The Pulse » Oct. 27, 2011

Chattanooga's Weekly Alternative

NEWS littlefield’s land grab

has some COUNTY residents opting for hamilton city » p4

BACKIN

BLACK THE RESURRECTION OF

DR. SHOCK MUSIC

SWEATY WEIRD PARTY ROCK. baby baby BRINGS ITTO THE PINT » p15

ARTS

RELATIVITY OF ABSTRACTION: WENDY WHITE At CRESS GALLERY » p21

FREE • NEWS | VIEWS | MUSIC | ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT • october 27, 2011 • VOLUME 8 • ISSUE 43 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

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The Pulse • October 27, 2011 • chattanoogapulse.com

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NEWS & OPINON ON THE BEAT FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN' CROSSWORD LIFE IN THE NOOG

OCTOBER

COVER STORY

27

2011

ontent C

VOLUME 8 • ISSUE 43 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Night Stalker Resurrecting Dr. Shock was the easy part. Finding a home on local TV is proving more difficult.

Bill Ramsey profiles Jack Gray, the new Dr. Shock, and his quest to revive Shock Theatre.

Page 9 Cover & feature photos

by Lesha Patterson

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NEWS & OPINION Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative President Jim Brewer, II Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe Contributing Editor Gary Poole Art Director Bill Ramsey Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Rick Leavell, Michelle Pih Contributors Rob Brezsny, Dave Castaneda Chuck Crowder, John DeVore Janis Hashe, Matt Jones Josh Lang, D.E. Langley Kelly Lockhart, Cody Maxwell Robert McCrory, Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib,Gary Poole Bill Ramsey, Alex Teach Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Editorial Intern Beth Miller Photography Lesha Patterson • Josh Lang Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

The Pulse is published by

1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, TN 37402

Littlefield’s Land Grab Mayor’s new urban-growth plan sparks petition for new city to maintain control over neighborhoods

By Gary Poole How big does Chattanooga need to be? A simple question that gets to the heart of the latest round in the ongoing war of words between Chattanooga Mayor Ron Littlefield and residents of growing neighbors just outside the city limits. The latest round was started with a letter to Hamilton County Mayor Jim Coppinger, where Littlefield politely requested the Urban Growth Plan committee be re-seated for another look at growth in the county.

When asked for clarification of his intent, Littlefield made it clear it was for the express purpose of finding a solution for providing urbangrade services to formerly rural areas that have grown by leaps and bounds in the decade since the last time anyone put together a comprehensive urban-growth plan.

“When we adopted the growth plan more than a decade ago, we

weren’t really growing,” the mayor said in a recent interview on News Talk 95.3 WPLZ. “Now we are.

We’re particularly growing up towards Ooltewah, towards the Bradley County line—and the rest of the area is not immune to growth, either.”

What has alarmed many in those areas is that Littlefield’s solution to how best handle the new growth is simple: have those areas annexed into Chattanooga. He feels that the city is the best choice to administer the areas, manage their growth and provide them the urban services the areas now require.

Not everyone, naturally, is in agreement. Many, in fact, feel that the worst thing to happen to residents in those areas would be to be absorbed by the 800-pound municipal gorilla that is Chattanooga, fearing the their tax rates would skyrocket without seeing an equitable return in the form of services.

So, a number of residents in and around the Ooltewah area have banded together to start a petition drive to form their own city, which they would call Hamilton, as a way to maintain control over their neighborhoods. They believe they could better manage the tax base of their hoped-for city boundaries and provide urban-grade services more efficiently and cost-effectively than the much-larger Chattanooga

“When we adopted the growth plan more than a decade ago, we weren’t really growing. Now we are. We’re particularly growing up towards Ooltewah, towards the Bradley County line—and the rest of the area is not immune to growth, either.”

Mayor Ron Littlefield

government could. Several supporters point to cities such as East Ridge and Soddy-Daisy as prime examples of small municipalities effectively meeting the needs of their citizens and providing a more direct level of governance.

Mayor Littlefield has a different take on smaller cities, however. “I don’t think we can sit around and let multiple governments grow up again,” he said. “I’m not worried about the town of Hamilton, but I do believe the interchanges up there that are existing now and will be growing in the future need to be a part of Chattanooga.”

It’s obvious that the fast-growth areas will end up under some form of urban government. What is not obvious is what form that government will take. Will it be a much larger, more experienced Chattanooga or will it be a smaller, yet more directly representative Hamilton? Stay tuned…this little melodrama is far from over.

MakeWork Moves On; lyndhurst to match donations for local artists

With CreateHere heading for its “SuperNova” in just a couple of months, local artists have been concerned about the fate of the MakeWork grants program, which has awarded $700,000 to 84 artists since its founding in 2008.

Project, studio assistance and career advancement grants have aided artists in fields including performing arts, 2D and 3D visual arts, literary arts, culinary arts and new media. In good news for the arts community, the Lyndhurst Foundation recently announced that it would match 2:1 any donations received to MakeWork by November 1, up to $100,000.

If you’d like to help raise the MakeWork total, contact Program Director Kate Creason at kate@ createhere.org. — Janis Hashe

HappyHalloween!

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The Pulse • October 27, 2011 • chattanoogapulse.com

EDITOON rick baldwin

What’s Wrong With Public Education

cian that that makes it reason enough to run for Congress. Weston Wamp needs to learn that following in daddy’s footsteps is not what this country needs. I’m sure his father’s supporters will write a check or two to support young Wamp’s campaign, but the residents of the Third District need a real leader, not some kid with a memorable name who is barely old enough to shave.

Walter Caudlet

LETTERS

Teachers can only do so much in the classroom.

Unless a child is gifted, odds are, they will not get it all in the classroom and must spend time on homework. Parents and students are more obsessed with athletics than academics. They want their child to receive a college scholarship through athletics, but it will be useless if they cannot compete in academics.

Rick Watts

We Don’t Need Another Wamp

While I have no reason to support current Congressman Chuck Fleischmann, who cannot an-

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swer a question with an original thought, I am even more annoyed to see another moneyed son of the power elite assume simply because he shares a name with a once-successful politi-

CHATTANOOGA GHOST TOURS

CORRECTION

In last week’s Arts Feature, “Some Light, Some Dark in Dark of the Moon”, the second lead singer should have been identified as Lisa Gates. The Pulse regrets the error.

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ON THE BEAT

ALEX TEACH

The Gentle Art of Custody We will meet or beat any advertised price in Chattanooga!

A

question was brought up about “police brutality” recently, and I related a story about how I chased a guy down in an apartment complex parking lot off of East Brainerd Road and took him down between two rows of cars; neighbors had called in on him for trying to get into cars and acting “erratic”.

He was the first person to ever go for my gun; I kept hands planted on it and kneed the shit out of him, but that doesn’t work well despite how powerful it looks.

Hurting a guy’s thighs just isn’t effective at deterring his hands from my gun, it turned out.

More cops showed up; four more, actually, and they dove in and we all held him down, one on each limb while I continued to try to get his hands out from under his chest where he’d locked his hands together to keep from being cuffed. It turns out, you see, not everyone “quits” once the game is over. Some play their role to the hilt, and actually don’t do as told, then ordered, then yelled. (Any parents or jail officials nodding their heads here?)

I got him cuffed after using my expendable baton as a pry-bar, and do you know what happened? The same neighbors that called this in called in an Excessive Use of Force Complaint because there were so many officers “on him”.

I went to IAD. I was exonerated soon after, but it was still a pain and here’s why: If a cop deals with a guy that doesn’t want to comply one-on-one, do you know what happens? It’s a fistfight. If the other four cops hadn’t shown up while I was fighting for my gun, you know how I would have ended it? Getting to that gun first (or the backup revolver inside my vest, or a lock-blade knife placed elsewhere) Where the Liquor is Cheap & the Entertainment is Free

and KILLING that son of a bitch if I’d had to.

Are some of you thinking about covering your mouths in horror that I would write that?

THAT would have been the result of your compassionate, rose-tinted “Fair Fight”. Instead, he was overpowered and taken to jail, unaware of what he’d done (due to a blackout) until I testified in

court.

You want a fair fight? OK. That’s how it was with me in the parking lot, and I was about to ensure I went home if given the choice when he made it “me or him”.

Or, you can consider the possibility that three or four cops holding one person down may actually SAVE the dumb bastard’s life, even if one has to prod, poke, beat, or Taze the guy until he complies. Life isn’t pretty, folks; watch the Discovery Channel.

As a veteran officer, I am not allowed to care if I’m complained about for using more than one (or five) guys to get the job done, because I know the critics usually only share the commonality of NOT knowing what they are judging, So why hate them?

I will point out the difference, though. Judge on, and take your time.

(I’ll be here, still alive and enjoying it.)

