m. Sue E. Trotter Theater, 320 N. White St. (423) 745-8717, athensartscouncil.org The Kamikazi Dali 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr. (706) 965-2065, ringgoldacoustic.com Little Birds 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960, christunity.org Mountain Opry 8 p.m. Walden’s Ridge Civic Center, 2501 Fairmount Pk. (423) 886-3252 Bluegrass Dinner Music 8 p.m. Ocoee Dam Deli and Diner, 1223 Highway 64, Ocoee. (423) 338-8184 Kathy Tugman 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400, chattanooganhotel.com Matt Bohannon 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn).

(423) 634-9191.

Rough Works 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, skyzoochattanooga.com The Micks 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com Minnesota

10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Francisco Vidal 10 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919, facebook. com/raw.chattanooga

saturday 11.09 Barefoot Boone 12:30 p.m. Cartecay Vineyards, 5704 Clear Creek Rd. (706) 698-9463, cartecayvineyards.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Mason, 2204 Hamilton Pl. Blvd.

(423) 894-8726, elmasonrestaurant.com Tim Lewis 5:30 p.m. El Mason Hixson, 248 Northgate Mall.

(423) 710-1201 Binji Varsossa 6 p.m. Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge, 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461, cancunmexicanrest.com Jason Michael Carroll Benefit Concert 6 p.m. North Middle School, 2990 Decherd Blvd.

(931) 308-6394 24/7 Band + jamming and singing 7 p.m. Red Clay Pickin’ Barn, 1095 Weatherly Switch Tr. (423) 464-3034 The Hopeful Country Band 7 p.m. Troy’s Place, 320 Emerson Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (423) 965-8346 Music Festival 7 p.m. Lee University Conn

Chattanooga Live

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

MUSIC CALENDAR Birdsmell

Bo Bice

Thursday, November 7: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, November 8: 9pm Matt Bohannon Saturday, November 9: 10pm She She Dance Tuesday, November 12: 7pm Center, 1053 Church St. (423) 614-8340 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Roxie Watson 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Jeff Black 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960, christunity.org Kathy Tugman 8:30 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400, chattanooganhotel.com.

Stallion 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533, skyzoochattanooga.com She She Dance 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn).

(423) 634-9191.

The Micks 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956, sugarsribs.com Birdsmell: Ben Bridwell of Band of Horses, Bryan Cates 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644, rhythm-brews.com Cellular Chaos Chatoyant, Rick Weaver 10 p.m. Sluggo’s North Vegetarian Café, 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224.

Francisco Vidal 10 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919, facebook. com/raw.chattanooga

sunday 11.10 Benji Varsossa, Danny Mull, Jimmy Young 11 a.m. Great New York Flea Market, 143 Park Industrial Blvd. Ringgold, Ga. (706) 858-0188 Sam Glaser 1:30 p.m. Mizpah Congregation, 923 McCallie Ave. (423) 267-9771 Bobby Denton Band Jam 2 p.m. Cheap Seats Sports Bar, 2925 Rossville Blvd.

(423) 629-5636 Light Up The City Tenacious Tour With Jeremy Williams and Bo Bice 5 p.m. Hamilton Community Church, 7997 Shallowford Rd. (423) 485-1011, lightupthiscity.com “Between Beauty & Bedlam” Poetry/Music Album Release by Christian Collier 6 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347, barkinglegs.org Acoustic Gospel Jam 6 p.m. Brainerd United Methodist Church, 4315 Brainerd Rd. (423) 698-5928, Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe Presents A Ray Charles Boogaloo Dance Party 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929,

track29.co One Timers, Ole Scratch Release Party 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

monday 11.11 Sam Sampson and Princess Brooks 6:30 p.m. Wendy’s East Brainerd, 7655 East Brainerd Rd. (423) 331-7126 Big Band Night 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com Veterans Day Salute by The Jericho Brass Band 7 p.m. Ringgold Train Depot, Ringgold, Ga. (423) 322-8778 Southside Casual Classics 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com

tuesday 11.12 Jim Palmer 7:30 p.m. 1885 Grill, 3914 Saint Elmo Ave. (423) 485-3050, facebook.com/1885Grill Steve Vai 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929, track29.co Open Mic Hosted by Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203

Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996, tremonttavern.com Kurt Vile and the Violators, Beach Fossils 9 p.m. J.J.’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400, jjsbohemia.com

wednesday 11.13 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson Hixson, 248 Northgate Mall, (423) 710-1201 Jonah Smith 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Brandon Maddox 7 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065, ringgoldacoustic.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055, thepalmsathamilton.com UTC’s Jazz Band 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, 615 McCallie Ave. (423) 425-4371, utc.edu/fine-arts-center Priscilla & Little Rickee 8:30 p.m. Las Margarita’s, 1101 Hixson Pk. (423) 756-3332, lasmargaritaschattanooga.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Facebook.com/theoffice.chatt

FAMOUS GOOD FOOD

DOUG KELLER FAMOUS GRILLED WINGS GRILLED FRESH EVERY MONDAY

KARAOKE EVERY TUESDAY LIVE MUSIC EVERY WEDNESDAY 7PM TO CLOSE TRIVIA EVERY THURSDAY HAPPY HOUR UNTIL 7PM MON - FRIDAY HAPPY HOUR ALL DAY SAT & SUN

