The Pulse 11.42 » October 16, 2014

The Pulse

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

OCTOBER 16, 2014

Getting Stars In Your Eyes

Fall’s skies are perfect for starting a sky-watching habit

By Steven W. Disbrow

ARTS

MUSIC

SCREEN

walking a mile

thinking music

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shoe tales pomp rock the judge

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Contents

The Pulse CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole Contributing Editor Janis Hashe

October 16, 2014 Volume 11, Issue 42

Contributors Rob Brezsny • Madeline Chambliss Steven Disbrow • John DeVore Hayley Graham • Matt Jones • Josh Lang Marc T. Michael • Mike McJunkin Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib • Alex Teach Editorial Interns Maggie Hanna • Zach Nicholson Rachael Poe Cartoonists & Illustrators Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

Features

Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin

4 BEGINNINGS: Is the end of the plastic shopping bag coming soon?

Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Craig Glass • Rick Leavell • Lisa McVay Chester Sharp • Stacey Tyler

14 REVIEWS: Jessica Pavone morphs, Bob Drake surprises.

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

Mike Hicks

6

How To Get Stars In Your Eyes

15 HALLOWEEN GUIDE

Located in Brainerd, just a few miles from the UTC campus, Jones Observatory has been open since 1948 and provides a wide range of programs, all free to the public, compliments of UTC.

18 SUSHI & BISCUITS: Chef McJunkin shows how to make cheesy goodness at home.

This Time Round’s The Wicked One

24 SCREEN:Powerful star turns can’t quite acquit “The Judge”.

10

The boys are reminiscent (to my ears anyway) of an early, pre-pop Police with wickedly shifting time signatures and key changes the likes of which could inspire Dr. Thaddeus Venture to science such has never scienced before.

20

Stories That Inspire And Enlighten Storytellers will be reading the stories of others in the community in order to share in the various trials and experiences that can be universally understood.

26 MIXOLOGY: In search of the best pumpkin spice cocktail recipe.

28 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY 29 JONESIN’ CROSSWORD 30 ON THE BEAT: Officer Alex’s cop car is a rollling...well, everything.

The Best Selection In Town!

Call Mike Hicks, The Credit Doctor

423-875-2023

5348 Highway 153 at Hixson Pike • Chattanooga • www.MarshallMizeFord.com

chattanoogapulse.com • october 16-22, 2014 • The Pulse • 3

news • views • rants • raves

BEGINNINGS

updates » CHATTANOOGApulse.com facebook/chattanoogapulse EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Paper vs. Plastic: Is This The End? Consumers still vastly prefer plastic bags, but the end may be coming

“

Some stores have even taken the extra step of offering discounts to shoppers who bring their own bags.”

In my youth, those long-ago days of the 1970s, the only plastic you ever used at the grocery store was a MasterCharge or BankAmerica Card. Groceries were bagged in brown paper bags of varying sizes and thickness (and always doublebagged for the heavy frozen foods).

Today, in an era when it’s rare to see anyone use cash at the grocery store, it’s even rarer to see paper bags of any sort. An entire generation has come of age that has never heard the “paper or plastic” question outside of old movies and TV shows. We live in a “plastic today, plastic tomorrow, plastic forever” society where seemingly everything is

wrapped, tagged and displayed in the allpurpose material.

Except that “plastic forever” may not be as forever as many once thought. Last month, California Gov. Jerry Brown signed into law the nation’s first statewide ban on single-use plastic bags at grocery and convenience stores.

What prompted the ban in GARY POOLE the most progressive of the 50 states (for good or ill, California is often seen as the test kitchen for the rest of the country when it comes to legislation) has been anger by state residents over the pollution of streets, waterways and oceans with the ubiquitous plastic shopping bags.

Naturally, a national coalition of plastic bag manufacturers, which obviously sees a major threat to its bottom line, if not its very existence, has launched a movement to seek a voter referendum to repeal the law before it’s scheduled to take effect in July 2015.

And that vote may not be symbolic, either.

The latest research from YouGov shows that Americans narrowly disapprove of the new Californian plastic bag law, with 45 percent against it and only 39 percent in favor of the ban. In fact, YouGov research shows that more than 60 percent favor plastic over paper, with only 30 percent choosing paper

Views

4 • The Pulse • october 16-22, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

when given a choice.

But is plastic still the future of personal grocery transportation? Many retailers, from bigbox stores to boutique food markets, have done away with bags entirely. They rely on customers bringing their own bags or using empty boxes provided at the check-out lanes.

The bags being used (and sold by the stores themselves) are almost all reusable, made of heavy cloth, canvas or other materials, many of them designed to act as a type of cooler for refrigerated and frozen foods. Some stores have even taken the extra step of offering discounts to shoppers who bring their own bags.

The benefit is obvious: For every reusable bag, one less plastic bag lands in a landfill (or field, or creek). Multiply that by your weekly trip, and the end of plastic may well be nigh, no matter how hard the plastic bag manufacturers fight to overturn the California ban.

“Paper or plastic?” How about neither? It works for me, and it definitely could for you.

REJOICE!

EdiToon

by Rick Baldwin

IT’S MONDAY (AND TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY!)

MONDAYS: $2 PINTS

“All Dolled Up” Offers A Special Night Out Whether it’s getting dolled up for a special occasion or treating yourself to a little pick-meup, every now and then we all need a day of relaxation and pampering to take the stress away.

While there are spas and home remedies available, it’s nice to hear about organizations working to voluntarily offer services that may not be an option for everyone.

Working to “provide leisure and rec-

reation opportunities for citizens of all abilities,” the Therapeutic Recreation Division of the Chattanooga Youth and Family Development Department is partnering with Orange Grove to organize this year’s “All Dolled Up.” Scheduled for Friday, Oct. 17, this year’s event will be held in the cafeteria at the Orange Grove Center. The evening, of music, refreshments, pampering and makeovers

IN THIS ISSUE

Steven W. Disbrow Our cover story this week is written

by Steven Disbrow, a computer programmer by profession who specializes in e-commerce and mobile systems development. But wait, there’s more.

Much more. He’s also an entrepreneur, comic-book nerd, writer, improviser, actor,

for women with physical, cognitive, social, and/or emotional disabilities gives those in attendance the chance to get makeovers, their hair styled and their nails painted.

It’s also free of charge.

According to organizers, “All Dolled Up” was created to “encourage socialization, foster independence, enhance self-esteem, and provide all participants with a good time.”

Those interested in attending should call (423) 643-5716 or email steele_je@ chattanooga.gov to make a reservation.

— Madeline Chambliss

John DeVore sometime television personality and parent of two human children. He’s anxiously awaiting the results of the experiment that will prove whether or not the universe is a massive simulation. If it is, he’d like to have a chat with the idiot that coded the bits where we kill each other for no damn good reason. His column on all things science, “Just A Theory”, runs monthly here in The Pulse. Watch out, Neil deGrasse Tyson!

Our own resident film critic John DeVore has spent a significant portion of his life in dark theaters. From an early age, he was drawn to strong storytelling brought to life through the magic of the silver screen. With degrees in both literature and education,

John has keen insight into critical theory and a genuine desire to educate audiences on the finer points of film appreciation. His favorite films transcend genre— quality storytelling and respect for the intelligence of the audience will win him over every time. When not watching and writing about film, John spends his time writing his own stories and exposing his children to the wonders of movie magic.

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WEDNESDAYS: ½-PRICE WINE

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chattanoogapulse.com • october 16-22, 2014 • The Pulse • 5

COVER STORY

How To Get Stars In Your Eyes Fall’s skies are perfect for starting a sky-watching habit

By Steven W. Disbrow

“

The minimum requirement for getting started in astronomy is a sense of wonder and curiosity about the sky above your head.”

W

hen I was a wee lad, I was fascinated by astronomy. It might have had something to do with the fact that during my pre-teen years, America was becoming the world’s preeminent space-faring nation. The Apollo program was in full swing, there was talk of a “space shuttle” and landers, and orbiters and probes of all sorts were either on the drawing board or already on their way to various points of interest around the solar system.

At some point, my parents bought me a lowend telescope at the old K-Mart in Hixson. I vividly remember seeing it on display there and begging to get it for Christmas. It was your basic long white tube, with a side “finder” scope and two interchangeable filters: A green one for looking at the moon and a pitch-black one for looking at the sun. I spent many a night looking at

6 • The Pulse • october 16-22, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

the moon and trying find other targets, usually with little success. I was simply unaware of how to find objects in the sky or where to even begin.

I seem to remember my school library being unhelpful on the subject, and none of my friends really shared my astronomy kick. So, I slowly lost interest and then lost the scope itself during one of my many moves after leaving home.

Recently, however, I’ve inherited a new scope from my father and a rekindled interest in actually looking at the sky from my kids. But my problem still is, “Where do I start?”

Fortunately, the 21st century has a lot more resources available than just the school library. The internet, of course, is a good place for raw information. But for actually learning something, you want to connect with people. Here in Chattanooga, we have quite a few people and organizations that are willing to help new skywatchers get going.

The most obvious place to start, of course, is UTC’s Jones Observatory.

Located in Brainerd, just a few miles from the UTC campus, Jones Observatory has been open since 1948 and provides a wide range of programs, all free to the public, compliments of UTC. (The full fall schedule of events is available on the Jones Observatory website.)

If you went to school in the Chattanooga area, chances are that, at some point, you went on a field trip to Jones Observatory. Jack Pitkin, operations manager at the observatory, notes that the longevity of the facility is one of the things that makes it so unique.

