The Pulse 9.30 » July 26-Aug. 1, 2012

July 26, 2012

Vol. 9 • No. 30

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

strung like a

HORSEPLAY ON parade

P8

MUSIC blue man group: ODD MEN OUT ARTS urbAN DESIGN RETROSPECTIVE

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July 26: Street Food Thursdays at Warehouse Row, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.

July 27: Fresh on Fridays at Miller Plaza, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., Nightfall 7-10 p.m.

July 28: North Shore (corner of Manufacturer’s and Cherokee), 12 to 2 p.m.

July 29: The Tomato Festival at the Chattanooga Market, 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Starting August 4th, find us at Riverfront Nights on Saturdays!

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HIGHLIGHTS

THE PULSE •july 26-aug. 1, 2012 • vol. 9 •no. 30

COVER STORY

Well Strung

• With a new EP and video, Strung Like A Horse stages its own circus parade to lead crowds from Nightfall to Rhythm & Brews for an evening of homegrown garage grass. » 8

By Sarah Skates CLUB CAPTAINS

ARTS

The Kinsey Report

Reimagine, React, Repeat

• Nearing its first anniversary, Track 29 turned conventional concert wisdom on its ear. A profile of its owner, Adam Kinsey, reveals the simple reasoning behind the venue’s success. » 18

By Richard Winham

• A new exhibit opening July 31 shows off dozens of urban design visions, built and unbuilt, from Chattanooga’s Urban Design Studio, the source of most of the design thinking that has reshaped downtown since 1980. » 23

By Rich Bailey

ADVERTISING Advertising Director Mike Baskin Account Executive Rick Leavell

CONTACT Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com calendar@chattanoogapulse.com Got a stamp?

1305 Carter St. • Chattanooga, TN 37402

the fine print EDITORIAL Publisher Zachary Cooper Creative Director Bill Ramsey Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder • John DeVore • Janis Hashe Matt Jones • Chris Kelly • D.E. Langley Mike McJunkin • David Morton • Ernie Paik Alex Teach • Richard Winham Cartoonists Max Cannon • Richard Rice Tom Tomorrow Photography Jason Dunn • Josh Lang Interns Hadley James • Katie Johnston Patrick Noland • Cole Rose

The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2012 Brewer Media

BREWER MEDIA GROUP President Jim Brewer II

chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 3

BOWL

THE

solar power

‘Light’ house parked in Chattanooga if you’ve taken a right off of Manufacturers Road onto Cherokee Boulevard on the North Shore lately, you’ve undoubtedly noticed what is either a solar-powered space ship or an exhibition of the state’s nicest trailer.

The truth is that the contraption is the University of Tennessee’s Living Light house. Living Light served as the state university’s contribution to the 2011 U.S. Department of Energy’s Solar Decathlon, a contest held every two years that challenges teams from all over the world to design, build and operate solar houses that are cost-effective, energy efficient and attractive. Tennessee’s team earned a respectable eighth place in the compe-

4 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

TALK OF THE NOOG chattanoogapulse.com • facebook/chattanoogapulsE SEND LETTERS TO: INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

tition and since then has been taking the house on a “victory lap” around the state, showing off the capabilities of solar energy for the public, with Chattanooga being the final stop on the tour. The house opened up for walk-throughs on July 21 and is scheduled to stay in town through July 29 before heading back to the home base in Knoxville.

Living Light is a fully functional house that generates all of its power through the overhanging 10.9-kilowatt array that harnesses enough sunlight to power not only all of the internal appliances, but also has enough juice left over to charge an electric car. Also impressive is the double glass façade system, which allows for the thermal cavity of the house to automatically regulate temperature and redirect air flow and light depending on the time of day and the season.

And yet with all of these technological advancements, the solar-equipped rect-

angle still visually resembles the mode of housing so familiar to our residents: the oblong aluminum trailer. Originally modeled after the Cantilever Barn structures (think a shotgun-style lofted barn on stilts) exclusive to the Appalachia region, once the Living Light design abandoned the foundational posts that characterize the Cantilever Barns the new structure began to take a recognizable shape. All just proving the age-old adage: You can take the trailer out of the energy wasting days of the past, but you can’t take the trailer out of Tennessee.

—Cole Rose

TECHnology

Former CFC players give health a Nudge apparently the chattanooga futbol Club is good for more than just scoring goals and dominating semi-professional soccer. Two former CFC players have developed a new mobile health app called Nudge designed to help businesses keep their costs down by keeping employees in shape.

Mac Gambill and Phil Beene were teammates at Wofford, later for the CFC and are now in the business together developing the app.

“I wanted to create something that could help address negative eating and exercise cultures within companies and replace them with more active and cooperative workplaces,” Beene said.

That’s where Nudge comes in. It functions as a record-keeping program where participants can enter in their exercise activities and food intake on their computers or mobile devices throughout the day as a part of a health encouragement competition. The system then applies it to a group effort and everyone can track his or her contributions and the boss can reward the team with the best results. So in the end, employees get slimmer and the company saves money through lower health insurance claims and fewer sick days.

The Nudge team is keeping it local for now, with an office based in Chattanoo-

ga and another in Richmond, Va. Aaron Hoffman, who founded Tubatomic Stuidos and now serves as marketing and sales director for Nudge, said he expects the app to be available nationwide next year.

“The mobile app is currently in use at Cary Street Partners in several southeast locations, and has proven to be easy to use, fun and engaging, and is producing some excellent results,” Hoffman said.

—Cole Rose

HOPERa

Stella, sopranos and suds at Summitt there are few things a glass of beer does not improve upon—and the list of those things for which it is not normally associated with deserves to be revised.

Take opera, for instance. When most think of opera, they imagine gilded concert halls filled with stuffy patrons. If they imbibe at all, it’s likely a cocktail or glass of wine before or after the performance. Buddy Shirk wants to change that.

Shirk is the manager of Summitt Pianos and the creative force behind a number of unstuffy events at the instrument store.

His latest? Hops & Opera, the fifth version of which offers both free opera and free beer at 8 p.m. on Saturday, July 28, at the store, located at 6209 Lee Hwy. “Free opera, free beer,” Shirk says, “What’s not to like?”

Indeed, if you (like us) are opera-phobic, this casual event (and the addition of beer) could ease your fear. Shirk and the Summitt crew have teamed with Big River Grille to bring international soprano Stella Zambalis to perform (who has performed in Chattanooga several times), along with local sopranos Vanessa Niblack-Kimbrough, Sara Snider Schone and pianist Jason DuRoy. Guest artists include soprano Luisa Rodriguez of Boulder, Colo., soprano Sara Peeples and baritone Joseph Ryan of Sarasota, Fla. The singers will draw from opera classics from composers such as Bellini, Strauss and Pucciini as well as the music of Mozart and Mendelssohn.

“If you’ve never heard an operatic voice live—and only 15 feet away,” Shirk says, “Stella’s is the one to start with.”

The free concert is open to the public, but seating is limited and an RSVP is required to reserve your chair (and beer).

Doors open at 7:30 p.m. and Shirk promises two Big River kegs will flow freely as long as they last. To RSVP, contact Shirk at Summitt Pianos at (423) 499-0600.

—Bill Ramsey

On the Beat

Summitt Pianos Presents

alex teach

Be Prepared “you see, madness, as you know, is like gravity: all it takes … is a little push.”

—The Joker from “The Dark Knight” (2008) Madness. That’s the word people are searching for when they are trying to explain, compartmentalize and quantify tragic events so that we can better wrap our heads around them. Just as our eye is drawn to a crooked picture on a wall or a seatbelt hanging outside a moving car door, we instinctively know when something is out of place, and we just as instinctively want to fix it. And when we can’t? It can eat at us. Frustrate us.

And depending on your proximity to the event in question, it can wear our minds to a nub.

The simple expression of basic truth in that opening quote is something that we, as a society, prefer to avoid (and therefore why it immediately stuck in my mind). Some of you who have had their sanity tested—really tested—know exactly what I mean when you read that line. It is just that simple.

Many of us are just a good solid (or not so solid) push away from turning into Roger Rabbit.

Thirteen years ago at Columbine High School we wanted to know the same thing: Why? Where were their parents? Was it the music they listened to?

Sept. 11, 2001—2,985 lives lost. Why? We can’t blame the religion the perpetrators said compelled them to do this or people will think we are rude, so was it something we did to inspire this?

Hurricane Katrina,

Aug. 23, 2005—1,836 lives lost. Tens of thousands were displaced, wandering on foot across Louisiana and Mississippi, and so desperate for the “why?” Some actually blamed then-President Bush for not signing the Kyoto Accords, which clearly would have fixed the world’s climate and therefore prevented that hurricane from occurring.

People need to fill in the holes, to put things in a safe place so that they don’t have to live in perpetual fear of the reality that this kind of shit really happens some time, and we can’t do anything about it. That’s why we were glued to Fox News and CNN for 50 consecutive hours after the planes hit the WTC so long ago: Why? How? Disbelief.

You can put your purse in the trunk of your car in the mall parking lot at Christmas time. You can install floodlights around your homes and get a large dog to decrease the odds of burglary. But you can’t legislate the James Holmeses of the world, and it scares the hell out of us.

Will a new gun-law be enacted somewhere as a

result of this shooting?

Yup. But what gun detractors inexplicably fail to realize is that peoples such as Holmes, when preparing to break the law, generally don’t care about the law. Crazy concept, right?

We’re screening 80-yearold ladies and 6-year-old kids for guns boarding airplanes these days and making it harder to get guns in the hands of law abiding citizens that could STOP people like Holmes while they go about their rude, non-law abiding activities. But it makes us feel better … it makes us feel accomplished, even if it equates to trying to cure alcoholism with liquor.