3658 Ringgold Road East Ridge, TN • 423.867.1351

chattanoogapulse.com • November 7-13, 2013 • The Pulse • 13

Between the Sleeves

record reviews • ernie paik

A Couple of Satisfying Musical Freak-Outs New York Chaos, Wailing Weird Sister

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7

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SAT

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DAY DECEM UR

S T O N TH E S O U

GET YOUR PARTY GEAR AND YOUR RUNNING SHOES! Join us on Dec 7, part of the MainX24 festivities, for Chattanooga’s hottest party and run of the year. Jam out to the hottest beats while running the GLOW ZOOM 5K, and after, join us for the GLOW 2.0 after party for the greatest party on earth! Race starts at 7:00pm Party starts at 8 SILENT DISCO GLOW LOUNGE DJ & DANCE FLOOR GLOW SURPRISES! Buy your tickets for the run and the party at

glowzoom.com *Runners get into after party FREE

Cellular Chaos Cellular Chaos (ugEXPLODE)

C

hanneling a no-wave era dark primitivism with pummeling dissonance and controlled insanity, the New York quartet Cellular Chaos kicks down the front door to deliver its debut album, a refreshing blast of spastic rage like hellhounds running upright, wielding tasers.

Band founder and guitarist Weasel Walter is known for a notable career of adrenaline-fueled boundary-pushing noise-rock and improvised music, in groups such as The Flying Luttenbachers, Behold…The Arctopus, Lake of Dracula and XBXRX, and for those familiar with his oeuvre, Cellular Chaos fits right in perfectly.

He’s joined by drummer Marc Edwards, known mostly in the free-jazz realm for collaborations with notables such as Cecil Taylor and David S. Ware, lead vocalist Admiral Grey of the electro-avant-pop duo Ecstatics

14 • The Pulse • November 7-13, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Joanna Gruesome Weird Sister (Slumberland) and bassist Ceci Moss.

Admiral Grey’s singing style fuses a bratty discontent with an impulsive kind of terror, evoking a genetically engineered spawn of Lydia Lunch and Kathleen Hanna, and Edwards offers a brutal, primal rock pounding, only seemingly drawing from his free-jazz background for a few choice fills or outbursts to keep listeners on their toes.

With Moss’ ultra-distorted fuzz bass and Walter’s precise, electro-shock-damaged buzzsaw guitar licks, the quartet frantically detonates in unison with a mind-weld tightness, demonstrating that the crazed aural dance is choreographed.

In this artificial tornado, the standout feature of Cellular Chaos is Walter’s guitar work, with impressive chops and unusual sound effects that are simultaneously stimulating, irritating and fascinating. The al-

bum never gets a chance to ever get boring, and it ends gloriously with “Hum,” which opens up the floodgates for one of the most satisfying musical freak-outs of recent memory, like a runaway bullet train hurtling through a decaying city that derails, launching into space for a sci-fi horror flick.

Cellular Chaos will play Sluggo’s North on November 9

S

lumberland Records is one of those labels that has forged an identity over the years in the indie world with a recognizable aesthetic that accommodates a certain amount of variation.

Much like Dischord was known for hardcore or TeenBeat was known for Anglophile guitar pop in the ’90s D.C. scene, Slumberland built its early reputation on noisy indie-pop from groups like Velocity Girl and Black Tambourine.

It relocated to the West Coast, and in recent years, it has experienced its second wind, earning success with bands like The Pains of Being Pure at Heart and Crystal Stilts. Notably, the label’s aesthetic hasn’t changed very much, but what is remarkable is that for the most part, it yields a consistently high quality output of material.

The new, debut album Weird Sister from the Cardiff, Wales quintet Joanna Gruesome is pretty much exactly what one might expect from a Slumberland record, in terms of both manner and quality.

It’s got the irresistible boy/ girl singing style like labelmates Veronica Falls, stimulating and thumping floor-tom/snaredrum beats like Black Tambourine, and fuzzbox-distorted discordant guitar chords along the lines of My Bloody Valentine’s “You Made Me Realise” heard on the tracks “Sugarcrush” and “Madison.”

If there is one thing that’s surprising, it’s that Weird Sister rocks more than you’d anticipate from an indie-pop album, and its kinetic and spirited tunes sometimes bring to mind the ’80s British group Talulah Gosh, gleefully assuming a punk attitude while motoring through songs about mental illness.

“Lemonade Grrrl” keeps itself together with tension despite sounding like it could fall apart at any moment behind the vocals, with a swift, basic rhythm and carpal-tunnel-syndrome-inducing minimalist guitar strumming.

Weird Sister is a well-executed album, and although Slumberland fans may pretty much know what they’re getting into, it exceeds expectations just a little.

Arts

janis hashe

Have You Ever Been Mellow Acting with a Rag Doll?

Three shows that run the theatrical gamut

T

ALK ABOUT YOUR THEATRICAL SMORGASBORD. THERE’S something for most every taste opening this week in venues throughout town. And isn’t it fabulous that we can even say, “venues throughout town” when it comes to theatre? Big change there in just a few years. Yay. The Eighties Roll On Get out the legwarmers, folks, because that Eighties icon, that rollerskating extravaganza, “Xanadu,” is back! For one weekend only, the Chattanooga State Theatre and Music Departments are presenting “Xanadu: The Broadway Musical.” And yes, Olivia fans, it’s based on the Universal Pictures film. From the website: “ It’s hilarity on wheels for adults, children and anyone who has ever wanted to feel inspired, as one of Broadway’s master storytellers, Douglas Carter Beane, weaves a moving, electrifying tale of endless fun that will keep you in stitches, while the original, legendary chart-topping tunes lift you out of your seat. You’ll want to keep the music in your head, and Xanadu in your heart, forever.” OK, maybe

“

There’s something for most every taste opening this week in venues throughout town.

not forever, but it sounds like a lot of fun.

