The Pulse 11.44 » October 30, 2014

The Pulse

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

OCTOBER 30, 2014

things that go bump in the night The Art of the Storyteller

By Finn Bille with Cody Maxwell

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The Pulse CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole

Contents

October 30, 2014 Volume 11, Issue 44

Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Contributors David Traver Adolphus • Finn Bille Rob Brezsny • Madeline Chambliss John DeVore • Mike Dobbs • Janis Hashe Matt Jones • Cody Maxwell Marc T. Michael • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib • Alex Teach Editorial Interns Maggie Hanna • Zach Nicholson Rachael Poe Cartoonists & Illustrators Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

Features

Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISING

4 BEGINNINGS: Stamping out family homelessness at AT&T Field.

Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Craig Glass • Rick Leavell • Lisa McVay Chester Sharp • Stacey Tyler

10 AIRBAG: Are you guilty of making any of these 10 driving mistakes?

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

6

More Than ‘Once Upon A Time’

The people who flock to ghost story-tellings often do not realize that live telling of stories without ghosts can offer experiences as vivid and strong—and often more believable and engaging.

12

Speaking The Universal Language

Usually I tell you about a band, artist or album you might enjoy.

This week is going to be a little different. I’d like to tell you a story, although music is at the heart of it.

18

The Times, They Were a-Changin’

Tony Kushner’s plays don’t skirt complex topics—they thrive on them. The multiple award-winner of “Angels in America” tackled race relations in 1999’s Tony Award-nominated “Caroline, or Change.”

16 REVIEWS: Vashti Bunyan inspires, Vandou Game grooves.

22 SPIRITS: Three recipes for ruminspired fall favorites.

24 SCREEN: “The Book of Life” is gorgeous Mexican folklore.

26 MIXOLOGY: Try these simple methods for making tasty mixers.

28 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY 29 JONESIN’ CROSSWORD

You complete us.

30 ON THE BEAT: Officer Alex finds philosophy is for the dogs.

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chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 3

news • views • rants • raves

BEGINNINGS

updates » CHATTANOOGApulse.com facebook/chattanoogapulse EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Experience the Cardboard Condo Stamping out family homelessness this Saturday at AT&T Field

“

Participants will build a house in ‘Box City’ for the night, using a provided cardboard box and materials.”

Most of us are so accustomed to having a roof over our heads, clothes, food and even heating and air conditioning that living without them is unimaginable. Unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky.

The work homeless shelters and soup kitchens do is amazing, but one organization, Family Promise of Greater Chattanooga, stands out in my book due to their mission to work exclusively with families, meaning a parent and a child 18 or younger.

“Families stay together at night, which in my mind is a really big deal,” said FPGC board member Nina Ventra.

Ventra explained that other shelters often separate family members into gender-

specific dorms, but Family Promise partners with 51 local churches for sleeping arrangements to keep families together, reducing the family’s stress and anxiety levels during their stay.

During the day, families have access to the FPGC Day Center on Baldwin Street. Ventra emphasized that the center is a place designed for children. In addition to a kitchen, laundry MADELINE room, and living CHAMBLISS room, the Day Center has an outdoor playground, playroom, nursery and a computer lab where kids can work on their homework after school.

Family Promise doesn’t just provide a safe place for children and a place where families can stay together; the organization is a stay-in program, meaning families stay until they no longer need help.

“Everybody’s situation is different. We have to take a look at it and evaluate it,” said Ventra.

She explained that every case manager working with a family looks to find sustainability in their life, including finding them a suitable house, assisting them with job searches, and offering parenting classes if needed, so that families are able to get back on their feet—and stay there.

To continue helping both homeless and nearhomeless families, as well as raise community awareness about family homelessness, Family Promise is holding its sixth annual Camp Out to Stamp Out Family Homelessness at 5 p.m. on Saturday, Nov. 1 through 7 a.m. on Sunday,

News

4 • The Pulse • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Nov. 2, at AT&T Field.

Participants will build a house in “Box City” for the night, using a provided cardboard box and materials, and eat their meals at a soup kitchen. Additionally, there will be a scavenger hunt, games, crafts, music and a contest for the best box house built. People may also bring blankets, pillows, and sleeping bags for their home and any materials they wish to use decorate their box, provided they are on the list of approved items available online after registration.

Those interested in participating should visit familypromisechattanooga.com to purchase tickets. There is an additional $10 fee for entering the contest.

All proceeds from the event will benefit FPGC. So spend a night in someone else’s world and gain a better understanding of the difficulties millions of Americans suffer through every day. With a little support and community involvement, we can become one step closer to helping FPGC stamp out family homelessness in Chattanooga.

•••• For more information about Camp Out and FPGC including how to donate or volunteer, visit familypromisechattanooga.com.

REJOICE!

EdiToon

by Rick Baldwin

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Head of the Hooch is Back, Bigger Than Ever With over 2,000 boats racing over two days, the Head of the Chattahoochee (or Head of the Hooch for short) is one of the world’s largest rowing regattas.

This year, on Nov. 1 and 2, Head of the Hooch will celebrate its 10th year in Chattanooga.

More than 9,000 rowers from over 200 different organizations will participate. In past years, teams from as far away as Canada, Germany, Sweden,

and Australia have rowed on the Tennessee. All told, Head of the Hooch has the largest number of entries per event of any major regatta.

The race itself is a 5,000-meter (3.1 mile) course on the Tennessee River with a finish line at Ross’s Landing park. The first race was organized in 1981 by the Atlanta Rowing Club and had 500 competitors. Since then, the regatta has grown in size and

IN THIS ISSUE

Finn Bille This week’s cover story is by storyteller Finn Bille.

Finn has told stories since the 1980s when he taught English in Denmark. He has performed at many festivals in Tennessee, Georgia and Alabama. He performed his original story “From Bacon

popularity each year.

If you plan to be one of the 15,000 spectators this weekend, some good viewing locations include the Walnut Street Bridge, Coolidge Park, and the 21st Century Riverfront. Another great way to follow the race is on the pedestrian/bike path along the river, and the best place to view the finish line is from the grandstands at Ross’s Landing.

The first boat will launch at 8:40 a.m. on Saturday, Nov. 1. To see a full race schedule and course map, visit headofthehooch.org.

— Rachael Poe

Madeline Chambliss Fat to Peanut Butter: An Immigrant’s Tale”at the 2013 conference of the National Storytelling Network in Richmond, Virginia. His CD, Marzipan: Stories with Music, with Rick Davis on the hammered dulcimer, includes two stories from his childhood in Denmark and a fantasy-filled story of Finn’s work as a poet.

His CD and book of poems are for sale at Winder Binder Gallery and Bookstore, 40 Frazier Avenue, Chattanooga.

This week’s feature story on “Camp Out to Stamp Out Family Homelessness” is by Madeline Chamliss. Having graduated from The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga in May, Madeline finds herself figuring out adulthood one clumsy, awkward moment at

a time. She joined The Pulse staff in January as an editorial intern, loved her time at the office so much that she never left and is now a contributing writer. With a Bachelor of Arts in Communication, she aspires to become an author, though the genre and subject material are unknown. In the mean time, she enjoys traveling, writing, spending time with her friends and family, and is still waiting for her acceptance letter to Hogwarts.

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chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 5

COVER STORY

Storytelling: Much More Than ‘Once Upon A Time’ The art of storytelling is flourishing in Chattanooga

By Finn Bille

S

hivers, shocks, and spine-tingles.

The ghost stories that produce these reactions are popular at this time of year, but the people who flock to ghost story-tellings often do not realize that live telling of stories without ghosts can offer experiences as vivid and strong—and often more believable and engaging.

At the National Storytelling Festival in Jonesborough, Tennessee a few weeks ago, Donald Davis engaged the audience of over a thousand listeners, drawing them into his story of attending school for the first time. His story reminded us of ourselves, and evoked feelings of anticipation and dread that we had long ago forgotten, but that Davis now helped us experience together.

In the Chattanooga area, you can have similar experiences at the Camp House, at Charles & Myrtle’s Coffee House, in area libraries and at various festivals and celebrations.

Chattanooga storyteller Vincent Ivan Phipps promises and delivers “fright and delight” to his ghost-tour audience in his stories that he calls “fresh, frightening and freakishly fun.” Phipps also tells his moving story of how his father was the first black person to buy a ticket and enter the Tivoli Theatre as a patron. Chattanooga storyteller and playwright Jim Pfitzer creates and performs stories that inspire empathy and personal insight as well as delight. Cleveland storyteller Judy Baker provides listening mo6 • The Pulse • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

ments of surprise and revelation as well as pleasant entertainment Storytelling at its best gives us experiences we cannot get from television or even from books, because a living human being speaks and gestures, relating directly to us.

Janice Brooks-Headrick of the Smokey Mountain Storytellers remembers how Janette Stevens involved the audience so thoroughly in her story that they could not applaud when she finished. They were totally engaged in the story of a family struggling to get to their relatives in bad weather on Christmas Day, and failing. BrooksHeadrick says that everyone in the audience experienced the story vividly on their own terms. They were mesmerized by the teller and their own memories to the point of “applause paralysis.” Finally after a minute of introspective silence, the audience applauded wildly.

Brooks-Headrick says, “Shared laughter brings the audience together.

Other feelings do too. For me, it’s the connectedness that makes storytelling fascinating.”

The Good Wife

“Storytelling at its best gives us experiences we cannot get from television or even from books, because a living human being speaks and gestures, relating directly to us.”

