The Pulse 11.46 » November 13, 2014 by Brewer Media Group

The Pulse

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

NOVEMBER 13, 2014

holiday

Travel guide

ARTS

MUSIC

SCREEN

artist emerges

shaking bellies

not so much

evolution the fringe science?

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Contents

The Pulse CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole Contributing Editor Janis Hashe

November 13, 2014 Volume 11, Issue 46

Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny Madeline Chambliss • Steven W. Disbrow Janis Hashe • Matt Jones • Sandra Kurtz Marc T. Michael • Beth Miller Ernie Paik • Rick Pimental-Habib Alex Teach • Leith Tigges Editorial Interns Maggie Hanna • Zach Nicholson Rachael Poe Cartoonists & Illustrators Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

Features

Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

4 BEGINNINGS: Women’s team Tennessee Train loves playing football

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Julie Brown Craig Glass • Rick Leavell • Lisa McVay Chester Sharp • Stacey Tyler

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Contents Copyright © 2014 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

honest music

6 SCIENCE: Prof. Disbrow shapes us up on measurements in space.

Gulf Shores Holiday Parade

The 2014 Holiday Travel Guide

It’s the time of year when we pack the bags and hit the road (or airport terminal) for a nice holiday vacation. And since we love to travel as much as you do, we scoured the region to bring you insights of three great places to visit: Alabama’s Gulf Shores/ Orange Beach, New Orleans, and Historic Rugby, Tennessee.

Hips Are Rippling For Charity

“So why,” you may be asking yourself if you skipped past the introduction to see who the article was about this week, “are you writing about a belly dance performance?”

The Artist Emerges and Evolves

Take a long look at “Emerge,” the largest sculpture in Shadow May’s new exhibit at AVA. At more than three feet tall, the clay piece is impressive simply for its size—but there’s much more to the story than that.

18 REVIEWS: Kilgour invigorates, Frith and Butcher nourish and perplex. 19 GREEN: Elections open door for rollbacks of protections. 24 SCREEN: Beautiful “Interstellar” falls short on space accuracy. 25 MIXOLOGY: Amaretto is the stuff of legends…and cupcakes. 28 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY 29 JONESIN’ CROSSWORD 30 ON THE BEAT: Officer Alex suggests people stop speeding if they want him at work on other problems.

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news • views • rants • raves

BEGINNINGS

updates » CHATTANOOGApulse.com facebook/chattanoogapulse EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

A Penalty Flag For Stereotypes Women’s team Tennessee Train just loves playing football

“

We are everything the world is. We are just in pads playing the game of football.”

Breaking down the walls of female stereotypes is a truly daunting task. Women have proven over and over that they are capable of fulfilling roles that have been labled “male only”—think Rosie the Riveter, Secretary of State, multi-million-dollar authors. What do all of these women have in common? They long to stand out for their skill, not their gender. A group of local women aren’t asking for permission. They are stepping off their “life benches,” suiting up, and tackling the barriers head-on. Chattanooga, meet the Tennessee Train (TNT), our women’s football team. TNT grew out of the previous team,

Photo by Beth Miller

Chattanooga Locomotion, when it lost its funding several years ago. A group of veteran players got together and decided they could not sit around and wait. They had worked too hard and had come too far to simply sit and hope for a financial savior. Now, with two seasons under its belt, TNT is gaining momentum and looking for new recruits. After wrapping up season one beth miller with a 1-7 record and season two with a much improved 5-3, the team is pushing to go undefeated this season. Tryouts are happening now and will continue until January. Step up and join this team of women who are a balance of silly and serious— teammates are playful and keep their friendships in perspective, but once the pads are on, game face is displayed. Corri Bischer, defensive end, advises fence riders, “Just come out and observe. It’s not as scary as you think. If you’ve never even seen football, we are willing to work with you to get you where you need to be.” Starlisa Horton, the team’s president and a Train player, explained that she had always longed to play football. Like all other women who yearned to enter the forbidden male world, she was told “no” in high school. Horton decided to sign on to be the high school team’s watergirl in order to learn about the sport. To this day, Horton’s mother does not approve of her decision to play a traditionally all-male sport, but does support her regardless of their differences.

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When asked about the difference between a male team and a female team, both Horton and Bischer echo, “Sisterhood.” Not only do they support each other on the field, but they also work together off of the field when personal problems arise. Bischer explained that when someone needs a home repair, advice for buying a home, and especially emotional support, “We call someone on the team.” The Tennessee Train is made up of women ages 17 and up. They’re teachers, business owners, realtors, and farmers. Asked how the team felt about negative stereotypes, Bischer responded, “[We want to be seen]as women who love football, nothing more, nothing less. I would tell them to think of all the stereotypes they think would involve women football players, and secondly, add in all the stereotypes that would not fit the women’s football player stereotype. Lastly, add all of those together and that is what makes up our football team and all the women players around the world. We are everything the world is. We are just in pads playing the game of football.” Contact TNT at facebook.com/ TennesseeTrain, tntrain.comm or TennesseeTrain12@gmail.com

EdiToon

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Chattanooga, You Don’t Look A Day Over 170 Most of us are used to having a big celebration for birthday milestones like the first, the 16th, the 18th, the 21st, the 50th, and sometimes the 100th. Whether or not you’ve always dreamed of celebrating a post one-hundredth birthday, mark your calendars for Saturday, Nov. 15 for Chattanooga’s 175th birthday party. Kicking off at 10 a.m. at Coolidge Park, this party is one the whole family can enjoy. After you’ve

signed the card, be sure to get your face painted by either Brighten It Up Facepainting or Manasi’s Art, take a “selfie” with the Coca-Cola Bear, Scrappy, Rocky the Elf and Looie, jump and slide to your heart’s content in the bouncy house and 18-foot slide, and take a free ride on the Coolidge Park carousel. Put your detective skills to the test in a scavenger hunt for a chance to win prizes from local favorites Taco Mamacita, Milk &

IN THIS ISSUE

Leith Tigges Our travel story on New Orleans during the holiday season this week is by Leith Tigges. She’s a 23 year-old graduate of the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga where she received her bachelor’s degree in English. She is originally from Nashville,

Honey, Urban Stack, Community Pie and Clyde’s on Main. Musical entertainment will be provided from Christie Burns and Micah Spence, Shane Morrow, Stratoblasters and Pay the Reckoning, until it’s time to sing “Happy Birthday” and eat a slice of cake, or in this case, the world’s largest Moon Pie. Grab your family, your friends and even your dog, and help celebrate 175 years of Chattanooga on Saturday. And of course, like with any birthday, don’t forget to sing “and many more.” — Madeline Chambliss

Jen Sorensen Tennessee but now lives in New Orleans, Louisiana where she works as a contributing writer for local publication Where Y’at Magazine. Leith specializes in writing pieces about local events and book and music reviews. She also works as a freelance writer and is coauthor (and the female half) of the food and travel blog girlboyeatdrink.com. She is slowly turning into a coffee drinker and is forever a dog lover.

Jen Sorensen’s weekly political cartoon appears in alternative newspapers around the country, as well as in magazines and websites such as Ms., The Progressive, and Daily Kos. Jen’s work has won several awards in the past couple years, including the Herblock

Prize, a Robert F. Kennedy Journalism Award, and First Place from the Association of Alternative Newsmedia. In addition to drawing cartoons, Jen recently began editing an online comics section for Fusion, a new network from ABC and Univision. You can see her work every week here in The Pulse as part of our dedication to the cartoon art form. She lives in Austin, Texas and can be found on Twitter at @JenSorensen.

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Going the Distance, Interstellar Style “

As you may know, light is fast. In a vacuum (i.e. outer space) it travels at 299,792,458 meters per second!”

Steven Disbrow is a computer programmer who specializes in e-commerce and mobile systems development. He’s also an entrepreneur, comic-book nerd, writer, improviser, actor, sometime television personality and parent of two human children.

You may have noticed that I have more than a few pet peeves. One of the biggest is the use of imprecise terminology in popular culture; for example, when a supposed science fiction show will use the term “intergalactic” when it’s clear that they mean “interstellar.” I mean, come on! You’re travelSTEVEN W. ing between stars, not between galaxies! Gah! (Throws Cheetos at TV.) Ahem. In any case, to coincide with the release of “Interstellar,” which seems to at least try to get it right (but fails in the end, apparently), I thought I’d use this month’s column to run down some of the more common units of distance that are used in astronomy. That might sound boring, and, well, OK… It can be. But, seriously, how often do I get to do a movie tie-in? Work with me here. Let’s start things off at the everyday, human scales of distance that you and I are used to, and we’ll go up from there. Meter (m): The meter is pretty much the standard of distance in science. If you insist on being oldfashioned, that’s roughly three

feet (one yard) long. Kilometer (km): The “kilo” prefix tells you that there are 1,000 of whatever it is you are dealing with. In this case, meters. So, a kilometer is 1,000 meters long. (That’s about 6/10 of a mile.) Now, I will admit that, at this point, do get DISBROW things a little boring. You’ve got a bunch of prefixes that mean “various powers of 10 meters,” and honestly, it will put you to sleep. Let’s take a big leap and go straight to— Astronomical Unit (AU): This is the distance from the Sun to the Earth. Of course, the Earth travels around the Sun in an ellipse, so the actual distance varies from day to day. So, it’s been decided that 1AU is actually 149,597,870,700 meters. (Or, roughly 150 million km.) To be sure, the AU is an entirely made-up unit of measurement and very “Earthcentric.” But it’s handy for expressing distances here in our own solar system. For example, the average distance of Pluto from the Sun is about 40AU. Interplanetary: This is a vague term that