Sherry Landrum is directing with choreography by Lindsay Fussell.

“Xanadu,” $15.7:30 p.m. Nov. 8,9, 2:30 p.m. Nov. 10, Humanities Theatre, Chattanooga State College, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246.

Time for Trust Exercises “Absorbing, unblinking and sharply funny” is how the New York Times described “Circle Mirror Transformation” when it premiered off-Broadway in 2009.

This evaluation was shared by other critics as well, and the play won several Obies during that season. Theater for the New South presents the piece in the company’s trademark “found spaces” staging starting this weekend. In “Circle,” five Vermonters meet every week in a community center drama class, play theatre games and endure acting exercises. TFNS says, “As they experiment with fun and harmless theatre games, the audience sees an unearthing of raw emotion in quiet and not-so-quiet displays.”

For the first time, the company hosts a

MORE MONEY FOR YOUR GOLD! CHATTANOOGA’S #1 GOLD BUYER wants to give you MONEY for your jewelry!

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RICK DAVIS GOLD & DIAMONDS 5301 Brainerd Rd at McBrien Rd • 423.499.9162

"Xanadu" guest director, Grace Holtz. Cast members are Dan Buck, John Hammons, Victoria Jocsing, Nina Jones and Marcia Parks.

“Circle Mirror Transformation,” $15 advance, $20 door. 7:30 p.m. Nov. 8, 9, 14-17, South Chattanooga Recreational Center (St. Elmo), 1151 W. 40th St. brownpapertickets.com/event/500621 We Missed You, Dolling And for the littlest theatre-goers, the Chattanooga Theatre Centre opens an old favorite, suitable for ages 5-8, “Raggedy Ann & Andy.” Says the CTC, “A fancy new French doll, Babette, has just arrived in the playroom; however, she is quickly whisked away by Prince Leonard-theLooney-Hearted. Raggedy Ann knows

what she must do…She and brother Andy embark into the “deep, deep woods” to fetch Babette back home. Along the way they meet the Camel with the Wrinkled knees and encounter the Greedy, a gluttonous candy monster. This free-wheeling romp combines an action-packed plot and lively audience participation.” Now, be honest: Don’t you just love a character called Camel with the Wrinkled Knees?

Also, Raggedy Ann turns 95 this year, and speaking of wrinkled knees, I hope I look that good at her age.

“Raggedy Ann & Andy,” $10.

Opens Nov. 8, 7:30 p.m. Multiple performances through Nov. 17.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, theatrecentre.com

LIVE PERFORMANCES NOV 8, 9 & NOV 14, 15, 16, 17 @ 7:30 Mention this ad and receive $5 off your ticket price at the door THEATER FOR THE NEW SOUTH 1151 W 40TH STREET CHATTANOOGA www.theaterforthenewsouth.com Find us on Facebook chattanoogapulse.com • November 7-13, 2013 • The Pulse • 15

“One of America’s Top 101 places to visit”

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR

UTC Trumpet Ensemble

Josh Wolfe

National Geographic, USA 101

THUrsday 11.07

for more info call 706.820.2531

See RockCity.com ...This holiday season, make plans to

SEE ROCK CITY this holiday season!

Opens November 22 Nightly from 6-9 pm at Rock City · Open Christmas Night · Closed Christmas Eve

Greek Bake Sale 8 a.m. Annunciation Greek Orthodox Church, 722 Glenwood Dr. (423) 629-4881, annunciation-greek.org “Kehilah: Community” - Craft Artists Of Southern Tennessee 9 a.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Dr. (423) 493-0270, jewishchattanooga.com Snakes - Meet in Ranger Rick 10:15 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695, tnaqua.org “Ragtime” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, ccplayhouse.com Ooltewah Farmer’s Market 3 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery & Landscape Co., 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 Fine Art Landscapes Opening Reception 4 p.m. Reflections Gallery, 6922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072, reflectionsgallerytn.com “Wag And Wine” Kitchen at Union Square Grand Opening and Benefit 6 p.m. 2 Union Square, 200 W. MLK Blvd. (205) 503-5955, heschatt.com Ronald Mcdonald House Charities Bowl-a-rama 6 p.m. Pin Strikes Entertainment Center, 6241 Perimeter Dr. (423) 778-4338, rmhchattanooga.com Chattanooga Technology Council 2nd Annual CIO Auction 6 p.m. Loose Canon Gallery, 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 826-8700.

