The Pulse
CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE
OCTOBER 2, 2014
A Day Off with dr. rick By Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib
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Contents
The Pulse CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE
EDITORIAL
Managing Editor Gary Poole Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny Madeline Chambliss • Steven Disbrow John DeVore • Matt Jones Josh Lang • Marc T. Michael Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib Alex Teach • Michael Thomas
October 2, 2014 Volume 11, Issue 40
John Westbrook enjoys his very first pedicure.
Editorial Interns Maggie Hanna • Zach Nicholson Rachael Poe
Jared Spool
Cartoonists & Illustrators Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow
Features
Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull
4 BEGINNINGS: Jared Spool dishes: A good user experience designer is...
ADVERTISING
Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Craig Glass • Rick Leavell • Lisa McVay Chester Sharp • Stacey Tyler
10 SCIENCE: Learn why an Indian MOM has arrived on Mars.
CONTACT
Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.
6
A Day Off With Two Metro Guys
The word ‘metrosexual’ was coined in 1994 to describe a man (especially one living in an urban culture) who is meticulous about his grooming and appearance.
12
Band No Longer On The Run
I hear about a band in Chattanooga called Hot Damn, and without even hearing them I already kinda liked them. It is a good name, after all. Then I heard them. Hot damn, they’re good!
18
Mind The Art
Fall in Chattanooga means art is bustin’ out all over. So this week, instead of featuring just one artist or one event, we’re giving you a sampler of all the choices.
16 REVIEWS: Dust Sculptures tours prog metal, GOAT gets tribal. 17 DINING: TacoNooga’s food is outside la caja—and so good. 23 BUSINESS: Townsend Atelier has grown to become a Southside mainstay. 24 SCREEN: “Tusk” is ridiculous—but it’s Kevin Smith-style ridiculous. 26 MIXOLOGY: Kitchen at Union Square offers fresh, unique drinks. 30 ON THE BEAT: Officer Alex is seriously annoyed by recent events. Seriously.
You complete us. Now recruiting Media Sales Professionals to represent Chattanooga’s Alternative Newsweekly Send your resume and cover letter to: Mike Baskin, Director of Sales mikebaskin@brewermediagroup.com In the subject line, please include: Brewer Sales Position Learn more about us at BrewerMediaGroup.com. Brewer Media is an equal opportunity employer.
brewer media everywhere. every day.
chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 3
news • views • rants • raves
BEGINNINGS
updates » CHATTANOOGApulse.com facebook/chattanoogapulse EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
Let Them Make (Startup) Cake Jared Spool dishes: A good user experience designer is...
“
If you can’t deal with disorder and chaos for periods of time, it’s going to be a really difficult thing.”
Chattanooga Startup Week kicks off next week, with dozens of lectures and seminars aimed at young companies and the people who create them, as well as the presentation of the city’s first CHA Startup Awards. Jared Spool is one of those speakers. As cofounder of Center Centre, the oneof-a-kind school for user experience (UX) designers that’s aiming for a January 2015 opening in Chattanooga, Spool has dual credentials for Startup Week. He’s helping create one himself, and his startup is all about cultivating a key resource for startups: UX design. “It used to be you could start a business and worry about the design of your products later, once you got established, but
now your competitive angle for many of these things is to be able to produce something that’s better designed than the established leaders,” he says. The first iPhone, for example, was so successful in 2007 because the rest rich bailey of the phone industry wasn’t paying attention to what made phones frustrating. “Apple, who was not in the phone industry, was able to introduce a product that changed the world,” he says. “They came out with something that had a better experience, a better design. That’s where the bigger opportunities are for innovation for startups today: going in and talking something with lot of friction and frustration and pretty much providing the same service without that friction or frustration.” Spool and co-founder Leslie Jensen-Inman have gotten Tennessee Higher Education Commission approval for their school, hired their staff, and set up their space. The final design item is creating more financial opportunities for students to attend. They have already received $100,000 from the Benwood Foundation for scholarships. Now they are working with Chattanooga banks to be sure loans are available. Their goal is to admit 36 students to the two-year program in January 2015, and they are already interviewing candidates. “Design is a messy business,” says Spool, who
News
4 • The Pulse • october 2-8, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
compares it to making a cake. During the cooking, the kitchen gets messy, but when it’s time to serve the cake, the kitchen needs to be clean. “We need people who are comfortable in both environments,” he says. “If you can’t deal with disorder and chaos for periods of time, it’s going to be a really difficult thing. On the other hand, if you always live a world of disorder and chaos and can’t clean it up to make it neat and orderly, that’s going to be difficult, too. We’re looking for people who understand the distinction between those things, and have a history of switching between them like a good baker does.” **** Jared Spool speaks on “Why It’s a Great Time to be a UX Designer” at 4 p.m., Wednesday, Oct. 8, at Center Centre, 811 Broad St., Suite 400. Other national speakers include David Weinberger, author of Too Big To Know; Chris Guillebeau, author of The $100 Startup; UX designer Aaron Irizarry; and Victor Saad, founder of the Experience Institute. For a full schedule of events, visit startupweekcha.com.
EdiToon
by Rick Baldwin
Open Windows, Open Spaces, Open City Galleries, outdoor sculptures, and murals—it’s no secret that local art helps make Chattanooga shine. And there’s always room for more. It’s nice to hear about a project like Open Spaces, bringing the community together to add splashes of color to a few blank windows. Earlier this year, River City Company challenged local artists, makers, technologists and creative thinkers to design interactive displays for empty storefront windows throughout the downtown City Center neighborhood. With a total of 19 installations complete, River City Company and the Lyndhurst Foundation are celebrating the launch
of Open Spaces on Friday, Oct. 3 with a party that is free and open to the public. Starting at 7 p.m., at the Waterhouse Pavilion in Miller Plaza, art-lovers can tour the installations and meet the artists involved with each display. A reception
IN THIS ISSUE
Rick Pimental-Habib Our cover story this week is written by Dr. Richard L. PimentalHabib, Ph.D., C.C.H., better know as “Dr. Rick”. He is an author, psychotherapist, educator and minister, and holds a doctorate in clinical hypnotherapy with an emphasis in mind/body wellness. He
developed practices in Los Angeles, the Florida Keys, and now in Chattanooga, with specializations in individual and relationship counseling. Upon settling here, Dr. Rick created Well Nest, his mind/ body/spirit wellness center offering alternative healing services—from meditation classes and yoga to wellness workshops and retreats. Visit DrRPH.com, WellNestChattanooga.com, or follow @DrRickWellNest.
with live music, hors d’oeuvres, a cash bar and art and tech demonstrations will follow at 8 p.m. According to organizers, the installations, which span from 6th St. to MLK Blvd. and Chestnut St. to Georgia Ave., will be on display for one year or until the space is leased. Spend an evening downtown and experience Chattanooga’s newest works of art. After all, you never know what inspiration you’ll find… For more information, including a list of artists, visit openspaceschattanooga. com — Madeline Chambliss
Marc T. Michael Featured music writer Marc T. Michael covers the local music scene for The Pulse, and from an early age had two passions in life: music and writing. Noticeably selftaught at one and educated at the University of Kentucky for the other, Marc moved
to Chattanooga back in the fall of 1993. When not playing with local Irish group the Molly Maguires, Marc can be found hosting trivia matches throughout the city as the regional manager for Challenge Entertainment. An avid supporter of Chattanooga’s burgeoning music scene, he currently resides in Red Bank with his wife Bryanna, his daughter Libby and two cats who, truth be told, are actually in charge of everything. chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 5
COVER STORY
A Day Off With Two Metro Guys
Dr. Rick and friend John discover the delights of…mani-pedis By Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib
John Westbrook enjoys his very first pedicure.
“
The word ‘metrosexual’ was coined in 1994 to describe a man (especially one living in an urban culture) who is meticulous about his grooming and appearance.”
T
hose who’ve followed my “Shrink Rap” column over the years are very familiar with the theme of good self-care. You’ve read about not only the benefits of taking care of yourself, but the importance of it, as quality self care also improves the lives of those you care about, care for, or simply love. You become a better provider, partner, lover, offspring and parent when your own coffers are full, and your needs—mind, body and spirit—are conscientiously met.
6 • The Pulse • october 2-8, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
With this in mind, I decided to take this theme into new territory—at least for most men—to explore not just self-care, but self-indulgence, uberrelaxation, rejuvenation, exfoliation. But before we head to the deeper end of this pool, let’s just take a quick moment to explore the word “metrosexual.” Some folks may find it confusing, with narcissistic, oaky, plum-scented undertones and a selfish finish, while others just find it cool. So here’s a compiled definition, taken mostly from Wiki: the word “metrosexual” was coined in 1994 to describe a man (especially one living in an urban culture) who is meticulous about his grooming and appearance, typically spending time and money on shopping as part of this. The term is popularly thought to describe heterosexual men who adopt fashions and lifestyles stereotypically associated with homosexuals, although, by definition a metrosexual can be gay, straight or bisexual. In the ’80s, he was found only inside fashion magazines such as GQ. In the ’90s, he was everywhere and he was shopping. In the ’00s, the term became globally popular. Think David Beckham, who has been described on salon.com as “the biggest metrosexual in Britain.” Here I’m using “metrosexual” in its most lighthearted meaning, to refer simply to a man who is interested in, and whose behavior reflects, the growing trend of males who want to look good, feel good and take good care of themselves.