But like the bumper sticker says: “Shit happens.” There isn’t always an explanation, a reason or justification. All you can do is be prepared for it, no matter how unlikely it may seem. There doesn’t have to be a “why”—only a response. Mine will be with a Springfield XD Sub-Compact .40 and a racing but determined heart.

Afterwards? Well if there was an explanation, it wouldn’t very well be called “madness”, would it? No need for legislation. Just preparedness.

At least that’s how I keep sleeping well.

Live Opera, COLd Beer

8 p.m. • Saturday, July 28 Complimentary Seating • RSVP Required

Great Music • Great Voices Great Pianos • Great Beer

Summitt Pianos, Big River Grille and BrewingWorks bring international soprano Stella Zambalis to Chattanooga.

Come as you are and get carried away!

FeatuRinG LoCaL aRtiStS Vanessa Niblack-Kimbrough, soprano Sara Snider Schone, mezzo-soprano Jason DuRoy, piano GueSt aRtiStS Soprano Luisa Rodriguez of Boulder, Co. Soprano Sara Peeples & baritone Joseph Ryan of Sarasota, Fla. Hosted by Harv Wileman & Buddy Shirk

RSVP to Buddy Shirk at 423.499.0600 Limited Seating – Reserve Yours today!

Summitt Pianos • 6209 Lee Highway

REDEFINE YOUR WEEKEND. REDEFINE YOUR PROPERTY. REDEFINE YOUR IMAGE. CALL US TODAY OR VISIT OUR WEBSITE TO START IMPROVING YOUR HOME

423.667.2662 REDEFININGLANDSCAPES.COM

GREEN IS OUR BUSINESS. WE RECYCLE.

Alex Teach is a fulltime police officer of nearly 20 years experience.

The opinions expressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at facebook. com/alex.teach. chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 5

Walk of Life

End of an Era at Bax & Velvet’s Warehouse

Photos • Josh Lang

A huge, private collection of Americana memorabilia goes on sale in Red Bank as owners close the themed party club that is also their home.

By Cole Rose “it’s the end of personal era,” bax and velvet walker tell me, as we sit in the middle of “The Warehouse,” the Red Bank home turned theme party house. There are human-sized Alvin and the Chipmunk figurines to our right and a fully decorated and functional soda fountain in an annex to the left. There is a giant, old-school movie marquee over a stage and a functioning barbershop. Every inch of the 25-foot ceilings are covered with old Texaco signs, Coca-Cola advertisements and other decorative signage dominating the wall space. For an immediate visual context, it looks like something that Cracker Barrel’s interior decorators fantasize about. It’s a collection of Americana ranging from cowboys to Indian motorcycles and pretty much everything in between, and for the past few decades, The Warehouse collection of odds and ends off of Dayton Boulevard has served as Bax and Velvet Walker’s home.

6 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Bax Walker, left, and Pulse reporter Cole Rose talk at The Warehouse, Walker’s home turned themed party house.

Walker and his wife, Velvet, are selling off their huge collection of memorabilia.

“Years ago, we were gonna build a house, but we figured if we did that, we’d have to build a whole warehouse to hold everything that we have,” Bax said So that’s what they did. And now I’m sitting in the middle of a lifetime of collecting hanging on walls and sitting in boxes and

everything about it seems very unique to me. Bax sees it differently, “The most unique thing about Velvet and I is simple— when we get something in our head, we just do it.”

And that’s how the parties started. About 14 years ago, a friend put the idea into their heads that they should start entertaining and share their collection with other people. Bax and Velvet built a stage in their home and put it under their homemade illuminated marquee and Bax became the emcee. Then »P11

Vet Offers Holistic Approach

By Chris Kelly for many, animals are an integral part of our world, providing companionship and even health benefits for those that let them into our lives.

The presence of a pet can reduce blood pressure, alleviate depression and certainly ease despair and loneliness.

But when animals get sick, they have no voice to tell us.

And unlike humans, animals cannot choose between traditional medicine and alternative care, such as natural healing and acupuncture. That’s where Dr. Colleen Smith’s new Southside clinic enters the picture.

“The response has been overwhelmingly positive,” Smith says. “Many new clients are saying they have been looking for a holistic vet for years, and knew I was on Signal Mountain but couldn’t make the drive.”

Smith’s Chattanooga Holistic Animal Institute had its soft opening in May, following with an official opening on June 22. Inside, the new clinic’s pet massage therapy room, and well-stocked shelves of homeopathic pet foods clearly indicate an alternative approach to veterinary medicine.

The clinic offers veterinary acupuncture, chiropractic, nutrition therapy, laser therapy, green grooming, awake dental procedures, digital X-ray, vaccinations and vaccine titers, general medicine, canine massage therapy and nutritional supplements.

“Most of our appointments right now are for acupuncture, chiropractic and nutrition consultations,” Smith says.

While some may view the practice as unorthodox, Smith

Dr. Colleen Smith and patient at Chattanooga Holistic Animal Institute on Main Street.

says the effectiveness of these treatments is sometimes apparent quickly.

“We had a sweet Schnauzer that couldn’t walk on her hind legs,” she says. “She had been treated with many medications, and even had a MRI to figure out what was wrong with her. After a few treatments with acupuncture and chiropractic therapy, she was not only walking, but running short distances down the owner’s driveway.”

Holistic veterinary medicine is the art and science of

healing that addresses care of the whole animal—body, mind, and spirit—very much the same approach taken with humans.

“The practice of holistic veterinary medicine integrates conventional and complementary therapies to promote optimal health, and prevent and treat disease by addressing contributing factors,” Smith explains. “Each animal is seen as a unique individual, rather than an example of a particular disease.

“Disease is understood to be the result of physical, emotional, social and environmental imbalance. Healing, therefore, takes place naturally when these aspects of life

are brought into proper balance.”

Growing up in Virginia, Smith wanted to be a doctor.

Earning an undergraduate degree in biology at Virginia Tech, she worked for 10 years as an environmental chemist testing soil and water before deciding to go veterinary school. Attending Ross University on the Caribbean island of St. Kitts (where she and other students braved ailments such as Dengue Fever), she completed her coursework and, after her clinical studies at Auburn, earned her veterinary medicine degree.

It was Atlanta after that.

There Smith began to learn about holistic veterinary medicine and acupuncture at the Loving Touch Animal Center. She’s been a veterinarian now for eight years and also teaches veterinary acupuncture therapy.

The natural, chiropractic and acupuncture treatments offered at the clinic work for dogs, cats and horses and can treat a variety of symptoms and sicknesses. Smith and her team also offer laser therapy, Chinese herbal medicines, massage therapy and dietary treatments.

It is often said that holistic medicine is not as harsh as western medicines and very few side effects occur—in humans or animals—but it may not be for everyone.

“If you are happy with your pet and its veterinary care, that’s great,” Smith says. “But if you are not, or you want another alternative, it will never hurt to come in try the holistic approach.”

The clinic is located at 918 E. Main. For more information, visit its website at chattanoogaholisticvet.com or call (423) 531-8899. chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 7

F

rom floor-shaking shows at JJ’s Bohemia to imaginative music videos, popular Chattanooga band Strung Like A Horse goes all in on every endeavor. On Aug. 3 fans can expect the group’s biggest spectacle yet when the band headlines the Nightfall concert series, then leads a parade down Market Street to cap the night with an EP-release show at Rhythm & Brews.

“We’ve got a troupe of belly dancers and people eating fire,” explains lead singer and guitarist Clay Maselle excitedly. “Street performers TomFoolery and MaxZine will be riding six-foot-tall unicycles and juggling knives. We’ve lined up stilt walkers with bullhorns and marching drums. Plus, we bought 200 kazoos to pass out to the crowd. It’s going to be a full blown circus.”

City officials have agreed to close Market Street for the Strut Like A Horse parade and police officers will be directing traffic at the red lights.

Only a year ago, the band was pleased to secure a coveted opening slot on the Nightfall lineup. This year, Strung Like A Horse won the McKay’s Road to Nightfall competition and will headline, with support from Jordan Hallquist & The Outfit. Following Nightfall at Miller Plaza, the parade will march to Rhythm & Brews for the release party featuring guests Another Roadside Attraction.

With influences ranging from blues to bluegrass, it’s hard to pin down the sound that comes together when Maselle takes the stage with banjo player Ben Crawford, bassist BJ Hightower, Mark the Fiddler and percussionist/

honest music

WELL STRUNG h

With a new EP and video,

Strung Like A Horse

stages its own circus parade to lead crowds from Nightfall to Rhythm & Brews for a night of homegrown garage grass.

BY SARAH SKATES drummer Sloth.

“Everybody wants to know what kind of music we are playing, and it’s kind of hard to describe, except to say it’s Strung Like A Horse Music. It’s our music,” Maselle muses as he watches the rain from his front porch in North Chattanooga during a recent interview. “Some people have coined it ‘garage grass,’ which fits really well because it is bluegrass instruments, but we’re like a garage band because the sound is a little trashy and

dirty. And other people say our music is like metal with bluegrass instrumentation.”

Maselle notes that the new EP’s title track, “Glad,” zooms into metal territory, clocking in at 185 beats per minute. It is Maselle’s favorite track on the project, recorded with producer Charles Allison at Spanner Sound studio. Allison also helmed the group’s full-length debut, Live at Lindsey Street, recorded inside the former church near MLK.

Elsewhere, the new five-song set includes fan favorites “Byrd Dog” and “Gypsy Jane.” The video for “Gypsy Jane” will get a big-screen premiere at the Aug. 3 Rhythm & Brews concert.