“Once I had a guy who had worked there as a student volunteer. He brought his daughter and she brought her daughter.

We had three generations looking at Jupiter through the telescope.”

While Jones Observatory is the nexus of astronomy here in Chattanooga, you’ll prob-

ably want to connect with at least one other group as you get going with your sky watching. After all, the observatory is only open so often.

One such group would be the “Impromptu Astronomy Club” (IAC).

This is a Facebook group that was founded, by accident, during the “Transit of Venus” back in 2012. Galen Riley, the group’s organizer, and a few friends were using glasses (with “solar safe” filters) to watch Venus pass between Earth and the sun. But they were doing it from the Walnut Street Bridge. As you might guess, this caused some curiosity from the passers-by. So, Galen and his friends offered looks through the glasses to anyone that wanted to see the oncein-a-lifetime event. As for the name itself, Galen recalls that, “Someone walking past on the return trip asked the name of our organization.

When we said we didn’t have one, he joked about stumbling on the ‘Impromptu Astronomy Club,’ and the rest is history.”

As you might guess from the name, the IAC caters to the extremely casual sky watcher. The Facebook group sees a few posts a week about interesting things in the sky at the time.

There’s also space-related news, with a focus on info that’s easily understandable. It’s a great place to find out about planets or interesting stars that are readily visible in the sky that same day. More noteworthy events (eclipses, meteor showers and the like) will usually be discussed for days or weeks in advance, giving you plenty of time to get ready to view them.

Just like any other Facebook group, it’s easy to join the IAC. Just search for “Impromptu Astronomy Club” on Facebook and hit the “Like” but-

ton.

Another, more traditional, group that operates here in Chattanooga is the Barnard Astronomical Society (BAS). Founded in 1923, the BAS actually predates the Big Bang! Well, the Big Bang theory at least. (What became the Big Bang Theory was proposed by Belgian Catholic priest and scientist Georges Lemaître in 1927.)

According to Richard Clements, current BAS President, the BAS was actually instrumental in the development, design, and implementation of the Clarence T. Jones Observatory in Chattanooga in the 1930s. That’s where they still meet, on the second Thursday of each month, starting at 7 p.m. (There’s a $20 annual membership fee, but apart from any fees charged by a venue, the BAS has no other fees.)

The BAS prides itself on being a family-friendly, low-to-no cost group that promotes science and education here in the Chattanooga area. As such, the topics of the monthly meetings are wide-ranging, and cover pretty much everything, including: getting started in astronomy, maintaining equipment, current astrophysics and space and science in the movies.

In addition to the regular monthly meeting at Jones Observatory, the BAS also hosts a monthly “star party” at Harrison Bay State Park on the second Saturday of each month. They also have the occasional star party at Greenway Farms in Hixson.

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8 • The Pulse • october 16-22, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

“Mid-December will see the return of the annual Geminid meteor shower. All you need for that is a blanket and some clear sky.”

Links for Organizations Mentioned

different events going on, you should really just visit their website to find an event that’s close to you.

Now that you’ve got an idea of where you can find other sky watchers, what do you actually need to get going?

Galen from IAS says that all you need is, “A little bit of curiosity and cooperative weather.” True enough.

The first astronomers were simply people that looked up and wondered “What are those things?”

According to Richard of the BAS, “This is the issue that far too often stops many people in their tracks on the pathway to becoming an amateur astronomer. Everybody thinks you need all kinds of fancy gear, a big telescope, etc. This is absolutely not true. The minimum requirement for getting started in astronomy is a sense of wonder and curiosity about the sky above your head. Just your eyes and a star map (many available for free online) can provide years of pleasure by learning star names, constellations, and the lore that goes with them. A simple pair of binoculars—nothing fancy, probably something that many people already have—can open up the sky like nothing else. A telescope is not needed to start; it is really more of a stop along the journey.”

And this is, by far, the best time of year to get started with sky watching.

The fall temps are pleasant through most of the night and the sky is typically very clear this time of year.

What sorts of celestial events can you look forward to seeing? Well, on October 23, there will be a partial eclipse of the sun at sunset. This will be hard to see (due to the mountains), but the BAS and UTC will be at the Chickamauga Battlefield, trying to get a glimpse. (Note that you should never attempt to observe a solar eclipse without proper equipment! Which is a great reason to attend this hosted event. They’ll have the right stuff.)

Mid-December will see the return of the annual Geminid meteor shower. All you need for that is a blanket and some clear sky.

And, on August 21, 2017, there will be a full solar eclipse visible from this area! (OK. Technically, you’ll have to drive to Dayton for “totality.” But, still, these things are usually only visible from halfway around the world.)

Of course, the biggest, most important, astronomical event of the year is happening tomorrow night. Best of all, it’s probably visible from your back yard! So, make a picnic, grab a blanket, gather up the kids and head outside to see if you can spot it!

UTC Jones Observatory utc.edu/physics-geology-astronomy/observatory Impromptu Astronomy Club facebook.com/groups/ImpromptuAstronomyClub Barnard Astronomical Society barnardastronomy.org www.facebook.com/groups/BarnardAS chattanoogapulse.com • october 16-22, 2014 • The Pulse • 9

MUSIC SCENE

This Time Round’s The Wicked One

Psychopomp will shortly be music in your ears

Electronica Extravaganza Big Gigantic and friends shake down at Track 29 Electronic duo Big Gigantic is coming to Track 29 this weekend, and I invite you to come shake and dance the night away. Big Gigantic puts on excellent, energetic live performances; these guys aren’t just two DJs who sit behind the turntables and let you do all the work.

Big Gigantic is Dominic Lalli and Jeremy Salken. When you see them live, Lalli serenades you with saxophone goodness and Salken drills the drums into your feet. Pair this live instrumentation with the fantastically produced backbeats, and you’ve got a reason to dance for hours. The tunes are all electronica, with apparent influences from hip hop and jazz.

The signature Big G sound comes from the combination of dance-ori-

ented EDM beats and Lalli’s smooth saxophone.

Enjoy dancing? Come out to this show. The warehouse atmosphere of Track 29 is perfect for all the room you need to swing around and enjoy yourself. And Big Gigantic will be supported by Manic Focus and Modern Measure, both of which are as groovy as the Big G. I’ll be dancing all night.

— Zach Nicholson Big Gigantic, Manic Focus, Modern Measure Saturday, Oct. 18, 9 p.m. $25 Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co

thu10.16

fri10.17

sat10.18

thing of beauty

more noir rock

a dandy duo

Mandolin Orange

Dead Testaments,

The Rough & Tumble

Ear candy for the macabre.

“Noir rock” in crisp black and white, with smoldering cigarettes and a half-empty bottles of scotch.

10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

“Two scarecrows in a cornfield, two pairs of hands stealing the same piece of candy, a dust devil that traveled seven states to get to you.“ 7 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com

Using acoustic and electric guitars, mandolin and a hand-me-down fiddle, Andrew Marlin and Emily Frantz allure with a heart-worn sensibility.

9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

10 • The Pulse • october 16-22, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

K

ids, I am excited. This week’s piece is something of a homecoming for me. Fifteen years ago, I covered the music beat for a local weekly alternative paper (seems familiar somehow…). I had a thousand-word regular column dedicated to local performers, and one of the first bands I ever wrote about was an unbelievably talented progressive rock group called Somnambulist.

Music marc t. michael

“

‘Euclid’s Nightmare’ is a terrific name for a tune that is absolutely Lovecraftian in its geometry.”

That they were so very skilled isn’t really the unbelievable part so much as the fact that they were a Chattanooga band that almost no one in Chattanooga had heard of.

Oh, sure, they did tours up the East Coast and had a pretty hefty fan club in Europe, but hometown heroes? The typical response when asking the typical club-goer back then was, “Somnambu-huh?”

It was the first inclination I had that Chattanooga had, or could have a real music scene if only more people were made aware of the kind of talent that was already here, so I made it my business to help make that happen in whatever way I could. This is why I wrote then, this is why I write now, and in the time between then and now the music scene here has exploded.

But for me it all started with Somnambulist—and a fellow named Terry Clouse.

Terry is one of the best bass players in this (or any) region. You might disagree but you would be incorrect. He’s one of the best, and it is a given that any project he’s a part of is going to corral some equally talented individuals, so when he told me he has a new project called Psychopomp I dropped everything else and said, “Tell me more!”

The quick rundown: Psychopomp is a three-piece consisting of Clouse on

bass, guitar and vocals, Jody Park on keys, guitar and vocals and Matt Turnure on drums, keys and vocals.

The boys are reminiscent (to my ears anyway) of an early, prepop Police with wickedly shifting time signatures and key changes the likes of which could inspire Dr. Thaddeus Venture to science such has never scienced before.

In a word, their music is complicated, but not needlessly complicated and that’s a huge distinction. I have known more than one exemplary musician whose raison d’etre was to show everyone how technically advanced they were.

That sort of thing is very impressive for a minute, maybe a minute and a half. After that, it’s just musical wanking.

Not so these fellows.

Their music is complicated, it is complex—but always with a purpose. It is precisely as complicated as it needs to be. Anything less would fail the band.

The fellows gave me a preview of what’s coming up: A handful of tracks they described as being extremely rough, but if this is what passes for extremely rough, then the finished product should be diamonds.