When Jim Pfitzer took the Camp House stage at River City Sessions, he adjusted the microphone. He let his audience settle. With emotional intensity, Pfitzer began his original story, “On Chestnut Ridge”: “I was in shock—complete disbelief.”

Kemmer Anderson, retired McCallie School teacher, responded to this story in which a majestic American chestnut tree plays a central role.

Anderson’s engagement deepened as Pfitzer blended in the love story of the couple who came to live next to the great tree, only to find that it had died. Anderson says Pfitzer conveyed the grief and tragedy of the loss when he said that only a few years before, the people in the mountains had been certain that “a family can’t starve on the Ridge” because the chestnut trees would always provide ample food.

Anderson concludes that the story powerfully conveys the larger metaphor of global climate change that he compares to the blight that wiped out nearly all American chestnut trees in the early 20th century. “We are the blight and we don’t know it,” he said.

“Jim Pfitzer nailed it. It needs to be heard.”

For Judy Baker of the Cleveland Storytelling Guild, the magic of storytelling happens when she tells the story of Jack going to work.

Jack, having been told that he must keep his pay in his pocket, comes home with wet and greasy pockets—

By Cody Maxwell

because he had been paid with milk.

Baker hears a little giggle from the audience, their brows go up, and some lean back as if to say, “I’m with you and I am enjoying the story,” or “Now that I hear how absurd it is, I can enjoy it as pure entertainment.” When the telling is going well, Baker says, it is as though she can sense the the audience feeling and saying “We are with you and here we go on this ride together.” Then audience and teller share a warm feeling of story enjoyment. The teller relaxes and performs with greater intimacy and intensity.

Ginnie Sams, prominent arts advocate, poet and storyteller, cited without prompting my performance at the Carter Presidential Library. I hesitated to include her remarks, but I overcame my false modesty. In my story about immigrating to America at age 11, I am leaving the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. when I find a penny. I recognize Lincoln on the penny, then I put it in my pocket where I have been carrying a krone coin with King Christian X on it all the way from Denmark.

Ginnie reports that goosebumps popped up when I concluded the story: “In my pocket, President Lincoln clinked together with King Christian the Tenth of Denmark,” because it expressed powerfully the precise moment when I connected America and Denmark. >> P. 9

To hear him that way was awful. He would not have done this.

I loved him more than any other. He was the man I could never leave, the one who was my home. No matter where we were, what we had or didn’t have, wherever he was; there was my home. He was always so strong, but his cries that night were terrible. He was hurting. Something had him, was taking him. He did not do what they said he did.

I was lying in bed. I said my prayers, thanking God for the life we had. I prayed for my husband and I soon fell asleep, but woke in the night to the sound of my husband crying for help outside our bedroom window.

My husband never cried, so I ran, in my nightgown, in bare feet across the grass. I slipped and fell, but rose and ran again. I called for him but could not find him. There was no moon or stars, just the cold blackness and his pitiful cries for help. I ran, crying out and promising to help him. I would have done anything, but I could not find him. He was not there. His voice howled in dark pain, crying for me. I begged him to tell me where to find him.

A wind blew through the trees and the leaves laughed. Branches moaned like a violin. I thought of the time I saw an old couple dancing alone in a dry yellow field. The moon peeked from behind a cloud, giggling, then disappeared again. The blackness spun, the sky bellowed laughter over me and, I am in the basement, my husband’s voice whispered. I felt his breath, it moved my hair. I smelled his mouth, it was him. But he was not there.

I ran to our basement. I shone a light, and there he was, hanging. He hung from a beam beneath our bedroom floor. His feet still turned, inches from the ground. I cut him down and held him, but he was gone.

He was my husband, my friend and my home. He did not do this. We prayed together. When he would not pray, I prayed for him. I held him in soft nights.

There was something out there. Something in the night took him away. There’s something when the wind blows that got inside him, the way things laugh out there, I know. He would not have done this to me.

I was a good wife.

For another original Halloween story, visit us online at chattanoogapulse.com

chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 7

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“Leave the television. Seek out one of these events. Participate in the ancient, shared and universally human experience of storytelling.”

Recently on a trip to Alaska with the Road Scholar program, I told the Inuit story, “The Eagle’s Gift” to a group of eager listeners at the Denali Education Center.

Before I started, I scanned the group arranged in a semicircle, making eye contact with many of them. When all were silent, I intoned slowly and ritualistically, “A long, long time ago…” The audience leaned forward in an atmosphere of magical anticipation.

Propelled by their attentive support, I told the ancient story of animals and humans from the North Slope of Alaska, adding a mythical dimension to our study of Alaska.

All over the world from the origin of the human race, storytellers have woven their magic for themselves and their audiences.

Do yourself a favor: Leave the television. Seek out one of these events. Participate in the ancient, shared and universally human experience of storytelling.

You can experience that magic in the Chattanooga area by attending one of the following storytelling events: Nov. 1 and 2, 1-3 p.m. at Cloudland Canyon State Park, Cloudland Canyon Arts and Crafts Festival.

Nov. 14, 7:30 p.m. (and monthly) at the Camp House. Mike Gray presents and tells stories as part of River City Sessions.

Nov. 15, 7 p.m. The Cleveland Storytelling Guild will produce its

Tellabration at the First Presbyterian Church in Cleveland (Tellabration is celebrated by many storytelling organizations in November.)

Dec. 21, 6 p.m. The Joseph Campbell Roundtable will celebrate the winter solstice with storytelling at Grace Episcopal Church.

Feb. 6, 2015, 7-9 p.m. The Cleveland Storytelling Guild will present Ocoee StoryFest featuring Kim Weitkamp at the Museum Center at Five Points.

Mar. 10, 2015, 7 p.m. The Chattanooga Writers Guild will present a special program on storytelling at the Public Library.

Apr. 18, 2015 Storytelling will be a part of Little Owl Festival at Audobon Acres.

Now that Barking Legs Theater has re-opened, look for programs there that include storytelling.

Daily ghost tours with storytelling continue in Chattanooga, starting at 7:30 p.m. at the corner of Market and Second streets.

Finn Bille’s Scheduled Performances in November 2014 Nov. 1 and 2, 1 p.m. at the Cloudland Canyon Arts and Crafts Festival Nov. 14, 7:30 p.m., poetry reading at the River City Sessions at the Camp House Nov. 15, 7 p.m., First Presbyterian Church in Cleveland for Cleveland Storytelling Guild Tellabration chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 9

10 Stupid Driving Mistakes Our automotive expert suggests you own up if you’re guilty of any of these

“

Ms. First One Into The Intersection and Mr. Last One Through The Yellow have a date with destiny.”

David Traver Adolphus is a freelance automotive researcher who recently quit his full time job writing about old cars to pursue his lifelong dream of writing about old AND new cars. He welcomes the inevitable and probably richly deserved kvetching about Airbag and anything else on Twitter as @proscriptus.

To relax in the evenings, Letting someone coming I sometimes like to watch the other way turn in front Russian car dashcam vidof you is even worse. The eos on YouTube. While the problem is that other drivRussian standard of driving ers don’t know why you’re is even worse than our own, stopping, and your car prethey repeatedly do the same vents them from seeing stupid things that I also see what’s going on. here.

I’m not 2. Passing talking about wrong. texting or Do not pass DAVID TRAVER d r i v i n g on the right.

ADOLPHUS drunk.

It’s Do not go the things around somepeople do who aren’t considone who is turning, or even ered sociopaths that bother slowing down suspiciously me. Here are some of them: near a turn (see #4). Do not pass in a no-passing zone.

1. Letting someone Do not pass multiple cars out/letting someone at once. Imagine this: You, turn. responsible motorist, are at I have personally witthe head of a line of cars, nessed two accidents when waiting politely to turn left. a kindhearted moron lets Like most people you don’t someone into traffic from think to look for someone a driveway or side street. coming down the road in

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10 • The Pulse • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

the wrong lane, but that’s what the person passing a line of traffic does. Wait 13 freaking seconds, go around safely and someone still has their mommy tonight.

3. Turning wrong.

Turn left from the left lane and right from the right lane. Do nothing else.

Even when you are turning correctly, watch out for the brain-dead mulyak who’s passing you on the shoulder or passing in a no-passing zone (#2). Learn to check your mirrors before turning and always watch for cars going the wrong way at high speed. And use your signals.

4. Disrespecting trucks.

Most accidents involving tractor trailers happen at low speed, when a car comes up beside them in a turn. They cannot see you at all. A second class of dopes don’t realize that trucks are heavy and can’t stop or turn on a dime, so they pull in front to turn and other dumb things.

Someone was rear-ended by

an LPG gas tanker literally outside my office when I was writing this. I’m not too proud to say I screamed and ran away.

5. Riding a motorcycle irresponsibly.

Lane-splitting may be legal in some places, but no one in a car is looking for something coming up the line between them and another car, or on the outside line. You MUST wear head-to-toe hi-vis colors, full armor or leathers, boots, gauntlets and a full-face helmet at all times if you want to survive the next 72 hours. Motorcycles do not belong in any kind of American high-speed traffic—if you’re a rider, you know this or are repressing it. Sorry.

Save it for the backroads.

6. Bad tires and other equipment.

You would not believe how many people slide gracefully off the road and into a feeding tube because they’re on bald tires. Hydroplaning is more likely

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Whatever you do, don’t be this guy.

the faster you’re going, when a gentle curve in the dry suddenly becomes the last moment of your life. Put in 5,000K (bright white) headlamp bulbs unless you already have HID headlamps and buy expensive wiper blades. And for the love of Pete get your shocks checked. Shocks are what keep your tires in contact with the road.