Art + Issues: Observing

16 • The Pulse • November 7-13, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Ourselves 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff Vw. (423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org Tasting At Back Inn Café: Pairing Red Wine With Food 6:30 p.m. Back Inn Café, 412 East Second St. (423) 265-5033, bluffviewartdistrict.com Sustainable Seafood Dinner at Broad Street Grille 6:30 p.m. Broad Street Grille, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 Chattanooga’s Ultimate Date Night 7 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1100 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Sacred Harp Singers 7 p.m. Lafayette Presbyterian Church, 107 North Main St. (706) 764-2801 “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com Sun and Moon 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com UTC Trumpet Ensemble 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, 752 Vine St. (423) 425-4371, utc.edu/music/projects Lee University Chamber Strings 7:30 p.m. Lee University Chapel, 11th Street and Ocoee, (423) 614-8240, leeuniversity.edu “33 Variations” by Moses Kaufman 7:30 p.m. Lee University Dixon Center, 1120 N. Ocoee St. (423) 614-8000, leeuniversity.edu Josh Wolf 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com

friday 11.08 Red Shoe 2 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com “Kehilah: Community” - Craft Artists Of Southern Tennessee 9 a.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Dr. (423) 493-0270, jewishchattanooga.com Fall Festival- Mile Straight Baptist Church 6 p.m. Mile Straight Baptist Church, 8448 Springfield Rd. (423) 842-2333 “Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com Blue Forest 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Fine Arts Concert: Fall Musical Showcase featuring “Rhapsody in Blue” 7:30 p.m. Bryan College Rudd Auditorium, 271 Bryan Dr. (423) 775-2041, bryan.edu/arts “Xanadu” 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State Theatre, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-4400, chattanoogastate.edu “Circle Mirror Transformation” 7:30 p.m. Theater for the New South, South Chattanooga Recreation Center, 1151 W. 40th St. theaterforthenewsouth.com “Raggedy Ann & Andy” 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, theatrecentre.com “Suite Surrender” 7:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave.,

Crossville. (931) 484-5000, ccplayhouse.com USA Ballroom Dance Party 7:30 p.m. Allemande Hall, 7400 Standifer Gap Rd. (423) 899-9913 Josh Wolf 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com 2nd Annual Masquerade Gala 2013 Hosted by Stageworks of Cleveland 8 p.m. Old Woolen Mill, 445 Church Street SE. (423) 380-8073, Michael Malone 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com

saturday 11.09 Drupal Camp Chattanooga 8 a.m. Chattanooga State Community College, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-2424, drupalcampchattanooga.com Chattanooga Autism Awareness Walk 10 a.m. Coolidge Park, 200 River St. (423) 531-6961 Rain Barrell Workshop 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695, tnaqua.org “Tosca” (live from The Met) 12:55 p.m. East Ridge 18, 5080 S. Terrace, East Ridge. carmike.com Campfires and Hayrides at Cloudland 2 p.m. Cloudland Canyon State Park, 122 Cloudland Canyon Park Rd. (706) 657-4050 “Raggedy Ann & Andy” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, theatrecentre.com “Suite Surrender”

Arts & Entertainment

EVENTS CALENDAR Michael Malone

2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, ccplayhouse.com Ronald Mcdonald House Charities Bowl-a-rama 4 p.m. Pin Strikes Entertainment Center, 6241 Perimeter Dr. (423) 778-4338, rmhchattanooga.com “Mystery of Flight 138” 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com Spectrum 2013 Gala and Art Auction 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 267-0968, huntermuseum.org Fall Leaves 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Josh Wolf 7 & 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233, thecomedycatch.com “Ragtime” 7:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, ccplayhouse.com “Xanadu” 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State Theatre, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-4400, chattanoogastate.edu “Circle Mirror Transformation” 7:30 p.m. Theater for The New South, South Chattanooga Recreation Center, 1151 W. 40th St. theaterforthenewsouth.com “Mystery of the Facebook Fugitive” 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839, funnydinner.com Michael Malone 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

sunday 11.10 Bark for Life 11 a.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St., chattanoogamarket.com “Raggedy Ann & Andy” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534, theatrecentre.com “Xanadu” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga State Theatre, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-4400, chattanoogastate.edu “2013 Sanders Family Christmas” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, ccplayhouse.com Josh Wolf 7 p. m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. thecomedycatch.com Symphony Orchestra Concert Featuring Brahms and Borodin 7:30 p.m. Collegedale SeventhDay Adventist Church, 4881 Taylor Cir. (800) 768-8437

monday 11.11 “Kehilah: Community” - Craft Artists Of Southern Tennessee 9 a.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Dr. (423) 493-0270, jewishchattanooga.com Sharks - Meet at the OJ level 4 plaza 10:15 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695, tnaqua.org Zeraff 5:30 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Veterans Day Celebration 7 p.m. Soldiers and Sailors

"Tosca"

Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156 The McCallie Guitar Quartet 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081, thecamphouse.com Copyright Law, Ethics And The Artist 7:30 p.m. E.G. Fisher Library, 1289 Ingleside Ave. (423) 745-7782, fisherlibrary.org

tuesday 11.12 “Kehilah: Community” - Craft Artists Of Southern Tennessee 9 a.m. - 5 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Dr. (423) 493-0270, jewishchattanooga.com “Ragtime” 2:30 p.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave. (931 )484-5000, ccplayhouse.com Tree by Jane Gillespie 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com Chattanooga Songwriters Assn. presents Devin Belram, Katrina Barclay and Charley Yates.

