The Pulse 9.12 » March 22-28, 2012 by Brewer Media Group

March 22-28, 2012

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Eat, Drink...Drink!

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

PULSE POUR-OFF SEEKING CHATTANOOGA’S DANIEL LINDLEY JUST EARNED HIS THIRD JAMES BEARD AWARD NOMINATION

champion bartender » P12

PLAYS WITH FIRE » MUSIC

THE THRILL GOES ON RICHARD WINHAM ON B.B. KING ARTS

play ‘mousetrap’ agatha christie classic at ctc

MIKE MCJUNKIN profiles THE CITY’S HOTTEST CHEF

WINE TIME special 8-page pull-out wine section inside— no corkage fee!

2 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

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EDITORIAL Publisher Zachary Cooper Creative Director Bill Ramsey Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder • Michael Crumb • John DeVore Brook Evans • Randall Gray • Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib Paul Hatcher • Janis Hashe • Matt Jones • Chris Kelly D.E. Langley • Mike McJunkin • David Morton Ernie Paik • Alex Teach • Richard Winham Cartoonists Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jesse Reklaw • Richard Rice • Tom Tomorrow Photography Josh Lang • Lesha Patterson Interns Britton Catignani • Kinsey Elliott Molly Farrell • Rachel Saunders

ADVERTISING Sales Director Lysa Greer Account Executives David Barry • Rick Leavell

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Contents

MARCH 22-28, 2012 • issue no. 9.12

On the cover

Daniel Lindley photographed at Alleia, his Main Street restaurant, on March 14, 2012, by Lesha Patterson

COVER STORY

Daniel Lindley

• Our own favorite chef, Mike McJunkin, talks to the three-time James Beard Awardnominee about his life in the kitchen. » 8 music

The Thrill Goes On

• Blues legend B.B. King comes to Chattanooga’s majestic Tivoli Theatre next week. Richard Winham offers an appreciation of the king. » 14 WINE

Pop Your Cork!

• It’s spring—and wine time! Our special eight-page pull-out section explores some of the city’s best wine lists and finds any season is Champagne season. » Special Center Section

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chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 3

BOWL

THE

TALK OF THE NOOG

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URBAN DESIGN

Eat Here Now

Downtown dining options grow there are many aspects of economic development and business that impact a city’s livability and vibrancy. Consider what the impact of food and dining culture have on a city and its health. As citizens, what other aspect of that economic fabric do we interact with on a more regular basis with our cold, hard, and of late, limited cash? Chef Daniel Lindley is on the cover this week. The investments made into his three culinary ventures, St. John’s, St. John’s Meeting Place and Alleia have been successful not only for Lindley, but they have been important components of revitalizing the Southside of Chattanooga. Likewise, Matt Lewis’ trio of restaurant-bars—Hair of The Dog Pub, Terminal Brewhouse and The Honest Pint— have also had significant influence and economic impact on the surrounding blocks of their locations. When 212 Market opened it doors a block away from the newly minted Tennessee Aquadrium 20 years ago, it was, perhaps, the most significant new investment downtown besides the Aquarium itself. Skeptical of that statement? Ask yourself this: When someone walks out of the penguin exhibit, where do they go next? The vibrancy of neighboring retail and restaurant establishment to destinations and landmarks is important in obtaining the interest, and dollars, of visitors. These developments are even more significant to our local population and fanning the embers of growth. Consider how often a consumer engages in purchas-

4 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

“

Expanding choices is central to the equation. What’s better than one new restaurant opening on a city block? Three. People would rather commute to a single location, look around and have multiple dinning options on a Friday night. ing those services within, say, a given week. Quick lunches at a local food truck, a dinner with business colleagues, happy hour cocktails with friends, buying some hand made chocolates for a gift ... the number of occasions one has to spend their money locally and its impact on the local economy is, collectively, massive.

Our current mix of food and beverage choices continues to expand with the more recent additions of Hot Chocolatier opening their Main Street location and The Mean Mug coffeehouse hanging their shingle across the street from their sweet-treat neighbors. Looking forward, some significant developments are coming soon. Fork & Pie Bar will be opening on Market Street, specializing in savory and sweet pies that will fill out with a full menu tailored to this national food trend. Pure Soda Works, local makers of tasty carbonated beverages, will soon be setting up a bottling and retail shop on River Street in the North Shore. Tiffanie Robinson and Brandi Siler are looking to take advantage of the expanding choices by starting a venture called EATS: Chattanooga Food Tours. For a flat fee, people can take part in a tour of local restaurants with menu tastings, offering a culinary overview of the city’s fare. With Robinson, an owner of the Brewhaus and On The List Catering, and Siler, owner of the Southern Burger Company, leading the way, it’s a good bet that the food and beverage industry will grow. Active recruitment of restaurants remains a priority, and much more is currently in the works. Blair Waddell, a retail recruitment specialist with River City Company, said in an email regarding the organizations active efforts, “River City Company is actively seeking and recruiting new retail and restaurants for the downtown, specifically in the City Center district in an attempt to connect the North Shore to the Southside with plenty of activity occurring

on the ground floor level. We have multiple prospects for restaurant/ retail in this area that are mostly independently owned businesses, which will protect the unique culture of our downtown and keep it distinct from other downtowns.” Expanding choices is central to the equation. What’s better than one new restaurant opening on a city block? Three. People would rather commute to a single location, look around and have multiple dining options on a Friday night. If satisfied, they come back and try another place. Indian cuisine one night, steaks the next, gastro pub fare and a pint of ale the next. Smart restaurant owners in dense urban areas realize it’s more of a risk to sit alone on the block. While they likely want to be the only restaurant offering their type of cuisine, they would rather not sit alone. There is safety and economic strength in numbers. There is a lot of investment riding on the food and beverage industry in our city. We get to take part in that engine of growth on a regular basis and we reap immediate rewards in the process. The fastest way to a city’s economic heart is, not surprisingly, its stomach. Not to mix commentary with commerce (as if we are not already), but a short note on The Pulse’s role in the local restaurant scene continues to expand. On April 19, our seasonal restaurant guide, Chattanooga Chow, will make its debut within the pages of the paper, which will also mark the debut of the Pulse PourOff Bartender Challenge. For details on that upcoming event, see Page 12. Until then, bon appetit and cheers! —Zachary Cooper

CITY SHARE

Tomasula to share fabric of life with city on wednesday, march 28, City Share will feature Matt Tomasula, founder of CityFabric, Inc., a Chapel Hill, N.C.-based organization that promotes civic and social engagement through simple map-based products. Tomasula is an entrepreneurial designer, urbanist, civic instigator and active community member who investigates connecting people with their place through civic and social engagement. In January, Tomasula instigated his first two civic-minded projects, “Walk Raleigh” and “North is That Way,” both exploring different forms of guerrilla way-finding. “Walk Raleigh” was CityFabric’s initial step in linking the purchase of products to the funding and promotion of real-life, small-scale civic and social interventions. The project is a very basic, selfinstalled way-finding system of 27 signs placed at three different intersections in downtown Raleigh. These signs were intended to put walkability on the forefront of conversation about the future of downtown Raleigh. “Communicating the process of change and design in the built environment is crucial for inspiring people to get involved in the decisions that determine the direction of their city. The more people talk about and understand their place, the more they will get involved in their community,” Tomasula said. Tomasula will share more of his story and his theories on downtown mobility during the City Share presentation, which is free and open to the public. Lunch will be provided. If you are interested in attending, please RSVP to info@glasshousecollective. org or visit City Share’s Facebook page. —Staff

Editoon

rick baldwin

LOST & FOUND

Missing mic returned by mysterious means a shure sm58 microphone once used by punk legend Lux Interior of The Cramps has been returned to its owner, Eric Scealf of the Chattanooga rock band The Unsatisfied, but Scealf has no idea who returned it. The microphone vanished in February after the band played a show in Atlanta. After an exhaustive search, Scealf decided to offer a $500 reward for its return and the story was picked up by several websites. Until last week, he presumed the coveted microphone was lost forever. But on St. Patrick’s Day, his plea was answered when the microphone arrived by firstclass mail in an anonymous package. “There’s a Dallas postmark, but the return address is bo-

gus. We had it checked out,” Scealf said. “There was no note or anything, just my mic wrapped in some paper and one of those Guy Fawkes masks. That’s it, nothing else.” Scealf said he rarely uses the microphone (the procure-

ment of which is a story in itself), but carries it with him for good luck. “I used it for a few shows after I got it, just because it had Lux’s mojo on it,” Scealf said. “After Lux died a few years ago I started taking it with me on the road and pretty much everywhere we went. It stayed in my make-up case, it just felt good having it with me, kind of my good luck charm.” Scealf is very curious about who returned the mic and said the reward is still available. “I’ll gladly pay the $500 reward if somebody comes forward with proof that they sent it. If not, I’m just glad I got Lux’s microphone back. I feel like King Arthur having Excalibur returned!” —Staff chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 5

On the Beat

alex teach

Camaraderie at 20,000 Feet i was sleeping soundly at 20,000 feet above sea level aboard a Boeing 737 enroute to Washington, D.C. (I would like to type “The End” here and now, such is the peace that sentence brings to mind.) As most infrequent fliers will attest to, sleep aboard a plane is like spotting a unicorn in the wild: It’s a magical and elusive beast akin to a logical or fundamental-thinking politician, but sadly they are both only things of fiction. I was dreaming of being a white chocolate hockey puck being used in the finals when I felt a tap on my shoulder I took as an assault on my person. After instinctively dismissing the possibility of harm as my hands briefly flailed, I saw that it was merely a flight attendant asking how she could help me. “Bushmills,” I said as my eyes fluttered open and I struggled to orient myself. “Where am I, is this … what? What do you…” I was babbling, confused and scared until my eyes happened upon the overhead bin and the “need assistance” light that was glowing peacefully when I realized what had happened. My buddies had waited until I entered that rare high-altitude REM sleep, reached up and hit the “help” button above my head from the seat behind

me. Well played. “Nothing, Miss. My mistake,” I told the flight attendant, both simplifying things and not giving the aforementioned buddies credit for getting one over on me. I used the experience to get up and use the restroom, which is always another entirely fascinating journey aboard an aircraft. I took a little longer than I should have, then on the way back I decided to change seats to the one behind me, where the funniest cop in America was sitting. “Ass or crotch?” I asked him as he tried to hide a grin while gloating on the earlier wakeup call. “Wha..?” He got out as I abruptly said “Crotch,” and began scooting in front of him, facing him. As I passed I let my arms and hands brush against

“

Some of you curious souls occasionally ask what police work is like. What I’ve described in this column is a good 20 percent of it— and I’ve done the math. him, and now it was his turn to be confused and annoyed as a thick, viscous liquid dripped on him and was rubbed into his forearms by my passing. I absently said, “Sorry, no paper towels.” He was a germaphobe and too resolute a one to consider that I’d been messing with his head, as well. The smell of rubbing alcohol washed over him and his burgeoning rage and horror subsided, and he wisely chose to smile. (Aggression was the only way to lose these competitions, after all.) Ahh … cops going on an outof-town, all-expense paid business trip. (All expenses paid, yes, but as we were reminding each other, nothing is ever truly

without a price.) We sat quietly and I pulled out a book. He chose to pop in ear buds to enjoy his iPhone’s music library. I kept an eye on him as I cracked my softback copy of “Act of Valor” (chosen just for this trip), and kept silent watch to avoid more subterfuge. I was about to congratulate myself when I realized he had told a different flight attendant, “No, he doesn’t want a beverage. Allergies,” or some such nonsense, as she passed by with the once-a-trip beverage cart. And this after he knew I hadn’t packed a flask! Ugh. I let a few minutes go by and tapped him on the shoulder, prompting him to remove an ear bud. “Yah?” he said. “Nevermind, sorry,” I responded. Another minute went by when I again tapped his arm, and again he removed he ear bud. “Can I have your Sky Mall?” “There is one in every seat, man. Grab your own.” I responded in the affirmative, and let another minute pass before I tapped his elbow. He looked at me, holding the headphone now, and I said, “That’s what she said, you know.” “What..?” he replied, eyebrows furrowed in confusion,

as I again waved him off. To his credit, though, by my fourth interruption he had caught on to my game of distraction and we called truce. (It lasted seven minutes.) The above represents just the first 30 minutes of a four-day trip four veteran cops took to Washington, D.C. Some of you curious souls occasionally ask what police work is like. What I’ve described in this column is a good 20 percent of it—and I’ve done the math. There is no end to this interlude on the plane forthcoming. There is no point to it, either … but if I had to summarize it all in a word? Camaraderie. Because it was like this from the time we left Chattanooga to the time we returned. We get along, or we get out. And in my mind, getting along is a pretty great feeling we take for granted. Let this be a helpful hint … or a warning sign to the uncertain, come to think of it. (And that, as they say, is what she said.) Alex Teach is a full-time police officer of nearly 20 years experience. The opinions expressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/ alex.teach.