“Euclid’s Nightmare” is a terrific name for a tune that is absolutely Lovecraftian in its geometry. “Lava Lamp Pagoda” has a somewhat brighter feel, due largely to liberal use of the organ. “Don Juanna Be Left Behind” would make Wynton Marsalis envious. Somehow in this

honest music

“Dammit, Janet” with The Scarlett Love Conspiracy

Photo by Phil Thach

tune the fellows have managed to capture a distinctive Caribbean vibe in a jazz overcoat.

It’s smart music, music for the thinking man. It is music for musicians. This is not to imply that it’s less accessible to the non-musically inclined. You don’t have to play to love it— but if you do play, I think you will find that it tickles your brain in a way most music does not.

One thing is for certain: This is about as far from pop music

as it gets, and what a refreshing and welcome change that is.

The boys have a plan to record an EP and get some live gigs under their belt before settling down to the serious task of releasing a full-fledged album.

Keep your eyes on this column for details when that comes to be, and in the meantime look up Mr. Clouse and friends on social media for the latest updates on what promises to be another brilliant project.

It’s not Thanksgiving without a turkey, it isn’t Christmas without a tree, and it isn’t Halloween without the “Great Pumpkin” and the “Rocky Horror Picture Show”.

Since the “Great Pumpkin” isn’t a musical (although it does have some spiffy dance numbers), it doesn’t lend itself to musical performance.

“Rocky Horror”, on the other hand, fits the bill nicely, which is why the unconventional conventionists in The Scarlett Love Conspiracy have elected to perform the soundtrack in its entirety on stage at Rhythm & Brews while the film plays on the screen behind them.

It’s the ultimate tribute to the ultimate audience participation film and the Kilgores and Almlies are just the Transylvanians to pull it off (what’s for dinner, Travis?). The show is happening Oct. 30 at 9 p.m., but early arrivals (between 8 and 8:30 p.m.) can have their pictures taken with the band in front of a special backdrop just for the occasion.

Dust off your fishnets, load up the water guns, fill your pockets with rice, and come swim the warm water of…well, you know the rest. After — MTM all, it’s just a jump to the left.

local and regional shows

Dark Horse Ten, Bad Scout, Eight Knives [$5] The Rough & Tumble [FREE]

Thu, Oct 16 Sun, Oct 19

Live Trivia every Sunday afternoon from 4-6pm Ryan Oyer hosts Open Mic every Wednesday @ 8pm

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chattanoogapulse.com • october 16-22, 2014 • The Pulse • 11

LIVE MUSIC OCTOBER

16 MATT STILLWELL FRI 9p 17 JUDAH & THE LION SAT 9p 18 SUN PAUL THORN 8p 19 WED CHRIS KNIGHT 9p 22 THU DRAKE WHITE 9p 23 FRI ERICK BAKER 9p 24 MANDOLIN ORANGE THU 9p with JOSH OLIVER

THE HOT NEW COUNTRY SOUND

with CEREUS BRIGHT

SONGWRITER, SINGER & STORY TELLER

with CARDON SMITH

& THE BIG FIRE

with special guest SONIA LEIGH

with special guest AMBER FULTS

10.25 DANK SINATRA, BACKUP PLANET, MASSEUSE 10.29 DREW STERCHI and BLUES TRIBE

COMING SOON

THE COMMUNICATORS FRI 9p THAT 90’S HALLOWEEN SHOW!

ARPETRIO

with SKYMATIC & SOL SERMON

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SAT 9:30p

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MUSIC CALENDAR

CHATTANOOGA

Pop Evil

thursday10.16 CSO Lunchtime Concert Series 11:30 a.m.

Warehouse Row 1110 Market St. chattanoogasymphony.org String Theory: The Fleisher Duo 6:30 p.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View huntermuseum.org Mike McDade 7 p.m.

1885 Grill 3914 St. Elmo Ave. 1885grill.com Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m.

The Camp House 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com Jesse James, Tim Neal 7:30 p.m.

Mexi Wings VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 296-1073 Tim Barnes, Evan Lipson 7:30 p.m.

Apothecary 744 McCallie Ave. shakingray.com Kip Moore, Charlie Worsham, Sam Hunt 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com Pop Evil, Within Reason, Letters from the Fire 8 p.m.

12 • The Pulse • october 16-22, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Mandolin Orange, Josh Oliver 9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Dark Horse Ten, Eight Knives, Bad Scout 9 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Joe Buck Yourself, Viva Le Vox, GHoGH, Husky Barnette 10 p.m.

Pulse Pick: Judah & The Lion Their songs showcase strong, passionate harmonies singing stories of real life—hope and heartbreak, adventure and stillness, all together as one unique sound.

Judah & the Lion Saturday, 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Roman Gabriel Todd, Que Pasa USA, The Strangers 10 p.m.

Sluggo’s North 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224

friday10.17 Ryan Oyer 11 a.m.

Miller Plaza 850 Market St. rivercitycompany.com Chattanooga Acoustic Showcase 7 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd.

christunity.org The Courtney Daly Band 7 p.m.

Talus Bar & Grill 812 Scenic Hwy. (423) 602-5604 Galactic Cowboy Orchestra, Solar Moonshine 7:30 p.m.

The Camp House 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com Soulfed 8 p.m.

Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com Priscilla, Lil Rickee 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Ben Rector, Jon McLaughlin 8:30 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co Matt Stillwell, DJ Magic Mic 9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Jess Goggans 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Dead Testaments, Jasmine Kaset, Waterfall Wash 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Remembering January

10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com Gaslight Anthem 10:30 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com

saturday10.18 Oktoberfest Noon Mountain Creek Harley-Davidson 1001 Market St., Dalton, GA mountaincreekharley.com Rocktoberfest Noon Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. Packway Handle Band 5:30 p.m.

Renaissance Park River St. (423) 643-6889 Jimmy Tawater 6 p.m.

Camp Jordan 323 Camp Jordan Pkwy. eastridgeparksandrec.com Chattanooga Country Indie Battle of the Bands 7 p.m.

Memorial Auditorium 399 McCallie Ave. chattanoogaonstage.com Exit 60 8 p.m.

Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com

All or Nothin’ 8 p.m.

Ziggy’s Underground 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 265-8711 Priscilla, Lil Rickee 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Big Gigantic, Manic Focus, Modern Measure 9 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co Judah & the Lion, Cereus Bright 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Hap Henninger 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191

sunday10.19 Rocktoberfest Noon Rock City Gardens 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Old Time Travelers 12:30 p.m.

1885 Grill 3914 St. Elmo Ave. 1885grill.com Sunday Night Irish Music Jam Session 5 p.m.

Grocery Bar 1501 Long St. grocerybar.com The Rough & Tumble 7 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Paul Thorn 8 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

monday10.20 Julian Casablancas + The Voidz, Mr. Twin Sister 9 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co

tuesday10.21 Rick’s Blues Jam 7 p.m.

Folk School of Chattanooga 1200 Mountain Creek Rd. chattanoogafolk.com Tim Starnes, Davey Smith 7 p.m.

Sugar’s Downtown 507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com Amon Amarth, Sabaton, Skeletonwitch

MUSIC CALENDAR

Keys N Krates 8 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co

wednesday10.22 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonrestaurant.com Red Rogues 7 p.m.

1885 Grill 3914 St. Elmo Ave. 1885grill.com Dan Sheffield 7:30 p.m.

Sugar’s Downtown 507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com Chris Knight, Cardon Smith 8 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Keys N Krates, Gladiator, Thugli 9 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co Small Reactions, Tantrum, Mythical Motors 10 p.m.

Sluggo’s North 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224 Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

901 Carter St Inside City Cafe 423-634-9191 Thursday, October 16: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, October 17: 9pm Jess Goggans Saturday, October 18: 10pm Hap Henninger Tuesday, October 21: 7pm

Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Join us on Facebook

CheCk out the Cat in the hat

Follow us on Facebook (we’re quite likeable) facebook.com/chattanoogapulse

chattanoogapulse.com • october 16-22, 2014 • The Pulse • 13

Record Reviews

ernie paik

Supernatural Fiddling, Spooky Fantasy Jessica Pavone morphs, Bob Drake surprises

Jessica Pavone Knuckle Under (Taiga)

V

iolist Jessica Pavone’s new vinyl-only album Knuckle Under is characterized by its methods and attitudes, and not by any genre. If listeners are to use the album’s title as a clue regarding the proceedings, to “knuckle under” means to to submit to someone; in this case, Pavone extrudes wild sounds, using distortion and effects-manipulation, from pure notes, yet she demonstrates an acute control over them, reining them with the illusion of freedom.

In certain examples, Pavone will use an individual sonic idea—a motif or even a single note—and take it as far as it can possibly go.

On the opening and closing tracks, “But Not Here” and “Plutonium,” Pavone plays double-stops with the lower notes being open-string pedal notes and the upper notes mapping out melodies, exploring sound contours that favor bow pressure and attacks over intonation to be

14 • The Pulse • october 16-22, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Bob Drake Lawn Ornaments (ReR) expressive. On “But Not Here,” the dissolving digital-delay echoes transform gradually into oppressive, sharp-edged blocks, as if pumped out of industrial machinery; “Plutonium” forks into a different path, with Pavone’s sung notes being mirrored by distorted pizzicato.

“Salute Flying” begins with another simple premise, using the repetition of two notes separated by an octave, with the second note being a crystalline harmonic; gradually, more sustain is added so that the note feeds back, almost to the point of no return on a slippery slope—however, Pavone holds the notes on a leash, directing their dissolutions precisely.