Hosted by Anthony Quails 7 p.m. Heritage House Arts and Civic Center, 1428 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-9474.

wednesday 11.13 “Kehilah: Community” - Craft Artists Of Southern Tennessee 9 a.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Dr. (423) 493-0270, jewishchattanooga.com 2013 Sanders Family Christmas 11 a.m. Cumberland County Playhouse, 221 Tennessee Ave., Crossville. (931) 484-5000, ccplayhouse.com

“Tosca” (video from The Met) 6:30 p.m. East Ridge 18, 5080 S. Terrace, East Ridge. carmike.com Open Studio - You Pick the Painting 7 p.m. Artsy-U, 5084 S. Ter., East Ridge. (423) 321-2317, artsychattanooga.com

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ongoing “Meditations: New Work by Scott Hillard & Steve Olszewski” 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Mon-Sat, 1 - 5 p.m. Sun. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033, river-gallery.com “ Work by John Stone” 11 a.m. - 5 p.m. Tues.- Sat. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282, avarts.org “Tour d’Art” 11 a.m. - 6 p.m., Mon-Sat, 1 - 5 p.m. Sun. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214, intowngallery.com “Fine Art Landscapes” Reflections Gallery, 6922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072, reflectionsgallerytn.com “Miki Boni” 11 a.m, - 7 p.m. Mon-Sat Graffiti: A Hill City Art Joint, 505 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 400-9797, hillcityart.com Rock City Raptors 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Fri-Sat, 11 a.m. - 3 p.m.

Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com

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chattanoogapulse.com • November 7-13, 2013 • The Pulse • 17

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Screen

john devore

Skip This Counseling Sesssion Script at odds with action in “The Counselor”

I

SAW “THE COUNSELOR” PRIMARILY BECAUSE I read a script excerpt online in which Cameron Diaz’s character sexually violates the windshield of a Ferrari. Javier Bardem’s character describes the act to his lawyer, saying, “It was like one of those, one of those catfish things, you know, one of those bottom feeders you see going up the way of the aquarium sucking its way up the glass.”

That one line of dialogue was so baffling and lewd that I had to know what the rest of the film was like. As cringe-inducing as it is written, Bardem’s delivery makes it worse, especially when he garnishes the line with a quick succession of popping sounds.

Cormac McCarthy is known for his unrelenting and sparse novels, steeped in crime and hopelessness. His books are challenging reads, not due to length or word choice, but because the desperation that flows through the narrative latches onto the reader, making each page more difficult than the last. Yet they are rewarding, and have led to some excellent films, like “No Country for Old Men.” Pairing McCarthy with Ridley Scott and adding a dynamic cast with people like Michael Fassbender and Brad Pitt seems like a home run. It isn’t. Despite a ruthless screenplay, the film plods its way through each scene, never building any excitement or tension.

“

them, those that take advantage of their products, and those that carry out the killings are equally responsible for the heinous inhuman actions of the cartel.

There is no escape for those that cross their path; no one is innocent no matter how innocent they appear to be.

You might think that with such high stakes, the film would be highly engrossing. Unfortunately, McCarthy’s writing gets in the way of the pacing. Most of the characters talk in long, wordy speeches that seem at odds with their characterization. The words are beautiful and careful, strong writing that would leap from the page of a novella or short story and burn into the memory of the reader.

It would match well with absorbing descriptions of the desert landscape. On film, however, the audience is too aware of the composition. We know that people don’t talk this way, especially highranking members of drug cartels. Philosophical musings simply work better when read than they do when spoken aloud.

Aside from the screenplay, which again would be a wonderful read, the acting is effective if understated. Javier Bardem continues in his never-ending quest for a good haircut, and while he is a good actor, the wordiness of the film is occasionally too much for his heavy Spanish accent. Pitt and Fassbender fare better, as does Cameron Diaz, although I’m still not clear on the motivations for her character, and by the time the film got around to explaining it with cheetah metaphors, I was more than ready for the lights to come up.

The film is too long by about 20 minutes, and waiting for the resolution for each character was like standing in line at the grocery store, counting the 15

You might think that with such high stakes, the film would be highly engrossing. Unfortunately, McCarthy’s writing gets in the way of the pacing.

“The Counselor” tells a story of drug smugglers and Mexican cartels, seeming to revel in the brutality of the lifestyle. There are several inventive murders: decapitation appears to rank high in the causeof-death reference book. As with most McCarthy works, criminals are almost an otherworldly force, single-minded, merciless and punishing. Those that work with

Music for Chattanooga’s Coolest Generation

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is looking for a few good

items in the cart in front of you when the sign clearly says ten items or less. You just want to get what you came for and go home. The movie isn’t an entire waste, although the notions of sexuality seem to have come directly from the mind of a 15-year-old. There are some very good speeches—the film may become a quotable trivia piece for film buffs a few years down the line. I can see it having staunch defenders in the near future. They’ll be wrong, but it might be a fun debate.

Ultimately, the film is frustrating for what it might have been. There is a lot of talent here, too much for it to become an “Ishtar,” but nothing of note really happens in the story and what little does happen happens to people we don’t care about.

Thrillers need thrills and suspense needs tension. “The Counselor” is woefully short on both.

The Counselor Starring: Javier Bardem, Penélope Cruz, Brad Pitt, Cameron Diaz Directed by: Ridley Scott Rating: R Running time: 111 minutes

writers

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We reward our writers with fair pay and a showcase for their skills.

If you’ve got the “write stuff,” we want your voice in The Pulse.

Email samples of your best clips along with a brief bio to: creative@chattanoogapulse.com

chattanoogapulse.com • November 7-13, 2013 • The Pulse • 19

Spirits Within

mike dobbs

A Wee Dram or Two from the Bonnie Soil Our man on the bar stool sips single malts at CBC

I

n the world of Scotch, there are three distinct types of people.