The challenge I invited my friend, John Westbrook, to join me for a day of healthy hedonism. I figured this adventure would be great fun with an open-minded pal. He’s my co-facilitator at the healing retreats at my wellness center, and he’s very interested in developing his knowledge and skills of healing, and helping others to be well. And while both of us care about our appearance, we’ll choose comfort over chic most of the time, veering a bit from the hardcore definition of metrosexual. That doesn’t mean we don’t have a sense of style and want to know we look good. John’s tall and slim with long hair. I’m tall, bearish and bald. But in another show of atypical metrosexuality, we share a belief that while outer appearances may sometimes be important, inner beauty is where it’s at, and we subscribe firmly to the notion that everyone is beautiful in his or her own way. So far, so good. We didn’t want to just feel physically goodlooking. Or merely mentally well adjusted. Or solely spiritually centered. No, we wanted more. We wanted to feel awesome. Inside and out. We needed to discover atypical, metro ways to accomplish this, pushing the boundaries of what guys would usually do, delving into techniques and rituals that some men may be unfamiliar with, and in the process, become living examples of the message: “Hey, it’s OK to want to pamper the body, nourish
the soul, feed the belly, uplift the spirit, and just… feel…great.” It was simply not going to cut it to sit in front of the flat screen and chill out with some decent vino. This day called for diving much deeper into the self-care and relaxation waters.
Destination rejuvenation Our first scheduled stop was lunch for physical nourishment, but John started his self-care day earlier, with coffee at Mean Mug. John: This is where I can pause and be quiet before my busy day begins.It’s a deliberate reprieve where I can care for my spirit, journal my feelings, and watch the birds scramble for scone scraps. I caught up with John at an outdoor table at Tupelo Honey. On this day there was a quartet playing in the courtyard; the beautiful music, like the breeze, came washing over us. We ordered big mimosas, ate hearty, healthy sandwiches, and chatted with our friendly waitress, soaking in the ambiance. We were unrushed, and feeling more relaxed by the minute. We were entering the zone. I suggested that we follow lunch with a little cardio…so we shopped. Actually, we window shopped, casually wandering through Warehouse Row and feeling the vibe of this evolving space, seeing what’s new. Now we’ve worked off lunch. >> P. 8
chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 7
“
I felt like royalty, like a celebrity. Just the sense of letting someone take care of you is very relaxing and liberating.”
CALL 267-8534 OR VISIT THEATRECENTRE.COM
8 • The Pulse • october 2-8, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
Next stop: The pampering of the Royal Treatment Day Spa and Salon. The spa offers haircuts, skin care, massages and more. At the risk of sounding sexist, this is the part where some guys are going to raise their eyebrows, while most women will think, “Well, of course!” Ridicule us if you will, but I’m here to tell you— this was freakin’ Nirvana. There are many spas in Chattanooga but I chose this one because the owner, Rodney, assured me that it’s a place where men would feel comfortable. In fact, he’d noticed that more and more men are discovering the feel-good health benefits of a trip to the spa. Comfort was important to me, because if we felt anxious or unwelcome, how could we relax into a massage? Rodney told no lies. Upon our arrival, a glass of wine got the ball rolling. John: Speaking from a straight perspective, when men hear the word “spa,” or the phrase, “a day at the spa,” images of women in weird cucumber facial masks, hair wrapped in foil like an alien invasion, and long rows of gossip-ridden seats fill our minds. Here we have our false expectations limiting us. However, on this day, going with a friend, I was totally excited to try some pamperings I was always curious about, but felt awkward doing alone. For the newbie, I suggest getting a friend to go with to ease those social inhibitions the first time. Dr. Rick: After the first time you bravely make your way into the unknown, i.e., a spa, the unfamiliar becomes the familiar. John: With those concerns out of the way, I was free to just enjoy. I felt like
royalty, like a celebrity. Just the sense of letting someone take care of you is very relaxing and liberating. My favorite parts were the facial and pedicure. Closing your eyes and having your face pampered, receiving the shoulder, arm and hand massage…heaven! Dr. Rick: Mmm, the facial, surrounded by soothing music, candles and the very subtle scents of the facial “goodies”: melon, lemongrass, mint, chamomile and eucalyptus. These aromas are particularly great to open the airways and relax the body and mind. Then came the shoulder massage. I sort of melted. Then, my favorite, the pedicure… John: My feet were soaked, softened, scraped, prodded and massaged. Why do we give so little attention to our feet? Mine take a daily beating. The pedicure was amazing. Those of us who work in the field of “energy healing,” such as reiki, qigong, acupuncture, massage, t’ai chi and other therapies, understand that the head, hands and feet contain countless pressure points that, when activated through touch or certain movements, stimulate the healing process in all systems of the body. This is turn boosts the body’s “electrical grid,” if you will, promoting feel-good sensations and initiating the natural propensity for self-healing. In hypnotherapy and breath-work, we call this calming physiological reaction “the relaxation response.” It’s the opposite of the tense “fight-or-flight” response— and it does feel amazing. I found it encouraging that our skin care therapist, Jessica, was very knowledgeable not only about pro-
Jessica at Royal Treatment Day Spa and Salon
4
MAIN ROOFTOP PARTY
SATELLITE ROOFTOP PARTIES
7:30pm-10:30pm
4:30pm - 7:30pm
MUSIC
CITIPARK GARAGE
from
THE FUTUREBIRDS
CHATTANOOGAN HOTEL cedures for the skin to look good, but several for health, longevity and wellness. Her family benefits from her expertise, including one member who is a skin cancer survivor. And her tattooed, military, tough-guy husband regularly receives hair-waxing, facials and massages from her. If his buddies tease him, his response is, “Hey, my wife takes good care of me!” It was time to bookend our day with more sustenance. After such a harrowing day, it was now time to refuel. We headed back to the Southside for dinner and drinks on the roof of The Terminal. John: Ending our day at The Terminal was perfect: good beer, food, conversation, and I enjoyed learning more about craft beer from our very knowledgeable waitress For me, this was the exclamation point on the day’s theme of “You Deserve This.”
The results I think the most important aspect of a self-care day is awareness of what exactly that means to you, in the mo-
ment. Sometimes it may mean a hike or hitting the gym. Sometimes it may mean pampering. Either way, if you truly listen to what you need, then you’re able to care for all of yourself—mind, body and spirit. John: Taking a day off, stepping back and saying to myself, “you matter,” was just what I most needed. I learned that I need to give this to myself regularly, without fear and without placing silly societal rules or expectations on how that’s done. All I have to do is listen, and respect what I need. I’m a better man when doing that. So the take-away for us is this: selfcare, without worry of judgment, giving ourselves a regular dose of what feeds us—these are good things. Yes, we had to suffer through food, drink, shopping, massages, facials, manipedis, more food, all to make sure it’s safe out there for the men of Chattanooga to indulge. But you know, we’re here for you. We want you to live the very best life you can. To keep this upfront in your consciousness, from Albert Camus: “Life is the sum of all your choices.” I hope you choose a good life.
HUNTER MUSEUM
The
AFTER PARTY
HIGH POINT CLIMBING
RHYTHM & BLUES
October 11th - 4:30pm to 1:00am EAT. DRINK. MINGLE. HOP. Hop to 4 amazing rooftop parties and enjoy incredible views, delicious food and cocktails.
For tickets and information: 423-648-0963 / www.therooftophop.com
FOOD & DRINK PROVIDED BY:
chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 9
Fall Research Roundup Why an Indian MOM has arrived at Mars and other startling science facts
“
As Rosetta got closer to the comet’s nucleus, the pictures it sent back revealed one of the strangest objects humans have ever explored.”
Steven Disbrow is a computer programmer who specializes in e-commerce and mobile systems development. He’s also an entrepreneur, comic-book nerd, writer, improviser, actor, sometime television personality and parent of two human children.
Wow! It was a super-busy summer, science-wise. So, this month, rather than focus on a single topic, let’s look at some of the bigger stories that popped up over the last few months. • In early August, after a 12year journey, the European Space Agency’s Rosetta spacecraft reached its target, the comet known as 67P/ STEVEN W. ChuryumovGerasimenko (67P/CG). As Rosetta got closer to the comet’s nucleus, the pictures it sent back revealed one of the strangest objects humans have ever explored. At first, it looked like a dumbbell. Then a peanut. Then, sort of a peanutdumbbell thing, or a… well, it really doesn’t look like anything you’ve ever seen before. But it is super-cool. Best of all, on November 11, the lander Philae, which hitched a ride on Rosetta, will touch down on the comet! After attaching itself to 67P/CG (using harpoons and ice screws because there’s almost no gravity to speak of) the lander will be-
gin doing science right from the surface of the comet, something that’s never been done before. • If you still think diamond is the hardest substance on Earth, you’re a little behind the times. There are actually quite a few things that are harder than diamond. And, the hardest of them all is currently a man-made DISBROW s u b s t a n c e known as “Fullerite.” Fullerite is a substance made of “fullerenes.” Fullerenes are carbon molecules made up of 60 carbon atoms arranged in a sphere-like structure. The spheres look a bit like those geodesic domes created by Buckminster Fuller and were named “fullerenes” as an homage to Mr. Fuller. As you might guess, ultrahard materials are incredibly useful in manufacturing and other industries. The problem with Fullerite is that it’s traditionally been insanely difficult to make, requiring pressures of around 13 GPa (that’s “Giga Pascals” or 130,000 atmo-
Just A Theory
10 • The Pulse • october 2-8, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
spheres of pressure) and temperatures of about 800 degrees Celsius. But a team of Russian researchers has announced they’ve come up with a way to reduce both the needed pressure and temperature. They claim that by adding carbon disulfide to the process, the pressure needed is cut to just 8 GPa (or 80,000 atmospheres) and the temperatures required drop to just about room temperature. • Moving back out into the solar system, the past couple of weeks saw the arrival of not one, but two new robotic orbiters around Mars. The first to arrive, NASA’s Mars Atmosphere and Volatile Evolution (MAVEN) arrived on September 21 and will study Mars’ upper atmosphere. But the bigger news was the arrival of India’s Mars Orbiter Mission (MOM) spacecraft. While the mission itself has relatively modest goals (MOM carries just five instruments), the fact that it successfully arrived at Mars at all (no other country has ever made it to Mars on the first attempt), has caused a great deal of excitement and pride amongst the Indian community (as it should). With MOM’s success, India becomes just the fourth entity to successfully reach Mars. (The other three being the U.S., the former Soviet Union and the European Space Agency.)