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6 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

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Shrink Rap

SHROOMIN’

SPECIALS

DR. RICK PIMENTAL-HABIB

Goodbye, Craig if you saw the film or read the novel “the help,” you’ll remember the line, “You is kind, you is smart, and you is important.” One of my best friends, Craig, whom you’ve read about in this column from time to time, died a few weeks ago. And I want to share a bit with you about this inspirational human being. Craig was witty, mischievous, sometimes irreverent, and led a life devoted to helping others both personally (often anonymously, no thanks required … a living model of random acts of kindness) and professionally (he was a successful occupational therapist working with troubled veterans). This despite the challenges that come with being a heart-transplant patient, an amputee, and adapting to myriad other ailments that required his taking a daily truckload of medication. He was also a deeply spiritual man with a faith born of a difficult childhood, periods of monastic devotion, and an unyielding love for God. He was a Southern boy. He was all of this. And he was my friend. He was the kind of friend with whom you could discuss anything, laugh about anything, and be inspired for betterment. He modeled what hope now means to me, and regularly delivered subtle lessons—just by being himself—about kindness,

CheCk out the Cat in the hat

peace, the power of a positive attitude and unconditional love. He was the sort of friend that we’re terribly fortunate to have even once a lifetime. And while some say that his best qualities didn’t show up until later in his short life (who among us are so terrific in our misspent youths?), he left this world un-alone, surrounded by many who cared deeply for him, people who disrupted their own lives to see to his medical care, provide quiet company and share the love. At his service outside of Memphis I gave a reading from Job (19:21-27), and delivered one of the eulogies. This was by his request and design; he figured I could handle it. But I’ll confess: That privileged moment

ranks as one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my adulthood. I’m no stranger to death and grief, but this was Craig. The guy who, when he first told me that he was near the end of this life, made me realize that my own quality of life was about to take a nosedive. This is how all of us in his “adopted family” felt. But as usual, he somehow got me laughing about it, convincing me that I’d be OK. At the Episcopal Church where Craig’s service was held, Father Allan’s homily included this passage: “Those who knew Craig understood that he held a deep spiritual center. Like many gay men, the Christian Church had told him he was an abomination to God; that his illnesses were proof of God’s judgment. But like Job and all people with an abiding faith, rather than lash out, seek revenge, or argue with his scoffers, Craig chose to put his trust in God and embrace with all his heart the promise that ‘in my flesh I shall see God on my side.’ We would do well to em-

ON APRIL 19 CHOW WILL EAT THE PULSE CHATTANOOGA CHOW RESTAURANT GUIDE

Downtown brace his example.” When a loved one dies, we have many reasons to grieve. One is that we lose our mirror—that face into which we could see, looking back at us, validation of all the goodness that a deep, perhaps hidden part of us always hoped we were capable of. We lose, in that face, the reflection of how we’d like the world to see us. My hope for my relationship with Craig is that, while I grieve, we both experience the loosening of any bonds from our earthly friendship, so that he can embark on his new wonderful adventure without burden. If we who are left behind allow ourselves permission to laugh, cry and remember, then in our hearts Craig will live on unencumbered, whole and well, with the comfort that his acts of kindness will be with us forever. And if we’ve really learned his lessons, we’ll pay them forward. Craig was kind. Craig was smart. And Craig was important. Deep in my soul that is how he’ll stay. Goodbye, dear friend. Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist in private practice in Chattanoog. Visit his website at drrhp.com.

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Daniel Lindley cooks in the kitchen of Alleia, one of three restaurants the chef owns in Chattanooga.

8 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Daniel Lindley

chose cooking over the visual arts, a decision influenced by a grilled cheese sandwich. He never went to culinary school, but owns three restaurants and has just been nominated—for a third time—for a James Beard Award (the culinary Oscar) as the Best Chef: Southeast.

By Mike McJunkin Photos • Lesha Patterson

every spring the fooderati gather for the academy awards of the food world, the James Beard Awards. This year’s list of nominees include celebrity chefs such as Michael Chiarello, Wylie Dufresne, Hugh Acheson and Chris Consentino, but Chattanooga’s eyes were on the “Best Chef: Southeast” category where Daniel Lindley, chef and owner of St. John’s Restaurant, St John’s Meeting Place and Alleia Restaurant, received his third nomination. While he did not advance to the finals, Lindley handles his nomination with classic Southern politeness and modesty. It is a huge honor not just for him, but for Chattanooga as well. ¶ When I first met Lindley, he emerged from the kitchen with a genuine but tired smile, his blond hair and black chef’s jacket beginning to show signs of a chef at work. His demeanor is casual yet collected and he is comfortable but passionate when he talks about his work and the dishes he creates. As I spoke to him about his background, the Chattanooga food scene and the upcoming James Beard Awards, I immediately sensed that this is a chef who is on his game and couldn’t be happier. “Cookery is not chemistry. It is an art. It requires instinct and taste rather than exact measurements.” —Marcel Boulestin To capture the attention of the James Beard Foundation requires both an artist’s eye and a well-developed palette. From a very young age Lindley had an interest in painting, drawing and music, but it was a humble grilled cheese sandwich that set him upon a different path. “Grilled cheese was the first thing I made as a teenager,” Lindley says. “I loved them and I tried to make them better every time, slipping some pepperoni or garlic salt in there.” After graduating high school, Lindley worked in some of Chattanooga’s bestknown eateries, washing dishes at the

Back Inn Café and working as a baker at Southside Grill in the mid 1990s. He had intended to go to art school, but by then the kitchen had sealed his fate. The culinary sirens played their seductive song and the 20-year-old took his artist’s eye to the highly competitive world of New York restaurants. Lindley initially moved to Westchester County, N.Y., with a friend and worked for Chef Terry Harwood at the beautiful Harvest on Hudson restaurant on the banks of the Hudson River. In 1998, he landed an enviable position working under Tom Colicchio at the legendary Gramercy Tavern, then spent a season cooking in the Hamptons on Shelter Island before returning home »P10

chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 9

to Chattanooga for the opening of St. John’s Restaurant in 2000. While he has great respect for what a culinary education can do, Lindley didn’t attend culinary school. “When I moved to New York, I thought I might, but I ended up at some great restaurants,” he says. “It’s one of the few occupations that you don’t have to have a piece of paper to practice.” Just take one part natural talent, one part hard work, add a touch of opportunity and you have a recipe for a James Beard Award nominee. If only it were that easy—this year alone there were a record setting 57,000 nominations for the coveted prize. The James Beard Foundation Awards were created to honor the highest levels of achievement within the food world. Naturally, the process is done as furtively as possible, but there are essentially four steps to becoming a James beard winner. Nominees are first recommended by a respected food critic. A group chosen by the foundation then visits the restaurant to evaluate the food, service and presen-

Eat any of Lindley’s culinary creations and you’ll immediately understand why he is a threetime nominee, starting with the care he puts into sourcing the best ingredients. tation. Five finalists are selected in each of the 20 categories by a panel of restaurant critics, food and wine editors, and previous award winners. From those five finalists the winners are chosen and announced during an elaborate ceremony, complete with celebrities, paparazzi and a green carpet walk. This year’s awards take place May 7 in New York City’s Lincoln Center and are being hosted by the ubiquitous Al-

49 39 10 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

ton Brown of Food Network fame. In spite of the attention the awards bring, Lindley says he never really sought the spotlight, focusing instead on cooking food he loves and setting standards for quality that could hold up regionally as well as locally. “I’m definitely my hardest critic,” he says. “I want the experience people receive at my restaurants to stand up to the standard people experience in other great restaurants in the region.” Eat any of Lindley’s culinary creations and you’ll immediately understand why he is a threetime nominee, starting with the care he puts into sourcing the best ingredients. Lindley has been a proponent of using locally sourced foods since his days in New York. Gramercy Tavern was just a few blocks from Union Square Greenmarket, so he was quickly exposed to how successful farm-to-table eating can be for a restaurant. “Conceptually and ideologically we’ve been pushing that idea here since we started,” Lindley says. “That’s been our desire since the

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beginning, when we began working with Crabtree and Sequatchie Cove Farm. Now there are too many for us to buy from them all. The growth in the availability of locally produced foods is very exciting to see.” That excitement about food is still evident, even when Lindley talks about cooking at home. “At home, more often than not I end up exploring different ethnic foods that I’m excited about,” he says. “Indian food is probably my favorite, but I like most food.” Then a huge smile breaks across his face. “My son’s favorite food is sushi, so we make sushi at home pretty often too.” Asking a chef his favorite ingredient is like asking a parent to pick their favorite child. Lindley says he prefers to think about it more in terms of seasonality. “We’re about to get ramps,” he muses, offering another big smile. “The coolness of ramps coupled with the touch of spring—that experience of tasting something seasonal in context is what makes it so special. But summer is my favorite season, not only food-wise

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but in general.“ Then Lindley hints at a possible contender for a favorite: “Heirloom tomatoes are one of the most exciting things to me. There is so much you can do with them.” As our conversation winds down Lindley pulls out his phone and begins to excitedly take me through pictures of a new dish he’s been experimenting with. “It’s a twist on a Vitello Tonnato,” he says with more enthusiasm than I had seen throughout the rest of our conversation. “It’s a veal dish with a sauce made from pureed tuna. It uses Tombo ahi tuna from Hawaii, part of which is confit while the rest is pureed with veal liquid, eggs, capers, Dijon. Served with minced asparagus and other veggies with veal shortribs on top.” It’s a brilliant and beautiful dish that made me want to immediately add it to my catalog of taste references. That reaction is exactly what makes a chef a James Beard Award-nominee and makes Daniel Lindley one of Chattanooga’s finest culinary artisans.

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I’m definitely my hardest critic. I want the experience people receive at my restaurants to stand up to the standard people experience in other great restaurants in the region. Daniel Lindley

chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 11

Hey, Bartender The Pulse and Chattanooga Chow are proud to sponsor the 2012 Pour-Off Bartender Challenge! In conjunction with the April 19 introduction of Chattanooga Chow inside the pages of The Pulse, we’re laying down the gauntlet to local bartenders. We’re in search of the city’s best bartender—a mixologist who pours the best drinks in town, takes pleasure in offering soothing advice and the requisite discretion that makes he or she the finest barside companion in Chattanooga. Finalists for the competition will be profiled in The Pulse on April 19 and the winner will be crowned at the Pour-Off.

The rules: • The Challenge is open to any restaurant, nightclub or bar in Chattanooga. • Establishments must nominate a bartender for the honor of competing in the Pour-Off (to be held at a local venue just after our April 19 issue hits the stands) by email to: creative@chattanoogapulse.com • Bartenders must have created or create a signature drink in order to compete. • During the event, competing bartenders will go headto-head with the competition and the winner will be crowned by an invitation-only crowd of the city’s most discriminating cocktail enthusiasts who will determine the 2012 Pour-Off Bartender Challenge champion!

ENTER TODAY—DEADLINE: APRIL 5, 2012

12 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

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MARCH 22-28

» pulse picks

LONG GONE DARLINGS

THU03.22

FRI 03.23 Alt-country rockers return from Nashville for a hometown show. Market Street Tavern 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern. com

MUSIC McKay’s Road to Nightfall • Local bands compete for the chance to headline the summer concert series. 8 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews • 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 • rhythm-brews.com

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» pulse pick OF THE LITTER: A MEDLEY OF MUSICAL FLAVORS

Steele Wines Showcase

Musical Smorgasbord A buffet of sounds for every taste offered this week No matter what genre (or era) your musical tastes, the variety of band and performers descending upon Chattanooga to entertain you continues to expand. From cover bands to modern rock and blues to R&B and classical, if you cannot find a show that suits you, you are just too damn picky. Some highlights: • Blues legend B.B. King appears on Thursday, March 29, at the Tivoli. Richard Winham pens an awesome appreciation for the man in his column on Page 14. • McKay’s Road to Nightfall continues this week at Rhythm & Brews as the bands are whittled down. A local Nightfall headliner will be chose at the finals on Thursday, March 29. • Fresh from their shows at Austin’s South by Southwest, Moonlight Bride (pictured at right) returns to town to release their new album, “Twin Lakes,” at JJ’s Bohemia on Saturday, March 24. • For sheer entertainment value, it might be hard to beat Who’s Bad, a cover band billed as the ultimate Michael Jackson tribute. We’ve seen some video of this troupe and we’re impressed. Beat it to Rhythm & Brews on Saturday, March 24, to move your feet.