7. First one/last one through the light.

Ms. First One Into The Intersection and Mr. Last One Through The Yellow have a date with destiny. A yellow light means “Stop if you are able.”

Do that and let someone else go first when it turns green, so they can absorb a T-boning from an Escalade.

8. Failure to yield.

Two of you are trying to occupy the same space. Two of you are stubborn idiots, and now there’s a fender-bender tying up traffic for everyone. Now idiot #3 is on the way at 70 mph and is about to make Ball of Flame #4 out of all of you when he plows into this mess. Here’s the rule for merging in

slow traffic: Take turns, as you learned in kindergarten. In fast traffic, maintain a constant, consistent speed and let mergers adapt to you.

9. Failure to accelerate.

There are times when speed is your friend. Like merging onto the highway—the idea is for you to get up to highway speed on the onramp and enter traffic at the same speed it’s going.

Don’t enter slow and become a rolling roadblock or creep down the ramp.

Gird your loins and hit the gas.

10. Refusal to accept the consequences of your actions.

Have you ever seen (or been) someone stopped just past an exit? You missed your exit. Accept it, go to the next exit and no not back up. If you’re about to miss your turn, do not brake hard, cross a lane and try to make it.

Do not make a U-turn. Unless you’re taking someone with a collapsed lung to the hospital, the two extra miles (or 20...I once went 46 miles to make it back to my exit) you have to go are not going to ruin your life.

Dying will.

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chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 11

MUSIC SCENE

Speaking The Universal Language A story of how music cuts across all barriers

Rock It On Out In Ringgold

U

Tir Asleen, SRVVLST and others get heavy on Monday Tir Asleen and SRVVLST are hosting a split release show on Monday, Nov. 3, at the Cloud Springs Deli in Ringgold. The split release is a 4-track EP that features new songs from four bands—Tir Asleen, SRVVLST, Spooky Action Space Captain, and Pride and Ego Down. Like most of the shows at Cloud Springs Deli, this one has a long lineup of locals for you to listen to all night. Besides Tir Asleen and SRVVLST, there are five others—Young and Heartless, Eight Days from December, Messes, Leaving, Secret Stuff.

The best part about the EP and the show is the varied locality of these bands. Tir Asleen is nearby in Georgia, SRVVLST is from Ohio, Spooky Action Space Captain is from Illinois, and Pride and Ego Down comes all the way from Germany. Though

Spooky Action Space Captain and Pride and Ego Down aren’t playing the release show, we will still see bands from Pennsylvania, Virginia, and Kentucky. Pretty good for seven bucks.

Everything at this show is heavy rock, and you can be sure that every band will perform with killer energy.

I’ve seen Tir Asleen multiple times, and they always force you to feel something. So come out to Cloud Springs and support the split release because variety is exactly what our music scene needs.

— Zach Nicholson Tir Asleen, SRWLST, more Cloud Springs Deli 4907 Cloud Springs Rd., Ringgold, GA. cloudspringsdeli.com

thu10.30

fri10.31

sat11.01

PRE-HALLOWEEN

HALLOWEEN

POST-HALLOWEEN

Sickness in the System, Hellmouth 666, Minor 9, Deconbrio

Marbin, Smooth Dialects, Opposite Box

Nude Beach, Divorce Horse, Future Virgins, F.A.G.

Why wait for Halloween to get your metal on?

10 p.m.

Sluggo’s North 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224

The hottest spot to be Halloween night is right here at the Pint.

9 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com

Another great Saturday night at JJ’s Bohemia.

10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

12 • The Pulse • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

sually this space is reserved to tell you about a band, artist or album you might enjoy. This week is going to be a little different. I’d like to tell you a story, although music is at the heart of it.

Music MARC T. MICHAEL

“

He started to sing and though I could not understand a word of what he said, a lump rose in my throat.”

This story begins at the Local Performance Hall after it had moved to Cherokee Boulevard. We had been playing weekly shows there for a couple of years and had, as a matter of course, seen some interesting characters come and go. One night, I noticed a fellow I had never seen before sitting at the very back of the bar, as far away from everyone else as he could be. He was a tall fellow and despite looking exceptionally road-worn and tired, you could see that he had once been a powerful man.

He never spoke as far as I could tell and the only time I saw him smile was when we were doing one of our profanity-laden call-and-response tunes where the audience gets to hurl invectives at the band. That amused him. He was there every week, though; he became something of a silent fixture. One night, I saw him sitting in his usual spot—and there was a woman sitting with him.

Truth be told she appeared as roadworn as he, but it was nice to see that for once he wasn’t alone.

We took our set break and he approached me. I can’t imagine what it took for him to get up the nerve to do it, given his painfully shy demeanor, but he asked in a heavy Russian accent, “Could I borrow guitar for moment please? I want to play song for girlfriend!” He smiled as he said it and

I smiled back and said, “Sure thing, man.”

The big, rough-looking Russian took my guitar and after a few false starts his fingers began to glide over the strings, coaxing out some of the most beautiful, haunting, tragic music I have ever heard. He started to sing and though I could not understand a word of what he said, a lump rose in my throat.

When he was finished he thanked me half a dozen times and handed the guitar back.

I insisted he play more, would not take “no” for an answer, and when our set break was over, I brought him to the stage. He was nervous, and so used to being ignored that I was afraid the attention was going to make him balk, but he sat down and began to play. For the next ten minutes or so the usually rowdy bar was completely silent save for the man and his music.

When it was over a crowd surrounded him, there was praise and smiles and pats on the back and drinks were bought and the joy in his face is still one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen.

Sometime after that, someone, I

honest music

don’t know who, but bless them for this, gave him his own guitar and from then until almost the day he died, Igor, the big Russian homeless man, could be found playing on the bridge or in front of Jax Liquor Store.

Music knows no borders. Igor said to me once as we were playing together, “Music is universal language, no?” Music crossed a

language barrier, a cultural barrier, a social barrier and it gave a poor, homeless, Russian immigrant a chance for a much-deserved taste of respect and admiration.

He was a tremendously skilled musician and I (and many others) might never have known that had it not been for a chance encounter in a bar one night.

Igor passed away a few years ago, and at the wake I was presented with his guitar, which still sits in my office.

It reminds me of him and it reminds of what music really is, or can be. Is there a moral to the story? There are several that I can see, but I’ll leave it to you to find your own. I didn’t set out to impart a moral anyway; I just wanted to tell you about a man who was a wonderful musician a wonderful human being and a great friend who spent too many years homeless and invisible to most people.

A man named Igor.

Butch Ross Tackles The Classics

The incomparable Butch Ross, a man of many talents with a command of many styles, will be demonstrating his classical chops at the Camp House on Nov. 10. The “Maestro of the Appalachian” dulcimer will be joined by a string quartet as well as a number of friends, including classical guitarist Hara Paper and flautist Trish Ferrell Wileman. Jessica Nunn of Soul Mechanic will be leading the string quartet.

The show will feature a mix of classical and contemporary composers: Beethoven, Bach, Reich and Meyer are all on the bill, as well as a number of selections from Ross’s own catalog. Regarding his choice of instrument Ross has this to say: “After all this time, I’m still constantly surprised by the breadth and versatility of the mountain dulcimer. To me, the instrument isn’t a simple one; it’s an instrument that is devastatingly efficient. I’m looking forward to the opportunity to show off what it can do in a classical setting.”

The show is at 7 p.m., Nov. 10 at the Camp House, 1427 Williams Street. This is a free concert—although donations are very —MTM much appreciated.

local and regional shows

SPECIAL HALLOWEEN TRIPLE FEATURE! Marbin, Smooth Dialects and Opposite Box Friday, Halloween Night, October 31st, 9pm Costume Contest with Cash & Prizes $12 at the door, $10 if you wear a costume

$3 NEWCASTLE PINTS DURING THURSDAY SHOWS

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * facebook.com/TheHonestPint

chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 13

LIVE MUSIC OCT/NOV

ROCKY HORROR LIVE THU 9p 30 with SCARLETT LOVE CONSPIRACY

30 THE COMMUNICATORS FRI 9p 31 SAT ARPETRIO 9:30p 1 UPTOWN BIG BAND TUE 8p 4 MARLOW DRIVE WED 7p 5 SEVEN HANDLE CIRCUS THU 9p 6 HOT DAMN

YMSB AFTER SHOW PARTY

THU 11p

THAT 90’S HALLOWEEN SHOW!

with SKYMATIC & SOL SERMON

GET OUT YOUR DANCING SHOES

BLACKWATER STILL, DONNA HOPKINS BLUEGRASS WITH AN ATTITUDE!

11.7 JERRY GARCIA BAND COVER BAND 11.8 FLY BY RADIO 11.12 KALOB GRIFFEN BAND

COMING SOON

DEPARTURE

A TRIBUTE TO JOURNEY

RUBIK'S GROOVE ALL THE HITS OF THE 80'S

FRI 10p

SAT 10p

14

15

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

MUSIC CALENDAR

CHATTANOOGA

Yonder Mountain String Band

thursday10.30 CSO Lunchtime Concert Series 11:30 a.m.

Warehouse Row 1110 Market St. chattanoogasymphony.org Live Jazz 6 p.m.

The Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Live Bluegrass 6:30 p.m.

Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 702-7300 Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m.

The Camp House 1427 Williams St. thecamphouse.com Ryan Oyer 7 p.m.

1885 Grill 3914 St. Elmo Ave. 1885grill.com Sarah Shafer 7 p.m.

Covenant College 14049 Scenic Hwy. covenant.edu Jesse James, Tim Neal 7:30 p.m.

Mexi Wings VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 296-1073 Yonder Mountain String Band, The Larry Keel Experience 8 p.m.