Just A Theory

means the distance between the planets of a given solar system. At this point, we humans haven’t even covered this much distance yet. (Unless you count the moon as a planet, which you shouldn’t, because it isn’t.) Our probes, however, cover interplanetary distances regularly. Interstellar: This is another fuzzy term that means the distances between stars. Again, the distances here vary from star to star. To get more precise, you have to start talking in terms of “light-years.” Light-Year (ly): Yes, the word “year” is in there. But this is still a measure of distance, and not time. Specifically, it’s the distance that light travels in a year. As you may know, light is fast. In a vacuum (i.e. outer space) it travels at 299,792,458 meters per second! If you do the math, you find that, in a year, light will travel 10 trillion kilometers. So, dropping back to “interstellar” for a minute, let’s look at distances to some “nearby” stars. Our closest stellar neighbor, Proxima Centauri, is 4.22 lightyears away. That’s an interstellar distance of 42.2 trillion kilometers. The North Star,

perhaps the most famous star in the sky, is a whopping 323 light-years away. And yes, that’s still inside our galaxy. (The Milky Way is about 100,000 light years across.) But, before we talk about galaxies, we have one more unit of distance to talk about: the Parsec. Parsec (pc): The parsec represents a distance of 3.26 light-years. Parsecs are the main unit of measurement used in astronomy, because they take into account the motion of the Earth as it moves around the Sun. Intergalactic: Yet another vague term that describes the distances between galaxies. The distances here are pretty much unimaginable. Our closest galactic neighbor, the Canis Major Dwarf galaxy is “just” 25,000 light-years away. The galaxy everyone thinks is closest, the Andromeda galaxy, is actually 2.5 million light-years away. And, there are further things still. The closest quasar to us is 13 billion light-years away...and the universe itself is about 93 billion light-years across! Oy! So, come on, Hollywood. It’s not that hard to get this stuff right, and I’m running out of Cheetos.

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Alabama’s Gulf Shores/Orange Beach is your gift to yourself Story by Janis Hashe, photos courtesy Alabama Gulf Shores Convention & Visitors Bureau

t’s almost sunset on Oyster Bay on Alabama’s Gulf Shores, and the captain pilots your boat into the perfect place to watch the flaming ball descend into the water. Maybe you hadn’t envisioned this as a perfect holiday experience. But really—why not? Late fall and winter might just be the ideal time to get away to the Gulf Shores/Orange Beach. Why contend with spring breakers and summer tourists, when you can lounge on the deck of one of the region’s 16,000 hotel rooms and condos now—perhaps with a holiday cocktail in hand? A recent visit to Gulf Shores/Orange Beach revealed more outstanding dining and recreation options than ever. And lest you think you might miss out on more traditional Christmas trappings, the area has those planned for you as well. Settle in with all the comforts of

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home—then play The three buildings of Caribe Resort in Orange Beach house gorgeous condos with equally gorgeous views. With full and fully equipped kitchens, you can make yourself a snack or a coffee whenever you feel like it—or whip up a holiday meal, if that’s your fancy. Most homes, however, don’t come with over 40,000 square feet of pools, a Lazy River to float down, tennis courts, beach shuttle service—and the happening Cobalt restaurant, complete with boat slips. cariberesort.com Area beaches are famous for their white, silky sugar sand and you might just want to plop down and relax for a few days. But if you’re ready to explore, there are a lot of options. Take a cruise. Happily, sea life is once again frolicking in the Gulf and bays, and a dolphin cruise on Cetacean Cruises gives you a chance to see those intelligent charmers in the wild. (You’ll also spot pelicans and possibly a turtle or so!) cetceancruises. com Wildlife is also featured on Wild Native Tours cruises. Their sunset expedition takes you on the inter-

Adventurous souls will love the Gulf Adventure Center, on 14 acres at Gulf State Park. Hummingbird Ziplines will fly you along six linked ziplines.”

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Photo: Wild Native Tours

TRAVEL GUIDE

If Santa Claus Wore Shades and Flip-Flops

coastal waterway, Bon Secour River and Oyster Bay, where Captain Mike finds the perfect place to watch the sun set. Great photo ops! wildnativetours.com Step back into the past. You’ll need to drive inland for just a few minutes to reach the hamlet of Magnolia Springs. Originally developed in the early 1800s, the small town has mostly been preserved, including its lovely little church. If bed-and-breakfast stays are your favorite way to travel, the award-winning Magnolia Springs Bed and Breakfast, presided over by proud papa David Worthington, is a gem, friendly cats, original woodwork and all. magnoliasprings.com Be sure and allow time for lunch or dinner, because Jesse’s at the Moore Brothers Village Market is worth the drive all by itself. The former grocery/ general store is now one the area’s top restaurants, specializing in farm-to-table, and of course, fresh seafood. A don’t miss. jessesrestaurant.com Zip-py-de-do-dah or paddle. Adventurous souls will love the Gulf

Adventure Center, on 14 acres at Gulf State Park. Hummingbird Ziplines will fly you along six linked ziplines, the last one almost completely over water. gulfadventurecenter.com Kayaking is also a active option, as you explore Little Lagoon and its wild inhabitants with GoGo Kayaks. gogokayaks.com In fact, the many parks and recreation areas that surround Gulf Shores/Orange Beach offer so many hiking, biking and other outdoor activities, you will definitely work up an appetite. Which is a very good thing, because one of the other best reasons to visit is… Eating. Plan to spend time on this. Besides the two outstanding restaurants already mentioned, Gulf Shores/ Orange Beach has so many choices it’s a foodie’s dream. Casual, right on the beach, and ohso-laid back is The Gulf. Outdoor bar, various places to hang out…what’s not to love? Try the grouper sandwich and check out the fun gift shop. Find them on

CONGRATULATIONS!

Facebook. New and already generating a big buzz is Bill’s By the Beach. And they do mean “by the beach,” as you’ll dine with a lovely view of the Gulf. Of course, any of the seafood dishes prepared by Chef Vincent Cofer are winners, but try a catch of the day prepared “New Orleans style” and enjoy heaven. Flights of wine are another special here…how about a Grayson Chardonnay, followed by a Kiona Riseling, followed by a St. Supery Sauvignon Blanc? Salud! billsbythebeach. com Should you be visiting premier shopping destination The Wharf in Orange Beach, your nose may well lead you straight to Villaggio Grille. Another great wine list, and can we just say “truffle honey shrimp with risotto”? villagiogrille. com Hardcore foodies may even want to Sleigh bells may not be jingling, but… You won’t miss them at Bellingrath’s Magic Christmas in Lights in Theodore, AL. Three million lights, 12 scenes, and a fully decorated house to tour. Opens Nov. 29 and runs through Dec. 31. bellingrath.org

take time to take a class at the Gulf Coast Culinary Institute. Find out what they’re offering during your stay at faulknerstate.edu Special note: Environmentalists in the Gulf have embarked on a mission that might be called “If You Can’t Beat ’ Em, Eat ’Em.” Lionfish, not native to the area, and believed to have been released by Florida aquarium owners, have infested local reefs. Their spines are poisonous, they have no natural predators in the region, and they eat huge numbers of native fish and crustaceans. So, the Gulf Coast Lionfish Coalition was formed, and is now promoting the consumption of lionfish. These fish are not poisonous once the spines are removed, and the light, flaky flesh makes, for example, a tasty fish taco. Look for lionfish on local menus and help the Gulf get rid of an invasive species. And for a truly unique holiday treat, reserve now for “Coastal Christmas with Aaron Neville,” Dec. 5 at the Orange Beach Center at The Wharf. The soulful singer will celebrate the season in his own sublime way. Tickets are $50, visit http://coastalchristmasconcert.eventbrite. com/?aff=CVBEventsPage

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TRAVEL GUIDE

Big Holiday, Big Fun, Big Easy New Orleans knows how to celebrate the season. Be there. Story by Leith Tigges, photos courtesy New Orleans Convention & Visitors Bureau

winkling Christmas tree lights, snowman-printed gift wrap, local radio stations blaring traditional carols– it’s no surprise the holiday season is dubbed “the most wonderful time of the year.” Bring yourself down to New Orleans and that most wonderful time gets even better.

You almost certainly won’t have a white Christmas in New Orleans (or a day under 60 degrees, for that matter), but the city’s rich history and variety of events and activities more than make up for it. The city is like a cultural puzzle. Divided up into the Garden District, Mid City, the Central Business District, the Warehouse District, Downtown, and the French Quarter, each area offers something different and exciting during any and every time of the year, whether it’s an ordinary Tuesday afternoon or New Year’s Eve. New Orleans goes all out for the holidays, offering colorful and extravagant décor, delicious feasts with holidaythemed menus crafted by expert chefs, and, of course, plenty of visits from St. Nick. The Big Easy might be best known for its crazy festivals and Mardi Gras parties, but the city takes on something new during the holiday sea-

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son. The air becomes charged with the Christmas spirit as families decorate their homes and prepare to celebrate all of the upcoming events within the city. Special activities occur each night of December, extravagant Christmas decorations dot the streets of the city’s beautiful Garden District, and families and friends get together to celebrate the holiday season. Here’s a list of a few to consider: Caroling at Jackson Square Classic Christmas at its finest. Many people associate Christmas caroling with a sort of fairy-tale idea of the holiday season, but down here in the French Quarter of New Orleans, it’s the real deal. Strolling around Jackson Square in the French Quarter has been a major holiday tradition since the ’40s and gets bigger and more popular every year. Always held on the Sunday before Christmas, candles are lit and song sheets are provided for the caroling event on Dec. 21 at 7 p.m. Both professional and amateur singers participate. patioplanters.org, (504) 220-8300

You almost certainly won’t have a white Christmas in New Orleans, but the city’s rich history and variety of events and activities more than make up for it.”