Later, her manipulated viola notes sound like electric piano tones, slipping into mysterious softness before an abrasive sonic scouring, contrasted with interjections in the form of untreated notes.

The album’s title track uses

a crackling ball of squeaky harmonics with forceful, percussive bowing, joined by a ghostly chorus fog, with the marshaled chaos resembling supernatural fiddling.

While methodical, the fascinating Knuckle Under never sounds clinical, and although Pavone keeps everything in line seemingly systematically, the original tones morph, bubble and char from the applied heat, assuming new shadowy lives of their own.

S

ometimes—very rarely, actually—a new musical discovery can make this writer not feel like an insufferably jaded curmudgeon. Bob Drake was known to this reviewer as a recording engineer, who did miraculous remastering work on the 40th anniversary Henry Cow boxed set among other projects, but only recently was he exposed to Drake’s brilliant solo work, when a friend played some excerpts from the new album, Lawn Ornaments.

“This is insane! Who makes pop music like this? MUST...

CONSUME...” are thoughts that came immediately to mind. Smitten, this writer swiftly bought Lawn Ornaments and seven other Bob Drake albums, in one fell swoop; remarkably, there isn’t a dud in the bunch.

Bob Drake is in his own category, making ostensibly popcentric music that is wildly complicated, with the complexity of progressive rock and unrepentant, unrelenting short-attention-span genre-hopping (think John Zorn’s Naked City or Mr. Bungle). Many of his songs are concise, often under two minutes each, with longer tracks each containing an album’s worth of ideas; Drake plays and sings almost everything himself, with spotless recordings and an utterly flawless musicianship.

Lawn Ornaments takes the listener on a stroll through an eccentric’s manor and sculpture garden come to life, featuring a sinister meerkat, flying foxes and a wolf with an extraordinarily discerning olfactory sense. It’s a combination of spooky fantasy with a smile-inducing, goofy sense of humor, peppered with S.A.T.-worthy words.

Like a haunted house, there’s a surprise lurking around every corner, with joyful explosions of prog virtuosity with breathtaking runs and diversions that warp, yet never derail each song.

It’s one of the year’s highlights, being an overflowing fountain of ideas that refuses to be confined to the structures of typical pop songwriting. Yes, it is busy and labyrinthine, rarely settling into a riff for very long, and those averse to such rigorous methods could accuse Drake of trying too hard; this writer thinks that everyone else isn’t trying hard enough.

the Pulse

Halloween Guide halloween express all aboard with the tennessee valley railroad museum’s “eerie express” Family train trip

zombie massacre

:

can you survive the zombie invasion armed with only a trusty paintball rifle?

plus haunted houses & HALLOWEEN events WHERE TO GO, WHAT TO SEE, WHEN TO SCREAM

your weekly guide to chattanooga's favorite halloween haunts chattanoogapulse.com • halloween guide 2014 • The Pulse • 15

Get Onboard For Family Fun

By Josh Lang

P

P A I N T B A L L P R E S E N T S

Come Shoot Zombies...

That Don't Shoot Back!

1200 Wisdom Street - Chattanooga www.survivealive.com

We Are Saving Mobile Lives 1906 Gunbarrel Rd. 423-486-1668 (Next to GiGi’s Cupcakes)

5425 Highway 153 423-805-4640 (Next to CiCi’s Pizza)

cellphonerepair.com/chattanooga

erhaps intense frights and ghoulish delights aren’t your cup of tea. Maybe you’re looking for something more familyfun friendly. If so, hop on down to the Halloween Eerie Express at the Tennessee Valley Railroad Grand Junction Station for a spooktacular fun time. Priced at only $22 a ticket for patrons aged 2 and up, this excursion transports you and the family on a 90-minute ride to a fear-free, 20-room funhouse filled with festive fellowship.

Riding the local Tennessee Valley Railroad during Halloween Eerie Express supports their existence, allowing them to offer such sentimental and sweet train rides for you and the entire family.

The journey is round trip, so no worries about ghastly ghouls preventing your trip home to watch “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”. Once aboard, the train chug-chug-chugs along slowly until you reach the Funhouse Station,

approximately ten minutes later.

Upon arrival at the Funhouse, the fun truly begins! A great wise storyteller reveals words of wisdom and holiday cheer. To everyone’s surprise, that isn’t the extent of this truly spooktacular evening. When storytime ends, the house full of fun awaits. Mirrors, peering into one’s soul, dance bravely upon the bosom of truth and brevity. Childish laughter fills the air, seeping into every pore.

Yet mirrors and smoke alone don’t satisfy one’s appetite for activities.

Black-lit putt putt sets the mood for pure perfection among the young travelers. The entire Tennessee Valley Railroad staff was quite professional and seemed genuinely eager to satisfy each and every paying customer.

Little ones are encouraged to dress up in costumes to enhance their spooky experiences. Bags of goodies and treats are included for savory sensations. Then it was over.

How could something so spectacular and fun last forever?

Halloween Eerie Express 4199 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028 tvrail.com

Haunted Houses & Events Acres of Darkness Haunted Trail Chattanooga Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Rd. Fridays & Saturdays, Oct. 17-31 Tickets: $15; $5 off for CAS Members acresofdarkness.com Blowing Screams Farm 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd., Flintstone, Ga. Fridays & Saturdays, Oct. 4-Nov. 1 Tickets: $16 General Admission blowingscreamsfarm.com Boo in the Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. Oct. 17-18 & 24-25 Tickets: $8.95 adults, $5.95 children, free ages 2-under Half off for members chattzoo.org

16 • The Pulse • halloween guide 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Demise Haunted House 3801 Ringgold Rd. Fridays-Sundays in Oct., Oct. 30, & Nov. 1 Tickets: $20 demisehauntedhouse.com Enchanted Maize 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd., Flintstone, Ga. Thursdays-Sundays, Sept. 25- Nov. 2 Tickets: $10 all ages, Blowing Springs Farm; Free-Children 3-under; $20 Combo ticket blowingspringsfarm.com Halloween Eerie Express 4199 Cromwell Rd. Oct. 17-18, & 24-25 Tickets: $22 ages 2 & up tvrail.com The Haunted Barn 5017 McDonald Rd.,

McDonald, TN Fridays & Saturdays in Oct. & Nov. 1 Tickets: $20 all ages thehauntedbarnchattanooga.com Haunted Cavern Ruby Falls 1720 South Scenic Hwy. Fridays-Sundays in October & Nov. 1 Tickets: $23 (Fri.), $25 (Sat.), $21 (Sun. & Oct. 9) hauntedcavern.com Haunted Hilltop 8235 Hwy. 58, Harrison, TN Fridays & Saturdays in Oct. & Nov. 1 Tickets: $20 for everything or $15 per attraction thehauntedhilltop.com Lake WinnepeSPOOKah 1730 Lakeview Dr. Fridays & Saturdays, Oct. 3-31

Tickets: $22 ages 3-54 lakewinnie.com/spookah Mystery Dog Ranch Haunted Ranch & Hayride 975 Wooten Rd., Ringgold, Ga. Oct. 17-18, 24-25, 31 & Nov. 1 Tickets: $12 mysterydoghauntedranchandhayride.com Ringgold Haunted Depot 155 Depot St., Ringgold, Ga. Final 3 weekends in Oct. Tickets: $15 for all cityofringgold.com Survive Alive Paintball Zombie Shoot 1200 Wisdom St. Fridays & Saturdays, Oct. 3-Nov. 1 Tickets: $25 survivealive.com

Protecting Your Braaaaaains

By Josh Lang

D

ear Reader, Have you ever felt that enough is enough? It’s time to stand up to the zombie masses and fight back! Well, now you can at the Redneck Zombie Paintball at Gutherie Pumpkin Farm.

Located just outside Chattanooga, this rootin’ tootin’ good time is second to none.

Load up your family and join in the festivities, including concessions, fire pit, spooks and haunts galore! If you choose to participate in the zombie shooting experience, be sure to bring $15. Everyone loads up into a big contraption built for blowing zombies’ brains out. Ammo is limited so aim to kill.

You won’t have a more pleasant and fun experience hunting zombies, though. The course is spookily planned through the haunted woods—and zombies come out from every nook and cranny! They are fully armored and prepared for the invasion of paintballs, so let your finger do the talking.

When the killing spree comes to an end, there is also a pumpkin patch and corn maize to explore.

The frights and thrills don’t end when zombie blood stops spilling—oh, no. Getting lost in corn taller than the average human is frightfully delicious indeed. Just about as delicious as their refreshing beverages.

(They also have an animal petting barn for those animal lovers out there.)

I would recommend going earlier in the month, as the closer it

halloweenexpress.com/chattanooga Beside Pepboy’s Auto, near Hamilton Place Mall entrance gets to Halloween, the busier the attraction will become. Better to thrash out the zombie guts earlier than later, I always say.

The zombie paintball experience takes place every Friday and Saturday night in October, selling tickets from 7-10 p.m. The pumpkin patch and corn maize is open every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. The hours differ for these attractions so, check out their website for additional information.

Redneck Zombie Paintball 490 County Road 67, Riceville, TN (423) 650-2939 tnpumpkinfarm.com

2114 Gunbarrel Road Chattanooga, TN

$10 OFF

a purchase of $50.00 or more.

Expires October 26, 2014. Only at this location. Limit one coupon per customer.

Cannot be combined with any other offer or discount.