• You might remember back in May, I told you about the BICEP2 project. BICEP2 had detected gravity waves that were basically “fingerprints” of the “Inflationary” period that followed the Big Bang. “Inflation” is the process by which the universe grew from a pinprick to the immense everything we see around us. The existence of these waves is predicted by Inflation theory and their discovery was the first direct evidence for Inflation. Unfortunately, the results just didn’t hold up. Other researchers found that the patterns detected by BICEP2 could be accounted for by minuscule silicate and carbonate particles scattered through interstellar space and magnetically aligned in a way that just happens to look exactly like the predicted patterns. That’s right. What was initially reported as the biggest discovery of the 21st century might actually turn out to have been dust. At this point, the results are still being sifted through and assessed. So, the original BICEP2 conclusions might still turn out to be true. (And, no, this result doesn’t invalidate either Big Bang or Inflation theory.) But hey, that’s how science works. You have to be able to defend your results. Especially when you claim to have proof of how the Universe started!
“Figuratively Speaking…” Sculpture by Maria Willison & Paintings by James Tucker October 3rd — November 4th
Reception October 3rd 5-9 505 Cherokee Boulevard (next to Sluggos)
bar
423-321-8891
www.thenorthshoregallery.com
Drink Specials Tuesday: 1/2 priced wine Wednesday: $4 featured infusions Thursday: 25% off low-grav drafts Friday: 25% off bottled beer Sunday: Brunch! $5 Bloody Marys and $3 mimosas ‘til close
55 Johnson Street flyingsquirrelbar.com
Weekday specials are from 5-10pm chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 11
MUSIC SCENE
Band No Longer On The Run
Hot Damn digs the roots of Southern rock
W The Devil Makes Three
The Banjos Are Back 3 Sisters is free and full of bodacious bluegrass Bluegrass is back in Chattanooga in full force with the arrival of the 3 Sisters Festival. Music will fill the riverside air this Friday and Saturday, Oct. 3 and 4. Sponsored and brought to you by the Fletcher Bright Company, 3 Sisters is totally free for everyone, so grab a friend and come enjoy that good ol’ Tennessee bluegrass. You’ll see the crowd and hear the music way before you get to Ross’s Landing with the Dismembered Tennesseans kicking things off on Friday at 6 p.m. Saturday will go even longer with Bluetastic Fangrass on stage at noon and The Devil Makes Three closing at 8:30 p.m. Everything is bluegrass, and the bands are a solid mix of traditional and contemporary. When you get hungry and thirsty, 3
Sisters has got you covered with food trucks and vendors ranging from Lupi’s to Good Dog to Rita’s. Get yourself a beer and a bite, settle down in your lawn chair and kick back to fingerpickin’ goodness. (Please note: no coolers or outside food allowed.) The schedule: Friday, Oct. 3: Dismembered Tennesseans, Claire Lynch Band, Rhonda Vincent & the Rage, Del McCoury Band Saturday, Oct. 4: Bluetastic Fangrass, Lone Mountain Band, Dismembered Tennesseans, Berklee College of Music Fiddlers, The Greenbriars, Steel Drivers, Balsam Range, The Devil Makes Three For more information, visit 3sistersbluegrass.com — Zach Nicholson
thu10.2
fri10.3
sat10.4
SING A SONG
machine music
soulful planet
Open Mic Night
Machines Are People Too
Soul Mechanic, Backup Planet
One of the hardestworking bands in Chattanooga returns to the intimate stage at JJ’s for a rocking night. 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com
Sure, there are dozens of things to do this Saturday night, but if you can only go to one show, this is the one for you. 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com
Grab your guitar (or instrument of choice) and come try out your brand-new material. Hap Henninger keeps things moving along. 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191
12 • The Pulse • october 2-8, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
hen I was a teenag—that is, first turned 21, my friends and I were very fond of a type of cinnamon schnapps called Hot Damn. It’s not that we were huge fans of schnapps; we just liked the name and had no real frame of reference for choosing spirits. Almost three decades later, I hear about a band in Chattanooga called Hot Damn, and without even hearing them I already kinda liked them.
Music marc t. michael
“
After running themselves ragged all spring and summer long, the band is now ready to settle down and start work on their first album.”
It is a good name, after all. Then I heard them. Hot damn, they’re good! The band’s lineup consists of Hope Treider on vocals, Jack Corey on vocals and guitar, Mason Tanner on bass, the illustrious Jon Wimpee on electric guitar, and on drums, well…I marvel at how a band that seems to have gone full Spinal Tap on its percussion section still manages to sound so tight—but I suppose that is a testament to the band and the drummers they know. Joe Rogers Jones, Ivan Garcias and Jonathan Susman have all sat upon the Iron (drummer’s) Throne now occupied by Kelly “Jelly” Turner. Sonically, the band has a ’70s ensemble feel. Their Reverbnation page describes them as Allman Brothers/Stones/ Big Brother and the Holding Company et al, but personally I’m going to have to add a distinct Grateful Dead vibe to the mix (particularly on the tune “Willow Garden”). It’s unashamedly “summer afternoon in the lawn chair with a cold one music” though I’ve no doubt it becomes “jump up and shake your butt” music once the sun goes down. It’s good old Southern roots rock. It definitely isn’t country, but its granddaddy was, and you can still hear that underneath, which is a lovely touch.
Keep Your Irish Eyes Open For The Red Rogues
Hot Damn rocks out live at Roots Fest
“There may not be a whole lot of live to tide you over for now, but there is certainly enough online to whet your appetite for more.”
The band’s success to date has almost been a little startling. It seems as though one day I heard there was a new band calling itself Hot Damn—and then for the next nine months the band was absolutely everywhere, gigging like there was no tomorrow. These days there isn’t much on the upcoming gig calendar (besides a private Halloween party I kinda wish I was going to…) but it isn’t for any terrible “well, that’s the end of that band” rea-
honest music
son. To the contrary, after running themselves ragged all spring and summer long, the band is now ready to settle down and start work on their first album. If they manage to carry the momentum of their performances into the studio, there is no doubt it will be a phenomenal piece of work when all is said and done. I have to admit: I wish I had
written this piece six months ago so I could direct you to a performance near you, but at least Hot Damn has a good online presence. You can find videos and tunes at their Reverbnation and Facebook pages, as well as at Hotdamn.com. There may not be a whole lot of live to tide you over for now, but there is certainly enough online to whet your appetite for more—and the moment that new album is ready to go, you’ll hear about it here. Trust me.
There’s a new Celtic act in town. They’re called the Red Rogues—and they’re an awful lot of fun. Acoustic duo Tommy Lifsey and Bill Lee are the be-kilted rogues who are bringing their own wonderfully eclectic mix of Irish, Scots, British and American tunes to a pub near you. Chattanooga Music Hall of Famer Tommy Lifsey has a long and storied career as a professional drummer and percussionist. Overland Express and Jimmy Tawater and the Grease Ball Band are just two of the feathers in his cap, not to mention a 20-year stint as house drummer at the Choo Choo Station House. Tommy brings his extensive percussive background to the Rogues as well as contributing flute and vocals to the mix. Bledsoe County native Bill Lee has played across the country (and across a few others too, including England and Ireland) refining his own particular musical style on mandolin and guitar. An excellent vocalist, he brings all three to bear on the Rogues. Well-versed in Celtic tunes, the fellows are just as adept at Americana, folk and even good old rock-n-roll, meaning that the Red Rogues can play pretty much anywhere to pretty much any crowd. This is, of course, in addition to their own original tunes, worthy of any Celtic festival you can name. The boys can be found around playing regularly at familiar and favorite venues like Tremont Tavern and 1885 Grill, to name a few. You can keep up with their — MTM upcoming gigs via Facebook.
local and regional shows
Scenic, Birds with Fleas and Vena Cave [$5] Old Time Travelers [FREE]
Thu, Oct 2 Sun, Oct 5
Live Trivia every Sunday afternoon from 4-6pm Ryan Oyer hosts Open Mic every Wednesday @ 8pm
$3 NEWCASTLE PINTS DURING THURSDAY SHOWS
9 pm 7 pm
Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * facebook.com/TheHonestPint
chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 13
LIVE MUSIC OCTOBER
2 THE WHITE ANIMALS FRI 8:30p 3 SOUL MECHANIC SAT 10p 4 UPTOWN BIG BAND TUE 8p 7 NATHAN ANGELO WED 9p 8 THU HOUR LATE 9:30p 9 THE SECRET SISTERS FRI 9p 10 LAZY HORSE
THU 9p
A TRIBUTE TO NEIL YOUNG
ORIGINAL NASHVILLE PARTY BAND
with BACKUP PLANET
COME AND GET YOUR DANCE ON
ONE OF OUR FAVORITE SINGERS with DIRECT DIVIDE
A MUST SEE SHOW - TRUST US!