• Each wine lovingly handcrafted by Jed Steele. 6 p.m. • Back Inn Café 412 East 2nd St. • (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com

FRI03.23 MUSIC Slim Pickins with Train Hits Wagon • Heavy fiddle. 8 p.m. • The Camp House • 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 • thecamphouse.com

EVENT Gems of the Oasis Dance Showcase • A fusion of bellydance and burlesque. 7:30 p.m. • Barking Legs Theatre 1307 Dodds Ave. • (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

SAT03.24 MUSIC «Moonlight Bride CD Release • Much-anticipated album, “Twin Lakes,” with Cusses and Young Orchids. 9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia 231 East Ml King Blvd. • (423) 266-1400

EVENT River Market Opening Day • The season for fresh, local fruits and veggies. 10 a.m. • Tennessee Aquarium Plaza chattanoogamarket.com

SUN03.25 MUSIC

Ride of the Bride Chattanooga’s Moonlight Bride returns from SXSW to release their new CD, “Twin Lakes,” at JJ’s Bohemia on March 24. • R&B artist Tyrese comes to Memorial Auditorum on Sunday, March 25, along with Grammy artist Chrisette Michele and Grammy-nominated saxophonist Aaron Bing.

• For an intimate classical music experience, the CSO’s woodwinds and strings and Kayoko Dan perform Dvorak Serenandes in the Silver Ballroom of the Read House

Tyrese Photo • Lesha Patterson

on Sunday, March 25. • Jazz? Got that, too. Guitarist Stephane Wrembel performs on Thursday, March 22, at Barking Legs. Want more? See Page 14.

• R&B artist, writer, Hollywood actor performs. 8 p.m. • Memorial Auditorium • 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156 • chattanooga.gov

EVENT Dvorak Serenades • Woodwinds and strings in the Silver Ballroom. 3 p.m. • The Sheraton Read House Hotel 827 Broad St. • (423) 266-4121 chattanoogasymphony.org

chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 13

Music

richard winham

If I Stop, I Don’t Get Paid when b.b. king was a boy growing up in itta bene, miss., his first role model was the Rev. Archie Fair, a guitar-playing preacher at the local church. King sang in the gospel choir, and watching his charismatic preacher engaging the congregation each Sunday inspired him to step out on his own. On Saturdays, after a week spent picking cotton on the plantation, the 16-year-old King shouldered his guitar and walked into town. He had a favorite spot on a corner where he could catch the attention of both blacks and whites. It was there on the street that King discovered two distinct audiences for his music. “When I finished playing it, if it was a gospel song they would pat me on the head and the shoulders and they would applaud … but they didn’t put nothing in the hat,” he told a reporter the U.K. newspaper The Telegraph in 2009. “But the people who would ask me to play a blues would always put something in the hat. Now you know why I’m a blues singer.” B.B. King will play his first concert in five years at the Tivoli Theatre in Chattanooga on Thursday, March 29. He’s 87 years old this year, and yet his motivation remains the same. When asked if he plans to retire, he likes to say, “If I stop, I don’t get paid.” His concerts these days aren’t exactly like the one he played at The Regal Theatre in Chicago in 1966. Listening to the recording of that famous show is akin to eavesdropping on a church service. King may have chosen to sing the blues, but then as now, his voice is steeped in gospel tradition. That show was among the last he played, starting in the late 1940s, on the so-called “chitlin circuit,” the small black theatres and clubs on the edges of cities and towns all over the South. By the mid-1960s musical tastes in the black community were changing. Young blacks were turning their backs on the blues, music they associated with suffering and servitude. But while many of King’s contemporaries from the Mississippi Delta had begun playing for young white audiences who were attracted to the Rousseau-like simplicity of the country blues played by Muddy Waters, Howlin’ Wolf

14 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

and Big Bill Broonzy, King “fell between the cracks,” as he put it. His music was too urbane for that crowd. Around the same time that King played the celebrated show at The Regal, one of his acolytes, Michael Bloomfield, was making a big splash with The Paul Butterfield Band in Chicago. King’s spare, stinging, single-note playing had been Bloomfield’s inspiration, and his embrace of the style finally brought King to the attention of the burgeoning rock audience of the late ’60s. Within a year of the show at The Regal he was playing at

the Fillmore Auditorium in San Francisco. It was hardly the first time he’d played that venerable venue. Before Bill Graham took it over and began booking concerts for the largely white hippie community, the Fillmore had been a dance hall. But for King it was a jarring shift. He felt, he said in the same 2009 interview in The Telegraph, “like a cat surrounded by seven dogs.” “I’d played the Fillmore when it was a black theatre,” he explained, “but this time when we pulled up I saw all these long-haired kids outside. I thought, ‘My agent’s made a mistake.’ See, once in a while I’d meet a white person who might say, ‘Boy, you sure is good,’ but I wasn’t aware that a lot of these kids had been listening to me.” Within a year of that first show at the Fillmore, King had a huge Top-40 hit with “The Thrill Is Gone,” as well as a new manager who was book-

ing him into not only the new rock halls, but also into the upscale venues on the supperclub circuit. Almost overnight he’d moved from the fringe to the mainstream. In 1969 he appeared on “The Tonight Show,” and soon after he was the first blues musician from the Mississippi Delta to play on “American Bandstand.” When he’s asked to cite the people whose playing has influenced him, King often talks about Blind Lemon Jefferson and Lonnie Johnson. But it may well have been the legendary Freddie Green, the guitarist in Count Basie’s big bands of the late ’30s and ’40s, who wielded the greatest influence. But in the end, it perhaps tells you all you need to know about King that despite having been billed as “The King of the Blues” for more than 50 years, he doesn’t think of himself as a blues singer. “I don’t try to be a blues singer—I try to be an entertainer,” he said in another recent interview. These days King entertains with stories as much as with songs, but the spirit of the Rev. Fair still remains alive and well in every night’s performance. B.B. King with special guest Beverly McClellan 8 p.m Thursday, March 29 Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 chattanoogaonstage.com Richard Winham is the host and producer of WUTC-FM’s afternoon music program and has observed the Chattanooga music scene for more than 25 years.

Music

CHATTANOOGA LIVE

Wednesday • March 21

Continental (featuring members of Dropkick Murphys) • Stoneline

Thursday • March 22

Opportunities • 420 Click • Strata-G

Friday • March 23

Woodford Sessions Smooth Dialects • Magic Math

Saturday • March 24

Moonlight Bride CD Release Show Cusses • Young Orchids

Tuesday • March 27

Big Kitty • Hurray for the Riff Raff Cameron Snyder

Wednesday • March 28 Casper & The Cookies Mythical Motors Courter, Clouse & King

Thursday • March 29

Baby Baby • Guilty Pleasures Dance

Thur 03.22 Road to Nightfall 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com Gypsy Jazz with Stephane Wrembel 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Paving Funk, Copper Possom 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Opportunities, 420 Click, Strata-G 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400

Fri 03.23 Monomath, The Stacker 3, Fort Bliss 9 p.m. Sluggo’s, 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224 Slim Pickins, Train

Who’s Bad: The Ultimate Michael Jackson Tribute SAT 03.24 • This talented troupe brings the King of Pop back to life. Rhythm & Brews • 221 Market St. • (423) 267-4644 • rhythm-brews.com

Hits Wagon 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Dave Pope Quartet 9 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3775 Woodford Sessions, Smooth Dialects, Magic Math 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Bud Lightning 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Mark Holder 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Long Gone Darlings 9:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260

marketstreettavern.com Queen Bee Band 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com Planet, Deep Sleeze, Ledfoot Messiah 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com

Sat 03.24 Jack Wright and Friends 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Matt Chancey 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Michael Prysock 8 p.m. Charles &

Myrtles Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Road christunity.org Dave Pope Quartet 9 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3775 Moonlight Bride, Cusses, Young Orchids 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Maddie Grace 9 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com The Snake Doctors 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Robby Hopkins Band 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Jake Owen

9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co Husky Burnette 9 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 tboneschattanooga.com Queen Bee Band 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com Who’s Bad: The Ultimate Tribute to Michael Jackson 10:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com

Sun 03.25 The Memphis Dawls 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com

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LIVE MUSIC CHATTANOOGA MARCH

ROAD TO NIGHTFALL THU. 8p 22 FRI. DEEP SLEEZE PLANET WITH AND LEDFOOT MESSIAH 10p 23 SAT. WHO’S 10:30p24

BAD

THE ULTIMATE

MICHAEL

JACKSON TRIBUTE

ROAD TO NIGHTFALL 29 YACHT ROCK SCHOONER FRI. 10p 30 FINALS! WINNER RECEIVES HEADLINGING SLOT AT NIGHTFALL

THU. 8p

SMOOTH ‘70S SOUNDS

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 15

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

Thursday, March 22: 9pm Open Mic with Mark Holder

Friday, March 23: 9pm

Mark “Porkchop” Holder

Saturday, March 24: 9pm The Snake Doctors

Tuesday, March 27: 7pm Server Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Music

CHATTANOOGA LIVE

Tue 03.27 Big Kitty, Hurray for the Riff Raff, Cameron Snyder 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400

Wed 03.28 Road to Nightfall 7 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com Roger Alan Wade 7:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Casper & the Cookies, Mythical Motors, Courter, Clouse & King

8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Prime Cut Trio 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com The Weeks, AJ Cheeck and Wavorly 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

BABY BABY THU 03.29 • Raucous party tunes emit from this wacky band from Carrollton, Ga. JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E. MLK Blvd. • (423) 266-1400

Facebook.com/theofficechatt

Nightly Specials Mon: 50¢ Wings • $3 Yazoo Tues: $1 Tacos • 1/2 Price Margaritas Wed: Wine Night + Live Jazz! Thur: Burger & Beer Night Sat: $2 Domestics 4pm to Midnight

Music Wednesdays Live Jazz with

The Ben Friberg Trio Thursday • March 22 Songwriters Showcase

Jordan Hallquist and Special Guests

Friday March 23• 9:30pm

Long Gone Darlings From Nashville • $3 Cover 850 Market Street• 423.634.0260 Facebook.com/marketstreettavern

Memphis Dawls SUN 03.25 • All-female chamber folk trio blends Holly Cole’s viola-like vocals with gothic-tinged country ballads. The Honest Pine • 35 Patten Pkwy. • (423) 468-4192 • thehonestpint.com

16 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

The Pulse

Spring 2012

inside

‘May I See The Wine List, Please?’ • Choices abound in Chattanooga where there once were none

Pop Your Cork! • Champagne turns an otherwise nice time into a special memory. So why not drink it as often as possible?

BY PAUL HATCHER

couple of years ago my New Year’s resolution was to “drink more Champagne.” I had just poured a second glass and thought, “Why on earth don’t we do this more often?” With New Year’s behind us and wedding season comfortably ahead of us, we can simply focus on our resolution without pesky distractions. Unlike other resolutions I am proud to say that I have kept this one. That particular New Year’s Eve I had picked up a bottle of Veuve Clicquot at the recommendation of a friend at the wine store. It was marked down for the New Year’s rush and I decided to

Amnicola Wine & Spirits

splurge. My wife and I stayed home that night and watched “Casablanca” (for the umpteenth time). While we sipped our wine, Claude Raines’ character, Renault, »P3

is now open for business for

the first time in 40 years, across from the Boat House on Amnicola Highway. We will maintain highly competitive prices and a friendly knowledgeable staff at our convenient location. email us your order and time of pick-up and we’ll have it ready!

Amnicola Wine & Spirits 1516 Riverside Drive • 423.800.0222 • amcowinespirits@gmail.com

Serving Chattanooga for 36 Years

If You’re Not Shopping at Riley’s, You’re Paying Too Much ... See Us and Compare! Simply Naked (unoaked wines)

California

Cabernet, Chardonnay, Pinot Grigio & Moscato

Blackstone “New” Red Blend California

A blend of premium grapes from California. A blend of Merlot, Syrah and Petite Syrah

Santa Rita’s 120 Chile

Always a favorite at Riley’s! All flavors

750ML

Allure

Rodney Strong Wines

Clos du Bois

6.98

Pink & White Sparkling Moscato. A great patio wine!

750ML

8.97

Gnarly Head California

Choose the one you like!

750ML

8.23

Beringer Founders Estate California Cabernet, Merlot & Chardonnay

1.5L

15.88

7.96

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Pinot Noir Cabernet $17.80 Sonoma Chardonnay $13.68 Sauvignon Blanc $12.68

Columbia Crest Two Vines

Washington State A great wine for entertaining! Cabernet, Chardonnay, Merlot, Merlot-Cab Blend

1.5L

12.31

4818 Hixson Pike 870-2156

2 Blocks South of Hwy. 153 & Hixson Pike Interchange

Mon.-Thurs. 8:30am-10pm Fri. & Sat. 8:30am-11pm

6.17

Chardonnay Full Bodied ... Aromas of Red & Green Apples, Pear, Vanilla Bean Blossoms & Lemon Meringue

1.5L

19.35

Lindeman’s Bin Wines Australia

Choose your favorite flavor!