Beside Pepboy’s Auto, near Hamilton Place Mall entrance

2114 Gunbarrel Road Chattanooga, TN

HE2313-5.25x10.4-PulseMgz-ChattanoogaTN-4c.indd 1 chattanoogapulse.com

1:39 • halloween guide 2014 • The10/9/14 Pulse • PM 17

The FEAR is HERE.

At the foot of Lookout Mountain 271 Chattanooga Valley Rd. Flintstone, Georgia 30725 Phone 706-820-2531

Fri. & Sat. Nights sponsored by

In Partnership with

Thurs, Fri, Sat & Sun nights!

VOTED TOP 10 IN NATION

Save on Sundays - buy your online ticket today.

Rand McNally

Not recommended for young children, parental discretion is advised.

18 • The Pulse • halloween guide 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Meet The Real Ricotta How to make cheesy goodness right at home

“

The ingredients may already be in your refrigerator, and the results are incomparably superior to any commercial ricotta.”

Longtime food writer and professional chef Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan who has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants, and singlehandedly increased Chattanooga’s meat consumption statistics for three consecutive years. Join him on Facebook at facebook.com/SushiAndBiscuits

A few years ago, if you had to any commercial ricotta lurkasked me what I thought of ing in the dairy aisle. ricotta cheese, I would have Now, let’s get cheese-nerdy responded with the same enfor a minute. Strictly speakthusiasm I typically reserve for ing, ricotta is not considered a things such as khakis, unseacheese, but a latticino (which soned pasta or watching golf on means a dairy by-product). television.

Tr a d i t i o n a l The brightricotta is made ly colored by reheating, tubs of Sorstraining and rento and Poldraining the ly-O ricotta whey that’s that dominate left over after MIKE McJUNKIN grocery-store a cheese, such shelves contain an almost flaas mozzarella, is made. vorless, mildly sour substance If you don’t have any exthat has the texture of cheap tra whey sitting around, you drywall paste. can heat some milk, add an Commercially available, acid, strain and drain. It’s that store-bought ricotta inevitably simple. (Yes, technically this is has to be mixed with Parmesan more of a paneer or queso frescocheese, herbs and seasonings like cheese, but we’re not here to help the taste; then with to split hairs, we’re here to eggs or cream to help the texmake delicious fresh cheese!) ture before being stuffed into When you add an acid to manicotti shells or spread bemilk, it creates curds because tween layers of lasagna. of a milk protein called casein.

Eating a big bite spread on Little groups of casein float leicrostini or a dollop spooned surely around in milk without into a bowl with fruit and honbonding to anything—that is, ey sounds about as appetizing unless the milk becomes too as eating a mouthful of unseaacidic. soned mashed potatoes.

When you add an acid, the Then I tried fresh, homenegative charge of the casein made ricotta. With the first becomes neutral and instead of bite, a door was opened to a staying by themselves, the caTechnicolor world and I am sein start clumping together to certain I heard “Somewhere form curds.

Over the Rainbow” playing There are many fresh or softly in the background as “pot cheese” recipes available I savored the creamy, sweet, on the interwebs that call for a flavorful ambrosia gracing my variety of acids, differing ratios taste buds. of milk to cream and a range of Then came another gamedrain times. After painstakingchanging revelation—this gloly testing these recipes I have rious manna can be made at put this recipe together just for home in minutes without any you, dear reader. specialized equipment. The ingredients may already be in Ingredients your refrigerator, and the re• 8 cups high-quality whole sults are incomparably superior milk

Sushi & Biscuits

• 1-1/2 cups high quality heavy cream • 1/4 cup lemon juice (freshly squeezed is best, but bottled will do) • 1/2 tsp. kosher salt Instructions In a medium, heavy-bottomed pot, heat the milk and cream on the stove over medium-low heat until it reaches 180 degrees.

Add the lemon juice and salt to the milk and stir briefly to combine. Heat over a medium flame for a few more minutes until it reaches 195 degrees.

Remove the pot from the stove and let it sit for 10 minutes. The curds will begin to separate from the whey. If you don’t see cheese forming in the first minute or two, add a touch more lemon juice.

After 10 minutes, pour the mixture through a strainer/colander lined with cheesecloth, a tea towel, or even paper towels if you’re in a pinch, to separate the curds from the whey. (Save the whey to use in pancake, bread, soup or rice recipes!)

Let the whey drain. After about five minutes it will be extremely moist and creamy

with small, tender curds. After 15-20 minutes it will be moist and spreadable, but not runny.

After draining two or more hours, your cheese will form stiff, dry, crumbly curds that can easily be molded into firm shapes.

Transfer the cheese to an airtight container and store for up to five days.

Uses I prefer it fresh off the stove, drained for five minutes and still warm. Spread this on toasted baguette slices and top with a drizzle of honey and a sprinkling of course kosher salt.

The 15-20 minute drained version is perfect for moist, savory applications like lasagna or ravioli fillings, dips and uncooked sweet dishes like cannoli.

The dryer, crumblier stuff can be used for ricotta gnocchi, pastries such as ricotta pancakes or sprinkled over pizza before baking. However you decide to use it, fresh ricotta is a revelation that should not be missed.

Have fun and make some creamy, ricotta goodness tonight!

chattanoogapulse.com • october 16-22, 2014 • The Pulse • 19

ARTS SCENE

Stories That Inspire And Enlighten

The Monster Inside Him Stevenson classic gives stage fright at Colonnade During this scary season, be sure to stop by the Colonnade Performing Arts Theatre in Ringgold, GA to see a performance of “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.” The production, adapted by playwright Jeffrey Hatcher, is based on the novella of the same name by Robert Louis Stevenson and will be presented by Back Alley Productions.

The production depicts how Dr. Jekyll experiments with chemistry and splits his own personality. Director Kaylee Smith revealed that several actors portray the character of Hyde because Hatcher’s adaptation strives to show the universal pull of evil inside everyone.

“This isn’t your everyday Jekyll and Hyde,” Smith said. “Many stage and film adaptations tend to water down the gravity of evil in Stevenson’s original. Hatcher’s version goes full

throttle. So we’ve tailored the set, costumes and lighting to invoke that level of fright and suspense in a day and age where creating fear is no small task.”

Fans of old-school suspense and psychological thrillers should especially enjoy this production. Due to adult subject matter, parental guidance is advised for children under the age of 13.

Shows are Oct. 17, 18, 24 and 25 at 7:30 p.m. with a 1 p.m. matinee on Oct. 25. Tickets are $11 for adults and $9 for students and seniors.

— Rachael Poe “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” The Colonnade Performing Arts Theatre 264 Catoosa Circle, Ringgold, GA (706) 621-2870 backalleyproductions.org

FRI10.16

SAT10.17

Sun10.18

hallo-wild

imaginarium

beer beer beer

Boo in the Zoo

“Improv-A-Lot”

Chattanooga Market: Oktoberfest

Trick-or-treat stations, costume contests, pony rides, and much more!

5:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org

Fast, funny and always the unexpected.

11 p.m.

Ensemble Theatre 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

Celebrate our German culture with the biggest Oktoberfest party in town.

11 a.m.

The Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com

20 • The Pulse • october 16-22, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Third annual “Walk A Mile In My Shoes” shares lifestories from all walks of life

M

y father volunteered weekly for Room at the Inn. I would sometimes come along in to help feed those who came to share in a hot meal. I remember that, even as a child, I felt a great sense of sympathy for the people I met there; but also that I was in a unique position to get to talk to them, hear their stories and be a part of their lives for that brief moment in time.

Arts hayley graham

“

The hope is that all who attend this event will leave with a deeper understanding of their neighbors, no matter what their walk of life.”

One of those people has lingered in my mind all my life since. I don’t remember his real name. I knew him as “Uncle Booger.” Uncle Booger frequently came to stay the night and had a wild personality, referring to me as his “Boogerette.”

In preparation for writing this story, I asked my dad what he remembered about Uncle Booger. He couldn’t remember anything beyond what I’ve written here. I wondered: Do we not remember because so many years have passed? Or because we never bothered to ask, to listen?

As I pondered this, I started to think about other people, homeless and not, that I’ve come across in my life, and the details I could recall about the stories they’ve told and the feelings they’ve shared. Could I remember their stories, or at least the emotion behind them?

On Oct. 17-18 at 7:30 p.m. and Oct. 19 at 1:30 p.m, The Salvation Army’s 614 Corps’ ReCreate Cafe will present “Walk In My Shoes, 3rd Edition: An Evening of Stories from Chattanooga’s Homeless and Non-homeless Citizens.” Storytellers will be reading the

stories of others in the community in order to share in the various trials and experiences that, although potentially unfamiliar, can be universally understood.

This evening of storytelling, according to ReCreate Café Artistic Director Tenika Dye, will create “awareness that we are all more alike than we are different. We are human beings with struggles, tragedies, and victories. Empathy is the goal of this. It allows the audience to also consider, ‘If I went through what these people are talking about how would I respond?’ Then you have an audience that is ‘feeling with’ those on stage, rather than ‘feeling sorry for’.”

One such story is that of Lee Sanders, who will be participating in “Walk in My Shoes” for the second time. The

first time, he had his story told. This time, he’ll have another of his stories told, as well as performing another’s story himself.

Sanders has experienced a vast spectrum of life events, from having a home, job and wife in Atlanta, to losing his wife suddenly, to descending into a deep devastation that resulted in his being stuck in a cycle of depression and homelessness.