P.S.: Several weeks ago, I lambasted Chief Magistrate Larry Ables over a decision by the

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The Pulse • October 27, 2011 • chattanoogapulse.com

local magistrate’s office to release a man from jail with no bond and to refuse felony charges against him after having intentionally gouged a cop’s eye and wrestled over his gun at Track 29. (That is why, for you offended onlookers who complained to I.A., the gentlemen had the proverbial “shit” beaten out of him. Attempted Murder occasionally results in such; try it if you don’t believe me.)

Prior to print I attempted to reach Mr. Ables to confirm this without success due to a preplanned vacation with his family, and was left with the word and reports of others involved.

As it turns out, Magistrate Ables only dealt with one of the two suspects involved in this case and not the one that was released. While I (fortunately) do not have the name of the magistrate who DID, I hereby openly and unequivocally apologize to Mr. Ables for my absolutely incorrect assessment of his judgment.

I am opinionated and passionate, but I am not incapable of admitting when I’m wrong. I had recently defended Mr. Ables for looking out for the welfare of the underpaid and overworked corrections folk that surround him and continue to support him after his recent re-appointment and resolution of this issue.

(I stand by my original assessment, however, of the magistrate that did refuse to admit felony charges against Mr. “Lucky To Be Alive”. Unbelievable.)

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook. com/alex.teach

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WALK OF LIFE

Church of Rock Ever want to party with a classic rock legend?

Jonathan Mark has your ticket.

By Bill Ramsey

H

ooters Girls and the music of Foreigner blasting from a sound system are not what you’d expect to find in the former home of a Baptist church just off Main Street downtown on Rossville Avenue. But the hip new high priest of what’s become known simply as The Church on Main Street has a different flock in mind for the old abbey.

“This place is going to rock,” says Jonathan Mark, the Boston-bred musician, concert producer, consultant and of late, the impresario behind the unnamed entertainment complex set to shake loose the gothic foundation of the Southside sanctuary.

On a recent weekday afternoon following a photo shoot (Mark’s partner, photographer Robert Morris, uses the space as a studio and has just finished photographing a gaggle of Atlanta Hooters Girls), Mark is stalking the floor of the former church with the excitement of Jack Nicholson (to whom he bears more than a passing resemblance) at a Lakers’ game, pointing out

the space’s unique ambiance and reeling off a Who’s Who of Classic Rock list of potential performers.

Mark is the latest entrepreneur set on expanding Chattanooga’s underserved concert-going audience with a new venue he hopes will attract the a distinctly different crowd from his neighbors down the street at Track 29. “I love Track 29,” he says, “but this is going to be a completely different experience.”

“Experience” is key to Mark’s plans.

“This is not a club,” he says emphatically. “We’re creating an entertainment experience unlike anything Chattanooga has seen.”

At least once a month when the venue opens early next year, Mark expects to bring such classic rock icons as Peter Frampton, Greg Lake and Supertramp to the intimate confines of the historic temple, which dates to 1903. He also hopes to book local bands to open for the legends and will rent the space for private parties and weddings.

For top-dollar tickets, fans will be treated to a catered dinner, open bar and the opportunity to hang out with rock royalty before the stars turn in a private concert. The space will house a state-of-the-art sound system and feature a VIP loft.

Mark likens the expected experience to that of booking a popular musician to play your house party.

“How often do you get to party with Peter Frampton?” Mark asks.

Jonathan Mark in the stairwell of his unnamed entertainment venue in The Church on Main Street. Photo by Bill Ramsey • The Pulse

chattanoogapulse.com • October 27, 2011 • THE PULSE

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State of

COVER STORY

SHOCK When the original Dr. Shock, Tommy Reynolds, died in 2008, the spirit of Shock found a new mortal form in the unwitting body of local musician Jack Gray. Becoming Shock turned out to be the easy part.

Returning Shock Theatre to local airwaves has proven an epic quest.

BY BILL RAMSEY

I

f you’re looking for Dr. Shock, don’t bother lifting coffin lids or poking around cemeteries after dark. Ditto for the old WTVC studios in the Golden Gate Shopping Center, home of the original Shock Theatre. Shock’s current lair is in a suitably funky former hair salon on an appropriately shadowy block of a less-traveled downtown street. The windows are blacked out and a sign on the door alludes to the mischief within: “Nobody gets in to see the wizard. Not nobody. Not no how.” Just knock, goes the saying, the bell is out of order.

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PHOTO BY LESHA PATTERSON

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Most likely the Wizard of Odd will answer.

That would be Scott Fillers, a local magician, horror movie enthusiast and yet another in a growing consortium of Friends of Shock Theatre who have lent their time, talent or, in this case, storefront to the recently revived horror host. Inside, a wall filled with Filler’s kitschy horror movie collectibles shares space with the set pieces that form Shock’s makeshift studio— cobwebbed stone pillars, a coffin, skulls and furniture that would not be out of place in Norma Desmond’s Sunset Boulevard home.

Before Shock himself appears, I regard his button-eyed puppet sidekick, Dingbat, in repose across the crushed velvet couch. When Shock enters from an anteroom, he is shocking only in his lack of Shock-ness: No cape, no dark eye makeup, no dangling cigarette, the latter a signature prop—along with the skull-topped cane—of the original Dr. Shock. “I had to quit smoking,” this Shock says, apologetically.

Shock is in street clothes, in this case his mortal form’s casual attire. Local musician Jack Gray is still feeling the weight of the cape and finding his footing a year after accidentally ascending to the role. But it’s surprising how much Gray, a heavy-set man with hound-dog eyes, a weary smile and an easygoing manner, resembles his predecessor, the late Tommy Reynolds.

Bob Brandy, Miss Marcia and, most notably, Dr. Shock, are figures who still exist in the nostalgic, gauzy memory of those who lived in the region during the 1960s and ’70s. With the exception of Miss Marcia, who still appears on local TV, most have died, as have the shows that propelled them into the hearts of viewers. Reynolds, a longtime program director at WTVC/ Channel 9, earned cult celebrity status in 1970s Chattanooga as host of Shock Theatre, the station’s campy late-night horror movie fest that aired on Saturday nights from 1968 to 1975.

Abetted by his curiously disturbing puppet sidekick Dingbat (created and voiced by Dan East) and the curvaceous Nurse Goodbody (Patricia Abney), Reynolds single-handedly introduced the genre to the local market.

At first, Reynolds—who began his on-air career as Shock in the 1960s hosting Science Fiction Theater on WTVC—adopted a camp Dracula persona, introducing and ridiculing a series of mostly low-budget horror and science-fiction movies during commercial breaks. He took the show to a new level when he began lobbing satirical bombs at local politicians, the Lookout Mountain elite and his fellow media personalities along with sometimes risqué comic bits that flew over the heads of youthful viewers but quickly caught older fans’ attention.

The pair would often push the envelope, straying into controversial territory, getting Reynolds and East got into hot water with station management, writes longtime local TV

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Dead ringer? Tommy Reynolds, left, as the original Dr. Shock in a WTVC/Channel 9 promotional photo from the 1970s, and Jack Gray as the new Dr. Shock.

“Starting out as a radio deejay at that time, I can tell you that getting your name mentioned on Shock Theatre, even as part of a fake news story or other comedy routine, was huge.”

David Carroll

Longtime Chattanooga TV and radio personality and author of Chattanooga Radio and Television

and radio personality David Carroll in his book Chattanooga Radio and Television. But their sometimes-naughty behavior just served to boost ratings—and advertiser response—Carroll recalls.

“Starting out as a radio deejay at that time, I can tell you that getting your name mentioned on Shock Theatre, even as part of a fake news story or other comedy routine, was huge,” Carroll says.

Dr. Shock’s reign of televised mock terror hit its zenith in the mid-’70s. Saturday nights after the late news mostly faded to black. But when a new, female general manager took over at WTVC in 1975, both Reynolds’ and Shock’s days were numbered. According to Carroll, “Evidently there was some disagreement between the two, so he went to WDEF, where he hosted afternoon drive radio show for a few years.”

Shock reappeared at Channel 12, but didn’t last long, nor did Reynolds, who landed at WHNT Channel 19 in Huntsville, Ala., where he briefly revived Shock Theatre. But Huntsville got only a glimpse of what had made Dr. Shock a legend in Chattanooga. Gone were Dingbat and Nurse Goodbody, along with the biting com-

The Pulse • October 27, 2011 • chattanoogapulse.com

mentary. The show eventually fizzled and Reynolds retired.

B

ut old horror hosts never really die— they just find new souls to inhabit.

Enter Jack Gray and Johnny Stockman, a local film producer and editor, who had attempted a Shock revival in the early 1990s but was rebuffed by Channel 9. “I’d always loved the show and thought there was room for it to return,” recalls Stockman. “When I tried it [though], I ran into so many naysayers I gave up on it.”