1.5L

8.97

Francis Ford Coppola Diamond Series Wines

Great patio wine! 750ML Claret $15.97 Pinot Noir $14.97 Cabernet, Malbec Syrah & Merlot $13.95 Chardonnay $9.34 Sauvignon Blanc & Pinot Grigio $6.99 Petite Syrah $14.97 Zinfandel $12.86

Guess Who’s On Facebook ... Like Us! 2 • The Pulse • SPRING WINE SECTION • MARCH 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Signal View Liquors Fine Wine & Spirits 252 Signal Mountain Road 423.756.1175

“

Like most people, I had until that time reserved Champagne and other sparkling wines for New Year’s, weddings and other special occasions. I appreciated it but didn’t indulge very often. That has changed. engaged in a battle of wits with Major Strasser of the Third Reich. Champagne is requested, and Renault calls out, “May I suggest Veuve Clicquot 1926, a fine French wine” (emphasis on French). My wife and I looked at each other and then at the label on the bottle and she said, “Did he just say what I think he said?” I wasn’t sure either. The next day I pulled the “Casablanca” script from the Internet and confirmed that this was exactly what he had said. What are the odds of that? Pretty spooky. I have since learned that Veuve Clicquot, Perrier-Jouet and Moet et Chandon, all of which in their non-vintage variety sell for about $40 to $50 per bottle, are vigorously marketed and fairly lead the pack in the Champagne market.

Champagne • Champagne/Sparkling Wine: These wines are made effervescent in the wine-making process. Champagnes and sparkling wines range in style from very dry (natural), dry (brut) and slightly sweet (extra dry) to sweet (sec and demi-sec). Many sparkling wines are also identified as Blanc de Blancs (wines made from white grapes) or Blanc de Noirs (wines produced from red grapes).

And well they should, especially when favorably compared side-by-side with their vintage or prestige labels, Moet’s Dom Perignon and Veuve’s La Grande Dame, for example, which sell for much more. Like most people, I had until that time reserved Champagne and other sparkling wines for New Year’s, weddings and other special occasions. I appreciated it but didn’t indulge very often. That has changed. Champagne turns an otherwise nice time into a special memory, so why not do it as often as possible? There is of course a risk that when you add Champagne to the evening you

How many bubbles are in a bottle of Champagne? Actually, this is a trick question. Because the carbon dioxide is diffused and dissolved in the wine, there are no bubbles in an unopened bottle of Champagne. However, once the bottle is opened and the wine makes contact with the air, the bubbles come out of solution, all 56 million of them—in each bottle, give or take a million or two.

and your spouse may not finish every movie you start (especially if you like each other), but is that so bad? Legally, the term “Champagne” may now only be applied to sparkling wine made in the French region of Champagne. Other sparkling wines using the Champagne method include Cava from Spain, Spumante from Italy, Cremant from other areas of France, Sekt from Germany, and Champagne-style sparkling wines from California, Australia, South Africa and other various and sundry places in the

• Champagne, one of the world’s greatest sparkling wines, is popularly but erroneously thought to have been invented by the Benedictine monk Dom Pierre Perignon (1638-1715). Although he did not invent or discover champagne, he founded many principles and processes in its production that are still in use today. And he purportedly declared upon drinking the bubbly beverage, “I am drinking stars.” He was also blind. • The European Union declared that sparkling wine produced outside the French region of Champagne can no longer be labeled ”champagne.” The word “champagne” is named after a province in France, meaning “open country.” Due to the Protected Designation of Origin law in Europe, sparkling wine made outside the Champagne region of France can no longer be called “champagne.”

»P4

Porter’s Steakhouse

The Read House

Our extensive wine list offers more than 150 selections porterssteakhouse.com

At the corner of MLK & Broad Street Downtown

423 266 4121 starwoodhotels.com

chattanoogapulse.com • MARCH 2012 • SPRING WINE SECTION • The Pulse • 3

Red Bank Wine & Spirits Top 10 Wine Steals for Spring!

750ml bottles

Apothic Red $9.99 Cupcake Pinot Grigio $9.99 Leese Fitch Cabernet Sauvignon $11.99 Lonely Cow Sauvignon Blanc $10.99 Gouguenheim Malbec $11.99 Primal Roots Red Blend $9.99 Jean Bousquet Chardonnay $12.99 Tiziano Pinot Grigio $9.15 La Marca Prosecco $14.99 3-Litre Wines

Bota Box $17.99

3849 Dayton Blvd. • Ste. 113 423.877.1787 At the corner of Morrison Springs Road and Dayton Boulevard in the Bi-Lo Shopping Center

world. Often those bottles will be marked “Methode Champenoise,” “Traditional Method,” or “Fermented in This Bottle” to indicate that they are made using the same production methods as true Champagne. The traditional method is labor-intensive. The winemaker begins with a still wine and then adds a small dose of sugar and yeast to each individual bottle. The resulting carbon dioxide is captured in the bottle and the yeast is removed by a process called “riddling”: Each bottle is pointed in a downward angle and rotated periodically so that gradually the yeast deposit forms a plug at the bottleneck. The neck of the bottle is then placed in icy water to freeze the plug. When the bottle is opened the internal pressure from the CO2 shoots the frozen plug out of the bottle which is then re-corked. Before the riddling process was invented in the early 19th century (by Veuve Clicquot, by the way), Champagne was cloudy and had a yeasty taste that was masked with plenty of sugar. Along with the riddling process came dryer Champagnes, and nowadays extra-dry and brut Champagnes constitute the lion’s share of Champagne production. There are cheaper methods of making sparkling wine, the cheapest being carbonation by the injection of CO2 directly into the wine in the same way as a Coca-Cola, with similar results. Unlike sparkling wines made using the Champagnemethod, in which the CO2 is in solution with the wine, the bubbles of carbonated wines are short-lived, the same as a soft drink. The bubbles in a bottle of Champagne can last for several days after a bottle is opened, rather than a half-hour with a carbonated drink. In a similar way that still wine drinkers look at a wine’s legs to measure body and alcohol level, Champagne experts observe the size of the bubbles as one sign of the wine’s quality. The smaller the bubbles, the better. Age, cool cellaring and purity (less particulate) all contribute to smaller bubbles. Although the shallow bowl

How do I open a bottle of Champagne? When it is time to open your bottle, here is how to do it: First, remove the foil which covers the cork. Then hold the bottle in one hand while you point the bottle away from your face and your loved ones. Un-twist the wire cage which secures the cork and remove it. Lift and loosen the cork by pushing and slightly twisting it gently and moving it from side to side to finesse it out of the bottle while containing its potential flight with your hand. Forget all of the movies where a third of the bottle sprays across the room. That’s bad. The loud pop anticipating that loss is also bad. As the Frenchmen say, the removal of the cork should make a sound no greater that that of a contented woman’s sigh.

Champagne glasses are fun and pretty, to get the full effect of the bubbles use a flute. The tiny bubbles will dance vertically throughout the glass for a seemingly endless period of time. And regarding Champagne glasses, it is a proven fact that a Champagne glass in your hand makes you look twice as sophisticated as you are. (I cannot quote a study to back this up but I know it to be true.) That is why you should have a glass in your hand often and a photographer in tow at all such times. Here are some sparklingwine recommendations if you are a novice and want to know what the fuss is about or if you

4 • The Pulse • SPRING WINE SECTION • MARCH 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

are an old pro and want to compare notes. These labels are all currently available in the Chattanooga area: I recommend the Freixenet Cordon Negro, which is a Spanish Cava made in the traditional method. This wine sells at a remarkable $10 per bottle and is a great one to have on hand. It is available either brut or extra-dry. Remember that brut is bone-dry and dryer than extradry. Although most Spanish Cava is made from indigenous Spanish grape varieties, Freixenet also uses a large proportion of traditional Champagne grapes, chardonnay and pinot noir, in its production. It is medium-bodied and its flavor profile is apples-and-citrus. The small print on the back label reads, “Freixenet is crisp, dry, captivatingly smooth and hard to pronounce.” If you have $45 burning a hole in your pocket, Claude Raines and I recommend Veuve Clicquot. “Veuve Clicquot Ponsardin” is the non-vintage variety. (The 1926 vintage is no longer widely available.) It is medium-to-full bodied Champagne made from 55 percent pinot noir, 30 percent chardonnay and 15 percent pinot meunier. It manages to be both creamy and zesty, showing perfect balance. I asked my friend Lisa Andrews at Jax Liquors downtown to suggest a favorite inexpensive sparkling wine. She named Louis Perdrier brut, which is a sparkling Burgundy (Cremant de Bourgogne) made in the Cote d’Or. It is dry and light-bodied, and she said it raised her eyebrows when she first tasted it. It also sells for about $10 per bottle. If you have $45 to throw around, she recommends the Nicolas Feuillatte Brut Champagne. It is rich and creamy, with hints of honey and lemon. Of course, these recommendations only scratch the surface and there are many other choices available out there. Ask a wine merchant that you trust to suggest a sparkling wine for you: Tell them that you want it produced using the Champagne method and that you want extra dry or brut. Indicate

how much you care to spend. What food should you serve to accompany your dry sparkling wine, if at all? Cheese, caviar and plain-style crackers. French bread slices and butter. Grapes, melon and sliced fruit. If you are having a Champagne brunch, go with Eggs Benedict or similar fare. Some people pair Champagne with seafood, but I suggest that seafood is better paired with still white wines, for example muscadet with oysters and white Bordeaux with grilled flounder. The wine should compliment the meal but not upstage it. Anything you serve with Champagne will play second fiddle, which is why in my opinion a platter of cheese and caviar hors d’oeuvres is a better match than anything else. Because we have now unanimously declared every month to be Champagne month, it is incumbent upon each of you to find some flutes, a decent bottle of sparkling wine, one or more friends, ideally one with whom you have a romantic interest, and then proceed to improve your life by declaring yourself entitled to a special moment. Now, back to the movies. In “Casablanca,” as the Germans enter Paris, Rick pops a cork and refills Sam and Ilsa’s glasses. They have three more bottles to go and they declare that they are not going to let the Germans have them. Sam raises his glass and says, “This should take the sting out of being occupied!” So you see, even occupation by the Nazis can be a special occasion if you are in good company and are popping the cork on a bottle of Champagne. Paul Hatcher traces his wine obsession to the great 1982 Bordeaux vintage. Since 1986, he has made dry table wine from local blackberries, strawberries, peaches, plums and cherries. In 2009, he received the Certified Specialist of Wine industry designation from the Society of Wine Educators in New York. By day, Hatcher is a partner in the Chattanooga law firm of Duncan, Hatcher, Hixson and Fleenor. This is his first article for The Pulse.

‘May I See The Wine List, Please?’ • Chattanooga was once a wine wasteland. Today, an ever-growing number of restaurants are offering quality wines. Our expert visits two.

BY PAUL HATCHER

orty years ago, dining in Chattanooga was limited to Fehn’s, the Town & Country Restaurant, the Green Room (although we never went there), and later the Black Angus. Pizza became the rage when Shakey’s came to town in the late 1960s, followed by Pizza Hut. Until the late ‘70s, the only Asian restaurant I recall was the South Pacific on Brainerd Road. The first Japanese hibachi steak house arrived in the early 1980s and Mexican restaurants began to open in the mid-1980s. Thai and Indian food? Forget that. You were already buying your third cell phone when they arrived.