New York based director Tomas Donoso, who worked on the “Byrd Dog” video, returned to Chattanooga for the 12-day shoot.

“For the ‘Gypsy Jane’ video, we put together a story board, including a twist at the end,” says Maselle. “We used lots of different locations and did the whole thing with one camera and two lights, which is really hard. Lacy Dickerson from Zanzibar studio does belly dancing in the video and plays a heartbreaker who leaves her fiancé to run off with my character. Then her fiancé transforms into a horse-man beast and chases us.”

Enthusiastic fan response inspires the band to keep the new music and videos coming.

“We have the absolute best fans on earth,” continues Maselle, adding that another video will be shot in September. “Our fans always show up, and anytime we want people to interact or be involved they are gung-ho about it. We love it. We’re putting out material as fast as we can make it because everybody has been accepting it so well. It started with the ‘Byrd Dog’ video, which scored 1,000 unique views in the first 24 hours.

We were blown away, and from then on the response has been so good that it keeps us going. It keeps me motivated.”

Though Maselle is a longtime musician, Strung Like A Horse is his first band. He traded his mandolin for a guitar when the group formed about two years ago. Maselle and Crawford, the only other original member, bonded »P10

local and regional shows

Erisa Rei with As Girls Go ($3)

Thu, July 26

9pm

Bear wipes Ass with Rabbit and DJ Spaz ($3)

Wed, Aug 1

9pm

AFRO with Smooth Dialects ($3)

Thu, Aug 2

9pm

Marbin with Telemonster and Kyle Adem ($3)

Wed, Aug 8

9pm

Free Irish Music • Sundays at 7pm Sun, July 29: Molly Maguires

8 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

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Strung Like A Horse in a clip from their new video, “Gypsy Jane.”

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over a shared love of the band Split Lip Rayfield, which naturally turned out to be a major influence in their collaboration.

Originally formed with a focus on bluegrass and old-time music, the band’s sound has evolved significantly since the beginning.

“We decided to take a different angle because when I started writing songs everything came out darker than all that old country,” explains Maselle. “So we started turning toward punk rock sounding stuff. Ben developed his own banjo picking style—he does the threefinger style, but not traditional rolls— and it worked really well. Today, the songs come from all different places.

BJ wrote ‘Gypsy Jane’ a while back, and we decided to put it on the new EP. And Ben is really good at coming up with banjo parts that we like and then we develop a song around that.”

As for Maselle’s lyrics, he says songwriter John Hartford is his single biggest influence.

“Even though most of the songs seem

h “Some people have coined it ‘garage grass,’ which fits really well because it is bluegrass instruments, but we’re like a garage band because the sound is a little trashy and dirty.”

—Clay Maselle to be dark and have death in them, I’m not a dark person,” he assures. “Maybe it has something to do with growing up in Mississippi and listening to the blues a lot.”

The Flowood, Miss. native settled in Chattanooga after a post-college road trip which included the Scenic City as the final stop.

Strung Like A Horse’s current lineup of members came together about a year ago. Since then the guys have scored some major gigs, including a slot at Bonnaroo 2012, where Fuse TV saluted them as “Best Band Name at Bonnaroo.” In February, they opened for bluegrass stalwart Sam Bush at Track 29,

and in hindsight Maselle laughs about accidentally introducing him as “Sam Like A Bush.” Strung Like A Horse also played in Atlanta at the wrap parties for the major motion pictures “American Reunion” and “What To Expect When You’re Expecting.” After concluding a recent east coast run, the band is booked in coming months for west coast dates including Texas and Colorado.

The band’s high-energy performances have contributed mightily to its growing popularity, according to Maselle.

“Our shows have more head banging and jumping up and down than you would normally see at a punk show,” he

says. “I think a lot of people come to our shows just to see BJ because he is such an eccentric character onstage. He will ride his bass, hang it from the rafters, or play upside down. He is a madman when it comes to upright bass.”

Maselle also attributes Strung Like A Horse’s success to community support, and thanks Chattanooga Presents and McKay’s for giving a local band the opportunity to headline Nightfall.

“In the four years since I moved here the music scene has grown and grown,” says Maselle. “I don’t even think it’s that there are a lot more musicians involved, but all these people who go see live music are more motivated to go see it now.

It’s like everybody is finding out about this music scene that has probably been here for a long time, and word spread so well that everybody is getting involved and it’s getting bigger. I really think that someone can make it in music from here. It’s like being a big fish in a little sea—here you can build it and people are paying attention. You don’t have to be famous for people to listen.”

Wednesday, august 22 EmErGING DESIGNEr SHOWCASE

CHATTANOOGA FASHION WEEK AUGUST 22-25

thursday, august 23 rOCK THE rUNWAy HAIr SHOW AND ACCESSOrIES SHOWCASE Friday, august 24 THE SWImWEAr COllECTION AND THE mEN’S SHOW saturday, august 25 THE GrAND FINAlE FEATUrING THE SOUTH’S FINEST DESIGNErS

WWW.ChattanOOgaFashiOnWeeK.COM FOr SPONSOr, DESIGNEr & VENDOr OPPOrTUNITIES CAll 865-680-7727 10 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Is it prideful to boast our largest inventory...ever?

2012 Audi A4

2012 Audi A5 Cabriolet Bax Walker displays an autographed photo of Johnny Cash, one of many pieces of memorabilia he and his wife, Velvet have collected over the years and are now selling.

they bolted the cab of an old yellow International semi to the wall and replaced the dashboard with sound and light controls and Velvet became the show’s producer.

“You know some places around town, you pay them $700 or $800 dollars to throw a party and what do you get? An empty room. Maybe some tables and chairs, but an empty room,” Bax said. “We had an experience here that people really, really enjoyed. We set it up, we had the Elvis costumes and the music, but the entertainment always came from the crowd.”

They hooked up five TVs to display karaoke lyrics and always recruited at least one Elvis and few Soggy Bottom Boys, who you could swear had been sitting right next to you in the audience.

For the past decade and a half, the Walkers have thrown more than 600 parties in The Warehouse so they could show people a good time and share their collection. According to Velvet, they “never advertised. Not in the newspapers, or ads or even listed it in the phonebook.” The business grew strictly by word of mouth.

A natural storyteller and performer, it’s not hard to imagine Bax up there on stage with the multi-colored lights shining, microphone in hand, beckoning to the crowd and calling people up with him underneath his framed “Casablanca” movie posters and autographed guitars.

But as I sit and talk to Bax, Velvet glides around the warehouse cleaning and sorting (and occasionally correcting the de-

tails of Bax’s stories) as the two get ready for the next stage of their life.

I could have imagined a rare hesitation in his answer when I asked if he was going to miss the parties, not to mention the collection. “No,” he said as he gazed up at the Hollywood sign next to the marquee.

“No big deal. It’s just another page in our life. We just move from one happy thing to another one.”

So far they’ve had one auction where they put up only their musical instruments for sale, many of which were autographed. They sold more than 200. The Warehouse is still packed to the brim.

When I asked Bax what he thought all this stuff was worth he simply shook his head. “It doesn’t matter” he said, “They gave me a spreadsheet for all the instruments we sold, but it doesn’t really matter.

That’s not what we’re all about. We never bought one piece of this collection thinking about what we could get for it.”

They’re going to keep all the old photographs and the “cowboy stuff” (Bax’s favorite) but other than that, everything must go. “Someone informed me I was in the autumn of my life so if we wanted to travel, we better get on it,” he said. “So we’re gonna get on it.”

And that’s the thing about Bax and Velvet, when they get something in their heads, they do it.

To view more of the Walker’s collection, see this story online at chattanoogapulse. com.

2012 Audi A6

2012 Audi Q5

If Audi makes it, we probably have it. And probably more than one. We are sitting on the largest Audi inventory in our history.

Audi C H AT TA N O O G A

6001 International Drive

(423) 855-4981 audichattanooga.com

chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 11

O THEO INDIGO GIRLS ONE NIGHT ONLY!

with the Chattanooga Symphony

SATURDAY • JULY 28 • 8PM

tiVoLi theatRe TickeTs sTarT aT $35

available at www.chattanoogasymphony.org or 423.267.8583 12 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

LIST

THE CALENDAR

july 26-Aug. 1

NIGHTFALL VAN HUNT

WITH rick rushing & the blues strangers • Hunt is a distinctive and original talent who melds of R&B, neo-soul, funk, pop, and rock ‘n’ roll. Rushing is the perfect opening act.

FRI 07.27 • 7 p.m.

Miller Plaza Downtown Chattanooga nightfallchattanooga.com

» pulse PICKS

» pulse pick OF THE LITTER

THU07.26

South Rail Showcase T

MUSIC The Bohannons • The Bohannons take the R&B stage with a new album that is sure to please.

10 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews • 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

EVENT Blue Man Group • A visual spectacle of extraordinary theatrical and musical entertainment.

8 p.m. • Memorial Auditorium 399 McCallie Ave. • (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com

FRI07.27 MUSIC Dave Walters Trio • One of Chattanooga’s brightest jazz ensembles.

8:30 p.m. • The Foundry The Chattanoogan Hotel • 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 • chattanooganhotel.com

EVENT Southside Art Stroll • Stroll galleries and listen to new-grass music from Thenderfin.

6 p.m. • Mean Mug • 114 W. Main St. (423) 825-4206212• market.com

SAT07.28 MUSIC Cutthroat Shamrock • Cutting-edge Irish punk.

8 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. • (423) 266-1400

EVENT Gary Conrad: Master Hypnotist • Nationally known hypnotist and comedian.