News of Reynolds’ 2008 death again reminded Stockman of the character and when friends remarked Gray had more than a passing resemblance to Reynolds, the resurrection of Dr. Shock was under way.

What began as a Facebook gag quickly evolved into a serious attempt at reincarnating the character. Gray recounts donning the tux and cape for the first time, smearing greasepaint around his eyes and—most importantly—fashioning his hair in that distinctive Tom-Snydermeets-Richard-Nixon look.

For better or worse, that simple act of bad

grooming sealed Gray’s fate.

He’s tapped into the horror host zeitgeist.

Reynolds didn’t invent Shock Theatre, nor was he the only Dr. Shock. A zombie army of horror hosts came to life on local channels nationwide when Screen Gems syndicated its fright films library in 1957 in a package dubbed Shock Theater, encouraging stations add a local host.

The scheme worked and Son of Shock! followed in 1958, just as Reynolds began his career at WTVC. “When local TV stations were starting out, there wasn’t as much network or syndicated programming compared to what we’ve had since the 1980s forward,” says Carroll. “Stations had to fill some time, they were usually locally owned, so they were making stuff up as they were going along, trying a little of everything.”

Times, technology and programming changed, but horror hosts continued to grow in popularity with the rise of Elvira, Cassandra Peterson’s perennially popular “Mistress of the Dark,” in the early 1980s. Online, multiple fan sites catalog and document the genre’s history, and YouTube brims over with horror host clips.

The 2010 documentary American Scary tracked down 300 horror hosts and profiled 60 of the most popular. “They set the tone for how we view horror movies as camp,” co-director Sandy Clark told USA Today last year. “I couldn’t believe no one had told this story before.”

In short, the timing was right for the rebirth of Shock Theatre in Chattanooga. Listen to Gray for a while and you’re convinced.

Baby Boomer masses that grew up with Shock, he says, are ready for it. As proof, Gray offers his large Facebook following and stories of fan encounters at numerous public appearances this year. He’s recruited an eager and enthusiastic co-host in Constance Haynes, who portrays the new Nurse Goodbody in an updated, goth style. Gray has even fabricated a reconstituted Dingbat after finding no one capable of recreating the iconic fanged puppet.

“Historically, it’s an honor to be part of this,” Gray says. “We’re really fans at heart and we’re having a lot of fun.”

Gray has spent the past year perfecting the character, attempting to faithfully honor Reynolds’ memory while adding his own brand of quirks and riffs. “I’m not an actor, I’m a musician.

I get nervous in front of the camera and screw up, but maybe that makes it better,” he says. “It would be great to get into Reynolds’ psyche, but I’m developing my own technique as I go along.”

As Shock, Gray has worked hard to rekindle interest—making personal appearances at such events as ConNooga, the local sci-fi/horror convention; appearing at local haunted houses and pre-Halloween events; and preparing for a blowout Halloween night show at The Hon-

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Dr. Shock (Jack Gray), Dingbat and Nurse Goodbody (Constance Haynes) in the Shock Studios in downtown Chattanooga. Photo by Lesha Pattterson

“We were really excited by the initial response from fans and WTVC ...

Expectations were high. If we were going to do it, we wanted to honor the original concept and do it right.”

Jack Gray

The new Dr. Shock on his bumpy journey to air a Shock Theatre special on WTVC

est Pint, where his band, the Shock Theatre Orchestra, will perform its original rock opera, Hauntsville, a nod to Reynolds’ exile in Huntsville. All this has been a lead-in to what he expected, until earlier this month, to be the first full version of Shock Theatre on local TV in more than 30 years.

Gray has been doggedly pursuing a deal to return Shock to the air with WTVC management.

So far, that relationship has been up and down.

When Stockman and Gray first promoted the new Shock with videos on Facebook and YouTube last year, the response, says Stockman, was incredible. “They (WTVC) were calling us,” he recalls. The Shock team filmed segments promoting a Shock Theatre revival on WTVC’s digital channel, ThisTV, before Halloween last year which the station used in advance of the first program on Valentine’s Day. The results of that show didn’t sit well Stockman or Gray.

“They (Channel 9) rearranged and put it together badly,” he says. “It just sucked, the cutting made no sense. You had to watch the movie three times to see it all.” After the show aired, production went into a hiatus, but Gray was still thrilled with the response.

“We were really excited by the initial response from fans and WTVC,” Gray says. “Expectations were high. If we were going to do it, we wanted to honor the original concept and do it right.”

A few months ago, he forged a new deal with ThisTV to air a Shock special on Oct. 29 around Night of the Living Dead, the classic 1968 George Romero film. With the help of a sponsor, local restaurant Aretha Frankensteins, Gray paid $300 for the timeslot and launched a Kickstarter campaign he hopes will raise the $13,000 necessary to fund a full season of Shock Theatre.

But the ghosts of Reynolds’ ’70s quarrel with management and Stockman’s early-’90s attempts re-surfaced. The deal began to unravel, eventually falling apart completely.

First, the station questioned the legality and cost associated with airing Night of the Living Dead. Gray had done his research and assured station management that the film was in public domain, a detail he found odd considering he was dealing with a television station. (For the record, the film accidentally went into public domain after the distributor failed to use copyright notices on the original prints. The film is free and down-

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The Pulse • October 27, 2011 • chattanoogapulse.com

loadable online).

But when Gray couldn’t produce legal documents verifying that fact, WTVC issued orders requiring Gray to write and film new bits (at his own expense) to air around commercial breaks for another film, most likely a classic from the 1930s already in their library such as Bride of Frankenstein. While this would have eliminated the cost of the airtime, the switch quashed his vision of running a modern horror classic around a coherent Shock program he’d already filmed— a deal the station had previously approved. The new segments would constitute two-minute commercial breaks, not a show, he says. He also had less than two weeks to write, rehearse and film the new bits to run Oct. 31 from 4 to 11 p.m.—not Saturday night, the night Shock fans expect. He was, in a word, shocked.

“They kept moving the target. We just couldn’t produce a quality show in that time,” Gray says wearily. “I’d had enough.”

WTVC General Manager Mike Costa declined to comment on the details, adding only, “It is unfortunate the Shock Theatre special could not become a reality. I made a decision in the best interest of the television station.”

In response, Gray says, “I’m constantly reminded of how Tommy Reynolds must have felt.

This was the same way he was treated. I get the feeling they don’t like the fact that people want this to happen. Some things never change.”

Gray remains optimistic Shock Theatre will air again soon, this time, ironically, on competitor WDEF Channel 12 and its digital counterpart, Tuff TV, where he turned after the WTVC debacle and was warmly welcomed. The show will go on—only not on Halloween weekend. Gray says the all-new Shock Theatre will likely air Thanksgiving weekend on Tuff TV around Night of the Living Dead, a copy of which Tuff TV already has in its library.

“Tuff TV and WDEF are very open to what we’re doing, but we need some time to re-film and promote it properly. All this adds up to slowing down and getting this first show right. I think this is going to be a version of Shock Theatre that people will realize is different and much more developed,” says Gray.

But even a successful revival of the iconic show won’t likely usher in a new era of local programming, according to author and WRCB host Carroll. With the vast variety of shows now cheaply available to local stations for syndication, the cost and effort required to produce local programming doesn’t add up.

He notes, “Now that hundreds of channels, with every conceivable niche, are available, it’s unlikely that local stations would spend the money and energy required to launch that type of show.”

Still, you never know. The good doctor might just Shock everyone.

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Baby Baby Returns to Rock The Honest Pint

By Dave Castaneda

H

appy haunted holidays everybody! I hope everyone is geared up for an explosive Halloween weekend. I found it extremely hard to highlight all the events for this Halloween weekend. Also, I really wanted to focus attention on some bands that I’ve been watching that will be playing at a venue near you. For this week, I’ve narrowed it down to a show that Atlanta-based Baby Baby is playing alongside Reagan Smash at The Honest Pint this Wednesday. This venue is seriously becoming one of my favorite spots to drink, eat and be merry. The shows here are a must-go-to at least once in your time spent in Chattanooga.

Baby Baby is one of those extremely highenergy bands that you cannot help but get into.

Pure and simple, Baby Baby is a party band like no other that just instantly grabs your attention.

Baby Baby is Fontez Brooks, Kyle Dobbs, Grant Wallace, and Colin Boddy—all from Atlanta. Their concerts often have band members trading spots on vocals and drums. The drums are key to this band, and there are a lot of them.

Expect to hear a lot of chanting in the crowd. All the howls, yelling, and participation are key to how much fun you have at this show. Trust me.

The origins of the band are shrouded in mystery but rumor has it that the band met in Carlton, GA. According to Fontez Brooks, “That’s when a lot of gangster [expletive] happened.” It was there all the guys found a common ground in the music they all loved. Their influences range from Michael Jackson to Sub Pop. While on tour, the band gets into crazy antics that can be followed on their Facebook page. Let’s just say that their videos will put the MTV show Jackass to shame. Kyle Dobbs says, “Sometimes we like to play this game where we pee in a bottle and toss it to the driver when they aren’t looking.”