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Snake and Jake’s Christmas Club Lounge Snake and Jake’s is a year-round bar that screams New Orleans. Big names like George Clooney and Johnny Depp have sipped beers at this shack-like building nestled between the quaint residential homes in New Orleans’ Garden District. If you’re looking for a bit of a break from the holiday hoopla, Snake and Jake’s is the place. NOLA resident Nick Friend says, “Before midnight, Snake and Jake’s is a great place to go for a quiet drink. After midnight, it’s a great place to go to see some crazy people in crazy costumes.” (The bar opens daily at 7 p.m.) The Christmas Club Lounge is the definition of a dive bar, but offers a truly memorable experience. This is the place to either start or end your night (or both), as the entire bar relies on light from strings of Christmas-tree lights. In short, Snake and Jake’s is legendary and not to be missed, no matter what time of year. snakeandjakes.com, (504) 861-2802

Roosevelt Hotel’s Lobby Lighting Innumerable lights glow in the birch trees of the block-long Waldorf Lobby of New Orleans’ Roosevelt Hotel. The extensive lobby lighting has been a holiday staple since the 1930s. Featuring the legendary Sazerac Bar and Teddy’s Café, the scene only gets better each year, with extravagant Christmas décor dotted throughout this beautiful and historical spot. Employee Norma Dietz has seen four Christmases at the elegant hotel and calls it “absolutely beautiful.” Dietz went on to add, “All of New Orleans’ iconic hotels participate in decorating for the holidays, but what sets the Roosevelt apart is the gingerbread village.” The hotel’s pastry maker, Debbie Heyd (the appointed creator of said gingerbread village) says that the annual lighting of the lobby will occur on Dec. 2 at 5:45 p.m. this year. “It really gets people in the spirit,” Dietz says. Go take a look with friends and grab a drink at the Sazerac—or bring the whole family along and create a new Christmas tradition

that will last for generations. theroosevelneworleans.com (504) 648-1200 Reveillon Dinners This French-style Christmas tradition dates back to the 19th century. The dinner was started by the NOLA Creoles as an elaborate meal after mass to commemorate the holidays. These dinners are known for being huge and extravagant as local restaurants create intricate four-course menus to enjoy throughout the entire month of December. The tradition has morphed from a stay-at-home event to an out-and-about one, but the intimacy has remained intact. Chefs experiment to produce dishes that pay tribute to the Creoles with a modern twist. Chef and owner

Andrea Apuzzo of Andrea’s Restaurant has been participating in the Reveillon dinners for 30 years. “We decorate the restaurant very beautifully with five or six different Christmas trees—the kids love it. We like to please our guests with several options, like our main entrée of venison as well as the Italian sausage with broccoli rabe. It’s a huge festivity that people come for years and years to celebrate.” holiday.neworleansonline.com Mardi Gras isn’t the only time of year that New Orleans knows how to celebrate. Whether it’s a one-time visit or an annual tradition, spending the holidays in New Orleans is a special treat you and your loved ones will always remember.

Krewe of Kringle Pub Crawl Plenty of bars and cities host Christmas-themed pub crawls, but, naturally, it’s a whole other bar-hop down in the Big Easy. NOLA’s annual Krewe of Kringle Pub Crawl starts Dec.14 at 6 p.m. this year and will feature a parade-like stroll through the French Quarter streets to visit the best bars. Both locals and tourists are invited to join in along with the reindeer, sleighs, snowmen, marching bands and countless Santas. Get creative with the costumes and let loose. This is the French Quarter’s first and only Christmas-themed parade, so expect to go all out in spreading some Christmas cheer. Registration fee is $20. kreweofkringle.com

chattanoogapulse.com • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 11

Historic Rugby, Tennessee will charm and relax you Story by Janis Hashe

880. Thomas Hughes, British utopian reformer and author of the classic “Tom Brown’s Schooldays,” arrives in a remote area on the Cumberland Plateau, fired up with a new scheme. He would found a “new centre of human life” in the tiny hamlet, rechristen it “Rugby” after his old school, and lure second and third sons of noble English families, eager to make their own lives outside of the rigid primogeniture system. Oh, those Utopians! During the 19th century, they included Americans Bronson Alcott (father of Louisa May), John Humphrey Noyes (founder of the Oneida silverware company) and Nathaniel Hawthorne. How idealistic, adorable and completely impractical they all were! But in the case of Rugby, Hughes and his converts, both English and American, did manage to create an entire town, complete with church and library, which struggled on (minus the

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Utopia) until the 1950s, when Rugby became a near-ghost town. Even boarding house Newbury House stood empty and decaying. Enter another idealist. In 1966, very young Brian Stagg, who had grown up nearby, mustered a group of volunteers determined to rescue and restore the village. Through the efforts of Stagg, his family and this group, by 1972, “the Rugby Colony Historic District” had been placed on the National Registry of Historic Places. And the founding and popularity of nearby Big South Fork National River and Recreation Area bolstered tourism. Rugby was saved, and remains a perfect weekend getaway for those who love both history and the outdoors. There are a number of accommodations options in Rugby, but likely the most fun is the actual Newbury House itself, now restored and furnished with period antiques. Owned and operated by Historic Rugby, it’s a B&B, but breakfast is served down the road at the delightful Harrow Road Café (the only place in town

Said to be haunted, peaceful Newbury House, with no in-room TVs but plenty of books, is a step back into the past —a charming one.”

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Photo: Historic Rugby

TRAVEL GUIDE

Finding Utopia on the Cumberland Plateau

to eat). Be aware there is no onsite host at Newbury House—on arrival in Rugby, check in at the Visitor Centre and get the keys that allow you access to the house and your room. Said to be haunted, peaceful Newbury House, with no in-room TVs but plenty of books, is a step back into the past—a charming one. While at the Visitor Centre, take the time to watch the extremely well made short film on the village’s history, and take the guided tour of some of the restored buildings. You’ll see Kingston Lisle, Thomas Hughes’ own house, the exquisite Christ Church Episcopal (still in use), the schoolhouse, and, a must for bibliophiles, the Thomas Hughes Library, almost unchanged since 1882 and housing more than 7,000 of the original volumes. (Be sure and look for the tiny red leather sleeve housing a miniature “Complete Works of Shakespeare.” The Rugby Commissary is a recon-

struction of the original town co-op, and sells materials on Rugby, as well as arts and crafts from the area, some unique. Open on occasion is the Rugby Printing Works, which still operates and is furnished as it would have been in the 1880s. A wonderful afternoon at Rugby can be spent on a short wander through the Laurel Dale Cemetery, where many of the original colonists are buried, and then a hike on the two-mile Gentlemen’s Swimming Hole/Meeting of the Waters trail, which starts from the cemetery. Before the loop concludes, you’ll see the intersection of the Clear Fork River with White Oak Creek— and take a break to gaze at the swimming hole where all those second and third sons frolicked before hightailing it back to England. For those who want more outdoor challenges, making Rugby your headquarters for forays into the Big South Fork, which offers hiking, mountain

Photo: Janis Hashe

biking and much more, is ideal. As you might imagine, evenings in the village are quiet, but treat yourself to a good homestyle meal (accompanied by a small-but-nice choice of beers and wines) at the Harrow Road Café, where, if you’re there on a Friday night, you may get drawn into a group sing-along by the bluegrass players. During the holidays, special events take place. On Nov. 28, Rugby hosts the Thanksgiving Marketplace and the

annual British Cream Tea at Newbury House. (Tea requires reservations). And for a real Victorian Christmas treat, Dec. 6 and 13 are “Christmas in Rugby” nights, with caroling, visits from Father Christmas, and village festivities. The Café will offer a special Holiday Dinner on those nights. Quilters, threads up: Apr. 10-11, 2015 will mark “Rugby Quilts: Wave the Red, White & Blue.” For more info, email Debbie at harrismd2@gmail.com

Travelers’ Note: As off-the-beaten-path is Rugby is, mapping devices haven’t caught up with it yet, and have been known to land the unwary in the middle of a field. Locals recommend using the actual address: Historic Rugby, P.O. Box 8, Rugby TN 37733, to look up

directions. It’s a gorgeous drive, but on winding mountain roads. Be prepared to take your time—just as the original colonists did. For more info and to book accommodations, visit historicrugby.org or call (423) 6282441.

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Photo: Janis Hashe

Photo: Historic Rubgy

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chattanoogapulse.com • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 13

MUSIC SCENE

Rippling Hips For Charity Sixth Annual Fringe Benefit Supports The Partnership for Children, Family and Adults

Light Goes the Weather-wind Folk-pop, folk-rock enchant the Camp House The Camp House is hosting folkpop band Bombadil this Saturday at 7:30 p.m. Taking their name from J.R.R. Tolkien’s charismatic forestdweller Tom Bombadil, the band takes advantage of the connection, marketing themselves as upbeat and magical. And those are two words that can certainly be used to describe their music. Bombadil’s songs are quick and to the point—that kind of feel-good music you would listen to while driving aimlessly on a sunny autumn day. The band is made up of three guys from North Carolina, who all sing harmonies and play multiple instruments, of which the primary ones are drums, bass, ukulele and piano. The recently available album Metrics of Affection, released in July of 2013, is another step forward for

Bombadil’s folk-pop sound. The album focuses more on vocality and catchiness than previous releases and shows off that quintessential good feeling music that Bombadil is known for. Opening for Bombadil is Knoxville-based folk-rock band William Wild. William Wild combines chill vocal harmonies, staccato guitar riffs, swelling strings, beautiful piano and dynamic drums. The outcome is music that sneaks down your throat, music that crawls onto your spine. — Zach Nicholson Bombadil, William Wild Saturday, 7:30 p.m. The Camp House 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com

thu11.13

fri11.14

sat11.15

organ master

stringed fun

glow sticks

Rosemary Bailey

Chattanooga Acoustic Showcase

Glowing Bordis

She’s played with Duke Ellington, Victor Border, and Peter Nero, among many others. 7 p.m. Summitt Pianos 6209 Lee Hwy. summittpianos.com

The best of Chattanooga’s unplugged musical talent. 7 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org

A big locals-only night with Marinia Orchestra and Jordan Hallquist and the Outfit. 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

14 • The Pulse • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

his is a music column, a space reserved for information about local and regional bands, their shows, their music and all things related. I was recruited specifically to write about such things. “So why,” you may be asking yourself if you skipped past this introduction to see who the article was about this week, “are you writing about a belly dance performance?”