5:30 & 8 p.m. • The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Road • (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

he Chattanoogabased music blog The South Rail has partnered with Track 29 for a series of shows that brings together a variety of sounds that have been curated by The South Rail’s intelligent and thorough knowledge the current live-music landscape.

From locals Eight Knives to the collaborative group Fly Golden Eagle (pictured), who will take the stage with new material from their

psych-rock to roots-rock.

This showcase is a promising start to the collaborative series.

latest release Swagger, this showcase has the diversity and promise of exposing its audience to something new. Each of the bands have interesting pedigree, with members producing equally interesting material from

The South Rail Presents: Fly Golden Eagle, Banditos, Clear Plastic Masks and Eight Knives 8 p.m.

Friday, July 27 Track 29 1400 Market St. (423) 558-0029 track29.co

Avant-art Southside Studio Stroll

J

oin the Hunter Museum’s Avant-art group on Wednesday, Aug. 1, for the Southside Studio Stroll, a gallery and studio tour followed by dinner at El Mercado, Chattanooga’s new pop-up restaurant.

The tour makes its way from the Front Gallery to Chenoweth- Halligan Studio and Haskel-Sears Design Studio. Wine, beer and light hors d’oeuvres will be served during the gallery tour.

Following the stroll,

head over to El Mercado, a pop-up restaurant in the Loose Cannon Gallery, to experience its brand of Latin cuisine. There will be a group reservation for dinner and the restaurant is BYOB. Avant-art is a Hunter Museum membership interest group made up of young-minded contemporaries who bridge Chattanooga’s vibrant art and social scenes and make the arts accessible to the community through a lively mix of social events.

home game

SCHEDULE Wed, July 25 • 11:15 PM vs. Birmingham Barons

Thu, July 26 • 7:15 PM Health Night

vs. Barons

Fri, July 27 • 7:15 PM Fireworks!

vs. Barons

Sat, July 28 • 7:15 PM Breakin’ B’Boy McCoy

vs. Barons

Fri, Aug 3 • 7:15 PM Fireworks!

vs. Braves

Members of enjoy access to Hunter events, gallery walks, members-only parties and other events throughout the year.

Avant-art Southside Studio Stroll 6 p.m.: Studio tour 7:30 p.m.: Dinner at El Mercado Wednesday, Aug. 1 Tour: $5 for members, $7 for non-members (dinner not included) Reservations: (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 13

Between the Sleeves record reviews • ernie paik

Books. Lots of books. And more.

We buy, sell and trade.

Used Books, CDs, Movies, & More

7734 Lee Highway • McKayBooks.com Monday-Saturday 9am-10pm • Sunday 11am-7pm

Come on over, delicious is just around the corner Friday Pasta on special every weekend

1/2 price bottles of wine every Wednesday and Sunday this summer

the washington, d.c.-area quartet black tambourine has already proved everything it needed to prove, and it did so by releasing just a handful of tracks back in the early ’90s, mainly on two seven-inch singles. The group—Slumberland Records co-founder Mike Schulman, Velocity Girl members Archie Moore and Brian Nelson, and Chickfactor indie-pop zine co-founder Pam Berry—had a keenly defined aesthetic in line with The Jesus and Mary Chain’s Psychocandy, marrying ’60s-influenced pop with intense, overwhelming sheets of noisy, distortion-drenched guitar chords, booming drumbeats and cymbal crashes on a strippeddown kit, and upper-register bass notes played compellingly, going beyond just mirroring chords changes. Although small, the band’s catalog is nearly perfect, first compiled on the 10-song, 1999 reBlack lease Complete Recordings. After reuniting in 2009, the members Tambourine released the outstanding collection Black Tambourine, appending OneTwoThreetwo demo tracks and four new songs, including spirited covers of Four Buddy Holly’s “Heartbeat” and Suicide’s “Dream Baby Dream.”

(Slumberland) With nothing left to prove, Black Tambourine presents what might seem like a trifle: a four-song EP, available as two seven-inch singles or a digital download, consisting entirely of Ramones covers, entitled OneTwoThreeFour.

“I Want You Around” uses the classic, overdriven Black Tambourine sound with channeled chaos within a pop structure, and halfway through, some ’60s pop influences—The Byrds and Love come to mind—feature in a guitar interlude. On “What’s Your Game,” Berry’s sweet vocals are enhanced by backing singers “The ’Rinettes,” consisting of Rose Melberg (of Tiger Trap and the Softies), underrated four-track home taper Linda Smith, Dee Dee (of Dum Dum Girls), and Honeymoon Diary’s Jenny Robbins. “I Remember You” is a stomper, with an alternating regular/irregular drumming urgency, and “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend” is the EP’s most reserved track, with an underlying tension, featuring a complicated tenderness and chimpy, gliding electronic notes from a Stylophone. On OneTwoThreeFour, the band throws itself at the project with complete enthusiasm, and the result is pure, unadulterated, noisy joy. more than 20 years ago, the british dance-pop band saint etienne sang songs like “Nothing Can Stop Us” with a youthful invulnerability on its debut album, Foxbase Alpha, before growing up and contemplating domesticity on the 2005 album, Tales from Turnpike House, mentioning “old 45s gathering dust” in “Teenage Winter.” Seven years after its predecessor, the new proper full-length album Words And Music finds the band even more nostalgic, expounding on its lifetime love affair with music. On the opening track “Over the Border,” with a combination of spoken and sung words, lead vocalist Sarah Cracknell discusses mixtape love tokens, music magazines, record labels and meaningful bonding; growing older, she ponders, “When I was married, when I had kids, would Marc Bolan still be so important?”

Saint Etienne Pleasure can take the form of either real-time experiences or Words And Music memories, and although there’s a fair amount of synthy, dance-ori(Heavenly) ented tracks here, wistful reflection rather than action is inspired in its nostalgia, not bending toward trends (with the exception of a few Autotune vocals effects); rather, it stays true to the dance-pop style the group helped to shape, even evoking previous songs like “Sylvie” on “Heading for the Fair,” with its driving piano syncopation and spirit. While the tracks seem sturdy and melodic enough, a spark of excitement doesn’t present itself as much as it should, and the album feels like an epilogue rather than a climax. “Haunted Jukebox,” one of the better numbers, closes the album with a pert delivery that belies its melancholy, even tormented ruminations, inspired again by “fine 45s you found.” It’s a Saint Etienne that seems content to stay at home and listen to records instead of hitting the clubs with youthful abandon, and with this new album, a search for meaning overshadows the search for enjoyment. With Words And Music, changes are brought to the surface—not particularly with Saint Etienne, but within the listener.

Read more of Ernie Paik’s reviews online at chattanoogapulse.com.

423 Market Street (423) 779-3100 tazikiscafe.com 14 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Party at the richard winham

Blue Man Group: Odd Men Out described as “a combination of theatre, vaudeville, rock concert, science, technology and crazy multimedia dance concert all wrapped up together,” Blue Man Group is headed for the Memorial Auditorium on Thursday (July 26). The show, featuring three blue-hued child-men, has gained an international reputation for its techno-driven visual, physical and aural assault. (Ear plugs, as well as protective rain gear for those in the first few rows, are provided.)

The three players—it’s always been three to allow for an odd man out within the group— are Laurel and Hardy as a trio. Two take turns playing Hardy to the third man’s hapless Laurel—out of synch and a beat behind. Not a word is spoken throughout the show; there’s no need. Their body language, eyes—magnified on a massive video backdrop—and synth-driven percussion fill in the details.

Standing in front of a huge percussion-triggered synthesizer, the three principals spend much of the show hammering out three-part tattoos, backed by a four-piece band behind the curtain. Their objective is to puncture the pomp and pretension of an arena rock show, but like all parodists they’re always in danger of becoming what they set out to lampoon. Yet judging from the innumerable You Tube excerpts of their shows (including the current one which is, according to Blue Man Kirk Massey, almost 50 percent new material) their anonymity has freed them from temptations such as selfindulgent rock-star-style posturing even as much of their show sets the stage for it.

The essential conceit of the show is that each member of the Smurf-skinned trio is an impressionable alien looking for a way to fit in. Each one is

Everyman perplexed by the dizzying pace of technologically driven change. In their current show, the three face an enormous touch screen.

Like exploring children they enter the screen, but before they do one Blue Man’s eyes are projected onto the backdrop watching and reacting to his colleague’s confusion. It’s one example of how often they blur the line between watcher and watched, audience and players, throughout the show.

“The Blue Men shows don’t have the traditional fourth wall,” said Massey. “They’re trying to connect with the audience that’s there that night.”

By not uttering a word

they’re able to project their reactions without having to explain them. Their reactions are almost always mystification. According to Massey, the Blue Men behave as we all do when confronted with a culture and language we don’t understand. For them, he said, “It’s exploring how different cultures communicate with each other.”

From its inception in New York City in the 1990s, the show’s central thesis has been alienation stemming from information overload. But rather than feeling over-informed, most Americans now—like the hapless third Blue Man—

feel left out of the loop without information (literally) at their fingertips. In the current show, the Blue Man Group’s attitude toward technology has changed. They are no longer outside the technology looking in, but are inside giant “gi-pads” looking out.

Although that subtext remains in the script it is, as more than one critic has complained, largely subsumed within the aural and visual slapstick of the performance.

The three actors expend enormous energy in the 90 minutes they’re on stage. There’s no intermission, the audience has little time to think; they can only react to the seamless

concatenation of Vaudevillestyle visual gags paced by the racing percussion-driven rock and dance music.