Track 29

14 • The Pulse • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

1400 Market St. track29.co Mad Libre, Vena Cava, Gorgeous 9 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Scarlet Love Conspiracy, Hot Damn 9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Pack of Wolves, Medicine Tree, E.T. 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia

Pulse Pick: David Elliott Utilizing a melodic, fingerpicking style of acoustic guitar music combined with innovative, creative chord progressions, Elliott brings his own, unique approach.

David Elliot Sunday, 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com

231 E MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Sickness in the System, Hellmouth 666, Minor 9, Deconbrio 10 p.m.

Sluggo’s North 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224

friday10.31 Special Halloween Performance 11 a.m.

Miller Plaza 850 Market St. rivercitycompany.com/ new/miller-plaza Chattanooga Acoustic Showcase 7 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s

Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Husky Burnette 7 p.m.

Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com Paul Smith and The Sky High Band 8 p.m.

American Legion Post 81 227 James Asbury Ln. (423) 476-4451 Dakota Williams 8 p.m.

Applebee’s 5606 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 553-9203 Ray LaMontagne 8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com Power Players 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Amanda Rose 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Marbin, Smooth Dialects, Opposite Box 9 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Moon Taxi 9 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St.

MUSIC CALENDAR

Thousand Foot Krutch track29.co GLOW 9 p.m.

Lake Winnepesaukah 1703 Lakeview Dr. lakewinnie.com That 90’s Show, New Planet, Kids from Across the Street 9:25 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Bohannons, Thee Finks, Red Necklace 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Aunt Betty 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

saturday11.1 UTC Clarinet Ensemble performs “Symphonic Tales” 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. chattlibrary.org Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Paul Smith and The Sky High Band 8 p.m.

American Legion Post 81 227 James Asbury Ln. (423) 476-4451

Power Players 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Arpetrio, Skymatic, Sol Sermon 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Kara-Ory-Oke 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Nude Beach, Divorce Horse, Future Virgins, F.A.G. 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

sunday11.2 David Elliot 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Metro Musicians 2 p.m.

Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Brock McGuire Band 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga State Community College 4501 Amnicola Hwy. chattanoogastate.edu Lee University Percussion Ensemble

3 p.m.

Pangle Hall 1275 Stuart Rd. NE leeuniversity.edu Sunday Night Irish Music Jam Session 5 p.m.

Grocery Bar 1501 Long St. grocerybar.com Dr. Heather Small, Dr. SinHsing Tsai, Dr. Clint Schmitt 7:30 p.m.

UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. utc.edu Thousand Foot Krutch, We As Human, Righteous Vendetta 8 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co

monday11.3 UTC Trumpet Ensemble & Brass Quintet 7:30 p.m.

UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. utc.edu

tuesday11.4 Rick’s Blues Jam 7 p.m.

Folk School of Chattanooga 1200 Mountain Creek Rd. chattanoogafolk.com Tim Starnes, Davey Smith 7 p.m.

Sugar’s Downtown

507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com Chorale & Ladies of Lee 7:30 p.m.

Pangle Hall 1275 Stuart Rd. NE leeuniversity.edu Uptown Big Band 8 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

wednesday11.5 Marlow Drive, Donne Hopkins, Caney Village 7 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Dan Sheffield 7:30 p.m.

Sugar’s Downtown 507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com Dave Mason 7:30 p.m.

UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. utc.edu Brief Lives, Sickness in the System 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

901 Carter St Inside City Cafe 423-634-9191 Thursday, October 30: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, October 31: 9pm HALLOWEEN PARTY with Amanda Rose Saturday, November 1: 10pm Kara-Ory-Oke Tuesday, November 4: 7pm Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Join us on Facebook

This could be yours...

Buy. Sell.

Trade.

ChattanoogaHasCars.com

chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 15

Record Reviews

ERNIE PAIK

Love-filled Lullabies, Togolese Afro-funk Vashti Bunyan inspires, Vandou Game grooves P A I N T B A L L P R E S E N T S

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Vashti Bunyan Heartleap (Fat Cat/Dicristina Stair Builders)

W

atch the video of Vashti Bunyan’s 1965 single “Some Things Just Stick in Your Mind” and you’ll see a young, painfully shy singer standing alone, swaying awkwardly, clearly uncomfortable to be in the spotlight. We all want those we admire to find great success, but success is defined differently for everyone.

On some level, this writer is glad that Vashti Bunyan never made it as a pop star; glad that she took a horse-drawn cart to a commune in the late ’60s; extremely glad that she played by her own rules in the creative realm as a solo artist.

Her new album, Heartleap, is to serve as her third and final proper album, following the lithe, frolicking English folk of 1970’s Just Another Diamond Day and 2005’s excellent comeback Lookaftering.

Although it isn’t a prolific career, it is nearly a perfect one—there is much to be said about output restraint, favoring quality over quantity.

The serenity of Heartleap makes

16 • The Pulse • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Vaudou Game Apiafo (Hot Casa)

it an album-length lullaby, with Bunyan gently coaxing her singing out, softly and unassertively, and warmly disclosing her secrets.

Although meticulously assembled, the arrangements sound effortlessly understated and balanced, free from any jarring moments; typically built upon circular acoustic guitar note patterns, her songs bloom with pianos, strings and subtle synths that blend tastefully with the acoustic instruments.

Bunyan delves into the personal, covering the pitfalls of communication and disposed memories in “Gunpowder,” and her vivid dreamworld, like in “Jellyfish,” a reverie of being mistaken for a Portuguese Man o’ War while drowning in a blue dress. Perhaps the most affecting track is “Mother,” where Bunyan relates, as a child, eavesdropping on her mother dancing and singing alone, serving as a reflection regarding whether or not her mother was able to fully explore her artistic potential.

It seems appropriate that Bun-

yan’s own daughter, Whyn Lewis, created the cover painting for Heartleap, which then inspired Bunyan to create the album’s title track, a meta-love song with simple expressions of joy and comfort.

The superb Heartleap is a representation of giving and taking between generations, apt for an artist whose 50-year career has inspired devotees from multiple generations; for Bunyan, it closes one loop, but for others, it opens many others.

A

ny armchair ethnomusicologist will roll his eyes when hearing a painfully broad term like “African music” or “Brazilian music,” which is the equivalent of lumping every kind of music made in the United States over the last few centuries under the nearly meaningless term “American music.”

So, what gets an armchair ethnomusicologist salivating is the opposite—doing the deep dive and exploring those small subgenres that might otherwise fall

through the cracks of general cultural consciousness.

The album at hand, Apiafo, is the debut of the six-piece group Vaudou Game, led by singer/composer Peter Solo from the west African nation of Togo who has relocated to France. What we have here is not merely Afro-funk, but Togolese Afro-funk. And, apparently, it’s inspired by voodoo culture and incorporates the two primary musical scales used in the tradition of voodoo. So, the next time you are at your friendly neighborhood record store, just check the “Togolese Afro-funk Voodoo” section.

Admittedly unfamiliar with voodoo scales, ostensibly, to this writer, what Vaudou Game sounds like is an extra-funky cousin to Fela Kuti’s Afrobeat, with compelling, tight funk drumming, brass charges, prominent organ melodies and psychedelic flourishes, like wah-wah guitar.

Solo’s singing—in both English and the Mina language—is clearly influenced by Wilson Pickett and James Brown, to the point where one wonders if he is simply trying to imitate them with his shouts and exclamations of “yeah-uh!”; the momentum and fluidity of tracks such as “Pas Contente” owe a lot to Brown’s early ’70s work with Bootsy and Catfish Collins.

Upbeat funk grooves dominate on Apiafo, although there are diversions, like the spiritual “Ata Calling” with a slower pace that evokes the soul of an Otis Redding number.

Funk fans will eat this up, and it’s consistently a fun and stimulating album that’s well-recorded; however, this writer can’t shake the nagging feeling that it’s a little too clean-sounding, which is a minor problem.

As-is, it’s a fine debut, but with a little more grit, sweat and humidity, it could have been a monster of an album.

JOE

BLUES ROCK TITAN

BONAMASSA THE GUITAR EVENT OF THE YEAR!

MEMORIAL

Don’t Miss Our HALLOWEEN PARTY this Friday starting at 8:30 p.m.

Prizes for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place Best Costume and Best Couples Costume, plus SPOOKY DRINK SPECIALS!

1419 Chestnut Street Chattanooga, TN (423) 266-4240 www.tbonessportscafe.com

Monday-Wed 11a.m.-10p.m.

Thursday 11a.m.-11p.m.

Friday and Saturday 11a.m.-3a.m.

Sunday 1p.m.-9p.m.

AUDITORIUM

DEC 9

TICKETS ON SALE AT:

ETIX.COM

chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 17

ARTS SCENE

For The Times, They Were a-Changin’ Jennifer Bowman at work

Holding A Mirror Up to Themselves “Self-Reflection” at River Gallery explores three artists Drop by the River Gallery this November to see “Self-Reflection,” an exhibit featuring the work of three artists who explore the self in their bodies of work. Though their artistic styles vary, artists David Kidd, Patrick Dougherty and Jennifer Bowman all emphasize process in their work.

In his artist statement, Georgia artist David Kidd says, “At present, my work has become increasingly less calculated and more responsive to the creative process.” By following the creative process where it takes him, Kidd’s mixed-media paintings take on lives of their own but still reveal Kidd as the catalyst.

The work of Kentucky ceramicist Patrick Dougherty is a reflection of the artist himself. He forms each piece by hand, on the wheel, and then adds paint. The paint is another

expression of the self, and it is applied not “on” the form, but “of” the form.