10.11 ROOFTOP HOP AFTER PARTY with MATT STEPHENS PROJECT & BROKEDOWN HOUND
COMING SOON
MATT STILLWELL THE HOT NEW COUNTRY SOUND
CHRIS KNIGHT with CARDON SMITH
17
FRI 8p
WED 9p
22
ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE
221 MARKET STREET
HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM
MUSIC CALENDAR
CHATTANOOGA
Yo-Yo Ma
thursday10.2 CSO Lunchtime Concert Series 11:30 a.m. Warehouse Row 1110 Market St. chattanoogasymphony.org Live Jazz 6 p.m. The Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Bluegrass & Country Jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Church of Nazarene 6310 Dayton Blvd. chattanoogagrace.com Live Bluegrass 6:30 p.m. Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 702-7300 Bob DeYoung, Kaleena Goldsworthy, Ryder Pierce, Andrew Quails 6:30 p.m. Heritage House Arts and Civic Center 1428 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-9474 Bad Tattoo 7 p.m. Las Margaritas 1647 25th St. (423) 614-8855 Soddy-Daisy Jamboree 7 p.m. Soddy-Daisy Community Center 190 Depot St. (423) 332-1702 Yo-Yo Ma with Chattanooga
14 • The Pulse • october 2-8, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
Symphony & Opera 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com Jesse James, Tim Neal 7:30 p.m. Mexi Wings VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 296-1073 Lazy Horse: A Tribute to Neil Young 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Scenic, Birds with Fleas, Vena Cave 9 p.m. The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger
Pulse Pick: Claudia Nygaard Once described as “Will Rogers without the rope”, Nygaard is an entertainer known for her quick wit and an affable connection with her audience Claudia Nygaard Saturday, 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd.
9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Megan Jean and the KFB, Amethyst Kiah 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com
friday10.3 Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd.
elmesonrestaurant.com Sr. Recital: John Williamson, Kelly O’Bannon 6 p.m. Squires Recital Hall, Lee University 1250 Parker St. NE leeuniversity.edu 3 Sisters Music Festival 6 p.m. Ross’s Landing Riverfront Pkwy. 3sistersbluegrass.com Chattanooga Acoustic Showcase 7 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Courtney Daly 7 p.m. Talus Bar & Grill 812 Scenic Hwy. (423) 602-5604 The Scarlet Love Conspiracy 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Chris Hubbard 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 The White Animals, The Head 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Machines Are People Too, The Pass 10 p.m.
JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com
saturday10.4 The Transatlantic Chilean Folk Ensemble 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com 3 Sisters Music Festival Noon Ross’s Landing Riverfront Pkwy. 3sistersbluegrass.com Rocktoberfest Noon Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Glenwood Neighborhood Jazz Festival Noon Parkridge Hospital 2333 McCallie Ave. (423) 432-5922 Jason Thomas and the MeanEyed Cats 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com the Soil & the Sun, Joshua Powell & The Great Train Robbery 7:30 p.m.
The Camp House 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com EG Kight Album Release 8 p.m. Chattanooga Billiards Club 110 Jordan Dr. (423) 499-3883 Paul Smith and The Sky High Band 8 p.m. American Legion Post 81 227 James Asbury Ln. (423) 476-4451 Claudia Nygaard 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Soul Mechanic, Backup Planet 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Kara Ory Oke 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Rent Boys, Jack Trippers, Folk Killer, Tuff Tits 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com
sunday10.5 Rocktoberfest Noon Rock City Gardens
1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Sunday Night Irish Music Jam Session 5 p.m. Grocery Bar 1501 Long St. grocerybar.com chattanoogamarket.com Old Time Travelers 7 p.m. The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com
monday10.6 Monday Night Big Band 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com
tuesday10.7 Rick’s Blues Jam 7 p.m. Folk School of Chattanooga 1200 Mountain Creek Rd. chattanoogafolk.com Tim Starnes, Davey Smith 7 p.m. Sugar’s Downtown 507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com Pianist Charlie Albright 7:30 p.m. Squires Recital Hall, Lee University 1250 Parker St. NE leeuniversity.edu Open Mic with Mike McDade
MUSIC CALENDAR
Nathan Angelo
8 p.m. Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com Uptown Big Band 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Kindora, New Planet, Natural Habitz, Rock Floyd 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com
901 Carter St Inside City Cafe 423-634-9191 Thursday, October 2: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, October 3: 9pm Chris Hubbard Saturday, October 4: 10pm Kara Ory Oke Tuesday, October 7: 7pm
Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●
●
All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers
Join us on Facebook
wednesday10.8 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonrestaurant.com Wind Ensemble 7:30 p.m. Conn Center, Lee University 1053 Church St. NE leeuniversity.edu Nathan Angelo 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Adia Victoria, Bad Scout 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com
BLUSH LINGERIE, MARIE JO AND ELOMI
ELLIE’S FINE LINGERIE Bra Fitting Specialists Hard to Find Sizes Sleepwear & Bridal Collections After Hours Parties Available WAREHOUSE ROW 1110 MARKET ST. • SUITE 117A WWW.ELLIESLINGERIE.COM
chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 15
Record Reviews
REJOICE!
IT’S MONDAY (AND TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY!)
zach nicholson
One-man Progressive Band, Swedish Music of the World Dust Sculptures tours prog metal, GOAT gets tribal
MONDAYS: $2 PINTS
TUESDAYS: $3 MARTINIS
Dust Sculptures Far Above The Pines Available on Bandcamp
D
WEDNESDAYS: ½-PRICE WINE
ON GLASSES & BOTTLES
Chattanooga’s Warehouse Row East 11th & Lindsay St. (423) 779-0400 tupelohoneycafe.com
™
ust Sculptures just released Far Above The Pines, a 55-minute tour of progressive metal that stops by shoegazing, post-rock, death and doom. Among all that heavy dissonance and distortion, Dust Sculptures occasionally steps back into memories of soundscapes and acoustics. Far Above The Pines is a collision of genres, a unification of contrasts. It’s not an easy thing to do—to merge opposites—but Dust Sculptures has done it and given us an hour of a kind of progressive metal that we’ve never heard. But just who the hell is Dust Sculptures? Well, they’re from Nashville, but they haven’t played any shows. They had already released one album before Far Above The Pines back in October of 2013.
16 • The Pulse • october 2-8, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
GOAT Commune Sub Pop (US/CAN) Turns out Dust Sculptures is actually a single person—Josh Marberry. This guy manages to be vocalist, guitarist, bassist, drummer and producer, all wrapped up in one tight package. And maybe that begins to explain the instrumental unity in Far Above The Pines, if supernatural musicianship and uncanny composition can count as adequate explanations. It’s hard to explain how such an amazing album could have been “written, recorded, mixed, and mastered by Josh Marberry in a small bedroom between the summers of 2013 and 2014.” I mean, damn, one guy in a bedroom for one year produces this? Praise is all I have for him. So go support this one-man band and buy Far Above The Pines on his Bandcamp. The
best thing about the album is its accessibility. The album thrives on opposites, so even if you aren’t the person throwing up devil horns in the front row of a metal show, you’ll still love it. Far Above The Pines steps toward the evolution of progressive metal—and keeps a foot planted behind in tribute to what came before it.
S
ometimes I get so caught up in listening to local artists I forget there’s an unimaginably gigantic world of music out there just waiting for willing ears. So I decided to go swimming amid the sound waves, and found myself washed ashore in someplace faraway. I stumbled across the beach and was greeted by many men in ritual masks and costumes.
I asked where I was and they told me Korpilombolo, Sweden. They led me away to a village in the cold and sang and danced to something strange. I asked them, “What music is this?” They told me it was the music of the world. Swedish band GOAT released their album titled Commune on Sept. 23. The album combines the essences of tribal, psychedelic, and rock-nroll into something I’ve never heard before. It feels like the soundtrack to a modern ritual, like we should dance in the dark around a fire and sing as the tribal drums are pounding the beat into your legs. The bass is swimming all around your ears while you shut your eyes, the voices are harmony yelling at the earth and sky. But then the guitar hits you with some groovy lick that’s straight-up rock-n-roll. And suddenly the wah-wah pedals kick on and the bass picks up the beat and the percussion changes from tribal to drumset. Everything is that psychedelic rock straight from the ’70s. Then the track changes. A woman echoes in your ear, “There is only one true meaning with love. And that is to be a positive force in the constant creation of evolution.” The album dives back into the tribal and strange. This is GOAT and Commune—the interplay between psychedelic and tribal, modern and traditional, universe and individual. This is the music of the world.