However, at some point in the show a member of the audience is invited onto the stage as a foil for the fun-loving trio. As an emissary from the “real” world, they must feel something akin to Margaret Dumont’s perplexed reactions to Groucho, Chico and Harpo in all those films in which she played their unfortunate foil.

But their audience is too sophisticated to be gulled into representing the stilted world of rational adults—and so it’s often the Blue Men who are the victims. The show is timed and tightened to the second, but when one opens the door and lets in the outside world their tightly scripted world collapses.

“Once you dive into that you really have no idea what these people are going to do, so you end up making it up as you go from that point,” said Kirk.

The show is a mash-up of relentless percussive energy of “Stomp” and Gallagher’s messy slapstick schtick with an overlay of weird science.

The antic energy and laugh out loud silliness of Blue Man Group plays well with the kid in every one of us.

Blue Man Group 8 p.m.

Thursday, July 26 Memorial Auditorium 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com

Richard Winham is the host and producer of WUTC-FM’s afternoon music program and has observed the Chattanooga music scene for more than 25 years.

All Week Long!

Mon & tue LIVE DJ

Wii on the Big Screen wednesdays

Jonathan Wimpee Jam Session thursdays LOCAL LEGENDS

HOUSE PARTY WITH 5 DJS

WEEKEND

PARTY ZONE!

FRI $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH

STOKESWOOD sat $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH

STOKESWOOD Party on Two Floors!

1st Floor: Live Music • 2nd Floor: Dancing

Raw Sushi Bar

Restaurant & Nightclub 409 Market Street •423.756.1919

chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 15

16 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 17

0 0 .

5 $ S Y FrIDA N

O I T I B I PROH

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ENJOY COOL COCKTAILS

ON ThE PATIO mITh’S BLACK S B &B ISTrO

Club Captains

SECOND IN A SERIES

The Kinsey Report

By Richard Winham why did chattanooga have to wait so long for Track 29? The much-vaunted venue in the former ice skating rink behind the Choo Choo finally opened for its first show in September 2011. Conventional wisdom had long held that Chattanooga music fans take their own sweet time to buy tickets, a proclivity giving already antsy promoters palpitations whenever they brought an act to town.

Fans of the Avett Brothers and Jack White don’t want to sit and clap politely at the end of each song.

They want to dance and drink a beer. Adam Kinsey obliged with Track 29, his venue in the former skating rink at the Choo Choo.

Ar

now SErVing brEAkFASt! nEw HourS!

mon-SAt: 7Am-10Pm SundAY: 11Am-10Pm comE For bruncH! 3914 St. Elmo AVE. (423) 702-5461

Find uS on FAcEbook blacksmithstelmo.com 18 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

The Club

• Club Captains is an occasional series that highlights the people behind Chattanooga’s live music scene.

But when Chattanooga music fans are given the opportunity to see someone they really care about, watch out.

In the past few months four shows have sold out at Track 29 within seconds. Within 29 seconds all of the tickets for Jack White’s first headlining show scheduled in March were taken. Shows featuring Jars Of Clay, Need To Breathe and the Avett Brothers sold out just as fast.

Before Adam Kinsey and Josh McManus opened Track 29, Chattanooga didn’t have a hall suitable for any of those acts. The Tivoli Theatre can hold about the same number of people as Track 29; the Memorial Auditorium seats considerably more. But, as Kinsey sees it, fans of the Avett Brothers and Jack White don’t want to sit and clap politely at the end of each song. They want to dance and drink a beer.

“All of our shows have been extremely energetic,” he says.

“We always hear from bands and the tour managers that it’s one of the best crowds

they’ve had in years.”

When McManus and Kinsey conceived Track 29, they were thinking in terms of a big club; a place that could hold 1,000 people comfortably. Any less and the majority of the bands they are now booking would have continued to look elsewhere. They looked at 14 different locations before settling on the

Adam and Monica Kinsey photographed at Track 29

by Jason Dunn.

Bistro BrEakFast!

7-10:45am Bistro lUNch

Photo • Jo McCaughey

22,000-square-foot former skating rink behind the Choo Choo.

It was bigger than they had planned, but it had the infrastructure they needed and it was downtown. They wanted a downtown address preferably within easy reach of the highway. From the outset they assumed that people from Atlanta, Nashville, Knoxville and even Birmingham would willingly drive to Chattanooga if the acts that interested them were here.

According to Kinsey, who now runs Track 29 with his wife, Monica, since McManus left to take a job in Detroit, that’s exactly what has happened. Fans from all over the area have been buying tickets, including two young women who drove all the way from Oklahoma—without tickets—to see the young Christian band Need to Breathe a couple of months ago. The band had been playing arenas opening for Taylor Swift.

Jack White at Track 29 on March 10. The concert sold out in seconds.

This was a chance to see them headline in a relatively small hall. So the two fans drove all night and talked their way into the show in exchange for milkshakes for the band.

They‘re not alone. Many fans are willing to make a long drive to see their favorite bands in an intimate setting.

Although the long, rectangular building is about twice the size of the club they had envisioned, they can make the room bigger or smaller by moving the stage back and forth. Track 29 can be anything from an intimate 500seat club to a hall big enough for 1700 people. Blackout curtains behind the stage ensure that for the fans the room always feels full and that the musicians see a sold-out crowd. It may well prove to be the key to their success.

Aside from the enthusiastic

audiences, the musicians are happy because they’re given a comfortable place to relax backstage. The green room not only offers washers and dryers, but a shower. Some musicians have taken as many as three showers, says Kinsey. After several weeks in the back of a van can you blame them?

But perhaps their smartest move was making a deal with A.C. Entertainment in Knoxville to help with the booking.

A.C. is the company behind Bonnaroo. They also book musical acts into The Bijou and the Tennessee Theatre in Knoxville and The Orange Peel in North Carolina. That gives them an edge on any competitor.

“They can make it worthwhile for agents,” Kinsey explains. “They can say, ‘Look, with one deal I can put you in five venues, and then we can move on.’ So, yes, that definitely helps.” It gives Track 29 access to acts that would oth-

erwise be out of their reach, and because of A.C.’s negotiating muscle they can keep tickets prices to a minimum.

Nearing its first anniversary, Track 29 has so far exceeded initial projections.

They expected to lose money in the first year, but according to Kinsey, “We didn’t lose nearly as much as we thought we would. In the first four months we had 19,000 people in our door—if you annualize that, you’re looking at 80,000 people.”

7

$ 11am 3pm

1/4 BUrGEr comBo chips & driNk

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Find uS on FAcEbook blacksmithstelmo.com chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 19

CHATTANOOGA LIVE Thu 07.26 All American Summer featuring Jennifer Daniels 6:30 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Audi Burchett 7:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Nim Nims, Local Villians 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Blue Man Group 8 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156 Erisa Rei with As Girls Go 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com.

The Bohannons with Two Cow Garage 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

Wednesday • July 25 Cumberland Collective featuring Noah Collins

Friday • July 27

Ashely and the X’s Villian Family Amber Fults

Saturday • July 28 Diarrhea Planet Grass Giraffes Whoremones Chrome Pony

Sunday • July 29

Cutthroat Shamrock

Monday • July 30 Shashbuckle Unspoken Triumph

Tuesday • July 31

Guilty Pleasures Dance Party

LIVE MUSIC

fri 07.27

CHATTANOOGA JULY

26 FRI. DRIVIN N CRYIN 10p 27 YACHT ROCK SCHOONER SAT. 10p 28

THE BOHANNONS with TWO COW GARAGE

THU. 10p

with BRENT COBB

“That 70’s Show” — All The Hits!

AUG

RANDY ROGERS BAND Loads of Grit, Swagger & Heart

THU. 8p

STRUNG LIKE A HORSE with ANOTHER ROADSIDE ATTRACTION

FRI. 10p

2 3

COMING: 8/4: THAT 90’S SHOW 8/8: YARN w/HUMMING HOUSE ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

Van Hunt with Rick Rushing & The Blues Strangers 7 p.m. Nightfall Music Series, River City Stage at Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Queen B & The Well Strung Band 7 p.m. Top of the Dock, 5600 Lake Resort Terr. topofthedock.net Kolby Towe 8 p.m. Meo Mio’s Cajun & Seafood Restaurant, 4119 Cummings Hwy. (423) 521-7160 meomios.com The South Rail Presents: Fly Golden Eagle, Clear Plastic Masks, Banditos, Eight Knives 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323 track29.co

20 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

THE BOHANNONS • Hard-working Chattanooga favorites rock Rhythm & Brews with songs from their new album.

THU 07.26 • 10 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews • 221 Market St. • rhythm-brews.com

Bluegrass Night featuring Slim Pickens 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Ashley and the X’s, Villian Family, Amber Fults 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Dave Walters Trio 8:30 p.m. The Foundry (at the Chattanoogan Hotel), 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 chattanooganhotel.com Mark Holder 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Still Runnin 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs,

507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Stokeswood 10 p.m. Raw Sushi Bar, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 Drivin’ n Cryin’ with Brent Cobb 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Bounty Hunter 10 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533 skyzoochattanooga.com Bud Lightning 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com

sat 07.28 Ogya Trio 10 a.m. Chattanooga Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224 ridetheincline.com Julie Gribble 12:30 p.m. River Market at Aquarium Plaza, W. Aquarium Way (423) 648-2496 Queen B & The Well Strung Band 7 p.m. Top of the Dock, 5600 Lake Resort Terr. topofthedock.net Y&C Experience with Rick Rushing & The Blues Strangers 8 p.m. Meo Mio’s Cajun & Seafood Restaurant, 4119 Cummings Hwy.

Danimal Pinson 10 a.m. Urban Spoon, 207 Frazier Ave. (423) 710-3252 Julie Gribble, The Katts, Austin Miller 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market at First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. chattanoogamarket.com.