Jennifer Bowman also hails from Kentucky. Her work is mixed media, and, as Bowman says in her artist statement, each painting is “formed through a process of layering, editing and re-editing...each layer leaving something behind.”

The exhibit will be available to view starting Nov. 1. There will be an opening reception on Nov. 7 from 6:30 p.m. until 8 p.m. at the River Gallery.

— Rachael Poe “Self-Reflection” River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (800) 374-2923 river-gallery.com

FRI10.31

SAT11.01

Sun11.02

gimme something

anything goes

museum time

Teen Trick Or Treating

Wide Open Floor

Free First Sunday

It’s the monthly gathering of creatives at the newly renovated Barking Legs Theater. Improv anything and everything on tap.

8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

Come see the great exhibits and permanent collection items at Chattanooga’s largest museum, all for free!

Noon Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org

Who says you have to stop trick-or-treating once you hit the teen years? Certainly not the fun-loving library folks.

9 a.m. - 6 p.m.

Chattanooga Library 1001 Broad Street (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org

18 • The Pulse • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Tony Kushner’s ‘Caroline, or Change’ questions assumptions and roles

T

ony Kushner’s plays don’t skirt complex topics—they thrive on them. The multiple award-winner of “Angels in America” tackled race relations in 1999’s Tony Awardnominated “Caroline, or Change.”

Arts janis hashe

“

Extraordinary people are not just the people who save the day. They are the unsung persons who sacrifice and pave the way for the people coming behind them.”

Set in 1963 in Lake Charles, Louisiana, the musical tells the story of Caroline, a black maid for a Jewish family, the Gellmans, whose young son, Noah, has strongly bonded with her. The civil rights movement is rocking the country, JFK is assassinated, and her own family and friends can’t understand her choice to “remain” a maid, but Caroline endures.

So why the choice of this challenging work for the reopening season of the Ripple Theater? “The Creative Leadership Board was having dinner and brainstorming about the types of shows we wanted to produce.

Each member had mentioned plays with social, religious, racial, sexual orientation, themes,” explains Mario DeAndre Brooks, the show’s assistant director and stage manager. “It’s important to me as a person and as an artist to not exclude voices from the table. So I proposed [“Caroline”], because I had come across it researching another show and just fallen in love with it. As it turned out, many board members are fans of Tony Kushner, and apparently, so am I.” For most young people, including some actors in the show, the era depicted in the play seems like ancient history, yet it was vital the cast understand its consequences.

“At our very first rehearsal, we had a talk about what was occurring in the country,” says Brooks. “I researched the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which takes place a year after

the start of ‘Caroline’…we talked about the Little Rock Nine, JFK as a martyr figure, who Bull Connor was, etc. I also compiled a list of books, films, documentaries, and musical theater from or about the time period.

It was important to me to not just give them sources of information about the African American experience, but also the southern Jewish experience with ‘The Atlanta Trilogy’—a series of plays and a musical written by Alfred Uhry. [We also discussed] the experience of being a single mother and a divorcee at that time.”

Asked how he sees the character of Caroline, Brooks doesn’t hesitate.

“Caroline is totally a hero. This woman has been through it all and she doesn’t have the luxury of falling apart. Extraordinary people are not just the people who save the day.

They are the unsung persons who sacrifice and pave the way for the people coming behind them.”

As a city, Chattanooga continues to struggle with racial and income inequality, so does this play have particular resonance here?

“Absolutely,” says Brooks. “In 2014, I still get stopped and questioned outside my apartment, because I ‘fit the description.’ I know exactly what it’s like to have to make do when your income is not enough to cover your needs. But it [‘Caroline’] also speaks to gender inequality. The Paycheck Fairness Act was voted down again for the third time since 2012. We’re voting whether or not abortion is protected by our state constitution.

These are not new issues.”

As usual, in rehearsal, questions have popped up about how to address the characters. “How far can you push someone who cares about you, until you reach the breaking point?

Caroline’s employers appreciate and love her. They consider her a friend, and yet, she can’t accept it,” says Brooks. “She doesn’t want their help, or their friendship, because she knows what it’s like to lose things. If hope is built, it can only be dashed. And race relations were so volatile then, you couldn’t trust your white allies to consistently be on your side. So there is a lot of ‘acting out’ in this play, from both Caroline and Noah, to see just how far you can push someone who adores you, before they push back.”

A play like “Caroline, or Change” is designed to be thought-provoking.

Brooks is well aware of that, yet, as he puts it, “We want our patrons to walk away feeling empowered to have the conversations that must be held. We want them to think that it’s OK to grieve, but not to let that emotion consume your entire life. We want people not to allow discomfort, complacency and fear choke their spirit from growing, because God can make the ugliest situation a testimony.

“After all,” he concludes, “unlikely friendships can be forged in the face of change.”

“Caroline, or Change” opens Nov. 7 at the Ripple Theater, 3264 Brainerd Rd., and plays 7:30 p.m. Fri-Sat and 2:30 p.m. Sun through Nov. 23. For tickets and more information, visit rippletheater.com

VOLKSWAGEN SERIES

CLASSICAL’S TOP HITS November 9, 2014 • 3:00pm Volkswagen Conference Center

New York Gilbert & Sullivan Players

PIRATES OF PENZANCE Albert Bergeret, artistic director and conductor

November 15, 2014 • 7:30pm Tivoli Theatre

TICKETS: 423.267.8583 www.chattanoogasymphony.org

chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 19

ARTS CALENDAR thursday10.30

Don’t miss it!

Last weekend Thurs. - Sun. EnchantedMaze. com

Final weekend!

Open Fri. & Sat.

BlowingScreamsFarm.com

Homeschool Science Club 1 p.m.

Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 757-2143 cdmfun.org Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery & Landscape Co. 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com “A Short History of Chattanooga” 6 p.m.

Chattanooga History Center 2 W. Aquarium Way (423) 265-3247 chattanoogahistory.com Fireside: Erin Medley and Astronomer Dr. Clements 6 p.m.

Greenway Farm 3010 Hamill Rd. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Hunter Museum Spectrum 2014 Preview Party 6 p.m.

Hunter Mueum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Pints and Pedals Halloween Celebration 6 p.m.

Pints and Pedals Corner of 10th and Columbia St. (423) 380-8359

20 • The Pulse • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

RiffTrax Live “Anaconda” pintsandpedalstn.com Big Ed Caylor 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Halloween” 7:30 p.m.

Majestic 12 311 Broad St. (423) 826-2375 carmike.com Kevin James 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. chattanoogaonstage.com RiffTrax Live: “Anaconda” East Ridge 18 5080 S. Terrace (423) 855-9652 carmike.com

Pulse Pick: Big Ed Caylor Big Ed is Southern to the bone, and country as cornbread.

Being from Ooltewah, Tennessee makes him an expert on hometown views and values.

Big Ed Caylor The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

friday10.31 Pints and Pedals Halloween Celebration Noon Pints and Pedals Corner of 10th and Columbia St. (423) 380-8359 pintsandpedalstn.com Teen Trick Or Treating 9 a.m.

Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad Street (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org Frightening Ass Film Festival 7 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Big Ed Caylor

7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

saturday11.1 Brainerd Farmers’ Market 10 a.m.

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 698-0330 St. Alban’s Hixson Farmers’ Market 10 a.m.

St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-1342 Mountain Arts and Craft Celebration 10 a.m.

Cloudland Canyon State Park 122 Cloudland Canyon Rd. Rising Fawn, GA mountainartsandcraftcelebration.org “The L Play” 10:30 a.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Pints and Pedals Halloween Celebration Noon Pints and Pedals Corner of 10th and Columbia St. (423) 380-8359 pintsandpedalstn.com “Symphonic Tales” 2:30 p.m.

Downtown Library

ARTS CALENDAR

Benji Lovitt: Comedy Show 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org Camp Out to Stamp Out Family Homelessness 5 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 756-3891 Big Ed Caylor 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Wide Open Floor 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Benji Lovitt: Comedy Show 8 p.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com

sunday11.2 Mountain Arts and Craft Celebration 10 a.m.

Cloudland Canyon State Park 122 Cloudland Canyon Rd. Rising Fawn, GA mountainartsandcraftcelebration.org Chattanooga Market 11 a.m.

The Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com

Free First Sunday Noon Hunter Mueum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Spectrum 2014 AvantArt Brunch 1 p.m.

Hunter Mueum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Big Ed Caylor 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

monday11.3 Tweentastic: Film Group 4 p.m.

Northgate Public Library 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 870-0635 chattlibrary.org

tuesday11.4 Beginning Readers Book Club 4 p.m.

Northgate Public Library 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 870-0635 chattlibrary.org Rapid Learning Intro/ Roll Kayak Class 7 p.m.

Southern Adventist University Hulsey Wellness Center

4870 University Dr., Collegedale (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com

wednesday11.5 CWLI’s Women Know: Financial Empowerment Series 11:30 a.m.

St. Paul’s Episcopal Church (423) 394-8173 cwli.org Early Innovator Awards Luncheon 11:30 a.m.

Business Development Center 100 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 826-8700 chattanoogatechnologycouncil.org Art Class: Painting the Luminous Object 1 p.m.

Townsend Atelier 201 W. Main St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m.

325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com

ongoing “Breakdown Lane Orrery” Cress Gallery of Art 736 Vine St. (423) 425-4371 cressgallery.org

“Figuratively Speaking…”

Northshore Gallery of Contemporary Art 505 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 400-9797 thenorthshoregallery.com “Learning the Curve: The Artistry of Matt Moulthrop” Museum Center at 5ive Points 200 Inman St. E, Cleveland (423) 339-5745 “Open 24 Hours” Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “Play! Build! Climb!”

Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org “Self-Reflection” River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (800) 374-2923 river-gallery.com “The Threads That Bind” Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 MLK Boulevard (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org Awesome Autumn Fall Color Cruises River Gorge Explorer 201 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 267-3474 tnaqua.org Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Don’t miss the last weekend!

HauntedCavern.com Open Weekends!

RubyFallsZip.com

chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 21

Yo Ho Ho...and a Bottle of Sailor Jerry Our man on the barstool gives you three recipes for rum-based fall favorites

“

The same stuff that keeps you looking cool on the outside is more than capable of keeping you feeling warm on the inside.”

Mike Dobbs writes about all things liquor.

When not relaxing at home with his Tonkinese kitten Amélie, he’s an architectural designer by trade. A night owl since birth, he’s honed the craft of bacchanalian roister and developed an appreciation for the finer elixirs of life.

It’s time to close the ation and down-to-earth lid on summer 2014. Put homey festivities, such away your floaties and as cuddling up in with a noodles. Stash the cabana warm cuppa and reading wear. The pool is closed. the October Christmas If you’ve sales ads in not taken the newsthe time to Spirits Within paper. go outside However, lately—it’s there are MIKE DOBBS autumn. still plenty Maybe one last crank of of ways to enjoy some the lawnmower and you summer libations of sort can call it a year. The when the air gets thin. grass over the septic tank You don’t have to lock up will stay the same length all of the warm weather as the rest of the yard treats or buy a ticket to from here on out. For me, Australia. Rum, for examthat’s reason enough to ple, isn’t just for pina cocelebrate. The chill in the ladas and daiquiris. The air and the delightful fall same stuff that keeps you colors give way to relaxlooking cool on the out-

coin, he also inspired Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum, which has a hula girl on the label. (As the bottle empties, more pin-up girls appear on the inside of the label. The more you know…)

Alone, this Virgin Island rum has vanilla, dry, buttery toffee and subtle cinnamon notes and an almost root beer aftertaste. It’s not as sweet as it was prior to 2010, thanks to a change in the distillation process.

Those responsible for this invested a lot of time and effort into ye olde maritime rum recipes and figured that authenticity would make pretty good sense for a Navy Rhum.

Further testing showed that a proof of 92 was the perfect amount to help people find their sea legs without going overboard.

Athens Distributing recommends these fine spirits...

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side is more than capable of keeping you feeling warm on the inside.

For your convenience and safety, I’m experimenting with an artfully labeled bottle of Sailor Jerry Rum that’s been giving me the stink-eye from the bar all weekend.

What or who is Sailor Jerry? I’m glad you asked.

Norman Collins (aka “Sailor Jerry”) was a famous tattoo artist, writer and saxamaphone player that lived in Hawaii and inked about everything that moved back in the day. Unfortunately, he passed on his artwork to a guy named Ed Hardy who is now immortalizing his legacy on the T-shirts of low-rider Honda drivers and television ghost ferreters named Zak. On the brighter and more reasonable side of the

@athenschatt

22 • The Pulse • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com hensdistributing.com

Captain Morgan Spiced Rum Smooth and medium bodied, this spiced rum is a secret blend of Caribbean rums, mellow spice and other natural flavors. It’s designed to mix perfectly with cola.

Kraken Black Spiced

Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum

Named after a sea beast of myth and legend, Kraken Rum is strong, rich, black and smooth, easily enjoyed as a sipping rum, it also works well as a key ingredient in a number of rum-based cocktails.

Developed after loads of historical research into maritime rums, the alltnatural spices and flavors they chose gives Sailor Jerry Rum a smooth taste characterized by top notes of vanilla and cinnamon.

Three Blind Wines Cystic Fibros is Foun dation

u As aforementioned, I subjected myself to doing some stunt work at the bar and came up with a couple of epicurean toddies for your perusal.

This one, I called something that can’t be printed. So, we’ll name it, “Jerry’s Hot Toddy No. 1”. It’s super easy. Just take 2 parts Sailor Jerry. Add 1 part cherry liqueur, 5 parts apple cider, 1 tsp. honey, 2 cinnamon sticks, 1/2 orange, sliced. Mix it up in a mug and nuke it for 2 minutes. This is mighty comforting. It made me kind of sleepy after the first one.

But in the pursuit of science, it took several tries to get it just right. No sleep was had thus until way later.

“The Perfect Storm” is a nautical take on the classic “Dark and Stormy”. I like it a little better than the latter because it’s smoother with the spiced rum.

And more importantly, George Clooney drowned in the movie adaptation. For this, combine 2 parts Sailor Jerry with Ginger Beer (not

ginger ale) and add a couple drops of Angostura bitters and a big lime wedge over ice. It’s a very refreshing cocktail for any occasion or meal. Best when you’re wearing a big yellow rubber hat and facing toward Gloucester.

A friend turned me on to the “Queens Park Swizzle”. It’s almost like the overhyped mojito but much better. And it’s a heck of a lot more fun to say. Stagger into the corner bar with your best 1930s movie gangster voice and announce loudly, “Gimme a Queens Park Swizzle, Boniface..M’yeah.”

He should make you a drink with 2 parts Sailor Jerry, 1 part lime juice, 1/2 part simple syrup, some mint leaves and 2 dashes of Angostura bitters in a tall glass of ice.

There you have it, multicolor leaf lovers. If someone finds you sitting in a squash patch in the middle of the night waiting on the Great Pumpkin, you’ll have three reasons for them to stay there with you.

Cheers!

TRACK 29

November 20, 2014 DOWNTOWN CHATTANOOGA 14O0 MARKET ST.

6:30 PM Live Music by THE POWER PLAYERS SHOW BAND

$50 | SINGLE TICKET PURCHASE TICKETS ONLINE: WWW.CFF.ORG/CHAPTERS/TENNESSEE/THREEBLINDWINES

OR CALL TO PURCHASE: 615.255.1167

chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 23

SCREEN SCENE

Day of the Dead, Ninos-Style “The Book of Life” is gorgeous Mexican folklore brought to glorious animated life

Just In Time For Halloween The Mise En Scenesters gear up for another frightfest.

Do you love movies? Do you love scary movies? Do you love making scary movies? If you answered yes to all three questions, have we got an event for you: the Frightening Ass Film Fest Four.

Among the films featured will be “The Demon’s Rook”, “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, and “The Babadook”. Also, enjoy the winning entries in Second Annual Frightening Filmmaking Contest, a collection of short (3-5 minute) films.

The main event takes place on Halloween night, Friday, Oct. 31, at the newly renovated Barking Legs The-

✴✴✴✴

ater. Admission is just $10, and in addition to the film fest, there will also a be costume contest, music from Louisville’s White Reaper and our own SoCro, as well as stand-up comedy from Evatt & Bloom.

Get all the info at the Mise En Scenesters website at mesfilmclub. com/frightening-ass-film-fest-four Frightening Ass Film Festival 7 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

NEW IN THEATERS

Nightcrawler A young man stumbles upon the underground world of L.A. freelance crime journalism, blurring the line between observer and participant to become the star of his own story.

Director: Dan Gilroy Stars: Jake Gyllenhaal, Rene Russo, Michael Papajohn, Marco Rodríguez

✴✴✴✴

Before I Go to Sleep A woman wakes up every day, remembering nothing as a result of a traumatic accident. One day, new terrifying truths emerge that force her to question everyone around her.

Director: Rowan Joffe Stars: Nicole Kidman, Colin Firth, Mark Strong, Ben Crompton

24 • The Pulse • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

W

henever Guillermo del Toro is involved in a film, you know that it will feature visuals that can’t be matched elsewhere. Pixar has dominated the animated feature category in recent years for good reason—their stories are almost always superior. While their animation is also high quality, a Pixar film looks the same across movies, with large eyes, smooth skin, and just enough pseudo-realism in the background to captivate the eye. However, 20th Century Fox and Reel FX have created a fair challenger in the animated movie area with “Book of Life.”

Screen JOHN DEVORE

“

The story is not the star—it’s the animation that shines.

It is simply exquisite.”

What they have created is unlike anything made for American audiences before.

Here is a film that is very much rooted in the macabre but is not in any way ghoulish or gray. There is no Tim Burton/“Nightmare Before Christmas” morbidity to be seen, no pale figures set against black skies or ashen tombstones. Death is shown as it is in Mexican folklore, with eye-popping colors and stylish characters. This descent into the underworld not a morose occasion, but a celebrated journey into a neon wonderland. Not enough can be said about the look of this film. If only the story had risen to the same level, stooping to fewer pop culture gags and tired one-liners, it might have been something of an upset in a genre dominated by one company. But despite its shortcomings, the film has surely raised some eyebrows in the industry.

The story begins with a wager between supernatural beings. A good many epic myths have begun this way and for “The Book of Life”, it seems as good a place to start as any. In spite of any misgivings I may have surrounding clichéd storylines, I am aware that the audience must be considered. This is a film for children, one that will expose those born in traditionally American families to a culture that is

wildly foreign and strange. The film involves a Mexican tradition that celebrates The Day of the Dead. To some, the practice may seem to be unnatural death worship, but given how it is presented this couldn’t be farther from the truth. It is meant to honor the dead so that their memory is never lost.

In the film, there are two underworlds: The Land of the Remembered, which is ruled by the beautiful and powerful La Muerte and The Land of the Forgotten, which is ruled by the dark and foreboding Xibalba.