From Mariscos to Pumpkin Tamales Northshore’s TacoNooga’s food is outside la caja—and so good Let’s face it: Chattanooga is up to its huevos rancheros in Mexican restaurants. Every street corner that isn’t occupied by a church, ecig shop or payday loan business seems to have a new “Mexican” restaurant hanging its hopes on what ends up being the same tired combination of tortillas, cheese, meat and vegetables. My cynical skepticism about our city’s Latin food choices was in full bloom when I first visited TacoNooga. Little did I know MICHAEL that my skepticism was about to be proven so wrong— so beautifully, deliciously wrong. TacoNooga sits just across from BrewHaus at 207A Frazier Avenue and is one of the few businesses in that area with dedicated parking just behind the building. The restaurant is brightly decorated with works from talented local artists, and has a great view of the tourists, post-hipster youth and other Northshore fauna that stroll by, thanks to the huge windows that line the front of the eatery. But I did not come for the décor, I came for the food, and as I read through the menu I could feel a twinge of optimism begin to form in my cynicism-hardened heart. This was a Saturday, so along with TacoNooga’s regular menu, my wife and I were handed separate menus delightfully titled “Mariscos—Saturdays and Sundays only.” Mariscos, you may remember from high school Spanish,
means “seafood” and these additional dishes were about to make me a very happy Noogan. With a dozen items to choose from, the weekend seafood menu showcases the variety of Mexican cuisine we rarely see here in Chattanooga. The “Vuelve a la Vida” cocktail with shrimp, octopus, raw oysters, ceviche, spicy tomato juice and avocado cerTHOMAS tainly sounded promising, as did the “Tostada de Ceviche,” with its tangy fish cured in citrus juices, then topped with jalapeno, onion and avocado. But this morning, co-owner and chef Armando Castro suggested I try the “7 Mares” (7 Seas) soup since I selfidentified as a devotee of all things seafood. The 7 Mares is not a dish to order on the side; this is a meal unto itself, overflowing with steamed crab legs, shrimp, octopus, scallops, fish, mussels and vegetables, all lounging in a flavor-packed broth that is beautifully seasoned with traditional flavors such as epazote. Castro took a few moments early in our visit to explain that everything on the menu is made from scratch, and many items are even made
Dining Out
TacoNooga 207-A Frazier Ave. Chattanooga, TN (423) 2757-5550
M-Th: 11 a.m. - 10 p.m. Fr-Sa: 11 a.m. - 10:30 p.m. Sunday: 11 a.m. - 9 p.m. www.taconooga.com
“Beginning this month, TacoNooga will be cooking up special fall treats, such as pumpkin tortillas, pumpkin tamales and agua de chilacayote.” to order, including the tortillas. Yes, you heard right: When you order an item served on or with tortillas, they are made to order just for you. This makes an enormous difference in the taste and the texture of the tortilla. My wife ordered Huarache with tender, marinated steak, house-made beans, finely shredded cabbage, queso fresco and TacoNooga’s signature red salsa on a handmade corn tortilla. Huaraches are not unique to TacoNooga, but the quality and flavors of their take on this dish may be the best in town. The thick, corn tortilla that serves as the base is crispy on the outside, fluffy on the inside and seasoned just right. Castro’s house-made beans are also particularly
tasty, thanks to an added depth of flavor from avocado leaves, arbol and guajillo chilis. The coolness of the queso fresco and the creaminess of the crema rounded out this generous entrée that continually lured me into stealing bites every time my wife made the mistake of looking away. I also ordered “Taquitos Mexicanos,” which are quite similar to the classic flautas we’ve all come to love, except these are assembled with TacoNooga’s made-to-order tortillas, house-made beans, freshly made guacamole and house red salsa, with your choice of chicken, potatoes or my favorite, chorizo and potatoes. These also come topped with queso fresco and cre-
ma so that every part of your palate gets some love from this crispy, sweet, savory and creamy delight. Beginning this month, TacoNooga will be cooking up special fall treats, such as pumpkin tortillas, pumpkin tamales and agua de chilacayote, a drink made from the chilacayote squash mixed with brown sugar, cinnamon (and sometimes pineapple) that can be enjoyed cold or hot. There are so many more reasons to visit TacoNooga, from their beers and beer cocktails (Michelada anyone?) to their duritos, fried cactus or roast-beef tender lengua. Grab your friends, family and get to TacoNooga now. They are definitely not just another pinche taco!
chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 17
ARTS SCENE
Mind The Art From galleries to theatres, this week’s a doozy for lovers of the arts
F
all in Chattanooga means art is bustin’ out all over. So this week, instead of featuring just one artist or one event, we’re giving you a sampler of all the choices. Consider cloning yourself to take them all in!
Making Artistic Connections River Gallery features paint, clay and fiber all this month Stop by the River Gallery this Friday to enjoy the opening reception for this month’s exhibit, “Connections.” The show features three unique talents: Tennessee artists Nancy Jacobsohn, North Carolina artist Lisa Klakulak, and Georgia artist Scott Hill. Hill uses the time-honored technique of glazing in his paintings, building up layer after layer of thin oil paint on canvas or antique objects. His pieces often feature solitary figures set against vast landscapes, creating a sense of eerie tranquility reminiscent of 16th-century Spanish landscapes and 19th-century Romanticism. Klakulak is a fiber artist who honors humanity’s long relationship with nature by using natural materials and traditional craft processes. She is especially interested in the use of natu-
ral dyes from minerals, plants and insects. Jacobsohn draws her inspiration from ancient Chinese, Indian and Etruscan artifacts. Her work is stylized and seeks to capture the spirit of the animals that she depicts. She works primarily with clay, reveling in the direct connection between hands and sculpture. All three artists will be present during the show’s opening reception on Friday, Oct. 3 at 6:30 p.m., and Jacobsohn will do a clay demonstration on Saturday, Oct. 4 at 11 a.m. — Rachael Poe “Connections” River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com
fri10.3
SAT10.4
Sun10.5
braaaaaaains!
family funtime
art appreciation
Zombie Shoot
Ronald McDonald House Autumn Children’s Festival
Free First Sunday at the Hunter
Get into the Halloween spirit by re-enacting your own version of the “Walking Dead”. 7 p.m. Insane Paintball 1200 Wisdom St. (423) 624-2121 survivealive.com
Fun for the entiire family, all to help a great cause. 10 a.m. Tennessee Riverpark 4301 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 778-4338 rmhchattanooga.com
Come explore one of the best museums in the entire Southeast. Noon Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org
18 • The Pulse • october 2-8, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
Yo-Yo Ma at the Tivoli Theater
Arts Janis Hashe
“
Even after all these years, the story of George and Lennie is still one of the most moving ever penned.”
Following the fabulous “Please Be Seated” photo show, Northshore Gallery of Contemporary Art opens “Figuratively Speaking” on Friday, Oct. 3 with an opening reception at 5 p.m. Jim Tucker’s paintings and drawings will be paired with Maria Willison’s sculptures…Over at the Hunter Museum, another in the fine Art + Issues is on tap for Thursday, Oct. 2. In “Bridging Communities,” Gladys Pineda-Loher will discuss one of the Hunter collection’s bridge paintings in context of the many beautiful Chattanooga bridges. Starts at 6 p.m… What about that CSO??? Seems like they are everywhere right now…not only is the Lunchtime Concert Series on again at 11:30 a.m. Thursday at Warehouse Row, but who doesn’t know that one of the biggest names in classical music, Yo-Yo Ma, is guesting with them at the Tivoli that same night at
“Wayfarer” by James Tucker, part of the “Figuratively Speaking” exhibition at the Northshore Gallery of Contemporary Art
7:30 p.m. There are still premium tickets available and you’ll kick yourself if you miss this concert…Meanwhile, jazz buffs should beat a path to Parkridge Hospital on Saturday, Oct. 4 for the annual Glenwood Neighborhood Jazz Festival, beginning at noon… Do not get me started on theatre… oh, OK, then. You still have several chances to catch the Tony Award-winning “Clybourne Park” at the UTC Fine Arts Center this weekend. A riff on the stage classic “A Raisin in the Sun,” the first act is set in 1959—the second in 2009…Speaking of classic plays, the Chattanooga Theatre Centre opens John Steinbeck’s “Of Mice and Men” this Friday for a three-week run. Even after all these years, the story of George and Lennie is still one of the most moving ever penned… Having fun with the new Miss Marple series on PBS? Agatha Christie fans, right here in town is a production of the great mystery maven’s “Black Coffee,” playing for four more shows
this weekend at the Oak Street Playhouse…And last but seriously not least, if you like improv comedy (and who doesn’t), Chatt State’s Professional Actor Training Program presents its first Friday Night Improv of the season in the Humanities Theatre at 7:30 p.m… If you are not totally exhausted by Sunday, then the Chattanooga Market will absolutely be the place to be as CultureFest sambas back from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Our little city is getting more culturally enhanced by the minute and you never know what you’ll hear or see…or be inspired to get out on the dance floor by…at CultureFest… Now, note this nice segue...Make a date for next week’s offering at UTC’s Patten Performances. The wonderful Rioult Dance NY company is coming in for one show only on Tuesday, Oct. 17 at 7:30 p.m. This company creates original work to the music of Pascal Rioult and take our word for it, they’re gorgeous. See you out and about…
M-Th 5-9:30pm • Fri-Sat 5-10pm 1278 market st • 423.266.4400 stjohnsrestaurant.com
chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 19
ARTS CALENDAR thursday10.2
Now Open! Thurs. - Sun. in October EnchantedMaze. com
Opens Saturday, October 4
BlowingScreamsFarm.com
Over the Edge 9 a.m. Center Park 728 Market St. (423) 892-8323 chattote.org Homeschool Science Club 1 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 757-2143 cdmfun.org Paw Pals Storytime 1:30 p.m. McKamey Animal Center 4500 N. Access Rd. (423) 305-6500 mckameyanimalcenter.org Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Art + Issues: “Bridging Communities” 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Canoeing at Fireside 6 p.m. Greenway Farm 5051 Gann Store Rd., Hixson (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Taste of Northshore – Sample of Southside & Not-So-Silent Auction 6 p.m.