Multi-instrumentalist Kyle Dobbs started playing instruments at a very early age, starting with playing the drums, then bass, then guitar.

On stage, Kyle loves to play as many instruments as possible to “keep himself busy.” This is only the tip of the iceberg in describing how wild and frantic a Baby Baby concert is. Percussionist Colin Boddy describes the band as, “Party rock. Sweaty and weird. People will tell us that we sound like Kings of Leon but dancier.

“We try and encourage nudity at our shows

“Party rock. Sweaty and weird. People will tell us that we sound like Kings of Leon but dancier.” but that sometimes turns awkward and a lot of dudes end up taking their shirt off.” Yes, you will see a lot of chanting at their shows. Although I can’t guarantee they will make you take your shirts off, I will tell you that they will make you want to chant loudly to their party anthems.

All crazy theatrics and entertainment aside, Baby Baby has been touring extensively this past year and the boys have been keeping busy.

They’ve hit up Austin for SXSW back in March and are planning to return to play more showcases at the multi-venue festival. One of their favorite stops on tour is New York because “there is so much culture and so much to do there.”

Some of Baby Baby’s favorite bands to play with have been Machines Are People Too, The Cusses, and Today The Moon Tomorrow The Sun (who also play at JJ’s Bohemia on November 3).

The band has been tearing it up whenever they visit Chattanooga and their crowds just get bigger and wilder each time they come here. You can download Baby Baby’s music for free on their Facebook page. It’s been so cool to watch this band come into town and gain more fans every time, and I highly recommend if you’re into a good and fun time to make a stop into The Pint for some awkward, sweaty, good fun!

Baby Baby, Reagan Smash $5 • 9 p.m. Wednesday, November 2 The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com

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The Pulse • October 27, 2011 • chattanoogapulse.com

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Comedian Amy Sedaris proffered a method for getting a rid of a tune stuck in your head: sing to yourself the commercial-ending phrase “By Mennen.” Of course, the joke is that one annoying tune is simply replaced in your head by another annoying tune. Lately, various choruses from the second Dum Dum Girls album, Only in Dreams, have been stuck in my head, and I’m not exactly sure if that’s a good thing or not. On many of the album’s songs, each chorus is a single phrase repeated four times, as if the group is really trying to hammer it into your consciousness.

On “Bedroom Eyes,” it’s “Oh, I need your bedroom eyes.” On “Teardrops on My Pillow,” it’s “Teardrops on my pillow.” It seems kind of insipid when you break it down like that. However, these are pop songs, not doctoral theses, and pop songs are like jingles (and vice versa) that are selling fun.

Only in Dreams features a no-nonsense poprock simplicity, akin to the more moderate releases by The Jesus and Mary Chain with a touch of ’60s girl-group pop. However, it doesn’t quite have the pop brevity that would have given the album a stunning, hit-and-run impact; several of the album’s songs don’t have enough ideas to sustain their durations. This release is a lot cleaner sounding than the debut album, I Will Be, which had a much different sonic style with roughed-up vocals and more reverb. The more defined, slicker production values may be disappointing to fuzzlovers, but they reveal something that might not have been apparent before: lead singer and front woman Dee Dee (real name: Kristin Gundred) has a really great voice, somewhat reminiscent of Chrissie Hynde, that deserves better. That voice can take her far, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she eventually earns fame, fortune, and maybe even endorsement opportunities for Speed Stick.

chattanoogapulse.com • October 27, 2011 • THE PULSE

17

MUSIC

THURSDAY, OCT. 27

FRIDAY, OCT. 28

Wed. • October 26 Peelander Z • Night of the Wolf Gold Plated Gold Thurs. • October 27 The Underground Railroad to Candyland • Screaming Females Big Kitty • Very Very Sneaky Fri. • October 28 KISSFITS • Monomath Sat. • October 29 Black Betty • Planet Sun. • October 30 Bassheads (DJ party) Mon. • October 31

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409 Market Street Downtown - 423.756.1919

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MONDAY: $1.00 Draft & Beer Pong MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL TUESDAY: Dubstep Party!

WEDNESDAY: Open Mic Night + 50¢ wings!

Beer Pong Tournament 7:30pm Prizes for Winners

THURSDAY: Thirsty Thursdays SUSHI SPECIALS: $3 Rolls Wed & Thurs FRIDAY: Todd Weaver ($1 Beer 10-11pm) SATURDAY: Critty Upchurch ($1 Beer 10-11pm) SATURDAY, OCT. 29 Halloween Party & Costume Contest

18

Screaming Females, The Underground Railroad to Candyland, Big Kitty

www.thehonestpint.com Marty Adams 9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

Will Hoge, Moon Taxi 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

$5 • 7 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Friday

Mix fun, powerful, indie-rock, pop-punk and serve on the rocks.

Thursday

Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253.

Billy “Lightning” Hopkins 7 p.m. Southside Saloon and Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com Songwriter’s Night 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com Blues Jam with Rick Rushing 7:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100.

(423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Buddy Mondlock 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. www.christunity.org Screaming Females, Underground Railroad to Candyland, Big Kitty, Very Very Sneaky 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Scissormen, The Waters Brothers 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192.

The Pulse • October 27, 2011 • chattanoogapulse.com

Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 East 11th St. (423)756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com King of the Southside Battle of the Bands: Brock’s Folly, twentynineunder, Finesse 7:30 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Laura Sable and Bill Wiemuth 8 p.m. Delta Queen Hotel, 100 River St. (423) 468-4500. www.deltaqueenhotel.net NEEDTOBREATHE 8 p.m. Track 29, Chattanooga Choo Choo Campus, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323. www.track29.co Priscilla and Lil Ricky 8:30 p.m. The Foundry (at the Chattanoogan Hotel), 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400.

Stoneline 9 p.m. Southside Saloon and Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com Skin Deep 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com.

Halloween Bash: Queen B & The Well Strung Band 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Danimal 9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

Brian Collins 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.thepalmsathamilton.com KISSFITS, Monomath 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Mike McDade’s Acoustic Tribute to Neil Young 10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Mark “Porkchop” Holder 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100.

(423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Blackberry Smoke, The Wayne Mills Band 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Bounty Hunter 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Saturday

Bounty Hunters Big Halloween Bash 6:30 p.m. Southside Saloon and Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com Creed, Advent, As I Lay Dying, Half Price Heros, Oaklynn 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.com

King of the Southside: Battle of the Bands

Finesse, twentynineunder and Brock’s Folly compete for the crown in the first night of five in the CampHouse’s annual Battle of the Bands.

$5 advance/ $7 door 7:30 p.m.

The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Halloween Bash 7 p.m. Jefferson’s Restaurant, 618 Georgia Ave. (423) 710-1560. www.jeffersonsrestaurant.com Buddy Mondlock 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. www.christunity.org Towe Jam 8 p.m. Palms Patio at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd. #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Halloween Bash featuring The Nim Nims, Glowing Bordis, Toneharm 8 p.m. Track 29, Chattanooga Choo Choo Campus, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323. www.track29.co Halloween Party with Bud Lightning 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com Towe Jam 8 p.m. Palms Patio at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd. #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

MUSIC

SATURDAY, OCT. 29

MONDAY, OCT. 31

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191 Thursday, October 27: 9pm

Marty Adams

Friday, October 28: 9pm

Danimal

Saturday, October 29: 9pm

David James

Sunday, October 30

Sunday Night Football $5 Pitchers

Tuesday, November 1

12th Annual All Hallows Eve Bash

Dead Confederate and The Bohannons will tingle your spine.

$3 • 10 p.m.

The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com David James 9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

Clayton Lee 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919.

Skin Deep 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com Slim Pickens 9 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com Black Betty, Planet 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia 12th Annual All Hallows Eve Bash with Dead Confederate and The Bohannons 10 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192.

Halloween Shows

www.thehonestpint.com Halloween Bash: Pontiac Blue, Strung Like A Horse 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100.

(423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Halloween Bash: Function 10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com The Power Players with Queen B & the Well Strung Band 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Sunday

Irish Music Session 3 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com Justin James and Company 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com Zoe Boekbinder The Stone Cup, 330 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-5010. www.stonecupcoffeebar.com Bassheads (DJ Party) 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Parkway, (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com • Saturday, Oct. 29: 12th Annual All Hallows Eve Bash featuring Dead Confederate with The Bohannons.

• Monday, Oct. 31: Halloween Variety Show

Monday

Old Tyme Players 6 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100.