Music MARC T. MICHAEL

“

What is dance in general and belly dance specifically if not music given physical form?”

Good question. There are three reasons: 1) It is a charitable event, raising money for a good cause that deserves all the support it can get; 2) There will be live music there featuring one of the greatest acts in the area and also some Irish band you’ve probably never heard of; 3) What is dance in general and belly dance specifically if not music given physical form? That’s my justification and I’m sticking to it. The Sixth Annual Fringe Benefit will be held on Sunday, Nov. 16 at Ripple Theater, 3264 Brainerd Road. Doors open at 7 p.m. and the event begins at 7:30. One hundred percent of the money raised will be given directly to The Partnership for Children, Families and Adults to support their Family and Sexual Violence programs. This year’s special guest artist is worldrenowned dancer Mira Betz. Betz is one of the most sought-after belly dance performers, instructors and choreographers in the world today. Her grace, wit and charm make her one of the most beloved as well. As one of the founding members of Aywah! Ethnic Dance Company, Betz has played a direct role in the emergence and popularity of fusion tribal belly dance in the past decade. The event also features local dancers performing a variety of original solo and group choreographies, as well as special

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Dancer Mira Betz

musical guests Danimal Planet and the Molly Maguires. Danimal Planet, the creation of musical phenom Danimal Pinson, has been featured in this publication and is a popular and highly respected act in the region. The Molly Maguires have achieved some small degree of notoriety for their interpretations of traditional and modern Celtic music (and legendary bar tabs). Generous donations and corporate sponsors have enabled the event to provide an open bar with beer and wine, light hor d’oeuvres, a photo booth and a silent auction. Admission is $20 in advance and $25 at the door for adults 21 and up, $15 for young adults and teens. Children 10 and under are admitted free.

Now in its sixth year, the benefit seeks to provide top-notch artistic talent while generating much-needed funds for local charities serving women. The event was originally conceived by founding Mirabai member Miranda Cagle who has this to say: “Belly dance is such an empowering form of dance and expression. It gives so many women the freedom to love their bodies, find community with one another and walk with pride and ownership of themselves. We created this event in to try to share and nurture those feelings, to offer the identity, strength and grace we find in this dance to help heal women who are struggling in our area and hopefully help them rediscover and embrace their own power.” chattanoogapulse.com • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 15

LIVE MUSIC NOVEMBER

13 FRI DEPARTURE 10p 14 RUBIK'S GROOVE SAT 10p 15 CANEY VILLAGE WED 9p 19 THU WHO'S BAD 9p 20 FRI ZOSO 10p 21 MITCH ROSSELL BAND SAT 9p 22 CHATTANOOGA UNPLUGGED:

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SPECIAL EVENT: 11.26 VELCRO PYGMIES ANNUAL THANKSGIVING EVE EXTRAVAGANZA

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MUSIC CALENDAR

CHATTANOOGA

Raelynn

thursday11.13 CSO Lunchtime Concert Series 11:30 a.m. Warehouse Row 1110 Market St. chattanoogasymphony.org Live Jazz 6 p.m. The Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Bluegrass & Country Jam 6:30 p.m. Grace Church of Nazarene 6310 Dayton Blvd. chattanoogagrace.com Live Bluegrass 6:30 p.m. Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 702-7300 Soddy-Daisy Jamboree 7 p.m. Soddy-Daisy Community Center 190 Depot St. (423) 332-1702 Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Rosemary Bailey 7 p.m. Summitt Pianos 6209 Lee Hwy. summittpianos.com Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m. The Camp House 1427 WIlliams St.

16 • The Pulse • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

thecamphouse.com Jesse James, Tim Neal 7:30 p.m. Mexi Wings VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 296-1073 Caverna, The Red Rogues, Caney Village 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Black Light Crush, A Cat a King 9 p.m. The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191

Pulse Pick: Josh Gilbert With a passionate and soulful voice, Josh Gilbert’s music features a dynamic vocal range, creative and catchy hooks, tight rhythms and picturesque lyrics. Josh Gilbert Sunday, 2 p.m. Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com

friday11.14 Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Ceilidh Celtic Ensemble 7 p.m. Creative Arts Guild 520 W Waugh St. creativeartsguild.org River City Sessions 7 p.m. The Camp House 1427 WIlliams St. thecamphouse.com

Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Chattanooga Acoustic Showcase 7 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Five Plus Six 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org The Crew 8 p.m. American Legion Post 81 227 James Asbury Ln. (423) 476-4451 Rick Rushing & the Blue Strangers 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Mark Andrew 9 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Departure, Matt Stephens Band 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Ethos, Scenic, Vena Cava 10 p.m. Sluggo’s North 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224

MUSIC CALENDAR

Frenchy and the Punk New Planet, Sol Sermon, Swimwear 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Roughwork 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

saturday11.15 Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Bluegrass Jamboree 6 p.m. Harrison Ruritan Club 5709 Tyner Ln. harrisonruritanclub.webs.com Bombadil, William Wild 7:30 p.m. The Camp House 1427 WIlliams St. thecamphouse.com Arson 8 p.m. Sky Zoo 5709 Lee Hwy. chattazooga.com Paul Smith and the Sky High Band 8 p.m.

American Legion Post 81 227 James Asbury Ln. (423) 476-4451 Rick Rushing & the Blue Strangers 8:30 p.m. The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Glowing Bordis, Marinia Orchestra, Jordan Hallquist and the Outfit 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Rubik’s Groove 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Hap Henninger 10 p.m. The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191

sunday11.16 Josh Gilbert 2 p.m. Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Cadek Community Orchestra 3 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. utc.edu Sunday Night Irish Music Jam Session 5 p.m. Grocery Bar

1501 Long St. grocerybar.com Savage Monster, Mudsex, Generator Earth 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

monday11.17 Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com

tuesday11.18 Rick’s Blues Jam 7 p.m. Folk School of Chattanooga 1200 Mountain Creek Rd. chattanoogafolk.com Tim Starnes, Davey Smith 7 p.m. Sugar’s Downtown 507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com Raelynn Track 29 7 p.m. 1400 Market St. track29.co UTC Orchestra 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. utc.edu Frenchy and the Punk 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia

231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

901 Carter St Inside City Cafe 423-634-9191 Thursday, November 13: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, November 14: 9pm Mark Andrew Saturday, November 15: 10pm Hap Henninger Tuesday, November 18: 7pm Server/Hotel Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

●

wednesday11.19

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m. El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonrestaurant.com No Big Deal 6 p.m. SpringHill Suites Downtown 495 Riverfront Pkwy. (423) 834-9300 thepalmsathamilton.com Dan Sheffield 7:30 p.m. Sugar’s Downtown 507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com UTC Jazz Band 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center 752 Vine St. utc.edu Caney Village, Jess Goggans 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Bones Jugs N Harmony, Lon Eldridge 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

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chattanoogapulse.com • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 17

Stock up for the holiday season with our great selection of wine, spirits & high gravity beer.

Record Reviews

ERNIE PAIK

Kiwi Indie Rock, Brit Free Improv Kilgour invigorates, Frith and Butcher nourish and perple

David Kilgour and the Heavy Eights End Times Undone (Merge)

Come see why we’re the liquor store with a smile...

3849 Dayton Blvd. • Ste. 113 423.877.1787 At the corner of Morrison Springs Road and Dayton Boulevard in the Bi-Lo Shopping Center

o history of New Zealand indie rock is complete without a chapter on The Clean—the legendary trio of brothers David and Hamish Kilgour (guitar and drums, respectively) with Robert Scott (bass) that has served up stirring, driving rock-pop that does a lot with a little. Infectious numbers like “Tally Ho!,” “Odditty” (sic) and “Draw(in)g to a (W)hole” are rightful classics, marked with Hamish’s meaty motorik-esque drumming, a punk simplicity and an irrepressible joy. The 2002 2-CD compilation Anthology is a perfect introduction—which was recently reissued by Merge as a 4-disc vinyl set—but those wanting to do a deeper dive will be rewarded by the proper full-lengths, up to 2009’s excellent Mister Pop. It’s also a perfect time to delve into the non-Clean (unclean, and Great Unwashed) output of guitarist/vocalist David Kilgour,

18 • The Pulse • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Fred Frith and John Butcher The Natural Order (Northern Spy)

both as a solo artist and with his backing band the Heavy Eights. Kilgour’s latest full-length is End Times Undone, and it reflects the consistency he has demonstrated over his entire career; superficially, it’s not very different than his other Heavy Eights releases, often using locomotive chord repetition to draw in and hypnotize the listener, somewhat akin to mid-’80s Feelies material. However, consistency is a good thing in Kilgour’s case, as he rarely releases something halfbaked or sub-par. Those familiar with Kilgour’s catalog won’t be surprised here, although a few diversions exist, like the keyboardenhanced “I Don’t Want to Live Alone” which is simultaneously spare, wistful and optimistic. The album starts off well and actually gets better toward the end, with “Down the Tubes” being a high point, with glorious stabbing chords and a satisfying feeling of revelation.