Molly Maguires 7 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Cutthroat Shamrock 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400

mon 07.30

INDIGO GIRLS • Emily Saliers and Amy Ray perform with the Chattanooga Symphony on the last stop of their current tour.

SAT 07.28 • 8 p.m. • Tivoli Theatre • 709 Broad St. • (423) 757-5050 • chattanoogasymphony.org

(423) 521-7160 meomios.com Indigo Girls with The CSO 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 642-TIXS chattanoogaonstage.com The Creative Underground Presents: Eclectic 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Brody Johnson & The Dirt Road Band 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com Malcome Holcombe 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Road (423) 892-4960 christunity.org/events Diarrhea Planet, Grass Giraffes, Whoremones,

Chrome Pony 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Ryan Oyer Band with Megan Howard (Release Show) 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Dave Walters Trio 8:30 p.m. The Foundry (at the Chattanoogan Hotel), 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 chattanooganhotel.com Josh Ritter 9 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323 track29.co Jenny Clower 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Standing Room Only 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs,

507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Stokeswood 10 p.m. Raw Sushi Bar, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 Chad Yates 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 tboneschattanooga.com Yacht Rock Schooner 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com One Night Stand 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com Bounty Hunter 10 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533 skyzoochattanooga.com

sun 07.29

Robin Of The Forest 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Shashbuckle, Unspoken Triumph, A Day of the Beast 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

Thursday, July 26: 9pm Open Mic with Mark Holder

Friday, July 27: 9pm Mark Holder

Saturday, July 28: 9pm Jenny Clower

Tuesday, July 31: 7pm Server Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Facebook.com/theofficechatt

tue 07.31 Songs & Stories featuring John Truitt & Noah Collins 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Guilty Pleasures Dance Party 8:00 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400

wed 08.01 Bear wipes Ass with Rabbit and DJ Spaz 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

NEW LOCATION! 809 MARKET ST. SAME GREAT SERVICE & STAFF! NEW ATMOSPHERE! NEW MENU!

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chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 21

The road to stardom starts here.

America’s Largest Country Music Talent Show $100,000 Grand Prize Preliminary Show July 31 • 6:30pm • Meo Mio’s 4119 Cummings Hwy.

More information at CatCountry953.com 22 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

ACE

ARTS•CULTURE•ENTERTAINMENT

Reimagine, React, Repeat

By Rich Bailey there’s something magical about an urban design vision. A drawing or 3-D model that’s not that different from any artist’s work, except that it might reshape real city blocks. That’s the way it is with every human-made thing, of course. They all started out in someone’s imagination. But there’s something about a city that seems to defy the idea of design.

Lately, public urban design has been making a comeback through RiverCity Company’s Urban Design Challenge, in which teams of architects and planners created speculative visions for key places in downtown Chattanooga.

A new exhibit opening July 31 shows off urban design visions, built and unbuilt, from Chattanooga’s Urban Design Studio—the ancestor of the Urban Design Challenge and source of most of the design thinking—that have reshaped downtown since 1980. The Design Studio Retrospective shows selected images from a comprehensive archive of the Design Studio’s body of work from 1980-2005, including plans, drawings and 3-D models by students, staff and some of the nation’s top design professionals. The exhibit is located at 831 Chestnut St. and will be on display until Nov. 1.

“The purpose of the archive is to make sure that all those civic visions and ideas that were created in the Studio and out in the community are kept alive, kept safe in a place people can continue to revisit them,” said Christian Rushing, who worked at the Urban Design Studio as both an architecture student and later as an urban design professional.

Rushing created the archive and retrospective through a grant from the Lyndhurst Foundation, Benwood Foun-

The retrospective shows off urban design visions, built and unbuilt, that have reshaped downtown since 1980. dation and RiverCity Company, as well as the Watson Fund, created in the name of Stroud Watson, who led the Urban Design Studio.

“I think the Urban Design Challenge has highlighted the thirst of the citizenry for visioning work and for architecture and urban design work to have a chance to react and to be engaged with future of the city,” said Rushing. “The work the Design Studio did was the progenitor of the Urban Design Challenge. For 20-plus years, they put forth visions for what downtown could possibly become, allowed the city to react to that and engaged in conversations about what we could be.”

The Urban Design Studio began as an outgrowth of the University of Tennessee School of Architecture. A hands-on “design studio” is a typical element of an architectural education. But according to Rushing, the model Stroud

Watson created as a partnership between UT and the Lyndhurst Foundation was intended from the beginning to bring the talents of architecture students to bear on real issues of the day.

“The work those students were doing benefited the community. It helped establish our civic vision and get engaged people in urban design. No one knew what urban design was in the ’80s. It was a foreign concept. Over time, Stroud was hired by Mayor Gene Roberts to be the urban design consultant to the mayor’s office.”

Beyond that, River City Company and later the citycounty Regional Planning Agency joined the partnership and added staff members.

Throughout the Design Studio’s history, some the best urban design firms in the nation were also brought in by the Design Studio to re-envision pieces of Chattanooga’s downtown.

The Design Studio Retrospective walks viewers through key downtown areas, including the Miller Plaza District, the Tennessee Aquarium and Plaza, the Southside and the 21st Century Waterfront.

There are dozens of images, several tabletop models, video screens and an interactive database that holds many more images and documents.

Even hardcore fans of downtown Chattanooga probably haven’t seen many of these alternative versions of the city: aquarium variations next to several versions of a bay or inlet cut far into the riverbank, a different bridge linking the arts district and Ross’s Landing, a Renaissance Park that’s much larger and lined with new buildings, a half dozen

“

friday 9:30 • saturday 10:30

No one knew what urban design was in the ’80s. It was a foreign concept.

Christian Rushing Urban designer and archivist of the Design Studio Retrospective

variations on the blocks surrounding Miller Plaza, and many more.

Viewing all these variations of familiar downtown places is a little like looking at that famous sequential drawing of the ascent of man from ape to Neanderthal to Cro Magnon to modern man. It is possible to see how an idea grew over time into what was finally built. But this exhibit also shows vividly that there was never any overall “ascent of downtown Chattanooga” progression. Instead, it’s clear that Chattanooga’s urban design grew through a profusion of different ideas.

All these alternative drawings and models are not rejected drafts that might be mildly interesting historical footnotes. They are the remaining traces of controlled explosions of urban design, bursts of new thinking that were initiated and managed by the Urban Design Studio. And this profusion of visions—many created as a way of envisioning a new future and without any clear path to construction— was not a side effect. This was the working method for recreating downtown Chattanooga: Reimagine, react, repeat.

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chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 23

Arts & Entertainment

CALENDAR

Thu 07.26 Street Food Thursdays 11 a.m. Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St. warehouserow.net Birds of Prey 11 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn., Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com/birds Five for Five Thursdays at The Foundry 5 p.m. Chattanoogan Hotel, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 266-5000 chattanooganhotel.com Rose Wine Tasting 6 p.m. Back Inn Café, 412 East 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com All American Summer featuring Jennifer Daniels 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org “Anything Goes” 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Open Mic 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Chattanooga Lookouts 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Gary Conrad: Master Hypnotist 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Blue Man Group 8 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com

fri 07.27 Fresh on Fridays

24 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

GARY CONRAD: MASTER HYPNOTIST • Conrad has amazed audiences from Alaska to Florida with his hypnotism shows.

07.26-29 • The Comedy Catch • 3224 Brainerd Road • (423)629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

11 a.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700 rivercitycompany.com Southside Art Stroll 5 p.m. Southside Arts District (423) 475-5533 facebook.com/

SouthsideArtStroll Georgia Winery Ladies Night Out 6 p.m. Georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy.

Ringgold, Ga. (706) 937-WINE georgiawines.com

Sake Tasting 6 p.m. 212 Market Restaurant, 212 Market St. (423) 265-1212 212market.com Nightfall Concert Series 7 p.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 265-0771 nightfallchattanooga.com Chattanooga Lookouts 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com “Aladdin” 7:30 p.m. The Colonnade, 264 Catoosa Circle, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 935-9000 colonnadecenter.org Gary Conrad: Master Hypnotist 7:30 & 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Anything Goes” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com “The Music Man” 8 p.m. Signal Mountain Playhouse, 301 Rolling Way, Signal Mountain smph.org Ruby Falls Lantern Tours 8:30 p.m. Ruby Falls,

BLUE MAN GROUP • The theatrical group’s national tour includes both elements from their current performances, plus new elements created just for this tour.

THU 07.26 • Memorial Auditorium • 399 McCallie Ave. • (423) 757-5156 chattanoogaonstage.com

1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544 rubyfalls.com Tim Plunik 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com Late Night Hoops!

10 p.m. Howard High School, 2500 South Market St. (423) 643-6055 chattanoogahasfun.com

sat 07.28 River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960 chattanoogamarket.com Summer Music Weekends Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn., Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Honey Harvest Noon. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Q ‘n’ Brew at the Zoo 5:30 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322 chattzoo.org Chattanooga Lookouts 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com “Aladdin” 7:30 p.m. The Colonnade, 264 Catoosa Circle, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 935-9000 colonnadecenter.org Gary Conrad: Master Hypnotist 7:30 & 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Audubon Acres Owl Prowl 8 p.m. Audubon Acres, 900 N. Sanctuary Road chattanoogafun.com “Anything Goes” 8 p.m. Chattanooga

Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com “The Music Man” 8 p.m. Signal Mountain Playhouse, 301 Rolling Way, Signal Mountain smph.org The Indigo Girls with the CSO 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 chattanooga.gov Tim Plunik 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

sun 07.29 Chattanooga Market: Tomato Festival 11 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. (423) 402-9960 chattanoogamarket.com Champagne Sunday Brunch 11 a.m. Chattanoogan Hotel, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 266-5000 chattanooganhotel.com Summer Music Weekends Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn., Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Honey Harvest Noon. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org “Anything Goes” 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com Gary Conrad: Master Hypnotist 5:30 & 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

(423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com Wine Down Wednesday 5 p.m. Broad Street Grille, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3700 chattanooganhotel.com

Ongoing

TIM PLUTNIK 07.27-28 • Standup comedian performs at the Vaudeville cafe.