(423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Unsatisfied 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Shock Theatre Orcs, Odist, Opposite Box, Subterranean Cirqus 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com

Tuesday

Troy Underwood 7 p.m. Southside Saloon and Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com Truth & Salvage Co. with Ben Wright 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Wednesday

Roger Alan Wade 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com

featuring the Shock Theater Orchestra, Odist, Opposite Box, Subterranean Cirqus. Magic from Scott Fillers and horror movies.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Boulevard, (423) 266-1400. www.reverbnation.com/venue/jjsbohemia • Friday, Oct. 28: The KISSFITS, Monomath and Rocky Horror Picture Show • Monday, Oct. 31: The Unsatisfied

The Unsatisfied, The Rocky Horror Picture Show

OK, it’s Monday, but it’s still time to scary-party. $5 • 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., #100. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Robert Earl Keen 8 p.m. Track 29, Chattanooga Choo Choo Campus, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323. www.track29.co Jessica Lea Mayfield, Richie Kirkpatrick, Matt and Marty Bohannon 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Tom Evanchuck and the Old Money, Andrew Combs 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com

Server Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers • $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Facebook.com/theofficechatt

Nightly Specials

Got a gig coming up?

Email the particulars to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Track 29 Chattanooga Choo Choo Campus 1400 Market Street, (423) 521-2929. www.track29.co • Saturday, Oct. 29: The Nim Nims, Glowing Bordis and Tone Harm all playing separate sets and converging together on stage for a full-album cover of the Beastie Boys’ Ill Communication. $10. 21+ show. chattanoogapulse.com • October 27, 2011 • THE PULSE

19

Highway 58

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East Ridge

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East Brainerd

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5906 Lee Hwy. • 423-899-96981870

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9231 Lee Hwy. • 423-238-6061

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20

The Pulse • October 27, 2011 • chattanoogapulse.com

Red Bank

Dayton Blvd. • 423-877-9006

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Chickamauga

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Relativity of Abstraction: Wendy White

By Michael Crumb

A

llow me to call Wendy White a perceptual pioneer. Her exhibition of six paintings, currently at the Cress Gallery, has been sparking both widespread interest and prolonged contemplation by viewers. White lives in New York, and her paintings are shown here courtesy of Leo Koenig Gallery of New York City. White arrives here as the latest artist of the Diane Marek Visiting Artist Series, one that continues to bring provocative and fascinating artwork to Chattanooga.

White explains that the six paintings at the Cress are pivotal works, representative of stylistic developments going back to 2005. The most recent work, “5-7 Doyers”, may prove a stylistic breakthrough, uniquely embracing the show space.

These paintings are abstract works, but this term requires some qualification with regard to her presentations. To her credit, these works provoke many questions and trigger much discussion.

Abstract painting embraces a relative spectrum.

Some abstract works present paint and color as strokes and spectra fully apart from any representational impulse. Such works are capable of providing endless visual pleasure, showing a deep intricacy of imaginative freeplay. This is not what White has engaged with, although elements of this style emerge as constitutive parts within her larger constructs.

Another kind of abstraction embraces geometry and mathematics, sometimes very specifically, as in works by Agnes Martin or Dorothea Rockbourne, where there emerges a representational gesture focused on forms. A number of “minimalist” works also comprise this fairly paradoxical field, in which abstraction shows as a kind of essence.

The viewer contemplates forms abstracted from perceptual experience. Here the didactic impulse is minimal. Such forms may also be linked to nature, or to other environments. White’s work has a kinship to such abstraction.

If I may refer to White as a perceptual pioneer, this appellation derives from what appears to me as a kind of perceptual stance suggested by her work, a sort of subliminal distillation of visually complex urban environments into a virtual field that reshapes her canvases and expresses as innovative textures and colors.

White’s abstract painting, “Grass Stain (2006, acrylic and spray paint on canvas), provides a sense of emphasis that continues through her other works shown here. Her intense dynamism of black and white fields connected with colors from a rainbow palette suggests the optical breaking of light into its constituent frequencies. The colors seem

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“Her intense dynamism of black and white fields connected with colors from a rainbow palette suggests the optical breaking of light into its constituent frequencies.” chaotic, but a number of these colorful strokes are also regularized into more geometric shapes, including curves that contain the kind of angles that are associated with the letters of the alphabet, like “B” or “R”. Some black strokes appear like abstracted script. Both the interplay of black and white and the presence of either nascent or actual numbers and letters repeat to a greater or lesser extent through her other works shown here. This abstract painting may not look “urban” specifically, but it may convey and urban feel.

This sense of “feel”, perhaps “tactility”, connects to our intuitive faculty, which some consider a non-linguistic faculty. White’s other five paintings do convey elements recognizable from our common urban experience.

White’s “vocabulary”, if you will, consists of images. Her slide montage of urban images and details from her paintings really constitutes a seventh artwork here, an electronic virtual presentation.

Virtual images can be mirror images that contain reversals. The movement of a glass door in the city

may momentarily display an image of a nearby scene. “Ranc” contains its title reversed as an extension of its apparent frame, more properly, as its frame. The apparent phrase “a los” (Spanish for “to the”) opens to all plural nouns. In Taoism, two things (yang and yin) produce ten thousand.

The impact of reading such “letters” may be dramatic, but it seems altogether the wrong direction from which to catch the drift of these paintings. Perhaps White guides us to the threshold of an intuition conditioned by urban spaces. Many of her “letters” are complete only as visual fields, and some are indistinguishable from numbers. If one pays close attention, there emerges delight in White’s innovative color palette. Perhaps one may find humor in her jamming of forms—is that an “O” or a diamond this time? (“Reformer”).

“5-7 Doyers” just astonishes. Its actual reference to a specific location seems insignificant in relation to its innovation as painting in geometric space, its textures, and nuanced colors. White’s work appears as bold as the creative frontier from which it apparently emerges. Many are paying deep attention to this work. Be one of them!

Wendy White Show runs through December 2 Cress Gallery, UTC Fine Arts Building, Vine & Palmetto Sts. (423) 304-9789. chattanoogapulse.com • October 27, 2011 • THE PULSE

21

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

THURSDAY, OCT. 27

Solo Show: Timur Akhriev

Paintings by local up-andcoming second-generation artist.

No admission charge.

11 a.m. – 5 p.m.

AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282. www.avarts.org

Thursday

Opening Reception and Artist Introduction 5 p.m. Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com Three Blind Wines for Cystic Fibrosis 6 p.m. The Mill, 1601 Gulf St. (423) 634-0331. www.themillofchattanooga.com Artist Pecha Kucha One Off Event 6 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-1282. www.avarts.org Taste of Northshore, Sample of Southside and Not-So-Silent Auction 6 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. www.nnhouse.org Hunter Teen Advisory Council Open House 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Disney on Ice: 100 Years of Magic 7 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 East 4th St. www.utc.com/McKenzieArena Senior Recital 7 p.m. Lee University, 1120 North Ocoee St. (800) 533-9930.

22

The Pulse • October 27, 2011 • chattanoogapulse.com

FRIDAY, OCT. 28

www.leeuniversity.edu Dark of the Moon 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Symphony Orchestra Concert 7 p.m. Lee University, 1120 North Ocoee St. (800) 533-9930. www.leeuniversity.edu All My Sons 7:30 p.m. Bryan College, 721 Bryan Drive, Dayton. www.bryan.edu Hicks Gone Wild 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

Friday

Downtown Marketplace 11 a.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700.

Boo in the Zoo 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. www.chattzoo.org Aqua-Scarium Halloween Party 6:30 p.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496. www.tnaqua.org Candlelight Walk to Honor Victims of Domestic Violence 7 p.m. UTC Library, 615 McCallie Ave. www.StopViolenceGiveHope.org Artstravaganza: AVA’s 25th Anniversary 7 p.m. Waterhouse Pavilion, 850 Market St. www.avarts.org 4th Annual Scared Pink 7 p.m. The Car Barn, 6721 Heritage Business Ct.

(423) 322-5253.

Motown at the Tivoli!

7 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050. www.chattanooga.gov Disney on Ice: 100 Years of Magic 7 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 East 4th St. www.utc.com/McKenzieArena Mystery of Flight 138 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com All My Sons 7:30 p.m. Bryan College, 721 Bryan Drive, Dayton. www.bryan.edu/11835 Friday Night Improv 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3247. www.chattanoogastate.edu Hicks Gone Wild 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com The Acro Cats Live featuring the Rock Cats 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Dark of the Moon 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Stand Up Comedy! Paul Hooper 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images Cabaret, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Saturday

Brainerd Farmers Market

Amazing Acro-Cats Celebrate Halloween

Felines trained in all manner of acrobatic feats. $15/ $12 children younger than 12 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave, (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 458-6281.