The pair seems to be somehow romantically linked and share a playful, competitive relationship. According to the film, when the living pass on, they will live for eternity in one of these lands. So long as they are remembered, they will remain in a land with endless feasting and happiness.

Those that are forgotten are doomed to be forever scattered as ashes and reformed into listless nothing. La Muerte and Xibalba observe a group of children playing and see that two boys are in love with the same girl.

The deities make a wager on which boy will marry the girl.

The narrative follows traditional star-crossed lover tropes, but manages to stay away from any sort of anger or

resentment that might accompany it.

The tale is more of a typical romance, something that might be found in chivalrous stories of knights and their exploits. But the story is not the star—it’s the animation that shines.

It is simply exquisite, with characters modeled as beautifully detailed marionette dolls, and is a testament to how Mexican culture has crossed over into mainstream consciousness. The cast is also superb, featuring voices by Diego Luna and Ron Perlman, Christina Applegate and Danny Trejo, and a special cameo appearance by Placido Domingo. The film is certainly Americanized, which is understandable given the nature of American marketing, but the film is distinctly rooted in the Mexican tradition and absolutely sparkles onscreen.

It’s important to note that “The Book of Life” is not based on anything, is not an adaptation of anything, and is not a sequel to anything.

It is an original, self-contained story told in a unique and fun way. While it has made it into McDonald’s Happy Meal promotions, there is something to be said for a creative film that takes this kind of risk. Success at the box office will likely mean sequels and spin offs, but for now, “The Book of Life” is worth seeing on its own merits.

Taconooga Where authentic Mexican food is our passion.

bar

207 A Frazier Avenue (423) 757-5550 www.taconooga.com

Drink Specials Tuesday: 1/2 priced wine Wednesday: $4 featured infusions Thursday: 25% off low-grav drafts Friday: 25% off bottled beer Sunday: Brunch! $5 Bloody Marys and $3 mimosas ‘til close

55 Johnson Street flyingsquirrelbar.com

Weekday specials are from 5-10pm

chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 25

Mixology

rachael poe

We Want A Shrubbery!

Simple methods for making tasty mixers

FRESH HERBS FROM OUR GARDEN COMBINED

with the highest quality ingredients make the perfect cocktail.

Come enjoy an expertly crafted beverage today.

423.634.9172 • KITCHENATUNIONSQUARE.COM TALLAN BUILDING • 2 UNION SQUARE 200 W. MLK BLVD • CHATTANOOGA, TN 37402 DINNER M-SAT • LUNCH M-F • SUNDAY BRUNCH Kitchen at Union Square supports Culinard, the Culinary Institute of Virginia College, where our staff of professional chefs provides a learning lab and teaching establishment for culinary and pastry arts students from Culinard.

26 • The Pulse • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

No, no. Not that kind of shrubbery. I’m talking about the kind of shrub that you can drink. Confused? Historically, there are two types of liquids referred to as “shrubs”: the first is a slightly acid cordial made from sweetened fruit juice and water, while the second is a drink made of sweetened fruit juice and liquor, typically rum or brandy.

In both cases, the sugar, acid, and optional alcohol were used to preserve the fruit juice.

Shrubs date back to 15th-century England and were originally based on the medicinal cordials of the time. But shrubs, unlike medicinal cordials, were simply intended to preserve fruit long past its picking.

This English practice carried over to colonial America and eventually morphed into a process that used fruit-infused vinegar mixed with sugar or honey to make sweet-and-sour syrup. Though the syrup could be mixed with water or soda water, it was often used as a mixer in alcoholic cocktails in 19th-century America.

With the advent of refrigeration, shrubs fell out of use, but the past few years have seen a shrub revival. They are acidic, tangy, and sweet, and they make great mixers.

If you would like to try your hand at making a shrub or two, there are two simple methods: the hot method and the cold method.

Whichever method you use, no special tools are required, and the only ingredients are fruit, sugar and vinegar.

Soft and relatively squishy fruits are the best type to use for syrup making. Think berries, peaches and plums. Even rhubarb and apricots work. As for the sugar and vinegar, take your pick. Try starting with basic refined cane

sugar and white vinegar, or, if you’re feeling more adventurous, branch out to brown sugar or apple cider vinegar.

Before beginning either method, wash and prepare the fruit. Most berries can be lightly crushed, but if you’re using strawberries be sure to hull and quarter them. Stone fruits (such as peaches, plums, apricots and cherries) should be quartered and pitted.

The hot method is the simpler of the two.

Add equal parts sugar and water to a saucepan. Heat and stir until the sugar dissolves to form syrup. Add the fruit and let it simmer until the fruit’s juices have blended into the syrup. Let the mixture cool, strain out the fruit chunks, and add vinegar. Store in a bottle in the refrigerator.

Though the cold process takes longer, the fruit flavor remains purer. Put the prepared fruit in a large bowl and cover it with an equal amount of sugar. Mix the fruit and sugar together, cover the bowl, and refrigerate. Leave it to sit for a few hours or days—the longer it sits, the more flavorful the syrup will be. During this time, the sugar draws the juice out of the fruit to form syrup. When you’re ready to continue, strain out the fruit chunks, add vinegar, and whisk the mixture until the remaining sugar dissolves. Bottle the finished mixture and store it in the refrigerator.

Once you have more experience making your own shrubs, expand your repertoire by using multiple fruits or by adding herbs and spices. You can drink a shrub by itself, but, as mentioned before, they make excellent mixers. Since shrubs are both tart and sweet, they can be used as an alternative to bitters in cocktails or as an aperitif.

Diversions

Consider This with Dr. Rick

by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. “If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another.” — Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama I love Gandhi’s philosophy: “Be the change you wish to see in the world”.

To me, it applies to global thinking as well as to the little moments in our lives and relationships that we encounter every day.

In relationship counseling, I see that one partner often experiences the lack of what they want from the other, and they’re painfully aware of that lack. Sometimes, this awareness leads to the discovery that what they themselves are missing is exactly what they are also not providing. So both parties are trying to survive in the deficit.

Start at home. What are you missing? If you want more peace, how can you provide more peace? If you want more love, are you offering love? If you want more fun, are you offering fun? When we provide for the other that which we are missing ourselves, something shifts. The deficit becomes abundance. It was within our power all along. We just needed to turn the mirror toward ourselves. We needed to be the change. chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 27

Free Will Astrology

“

Homework: What Halloween costume would help you activate a secret or dormant part of your potential?

Testify at FreeWillAstrology. com

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In AMC’s famous TV drama, a high school chemistry teacher responds to his awful luck by turning to a life of crime. The show’s title, “Breaking Bad”, refers to what happens when a good person cracks and veers over to the dark side. So then what does “breaking good” mean?

Urbandictionary.com defines it like this: “When a criminal, junkie, or gang-banger gets sweet and sparkly, going to church, volunteering at soup kitchens, and picking the kids up from school.” I’m concerned that you are at risk of undergoing a similar conversion, Scorpio.

You seem so nice and kind and mild lately. I guess that’s fine as long as you don’t lose your edge.

Halloween costume suggestion: a criminal with a halo, a sweet and sparkly gang-banger, or a Buddhist monk junkie.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I’ve got two possible remedies for your emotional congestion. You might also want to make these two remedies part of your Halloween shtick. The first remedy is captured by the English word “lalochezia.” It refers to a catharsis that comes from uttering profane language. The second remedy is contained in the word “tarantism.” It means an urge to dance manically as a way to relieve melancholy. For your Halloween disguise, you could be a wildly dancing obscenity-spouter.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You are at a point in your astrological cycle when you deserve to rake in the rewards that you have been working hard to earn. I expect you to be a magnet for gifts and blessings. The favors and compliments you have doled out will be returned to you. For all the strings you have pulled in behalf of others’ dreams, strings will now be pulled for you. Halloween costume suggestion: a beaming kid hauling around a red wagon full of brightly wrapped presents.

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Two physicists in Massachusetts are working on technology that will allow people to shoot laser beams out of their eyes. For

28 • The Pulse • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny

Halloween, I suggest that you pretend you have already acquired this superpower. It’s time for you to be brash and jaunty as you radiate your influence with more confidence. I want to see you summon reserves of charismatic clout you haven’t dared to call on before. Costume suggestion: The X-Men mutant named Cyclops or the legendary Native America creature known as the thunderbird, which emits lightning from its eyes.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The African nation of Swaziland has passed a law prohibiting witches from flying their broomsticks any higher than 150 meters above ground. That will be a big problem for Piscean witches.

There is currently an astrological mandate for them to swoop and glide and soar as high and free as they want to. The same is metaphorically true for all Piscean non-witches everywhere.

This is your time to swoop and glide and soar as high and free as you want to. Halloween costume suggestion: high-flying witch, a winged angel, the Silver Surfer, or a mythic bird like the Garuda.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): If you live in Gaza, you don’t have easy access to Kentucky Fried Chicken. The closest KFC restaurant is 35 miles away in the Egyptian city of El-Arish. But there was a time when you could pay smugglers to bring it to you via one of the underground tunnels that linked Egypt to Gaza.

Each delivery took four hours and required the help of two taxis, a hand cart, and a motorbike.

(Alas, Egypt destroyed most of the tunnels in early 2014.) I recommend, Aries, that you be as determined and resourceful to make your longed-for connections as the KFC lovers in Gaza were. Halloween costume suggestion: smuggler, bootlegger, drug-dealer, black-marketeer.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): It’s urgent that you expand your options. Your freedom of choice can’t lead you to where you need to go until you have more possibilities to choose from. In fact, you’re better off not making a decision until you have a wider selection. To playfully drive

home this point to your subconscious mind, I suggest that this Halloween you consider disguising yourself as a slime mold.