There are those that absolutely adore the stuff.

There are those that are indifferent or less.

Then there’s my friend Jeff Peterson who mixes it with grape soda.

I happen to fall into the first category. Having visited the Bonnie Soil on occasion, I’ve developed a fondness for the uisge beatha (lively water).

“

Today, we’re not going to mess about with mixes, juices, fruit slices or fireworks. All you really need for Scotch is a glass and maybe a single ice cube or slight splash of water.

As far back as the late 1400s, grown men in kilts have been enjoying this hearty whisky (no “e” for the Scots). By law, Scotch must be made in Scotland and aged in oak barrels for at least three years. So, if someone offers you a genuine blend from the Highlands of Iowa, it’s likely not the real deal and might be better avoided.

Over the weekend, I visited the iconic Chatta-

nooga Billiard Club in downtown Chattanooga. I had a seat downstairs in front of the giant display of bottles with owner (and VW bug enthusiast) Janice Windham.

The CBC is well known for more than a game of 8-ball. It’s also teamed with a place to enjoy a fine cigar with your dram. It also happens to have Chattanooga’s largest Scotch selection, boasting 65 different bottles.

Shortly after I arrived, bartender Chi-Chi sat three bottles and glasses in front of me. I thought, “OK, Let’s Make a Deal.” Two of these were single malts. Single-malt Scotch whisky means a Scotch whisky produced from only water and malted barley at a single distillery by batch distillation in pot stills.

Today, we’re not going to mess about with mixes, juices, fruit slices or fireworks. All you really need for Scotch is a glass and maybe a single ice cube or slight splash of water. (Unless your name is Jeff Peterson.)

Starting from the left, Chi-Chi poured a Johnnie Walker Black.

First blended in 1857, the Black Labeled version of the brand is a 12-year-old blend of three whiskys with a dark, peaty flavor. The first impression is a very drinkable, smoky yet sweet whisky. Johnnie Walker Black is a blended Scotch, comprised of several single-malt whiskies and grain whiskies.It’s the perfect introduction to single malts, proved by the brand’s popularity.

From the middle, I pulled the glass containing the offering from Ardbeg from the Isle of Islay, Argyll and Bute. Ardbeg distillery has been pro-

ducing whisky since 1798, and began commercial production in 1815.

My immediate thought as I took a sniff of it was peat and re-peat. Wow! If you’ve ever sat in a room with a peat-burning fireplace, then you know exactly what Ardbeg smells like. To me, it’s glorious. Cheaper than an airline ticket to Prestwick and a lot faster, this will place you right there! I’ve met a new friend from the Hebrides and I don’t have to keep asking this one, “What did you say?”

Last and way from least, we slip over a sip of Glenmorangie Single Malt.

Distilled on the shores of Dornoch Firth in the tallest copper pot stills in Scotland, the “vale of big meadows,” as it translates, is a 10-year-old that takes much of its aroma from being aged in port and sherry barrels. Its citrus flavor is showcased against an extremely mellow palate that makes for a light, airy experience. It’s by far the smoother of the three. In comparison it could be considered dessert for this afternoon’s tasting.

You really deserve to treat yourself to one (or all) of these. Head over to CBC and ask Chi-Chi about her first experience with Scotch. But reserve taking a sip until you’ve stopped laughing.

Meanwhile, I’m off to Scotland and today I can do it without leaving town.

Cheers!

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hensdistributing.com 20 • The Pulse • November 7-13, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

Glenmorangie

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Free Will Astrology SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Not for all the whiskey in heaven,” begins a poem by Charles Bernstein. “Not for all the flies in Vermont. Not for all the tears in the basement. Not for a million trips to Mars. Not for all the fire in hell. Not for all the blue in the sky.” Can you guess what he’s driving at? Those are the things he will gladly do without in order to serve his passion. “No, never, I’ll never stop loving you,” he concludes. According to my understanding of your astrological cycle, Scorpio, now is a good time for you to make a comparable pledge. What is the one passion you promise to devote yourself to above all others? And what are you willing to live without in order to focus on that passion? Be extravagant, pure, wild, and explicit.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Dmitri Razumikhin is a character in Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s novel Crime and Punishment.

His surname is derived from the Russian word for “reason.” At one point he makes a drunken speech that includes these observations: “It’s by talking nonsense that one gets to the truth! Not one single truth has ever been arrived at without people first having talked a dozen reams of nonsense, even ten dozen reams of it.” Let’s make this a centerpiece of your current strategy, Sagittarius. Just assume that in order to ferret out the core insights that will fuel your next transformations, you may need to speak and hear a lot of babble.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): At the 2013 Grammy Awards, actor Neil Patrick Harris introduced the band Fun this way: “As legendary gangster rap icon Katharine Hepburn once said, if you follow all the rules, you miss all the fun.” Everything about that vignette is a template for the approach you can use now with great success. You should gravitate toward festive events and convivial gatherings. Whenever possible, you should sponsor, activate, and pave the way for fun.

Toward that end, it’s totally permissible for you to tell amusing stories that aren’t exactly factual and that bend the rules not quite to the breaking point.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Some spiritual traditions regard the ego as a bad thing. They imply it’s the source of suffering—a chronically infected pustule that must be regularly lanced and drained. I understand this argument. The ego has probably been the single most destructive force in the history of civilization. But I also think it’s our sacred duty to redeem and rehabilitate it.