Chickstock 11 a.m. Greenway Farms, 5051 Gann Store Rd. www.northchick.org/greenway.html Art till Dark Noon. 40 Frazier Ave. (423) 413-8999. www.arttildark.com The Acro Cats Live featuring the Rock Cats 1, 4, 7 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Disney on Ice: 100 Years of Magic 2, 6 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 East 4th St. www.utc.com/McKenzieArena “Sing, Mahalia, Sing” A Gospel Musical 3, 6 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658.

Boo in the Zoo 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. www.chattzoo.org Mystery at the Nightmare Office Party

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

SATURDAY, OCT. 29

Chattanooga State Concert Choir: Schubert’s Mass No. 4 in C Minor Beautiful voices, beautiful music.

Free, but donations accepted.

7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3383.

5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com A Tale of 4 Souls: A Haunted Spirit Ball 7 p.m. Delta Queen, 100 River St. (423) 757-5259. www.kidsontheblock.net All My Sons 7:30 p.m. Bryan College, 721 Bryan Drive, Dayton. www.bryan.edu/11835 Chattanooga State Music Department Concert 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3247. www.chattanoogastate.edu Hicks Gone Wild 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Mystery at the Redneck-Italian Wedding 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Dark of the Moon

SUNDAY, OCT. 30

8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Stand Up Comedy! Paul Hooper 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images Cabaret, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Sunday

The Chattanooga Market: The Haunted Market 11 a.m. First Tennesee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. www.chattanoogamarket.com Disney on Ice: 100 Years of Magic 1, 5 p.m. UTC McKenzie Arena, 720 East 4th St. www.utc.com/McKenzieArena Beasties, Bones & Boo! Family Cruise 1:30 p.m. River Gorge Explorer, 1 Broad St. (423) 265-0698. www.tnaqua.org Dark of the Moon 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Raoke and the Camp Raid Booksigning 3 p.m. Burks United Methodist Church, 6433 Hixson Pike.

Graduate Recital 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/music Hicks Gone Wild 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Movie Night 8 p.m. Sluggo’s North Vegetarian

Cafe, 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224.

Monday

Trunk or Treat 5 p.m. Hamilton Place Mall, 2100 Hamilton Place Blvd., (423) 894.7177. www.hamiltonplace.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Tuesday

George T. Hunter Lecture Series 7 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/music Songwriter’s Line-up 7 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081.

Wednesday

National Philanthropy Day Luncheon 11:30 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 CSO Overture Luncheon Series 11:30 a.m. Walden Club, 633 Chestnut St. (423) 756-6686. www.chattanoogasymphony.org Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.com

Ongoing

“Pearls” (begins 11/1) Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com “Color in Freedom: Journey along the Underground Railroad” Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd.

The Haunted Market

Frighten yourself and your veggies!

Free Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. www.chattanoogamarket. com (423) 266-8658.

“Looking Up” River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com Sandra Mendez Photography Exhibit Southern Adventist University, 4881 Taylor Cr. Collegedale, TN. (423) 236-2000. www.southern.edu “Kids Like You, Kids Like Me” Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org “Patterns of Behavior” Sewanee University Art Gallery, 735 University Ave. www.gallery.sewanee.edu “Vistas and Visages” North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. Ste. 102.

(423) 870-8924.

“The Art of Wood” In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423)267-9214. www.intowngallery.com AEC Independent Film Series 11 a.m. Carmike Majestic 12, 311 Broad St. (423) 265-5220. www.artsedcouncil.org Tornado Alley 3D IMAX Theater at the Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695. www.tnaqua.org chattanoogapulse.com • October 27, 2011 • THE PULSE

23

HAVA NA R OO M

FIRST-TIME SIGN-UP & RENEWAL PARTY

thursday nov.3 6•10 pm FREE CIGA RS! cigar vendors will be in-house SIGN UP AT THE PARTY & RECEIVE

FREE P O OL great food & drink specials!

CHATTANOOGA BILLIARDS CLUB

banquet and conference center 110 Jordon Drive • 423-499-3883

24

The Pulse • October 27, 2011 • chattanoogapulse.com

Domestic Abuse: One Survivor’s Story

By Jessica William

Editor’s note: October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and Brewer Media has been featuring the efforts of Chattanooga’s Partnership for Families, Children and Adults to assist victims of domestic violence. This is the true story of one survivor.

he apologized and went for “make-up sex”, which was in fact rape. I had to figure my own way out without the help of his son, who was in the house when it happened or from his sister, who lived next door.

M

y name is Jessica Williams. I am a single mom with two wonderful children.

I am a licensed massage therapist; I once worked full time for a chiropractor in a thriving practice. On Saturday, July 21, 2007, I became a statistic.

I had been in a serious relationship with the offender for 15 months before the attack. I know now I had been subject to domestic abuse for most of the relationship. When I decided to take a stand and end the relationship, I found myself in the ER and ultimately here, at the Partnership.

I was discharged from the hospital with a severe concussion and multiple closed and open wounds. My right eye socket was fractured as well as both orbits and temporal bones. My nasal bone was broken across the bridge and my maxillary sinuses were crushed. My cheekbone was fractured on the right side. The left side of my jaw had been dislocated, breaking the right side. My skull had been knocked off its axis. I was told by one of the techs in the ER that my face looked like a broken antique doll. X-rays revealed my left shoulder was completely dislocated from the joint and the left scapula fractured.

I had been jerked up, choked, thrown down and across the room, slung by my hair, ears and eyes, smacked unconscious, pistol-whipped, hit with a beer bottle and knocked out again, dragged across the floor through the glass, slammed into the floor, wall and furniture. I begged for my life. He ranted and raved and brutally continued for well over two hours. Then

I was bedridden for more than three weeks.

I walked with a cane for weeks after that. I returned to work at eight weeks as the receptionist. I was not allowed to drive for two months. I gradually regained strength and began to return to work as a massage therapist. However, due to the injuries I had sustained, it was difficult to perform my duties. I had to endure three surgeries. I had to have the cartilage repaired so my shoulder would stop dislocating. The second surgery called for my jaw to be wired shut for nine weeks. The final surgery was two major procedures at once to reconstruct my sinuses and rebuild my nasal bones.

The offender was initially charged with one count forcible rape, one count aggravated assault, and one count false imprisonment. When the case true billed, the detective was asked why the offender was not charged with attempted murder. The true bill came back with one count aggravated rape, two counts aggravated assault and one count aggravated kidnapping. He received a two-year sentence on a reduced charge of reckless aggravated assault, only having to serve 30 percent of it before being paroled as his plea agreement. Given that he had been in

jail since two days past the assault, 17 months to the day, he was released from the Hamilton County Jail as time served on December 23, 2008. However, he was on a 10-year probation until October 2016 in Catoosa County for aggravated assault, another domestic crime. In Georgia, he was sentenced to five years of the remaining 10-year probation term to be served in one of Georgia’s state prisons. Also he is to reside within the state of Georgia for five years following probation and never to reside in Hamilton County again. The state of Georgia has generously provided an order of protection for me, my family and my dogs until the day the offender officially expires. He will be eligible for parole after 30 percent of the five years is served. That is only 18 months from now. I will be allowed to attend his parole hearings.

Through all of these events, the Partnership has really been wonderful. From the very first night until today, they have provided comfort and support. Robin and Kristen have been rocks. They called and checked on me for days, weeks, even months later…even now. They have provided assistance, counseling and education.

I have never doubted the genuineness of their kindness.

Everyone here at the Partnership is deeply dedicated and strives for nothing less than excellence. My experience has been one of a new journey down roads not traveled before, but with guidance and support from people who have held the hand of many others ahead of me and have passed on their wisdom and love to me.

I am thankful and grateful the Partnership is here to strengthen and encourage me as well as others to heal and grow and get on with the good life God intended us all to live.

To contact the Partnership, visit www.partnershipfca.com or call (423) 755-2822. Crisis Hotline Phone: (423) 755-2700. Confidential line answered 24/7.

Halloween

Party Oct. 29 FOR ADULTS

8-11 p.m.

50¢ Beer (While it lasts!)

Costume Contest

(Final Judging & Prizes: 10 p.m.)

Giveaways Every 30 minutes!

FOR KIDS

1-3 p.m.

Costume Contest

Free Kids Meal with purchase of Adult Meal!

Free Face Painting, Fun Games, and Great Food!

DAILY

Stop Violence. Give Hope.

92 domestic violence fatalities were reported last year in Tennessee.

Partnership’s Family Violence Center has been breaking the cycle of violence and giving hope to victims for 25 years.

Call 755-2700 to stop the violence.

& SPECIALS

KARAOKE TUESDAYS 7 P.M. 618 Georgia Ave • 423-710-1560 jeffersonsrestaurant.com

Visit StopViolenceGiveHope.org to give hope.

chattanoogapulse.com • October 27, 2011 • THE PULSE

25

Celebrate the spirit of giving 24th Annual National Philanthropy Day Awards Luncheon Presented by the Association of Fundraising Professionals Southeastern Tennessee Chapter

11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Wednesday • Nov. 2 • 2011 Chattanooga Convention Center

Tickets and a unique opportunity to honor someone at your table are still available. Call 423-468-1122 for details.

