Aug. 16-22, 2012
Vol. 9 • No. 33
Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative
TIPPING POINT
‘BUILD me a world’ chronicles A year in THE LIVES of students atthe howard school » p7
THE BOWL‘CHATTANOOGAVILLE’ MUSIC EILEN JEWELL food DINING AT DUB’S
state of the art auto detailing At Chattanooga Detail, we see detailing as a science.We use steam-cleaning technology as a green alternative to traditional methods to reduce water usage and chemicals. We offer a wide range of services, from a hand wash to comprehensive detail package. Executive pick-up and delivery available.
Mention you saw this ad in The Pulse and receive 25% off any service. 1944 Dayton Blvd • 423.531.3655 • chattanoogadetail.com
2 • The Pulse • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
Expires 12/30/12
HIGHLIGHTS
THE PULSE •AUG. 16-22, 2012 • vol. 9 •no. 33
COVER STORY
TIPPING POINT
• Local filmmakers document a year in the lives of students at the Howard School in “Build Me A World” » 7 By Rich Bailey On the cover: A scene from “Build Me A World”/Courtesy Fancy Rhino This page: Paul Smith, principal of the Howard School/Courtesy Fancy Rhino
Since 2003
ADVERTISING Advertising Director Mike Baskin Account Executive Rick Leavell
CONTACT
Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative chattanoogapulse.com
Since 2003
EDITORIAL
Publisher Zachary Cooper Creative Director Bill Ramsey Contributors Rich Bailey • Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder • John DeVore • Janis Hashe Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative Matt Jones • Chris Kelly • D.E. Langley Mike McJunkin • David Morton • Patrick Noland Ernie Paik • Cole Rose • Alex Teach Richard Winham Cartoonists Max Cannon • Richard Rice Tom Tomorrow Photography Jason Dunn • Josh Lang Interns Katie Johnston • Junnie Kwon
Since 2003
Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative
Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com calendar@chattanoogapulse.com Got a stamp? 1305 Carter St. • Chattanooga, TN 37402
the fine print
The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors. © 2012 Brewer Media
BREWER MEDIA GROUP President Jim Brewer II
chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 3
0 0 . 5 $ S Y FrIDA
BOWL
THE N O I T I PROHIB
S L I A T K COC ENJOY COOL COCKTAILS
ON ThE PATIO
got gig?
Cost of gigabit speed remains out of reach in a note of cruel irony last week, Gig City became just Ordinary Internet Speed City. Even as the Gig Tank—a group formed to reward contestants with financial backing for creating the best businesses applications to use the city’s vaunted gigabit Internet speeds—prepared to hand over it’s $100,000 top prize, Craig Settles struggled to access the high-speed connection even in the heart of EPB’s downtown headquarters. Settles, host of the Internet radio show “Gigabit Nation,” came to Chattanooga to broadcast his program using the gigabit connection and discuss its speed and power. Problem was, he couldn’t connect. As reported in the Times Free Press,
bREAkFASt on
SAtuRdAyS
bRuncH on SundAy!
nEW HouRS!