It’s refreshing to hear music that isn’t painfully derivative, and while End Times Undone isn’t exactly groundbreaking music, it has a sort of timeless quality to it—it’s all about an honest, invigorating delivery rather than mapping out new ground.

ome music can be safely tuned out, barely registering in a person’s consciousness while flipping through magazines waiting for a dental appointment or going on autopilot, insufficiently caffeinated on the morning commute. And some music—ambient music, in particular—is intended to be “as ignorable as it is interesting,” to quote Brian Eno. Then we have an album like The Natural Order, made by two British improv giants, guitarist Fred Frith and saxophonist John Butcher, which is the complete opposite of background music. This is not a “listen to this on headphones album while you

attempt to get work done”—it is too varied, fluid, strange and complicated to be ignored. Now, being impossible to ignore isn’t always a good thing— think of a screaming child—but in this case, the vast and impossibly sprawling sound inventory of the duo is both richly nourishing and perplexing, with the listener constantly thinking, “How on earth do they make these sounds?” The Natural Order is a studio recording from 2009, finally released after being mixed in 2012, with no overdubs, and presented in the order in which it was recorded. Over an astounding 45-plus-year career, in bands including Henry Cow, Art Bears, Massacre and Naked City, Frith hasn’t softened or tired a bit, sounding as curious and stimulating as ever with dexterous electric guitar work, sharpened with agitated distortion. For the last three decades, Butcher has proved to be one of the most skilled and astounding free improvising saxophonists around, effortlessly playing difficult multiphonics and utilizing extended techniques. “Faults of His Feet” is a scampering, noisy number with tight patterns, while “Turning Away in Time” expresses subtleties within the interplay between the two, with Butcher cooing and mesmerizing and Frith carefully shaping his notes with his volume pedal. Like nearly all free improv, The Natural Order can be difficult listening, but it is far from being pointless noodling, presenting two masters with fiery imaginations and formidable performing talents who go past conventional thought and can keenly articulate their wild ideas into sound.

Are We Going Back to “Drill, Baby, Drill”? “

Congress’ antienvironment ideologues are out of touch with the public on these issues.”

Sandra Kurt is an environmental community activist and is presently working through the Urban Century Institute. Visit her website at enviroedu.net

The midterm election Committee, and has stated is over, and with it, its ads. that she will work to approve Given the outcome, however, the Keystone Pipeline. those who care about the enGuess who is the next chairvironment should urge conman of the Committee on Entinued gridlock in Congress. vironment and Public Works? The electorate says they want Senator James Inhofe. He’s Congress to do something— the one who wrote “The yet many Greatest do-nothing Hoax: How incumbents Global Shades of Green the were reelectWa r m i n g ed. Conspiracy SANDRA KURTZ From an Threatens environmenYour Futal perspective, it’s bad news. ture.” He will attack both cliThis Congress is not likely to mate change efforts and the pass anything remotely good Environmental Protection for the environment as they Agency (EPA) Clean Power revert back to “drill, baby, Plan to reduce carbon emisdrill.” Senator Mitch McConsions. Some legislators want nell will be leading the charge to eliminate EPA altogether. to get rid of regulations for Harry Reid’s exit as Senthe oil, gas, coal, and mining ate Majority leader opens avindustries, thereby allowing enues for more financial loans more pollution for all. These for nuclear power plants, alindustries are exempted from ready heavily on the public the Federal Clean Water Act, dole. As long as these unsafe, Federal Drinking Water Act, outdated behemoths continResource Conservation Reue to exist, taxpayer money covery Act, and the Compreis held hostage. We should hensive Environmental Reuse it instead to establish response, Compensation, and newable energy, eliminating Liability Act. an increase in the radioactive Senator Lisa Murkowski, waste legacy and the buildup supported by industry lobof unneeded nuclear weapons byists, will chair the Energy for which we pay the bill.

Also, expect a push for toxic chemical law “reform” written by the toxic chemical industry itself. Big Food will push to prohibit citizens from knowing if their food contains genetically engineered ingredients. Sadly, one can’t expect much help from our Tennessee legislators. The League of Conservation Voters rates our legislators’ pro-environment votes as low as 4 percent (Chuck Fleischmann). At the state level, when legislators feel business and industry come first, and with fewer sources of revenue (dictated by passage of Amendment 3), the environment will have very few advocates and few who have real power. It’s not a good sign when legislators eliminate “environment” from the names of the committees making environmental decisions. The Tennessee Department of Environment & Conservation (TDEC) must reduce its budget another seven percent, meaning less staff with less ability to enforce existing regulations. Advocates for less government may be pleased by this state of affairs. However,

when your family member is sickened by toxic-laden food or water, or a company wants to build a landfill next to you, or a gas company plans hydrofracking for natural gas on your property, or you become ill from nuclear radiation emissions, or the Watts Bar dam breaks, you won’t want to hear your government official say, “Oh, gee, we can’t do anything for you. Because of deregulation and budgetcutting, no one is keeping tabs on performance or permitting.” Is there hope? Sure, but it’s going to take time and education. Earthjustice President Trip Van Noppen says, “Poll after poll shows strong public support on both sides of the aisle for climate, clean air and water protections. Congress’ anti-environment ideologues are out of touch with the public on these issues.” Let’s work locally for wise use of revenues to maintain a green economy with clean water, air, and soil, healthy food, and environmentally friendly infrastructure. Meanwhile, hope for gridlock in Congress, lest the protections we now have in place disappear.

INSTRUCTOR PORTFOLIO SALE Saturday, December 6 10am to 9pm

201 West Main Street Chattanooga, TN • 423.266.2712 townsendatelier.com

Featuring the works of: Mia Bergeron, Durinda Cheek, Angela Cunningham, Caleb Goggans, Laura Bohon Hausler, John McLeod, Kirsten Stingle, Stan Townsend, Brett Weaver, and Maria Willison. chattanoogapulse.com • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 19

ARTS SCENE

The Artist Emerges and Evolves

End Justifies The Means? World premiere play at ETC tackles a global issue The Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga (ETC) has demonstrated a commitment to develop and present new plays and musicals. “Colonel Pilate”—the latest incarnation of that commitment—debuts on Thursday, Nov. 13. The play was written by Aleksey Scherbak and translated by John J. Hanlon. In the world of the play, a major military force has invaded a smaller country, seeking out a Muslim extremist who is allegedly responsible for several bombings. “The script is purposefully vague on certain details of the story so as not to define itself by any one specific military conflict,” commented director Garry Lee Posey. “It is certainly reminiscent of both the many conflicts between the U.S. and the Middle East over radical terrorists, as

it is with the current Russian invasion of the Ukraine.” Scherbak and Hanlon have crafted what they hope to be a universal production that speaks not to specific real situations, but to the bigger picture of the consequences of military occupation from a larger, stronger force. The show will run Thurs-Sat at 7:30 p.m. and Sundays at 2:30 p.m., Nov. 13-23. General admission tickets are $15 for adults and $10 for students with a valid student ID. — Rachael Poe “Colonel Pilate” Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga. com

FRI11.14

SAT11.15

Sun11.16

reading time

sing and dance

fashion fun

Fall Book Sale

CSO: “Pirates of Penzance”

Chattanooga Market: Fall Fashion Show

Who says operatta has to be incomprehensible? Certainly not these musical swashbucklers! 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583 chattanoogasymphony.org

Chattanooga’s best designers share (and sell) their latest designs, perfect for holiday shopping. 11 a.m. The Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com

The Friends of the Library are hosting their annual book sale with lots of great buys and bargains. 9 a.m. Eastgate Town Center 5600 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 757-5425 friendsofthelibrarychattanooga.com

20 • The Pulse • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Shadow May’s new exhibit at the AVA Gallery is a tipping point

ake a long look at “Emerge,” the largest sculpture in Shadow May’s new exhibit at AVA. At more than three feet tall, the clay piece is impressive simply for its size—but there’s much more to the story than that.

Arts janis hashe

“

The sculptures themselves seem to be morphing as we view them, and clay is the choice of an artist that accepts its potential damage or disintegration.”

“Emerge” might well be the best word to describe the artist’s own journey. It’s always fascinating to watch an artist’s evolution over the years. As many in the community know, May began as a potter, creating beautiful, functional wares that surely adorn many kitchens and dining rooms in the area. Yet there was always something beyond pure function in his designs, some abstraction, some thoughtful construction. And he began more experimentation in clay, using the plastic but difficult and delicate medium to create sculptural forms. In “Ephemeral Forms: Works by Shadow May,” we see his best work yet. The word “ephemeral” is an apt choice, meaning “transitory” and “impermanent.” The sculptures themselves seem to be morphing as we view them, and clay is the choice of an artist that accepts its potential damage or disintegration. Last year, May won “Best in Show” in AVA’s annual Juried Members show, which meant he would get his own exhibit this year. The pieces shown here represent several series of ideas, along with stand-alone sculptures such as “Emerge.” There are three “Nucleus” pieces, smaller sculptures featuring May’s rounded and overlapping forms, which as he has expressed, seem to have been formed

by nature rather than man—until you notice, as in “Nucleus Series #3,” the “tabbing” of the forms together, with no attempt by the artist to hide the linkage. May has described this as “emphasizing the seams.” In the “Crayola” series, May plays with brilliant color, a stark contrast to the light, textured glazes used on most of his pieces. Thick, slick color coats the bright red “Crayola Series #4,” “Crayola Series #1” is the blue of a high-school band uniform, and the piece AVA has chosen to display in its window, “Crayola Series #1,” which against the light appears black, on closer inspection is actually a deep purple. This last sculpture again combines some of May’s signature details, such as whorls, evoking a cross-section of a nautilus shell, and openings or orifices (which can remind viewers of the spouts and openings of the functional pieces) with long tube shapes, as though several found objects had been sealed together by a long immersion in the sea. “Voidology,” though in shapes and colors closer to the “natural” pieces, builds a bridge between the two series with its heavy, creamy glaze, which looks as if it was poured over the clay, slightly obscuring the incised markings. The name of “Bronto” is likely a sly

joke on May’s part. The piece does in fact evoke a dinosaur’s skull—but as Prof. Disbrow would remind us, science has debunked the existence of an actual Brontosaurus; the bones once considered the specie’s skeleton having been reassigned to other dinosaurs. The implication would seem to be that although nature might be the inspiration for May’s work, it is also an imaginative act, creating, rather than copying, form. And so we come round again to the stunning “Emerge.” A sweeping semi-circle of clay—might it be part of a platter?—thrusts its torn edge away from a curved, geometric slab. Both are mounted on a series of shapes that contains what resembles a vase, and the entire structure, dwindling to a point, needs its metal mount to sustain its balance. Beautiful, classical and modern all at once, this is the star of this exhibit. Collectors, take note: Shadow May’s work is already featured in galleries in Knoxville, Georgia, North Carolina, Illinois and in California’s Santa Barbara Museum of Art. This would be the time to acquire one of his sculptures. “Ephemeral Forms: Works by Shadow May,” through Nov. 25, AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave, (423) 265-4282, avarts.org chattanoogapulse.com • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 21

ARTS CALENDAR thursday11.13

for more info call 706.820.2531

See RockCity.com

Make Plans for the

Our biggest one yet!