Wine, meanwhile, was the red-headed-step-child of restaurants and liquor stores. In some restaurants, you could order a glass of “Chablis” or “Burgundy,” which were neither. The wine sections of most liquor stores consisted of cheap, fortified wino stuff such as Mogen David 20-20, Thunderbird and Boone’s Farm, as well as modestly priced jug wines from New York and California. There were also sweet German wines like Blue Nun and Black Castle liebfraumilch. The Bordeaux rack, if it existed, consisted of Barton & Gustier merchant wines labeled “Medoc,” “St. Emilion,” or “Graves.” The B&G wines were (and are) of good quality, but there was little selection. Today you can choose from a wide range of wines from anywhere in the world and try

obscure grape varietals never before available. And the selection gets better and better. Do you want to try a viognier from the Rhone or a teraldego from Italy? You can buy them here. Even a Greek xenomavro or Bull’s Blood from Hungary. There was also a time when the most inexpensive wine on the wine menu should have been labeled, “It Serves You Right.” Although you can still

get burned, Chattanooga has an ever-growing number of fine restaurants which offer high-quality, well-thoughtout selections across the board with an absence of plonk on the low end and an absence of gouge on the high end. Nowhere in town is this more evident than at Tony’s Pasta Shop & Trattoria in the Bluff View Art District. Before we tackle Tony’s list and later Rain Thai Bistro’s, it should be noted that the 212 Market Restaurant and St. John’s Restaurant in Chattanooga, as well as the Bald Headed Bistro in Cleveland, have all received the Award of Excellence from Wine Spectator magazine for their wine lists which, in addition to certain quality criteria, “offer at least 100 selections.” »P6

an eclectic selection of natural wine, spirits and high-gravity beer THE VINE AT 2 NorTh Shore

3 01 M a n u f a c t u r e r s r o a d • 4 2 3 . 6 4 3 . 2 2 5 0 chattanoogapulse.com • MARCH 2012 • SPRING WINE SECTION • The Pulse • 5

Tony’s Pasta Shop & Trattoria 212 High St. Bluff View Art District

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While many award-winning wine lists comprise multi-page books offering wines from around the world, Tony’s list contains nothing but Italian wines (with one understandable exception) to compliment its Italian menu. Tony’s 12 white wines and 15 red wines are hand-picked by wine director Michael Vasta for the sole purpose of providing a perfect wine match to Tony’s menu. In short, everything works. As proof, Michael points out that Tony’s sells more Italian wine than any other establishment in the Chattanooga area, including the liquor stores. The least expensive bottle of Italian wine on Tony’s list is $25 and the most expensive is $50. All of these are available by the glass. I talked with Vasta and restaurant manager Michael Gilliland for a few minutes on a recent Friday afternoon and a couple of hours later my wife and I snuck back in for dinner (angel hair/alfredo/grilled chicken for me and lobster ravioli/crème sauce for Bambi—plus bread and Caesar salad). We tasted four red wines and one white. Sorry, we couldn’t try all 27 wines and then remember enough to write about them unless buckets had been provided, and I suspect that would have horrified the other diners. When choosing the wines, we skipped the familiar super-Tuscans and the pinot noirs from the north of Italy, as well as the Barbera and the Valpolicella, and went for the labels we didn’t recognize: The star of the show was called “Gode II” and is a blend of sangiovese and the unfamiliar and unpronounceable canaiolo. This wine offers clean, intense currant fruit with the surprising addition of a long chocolate-and-mint finish reminiscent of a right-bank Bordeaux. We fought over it. The most interesting wine of the evening was a cannonau from Sardinia called “Sella & Mosca.” This impressive wine from a largely unimpressive region struck me with its dark fruit, and it had a rustic-and-green finish that bit a little. I loved it. The Montepulciano d’Abruzzo offered the same basic profile as every one I have ever had: Much like Chianti but not as intense and very quaffable. It is a simple and straightforward grape variety and cleanly made. Before ordering the Dolcetto d’Alba, and remembering that “dolce” means “sweet,” I asked the server to confirm, please, that this was a dry red wine. It is. Dolcetto is the grape variety, not a warning. We were told that this wine, made by “Paolo Scavino” (Piedmont) would remind us of blueberries, which I didn’t detect until after taking my first bite of food. Suddenly the wine opened up like a blueberry cobbler. My wife suggested a white wine with her lobster ravioli and once again we by-passed

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the pinot grigio and chardonnay offerings and went for the unfamiliar “Villa Sparina” made from the cortese grape. It was delicious, clean and clear, with a flowery aroma, peachy and appley tasting and a long finish much like an un-oaked chardonnay. The only non-Italian wine on the Tony’s menu is a California white zinfandel (Beringer). Vasta says it is offered because, “We have to.” To Michael’s credit, Beringer is a very good vintner whose Rhine-House Cabernet is one of the best red wines I have ever had. I wonder if a Moscato would appeal equally as well to the same demographic of younger drinkers? It is dolce et frizzante, increasingly well known to young wine drinkers, and Italian.

Rain Thai Bistro 6933 Lee Highway

When choosing a second wine list to review, we decided to go Asian just because of the challenge: Unlike Italian food-and-wine, which interact like twins conceived and raised in tandem over millennia, Asian food-and-wine pairing is a cross-cultural arrangement and there is nothing more difficult than pairing Asian food with wine. At Tony’s you can’t make a bad choice. At Rain Thai Bistro, the wine list is very smart and the six wines we tasted were all solid and worth the money. Still, there is no hiding the fact that wine with Asian food is like tits on a fish: Separately they’re very nice, but when joined together something’s just not right. My wife and I went to Rain for dinner and made total spectacles of ourselves: We ordered the tom kha gai soup, spring rolls, the spicy basil noodles chicken and the panang curry chicken as well as the crab roll from the sushi menu. We tasted four whites and two reds— the Voga Pinot Grigio, the

SPRING WINE

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We surveyed our advertisers to get their suggestions for wine and food pairings. Here are some reponses: • “If you are looking to fire up the grill this summer, the Don Manuel Villafane, Reserva Malbec, Mendoza is a perfect choice. It has amazing flavor and is well balanced to drink while you are cooking or strait into your meal.” Bald Headed Bistro • “Salmon with capers and Jermann Pinot Grigio or a peppercorn steak with Conn Creek Herrick Red.” Jax Liquors • “Sautéed sea scallops with grapefruit, braised radishes, vanilla bean and butter paired with Nobilo Icon Sauvignon Blanc. The racey acidity highlights the grapefruit in the dish and cuts the butter and seafood so that the wine and food really sing together.” St. John’s Restaurant • “Napoleon: Pair with French onion beef stew or any red meat dishes. Tara Bella: A perfect companion for chicken or turkey entrees. Blackberry: delicious dessert treat on top vanilla bean ice cream.” Georgia Winery

Capasaldo Pinot Grigio, the Benziger Sauvignon Blanc, the Mirassou Chardonnay, the MacMurray Sonoma Pinot Noir, and the 14 Hands Merlot. This was loaded up on the table and people were staring. Having not eaten all day, I was going at it doubletime and I am sure that attracted some looks as well. The house chardonnay was good with the sushi, but the star of the show, across the board, was the Benziger Sauvignon Blanc, which held its own against all of the spices, ginger and herbs, as well as the soy. The citrus profile of the wine cut through and complimented everything. I was humbled and I take back what I said about tits on a fish, at least as to this wine. The two pinot grigios were light, low-acid and had a little residual sweetness that did not compliment the food well. The merlot (although nice by itself) was like pouring mud on the food, but we expected that. The pinot noir was better, being less tannic and lighter, but I would order it only if you absolutely must have red wine at all occasions (and I

know such people). How would a Loire Valley red have worked, or a pinot noir from Washington State? They both tend to be under-ripe and their crispness, high acidity and low tannin may be just the oriental food match for red wine drinkers. The wines at Rain are priced at about twice what you would pay in a wine store, which is respectable, and none of the wines we tasted were cheap-tasting offerings. They were all good, drinkable wines, even the lower-priced ones. Not a single “It-Serves -You-Right” wine. Wine tannins and grapeessence are in conflict with soy sauce. There, I said it. There are several reasons for the oriental food-wine conundrum, such as coconut, ginger and curry, not to mention the fish sauce, but the big white elephant in the room is soy sauce. The wine writer Hugh Johnson was once asked to pick the best wine with Asian food, and he answered “lager.” I would add, “And sake.” Rain offers six domestic and 11 imported beers—and sake.

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Thank You for Supporting Your Locally Owned Wine & Spirit Stores

Q a

33 other states allow wine to be sold in grocery stores. Why shouldn’t Tennessee? Supporters say every state is doing it, but in fact no state has put wine in groceries in 26 years. Since then, Tennessee, Colorado, Minnesota and Massachusetts – arguably the most liberal states in the nation – have all voted it down out of concern for safety and small business. Because it has been nearly a quarter of a century since a state has passed such a law, we have no way of truly knowing the impact such a dramatic increase in the availability of highalcohol content products will have on public health. You indicate that allowing wine in grocery stores will drive retailers out of business. Isn’t that extreme? Retailers will still sell liquor and many wine brands that aren’t available in grocery stores, correct? Wine, particularly the big-named brands, accounts for a tremendous part of retailers’ business. If consumers pick up a cheap bottle of mass produced wine in the grocery store, they don’t have a need to come into locally-owned retail stores. Just look around at what corporate retailers have done to other small business retailers. Local retailers can’t compete with WalMart, Target, Lowes or Home Depot. So no, this isn’t extreme. You will see liquor stores – which are owned and operated by Tennesseans – go out of business. You will see people lose their jobs. Right now retail stores are only allowed to sell beverage alcohol products. Would allowing retailers to sell certain food and other grocery items be an acceptable compromise? Absolutely not. Retailers don’t want potato chips or cork screws on their shelves because they don’t want anyone coming into their stores for any reason other than to buy wine or liquor. The state set up this system for a reason. When it came to high-proof alcohol, like wine and liquor, they wanted to make sure each sale

Q a

was carefully watched and controlled. Alcohol retailers know people are in their stores for one reason only. Retailers are trained to recognize minors and people who have had too much to drink. We regularly exercise our right to refuse to sell our products to minors or people who have had too much to drink. If a grocery store lost its license to sell wine because of a violation, it still has hundreds, if not thousands, of items to sell in order to make money. Even if retailers were allowed to sell items other than wine and spirits, they would in no way make up for the loss in revenue that would occur if grocery and convenience were allowed to sell wine. Much of this issue has to do with Tennessee’s antiquated liquor laws. Don’t you agree that we should re-examine our beverage alcohol code? Stability in our system allows Tennessee’s wine and spirits industry to prosper. While some say Tennessee’s laws are antiquated, the truth is that they are effective. In fact, Tennessee has the third lowest number of binge drinkers and heavy drinkers, and the lowest rate of underage binge drinkers in the entire country. Public health experts say Tennessee is a leader in effective alcohol regulation, and that other states should follow Tennessee’s lead. Disturbing the balance between moderation and control of alcohol will have a damaging impact on both public safety and Tennessee’s economy. Supporters of wine in food stores say it will mean $16 million dollars to our state’s economy. Doesn’t our economy need all the help it can get? In truth, these numbers simply don’t add up. In order to generate $16 million dollars, grocery stores will need to sell 20 million more bottles of wine than what is sold on average every year. This means either wine drinkers will have to drink a lot more wine, or there needs to be thousands of new alcohol consumers in the state. Both of these propositions have public health costs attached to them that have not been

Q a

accounted for. The more likely scenario is that wine consumers will drink the same amount of wine. The difference is that locally-owned small businesses suffer at the expense of large, out-ofstate corporations. Hundreds of local businesses will close and thousands of jobs will be lost. Isn’t the liquor industry just protecting its businesses? Of course. There are business interests on both sides of this issue. The difference is doing what’s right for Tennessee businesses as opposed to protecting the interests of powerful out-of-state corporations like Wal-Mart and Kroger. These corporate giants are currently waging the same battle in Kentucky and New York, using identical tactics. By maintaining our strong laws, profits and jobs stay in Tennessee, rather than being shipped to Arkansas and Ohio. We live in a free market society. Why should businesses in the beverage alcohol industry be protected when others aren’t? Because its products are extremely unique and unlike those of other businesses. It is not selling apples or socks. It sells privileged goods that can be harmful if misused and not respected. In Tennessee, the beverage alcohol industry has a larger role to play than simply selling products. It is charged with helping control beverage alcohol so that it is bought and sold appropriately. Studies show that allowing wine in grocery stores won’t hurt liquor retailers, that it can even help them. So why are you so opposed to this possibility? The only study that draws this conclusion was conducted for the Food Marketing Institute in 2004. It’s no surprise to see such sensational data from a study commissioned by a special interest group. The fact that it was should bring its legitimacy into question. In fact, according to a new independent study from Cornell University, retailers would lose between 17 and 32 percent of wine sales if wine were allowed in grocery stores.