After all, we often need our egos in order to get important things done. Our egos give us the confidence to push through difficulties. They motivate us to work hard to achieve our dreams. Your assignment, Aquarius, is to beau-

Jonesin’ Crossword

rob brezsny

tify your ego as you strengthen it.

Build your self-esteem without stirring up arrogance. Love yourself brilliantly, not neurotically.

Express your talents in ways that stimulate others to express their talents.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Dr. Seuss wrote his children’s books in English, but he liked to stretch the limits of his native tongue. “You’ll be surprised what there is to be found once you go beyond ‘Z’ and start poking around,” he said. One of the extra letters he found out there was “yuzz,” which he used to spell the made-up word “yuzz-a-ma-tuzz.”

I recommend that you take after Seuss—not only in the way you speak, but also in the ways you work, play, love, dream, and seek adventure. It’s time to explore the territory beyond your comfort zone.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): I’m not a big fan of fear. It gets far more attention than it deserves.

The media and entertainment industries practically worship it, and many of us allow ourselves to be riddled with toxic amounts of the stuff. Having said that, though, I do want to put in a good word for fear. Now and then, it keeps us from doing stupid things. It prods us to be wiser and act with more integrity. It forces us to see the truth when we might prefer to wallow in delusion. Now is one of those times for you, Aries. Thank your fear for helping to wake you up.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Poetry might be defined as the clear expression of mixed feelings,” wrote W.H. Auden. If that’s true, then your job is to be a poet right now. You seem to be awash in a hubbub of paradoxical inclinations, complete with conflicting desires and mismatched truths. There’s no shame or blame in that. But you do have a responsibility to communicate your complexity with honesty and precision. If you can manage that, people will treat you with affection and give you extra slack.

They might even thank you.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): What can you do to improve your flow?

Are there obstructions in your environment that keep you from having a more fluidic rhythm? Do you harbor negative beliefs that make it harder for life to bestow its natural blessings on you? Now is the time to take care of glitches like these, Gemini. You have more power than usual to eliminate constrictions and dissolve fixations. Your intuition will be strong when you use it to drum up graceful luck for your personal use. Be aggressive. Be bold. Be lyrical. It’s high time for you to slip into a smooth groove.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the beginning of his novel The White Castle, Orhan Pamuk of-

fers this meditation: “To imagine that a person who intrigues us has access to a way of life unknown and all the more attractive for its mystery, to believe that we will begin to live only through the love of that person—what else is this but the birth of great passion?” How do you respond to this provocative statement, Cancerian? Here are my thoughts: On the one hand, maybe it’s not healthy for you to fantasize that a special someone can give you what you can’t give yourself. On the other hand, believing this is true may inspire you to take an intriguing risk that would catalyze invigorating transformations. Which is it? Now is a good time to ruminate on these matters.

matt jones

“I’m a Little Bit Country” --and a little bit rap.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Canadians Tommy Larkin and Stephen Goosney are biological brothers, but they were adopted by different families when they were young. They lost touch for almost 30 years. Once they began looking for each other, it didn’t take long to be reunited. Nor did they have to travel far to celebrate. It turns out that they were living across the street from each other in the same small town in Newfoundland. I foresee a metaphorically similar experience in your future, Leo. When you get reconnected to your past, you will find that it has been closer than you realized.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): This will be an excellent week for you to talk with yourself—or rather, with yourselves. I’m envisioning in-depth conversations between your inner saint and your inner evil twin...between the hard worker and the lover of creature comforts ...between the eagerto-please servant of the greater good and the self-sufficient smartie who’s dedicated to personal success. I think that in at least some of these confabs, you should speak every word out loud. You should gesture with your hands and express colorful body language. It’s prime time for your different sub-personalities to get to know each other better.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the coming week you will probably have more luck than usual if you play keno, craps, blackjack, bingo, or roulette. People who owe you money will be inclined to pay you back, so you might want to give them a nudge. I won’t be surprised if you find a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk or if a store cashier accidentally gives you way too much change. In the wake of these tendencies, your main assignment is to be alert for opportunities to increase your cash flow. For example, if you wake up in the middle of the night with an idea for boosting your financial fortunes, I hope you will have a pen and notebook by the bed to write it down.

Across 1 Pipe type 4 1901, in Roman numerals 8 Seattle forecast, often 12 Famed infielder, to fans 14 Eagle claw 15 With the bow, to a cellist 16 Architect Ludwig Mies van der ___ 17 1990s candidate ___ Perot 18 Feline remark 19 Rap/country collaboration with the album “Defying Gravity with Dr. Octagon”?

22 Grand ___ (sporty Pontiacs) 23 Cries at moments of clarity 24 London lavatory 25 Big name in hummus 27 “M*A*S*H” extras 28 Burger holder 31 Rap/country collaboration with an extremely crunk version of “Ring of Fire”?

35 World Series unit

37 “Boyz N the Hood” actress Long 38 Adam and Eve’s second son 39 Rap/country collaboration with the hit “Konvict in Tight Fittin’ Jeans”?

44 Part of a cookware set 45 “I Will Follow ___” (1963 #1 hit) 46 Elliott of “Get Ur Freak On” 48 “___ blimey!”

49 Jessica of “7th Heaven” 51 Weed-attacking tool 53 Rap/country collaboration with a Dirty South version of “Whatcha Gonna Do with a Cowboy”?