26

The Pulse • October 27, 2011 • chattanoogapulse.com

Please join us to honor: Outstanding Philanthropist

George R. Johnson Family Foundation Leadership Fundraisers

Dr. and Mrs. Fred Obear Corporate Philanthropists

Brewer Media and McDonald’s Chatt-Ad Co-Op

Dining Out In Chattanooga

Porter’s Steakhouse Gets It Right

By D.E. Langley, Pulse Food Reviewer • Photography by Josh Lang

W

hen a restaurant calls itself a “steakhouse,” its intentions are clear. After all, a lot of restaurants serve steaks, but that doesn’t make them steakhouses. Ambiance plays a large part, as does the menu and service. Most important, of course, is the meal itself. When you go to a steakhouse, you have expectations.

Porter’s, located in the Sheraton Read House Hotel downtown, quite simply fits the bill. Even if you’ve never been there before, you get a warm sense of recognition as soon as you enter. A comfortable interior greets the eyes along with smartly dressed servers, and is the first clue that your expectations will be not only met, but exceeded.

The servers themselves are a testament to Porter’s thorough approach to dining. They average a four-year tenure, and are veritable fountains of knowledge about the menu. Pairings, naturally, are spot on.

Executive Chef John Palacio ensures that the menu similarly shines. Changing twice a day to suit the hour, each incarnation offers plenty of options, but being a steakhouse, the meat is obviously the star. The steaks at Porter’s are always prime beef, so-designated for its tenderness and marbling. Chef John personally handles the butchering, ensuring the highest care is taken from the time he receives your beef until it hits your table. A broiling process sears each one, locking in the flavors of the chef’s custom seasoning blend.

First up on my visit, though, was the Maytag bleu cheese salad. Vine-ripened tomatoes and touches of carrot and red onion joined mesclun greens, dressed with port-wine vinaigrette (made, like so much else, right in the kitchen).

The namesake wedge of salty and tangy aged

Maytag was propped alongside, and worked beautifully, its creaminess a perfect contrast to the fresh vegetables and sweetness of the dressing.

Next up was the star and house specialty, the Pepperloin. Garlic-rubbed and onion-marinated for 72 hours, the loin is then rolled in peppercorns for a final touch. The result was spectacularly tender and flavorful, and paired with a sweet, slightly tangy mustard sauce. I couldn’t have asked for much more.

It’s always nice to have a dining experience where everything is just right. Eating at Porter’s offers exactly that. You can even be in and out in 30 minutes if you stop in for lunch. For large parties, private dining rooms are available, and Chef John will gladly create an exclusive menu for special events. Vegetarians are welcome as

“It’s always nice to have a dining experience where everything is just right.

Eating at Porter’s offers exactly that.” well—just ask your server what the kitchen can whip up for you. Give them a visit and reward yourself sometime.

Porter’s Steakhouse, 827 Broad Street. Sunday to Wednesday, 7 a.m. to 10 p.m., and Thursday to Saturday, 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. For more information visit www.porterssteakhouse.com or call (423) 643-1240.

chattanoogapulse.com • October 27, 2011 • THE PULSE

27

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY ROB BREZSNY

Artistic Excellence

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Life is not just a diurnal property of large interesting vertebrates,” poet Gary Snyder reminds us in his book The Practice of the Wild. “It is also nocturnal, anaerobic, microscopic, digestive, fermentative: cooking away in the warm dark.” I call this to your attention, Aries, because according to my astrological reckoning, you’d be wise to honor all the life that is cooking away in the warm dark. It’s the sun-at-midnight time of your long-term cycle; the phase when your luminescent soul throbs with more vitality than your shiny ego. Celebrate the unseen powers that sustain the world. Pay reverence to what’s underneath, elusive, and uncanny. Halloween costume tips: Draw inspiration from the shadow, the dream, the moon, the depths.

SCENIC CITY dance center

Chattanooga’s Premier Dance Facility Now eNrolliNg studeNts

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Speaking on behalf of the cosmic powers-that-be, I hereby give you permission to make your love bigger and braver. Raise it to the next level, Taurus! Help it find a higher expression. Wherever your love has felt pinched or claustrophobic, treat it to a liberation. If it has been hemmed in by a lack of imagination, saturate it with breezy fantasies and flamboyant dreams. Cut it free from petty emotions that have wounded it, and from sour memories that have weighed it down. What else could you do to give love the poetic license it needs to thrive? Halloween costume suggestion: the consummate lover.

423-702-5062 offering Multiple dance disciplines Age 3-adults 6435 lee Highway (old McKay Building) Chattanooga

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): You’ve heard the old platitude, “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” The owner of a pizzeria in Mildura, Australia updated that sentiment in 2010 when the area was invaded by swarms of locusts. “They’re crunchy and tasty,” he said of the bugs, which is why he used them as a topping for his main dish. It so happens that his inventive approach would make good sense for you right now, Gemini. So if life gives you a mini-plague of locusts, make pizza garnished with the delectable creatures. Halloween costume suggestion: pizza delivery person carrying this novel delicacy.

would like to thank the following companies and organizations for their generous support for making our 2011 Club Lib fundraiser a success Chattem Bi-Lo Charities Foundation Brewer Media Group Hippie Radio 106.9 Clear Channel Broadcasting The Lake 98.1 Blush Magazine Budweiser of Chattanooga Coca-Cola Bottling Company Friends of the Library MarkCo Print & Copy

www.sceniccitydance.com info@sceniccitydance.com

28

A special thank you to our amazing 2011 Club Lib Event Chairs Lisa and Dan Nausley

The Pulse • October 27, 2011 • chattanoogapulse.com

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Some doors are almost always locked. On those infrequent occasions when they are ajar, they remain so for only a brief period before being closed and bolted again. In the coming weeks, Cancerian, I urge you to be alert for the rare opening of such a door. Through luck or skill or a blend of both, you may finally be able to gain entrance through—or perhaps exit from—a door or portal that has been shut tight for as long as you remember. Halloween costume suggestion: the seeker who has found the magic key.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Microbiologist Raul Cano managed to obtain a 45-million-year-old strain of yeast from an ancient chunk of amber. It was still alive! Collaborating with a master brewer, he used it to make a brand of beer. One critic praised Fossil Fuel pale ale for its sweetness and clove aroma, while another said it has a “complex and well-developed taste profile.” I regard their successful project as a good metaphor for the task you have ahead of you in the coming weeks, Leo: extracting the vital essence from an old source, and putting it to work in the creation of a valuable addition to your life.

Halloween costume suggestions: a friendly ghost, a polite and helpful mummy, a cloned version of Buddha, the person you were as a child.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “When I read a book on Einstein’s physics of which I understood nothing, it doesn’t matter,” testified Pablo Picasso, “because it will make me understand something else.” You might want to adopt that approach for your own use in the coming weeks, Virgo. It’s almost irrelevant what subjects you study and investigate and rack your brains trying to understand; the exercise will help you stretch your ability to master ideas that have been beyond your reach—and maybe even stimulate the eruption of insights that have been sealed away in your subconscious mind. Halloween costume suggestion: an eager student, a

white-coated lab researcher, Curious George.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Sit, walk, or run, but don’t wobble,” says the Zen proverb. Now I’m passing it on to you as advice worthy of your consideration. Maintaining clarity of purpose will be crucial in the coming weeks. Achieving crispness of delivery will be thoroughly enjoyable. Cultivating unity among all your different inner voices will be a high art you should aspire to master. Whatever you do, Libra, do it with relaxed single-mindedness. Make a sign that says “No wobbling,” and tape it to your mirror. Halloween costume suggestion: Be the superhero known as No Wobbling.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You could preside over your very own Joy Luck Club in the coming days. According to my reading of the astrological omens, the levels of gratification possible could exceed your normal quota by a substantial margin. You may want to Google the Chinese character that means “double happiness” and use it as your ruling symbol.