20 • The Pulse • october 2-8, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
Over The Edge Track 29 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co Fireside at Greenway Farm 7 p.m. Greenway Farm 5051 Gann Store Rd., Hixson (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com CSO Gala: Yo-Yo Ma 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583 chattanoogasymphony.org “Clybourne Park” 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. (423) 425-4269 utctheatreco.com “Black Coffee” 7:30 p.m.
Pulse Pick: Ricky Reyes Ricky uses the microphone, stage, and his voice like an F-14 fighter pilot; dropping his point of view like sidewinder and sparrow missiles. Ricky Reyes The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com
Oak Street Playhouse Vine & Lindsay Sts. (423) 756-2428 oakstreetplayhouse.com Camp Chair Cinema: “I Believe I Can Fly: Flight of the Frenchies” 7:30 p.m. Renaissance Park 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Ricky Reyes 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com
friday10.3 Pre-K Day at the Hunter: Dragons and Dinosaurs
10 a.m. Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “Figuratively Speaking…” Opening Reception 5 p.m. Northshore Gallery of Contemporary Art 505 Cherokee Blvd. thenorthshoregallery.com (423) 400-9797 “Connections” Opening Reception 6:30 p.m. River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Open Spaces Launch Party 7 p.m. Waterhouse Pavilion at Miller Plaza 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700 openspaceschattanooga.com Survive Alive Paintball Zombie Shoot 7 p.m. Insane Paintball 1200 Wisdom St. (423) 624-2121 survivealive.com “Clybourne Park” 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. (423) 425-4269 utctheatreco.com “Black Coffee” 7:30 p.m. Oak Street Playhouse Vine & Lindsay Sts.
ARTS CALENDAR
CultureFest at the Chattanooga Market (423) 756-2428 oakstreetplayhouse.com Ricky Reyes 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Of Mice and Men” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com
saturday10.4 Brainerd Farmers’ Market 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 698-0330 Northside Farmers’ Market on Mississippi 10 a.m. Northside Presbyterian 953 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com St. Alban’s Hixson Farmers’ Market 10 a.m. St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-1342 BarnFest 2014 10 a.m. The Barn Nursery 1801 E. 24th St. Place
(423) 698-2276 barnnursery.com Ronald McDonald House Autumn Children’s Festival 10 a.m. Tennessee Riverpark 4301 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 778-4338 rmhchattanooga.com “Black Coffee” 7:30 p.m. Oak Street Playhouse Vine & Lindsay Sts. (423) 756-2428 oakstreetplayhouse.com “Clybourne Park” 2 , 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. (423) 425-4269 utctheatreco.com Artist Nancy Jacobsohn Clay Demo 11 a.m. River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Survive Alive Paintball Zombie Shoot 7 p.m. Insane Paintball 1200 Wisdom St. (423) 624-2121 survivealive.com Ricky Reyes 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Of Mice and Men” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre
400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com
sunday10.5 Chattanooga Market: CultureFest 11 a.m. The Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Free First Sunday at the Hunter Noon Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Ronald McDonald House Autumn Children’s Festival 1 p.m. Tennessee Riverpark 4301 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 778-4338 rmhchattanooga.com “Black Coffee” 2:30 p.m. Oak Street Playhouse Vine & Lindsay Sts. (423) 756-2428 oakstreetplayhouse.com Ricky Reyes 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com
monday10.6 StartUp Week Keynote
Speaker, David Weinberger: “The Future is a Platform” Noon Downtown Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org
tuesday10.7 Art Class: Painting Techniques of the Old Masters 6 p.m. Townsend Atelier 201 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com
wednesday10.8 CEO Speaker Series 8:30 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center 1100 Carter St. (423) 756-8668 tsbdc.org/chscc Chattanooga Market 4 p.m. 1829 Carter St. (423) 402-9957 chattanoogamarket.com Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. 325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com
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“Nobody Doughs It Better!” 22 • The Pulse • october 2-8, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
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The Little Art Space That Could Townsend Atelier has grown to become a Southside mainstay If you walk into Townsend AteBusiness Development Center lier when a class is in session, you on Cherokee Boulevard. Whenwon’t be able to stop yourself from ever the Townsends wanted to lingering in the doorway for a few hold a class or workshop for moments to admire your surroundartists, they had to find a space ings. With its exposed brick walls and off-site in order to do it. wooden trusses, the space itself is But in 2010, taking a leap of impressive. faith, Townsend Atelier moved To the left are factory-style winto the corner of Main and Wildows draped with black cloth, and liams streets. This new location underfoot is a provides floor marked with a better the occasional layout not splatter of oil only for art paint. The room classes, RACHAEL POE is filled with eabut also sels and pedesfor the tals and palettes and canvasses. The production and distribution of Townsend Atelier is, in short, a place fine art materials. Since the where any artist can feel at home. atelier’s move to the SouthBut that hasn’t always been the side, their art classes have case. When husband and wife duo continued to grow in popularStan and Peggy Townsend founded ity and size, filling the studio Townsend Atelier in 2007, the comto bursting and causing Peggy pany’s focus was the production of to fondly nickname the studio molding and casting materials that “the little space that could.” they sold online. While they had a In addition to providing strong web presence, the Townsends classes and art materials, Stan longed to expand the business to and Peggy stay involved with provide workshops for artists. the community. Townsend Ate“We wanted to fill a void for highlier participates in MainX24 quality artist workshops,” said Peggy each year, though no theme Townsend. “We wanted to create a has been announced for this space where we could employ talyear’s involvement. ented local artists as teachers—but The atelier also hosts periodalso bring in renowned artists from ic “Art Throw Downs” in which across the country.” two talented (usually local) The biggest hindrance to fulfilling artists paint in front of a live this dream was a lack of space. For audience. These throw downs its first three years, Townsend Atelier are both entertaining and eduexisted in cramped quarters in the cational, providing the public a
Business Brief
Townsend Atelier 201 W. Main St., on the Southside (423) 266-2712, info@townsendatelier.com www.townsendatelier.com
“Since the atelier’s move to the Southside, their art classes have continued to grow in popularity and size.”
unique opportunity to see how different artists approach the same subject. Though Townsend Atelier began by distributing mold-making and casting materials, they expanded their offerings to correspond with their art classes. As Peggy put it, “Our products mirror the atelier’s mission.” They currently offer a carefully curated selection of products that includes their original mold-making and casting materials, as well as patinas, finishes, and Rosemary brushes. Townsend Atelier’s products can be used in any number of pursuits. For example, their Knead-a-Mold product can be used to replicate practically any three-dimensional surface—it comes in handy for anyone from sculptors and jewelers to taxidermists and puppet makers. As for art classes and workshops, Townsend Atelier has you covered. Peggy
Townsend outlined the atelier’s philosophy in a few sentences: “We don’t teach a style—we teach fundamental skills. We’re about tradition here, passing down classical techniques to our students.” The attendees at any given class can range from high school students to retirees to professional artists, and the atelier is looking to offer classes for even younger artists in the future. Every Thursday, Townsend Atelier hosts an open studio for life drawing with live models. Each session provides a combination of short and long poses, and participants may work at their own pace in any medium. This Saturday, Oct. 4, will be the first day of a two-day “Oil Painting Bootcamp” in-
structed by James Courtenay James from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m. each day. Later this month, students of art can look forward to two classes instructed by Caleb Goggans: “Landscape Painting, In Plein Air” on Oct. 25 and 26 from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. and “Painting the Luminous Object” on Wednesdays from 1 to 4 p.m. from Oct. 29 to Nov. 19. This winter, Mia Bergeron will offer classes for both beginning and intermediate painters, as well as a portraiture class about envisioning human facial structure as planes. In January, Brett Weaver will instruct a three-day workshop called “Painting the Abstract Landscape.” Pre-registration is required for all classes. To register for a class or to find more information, call (423) 266-2712 or visit townsendatelier.com.
chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 23
SCREEN SCENE
Coo Coo Ca Choo, Kevin Smith Sure, “Tusk” is completely ridiculous—but it’s Kevin Smith-style ridiculous Do not try this at home ...or anywhere else
Cool Camp Chair Cinema Come “Fly” under the stars with Outdoor Chattanooga Outdoor Chattanooga and the Lookout Wild Film Festival team up once again to present a night of cinema under the stars Thursday at the Circle Amphitheater (on river level west of the picnic area) at the Northshore’s Renaissance Park. “I Believe I Can Fly: Flight of the Frenchies” depicts the incredible journey of Tancrède and Julien as they pioneer a sport called “highlining,” a vertiginous combination of climbing, slackline, tightrope walking and base jumping. Using their skills and experience as climbers, the pair travel from the Ver-
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don gorge in southeastern France, to the skyscrapers of Paris and finally, to the cliffs and fjords of Norway. You can view the film trailer on Vimeo at vimeo.com/31240369 In case of rain, the screening will be held at Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. in Coolidge Park. Camp Chair Cinema: “I Believe I Can Fly: Flight of the Frenchies” Thursday, 7:30 p.m. Renaissance Park 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com
NEW IN THEATERS
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Gone Girl The Good Lie With his wife’s disappearance having Sudanese refugees given the chance become the focus of an intense meto resettle in America arrive in Kansas, dia circus, a man sees the spotlight where their encounter with an emturned on him when it’s suspected ployment agency counselor forever that he may not be innocent. changes all of their lives. Director: David Fincher Director: Philippe Falardeau Stars: Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, Stars: Reese Witherspoon, Arnold Neil Patrick Harris, Tyler Perry Oceng, Ger Duany, Emmanuel Jal 24 • The Pulse • october 2-8, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
K
evin Smith’s latest film “Tusk” asks a very simple question: “Is man, indeed, a walrus at heart?” The answer is unequivocally, “No.” However, this doesn’t stop the filmmakers from spending more than an hour and a half developing the theme. Despite being one of the most absurd horror movies ever made, “Tusk” is fairly well done. The central conceit of the film might wear thin by the end, but at no point did I feel that my time was wasted.