And then, he says, “I had my story told in the ‘Walk In My Shoes Christmas Edition’, [and] working with Bruce Shaw, Tenika Dye and Lief Ramsey got me to thinking. I started to volunteer at the Salvation Army and at church. I started to make new friends who wanted to help me. I had some church friends who took me in, gave me a place to live; eventually I found

a job. I also became the focus for the Arts Build documentary about ‘Walk in My Shoes.’ And now I am in the Holmberg Leadership Institute, and will graduate in November.”

Sanders’ story is inspiring, but, he says, he drew inspiration from hearing others’ stories to set himself on a new path. He hopes many others can be touched by these stories.

“I hope everyone comes out,” he says, “Anyone could benefit from these stories. They’re about people and their lives, not necessarily about where they live. We’re all still people, no matter our housing. Just hearing the other stories made me feel the need to stop thinking just about myself and to think about others.”

The hope is that all who attend this event will leave with a deeper under-

trivia tuesday

standing of their neighbors, no matter what their walk of life. Dye says, “We are not alone in this life. There are others like us. Our experiences might be vastly different, but at our core self we are humans trying our best to exist in a sometimes really messy world. But there is also great beauty and togetherness that can be found and celebrated, and I hope we are doing that with this work.”

“Walk A Mile In My Shoes, 3rd Edition” Oct. 17-19 ReCreate Café (at the Salvation Army) 800 McCallie Ave. (423) 756-1023, ext. 1023 csarmy.org/programs_cafe

$5 PITCHERS & FREE TRIVIA AT 7:30

thirsty thursday

$3 DRAFTS AND FREE BEER OF THE MONTH PINT GLASS WITH PURCHASE

Open in Ooltewah!

9453 Bradmore Lane Ooltewah, TN 37363 SBurgerCo Southern Burger Co 423-825-4919

© Southern Burger Co., LLC 2013. All rights reserved.

chattanoogapulse.com • october 16-22, 2014 • The Pulse • 21

ARTS CALENDAR

“Of Mice and Men”

thursday10.16

Now Open!

Thurs. - Sun. in October EnchantedMaze. com

Open Fri. & Sat. in October

BlowingScreamsFarm.com

Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Art After School Series: “All that Glitters – Jewelry Making” 4:30 p.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “A Short History of Chattanooga” 6 p.m.

Chattanooga History Center 2 W. Aquarium Way (423) 265-3247 chattanoogahistory.com Chattanooga Oktoberfest: Festhalle Banquet 6 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogaoktoberfest.com “Give My Regards to Broadway!”

6 p.m.

Walden Club 633 Chestnut St. (423) 756-6686 artistiaffamati.com String Theory at the Hunter 6:30 p.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Camp Chair Cinema:

22 • The Pulse • october 16-22, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

“The Crossing” 7 p.m.

Renaissance Park 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com “Of Mice and Men” 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Photographic Society of Chattanooga Open House 7 p.m.

St. John’s United Methodist Church 3921 Murray Hills Dr. (423) 344-5643 chattanoogaphoto.org “Cut Up For Life” Featuring Karlous Miller 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch

Pulse Pick: Karlous Miller When it comes to comedy, only a few comedians have the natural gift of being funny without overdoing it and Karlous definitely embodies that infectious gift.

Karlous Miller The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

friday10.17 2014 Tennessee Dance Festival 5 p.m.

Center for Creative Arts 1301 Dallas Rd. (423) 920-3317 tennesseedance.org Chattanooga Market: Oktoberfest 5 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogaoktoberfest.com Boo in the Zoo 5:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave.

(423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” 7:30 p.m.

The Colonnade Performing Arts Theatre 264 Catoosa Circle, Ringgold, GA (706) 621-2870 backalleyproductions.org The Glo Run 7:30 p.m.

Coolidge Park 200 River St. theglorun.com Bill Sorrells 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Of Mice and Men” 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com

saturday10.18 2014 Tennessee Dance Festival 8 a.m.

Center for Creative Arts 1301 Dallas Rd. (423) 920-3317 tennesseedance.org Chattanooga Oktoberfest 5k Run & 1 Mile Fun Run 8 a.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogaoktoberfest.com

Brainerd Farmers’ Market 10 a.m.

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 698-0330 Northside Farmers’ Market on Mississippi 10 a.m.

Northside Presbyterian 953 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 Hixson Farmers’ Market 10 a.m.

St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-1342 Chattanooga Market: Oktoberfest 10 a.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogaoktoberfest.com Rain Barrel Workshop 10 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (423) 267-3474 tnaqua.org “The Color Purple” Musical 1 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. thecolorpurplechattanooga.com Artful Yoga: “Being the Sparrow” 1:30 p.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Boo in the Zoo 5:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Zoo

301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org The Urban Campout 5:30 p.m.

Renaissance Park 200 River St. (423) 265-0771 chattanoogapresents.com “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” 7:30 p.m.

The Colonnade Performing Arts Theatre 264 Catoosa Circle, Ringgold, GA (706) 621-2870 backalleyproductions.org Karlous Miller 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “The Phantom of the Opera” (silent film with live music) 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 529-0315 chattanoogamusicclub.org “Of Mice and Men” 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com “Improv-A-Lot” 11 p.m.

Ensemble Theatre 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

sunday10.19 7 Bridges Marathon 7 a.m.

Renaissance Park 200 River St. sevenbridgesmarathon.com 2014 Tennessee Dance Festival 8 a.m.

Center for Creative Arts 1301 Dallas Rd. (423) 920-3317 tennesseedance.org Chattanooga Market: Oktoberfest 11 a.m.

The Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com “Of Mice and Men” 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Karlous Miller 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

monday10.20 Street Smarts Cycling Class 6 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423)643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com The Backlot: A Place

ARTS CALENDAR

2014 Tennessee Dance Festival for Filmmakers 6:30 p.m.

Heritage House 1428 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-9474

tuesday10.21 Southern Lit Alliance: “The Wizard of Oz” 9:30, 11:30 a.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 267-1218 southernlitalliance.org [AVANT-ART] Presents: An Evening with Painter Scott Hill 6 p.m.

Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org

wednesday10.22

Open Weekends in October HauntedCavern.com Open Weekends!

“The Wizard of Oz” 9:30, 11:30 a.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 267-1218 southernlitalliance.org Wednesday Market 4 p.m.

1829 Carter St. (423) 402-9957 chattanoogamarket.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

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chattanoogapulse.com • october 16-22, 2014 • The Pulse • 23

SCREEN SCENE

Your Honor, We Object To Movie Clichés

Powerful star turns by Duvall and Downey Jr. can’t quite acquit “The Judge”

Who’s Playing The Organ?

Bringing a silent movie classic to life at the Tivoli Theatre With the Halloween season well upon us (in spite of all the Christmas displays at the various retail outlets), one of the most intriguing events has nothing to do with trick-or-treating, costume parties, or even zombies.

Back in 1925, one of the seminal horror movies in film history was released: “The Phantom of the Opera”, starring the legendary Lon Chaney.

While still in the era of silent film, Chaney’s chilling portrayal of the mysterious phantom was an instant success.

In 1929, Universal redubbed the movie with a large pipe organ and

✴✴✴✴

sound effects, but very few of the prints of the sound version have survived in any type of quality.

So what to do?

Easy...play the original version along with a live pipe organ. Such as is planned for this Saturday at the Tivoli Theatre with Ken Double on the Mighty Wurlizter Theatre Organ.

“The Phantom of the Opera” Saturday, Oct. 18, 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 529-0315 chattanoogamusicclub.org

NEW IN THEATERS

✴✴✴✴

Fury Dear White People As the Allies make their final push in The lives of four black students at the European Theatre, a battle-hardan Ivy League college converge after ened army sergeant named Wardcontroversy breaks out due to the addy commands a Sherman tank and theme of the campus humor magaher five-man crew on a deadly miszine’s annual Halloween party. sion behind enemy lines.

Director: Justin Simien Director: David Ayer Stars: Tyler James Williams, Tessa Stars: Brad Pitt, Shia LaBeouf Thompson, Teyonah Parris 24 • The Pulse • october 16-22, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

C

lichés exist for a reason. They are essentially repetitions of themes, of esthetically pleasing ideas and phrases that were at one time wise and powerful observations of the human condition. No matter how many times we see a popular movie trope, there is someone, somewhere who is experiencing it for the first time.

Screen JOHN DEVORE

“

Certain audiences will find this comforting rather than tedious and the actors are strong enough to almost carry the movie.”

Usually these re-used and rehashed ideas are popular among the young and inexperienced—introductory writing courses are fraught with old adages and common nuggets of truth, not because the writers are lazy, but because they are learning.

Many times, movies will return to clichés again and again, because it’s easy and people continue to respond to them. This doesn’t necessarily doom a movie, but it does tend to limit it in a way that is hard to overcome. “The Judge” is a film filled with cliché but it’s endearing enough at times that the clichés can be ignored. If it didn’t rely so heavily on familiar themes, the talent of the cast might have overcome most of the missteps in the script. As it is, “The Judge” is still a film that will appeal to a certain crowd. I have no doubt my mother will love it. But the excellent performances in the film aren’t enough to rise above the “movie of the week” melodrama that occupies its core.

Robert Downey Jr. plays a hotshot defense lawyer in Chicago, the type that doesn’t worry about the guilt of his client, only the depth of his pockets. He is from Small Town, Indiana, and during the first of many convenient coincidences learns about the passing of his mother before he begins a big trial. This is of course played

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up as an excuse for a continuance and serves as a way to further characterize Hank Palmer as a slippery personality.