9:30 (Friday) & 10:30 p.m.

(Saturday) Vaudeville Cafe 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

mon 07.30 Music Monday 7 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482 pashacoffeehouse.com

tue 07.31 Tuesdays at Tony’s 11 a.m. Tony’s Pasta Shop & Trattoria, 212 High St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com Live Team Trivia 7:30 p.m. Brewhaus, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 531-8490 chattanoogatrivia.com Mouth of the South Stand-up Comedy Contest 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

wed 08.01 Main Street Farmer’s Market 4 p.m. 325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Chattanooga Night Market 5 p.m. Ross’s Landing, Chestnut Street & Riverfront Parkway chattanoogamarket.com Wine Wednesdays 5 p.m. Back Inn Café, 412 East 2nd St.

Sound and Vision: Monumental Rock & Roll Photography (thru Aug. 12) 10 a.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View. (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org Science Demo: Looks Like Magic But… (thru Sept. 10) 10 a.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Songs from the Soul (Thru Aug. 24) 10 a.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org TinkerToys: Build Your Imagination (Thru Sept. 9) 10:10 a.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org AVA All Member Salon Show (thru July 28) 11 a.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-1282 avarts.org Coyee Shipp Langston: “See Through” (July) In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com “Collecting Thoughts” (July) River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send calendar listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 25

Sushi & Biscuits

MIKE MCJUNKIN

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size doesn’t always matter. americans have had it drilled into our heads from the time we were kids that bigger is better and more magical. You’ll never be asked if you want less fries with that; no one is ever impressed with how small your car is; and plastic surgeons aren’t getting rich cutting cartoonishly large body parts down to average size. We believe that if small is good, then huge will be even better, and if I don’t have a big one, how can I possibly compete with my neighbor?

When it comes to cooking, I often hear the complaint that someone’s kitchen is just too small to “really cook” in. The implication being that unless you have been blessed with a nice long countertop and a huge dangling exhaust hood, the best you can do is heat up a can of Spaghetti-O’s or microwave a Hot Pocket. This couldn’t be further from the truth and Mykonos Greek Grill, located at 808 Market St., can show you just how much can be done with a very small space.

Mykonos is one of those little places that hides in plain sight. Tucked into in a tiny space right next to the Miller Plaza stage between Subway and Bleacher Bums, Mykonos serves up heaping portions of some of the best Greek and Middle Eastern food in the city out of a kitchen with all the square footage of an air-

plane bathroom. When you visit, be prepared to eat your lunch at one of the plaza or pavilion tables because Mykonos is take-out only. Also be prepared to watch the inadequacies you feel about your own small kitchen shrink up like a scared turtle as owner Mike Asaba serves 100-plus lunch orders a day off of a small tabletop double burner and tabletop grill.

The food, like the owner, is a mixture of Greek and Middle Eastern with a menu that reflects that blend. For many folks, the differences between Greek and Middle Eastern food are difficult to sort out, especially when it comes to the ubiquitous gyro/schwarma/ doner dish. Although this is a bit of an oversimplification, these are essentially different words to describe the same preparation of meat. Gyro is the Greek word, doner is the

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Dip these little patties of fried goodness in Mykonos’ tzatziki sauce and prepare to become addicted. Baba ghanoush and hummus are both dips or spreads that originated in the Middle East. Baba ghanoush is made with roasted eggplant and has a slightly smoky and nutty flavor, while hummus is a dip made from mashed chickpeas, tahini, lemon and seasonings (tahini is just ground sesame seeds— a bit like peanut butter, but with much less fat and sugar).

What’s not to love about a good bean dip?

Whatever you order at Mykonos you are going to waddle away from the meal with a belly full of comestibles and change left in your pocket. A typical order will easily stuff a three-compartment to-go container with enough food to feed Anne Burrell and her hair. The best part is that you don’t have to dip into the kids’ college fund to pay for it.

Check out Mykonos the next time you’re downtown for lunch and don’t complain about how small your kitchen is. Bigger isn’t necessarily always better.

Visit Mike McJunkin’s Facebook page (Sushi and Biscuits) for updates and recipes.

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Turkish word and schwarma is the Arabic word that is used to describe a similar preparation of spit-roasted and thinly sliced meat. The type of meat used depends on the region. Pork is common in Greece, but you usually won’t find pork doner or schwarma, and lamb, beef and chicken are found in all three regions.

The gyro at Mykonos is thinly sliced lamb that has been prepared and spiced so that the flavor of the lamb is mild yet flavorful thanks to the complimentary aromatics and vegetables it is served with.

The gyro, among other dishes at Mykonos, is served with their signature tzatziki sauce.

Asaba keeps the ingredients secret, but it’s still a traditional yogurt-based sauce that tastes much better than the version served up by the sauces namesake restaurant down the road.

Rather than limit myself to one particular dish I like to get a combination plate with falafel, gyro, baba ghanoush and hummus. Repeat that three times into a mirror and Robert Tilton will appear and lay hands on you.

As a Southerner, it is easy to love falafel and I love Mykonos’ falafel. It’s fried, it’s beans and it’s fun to say—fa-la-ful.

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26 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

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THE PULSE • STATE OF THE ARTS • AUG. 23 • 2012

chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 27

Free Will Astrology LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): The state of Maine has a law that prohibits anyone from leaving an airplane while it is flying. This seems like a reasonable restriction until you realize how badly it discriminates against skydivers. Laws tend to be crude, one-size-fits-all formulations. And as I’m sure you’ve discovered in your travels, onesize-fits-all formulations always squash expressions of individuality. In the coming weeks, be extra alert for pressures to conform to overly broad standards and sweeping generalizations. Rebel if necessary. You have license to be yourself to the tenth power.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I propose that you try to accomplish the following clean-up projects in the next four weeks: 10 bushels of weeds yanked out of your psychic landscape; 25 pounds of unused stuff and moldering junk hauled away from your home; 10 loads of dirty laundry (especially the metaphorical kind) washed free of taint and stains—and not blabbed about on social media; a forgotten fence mended; and a festering wound tended to until it heals.

is looking for a few good Can you craft a compelling 650-word short feature or profile—and a longer, in-depth feature worthy of our cover? If so, let’s talk.

The Pulse is seeking a few good freelance writers to join our stable of news, feature, music and arts writers. We reward our writers with fair pay and a showcase for their skills.

If you’ve got the “write stuff,” we want your voice in The Pulse.

writers

Email samples of your best clips along with a brief bio to: creative@chattanoogapulse.com 28 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Philosopher William Irwin Thompson says that we humans are like flies creeping along the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. We literally cannot see the splendor that surrounds us. As a result, we don’t live in reality. We’re lost in our habitual perceptions and addicted to beliefs that hide the true nature of the universe. The good news is that every now and then, each of us slips into a grace period when it’s possible to experience at least some of the glory we’re normally cut off from. The weeks ahead will be the closest you’ve come to this breakthrough in a long time.

SCORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Can you guess which European country has the best military record in the last eight centuries?

It’s France. Out of the 185 battles its soldiers have engaged in, they’ve won 132 and lost only 43.

Ten times they fought to a draw. Of all the signs of the zodiac, Scorpio, I think you have the best chance of compiling a comparable record in the next 10 months. But please keep in mind what the ancient Chinese military strategist Sun Tzu said in his iconic text “The Art of War”: The smart and powerful warrior always avoids outright conflict if possible, and wins by using slyer means.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): After consulting the astro-

rob brezsny

logical omens, I’ve concluded that during the next three weeks, you will deserve the following titles: 1.

Most Likely to Benefit from Serendipitous Adventures; 2. Most Likely to Exclaim “Aha!”; 3. Most Likely to Have a Wish Come True If This Wish Is Made in the Presence of a Falling Star. You might want to wait to fully embody that last title until the period between Aug. 9 and 14, when the Perseids meteor shower will be gracing the night skies with up to 170 streaks per hour. The peak flow will come on Aug. 12 and 13.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You may have to travel far and wide before you will fully appreciate a familiar resource whose beauty you’re half-blind to. It’s possible you’ll have to suffer a partial loss of faith so as to attract experiences that will make your faith stronger than it ever was. And I’m guessing that you may need to slip outside your comfort zone for a while in order to learn what you need to know next about the arts of intimacy. These are tricky assignments. I suggest you welcome them without resentment.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): My daughter Zoe has been writing some fine poetry these last few years. I regard it as professionalgrade stuff that has been born of natural talent and developed through discipline and hard work.

You might ask, quite reasonably, whether my evaluation of her literary output is skewed by fatherly pride. I’ve considered that possibility. But recently, my opinion got unbiased corroboration when her school awarded her with the “All-College Honor” for her poetry manuscript. I predict you will soon have a comparable experience.

Your views or theories will be confirmed by an independent and objective source.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The critic Dorothy Parker didn’t think highly of Katherine Hepburn’s acting skills. “She runs the emotional gamut from A to B,” said Parker.

I’m hoping you will be Hepburnlike in the coming week, Pisces.