This unusual creature comes in more than 500 different genders, at least 13 of which must collaborate to reproduce. Here’s a photo: bit.ly/yellowslime.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In the animated sci-fi TV sitcom “Futurama”, Leela is the mutant captain of a spaceship. In one episode, she develops an odd boil on her hindquarters.

It has a face and can sing. The actor who provides the vocals for the animated boil’s outpouring of song is Gemini comedian Craig Ferguson, whose main gig is serving as host of a late-night TV talk show on CBS. Telling you this tale is my way of suggesting that you consider going outside your usual niche, as Craig Ferguson did, to offer your talents in a different context.

Halloween costume suggestion: Kim Kardashian as a nurse wearing Ebola protective gear; science educator Neil deGrasse Tyson as a male stripper; a cat wearing a dog costume, or vice versa.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Native American hero Sitting Bull (1831-1890) was a renowned Lakota chief and holy man. He led his people in their resistance to the U.S. occupation of their land. How did he become so strong and wise? In large part through the efforts of his doting mother, whose name was HerHoly-Door. Let’s install her as your exemplar for now. May she inspire you to nurture beauty and power in those you love.

May she motivate you to be adroit as you perform your duties in service to the future. May the mystery of her name rouse you to find the sacred portal that ushers you to your next big gift.

Halloween costume suggestion: a sacred portal, a divine gateway, an amazing door.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): This is one of those rare times when it’s OK for you to just throw out the dirty dishes that you are too lazy to wash. It’s also permissible to hide from a difficult person,

spend money on a supposedly foolish indulgence, eat a bowl of ice cream for breakfast, bingewatch a TV show that provokes six months’ worth of emotions in a few hours, and lie in bed for an extra hour fantasizing about sex with a forbidden partner. Don’t make any of these things habits, of course. But for now, it’s probably healthy to allow them.

Halloween costume suggestion: total slacker.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Our evolutionary ancestors Homo erectus loved to eat delicious antelope brains. The fossil evidence is all over their old stomping grounds in East Africa. Scientists say that this delicacy, so rich in nutrients, helped our forbears build bigger, stronger brains themselves. These days it’s harder but not impossible to make animal brains part of your diet. The Chinese and Koreans eat pig brains, and some European cuisines include beef brains. I’m confident, however, that your own brain will be functioning better than ever in the coming weeks, even if you don’t partake of this exotic dish. Be sure to take advantage of your enhanced intelligence.

Solve tough riddles! Think big thoughts! Halloween costume suggestion: a brain-eating Homo erectus.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “The egromenious hilarity of psychadisical melarmy, whether rooted in a lissome stretch or a lusty wobble, soon defisterates into crabolious stompability. So why not be graffenbent?” So said Noah’s ex-wife Joan of Arc in her interview with St. Crocodile magazine. Heed Joan’s advice, please, Libra. Be proactively saximonious. I’M KIDDING! Everything I just said was nonsense. I hope you didn’t assume it was erudite wisdom full of big words you couldn’t understand. In offering it to you, I was hoping to immunize you against the babble and hype and artifice that may soon roll your way. Halloween costume suggestion: a skeptic armed with a shock-proof bullshit-detector.

(For inspiration, check out these visuals: http://bit.ly/bsdetector.)

Jonesin’ Crossword

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DAILY

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ACROSS 1 He had quite a few words 6 Vantage points 11 Jazzman’s job 14 Dangly throat thing 15 “It’s Your Thing” singers The ___ Brothers 16 Bird on the ground 17 Two-time U.S. Open champ 19 Decide 20 Voight’s daughter 21 Niacin’s vitamin number 23 Ate just some 26 Alabama Slammer ingredient 27 Area code 801 resident 28 French film nominated for five Oscars 29 Estonia or Latvia, once: abbr.

30 Like Pac-Man and bell bottoms

32 “Melrose Place” actor Rob 35 Items that sometimes get lost together 37 “Beetle Bailey” figure 39 Caterpillar’s structure 40 Like caviar 42 They may be sordid 44 Teachers’ org.

45 Word that turns sarcastic when said blandly 47 Upbeat 49 Plugs the battery in 51 Snack that leaves a residue 52 Alert while driving 53 Nash of “Reno 911!”

54 Cloud chamber particle 55 “War of the World” actress 60 Number cruncher 61 Absinthe flavoring 62 “Hey, Soul Sister” band

63 Louisville Slugger wood 64 Diplomatic skills 65 Get the feeling DOWN 1 Jamaican export 2 Ab ___ (from the beginning) 3 Magazine holder 4 Wood known for a ring 5 Place to serve your own guacamole and salsa 6 Drop in 7 “That makes sense” 8 Letter between “kay” and “em” 9 Toy that won’t fall down, per its ads 10 Part of a heartbeat 11 CIA Director, 1997-2004 12 Pyramide du Louvre architect 13 “___ Tag!” 18 Some dresses 22 “Ocean’s Eleven” job

23 Corn covers 24 On a ship 25 Actress in “Splash” 26 Urban pollutions 28 Impressive display 31 Barcelona bar food 33 First month, in Mazatlan 34 Goes no farther 36 Baby bird?

38 Cut into glass 41 Surface for some stretching 43 Toms’ mates 46 Eye part 48 Donkey with a pinned-on tail 49 Girl, in Guatemala 50 B-ball 51 French movie theaters 53 Conde ___ Traveler 56 Flair of pro wrestling 57 Leather color 58 Follow-up to “Angela’s Ashes” 59 Number that’s its own cube

Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0699 chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 29

Plain Truth In Plain Clothes Officer Alex finds philosophy is for the dogs...but it doesn’t stop him

“

My friend raised an eyebrow because I was now put on the spot, given my earlier sage advice. But I did not flinch.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alexteach

I recently had the pleasure of attending a birthday party for a friend out of town. (Those last three words, of course, being quite important to this week’s column.)

My buddy’s wife was the subject of the birthday, therefore I was the subject of the buddy while she shopped and smiled and ALEX did all those other things guys love to do that involve sitting on a bench while the light of our lives buys an eighth pair of cowboy boots.

While waiting we did all the usual things guys do while the girls did theirs: We looked for flat-screen TVs displaying college football, cool cars (since we were street side), and did not look at fabulous women wearing low-hanging things to offset their very high-cut things while walking in things that accentuated their calf muscles.

They were invisible to us, and that’s just science—but the fully restored medium-quasarblue ’72 Chevelle with the parchment-colored interior at the curb outside was not, and we responded immediately to its location.

The vinyl outside and the interior upholstery were completely redone, and we marveled that there wasn’t a trim piece out of place, right down to the...“HEY BRUTHA!” a vagrant cried out, walking up behind and between us, a smile on his face as broad as the six-lane street in front of us. “HOW TEACH ’BOUT YOU HIT ME WITH A ONE?” he requested, referring to a onedollar bill.

I began to prepare my usual retort to such a request when to my annoyance my pal withdrew his wallet, of all things, and fished out a crisp one-dollar bill. “THANK YA MAN, HEY HOW ABOUT SOMETHING BIGGAH?” the man said (as opposed to a plain “thank you”).

“Hey man, you just asked for a one,” Robert said. “No.” The solicitor opened his mouth to retort when I interrupted with a, “GO. Move on. Do it now.”

The tone must have struck him as familiar, and he departed.

“The experts themselves will tell you, the best way to help them is to not give them money. People don’t learn to

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fish if the fish is just handed to them instead,” I said as we walked to another vehicle (Oh my God, a fully restored 1955 Willys pickup!), and he explained that it was just his nature to help. “So feed him,” I said, “but don’t enable him.

Hey.” Topic concluded.

Fast forward eight hours later; we were still all together after a healthy car ride back to the hotel where the post-midnight hours would be spent like most 40 years olds’ nights these days (asleep), but I spied a hotdog cart in the distance, and the name, “Dough Joe’s,” guaranteed a purchase to counterbalance the medicine I’d been drinking most of the evening.

(In bars.)

We were approaching to review the toppings when I was flanked by another indigenous person of the greater Nashville metro area, who this time asked, “Hey man, can you buy me a hot dog? I haven’t eaten in two days” (because how could one be expected to find food in downtown Nashville in 48 hours?). My friend raised an eyebrow because I was now put on the spot, given my earlier sage advice. But I did not flinch; I really do feed hungry people without a thought, even when they’re lying to me (though I did immediately regret not packing a gun for the trip out tonight).

“Sure,” I said, and pulled out my wallet. “Can you make it two?” he said. “Sure,” I again replied. “Polish sausage?” he asks. I paused…no street vendor should charge $5 bucks per dog, but he had the market cornered. “Sure.”

So as the dogs are prepped for sale, the guy said, “Hey, how about just giving me some money with that?” as I pulled out a $10—enough for his request, but not mine, mind you—and that’s when I had enough.

“What did you say? You asked for food, I give it to you, you double it and I say ‘OK’, now instead of a thank you you want more? You want my money too? How about this. $%^@ you, I’m eating your damn hot dogs.”

The vagrant sprang into action and snatched one of the dogs now on display while I grabbed the other and he fled down the street.

Robert was laughing. And he was right, because all philosophies are subject to being shit on no matter how well planned or intended. Take care of the disadvantaged. The weak do deserve our charity and protection. But never, ever take it for granted that “weak” means “stupid” or “nice.”

And for the record? Dough Joe’s sucks, despite the clever name.

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chattanoogapulse.com • october 30-NOVEMBER 5, 2014 • The Pulse • 31

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