Palmer returns home after exchanging a few terse words with his soon-tobe-ex-wife to attend the funeral and revisit his past.

Small Town, Indiana looks exactly as it should, with well-lit American flags flying high in the breeze, precocious children on bicycles, and anachronistic young boys loading fishing equipment into the backs of antique pickup trucks. Palmer buries his mother, fights with his father and leaves as quickly as he arrives. But in convenient coincidence number two he is caught on the plane by his brother and asked to come home. His father has been brought in for questioning regarding the hit-and-run death of a pedestrian. It’s worth mentioning that Palmer’s father, played by an ever-more-crotchety Robert Duvall, is a well-respected judge in Small Town and the man he hit just happened to be a murderer that escaped justice some years earlier. Thus begins the crux of the story: Hank Palmer must defend a man he despises and loves, discovering himself in the process.

Almost everything in this film is telegraphed. If you’ve seen a movie before, you know what’s going to happen. Characters in “The Judge” abandon cars on empty roads and walk in

opposite directions to indicate their distance from each other. They have histrionic shouting matches during thunderstorms to heighten the tension and highlight the power of the opposing personalities. They have touching and deep revelations on the witness stand, because it is the only place where they are bound by law to tell the truth. Certain audiences will find this comforting rather than tedious and, as I mentioned, the actors are strong enough to almost carry the movie despite these glaring, boilerplate choices. However, the film completely wastes the talent of Vera Farminga by assigning her the role of the one-note ex-girlfriend whose sole purpose is to provide the protagonist with a chance at redemption.

Robert Duvall is 83 and continues to be one of the best actors in Hollywood. One of my issues with “The Judge” is that it has the potential to use him well and falls short. I fear that he may not have many more films in him and I’d hate for him to end his career on a film like this one. “The Judge” is acceptable and safe, but an actor like Duvall (and Robert Downey Jr. and Vera Farminga and Vincent D’Onofrio for that matter) needs a more challenging and powerful script to inject their talents into. Let’s hope that future projects will show a wider range by providing a better story.

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chattanoogapulse.com • october 16-22, 2014 • The Pulse • 25

Mixology

rachael poe

Finding Autumn In A Glass Try these simple pumpkin spice cocktail recipes

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with the highest quality ingredients make the perfect cocktail.

Come enjoy an expertly crafted beverage today.

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26 • The Pulse • october 16-22, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

To be honest, I am more than a little skeptical when it comes to the pumpkin spice craze. From coffee to muffins to ice cream, it seems like everything comes in a pumpkin spice flavor during the month of October.

But pumpkin spice mixed drinks?

Really? I had to know if it was worth the hype. So I tracked down a few recipes, and the results were… well…surprisingly delicious.

I began by giving the Spiced Pumpkin Punch a try. It’s a bourbon-based drink that is, as its name implies, designed to knock you out. The ingredients are: 1 ounce of pumpkin puree, 1 teaspoon of honey, 1 ounce of fresh lemon juice, 2 ounces of bourbon, 3 ounces of ginger beer, 1/8 teaspoon of ground ginger, and 1/8 teaspoon of ground cinnamon.

Though the ingredients list may seem intimidating, the process is actually simple. Place all of the ingredients in a cocktail shaker and shake vigorously. Strain the ingredients over ice in a rocks glass—and you are done. (If you’d like to add some extra flair, you can garnish your cocktail with a cinnamon stick and sage leaves. And maybe an extra dash of cinnamon on top.)

I moved on to the Pumpkin Mojito. I know, I know. It sounds strange to make such a summery drink in the midst of autumn. But trust me. It’s worth it. Instead of overpowering the drink, the pumpkin used in the recipe simple adds a new twist, and it complements the flavors of rum, mint, and lime surprisingly well.

To make a Pumpkin Mojito, you will need 10 mint leaves, 1 tablespoon of brown sugar, 1-1/4 ounces of aged rum, 1 tablespoon of pumpkin puree, 1 tablespoon of lime juice, and 2 ounc-

es of club soda. Since rum is the only spirit used in this drink, I recommend splurging on a higher quality label.

First, muddle the mint leaves and sugar in the bottom of a cocktail shaker. Then add the rum, pumpkin, lime juice, and ice. Shake until thoroughly mixed and chilled. Finally, strain the mixture into a Collins glass and top with club soda. If you have some extra mint leaves on hand, they can be used as a garnish.

Lastly, I tried my hand at pumpkin spice-infused vodka.

The recipe I followed called for one 6-inch vanilla bean, one piece of pumpkin, half of a nutmeg, and 750 ml. of vodka.

Cut the vanilla bean in half lengthwise. Then use a vegetable peeler to shave 12 thin strips off a piece of pumpkin; each strip should be about 6 inches long and 1 inch wide. Next, combine the vanilla bean, pumpkin strips, halved nutmeg and vodka in a large bottle.

Seal the bottle and let it stand. The mixture needs at least four days to properly infuse, but it can be left for up to three months for a more intense flavor. Since this was my first attempt at an infusion, I let it stand for one week.

Then came the moment of truth. I poured a round of pumpkin spice-infused vodka shots for my friends and me. The consensus: It was delicious. It was like autumn in a shot glass. Granted, I have never infused anything before in my life, but I was proud of the result.

So, if you would like to get into the spirit of the fall season, give pumpkin spice mixed drinks a chance. You won’t regret it.

Diversions

Consider This with Dr. Rick

by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”

— Steve Jobs There were a lot of great bits of wisdom the brilliant and successful Steve Jobs offered the world. Young or not so young, at the start of your career or winding up…this little pearl applies to all of us.

So often we are unconsciously guided toward succeeding in ways that attempt to fulfill the unfulfilled dreams of our parents, grandparents or other authority figures. Why does the professional baseball player abruptly give it all up at the peak of his game? Why would the brilliant musician sabotage her bright future? When we arrive at the epiphany that what we’re doing isn’t a fit, isn’t the life we want to be living, consciously or unconsciously we’ll create any number of ways to bring it to a halt.

It doesn’t take courage to go along with the flow when the flow isn’t for you. It takes denial. Courage stands up and speaks loudly and clearly, proclaiming intention, authenticity, and the commitment to being exactly who you are. chattanoogapulse.com • october 16-22, 2014 • The Pulse • 27

Free Will Astrology LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 1936, Libran author F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote about the “crack-up” he had experienced years earlier. It included this tough realization: “I had been only a mediocre caretaker of most of the things left in my hands, even my talent.” Let’s use this as a seed for your oracle.

Have you been a good caretaker of your talent? Have you been a good caretaker for other things you are responsible for? Look within yourself and take inventory. If there’s anything lacking, now is an excellent time to raise your game.

If you’re doing pretty well, reward yourself.

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elevation

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): On a late summer day in 1666, scientist Isaac Newton was sitting under an apple tree in his mother’s garden in Lincolnshire, England. An apple fell off a branch and plummeted to the ground. A half-century later, he told his biographer that this incident inspired him to formulate the theory of gravity. Fast forward to the year 2010. Astronaut Piers Sellers got on the space shuttle Atlantis carrying a piece of Newton’s apple tree. He took it with him as he escaped Earth’s gravity on his trip to the International Space Station.

By my reading of the astrological omens, now would be an excellent time for you undertake a comparable gesture or ritual, Scorpio. With a flourish, update your relationship with an important point of origin.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Most birds don’t sing unless they are up high: either flying or perched somewhere off the ground. One species that isn’t subject to this limitation is the turnstone, a brightly mottled shorebird. As it strolls around beaches in search of food, it croons a tune that the Cornell Lab of Ornithology calls “a short, rattling chuckle.”

In the coming weeks, this creature deserves to be your mascot—or your power animal, as they say in New Age circles. Why? I doubt that you will be soaring. You won’t be gazing down at the human comedy from a detached location high above the fray. But I expect you will be well-grounded and goodhumored—holding your own with poise amidst the rough-and-tumble. As you ramble, sing freely!

rob brezsny

the arrival and full bloom of two stellar X-factors.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Problems that remain persistently insoluble should always be suspected as questions asked in the wrong way,” said philosopher Alan Watts. You have either recently made a personal discovery proving that this is true, or else you will soon do so. The brain-scrambling, heart-whirling events of recent weeks have blessed you with a host of shiny new questions. They are vibrant replacements for the tired old questions that have kept at least one of your oldest dilemmas locked in place.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “There is for everyone some one scene, some one adventure, some one picture that is the image of his secret life,” said Irish poet William Butler Yeats. I invite you to identify that numinous presence, Pisces. And then I urge you to celebrate and cultivate it. Give special attention to it and pay tribute to it and shower love on it. Why? Because now is an excellent time to recognize how important your secret life is to you—and to make it come more fully alive than it has ever been.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): New York City’s Diamond District is home to over 2,000 businesses that buy and sell jewelry. Throughout the years, many people have lost bits of treasure here. Valuable bits of gold and gems have fallen off broken necklaces, earrings, watches, and other accessories.

Now an enterprising man named Raffi Stepnanian is cashing in. Using tweezers and a butter knife, he mines for the rich pickings that are packed in the mud of sidewalk cracks and gutters. “The percentage of gold out here on the street is greater than the amount of gold you would find in a mine,” he says.