Q a

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Between the Sleeves

ERNIE PAIK

Sonic Tsunami the new album “pansophical cataract” from man forever, the project of kid Millions (a.k.a. John Colpitts), best known as the drummer/founder of the Brooklyn group Oneida, was actually inspired by witnessing a performance of Lou Reed’s infamous “Metal Machine Music”—originally a double-album of extreme guitar noise, often considered unlistenable for most of the human population—that was arranged for a classical string ensemble by Ulrich Krieger. Man Forever is not trying to reproduce that album, but it certainly is trying to capture the immersive, visceral and enveloping aspects of that album with a massive, abstract sonic tsunami. Primarily, “Pansophical Cataract” uses tuned drums that beat constantly with quick hits or tight rolls, building tension gradually with a relentless momentum, and these layers of drum waves are enhanced with electric instruments—reminiscent of no-wave tones or skronks. One point of comparison Man Forever would be minimalist composer Steve Reich’s “Drumming,” “Pansophical Cataract” which explores drum patterns that gradually go in and out (Thrill Jockey) of phase. However, the Man Forever approach is not about a metronomic performance with the precise poly-rhythmic subtleties of Reich’s piece, although phasing effects are heard within Man Forever’s thick sonic cloud. The album is comprised of two 18-minute tracks, and the first piece, “Surface Patterns,” takes its time to unfurl, adding low frequencies to the mix at three-minute intervals during its first half. The second piece, “Ur Eternity,” has a similarly propulsive, patiently building structure, with frantic rolls entering the picture after the 8-minute mark, leading to chaotic conclusions. The album should be heard at a loud volume, and actually, these pieces are probably best heard by a live ensemble for the full immersive surround-sound effect. Both tracks have satisfying payoffs, with glorious and complicated maelstroms of beats and menacing tones, although they perhaps take too much time to get to their endpoints. In this case, the destination is more interesting than the journey. The New Songs “A Nest at the Junction of Paths” (Umlaut)

the notion of a “song” means various things depending on whom you ask, and at a very basic level, it can be stripped down to simply lyrics, a top-line melody and chord changes—just the essentials, found in musicians’ “fake books” of standards. For the European quartet The New Songs, on its debut album “A Nest at the Junction of Paths,” the ensemble presents not only new compositions but also radical interpretations of the songs, as if they were evolving, organic beings rather than strictly defined, unchanging pieces. With mostly acoustic instruments, there’s a gentle, pastoral feeling to the album, although there’s an undercurrent of a fiercely experimental, unfettered spirit. The two songwriters of the group are Ethiopian-born singer Sofia Jernberg—currently a Scandinavian resident with backgrounds in jazz and modern classical—and French pianist Eve Risser, who teeter-totters between improvisation and composition with exploratory tendencies. Jernberg and Risser are joined by Swedish guitarist David Stackenäs and Norwegian guitarist/zitherist Kim Myhr, who are focused on improvisatory aspects and provide many of the most unexpected sounds on the album. With six songs that range from six to 10 minutes in length, there’s a relaxed attitude with plenty of space with seemingly measured responses between instrumental interactions, although at times there are moments of tight rhythmic synchronization between Jernberg’s clear, pretty voice and Risser’s effervescent piano runs. “Fil 1,” with a tender storm of odd strums, prepared piano notes and unusual vocalizations, was inspired by a Chriss Desroziers sculpture. “The Hill”—with e-bow tones and otherworldly squeakbuzz string intonations—features lyrics inspired by South African poet Mongane Wally Serote, and Jernberg stretches out each syllable so that the track has a calm, deliberate pace, singing words that seemingly allude to the struggle of the Black community and an end to a dusk. This debut album is a tranquil yet curious take on modern song forms, putting a charming face on a radical gray area between composition and improvisation.

Music

regular gigs

Party at the

Thursdays Open Mic: Mark Holder 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. • (423) 634-9191 Songwriters Showcase: Jordan Hallquist with Special Guests 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. • (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com Thursday Night Fever with DJ Barry 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 • sugarsribs.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road • (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com

Fridays Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 • choochoo.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road • (423) 499-5055 • thepalmsathamilton.com Bluegrass Night 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 • thecamphouse.com amilton.com

Saturdays

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 • choochoo.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road • (423) 499-5055 • thepalmsathamilton.com

Mondays Live Classical Music 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 • thecamphouse.com Big Band Night 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road • (423) 499-5055 • thepalmsathamilton.com

All Week Long!

Mon & tue LIVE DJ

Wii on the Big Screen wednesdays OPEN MIC

5-Week Guitar & Bass Contest CONTINUES!

thursdays LOCAL LEGENDS

HOUSE PARTY WITH 5 DJS

WEEKEND PARTY ZONE!

FRI $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH

Tuesdays Open Mic Night 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 • funnydinner.com

Wednesdays Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. • (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com Folk School of Chattanooga Old Time Jam 6:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 • thecamphouse.com Open Mic Night 7 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com

CRANE

sat $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH

CRANE

Party on Two Floors!

1st Floor: Live Music • 2nd Floor: Dancing

Raw Sushi Bar

Restaurant & Nightclub 409 Market Street •423.756.1919

chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 25

26 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Arts The Butler Didn’t Do It theatre

By Janis Hashe

one of the “must-do’s” for theatre folk visiting london is to attend a performance of Agatha Christie’s “The Mousetrap.” Is it for the sizzling acting or the astounding production values? No. It’s because “The Mousetrap,” which premiered in 1952, is still running and shows no signs of closing anytime soon. It’s celebrating 60 years onstage, a record no other show is ever likely to match. But if you aren’t going to the West End anytime soon, no worries. You can catch the classic murder mystery on the Main Stage at the Chattanooga Theatre Centre through April 1. Director George Quick has wisely opted to keep the play’s original 50’s setting, as this is not a play that would benefit from concept staging, as in, “Let’s set it in Palm Beach.” Its vocabulary, references and characters are solidly postWWII British, and if you don’t get remarks about ration books and service in the Indian Army, well, that’s the way the crumpet crumbles. If you do, get out your snood, be-

cause this is the show for you. Christie was inspired to write a short story, which then became a radio play, which then became “The Mousetrap,” by the real-life death of a boy who died while in the foster care of a Shropshire farmer and his wife in 1945. The setting is Monkswell Manor, about 30 miles from London, and the characters keep saying things that remind the audience forcibly of the game “Clue,” which is amusing. As a writer, Christie was not terribly interested in character development. Plot was her thing—but that doesn’t stop the actors in this production

from having a real lark playing their clueless characters. In all honesty, anyone familiar with Christie has figured the solution out less than half an hour in, so the performances are the reason to hang in there. Standouts include Lauren M. Johnson as Mollie Ralston, the lady of the manor-turnedguesthouse. Johnson projects a charm and warmth that turn the character from cardboard to flesh. Justin Bridges as the flaky architect Christopher Wren is a hoot, and has developed a whole flight of mannerisms that keep his portrayal lively. As Mrs. Boyle, Julie J. Van Valkenburg has a

great deal of fun spoofing the stuffy English matron who does nothing but complain (at one point, just a noise from her gets a laugh), and Greg Ramblin is very solid as Major Metcalf, with especial kudos for dialect work. But the whole cast is consistent, without a weak link. Other players include Tim Newland, Lizzie Chazen, Jerry M. Draper and Will Park. Another strength is the set by Quick and Scott Dunlap, inspired by the drawings of Edward Gorey. Take the time to really look at the set decoration, which has a number of visual jokes. Not much can be revealed about the plot, in particular, the ending, but “The Mousetrap” is a classic snowed-inwith-possible-murderer-inthe-country-manor mystery. Not quite as much drinking goes on as in the typical example of this genre, but otherwise, that’s the drill. Fans of cutting-edge theatre will have to wait for the upcoming production of “Mr. and Mrs. M” to get their edgy itch scratched, but in the meantime, a thundery night with “The Mousetrap” is a cozy spot of classic whodunit. (Interesting factoid: Under the contract terms of the play, no film adaptation can be produced until the West End production has been closed for at least six months. Film may no longer exist at that point.) The Mousetrap $18-$25 8 p.m. March 23, 24, 30, 31; 7 p.m. Mar. 22, 29, 2:30 p.m. Mar. 25, April 1 Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 27

Arts & Entertainment Thur 03.22 Grand Re-Opening Celebration 3:30 p.m. Reflections Gallery, 6922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072 reflectionsgallerytn.com Steele Wines Showcase 6 p.m. Back Inn Café, 412 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com Art+Issues 6 p.m. Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org “The Mousetrap” 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com “Radio Gals” 7 p.m. Harris Arts Center, 212 S. Wall St., Calhoun, Ga. (706) 629-2699 Oscar-Nominated Live Short Films 7 p.m. Majestic Theatre, 311 Broad St. artsedcouncil.org Paint the Vibrations 7:30 p.m. Blue Sun Studio, 199 River St. (423) 322-9615 the-blue-sun.com Biology Lecture Series 7:30 p.m. Southern Adventist University, Hulsey Wellness Center, 4881 Taylor Cr. (423) 236-2000 southern.edu Gypsy Jazz with Stephane Wrembel 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org The Midnight Swinger 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch,

28 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Wine Days at the Back Inn Café • Restaurant features Steele Case wines at 6 p.m. on Thursday and (half-price) Wine Wednesdays at 5 p.m. on March 21. Back Inn Café • 421 E. 2nd St. • (423) 265-5033 • bluffviewartdistrict.com

3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Royal Opera House: “Romeo & Juliet” Majestic Theatre, 311 Broad St. artsedcouncil.org

Fri 03.23 Jason DuRoy 7 p.m. Signal Mtn Presbyterian Church, 612 James Blvd. (423) 886-2190 The Midnight Swinger 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Gems of the Oasis 7th Annual Dance Showcase 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

“Aging Out” 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3207 chattanoogastate.edu “The Mousetrap” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com “Aida” 8 p.m. Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy, Lookout Mountain, Ga. (888) 451-2683 ballettennessee.org. Saleem 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

Sat 03.24 Get Your Rear In Gear 5K 9 a.m. Coolidge

Park, 150 River St. Chattanooga River Market Opening Day 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza Ready to Garden Workshop 10 a.m. Crabtree Farms, 1000 E. 30th St. (423) 493-9155 crabtreefarms.org A Day at Pickett’s Trout Ranch 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496 tnaqua.org Michael P. White 11 a.m. The Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 lib.chattanooga.gov Bob’s Musical Bootcamp 11 a.m. The Walden Club, 633 Chestnut St. (423) 756-6686 waldenclub.org eReader Workshop

11 a.m. The Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 lib.chattanooga.gov Heart of Dixie Regional Singing Competition 3 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Gourmet Guys Food Tasting Gala 4 p.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1825 Reggie White Blvd. hamiltonplacerotary.org The Midnight Swinger 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Aging Out” 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola

Gypsy Jazz with Stephane Wrembel»

YOU WANT CURB APPEAL. NOT CURB OVERGROWTH.

THU 03.22 • Barking Legs 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 • barkinglegs.org

Hwy. (423) 697-3207 chattanoogastate.edu “The Mousetrap” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Jack Wright and Friends 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org “Aida” 8 p.m. Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy, Lookout Mountain, Ga. (888) 451-2683 ballettennessee.org. Jake Owen 9 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. 1-800-872-2529 choochoo.com Saleem 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www. funnydinner.com

Sun 03.25 Strides of March Walk/Run Noon Renaissance Park, River St. (423) 648-9912 “Aging Out” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3207 chattanoogastate.edu Chattanooga Clarinet Choir Concert 2:30 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com “The Mousetrap” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 .theatrecentre.com “Radio Gals” 3 p.m. Harris Arts Center, 212 S. Wall St., Calhoun, GA. (706) 629-2699 Dvorak Serenades 3 p.m. The Read House Hotel, 827 Broad St.

CALL US TODAY OR VISIT OUR WEBSITE TO START IMPROVING YOUR HOME’S CURB APPEAL.

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(423) 266-4121 The Midnight Swinger 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Tyrese 8 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156 chattanooga.gov

Mon 03.26 “Joseph & The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” 8 p.m. Regal Hamilton Place, 2000 Hamilton Place Blvd. (423) 855-0064

Tue 03.27 Open-Mic Stand Up 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com Kayak Introduction Class 7:30 p.m. UTC McClellan Gym Indoor Pool, 600 Vine St. (423) 643-5716 Live Team Trivia 7:30 p.m. BrewHaus, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 531-8490 chattanoogatrivia.com

Wed 03.28 UnBought & UnBossed Awards 7:30 a.m. Chattanooga Hotel, 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 Wine Wednesdays 5 p.m. Back Inn Café, 412 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com

ONGOING “Re: Structure” (thru April 13) 11 a.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-1282 avarts.org “No Crystal Stair” (thru May 26) 10 a.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org “Color” (thru March 31) 10 a.m. Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453 shuptrinefineartgroup.com “Brushstrokes and Bracelets” (thru March 31) 11 a.m. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com “Environments” (thru March 31) 10 a.m. River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Spring Photography Exhibition (thru June 28) 8:30 a.m. Photographic Society of Chattanooga, 71 Eastgate Loop (423) 344-5643 chattanoogaphoto.org

423.667.7091 REDEFININGLANDSCAPES.COM

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com. chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 29

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30 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

1300 Broad Street Monday - Friday 11 a.m. - 9 p.m.

Brewer Media Blue Cross Blue Shield of Tennessee Tennessee American Water Grant Konvalinka & Harrison, P.C. Chattanooga Business Machines Modern Woodmen Fraternal Financial EPB Fiber Optics Baker Donelson Bearman Caldwell & Berkowitz, P.C.