57 “Perry Mason” star Raymond 58 Changed the decor of 59 Give this for that 60 Brand owned

by Kellogg’s 61 Dementieva of tennis 62 Giga- times 1000

63 Come to judge 64 “Law & Order: SVU” actor B. D. ___ 65 Like professors emeritus: Abbr.

Down 1 Heavy coat 2 Loud noises from racing engines 3 Silvery fish around the Pacific Northwest 4 “West Side Story” role 5 Coagulates 6 Dance in a pit 7 Pharmacy supply 8 “First Blood” hero 9 For a rectangle, it’s length times width 10 Clickable symbol 11 Like, immediately 13 Actor Benicio ___ Toro 14 1984 Leon Uris novel 20 Lagerfeld of fashion 21 Like Santa’s cheeks 26 “Tres ___” 27 Attack a chew toy

28 Mom-to-be’s party 29 “___ only as directed” 30 Nashville Predators’ org.

32 Suffix after ant- or syn33 Smack 34 Musical with meowing 35 Word after age or gender 36 Rap sheet letters 40 “Hold everything!”

41 Flight staff 42 Marcos who collected shoes 43 Mah-jongg piece 47 Big song for Lionel Richie 48 Its D stands for “disc” 49 Obama’s righthand man 50 B.B. King’s “Why ___ the Blues” 52 Person living abroad for good 53 Winter Olympics event 54 Reckless yearning 55 Change of address, to a realtor 56 “Spring ahead” letters 57 Flower garden

Copyright © 2013 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0648 chattanoogapulse.com • November 7-13, 2013 • The Pulse • 21

On the Beat

alex teach

The Other Southside: Chattanooga Spotlight There is place on Market Street where the novelty of downtown runs out and the giggling of children splashing in fountains and passages cannot be heard any longer.

A point at which there are no more bookstores, kayak sales, or even street vendors hawking hot dogs from carts on a summer afternoon, because the customer base shifts from one that is not so much looking to “buy” as to “take”, and those that aren’t sticking guns in the noses of the area proprietors are urinating on the sides of their buildings (or inside on aisle 5) in the daylight and taking a pickaxe to the roof under cover of night to facilitate more private entries after hours.

(It seems extreme, but I once saw this done to a short-lived fly-fishing shop off the interstate. I mean, really: Who commits to hours of labor to break into a fly-fishing shop?)

This place? It’s called Alton Park.

For perspective, the beauty and comparable safety of the Tennessee Aquarium lives in the

100 block of Market Street, but Alton Park Boulevard is what its name turns into by the 3000 block and I’ve always been glad about that. It deserves better.

That’s not to say that progress hasn’t been made in that area since I first started this path and made my first crack-rock arrest from the shoe of some young man dumb enough to get caught by a rookie in his first week of training. It took place in a sweltering convenience store park-

“

But most importantly, in order for there to be a Next Big Thing there has to be a place to be it, and perhaps Alton Park will get its chance.

CheCk out the Cat in the hat

ing lot where there are more shootings than pre-packaged hot pickles sold (which, for the record, is some gross shit whose consumers deserve the loose stools that they must create).

Progress…but for the most part, only according to the carpetbaggers who have gobbled up longabandoned properties hoping to repeat the same crazy dollars made on the properties “revitalized” to the north during the grant-fest of the early 2000s.

I am of course biased. I have only seen the worst of this area compared to most investigators, activists, and even residents... but perception is reality, and that’s the cost of having humans do the work of police officers.

No apologies forthcoming.

Before the industrial plants shut down I witnessed turn-ofthe-century (the prior century, that is) weapons melted down in the molten slag of Wheeland Foundry with a tear running down my cheek. I’ve found and helped retrieve bloated corpses dumped in the polluted creeks behind it and that of U.S. Pipe.

I’ve seen the elongated shotgun

shacks that were once betrothed to the proverbial “company store” started by Union Colonel Wheeland himself. I’ve served warrants there and in the red-brick apartments that have since been razed, and are now a literal multi-milliondollar apartment complex for the residents that have lived there on assistance for the last six generations. (Not years, by the way; I said “generations”. At least I find that stunning.)

Because of these things, it’s not that there isn’t anything for me to “like”; I’m rather sure there is, statistically speaking.

It’s just that I’ve never had a reason to.

Alton Park. Residents and investors once hoped it would be the Next Big Thing, but as bubbles burst and the realization crept in that there was only so much grant money and unrealized showroom space needed in this world (and, apparently, no future in the “discerning-felon” shopping demographic either), people finally realized the revitalization of downtown stopped neatly 15 blocks before them

and wasn’t going to arrive this decade or the next.

That’s OK, though. My memories of that place are old and my opinion means even less than the promises of my elected employer. But most importantly, in order for there to be a Next Big Thing there has to be a place to be it, and perhaps Alton Park will get its chance.

East Brainerd was once farmland and downtown was once a stagnant pit of swelling concrete and empty buildings…but for now? Alton Park is that unrealized country. Come, visit. …just don’t bring a lot of cash, and make your business quick.

Heh. When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www. facebook.com/alexteach

come in for daily drink specials!

The only place in Town where you can sing karaoke anyTime.

be sure to book your holiday party now! check out thursday dollar beer night!

410 market • (423) 757-wing

singitorwingit-chattanooga.com

22 • The Pulse • November 7-13, 2013 • chattanoogapulse.com

chattanoogapulse.com • November 7-13, 2013 • The Pulse • 23

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