Screen JOHN DEVORE
“
I love that Smith is willing to take something so stupid so far. We need more of that.”
There are many who would argue any time spent on a movie about a man being surgically altered into a walrus is too much. There are many that would find “Tusk” disgusting, idiotic and perverse. Those people are probably right. I have no argument against any of those things. At the same time, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I sat alone in an empty theater chuckling the entire time. This wasn’t because “Tusk” is a good movie, although I’ve seen much worse. It’s because as asinine as the idea might have been, Kevin Smith and company made it anyway—and likely had a great time doing it. The film had its genesis during a podcast by Smith and his cohort Scott Moiser as they were discussing a fan idea.The fan suggested a movie about someone responding to a personal ad and being forced to wear a walrus suit in order to get paid. The pair took the idea several steps further, combining it with films like “The Human Centipede,” and asked fans to vote yes or no on whether or not to make the movie. Anyone who has been on the Internet for any length of time knows what the outcome would be. Justin Long plays Wallace (...sounds like walrus), a podcaster who seeks out the weird and offbeat people of the world and interviews them so he can later ridicule them on his show. In the film, Wallace is travelling to the Great White North to in-
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Justin Long as “Wallace”
terview a young man who accidentally cut off his own leg while playing with a samurai sword. He discovers, much to his dismay, that the overwhelming attention of Internet stardom has driven his interview subject to suicide. Frustrated by this setback, and showing little empathy for the departed, Wallace seeks a new subject. In a dive bar in Manitoba, he finds a letter from an old man wanting to share his stories of high adventure. Wallace seals his fate (pun intended) as he sets off to find him. The highlight of the film is not the walrus suit itself. The effects in this film are necessarily low budget, and, to be honest, the more ridiculous the human/walrus hybrid looks, the funnier it is. No, the performance of Michael Parks as the mad surgeon/ pinniped-obsessed Howard Howe is by far the most dynamic and exquisite part of the film. His speeches, where he spews selections from “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” and “The Walrus and the Carpenter” mixed with absolute insanity are as inspired as any performance I’ve seen this year. Parks is having something of a late career renaissance thanks to Kevin Smith and Quentin Tarantino, although he’s unlikely to win any awards if he continues to star in films like “Tusk.” Justin Long is less convincing as a
Wallace. He seems too good natured to be that mean, and during the later part of the film he’s reduced to making pained grunts and blubbers. Wallace’s eyes seem to be more accepting of his fate than one might imagine, but then it’s likely hard to emote when tusks fashioned from your amputated femurs have been implanted your face. Of the other characters, French Canadian Inspector Guy Lapointe (played by a surprise, unpublicized guest) is a high point of the film, serving as a nice distraction from the bizarre serial killer/walrus man relationship developing in other scenes. Jokes involving Canadian stereotypes are in abundance, to the point of overuse, but given how stretched the plot is in general, they were likely necessary. Several reviewers have criticized Kevin Smith fans as enabling the filmmaker’s dumb ideas. They claim that there isn’t enough of an idea in “Tusk” for a full-length movie. I can certainly understand that perspective. At the same time, however, I love that Smith is willing to take something so stupid so far. We need more of that. Studios should be taking more chances so that we don’t repeat the past summer of boring and uninspired sequels. If someone was willing to make “Tusk,” I can only imagine what might follow.
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chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 25
Mixology
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423.634.9172 • KITCHENATUNIONSQUARE.COM TALLAN BUILDING • 2 UNION SQUARE 200 W. MLK BLVD • CHATTANOOGA, TN 37402 DINNER M-SAT • LUNCH M-F • SUNDAY BRUNCH Kitchen at Union Square supports Culinard, the Culinary Institute of Virginia College, where our staff of professional chefs provides a learning lab and teaching establishment for culinary and pastry arts students from Culinard.
26 • The Pulse • october 2-8, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
Though the wine list at Kitchen at Union Square may seem intimidating at first glance, the staff is knowledgeable, approachable, and ready to answer any questions you have. General Manger Eve Markowicz is passionate about wine education, and as a result decided to host wine nights. The restaurant has already held two wine nights—and both were so successful that beginning Oct. 6, every Monday will be a wine night at Kitchen at Union Square. For only $30, wine night diners can enjoy an exceptional threecourse meal, each course paired with a wine selected to complement the food. These wine nights give guests the opportunity to try glasses of high-quality wines that are usually only offered by the bottle. Popular wines offered by the glass at the restaurant include the Hopler Grüner Veltliner (an Austrian white), Willamette Valley Vineyards Whole Cluster Pinot Noir (an Oregon red), and Monte Antico Super Tuscan (an Italian blended red). If you are feeling celebratory, splurge on Ramian Chardonnay from California’s Napa Valley or a French Veuve Clicquot Brut Champagne. Other wine offerings come from Argentina, Spain, and South Africa. Of course, Kitchen at Union Square offers much more than wine. The res-
taurant is already known for its Farmto-Table philosophy, emphasizing fresh, regional, seasonal and sustainable ingredients; this dedication to local ingredients is mirrored by their Garden-to-Glass specialty cocktails, introduced this fall. While making these cocktails, the staff at Kitchen use freshpicked herbs grown in the garden that flanks the restaurant’s main entrance. The herbs grown onsite include pineapple sage, basil and stevia. Kitchen at Union Square also boasts an impressive array of Sangrias, both red and white. Their most popular Sangria, the Queen Bee, features Bordeaux, New Amsterdam Peach Vodka, Peach Schnapps, Rocky Hill Honey and fresh mint. The mint, of course, comes straight from the garden. Another favorite drink is the Champagne Cocktail, made from Zonin Prosecco, St. Elder and a twist. Or you could give the Kooper Union a try— with a scotch rinse, Chattanooga Whiskey and St. Elder, it’s sure to leave you thirsty for more. From its delicious signature cocktails to its comprehensive wine list, Kitchen at Union Square is sure to impress. If you miss the first wine night this Monday, Oct. 6, be sure to drop by soon to gain a new appreciation for the art of pairing food and drink.
Diversions
Consider This with Dr. Rick by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. Asking “Why is this happening?” can only disempower you. Asking “What do I want to make of this?” does exactly the opposite. — Neale Donald Walsch “Why” is the easy question to ask, and the one we often default to. Why did this happen? Why is it happening to me? Why does my Creator allow this to happen? All the “whys” imply helplessness, confusion, perhaps frustration and anger. And you’re left just as you began—miserable, feeling victimized, and answerless. “What do I do with this?” accomplishes exactly the opposite. It implies that we do have power. It means that you plan to participate in the solution, that you desire to hop back into the driver’s seat and do what you can to make the best of the situation. It may require action; or it may require pondering and meditating and sitting with the question for a while. But it does mean that you’ve chosen to be engaged and involved, not a victim, and that’s half the battle right there. chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 27
Free Will Astrology LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): When Jimmy Fallon was a senior in high school, he received a weird graduation gift: a troll doll, one of those plastic figurines with frizzy, brightly colored hair. Around the same time, his mother urged him to enter an upcoming comedy contest at a nearby club. Jimmy decided that would be fun. He worked up a routine in which he imitated various celebrities auditioning to become a spokesperson for troll dolls. With the doll by his side, he won the contest, launching his career as a comedian. I foresee the possibility of a comparable development in your life: an odd blessing or unexpected gift that inspires you to express one of your talents on a higher level. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Dear So-Called Astrologer: Your horoscopes are worse than useless. Mostly they are crammed with philosophical and poetic crap that doesn’t apply to my daily life. Please cut way back on the fancy metaphors. Just let me know if there is money or love or trouble coming my way—like what regular horoscopes say! -Skeptical Scorpio.” Dear Skeptical: In my astrological opinion, you and your fellow Scorpios will soon feel the kind of pressure you just directed at me. People will ask you to be different from what you actually are. My advice? Do not acquiesce to them. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Tomatoes are a staple of Italian cuisine now, but there weren’t any tomatoes in Europe until the 16th century, when Spanish explorers brought them from Central and South America. Likewise, Malaysia has become a major producer of rubber, but it had no rubber trees until seeds were smuggled out of Brazil in the 19th century. And bananas are currently a major crop in Ecuador thanks to 16th-century Portuguese sailors, who transported them from West Africa. I foresee the possibility of comparable crossfertilizations happening for you in the coming months, Sagittarius. Do you have your eye on any remote resources you’d like to bring back home? CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Years ago, you experienced an event that was so overwhelming you could not fully deal with it, let alone understand it. All this time it has been simmering and smoldering in the depths of your unconscious mind, emitting ghostly steam and smoke even as it has remained difficult for you to integrate. But I predict that will change in the coming months. You will finally find a way to bring it into your conscious awareness and explore it with courage and grace. Of course it will be scary for you to do so. But I assure you that the fear is a residue from your old confusion, not a sign of real danger. To achieve maxi-
28 • The Pulse • october 2-8, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com
rob brezsny