This is not the right time for you to entertain a wide array of slippery, syrupy, succulent feelings.

Nor would it be wise to tease out every last nuance of the beguiling vibes rising up within you. For the time being, you need to explore the pleasures of discerning perception and lucid analysis. Get lost in deep thought, not rampant passion.

ARIES

(March 21-April 19): In

your personal chart, the planet Uranus symbolizes those special talents you have that are especially useful to other people. Which aspects of your soulful beauty are potentially of greatest service to the world? How can you express your uniqueness in ways that activate your most profound generosity? If you learn the answers to these questions, you will make great progress toward solving the riddle that Uranus poses. I’m happy to report that the coming years will provide you with excellent opportunities to get to the bottom of this mystery. And now would be a good time to launch a concerted effort.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In the coming weeks, I’m afraid there’s only a very small chance that you’ll be able to turn invisible at will, shapeshift into an animal form and back, or swipe the nectar of immortality from the gods.

The odds of success are much higher, though, if you will attempt less ambitious tasks that are still pretty frisky and brazen. For example, you could germinate a potential masterpiece where nothing has ever grown. And you could magically transform a longstuck process that no one thought would ever get unstuck.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Are there are any weaknesses or problems in your approach to communication? They will be exposed in the coming weeks. If you’re even slightly lazy or devious about expressing yourself, you will have to deal with the karmic consequences of that shortcoming. If there’s more manipulativeness than love in your quest for connection, you’ll be compelled to do some soul-searching. The good news is that you will have far more power than usual to upgrade the way you exchange energy with others. In fact, this could be the time you enter into a golden age of communication.

CANCER

(June 21-July 22): If you narrow your focus now, the world will really open up for you in the second half of October and November. To the degree that you impose limitations on your desire to forever flow in all directions, you will free up creative ideas that are currently buried. So summon up some tough-minded discipline, please. Refuse to let your moodiness play havoc with your productivity. Dip into your reserve supply of high-octane ambition so you will always have a sixth sense about exactly what’s important and what’s not.

Jonesin’ Crossword

professional employment

matt jones

Executive Vice President ATN Hoelzel LP seeks Exec. Vice President for its Chattanooga, TN office. Must have Master’s in Business Admin. or closely rel. field & 3 yrs exp. in business dvlpmnt. Work exp. must include at least 2 yrs exp. w/ operational management & efficiency analysis in organizational leadership role. Must have proven yearly sales record of $5 million. Up to 30% domestic and 20% int’l travel required.

“Sixteen Handles”—right down the middle.

Across

1. Company sorta responsible for the “Battleship” movie 7. Atkins Diet word 11. Each 15. Prepared 16. 1970s pills 18. “The Onion” genre 19. One-humper 20. Vampire’s favorite body part 22. First half of a secret language on “Zoom” 23. “Dear God” band 25. Congolese president assassinated in 2001 28. ___/IP 31. ___-Ur (Egyptian sky god; hidden in CHERUBIC) 32. Nada 33. They’re mostly in the Pacific 36. “The Sabre Dance” composer 40. Societal breakdown, as it were 41. Scientists collect it

42. Perceived to be 43. 8-bit video game console 44. Really mad 45. “Silent Spring” pesticide 46. Sneezer’s need 49. Orch. section 50. The Ducks’ school, casually 52. Alka-Seltzer noise 54. What you get for a dunk 59. Make happy 63. Uncalled for 64. Subject of the “cloth or plastic” debate 65. Black, to poets 66. Win at chess 67. Mopey Disney character

Down

1. ___ Master’s Voice (RCA logo) 2. Molly’s “Delicious Dish” costar, on “SNL” 3. Slaughter’s rank: abbr.

4. Turn into an

obligation for 5. Like hen’s teeth 6. Vacuum cleaner brand named for its founder 7. Maritime abbr. that predated SOS 8. Sound-related prefix 9. Hunter S. Thompson character ___ Duke 10. Hip-hop pioneer Afrika ___ 11. Computer aid for the blind 12. Blackberry, e.g.

13. Word after “fight” in “The StarSpangled Banner” 14. ___-ops (CIA tricks) 17. Country known for cedars: abbr.

21. Shaq-as-genie movie 23. Made copies 24. Walked really hard 26. They come with caps 27. Marimba ringtone items 29. Free drawings 30. ___ of Paris 31. Fuzzy environments

34. Jethro ___ 35. Golf legend Sam 37. ___ Nerys (“Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” character) 38. “Reservoir Dogs” or “Ocean’s Eleven” 39. Misbehaves 47. Ancient region on the Aegean 48. Give the slip 51. Punched-in-thesolar-plexus reaction 53. “The Andy Griffith Show” kid 54. Tub temperature tester 55. When repeated, derisive term for dubstep’s repetitive bass line 56. Ear-related prefix 57. Explosive stuff 58. Take notice of 60. NASDAQ event 61. “___ sure, dude!”

62. Uno plus uno plus uno

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call.

Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0582.

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Send resume w/ cvr ltr to: Nicole Brown at HR@atngmbh.com Reference job #EVP0001

Account Executive Account Executive (Chattanooga) Position Available at Brewer Media Permanent Full-Time

Brewer Media wants YOU! We’re seeking talented Sales Account Executives to join our high-performing team in print and online media sales. You will be responsible for hunting out new leads, making fancy presentations, managing existing accounts and selling new business.

The ideal candidate has been a successful sales person, loves Chattanooga, and excels in cultivating relationships with area businesses.

Qualified candidates will possess: Excellent written and verbal command of the English language; Organization of time with a laser-focus attention to detail, plus amazing follow through; audience- and needsbased selling approach (and knowing what that means); Outgoing and influential personality with a positive attitude (save your drama for your momma); Ability to generate your own business and to think creatively for clients. The position offers you product training, a base salary plus commission on all sales, bonuses, and the ability to get free passes to events! We also have a few radio stations you can represent as well. To be considered, please email a cover letter, resume, and salary history to : Mike Baskin: mikebaskin@brewermediagroup.com Subject: “Sales Job” The Pulse Advantage: With the most comprehensive news, arts and entertainment coverage in Chattanooga, The Pulse has become the most reliable media resource for an extremely diverse readership. Each and every week, more than 30,000 active, educated, affluent and highly influential consumers make many of their purchasing decisions based on advertisements they see on the pages of The Pulse.

Brewer Media is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 29

Life in the Noog

chuck crowder

The Fifth Food Group according to my elementary school health classes back in the day, there are four food groups: Fruits and vegetables, milk and dairy (of which the “dairy” means cheese and ice cream), breads and grains (or pasta), and meats and fish, which I hear has now been simplified to “proteins.” That’s disgusting. I don’t want to eat a “protein,” but I guess the new term at least precludes me from having to think about how many legs my dinner plate guest once had.

Meats and fish I’m sure includes just about every kind of protein you can think of, from steaks and hamburgers to Buffalo wings, beef jerky, hot dogs and Lamar’s chicken. But one thing the meat section of the old food pyramid leaves out is pork, and more specifically, bacon. Maybe it’s not kosher for some, but pork in the South is a staple of our existence.

Growing up here in the Noog, if family breakfasts didn’t include country ham or bacon, we’d be eatin’ vegetarian. And then what are we supposed to have for lunch? No pork barbecue? Don’t make me have to settle for another patty melt. I remember my favorite lunch as a young tike was “Deviled Ham,” which was essentially canned ham chunks swimming in some sort of mayonnaise-based “deviled” part. I loved the stuff, but my mom admits that she always gagged when making my sammies.

My favorite member of the carnivore food group however has always been bacon. In fact, I think its contribution to American cuisine is so significant, and tasty, that bacon should be at the top of the food chain for it is truly the “perfect food.”

First of all, it’s versatile.

You can fry up a few strips to go with your eggs in the morning, combine it with

30 • The Pulse • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Bacon should be at the top of the food chain.

It’s the perfect food. lettuce and tomato for a satisfying lunch sandwich and then crumble up the leftovers to sprinkle on top of your dinner salad.

It’s the perfect hand food.

Grab a couple of strips and head out the door for a quick snack on the go.

And dogs love it. Your canine will learn to sit a lot faster and obey a hell of a lot more if he realizes his reward is going to be a bit of his brother the pig.

In addition to its culinary flexibility, bacon is just plain delicious. Its taste is fantastic in a way that no other food outside of sweets can deliver. In fact, it’s the one forbidden food you’ll hear all vegetarians say they miss the most about their former meat-eating days. I’ve even had Jewish friends covet the fatty strips of unclean meat so much that they beg for just a whiff in a blind attempt to imagine

its effects on the palette.

There’s no real right or wrong way of preparing bacon. Some methods are better than others, but all produce positive results.

I simply love the bacon at the Longhorn restaurant on North Market Street and realized why when I saw them prepare it. First they fry it under a bacon press on the griddle like you’d imagine. But then they scoop it up and plop it into the fry basket for a soak in the boiling oil for a couple of minutes just to make sure it’s saturated in saturated fat before it makes you fat. For a minute or two after witnessing this I swear I was having chest pains, but I ordered it anyway.

Public pressure to curb our unquenchable desire for those seductive strips of fatty goodness has led to the creation of the dreaded “turkey bacon.”

I’m not sure what part of the turkey produces bacon strips because to be honest I have no idea what part of the pig bacon comes from.

But I can tell you this— turkey bacon just ain’t natural. It’s like trying to replace a Clark bar with a granola bar. Sure, they’re both tasty bar-shaped treats, but only one will make you oink.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and man about town. The opinions expressed are his own.

chattanoogapulse.com • JULY 26-AUG. 1, 2012 • The Pulse • 31