And it might be time to explore and experiment with the concepts of “super bliss,” “sublime delight,” and “brilliant ecstasy.” Halloween costume suggestions: a saintly hedonist from paradise; a superhero whose superpower is the ability to experience extreme amounts of pleasure; the luckiest person who ever lived.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): For over a hundred years, an English woman named Lena Thouless celebrated her birthday on November 23. When she was 106, her daughter found her birth certificate and realized that mom had actually been born on November 22. I’m guessing that a comparable correction is due in your own life, Sagittarius. Something you’ve believed about yourself for a long time is about to be revealed as slightly off. Halloween costume suggestion: a version of yourself from a parallel reality or another dimension.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “Everyone is a genius at least once a year,” said scientist Georg Lichtenberg. According to my reading of the astrological omens, Capricorn, the coming weeks will be your time to confirm the truth of that aphorism. Your idiosyncratic brilliance is rising to a fever pitch, and may start spilling over into crackling virtuosity any minute now. Be discriminating about where you use that stuff; don’t waste it on trivia or on triumphs that are beneath you. Halloween costume suggestions: Einstein, Marie Curie, Leonardo da Vinci, Emily Dickinson.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You’re ready to shed juvenile theories, amateurish approaches, or paltry ambitions. I’m not implying you’re full of those things; I’m just saying that if you have any of them, you’ve now got the power to outgrow them. Your definition of success needs updating, and I think you’re up to the task. Why am I so sure? Well, because the Big Time is calling you—or at least a Bigger Time. Try this: Have brainstorming sessions with an ally or allies who know your true potential and can assist you in formulating aggressive plans to activate it more fully. Halloween costume suggestions: a head honcho, big wheel, fat cat, top dog.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I know a woman who claims on her Facebook page that she speaks four languages: English, Elvish, Mermish, and Parseltongue. (For those of you who don’t read Tolkien or Harry Potter, Elvish is the language of the elves, Mermish of the mermaids and mermen, and Parseltongue of the serpents.) My Facebook friend probably also knows Pig Latin, baby talk, and glossolalia, although she doesn’t mention them. I’d love for you to expand your mastery of foreign tongues, Pisces, even if it’s just one of the above—and the coming weeks and months will be an excellent time to begin. You will have a greater capacity for learning new ways to talk than you have since childhood. Halloween costume suggestion: a bilingual bisexual ambidextrous expert in reciting tongue twisters.

JONESIN’ CROSSWORD MATT JONES

Free to Be — no theme, just freestyle madness.

Across 1. Document of 1215 11. Set one’s sights 14. Arrangement of resources or funds 15. “So Big” author Ferber 16. Hang in there till the end 17. Little girl’s dream birthday present 18. Actress Ann of “The Whales of August” 19. 301, in ancient Rome 21. To the back of the ship 22. Words yelled on the porch 25. It merged with Bell Atlantic to become Verizon 26. Shady figure?

28. 1990s wrestling show on USA (until the league changed its name) 30. Flubs 32. Fashion legend Christian 34. Potato pancake 35. Rum desserts 37. Toots & the Maytals

genre 38. Fathers 39. Leg of a race, in French 40. Chilean currency 42. Riga resident 43. Washington-area airport 45. “Star Trek: Voyager” station 46. ___-Hulk (Marvel superheroine) 47. Feature at the end of some wire cutters or French nails 49. More widespread 52. Ultra-bright 53. Copper head?

54. Dish out little barbs 57. Like a “Let’s Make a Deal” door selection, odds-wise 59. Dollar competitor 60. Digit-al agreement?

61. Vessel in some rites 62. Metalworkers’ locales Down 1. Furniture in a spa

2. Cloud type 3. Disco fixture 4. Nighttime in Nogales 5. Actress Amy of “Angel” and “Dollhouse” 6. Like a stone mound set up as a memorial 7. Top-of-memo abbr.

8. Movie with Blu the macaw 9. Affect 10. Aphid that creates a milky food for other insects 11. Fuss 12. Traveler’s stop 13. One of a dozen 15. Huge blunder 20. Monks’ hoods 22. Instruction for Johnny, in a “Breakfast Club” monologue 23. Preservationist working at a museum 24. Suddenly surge forward 27. Have trouble with the “missus”?

29. Canadians, vis-a-vis

Cambodians, e.g.

31. Trees of the future 33. Sound like a heavy smoker 36. Scary words on a school paper 41. How some indie bands’ singles are released, for music connoisseurs 44. Gets down 48. “Am I right?” at the end of UK sentences 50. Unable to sit still 51. Vowel sound 53. Similar 54. Stick in the microwave 55. Wall climber 56. Turn down 58. Storm heading: abbr.

Jonesin' Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0543

chattanoogapulse.com • October 27, 2011 • THE PULSE

29

LIFE IN THE NOOG chuck crowder

Annexation With Representation

M

ayor Ron Littlefield’s grandiose plans to annex outlying areas people already consider part of “Chattanooga” might be thwarted in some places if a renegade, petition-toting protest committee has its way.

Seems that a group of citizens concerned over the prospect of having to pay city taxes if Littlefield gets his way is rising up to form a more perfect union.

Representatives from the northeast outskirts of Ooltewah, Harrison, Georgetown and Birchwood are looking at the possibility of creating their own city—which they will call “Hamilton.” This new addition to its namesake Hamilton County is proposed as a preemptive strike against any threat of being sucked into Chattanooga’s borders at any time in the future of Littlefield’s proposed urban-growth plan.

This plan is to capitalize on the startup of Volkswagen and others by looking at potential city growth within the county. In the past, seems that ye of little faith in Enterprise South hadn’t thought of trying to annex these communities BEFORE a major manufacturer said yes. But now that VW, Amazon and

honest music

others have set up massive shops within a short drive of the aquarium, we’re all-of-a-sudden welcoming in our oncedistant cousins with open arms.

Until recently, County Mayor Jim Coppinger was on the edge of his wingback leatherette seat awaiting Littlefield’s detailed plan, which was hand-delivered (via horseback messenger, I’m sure) sometime last week. It outlined a plan that would extend city borders all the way to Bradley County in some corners, and include all of the aforementioned towns.

If annexed, these areas would become privy to all of the niceties that we “for real” Chattanoogans already take for granted, like paved secondary roads, regular garbage service, police that don’t wear five-

local and regional shows

Sat, Oct 29 • 12th Annual All Hallows Eve Bash

point stars and fire stations that don’t require volunteers. Best of all, they can all start putting “Chattanooga, TN” on their outgoing mail.

The problem is, all of these luxuries come at a cost.

One of the tricks of living in a city like ours is that you can claim you live in Chattanooga without ever having to pay the taxes it takes to maintain it. In fact, you can say you live in “North Chattanooga” or even “downtown” if you live in some parts of Red Bank, for example. I did.

From my previous “duck pond-area” home I could see the Chattanooga city limits sign from my front porch.

However, I paid the lower county taxes.

I thought it was a real treat to live just a mile or two from the skyscrapers of downtown and not have to pay for it. I would taunt my North Chattanooga friends with tales of the low taxes I paid and brag about how quickly I could get home from their house.

At the end of the day, however, I still lived in Red Bank. And, that stigma was a little harder to overcome upon resale than the benefit of lower taxes. It’s true what they say: “Location, location, location.”

But when the location is typically reserved for homeowners or renters who can’t afford to live in North

“I’m afraid, with all of Hamilton’s promise, the town will seem as neighborly and folksy as Mayberry for a few years— then fall victim to Walmart’s next super-store location that ruins it all.”

Chattanooga, there’s only so much shining you can do. “Where are you livin’ these days?” “Red Bank.”

“Oh…” That’s why I’m not really sure why the property owners in those outlying areas are so quick to throw up a town square called “Hamilton” as opposed to becoming part of the bigger picture. Nothing but disappointment and pity crosses my mind whenever I drive down Red Bank’s Dayton Boulevard or Ringgold Road in East Ridge. It’s like atom bombs went off, killing all signs of life but leaving the shells of once-thriving retail stores that are now inhabited

by Mad Max check cashers, title

pawners and spicy fried-chicken huts.

I’m afraid, with all of Hamilton’s promise, the town will seem as neighborly and folksy as Mayberry for a few years—but then fall victim to Walmart’s next super-store location that ruins it all. Might as well roll up “Alexander Boulevard” or “Ten Buck Street” or whatever they end up calling the main drag.

On top of that, I think that most of the areas mentioned as becoming part of Hamilton already play second fiddle to Ooltewah. So, if you live in a McMansion in the more desirable area of Ooltewah, and now some 3/2 rancher in Birchwood is considered just as good ’cause it’s in the same town, who wins? Not Ooltewahans.

You see, these are the kinds of things I think about in my spare time. And it might behoove Hamilton’s founding fathers to carefully read the writing on their own Constitution before they have to plead the fifth.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts.

What 35 Patten Parkway was meant to be.

Dead Confederate &The Bohannons

Costume Contest • Tickets: thehonestpint.com Door: 9pm • Show: 10pm

Mon, Oct 31 • First Halloween Variety Show

Shock Theatre Orcs, Odist, Opposite Box, Subterranean Cirqus, Horror Movies! $7 • Costume Contest $100 First Prize

Thur, Oct 27 Scissor Men &The Water Bros.

9pm • $3 cover

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Wed, Nov 2 Sun, Oct 30 James Justin & Co. Baby Baby & Revelry 9pm • $3 cover 7pm • $3 cover

The Pulse • October 27, 2011 • chattanoogapulse.com

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

chattanoogapulse.com • October 27, 2011 • THE PULSE

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