Opens Nov. 21

Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m. Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com National Novel Writing Month Meetup 5 p.m. Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org The Chattery Presents “Friendsgiving” 5:30 p.m. Dish T’ Pass 302 W. 6th St. (423) 309-5353 thechattery.org 3rd Annual CIO Auction 6 p.m. Loose Cannon Gallery 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 826-8700 chattanoogatechnologycouncil.org Artful Holiday Shopping 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Booksigning: “The Body Tourist” by Dana Shavin 7 p.m. The Jewish Cultural Center 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Aida Rodriguez

22 • The Pulse • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

“Fantastic Mr. Fox” 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Colonel Pilate” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

friday11.14 Photographic Society of Chattanooga Winter Reception 6:30 p.m. The Gallery at Blackwell 71 Eastgate Loop (423) 344-5643 chattanoogaphoto.org

Pulse Pick: Aida Rodriguez A Top 8 finalist in 2014’s Last Comic Standing, her edgy, raw and in-yourface style of comedy has set her apart during the six years she has been entertaining audiences. Aida Rodriguez The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

Aida Rodriguez 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Caroline, or Change” 7:30 p.m. Ripple Theater 3264 Brainerd Rd. (423) 600-9242 rippletheater.com “Colonel Pilate” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com “Fantastic Mr. Fox” 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534

theatrecentre.com “The Roar of the Greasepaint—The Smell of the Crowd” 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246

saturday11.15 D9 5K Hot Cocoa Run/Walk 7 a.m. Veterans Memorial Park Oooltewah James, Collegedale (423) 443-0872 d9strong.com Brainerd Farmers’ Market 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 698-0330 Hixson Farmers’ Market 10 a.m. St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-1342 Bread Baking Class 10 a.m. UT-TSU Extension 6183 Adamson Circle extension.tennesee. edu/hamilton Flower Show/Exhibit: “A Night at the Movies” 11 a.m. Heritage House Arts Center 1428 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-9474 Red, White, and Blue Color Run

ARTS CALENDAR

“Invocation” at NGCA Noon UTC Aquatic Recreation Center 601 E. 5th St. redwhiteandblue5k.org Snow Day at Creative Discovery Museum Noon Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Artful Yoga 1:30 p.m. Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “Fantastic Mr. Fox” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Chattanooga’s 175th Birthday Sunset Cruise 4 p.m. River Gorge Explorer 201 Riverfront Pkwy. (423) 267-3474 tnaqua.org Aida Rodriguez 7:30, 9:45 p.m. The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Caroline, or Change” 7:30 p.m. Ripple Theater 3264 Brainerd Rd. (423) 600-9242 rippletheater.com “Colonel Pilate”

7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com CSO: “Pirates of Penzance” 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 267-8583 chattanoogasymphony.org “The Roar of the Greasepaint—The Smell of the Crowd” 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246 “Duke, Monk and Dolly: Big Band Jazz” 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

sunday11.16 Chattanooga Market: Fall Fashion Show 11 a.m. The Chattanooga Market 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com “Colonel Pilate” 2:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 602-8640 ensembletheatreof-

chattanooga.com “Fantastic Mr. Fox” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com “The Roar of the Greasepaint—The Smell of the Crowd” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246 “Caroline, or Change” 3 p.m. Ripple Theater 3264 Brainerd Rd. (423) 600-9242 rippletheater.com The 6th Annual Fringe Benefit 7 p.m. Ripple Theatre 3264 Brainerd Rd. (423) 401-8115 movementartscollective.com Aida Rodriguez 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

monday11.17 Christmas Bazaar 6 a.m. Downtown YMCA 301 W. 6th St. (423) 266-3766 ymcachattanooga.org

The Backlot: A Place for Filmmakers 6:30 p.m. Heritage House 1428 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-9474

tuesday11.18 Christmas Bazaar 6 a.m. Downtown YMCA 301 W. 6th St. (423) 266-3766 ymcachattanooga.org

Named “One of the Ten Most Incredible Cave Waterfalls on Earth” World Reviewer

wednesday11.12 Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. 325 E Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com

RubyFalls.com

423.821.2544 Open Weekends!

ongoing Fall Book Sale Eastgate Town Center 5600 Brainerd Rd. (423) 757-5425 friendsofthelibrarychattanooga.com “Folk Art Show” Reflections Gallery 6922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072 reflectionsgallerytn.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

RubyFallsZip.com

chattanoogapulse.com • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 23

SCREEN SCENE

Great Fiction, Mediocre Science Beautiful “Interstellar” falls short on space accuracy. Very, very short.

Braving The Wild River Classic 1960 film gets the documentary treatment Southeastern Tennessee is no stranger to Hollywood. Recent productions of “42” and “Water for Elephants” spent a good bit of time in the Scenic City (and surrounding areas). But well before those film crews made their way down South, back in 1960, director Elia Kazan brought Montgomery Clift, Lee Remick and Jo Van Fleet to Charleston, Tennessee to film “Wild River.” Now, the Museum Center at 5ive Points is showing Allison Inman’s documentary film “Mud on the Stars: Stories from Elia Kazan’s Wild River,” in which she looks into what the

✴✴✴✴

making of the film was like for the local community, in a special screening on Tuesday evening. Local historians and residents who were involved with production will be on hand for a lively Q&A sesssion after the screen, along wtih Inman herself. “Mud on the Stars: Stories from Elia Kazan’s Wild River” Tuesday, 6 p.m. Museum Center at 5ive Points 200 Inman St., Cleveland, TN (423) 339-5745 museumcenter.org

NEW IN THEATERS

Dumb and Dumber To Twenty years since their first adventure, Harry finds out he has a daughter who was adopted. Lloyd and Harry try to find Harry’s adopted daughter. Directors: Bobby Farrelly | Peter Farrelly Stars: Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, Laurie Holden, Kathleen Turner

ood science fiction always asks complicated questions. The high-water mark of the genre is its willingness to confuse and obfuscate in the name of narrative integrity, rather than compromising the subject’s complexity for a potentially lost audience.

✴✴✴✴

Rosewater A journalist is detained in Iran for more than 100 days and brutally interrogated in prison, in Daily Show host Jon Stewart’s directorial debut, based on a true story. Director: Jon Stewart Stars: Gael García Bernal, Kim Bodnia, Dimitri Leonidas, Haluk Bilginer

24 • The Pulse • november 13, 2014 • holiday travel guide • chattanoogapulse.com

Screen JOHN DEVORE

“

The time distortions are likely the best part of the film, leading to powerful tension and emotional resonance.”

I don’t know many who understood the ending of “2001: A Space Odyssey” the first time they watched it. “Prime” is as perplexing on the fifth viewing as it is on the first. This isn’t to say that a science fiction film needs to be difficult for the sake of being difficult, but that the filmmakers need to trust the intelligence of their audience and tell the story the way it needs to be told. Swashbuckling in space, a la “Star Wars” or “Guardians of the Galaxy,” certainly has its place in the spectrum, but good sci-fi extends into more a cerebral and challenging arena. However, the filmmakers need to have a strong understanding of their subject, or they might find themselves looking silly. Christopher Nolan dipped his toes into the scifi waters in 2010 with his dreamscape drama “Inception” and found the experience to be gratifying. He returns there this year with a full-blown space exploration in “Interstellar.” Visually exciting and well cast, “Interstellar” only falls short because the questions it intends to ask are overshadowed by thin characterization and small inaccuracies in certain aspects of space travel. An Earth set a few generations in the future is experiencing a second dustbowl (with film clips taken directly from Ken Burns’ documentary on the subject) called The Blight. Nearly all the world’s crops have failed, leaving corn the last grain humans can plant and sustain. This is most certainly a testament to the har-

diness of the plant, and not because corn is the most cinematic of crops. As humanity prepares to starve and The Blight sets its sights on removing the world’s oxygen, NASA has gone underground to prepare to send humanity to the stars. There are a variety of political and social implications to the largely unnamed disaster of the previous years— the world has forgotten about space travel, claiming that the U.S. faked the moon landings to usher in the fall of the Soviet Union. A man named Cooper (Matthew McConaughey), a former NASA pilot turned farmer, discovers a gravitational anomaly in his daughter’s bedroom, leading him to learn of NASA’s plans and pilot humanity’s last hope for salvation. All of this happens very fast. As much as Cooper struggles with his decision to leave his family later, he seems to jump at the chance to abandon them within a span of a few minutes. There is some much-needed character development that happens offscreen, which is not the best way to tell a story. This pattern repeats itself over and over in the film. Much of the science content in the film has to do with relativity. Time is not uniform in the universe. It changes fluidly and is acted upon by forces of speed and gravity. The last generations of humanity have discovered a wormhole placed by unknown beings on the outskirt of Saturn, which leads to another universe with 10 potentially inhabitable planets. Probes and explorers have been sent, and those who successfully land