Food&Drink

DINING OUT CHATTANOOGA

ChatÓ Brasserie A Wine Lover’s Dream “

By D.E. Langley

Of particular interest is the Chef’s Table, which features personalized tasting menus and wine pairings in four, five, or six courses—you can give yourself over to the chef’s whims, or specify the items you wish to receive.

open for 10 months now on the North Shore, ChatÓ Brasserie serves New American cuisine in an upscale casual environment. Owners Alex Canale and Chris Casteel, while both Southerners, have lived all over, bringing all sorts of influences to their menu and cuisine. Their melting pot approach blends classic French techniques with fresh products and modern sensibilities. That approach to food usually goes hand-in-hand with wine selections, and the Brasserie is no exception. A rotating list encompasses a wide range of varietals, selected both for quality and the ability to pair well with the menu. For those who aren’t head over heels for wine, they also have four Chattanooga Brewing Company beer choices on tap, as well as a new menu of hand-crafted specialty cocktails. The dining room is quite modern with large windows that provide natural lighting and beautiful views of the downtown bridges. Of particular interest is the Chef’s Table, which features personalized tasting menus and wine pairings in four, five, or six courses—you can give yourself over to the chef’s whims, or specify the items you wish to receive. (Be sure to call for reservations!) If you’re just in for a regular visit, they offer three

ChatÓ Brasserie 200 Manufacturers Road For reservations: (423) 305-1352 chatodining.com Hours: 5 to 9 p.m., Monday-Thursday 5 to 10 p.m., Friday & Saturday 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Sunday

portion sizes, with small plates ranging from $4 to $9, medium plates from $7 to $11, and large plates that run from $19 to $32. The seasonal menu recently switched, offering lighter and fresher flavors for the spring. Small plates include cracked pepper gnocchi (served with grapes, gorgonzola cream, fresh oregano and a verjus foam) and lump crab arancini (with lemon, caper, escargot butter and tomato concasse). An example of a medium plate is the duck

confit flat bread, accompanied by pickled strawberries and a toasted coriander aioli. Higher up the chain are choices like paella (constructed with gulf shrimp, littleneck clams and chorizo) and a mustard and mint Colorado lamb porterhouse, served with caperwhipped potatoes, eggplant and zucchini with romesco sauce. New wines will be rolling in throughout the season to match these contemporary flavors. You can visit their Face-

book page to see what’s currently on offer. The list usually sits at around 50 bottles, and is comprised of all varieties from around the globe. From Prosecco and Champagne, Chardonnay and Viognier, all the way to Malbec and Syrah, there’s sure to be several bottles to suit your tastes. You’ll find recognizable names, as well as boutique selections, and upwards of 20 are offered by the glass. Once per month, they have

an event they call “Raid the Cellar,” during which you can negotiate the price of your bottle of wine with your server in an entertaining exchange. The next “Raid the Cellar” event is April 11. In addition, ChatÓ Brasserie offers off-site catering, as well as in-house lunch catering (they are normally only open for dinner). Some wines are even offered in three-ounce pours, ideal for those sipping at lunch! It’s an ideal opportunity for business meetings, bridal parties, or just a group of friends to have the whole place to themselves. April brings a happy hour to ChatÓ Brasserie, with halfprice glasses of wine from 5 to 6 p.m., Monday through Thursday. Stop in early and get this steal of a deal with some of the items off their new menu.

chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 31

1,000 Words A WRITER’S JOURNAL

The Low-End Charm of Boone’s Farm By Bill Ramsey if you spend time in california and drink wine, chances are you are a fan of Two Buck Chuck. In that far-off nirvana where one can freely purchase wine (or any other kind of beer or liquor) at convenience stores, Trader Joe’s is the go-to grocery store for a certain brand of premium wine with Skid Row pricing. I speak, of course, of Charles Shaw wines, which have gained a passionate following in California for their excellent taste and, more importantly, the $1.99 price tag, hence the nickname. Visit any Trader Joe’s and you’ll find customers carting cases of Two Buck Chuck out the door, stocking up as if a nuclear winter were forecast. Indeed, many live in fear of the day when these award-winning wines’ bargain-basement price will disappear. That’s not likely. Fred Franzia, who along with his brother, Joe, own Bronco Wine, which makes Shaw and other low-cost domestic brands, has for years engaged in a war against the pretentiousness and priciness of his competitors, saying only a sucker would pay more than $10 for a bottle of wine and colorfully taunting other winemakers as “bozos in a glass.” You won’t find Two Buck Chuck in Chattanooga, since it is exclusively sold through Trader Joe’s, the charming California-based chain of small grocery stores who’ve made their legend by selling a wide variety of high-end products at reasonable prices in stores staffed with knowledeable foodies and wine experts. Tennessee’s arcane liquor laws prohibit the sales of wine in grocery stores, and until this is corrected we’ll likely never experience the joys TBC or Trader Joe’s. I relate this tale not to rail against the state’s laws (although they deserve to be railed against; but that’s another story), but because Two Buck Chuck reminds me of a time when bargain-priced wine was less about quality and all about bang for the buck. Even wine snobs agree that TBC is actually a very good wine. But it’s the $1.99 price tag that has made it legend and its only competitor in the low-end market prior to its introduction has been a certain stable of wines most connisseurs would politely call swill. You know them as the flavored, low-alcohol wines that cost less than $5 and would, if consumed quick-

Living in a post-ironic era that celebrates Pabst Blue Ribbon, why couldn’t Boone’s Farm market itself as the ‘Official Beverage of High School?’ Oh. Yeah. That’s just too obvious. ly enough, produce the desired effect—namely a cheap buzz. I speak here, of course, of Boone’s Farm and Mogen David 20/20. Ask anyone over 40 about Boone’s Farm or MD 20/20 and you’ll likely be regailed with stories lodged deep within their high school memories. At any high school party in the 1970s or ’80s, these were the preferred beverages of our dates and girlfriends. And because they were both cheap and easy to procure (even for under-age students with bad fake IDs), they remain a nostalgic favorite. But they also occupy different levels in the social strata of teen drinking of which an entire study could be written. It is my memory that Boone’s Farm appealed to most teenage girls because it did not taste like alcohol and had at least an element of “class.” In the supremely preppy era of my high school years, this rather dubious distinction mattered a great deal. While many girls I knew were eager to party—as eager as any boy, as I recall—they were not so eager to be seen swilling Miller Ponies or a Mickey’s Big Mouth. Sipping a glass of Boone’s Farm (strawberry was a particular favorite) lent a certain degree of sophistication to even the most debaucherous gathering. And if they sipped their way through an entire bottle, as was often the case, chances were the provider of said “fine wine” would be rewarded with some form of carnal pleasure. Rather louche, I know, but consider the time. Less favored by my crowd’s female population was MD 20/20, the grape-flavored fortified wine we simple referred to as “Mad Dog.” Mad Dog gained its popularity as a “bum wine,” a cheap high without

the sting of liquor but with a boosted alcohol content that hit the mark much faster than Boone’s Farm. Indeed, 20/20 originally stood for 20 ounces at 20 percent alcohol, something my friends and I became aware of rather quickly. The girls of my high school years rarely ventured into Mad Dog territory, but it was quite frequently used as a base for an even more fortified punch (mixed with Everclear) that became a popular non-beer option at many parties of my misspent and reckless youth. The boys, of course, found both Boone’s Farm and Mad Dog to be of sufficent alcohol content to achieve the maximum buzz in the minimum time, which of course was the point when one was 16. And while it was certainly easy to drink oneself sick by pounding ponies, nothing said sicker than a post-party ralphfest brought on by the sugary sweet aftertaste of strawberry or grape wine. Nevertheless, there remains an entire cult of devotees who continue to sing the praises of Boone’s Farm long past their high school days. At the Boone’s Farm Fan Club online (boonesfarm.net) pages of testimonials declare the superior taste and value of the brand with vigor and zeal. Consider this high school memory from Sandie, who followed her own son’s post with this: “I remember drinking Boone’s Farm Strawberry Wine in high school while I was a dating a guy named Randy. He drank MD 20/20 while driving. Good times!” Good times, indeed, and with my 30th high school reunion on the horizon later this year, I suspect a certain group of those attending will fondly recall the fruity beverage of their youth with dewy-eyed nostalgia. Living in a post-ironic era that celebrates Pabst Blue Ribbon and other downscale beers, it’s quite possible Boone’s Farm could make a comeback. But then again, my suggestion at marketing the stuff as the “Official Beverage of High School” will probably never pass muster—it’s just too obvious. After all, I’m pretty sure there’s a high schooler down the street who already knows this, so why ruin the secret—hipster marketing is all about a wink and nod. Bill Ramsey is the creative director of The Pulse and consorted with many girls in high school who drank Boone’s Farm.

“1,000 Words: A Writer’s Journal” is an occasional feature showcasing essays, stories and anecdotes about Chattanooga, the South and our world. To be considered for publication, submit 1,000 words or less to creative@chattanoogapulse.com. Use “1,000 Words Submission” as the subject of your email.

32 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Screen

JOHN DEVORE

Separation Anxiety “a separation” is a film about the interaction between two unhappy families, each unhappy in their own way. They are not alike in dignity; no, these families share religion, country and culture, but are separated by economics. Poverty is a universal hardship. As we’ve seen in recent times, unemployment damages the viability and stability of families and can cause strife, anger, and violence. But a steady income only cushions misfortune—sickness, death and divorce are trials faced regularly. In this country, stories of depression and divorce are commonplace. We believe that we are free to make our own mistakes and face the consequences. The free market dictates our financial success and our personal relationships are based on individual desire and whim. Americans attribute these circumstances to the freedoms built into our society. But in a country like Iran, with its national religion and Sharia law, such decisions are not so simple. Its people are ruled by the iron fist of theocratic rule. And yet, “A Separation,” the Iranian film that won the 2012 Academy Award for Best Foreign Language Film, is a story that transcends cultural differences and challenges current American impressions of Iran. Shades of dangerous oppression are present in the film, but their bureaucracy doesn’t seem that much different than ours. More importantly, the people of Iran are like the people anywhere else. They love their families, fear losing them, and protect them when they are threatened. The film begins with Nadir and Simin ending their marriage. Simin has successfully petitioned the government to leave the country to go abroad, hoping to take their 11-year-old daughter Telmah

away from Iran. Nadir refuses to leave because he must care for his father, who suffers from Alzheimer’s Disease. The two cannot come to an agreement; Nadir has given Simin a divorce but will not give up custody of Telmah. The separation is granted, however, and Simin leaves to move in with her mother. This leaves Nadir with a need for a daytime caretaker for his father. Simin suggests the sister-in-law of a friend, Razieh, a pregnant woman who is looking to make ends meet, as her husband has been unemployed for over a year. But Islam has strict rules concerning male-female relationships, and a woman caring for an old man who is not her husband has its limits. An agreement is reached, and although the commute is long and the work is hard, Razieh begins working for Nadir. We learn over the course of the film that Razieh and her husband Hodat are plagued by

creditors. Eventually, there is a question of irresponsibility on the part of Razieh’s caretaking, as well as a question of missing money. This leads to an altercation between Razieh and Nadir, as well as a miscarriage of questionable origin. Charges are filed and these two families become entwined in serious legal strife. “A Separation” is a quiet film, one that is dependent on good actors and good writing. It is a powerful drama that is both engaging and accessible for all audiences. There is no overwhelming score to speak of; instead the filmmakers rely on tension and dialogue to pull the audience into each scene. The characters are real people, with real and understandable motivations. Here we have a film without an antagonist—the families are at odds with each other out of loyalty and obstinance, and while the situation is unfortunate and complex, we can see why those involved behave the

way they do. Like most of the problems of the world, this is one that could be solved if the involved parties would simply act reasonably. The unreasonable nature of the characters in “A Separation” is what makes it so real. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the role religion plays in the film. Many of the characters are very devout, and Islam is a constant presence in their lives. They make decisions based on the teachings of the Quran and attempt to abide by its principles. The problem is that their interpretations of these principles differ, largely due to their personal situations. God must be on someone’s side, after all. Is it any different here? In Iran, an unborn child is considered a person, and a miscarriage caused by someone else’s hand is murder. Mississippi has tried to define life as beginning at conception. If “A Separation” is an accurate depiction of Iranian life, then the country is as similar to the U.S. as it is different. It seems to me that we need more films from Iran, more examples of the lives of her people. We need to see our similarities; the more we separate them, the easier they are to demonize. Like the characters in the film, neither of us can see all ends. Talking honestly may eliminate unnecessary misery. A Separation Rated: PG-13 • 123 minutes Carmike Majestic 12 311 Broad St. (423) 265-5220 carmike.com chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 33

Agatha Christie’s

PLAYING

MAR 16 Tickets:

THRU

APR 1

TheatreCentre.com OR CALL

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34 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

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chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 35

Free Will Astrology ARIES (March 21-April 19): Not bad for a few weeks’ work, or play, or whatever it is you want to call this tormented, inspired outburst. Would it be too forward of me to suggest that you’ve gone a long way toward outgrowing the dark fairy tale that had been haunting your dreams for so long? And yet all this may just be a warm-up for your next metamorphosis, in which you make an audacious new commitment to becoming what you really want to be when you grow up.