mum liberation, begin your quest soon. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): This is prime time to do things that aren’t exactly easy and relaxing, but that on the other hand aren’t actually painful. Examples: Extend peace offerings to adversaries. Seek reconciliation with valuable resources from which you have been separated and potential allies from whom you have become alienated. Try out new games you would eventually like to be good at, but aren’t yet. Get a better read on interesting people you don’t understand very well. Catch my drift, Aquarius? For now, at least, leaving your comfort zone is likely to be invigorating, not arduous. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Your oracle is built around the epigrams of conceptual artist Jenny Holzer. From her hundreds of pithy quotes, I have selected six that offer the exact wisdom you need most right now. Your job is to weave them all together into a symphonic whole. 1. “It’s crucial to have an active fantasy life.” 2. “Ensure that your life stays in flux.” 3. “I have every kind of thought, and that is no embarrassment.” 4. “Animalism is perfectly healthy.” 5. “Finding extreme pleasure will make you a better person if you’re careful about what thrills you.” 6. “Listen when your body talks.” ARIES (March 21-April 19): As I hike through the wilderness at dusk, the crickets always seem to be humming in the distance. No matter where I go, their sound is farther off, never right up close to me. How can that be? Do they move away from me as I approach? I doubt it. I sense no leaping insects in the underbrush. Here’s how this pertains to you: My relationship with the crickets’ song is similar to a certain mystery in your life. There’s an experience that calls to you but forever seems just out of reach. You think you’re drawing nearer, about to touch it and be in its midst, but it inevitably eludes you. Now here’s the good news: A change is coming for you. It will be like what would happen if I suddenly found myself intimately surrounded by hundreds of chirping crickets. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In three years, you will comprehend truths about yourself and your life that you don’t have the capacity to grasp now. By then, past events that have been confusing to you will make sense. You’ll know what their purpose was and why they occurred. Can you wait that long? If you’d rather not, I have an idea: Do a meditation in which you visualize yourself as you will be three years from today. Imagine asking your future self to tell you what he or she has discovered. The revelations may take a while to start rolling in,
but I predict that a whole series of insights will have arrived by this time next week. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The journey that awaits you is succinct but epic. It will last a relatively short time but take months to fully understand. You may feel natural and ordinary as you go through it, even as you are being rather heroic. Prepare as best as you can, but keep in mind that no amount of preparation will get you completely ready for the spontaneous moves you’ll be called on to perform. Don’t be nervous! I bet you will receive help from an unexpected source. Feelings of deja-vu may crop up and provide a sense of familiarity— even though none of what occurs will have any precedents. CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the wild, very few oysters produce pearls—about one in every 10,000. Most commercial pearls come from farmed oysters whose pearls have been induced by human intervention. As you might expect, the natural jewel is regarded as far more precious. Let’s use these facts as metaphors while we speculate about your fate in the next eight months. I believe you will acquire or generate a beautiful new source of value for yourself. There’s a small chance you will stumble upon a treasure equivalent to the wild pearl. But I suggest you take the more secure route: working hard to create a treasure that’s like a cultivated pearl. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In June 2012, a U.S. Senator introduced a bill that would require all members of Congress to actually read or listen to a reading of any bill before they voted on it. The proposal has been in limbo ever since, and it’s unlikely it will ever be treated seriously. This is confusing to me. Shouldn’t it be a fundamental requirement that all lawmakers know what’s in the laws they pass? Don’t make a similar error, Leo. Understand exactly what you are getting into, whether it’s a new agreement, an interesting invitation, or a tempting opportunity. Be thoroughly informed. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Oliver Evans (1755-1819) was a prolific Virgo inventor who came up with brilliant ideas for steam engines, urban gas lighting, refrigeration, and automated machines. He made a radical prediction: “The time will come when people will travel in stages moved by steam engines, almost as fast as birds fly, 15 or 20 miles an hour.” We may be surprised that a visionary innovator like Evans dramatically minimized the future’s possibilities. In the same way, I suspect that later in your life, you might laugh at how much you are underestimating your potentials right now. In telling you this, I’m hoping you will stop underestimating.
Jonesin’ Crossword
ACROSS 1 “Let’s go,” to Dora 6 It can make a date 10 Show segments 14 Rewrite 15 Carmen or Cartman 16 “We’ve got trouble!” 17 Terrible dictionary definition of fortified wine? 19 iPod model 20 Tater Tots maker 21 Time out for Timothy Leary 23 Take back 25 Empty _____ syndrome 26 Instrument for Hawaiians and hipsters 29 Paper format? 32 Shaggy’s voice 36 Without company 37 Kenny Loggins’s “Danger ___” 38 “Ewwww!” 39 Hero’s pursuit 40 Ninth Greek letter 41 Plumlike fruit
42 One of Holder’s predecessors 43 Called off 44 California’s Big ___ 45 Major inconveniences 47 Pad prik khing’s cuisine 49 Queen of hip hop 54 Spiny anteaters 58 Put under 59 Speaker of Cooperstown 60 Be a hasty actor? 62 Nutmegflavored drinks 63 Killing time 64 Center of activity 65 Needing a massage 66 Mad Libs category 67 Sporty Jaguar DOWN 1 Contrail’s makeup 2 “I ___ Mi Amor” (Color Me Badd #1 hit) 3 Paddock parents 4 Adrian Tomine
matt jones
comic “___ Nerve” 5 Bowl location 6 MPG component 7 Vegas Strip casino 8 Clarence’s role on “The Mod Squad” 9 North America’s highest mountain 10 Family tree branches 11 #1 hits like “All About That Balsa” and “Shake It Oak”? 12 “The Bluest Eye” author Morrison 13 Pick up a few things 18 Cold and clammy 22 Dennis’s sister, in “Always Sunny” 24 Washingtonarea airport 27 Supposedly crazy birds 28 Join the club 30 Start the pot 31 In need of jumper cables 32 X, in a love letter 33 “Because freedom
can’t protect itself” org. 34 Fashionable school for hybrid outerwear? 35 Potato feature 37 Popular wine, for short 39 Farmer’s storage 43 Co-star of Bea, Betty, and Rue 45 Suckered 46 Right there on the map 48 ___ fit (tantrum) 50 Word said with a head slap 51 Iggy Azalea hit 52 Accepted without question 53 “Siddhartha” novelist Hermann 54 Active volcano in Sicily 55 Comfy shoe 56 Brad’s role in “Inglourious Basterds” 57 Colleague of Scotty and Spock 61 Stimpy’s counterpart
Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0695 chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 29
Throwing Us Under The Bus. Again. Officer Alex is seriously annoyed by recent events.
“
You’ve alienated yourselves from local law enforcement, you’ve encouraged and enflamed any perception of mistrust.” When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alexteach
Sorry, kids, but no stories this week. The truth? I prefer them myself, but on occasion I can’t think of awkward anecdotes because I’m too annoyed to focus on telling stories that make me look like a functional alcoholic dealing with a gunwielding honey badger on LSD on a small chunk ALEX of ice in the northern Atlantic. Sometimes I just get annoyed, and I am compelled to address it. Or “them” in this case. First comes the president’s recent assault on “all things law enforcement” at a speech at the Congressional Black Caucus Foundation’s annual awards dinner last Saturday, in which he said the widespread mistrust of law enforcement “that was exposed after the fatal police shooting of an unarmed black man in Ferguson, Missouri, is corroding Ameri-
ca, not just its black communities, and that the wariness flows from significant racial disparities in the administration of justice.” Well, Mr. President, let me just sling out a great big ol’ “Thank You” for casting every cop and L.E. agency in the country right in the ol’ poopTEACH er with that one. If there’s one thing Law Enforcement needs in this nation, it’s the President of the United States validating the paranoia and hype of every race baiter and “V for Vendetta” mask-wearing Occupy type in the country. Encouragement? Support? “Hope?” (Oh, the irony)? Nah. You just put that in the pocket of your church suit. Why help when you can just irritate the shit out of a situation, despite it being against every one of your best in-
On The Beat
terests as the leader of a nation? When in doubt, pander, my good man. How am I not a political consultant, I swear? Second though, is the Chattanooga Times Free Press. An editor recently felt the need to flame the month-old flames of Ferguson and briefly compare it to local cases. I’m guessing the revenue from the Star ads that line the ditches of my street in their yellow plastic bags isn’t cutting it, so Pam Sohn opted to throw a little water on our bacon grease. (That is if it was Pam…conveniently, there was no name attached to the editorial where I read it on their website.) Awesome. That’s great, you should do that every time. But six paragraphs detailing the accounting of a retired chief in a case you clearly had no working knowledge of? Color me incredulous. Your own newspaper identified the boy’s Americans with Disabilities Act issues that you conveniently avoided here. I’ll leave that alone as well, and just focus on two key points that clearly found their mark under my skin. One is that you close the story
by judging why he left the kid on the porch (throwing flower pots the size of his head at him). Staying where the fight was is your solution? Keeping it going was your solution? Based on, what…your own experience in dealing with combative mental health consumers? I’m not saying what the guy did was right, wrong, or otherwise, but that’s the difference between us: I’m not judging him because I don’t have any idea of the dynamic there. And second, your topic is about their training. Do you know what “retired” means? It means he hadn’t been there for nearly three decades, so the training you are complaining about (despite having no first-hand knowledge of) in his case is from nearly 30 years ago! You’ve started a dialogue, all right. You’ve alienated yourselves from local law enforcement, you’ve encouraged and enflamed any perception of mistrust, and you’ve exposed your galactic lack of wisdom regarding both. Strange that this doesn’t surprise me.
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Not recommended for young children, parental discretion is advised. chattanoogapulse.com • october 2-8, 2014 • The Pulse • 31