broadcast signals calling man to them, hoping to populate a new world. All of this is fine, as the interstellar distances are respected and space time is explained by the tried and true tesseract method. In fact, the time distortions are likely the best part of the film, leading to powerful tension and emotional resonance. But the smaller details are hard to overcome. For instance, how is it possible for a planet to exist close to a black hole and still have liquid water? Why is the black hole, a singularity from which even light can’t escape, so visible? Whose idea was it to name the black hole Gargantua? Why does a NASA ship need a rocket to escape Earth’s gravity but can take off like a Harrier jet on other planets with stronger gravity? If it takes two years to get to Saturn in our solar system, why are the planets in the second galaxy approximately 20 minutes apart? Where is the mad organist and why is he playing so loudly during important pieces of dialogue? All of these questions cycled through my head as the story unfolded onscreen, keeping me from investing fully in the characters. Good science fiction requires fewer glaring errors. Still, the film is visually wonderful and the score by Hans Zimmer is beautiful, if distracting at times. Christopher Nolan knows how to make stunning movies. However, “Interstellar” needed to tread closer to reality, both in the details and in the story. It needed to spend more time investigating the science, as well as a lesson in crafting the fiction.

Rosemary Bailey, who has appeared as a featured artist performing with Duke Ellington, Victor Border, and Peter Nero, appears one night only in concert at Summit Pianos. Audiences enjoy hearing this talented musician play live, performing arrangements that incorporate jazz and traditional popular styles—which have also made her popular as a musical director on several Broadway shows. Her performance is sponsored by Rodgers Instruments, part of the Roland group.

7pm, Thursday, Nov. 13 Free Admission

limited seating, RSVP to (423) 499-0600

Summitt Pianos & Organs 6209 Lee Highway • Chattanooga, TN • (423) 499-0600

chattanoogapulse.com • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 25

Mixology

rachael poe

A Spirited Love Story Amaretto is the stuff of legends…and cupcakes Legend says the origins of amaretto date back to the Italian Renaissance. In 1525, Bernardino Luini, one of Leonardo da Vinci’s pupils, was commissioned to paint a series of frescoes featuring the Madonna in the sanctuary of a church in Saronno, Italy. Luini found a beautiful local innkeeper to use as his model for the Madonna, and, in some versions of the story, the two became lovers. To show her appreciation, Luini’s muse prepared a gift for him: a flask filled with a sweet and fragrant amber liqueur. This was, of course, the first incarnation of what is now known as Disaronno Originale. Whether it’s true or not, this tale has sentimental value in Saronno culture, and the Disaronno Originale brand continues to disseminate it as the origin story of not just their brand, but of amaretto itself. (This is complicated by the fact that the Lazzaroni Amaretto brand also presents itself as the first such liqueur and tells a different sentimental tale, but that is a story for another day.) Whatever brand or story

you buy into, amaretto is an extremely useful—and delicious—addition to any liquor cabinet. Though amaretto can be served neat or on the rocks, I personally find it too sweet to consume it by itself. Luckily, it can be used to create several popular mixed drinks. Try the French Connection (amaretto and cognac), the Godfather (amaretto and scotch), the Godmother (amaretto and vodka), or the Godchild (amaretto, vodka and cream). All are served best over ice in an Old-Fashioned glass. Amaretto also has several culinary uses, particularly in the realm of desserts. Commonly, amaretto is used to flavor tiramisu. It also compliments chocolate and almond flavors especially well, and it is often mixed into ice cream. I asked Danielle Mullen, a local foodie and baker, for some advice about cooking with amaretto, and she was kind enough to share her recipe for Almond Amaretto Cupcakes. If this recipe interests you, be sure to stop by Danielle’s blog, honeyandvanillabeans.com

Almond Amaretto Cupcakes

FRESH HERBS FROM OUR GARDEN COMBINED

with the highest quality ingredients make the perfect cocktail. Come enjoy an expertly crafted beverage today.

423.634.9172 • KITCHENATUNIONSQUARE.COM TALLAN BUILDING • 2 UNION SQUARE 200 W. MLK BLVD • CHATTANOOGA, TN 37402 DINNER M-SAT • LUNCH M-F • SUNDAY BRUNCH Kitchen at Union Square supports Culinard, the Culinary Institute of Virginia College, where our staff of professional chefs provides a learning lab and teaching establishment for culinary and pastry arts students from Culinard.

26 • The Pulse • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

Ingredients 3/4 cup butter, softened 1-1/2 cups packed brown sugar (60 grams) 1 cup white sugar (225 g) 2 eggs 2 cups all-purpose flour (250 g) 1-1/2 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 cup buttermilk (2.35 fl oz or 70 g) 1/4 cup amaretto (2 fl oz or 55 g) 1 teaspoon vanilla extract 1 teaspoon almond extract 1/3 cup slivered almonds Frosting Ingredients 6 cups confectioners’ sugar 1/2 cup butter 6 tablespoons heavy whipping cream 4 tablespoons amaretto

Instructions 1. Preheat oven to 375°. 2. In a large bowl, cream butter and sugars until light and fluffy. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each. 3. Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add to the creamed mixture alternately with buttermilk and amaretto, beating well after each addition. 4. Stir in almonds. Batter will be thick. 5. Fill paper-lined muffins cups two-thirds full. Bake at 375° for 14-17 minutes. Cool for 5 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. 6. For the frosting, cream together butter and sugar until it takes on a sandy texture. 7. Add in half of the whipping cream and half of the amaretto. 8. Mix well. Add in remaining liquids. 9. Frost cupcakes.

Diversions

Consider This with Dr. Rick by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” — Maya Angelou Who are the figures from your childhood that stand out as the most influential, or the most helpful? Or perhaps the most hope-giving, as they inspired your dreams and shared in your excitement for the future? And when you think of these people, do you recall how they made you feel? How you felt in their presence? Are you aware of the gratitude you feel for those who were positive influences? The way someone makes you feel, beyond their words or actions, and the way they make you feel about yourself, is worth your attention. Because you, too, are having an effect on everyone you come into contact with, be they your own kids or elderly neighbors, coworkers or lovers. It may be for only a moment—or it may be for a lifetime. chattanoogapulse.com • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 27

Free Will Astrology

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28 • The Pulse • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Sex is like pizza,” said comedian Mel Brooks. “Even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good.” That’s a generalization, of course. I’m sure you can think of times in your past when mediocre pizza and mediocre sex were just plain mediocre. But work with me on the overarching principle, Scorpio: Some of the finer things in life just can’t be spoiled. They are always at least moderately pleasurable and interesting and lucky—and usually more than just moderately so. According to my reading of the astrological omens, your immediate future will be filled to the brim with these finer things. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Ancient people knew about Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn because all of those planets are visible to the naked eye. From the second millennium B.C. until the late 20th century, only three additional planets were found: Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. (Pluto was later reclassified as a dwarf planet, however.) Then in 1992, astronomers began to locate planets orbiting other stars. On one spectacular day in February of 2014, NASA announced it had identified 715 new planets. I foresee a similar uptick for you in the next seven months, Sagittarius. Your rate of discoveries is about to zoom. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): When Evan Lattimer’s 92-year-old father died in 2007, she inherited his large collection of odd relics. It included a cigar smoked by W. C. Fields, Greta Garbo’s driver’s license, Abraham Lincoln’s shaving mirror, a bearskin coat owned by General George Custer, and Napoleon Bonaparte’s penis. Many items turned out to be quite valuable to collectors. One eager bidder offered to buy the famous genitalia for $100,000. I suspect that in the coming months, you will experience events that have some resemblances to this story. For example, the legacy you receive may not be what you expected, but could turn out to be more useful than you imagined. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Here’s your assignment: Get more organized and purposeful about having fun. Think harder about what makes you feel good, and plan more aggressively to bring those feel-good experiences into your life. In offering these prescriptions, I’m not advocating irresponsible hedonism. Not at all. In my view, you will become a better servant of those you care about by boosting your commitment to pleasure. You will carry out your duties with more aplomb and effectiveness. Raising your joy quotient is actually a formula for becoming a better human being. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Appalachian Mountains span

rob brezsny

1,500 miles from Newfoundland to Alabama. They are the seventh longest range in the world. And yet they have shrunk over the eons. Their average height is 3,000 feet, but when they were young they were probably twice that high. What happened? There has been constant erosion caused by rivers, glaciers, wind, tree roots, lichens, and oxidation. Rain and condensation have also played a role because when water freezes, it expands, creating a wedging force. I propose that we make what has happened to the Appalachians a symbol of what’s possible for you in the next eight months, Pisces. Through steady, small actions, you can significantly grind down a mountainous obstacle. ARIES (March 21-April 19): We all have addictive and obsessive tendencies. They are fundamental to being human. So the challenge is not to eliminate them—that’s not possible—but rather to harness them. If you hope to keep them from dragging you down, you must work hard to channel them into activities that enhance your life. How are you doing on this score, Aries? Are you chronically dependent on drugs, gambling, sugar, or chaotic relationships? Or are you, instead, hooked on the courage you summon when you face your fears and the willpower you invoke as you free yourself from your limitations? Now is an excellent time to upgrade your addictive and obsessive tendencies. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Our planet’s most abundant mineral is called bridgmanite. It’s an amalgam of iron, magnesium, silicon, and oxygen. Until recently, no one had actually seen it because it lies so deep underground it can’t be reached by digging tools. Scientists have only known about it from studying how earthquake waves moved through it. That changed in the last few years, when two mineralogists found bridgmanite in an ancient meteorite. They were able to analyze the nuances of this basic mineral for the first time. I predict a comparable development for you, Taurus. In the coming months, you will become more familiar with a core part of you that has always been a mystery. The revelations may occur with the help of an influence that resembles a meteorite. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Some conspiracy theorists are paranoid that aliens or government agencies use radio waves to try to control their minds. They wear tin foil hats to protect themselves from the evil transmissions. But a recent study shows that this protective headgear has an effect that’s opposite to what it’s supposed to. In fact, it actually amplifies the intensity of radio frequencies, making it even more likely that mind-control signals would work their dastardly magic.