I’d love to see you get inspired by his efforts, Aries. Dig for treasure in unlikely places where no one else would deign to look.

posedly makes a rabbit materialize from a hat or an assistant disappear in a puff of smoke. There’s no real sorcery. It’s an illusion perpetrated by the magician’s hocus-pocus.

But “abracadabra” has a less wellknown history as an incantation used by real magicians to generate authentic wizardry. It can be traced back to Gnostic magi of the second century. They and their successors believed that merely speaking the word aloud evokes a potency not otherwise available. I invite you to experiment with this possibility, Gemini. Say “abracadabra” to boost your confidence and enhance your derring-do. You already have more power than usual to change things that have been resistant to change, and intoning some playfully ferocious “abracadabras” may put your efforts over the top.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The 17th-century writer Rene Descartes is regarded as the father of modern philosophy and the founder of rationalism. His famous catchphrase is a centerpiece of the Western intellectual tradition: “I think, therefore I am.” Here’s what I find amusing and alarming about the man: He read almost nothing besides the Bible and the work of Catholic theologian Thomas Aquinas. He said that classic literature was a waste of time. Is that who we want at the heart of our approach to understanding reality? I say no.

In accordance with the astrological omens, I authorize you to instead adopt one or both of the following formulas: “I feel, therefore I am” or “I dream, therefore I am.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You can’t give what you don’t have. Here’s a corollary: You can sort of halfgive what you half-have, but that may lead to messy complications and turn out to be worse than giving nothing at all. So here’s what I recommend: Devote yourself to acquiring a full supply of what you want to give. Be motivated by the frustration you feel at not being able to give it yet. Call on your stymied generosity to be the driving force that inspires you to get the missing magic. When you’ve finally got it, give it.

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28 • The Pulse • october 16-22, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In 18 1987, a college freshman named

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Let’s discuss that thing you are eyeing and coveting and fantasizing about. My operative theory is that you can enjoy it without actually having it for your own. In fact, I think it will be best if you do enjoy it without possessing it. There’s an odd magic at play here. If this desired thing becomes a fixed part of your life, it may interfere with you attracting two future experiences that I regard as more essential to your development. My advice is to avoid getting attached to the pretty good X-factor so as to encourage

Mike Hayes was having trouble paying for his education at the University of Illinois. He appealed for help to the famous newspaper columnist Bob Greene, who asked each of his many readers to send Hayes a penny. The response was tidal. Although most of the ensuing donations were small, they added up to over $28,000—enough for Hayes to finance his degree. I encourage you to take a comparable approach in the coming weeks, Taurus: Ask for a little from a lot of different sources.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I suspect that one of your allies or loved ones will get caught in his or her own trap. The way you respond will be crucial for how the rest of the story plays out. On the one hand, you shouldn’t climb into the trap with them and get tangled up in the snarl. On the other hand, it won’t serve your long-term interests to be cold and unhelpful. So what’s the best strategy? First, empathize with their pain, but don’t make it your own. Second, tell the blunt truth in the kindest tone possible. Third, offer a circumscribed type of support that won’t compromise your freedom or integrity.

word “abracadabra” is a spell that Lon stage magicians utter at the climax of their tricks: the catalyst that sup-

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

LUKEN HOLDINGS POPS SERIES

BOSTON POPS TRIBUTE A Salute to Arthur Fiedler and John Williams

October 25, 2014 • 7:30pm Tivoli Theatre Bob Bernhardt, conductor Michael Chertock, piano Holly Mulcahy, violin

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ACROSS 1 Tree with needles 5 Bangladesh’s capital 10 Slanted type of type: abbr.

14 “The Dukes of Hazzard” deputy 15 ___ alphabet 16 Got in the pool, maybe 17 Prefix with “mom” 18 Foot holder 19 Andrews of sportscasting 20 You’re part of it, along with being in the Class Mammalia 23 Spike who directed “Crooklyn” 24 Stadium cheer 25 Cream of the crop 27 Abbr. on a cornerstone 29 Part of a crab 32 Part of a race 33 Jolly ___ 36 Additionally

37 You’re living in it, geologically 39 Some resorts 41 Armed agent 42 Place for cremains 43 Used to be 44 Classifies 48 Game with cards and callers 50 The shortest month?

52 Symbol of strength 53 You live in it, physically 58 ___ San Lucas 59 Kind of duck 60 Take ___ (go swimming) 61 Egyptian, probably 62 Love so much 63 Not yours 64 Lovett who loved Julia Roberts 65 “Steppenwolf” author 66 Gets on

one’s knees DOWN 1 Magazine with a famous crossword 2 4th and ___ 3 Probably soon 4 Class for intl. students 5 Unnecessary hassle 6 Suspicion 7 Cairo cross 8 About 2.2 pounds, for short 9 Computer brand 10 Perfect 11 Burrito outside 12 Takes to the skies 13 Spy novelist Deighton 21 Citified 22 “Do the ___” 26 Driving force 28 War god 29 Doing the dishes, say 30 Niihau necklaces 31 Missouri structure

34 One end of the Iditarod race 35 Nicholas II, e.g.

36 Woody Guthrie’s kid 37 He’d love to have you over for dinner 38 Class that’s simple to pass 39 Teacher for the day 40 ___ colors 43 Taipei pan 45 Tour worker 46 Difficult 47 Talks to online 49 Boston paper 50 Fort ___, Florida 51 See it the same way 54 “Uh-huh” 55 Too far to the left or right, as a field goal attempt 56 Fusses 57 Baby bleater 58 First name in Orioles history

Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0697

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chattanoogapulse.com • october 16-22, 2014 • The Pulse • 29 ChattanoogaHasCars.com

Trunkajunk, Cop Version Officer Alex’s cop car is a rollling collection of...well, just about everything imaginable

“

Going to have a myocardial infarction in a circus tent on the side of Shallowford Road? Rock it on out, sir: I’ve got an AED to the rear right-hand side.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alexteach

Just don’t let me get to my trunk.

Not a threat. Just a statement of fact.

With the passing of the venerable Crown Victoria comes the new Ford Taurus as the primary repository of “stuff” for ALEX a profession known for not knowing what you need until you need it. And like its ancestor…the Taurus provides many such options.

Closing down an interstate?

Not a problem…I have a halfdozen reflective two-foot-high traffic cones to the rear left.

Going to have a myocardial infarction in a hastily erected circus tent on the side of Shallowford Road? Rock it on out, sir: I’ve got an AED to the rear right-hand side. You may as well enjoy another rack of ribs while you wait.

Going to steal the contents of a semi-truck inside a large gated area sealed by a fence from the main road where I can’t get to you? Boom. I’ve got a master key (aka “bolt

cutters”) the height of a middle-school student parallel to the rear bumper up in there.

Allow me to join you.

I literally have no idea what to expect from one call to the next, but whatever it calls for, there’s a substantial TEACH chance I’m ready for it— thanks to me and my trunk.

It actually started out quite simply: I needed a place to sit.

Nothing says “longterm” like taking a young, high-strung person and endlessly preparing them for the worst case scenario society has to offer in the way of danger, then placing them in charge of a clipboard for up to eight hours on end on a lonely crime scene.

I didn’t need the AED or a master key on those scenes; I needed a damn chair, and so by the next shift, that’s exactly what I had tucked into the back of my trunk.

And on that next crime scene, while comfortably seated, I had two more needs: To eat, and to pee. The world was

On The Beat

my urinal (an entirely separate column for another time when you’re ready for it), best I couldn’t so easily create food, so by the next shift, I had that covered as well.

Water was easy, but the little powdery things you pour into them for variety in flavoring was something unheard of until I prepped for it. And the beef stew and raviolis? My hunger wasn’t just abated, it was hunted down and executed thanks to the amazing advent of the pop-top lid. Silverware?

Boom.

In possession by the disposable dozen—because what’s a meal if you’re having to eat it on two nasty “crime scene” fingers digging two-thirds of the way down an unheated can of whatever?

But it doesn’t stop at the basics of traffic and crime-scene details. Sarin gas on the menu?

Well, welcome to the 21st century.

For a time in my trunk, I had Mark I auto injectors for an atropine cocktail, should I need one ordered up. Nicolas Cage at the end of “The Rock”, waving the green flares and sticking himself in the thighs with a miracle drug?

Boom. I had that. (OK, not the flares, just the auto-injectors.) Thanks, Saddam Hussein.

You complete us.

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30 • The Pulse • october 16-22, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

brewer media everywhere. every day.

Say it wasn’t nerve gas, but a car down a steep embankment in the rain with an injured child? Hello, 50 feet of rope.

I coiled you up in there for a reason after all. And to cut the engine oil and blood that may have accumulated, there was my half gallon of Purell with the pump handle on top to get through the worst of it.

Yes, it was more than an office, that Crown Vic. It was a warehouse for mobile Doomsday prepping long, long before that was a topic on the Discovery Channel. Because who better to expect Doomsday than a cop? And all this has been listed before I even got to the contents of the black Pelican case strangely nicknamed the “Box of Death”. (I told you not to let me get to my trunk at the beginning of this, after all.)

You need service? I deliver.

And when I do, I come fully prepared, or as close as I can be. But if you mess with me, consider the stuff adorning my belt, and if that’s enough? Just pray you don’t see me ambling towards the rear of my car.

I mean—unless you’re hungry or need a seat or are concerned about biohazard and chemical exposures, of course, because in the orange bag I have the neatest suit and mask and…and…and…

chattanoogapulse.com • october 16-22, 2014 • The Pulse • 31