CHATTANOOGA CHOW

RESTAURANT GUIDE

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): This week I’m taking a break from my usual pep talks. I think it’s for the best. If I deliver a kind-hearted kick in the butt, maybe it will encourage you to make a few course corrections, thereby making it unnecessary for fate to get all tricky and funky on you. So here you go, Taurus: 1. The last thing you need is someone to support your flaws and encourage you in your delusions. True friends will offer snappy critiques and crisp advice. 2. Figure out once and for all why you keep doing a certain deed that’s beneath you, then gather the strength and get the help you need to quit it. 3. It’s your duty to stop doing your duty with such a somber demeanor and heavy tread. To keep from sabotaging the good it can accomplish, you’ve got to put more pleasure into it. GEMINI (May 21-June 20):

The German word Weltratsel can be translated as “World Riddle.” Coined by the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, it refers to questions like “What is the meaning of existence?” and “What is the nature of reality?” According to my reading of the astrological omens, Gemini, you’re now primed to deepen your understanding of the World Riddle. For the next few weeks, you will have an enhanced ability to pry loose useful secrets about some big mysteries. Certain passages in the Book of Life that have always seemed like gobbledygook to you will suddenly make sense. Here’s a bonus: Every time you decipher more of the World Riddle, you will solve another small piece of your Personal Riddle.

36 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” So wrote George Bernard Shaw in his book “Man and Superman.” From the hints I have gleaned, Cancerian, you are now in an ideal phase to be the sort of unreasonable man or woman who gets life to adapt so as to better serve you and your dreams. Even if it’s true that the emphasis in the past has often been on you bending and shaping yourself to adjust to the circumstances others have wrought, the coming weeks could be different.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In his book “Word Hero,” Jay Heinrichs offers us advice about how to deliver pithy messages that really make an impact. Here’s one tip that would be especially useful for you in the coming days: Exaggerate precisely. Heinrichs gives an example from the work of the illustrious raconteur, American author Mark Twain. Twain did not write, “In a single day, New England’s weather changes a billion times.” Rather, he said, “In the spring I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of four-and twenty hours.” Be inspired by Twain’s approach in every way you can imagine, Leo. Make things bigger and wilder and more expansive everywhere you go, but do it with exactitude and rigor. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “Liminality” is a term that refers to the betwixt and between state. It’s dawn or dusk, when neither night nor day fully rules. It’s the mood that prevails when a transition is imminent or a threshold beckons. During a rite of passage, liminality is the phase when the initiate has left his or her old way of doing things but has not yet been fully accepted or integrated into the new way. Mystical traditions from all over the world recognize this as a shaky but potent situation—a time and place when uncertainty and ambiguity reign even as exciting possibilities loom. In my estimate,

Virgo, you’re now ensconced in liminality.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The Argentinian writer Antonio Porchia said there were two kinds of shadows: “some hide, others reveal.” In recent weeks, you’ve been in constant contact with the shadows that hide. But beginning any moment now, you’ll be wandering away from those rather frustrating enigmas and entering into a dynamic relationship with more evocative mysteries: the shadows that reveal. Be alert for the shift so you won’t get caught assuming that the new shadows are just like the old ones.

selves. Reason is beauty. Light and darkness are arbitrary divisions. Cleanliness is as undefinable and as natural as filth. The physiological body is pure spirit. Monotony is madness. The frontier is both outside and inside. The universe is the messiah. The senses are gods and goddesses. Where the body is— there are all things.”

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22Jan. 19): You know those tall, starched white hats that many chefs wear? Traditionally they had 100 pleats, which denoted the number of ways a real professional could cook an egg. I urge you to wear one of those hats in the coming weeks, Capricorn—or whatever the equivalent symbol might be for your specialty. It’s high time for you to express your ingenuity in dealing with what’s simple and familiar ... to be inventive and versatile as you show how much you can accomplish using just the basics.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Every winter, hordes of ants have overrun my house. At least that was true up until recently. This winter, the pests stayed away, and that has been very good news. I didn’t have to fight them off with poison and hand-to-hand combat. The bad news? The reason they didn’t invade was because very little rain fell, as it’s supposed to during Northern California winters. The ants weren’t driven above ground by the torrents that usually soak the soil. And so now drought threatens our part of the world. Water shortages may loom. I propose that this scenario is a metaphor for a dilemma you may soon face, Scorpio—except that you will have a choice in the matter: Would you rather deal with a lack of a fundamental resource or else an influence that’s bothersome but ultimately pretty harmless?

18): As I was driving my car in San Francisco late one night, I arrived at a traffic signal that confused me. The green light was radiant and steady, but then so was the red light. I came to a complete stop and waited until finally, after about two minutes, the red faded. I suspect you may soon be facing a similar jumble of mixed signals, Aquarius. If that happens, I suggest you do what I did. Don’t keep moving forward; pause and sit still until the message gets crisp and clear.

SAGITTARIUS

PISCES

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You’re entering one of the most buoyant phases of your astrological cycle. Your mandate is to be brash and bouncy, frothy and irrepressible. To prepare you, I’ve rounded up some exclamatory declarations by poet Michael McClure. Take them with you as you embark on your catalytic adventures. They’ll help you cultivate the right mood. McClure: “Everything is natural. The light on your fingertips is starlight. Life begins with coiling—molecules and nebulae. Cruelty, selfishness, and vanity are boring. Each self is many

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.

(Feb. 19-March 20): A woman named Joan Ginther has won the Texas Lottery four times, collecting over $20 million. Is she freakishly lucky? Maybe not, according to Nathaniel Rich’s article in the August 2011 issue of Harper’s. He notes that Ginther has a PhD in math from Stanford, and wonders if she has used her substantial understanding of statistics to game the system. (More here: tinyurl.com/ LuckAmuck.) Be inspired by her example, Pisces. You now have exceptional power to increase your good fortune through hard work and practical ingenuity.

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ON APRIL 19 CHOW WILL EAT THE PULSE CHATTANOOGA CHOW RESTAURANT GUIDE INSIDE IN OUR HUGE FOOD&DRINK ISSUE

GET IN THIS ISSUE! CALL 423.242.7693 “Double Scoop”—everything sorta melted together. Across

1. Just barely covering, with “over” 9. Change for the better 14. 1970s-80s sitcom signoff 15. Hardin of “The Office” 17. Double scoop that’s part sugary nuts, part three-flavored 19. Visibly took notice 20. Former senator Feingold 21. Airline until 2001 22. 2, 4, 6 or 2008 24. ___ Solo (character played by Peter Griffin on “Family Guy”) 25. Hosp. area 28. Not-real-strict quality 31. “This is your brain on drugs” prop 32. Double scoop that’s part multicolored, part liqueur 35. They sound just like D# 36. Alyssa of “Who’s the Boss?” 38. Double scoop that’s part chocolate, part citrus 42. DVR button

43. Distance between markers 44. Doc for head stuff: abbr. 45. “There’s a mouse behind the fridge!!!” 46. Hair grossness 47. “___ was saying...” 48. Condo division 50. Coupe alternative 55. Double scoop that’s part sweet and chunky, part tart 59. Caber-___ (Highland games competitor) 60. Early 2012 U.S. disasters (in a legit but unusual spelling) 61. Prefix before dactyl 62. It may end in PEZOLCFTD

DOWN

1. Economist’s stats 2. “Tomb Raider” heroine Croft 3. “I Left Something Turned ___ Home” (Trace Adkins song) 4. “Star Trek” lieutenant 5. Little cut 6. Actor McDiarmid 7. Away from SSW 8. Indigenous people that Paraguay named

its currency after 9. “Famous” cookie guy 10. Diner on the sitcom “Alice” 11. Tom’s QB opponent, in Super Bowl XLVI 12. Imperfect, as a substitute 13. Threaten, in a way 16. They Might Be Giants song with the line “And her voice is a backwards record” 18. Less sullied 22. Sun ___ (Chinese revolutionary) 23. Abbr. after a phone number, on a business card 25. Tend to a sprain 26. Business with biscotti 27. Least happy, in Vegas 28. Release 29. End-of-aisle product offer

30. Lily Allen hit of 2006 33. Planking or Tebowing 34. Suffix for percent 37. Toronto’s prov. 39. Find at an archeological dig 40. Do bird calls, say 41. Digital camera output 42. Look shocked, maybe 48. Online gamer, e.g. 49. Possibly insane Roman ruler 50. Lip ___ contest 51. “In the Valley of ___” (2007 Tommy Lee Jones film) 52. ___ double take 53. Love, Latin-style 54. Oriole’s pad 56. Ending for Canton or Siam 57. Comedian Jo ___ 58. Before, to Robert Burns

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0564. chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 37

Life in the Noog

chuck crowder

Remove the Trash, Flies Will Go Away it was famously said in some stupid movie about a fantasy cornfield baseball diamond, “build it and they will come.” In downtown Chattanooga’s case, that’s certainly been true. The Tennessee Aquarium and other attractions bring nearly three million tourists to town each year. Our ultra-huge trade center delivers a wealth of conventions and annual meetings. And, housing built in and around downtown is at near maximum capacity. Despite naysayers at every step of the way, we spent millions upon millions of dollars building it—and they came. Then, Club Fathom, 801 Fire & Ice, and Midtown hung shingles for pennies on the dollar —and they came. But those who showed up this time didn’t add the same vibe to our party. They brought crime, violence and general nuisance. They thump around our Disneyland downtown popping off caps at each other over the heads of tourists innocently trying to find a snow cone. In short, they are quickly ruining the progress we’ve made downtown over the last two decades without adding anything positive. Some blame our mayor by gutting the police force. Some blame the police for not keeping the peace. Some blame the Beer Board for outdated regulations with loopholes that shifty lawyers can easily navigate. And some blame the owners of these businesses for allowing such ac-

tivities to go on in and around their establishments. But what about the property owners? The police can’t be everywhere at once. The Beer Board needs an overhaul. And the owners of those businesses know what kinds of thugs are going to show up to “da club” and just want some of their Benjamin’s before they make it rain up in here. But the property owners have the 4-1-1 as well, and the power to make a difference. I realize there are thousands upon thousands of square feet

“

Property owners have a responsibility to protect the integrity of the neighborhoods they serve. of empty downtown commercial space available to the handful of takers willing to sign longterm leases. And I know that the property tax bill is the same whether a space is generating income or not. But in actuality, landowners are shooting themselves in the foot by renting to tenants who detract from the area around their property. You see, by renting to businesses that draw an unsavory clientele, they are helping drive down the appeal and property value of the area. Why would anyone want to trip over the dollars of property value to pick up the dimes of regular rent? Doesn’t make good business sense to me. That said, property owners have a responsibility to protect the integrity of the neighborhoods they serve by leasing to

respectable tenants and then keeping an eye on what’s going on within their property’s four walls. Or at least they should. We can only do so much from the outside looking in. It’s up to owners to do their part and lease to good tenants. Some take this responsibility to heart. Some don’t. I was part of a group that leased a space on Georgia Avenue. I remember the landlord being very inquisitive about what we were going to do with the space, even giving us some guidelines by which we were to adhere. But our intentions were good, and we were good tenants. This same landlord also owns and leases the space where Midtown Music Hall is located. Apparently she quit paying attention, or doesn’t care, what is going on in and around that space. No, she likely looks the other way because she is in no way responsible for what goes on in the businesses located in her building. But what if she was? What if she was imposed a substantial fine each and every time the police were called to her property for a disturbance? If so, all lost rent aside, I think she’d kick out the troublemakers and look harder to find more responsible tenants. Luckily our broken city sys-

tem was eventually able to shut down Club Fathom and 801 Fire & Ice despite little if any help from the property owners, but what about Midtown? Why does it continue to operate even though it has been subject to the same kinds of police calls and Beer Board hearings as the other two? Something needs to happen, and soon. Two of my close friends (who also happen to be popular local musicians) were attacked near Patten Parkway a couple of weeks ago by some people they encountered while simply walking past Midtown. They were continually beaten and their wallets were taken before police eventually captured at least one of the perpetrators. During the ordeal, one of the victims heard the attackers blurt out “we own this city.” No they don’t, but those who do have the power to make good things happen. Remove the trash and the flies will go away. Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you read with a grain of salt, but let it pepper your thoughts.

“Whoever you are, wherever you are on life’s journey... You’re welcome here.”

Pilgrim Congregational Church United Church of Christ Sunday • Worship 11am 400 Glenwood Drive at 3rd Street

pilgrim-church.com • mail@pilgrim-church.com

Liberal • Progressive • Inclusive • Protestant Church 38 • The Pulse • march 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

chattanoogapulse.com • march 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 39