This problem probably does not apply to you, but I suspect you are suffering from a comparable glitch. An approach you’re pursuing or an attitude you’re cultivating is having an impact contrary to what you imagine. Now is an excellent time to make adjustments. CANCER (June 21-July 22): I can’t remember the last time you’ve had as much artistic freedom as you have now. It’s as if life has given you a slew of wild cards and X-factors to play with. You don’t have to answer to the past as much as you usually do. You are less beholden to the demands of duty and the constraints of karma. Here’s the best perk: You have been authorized by both the higher powers and lower powers of the cosmos to fall in love. With whom? With what? Everyone! Everything! LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): For much of its history, the United States claimed ownership of the ocean within three miles of its coasts. That changed in 1988, when the federal government declared that hereafter it would have sovereignty over the ocean as far as 12 miles from land. With that action, American territory increased dramatically. I invite you to consider a comparable expansion in the coming months, Leo. Seize more space. Seek further privileges. Ask for a bigger piece of everything. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Poland’s most renowned ghost hunter is frustrated. Having invested a fortune in spectral detection equipment, Piotr Shalkevitz finds that there are fewer and fewer spooks to investigate as the years go by. I’m not qualified to speak about whether or not the whole world is experiencing a decline in the ghost population. But I’m confident that this is exactly what is happening for you Virgos. Recently, the haunted elements of your life have begun to dissipate. And in the next eight months, I expect that you will be freed from most, maybe all, of the ghosts and pesky demons that attached themselves to you once upon a time. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “To improve is to change, so to be perfect is to have changed often.” Winston Churchill said that, and now I’m passing it along to you—with one caveat. I don’t expect you to be perfect, and never will. To shoot for perfection is risky. It may set up unrealistic expectations that lead to bad mental hygiene. It tempts you to avoid messy experiences, some of which might be essential to your growth. So I will offer a revised version of Churchill’s maxim for your use: If you want to improve, you must change. If you want to keep improving, you must change often. And the coming months will be prime time for you to keep improving and improving and improving.

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

T-Bones is the downtown location for the Salvation Army Angel Tree. 10% off lunch when you pick up your Angel. Please come in and support the Salvation Army this holiday season. Come In For These Daily Specials Monday — Natural Light Draft: $1.00 pints, 4-7pm Tuesday — Rolling Rock: $1.50 16oz cans, 4-7pm Thursday — Craft Tap: $2.50 per glass, 4-7pm 1419 Chestnut Street Chattanooga, TN, (423) 266-4240 www.tbonessportscafe.com

ACROSS 1 “Viewers Like You” network 4 It often follows http:// 7 Neopagan practice 12 1980’s Camaro 14 Subway Series stadium 15 B-ball 16 Makes the rounds at a restaurant 18 Karenina and Kournikova 19 Joke starting with “Did you hear the one about...” (part 1) 21 Key of Dvorak’s “New World Symphony” 22 Old web connection 25 “True ___!” 26 Irksome 30 Homer Simpson’s dad 31 Joke (part 2) 35 Impales

38 Attila the ___ 39 Public 40 Joke (part 3) 43 Verb suffix 44 Felix of “The Odd Couple” 45 German exclamation 48 Airport runway 51 Gulf War helicopter 54 Joke (punchline) 58 Gloved Garciaparra 60 Performing really well 61 Word before op or bomb 62 Ancient stories 63 Utah city near Arches National Park 64 One-named “Monument” singer 65 Cause of Cleopatra’s demise 66 Hard to catch DOWN 1 Like some prunes or olives

2 Bull breed 3 Solemn assent 4 “___ your Daddy?” 5 Got teary 6 Do the laundry 7 “___ Like About You” 8 Aegean Sea region 9 Assembly that selects a pope 10 1040 preparer 11 Jerk 13 Scottish family 14 Everest guide, often 17 Former Roxy Music member Brian 20 Brand known as Dreyer’s in the western US 23 Lyft competitor 24 ___ Plus 27 Actor Hawke 28 Went for a pitch 29 “Gold Digger” rapper West 31 Still undecided, on a schedule 32 “The buck

stops here” prez 33 4 ___ Blondes 34 Night for celebration 35 “SNL” segment 36 “Private Dancer” singer Turner 37 Group with pitchforks and torches 41 “Looks like a nasty scrape...” 42 Road crew’s color 45 Sneeze sounds 46 Horse, to Maurice 47 “I ___ declare...” 49 Like some stews 50 “Breaking Bad” actor ___ Paul 52 MPH middle 53 Smashable bit 55 Ms. Kunis 56 “Dukes of Hazzard” deputy 57 50+ org. 58 “Weekend Edition Sunday” org. 59 “And what have we here!?!”

Copyright © 2014 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0701

Join us for the Monday Night Football Pregame Show Live every Monday evening from 6 to 8 p.m. at World of Beer in downtown Chattanooga. Wells Guthrie and his guest co-host will preview the Monday Night Football game, discuss other current sports topics, and give away plenty of prizes.

412 Market Street Downtown Chattanooga chattanoogapulse.com • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • The Pulse • 29

Welcome to the Fast Lane “It’s such bullshit,” said Young Chattanoogan #1. He was referring to a speedreduction initiative taking place on Highway 153 a week ago. And by “speed-reduction initiative,” I mean a carpetbombing of cops all over a local stretch of state highALEX way that resembled a sea of white paint and polyester floating in an ocean of blue lights and asphalt. (I admit… it was pretty strong.) “Revenue generation,” the Young Chattanoogan said. I drew in a breath, held it a moment, and let it out quickly, letting my shoulders slump along with my lungs. I love how people call it that: “Revenue Generation.” I think that there truly are people on this Earth that think cops (my co-workers, at least) make a buck off of their tickets. Imagine my frustration (after going eight years without so much as a pay plan,) on hearing that I’m writing tickets for the purpose of generating revenue. Let me write this down here in the sweet, sweet pages of The Pulse: I’m not making money when I stop someone traveling 80 MPH in a 55 MPH zone. I’m just slowing some guy down, and going

to another place to shoot radar again. My pay remains static whether I write 20 tickets or zero tickets. (Read that twice, if you will.) I’m a salaried employee, baby, not a bounty hunter. Cops write tickets, not Boba Fett. You want the truth? I TEACH write tickets because 28 people died in this town in traffic crashes last year, and no matter how much less plausible this seems than “making money,” it’s actually the case. Excessive speed is the leading cause of car crashes, and as it turns out, the taxi drivers and civil rights activists of this town aren’t doing much about it, so it’s left to the local P.D. to enforce the traffic laws of this great state. That’s right: Cops write tickets to slow people down, and with a bit of luck change their behavior. Does it cost someone money if they get one? Sure. Tons. Does Officer Teach get that money? Nope. Officer Teach is just paid by seeing one less lady or gentlemen impaled by a steering column, alongside a cell phone on the floorboard of the smoking car that wrecked because they were Facebooking while doing 75 in a 55. “That” is what makes me the bad guy,

On The Beat

“

I’m a salaried employee, baby, not a bounty hunter. Cops write tickets, not Boba Fett.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alexteach

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(423) 280-7457 “You Create What I Assist You With” 30 • The Pulse • NOVEMBER 13-19, 2014 • chattanoogapulse.com

and it’s a label I’m content to live with. Seeing people alive and angry will always, every time, be preferable to a cop than seeing their hair stuck in the spider-webbed cracks of a windshield as the temperature of their blood equalizes with the temperature of the air surrounding them. (Is the visual “icky” for you? Well, bless your heart. Welcome to my world.) For the enforcement action described above, there were over 30 cops involved. While that one day of work over two shifts isn’t going to be a permanent fix (duh), I noticed that people were talking about it the next day. And the day after. And the day after that. Those were the “revenue generation” discussions, the “people are being killed in the inner city, why are cops writing tickets?” discussions. And through all these talks, two things were happening they didn’t even realize: That one day’s work was carried over into a week’s worth of discussions, and people were slowing down in the area of 153 they saw littered with cops the week before. In other words… people were slowing down, if for just a little while. Were lives saved? Maybe not. Was awareness of speeding brought to mind for the thousands of people that traveled that road on a Friday?

Yup. And sometimes that’s the only success we can hope for. Not one shooting took place while a detective worked a case where a widow was bilked of thousands of dollars by a man who promised to re-roof her house (if she paid in advance in cash), although he “should have been dealing with the gang problem.” No gangsters were laid low because the cop working your wreck (because you ass-ended the car ahead of you) was writing the crash report your insurance company needed instead of standing in the middle of Dodson Avenue looking for “gang members.” Yet two teenagers were killed in separate crashes in this county on the days before and after that initiative. Seeing the big picture yet? There are shootings, yes, but there are also wrecks. Children being abused. And husbands and wives beating each other. Cops can’t stop answering any of those calls, so if you’d really like to help with the gang problem? How about slowing down and acknowledging that as many or more people are killed in car crashes in this city than by “the gangs?” It’s math, not speculation. Now press hard, because there are three carbons there. Thanks. Or slow down... whichever.

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Visit the top of Lookout Mountain, Point Park and shop & dine in beautiful St. Elmo.Â