mon-FRi: 11Am-10Pm SAtuRdAy: 8Am-10Pm SundAy: 11Am-10Pm
BBLACKSmITh’S B ISTrO
Ar
3914 St. Elmo AVE. (423) 702-5461
Find uS on FAcEbook blacksmithstelmo.com 4 • The Pulse • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
TALK OF THE NOOG chattanoogapulse.com • facebook/chattanoogapulsE SEND LETTERS TO: INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM
Settles struggled to access the gigabit connection as airtime grew closer. Even settled in EPB’s nerve center, however, Settles had to eventually settle for a lower speed wireless connection. We point this out to bring up the disconnect between the highly publicized service and end users. The price of gigabit service alone from EPB costs $350 per month— a cost that allows only less than 20 businesses and less than a dozen residential users to afford its lightning-fast speeds. Elsewhere, Google is offering a gigabit connection to residents of Kansas City for 20 percent of EPB’s charge, or around $70 per month. The divide? As an EPB spokesperson noted, the utility doesn’t have Google’s bottomless wallet. But even at that price, everyday users would notice little difference in the speed. The speedy service demands the type of applications that businesses can use to offer faster, better service, such as Gig
Tank top-prize winner Banyan’s cloudbased system that allows researchers and universities to more easily share information. Even sexier projects such as the social gaming experience another winner created remain out of reach while EPB’s charge remains so high. In the meantime, Gig City is, to most, a mirage. —Bill Ramsey
TEA PARTY TV
‘Chattanoogaville’ irks city leaders, FB crowd the city loves to promote chattanooga’s frequent starring role in the national media and when it is featured on TV and in the movies. But when it comes to using the name Chattanooga in the title of a reality TV series titled “Chattanoogaville”—and when that series is tied to Tea Party-style conservatism in smalltown America—city officials and boosters become a little uncomfortable. Last week, the show’s producer, Melanie Tipton, a native Chattanoogan, announced the series would begin shooting in September. Some exteriors will be shot around Chattanooga, but the name is fictional, claims Tipton, adding that the show will focus on conservative beliefs across the country. Nevertheless, the announcement set off a backlash on Facebook when news of the show appeared at the same time as a popular video featuring the city began circulating. But Tipton wrote on the Times Free Press’ Facebook page that, “We are not going to take video shots of Chattanooga and make the town look like hillbillies. I was born and raised in Chattanooga and I’m proud of the city and we will never make this wonderful place look bad.” Others, however, find the name and the show insulting and urged the city to take legal action to protect the city’s name. On Friday, Richard Beeland, spokesperson for Mayor Ron Littlefield, told the TFP that the city does not plan to fight the show or stop it from trademarking the name “Chattanoogaville,” remarking, “I don’t think it’s worth putting that much time in.” Indeed, the series has neither a distribution deal nor a network, so all the ado may
be about little or nothing at all. Still, Tipton clearly got a chuckle out of rankling Littlefield. “We all laughed at his statement,” Tipton told the TFP. “As we all know ... the Chattanooga Tea Party and a couple more political organizations are the ones responsible for the recall to remove Littlefield out of office.” —B.R.
politics
Dems embarrassed, but stuck with Clayton what does it take to win the Democratic primary for U.S. Senate in Tennessee? Not money or endorsements— although those elements surely help—but having a surname that begins with one of the first three letters of the alphabet is apparently more important. And if you’re a fringe candidate in a one-party state like Tennessee, it takes just 25 signatures to place your name on the ballot. “The guy hasn’t even updated his website since 2008,” Sean Braisted of the Tennessee Democratic Party told The Daily Beast website. “So the only logical thing is that he was the first name on the ballot.” That’s what a victorious Mark Clayton found on Aug. 2 after winning the primary to confront incumbent Republican Sen. Bob Corker of Chattanooga. But state Democrats were less than pleased and quickly moved to distance themselves from Clayton, who espouses extremist conservative values and reportedly has a negative obsession with gay rights. As embarrassing as Clayton’s 20-point victory may be, it seems the Democrats are stuck with Clayton. Last week, The Tennessean reported that Tennessee Democratic Party Chairman Chip Forrester missed the opportunity to keep Clayton off the ballot. According to the Nashville paper’s political blog, “In Session,” Forrester had seven days after the April 5 qualifying deadline to question whether Clayton was a “bona fide” member of the Democratic Party. After that date, party and state officials had no legal grounds to block his candidacy, elections coordinator Mark Goins wrote in a letter released this morning to Democratic candidate Larry Crim. “Realize 50,000 Democrat voters voted for Mr. Clayton and he met all of the statutory requirements at the time of qualifying,” Goins told the paper. While Corker had little reason to fret over most any Democratic candidate vying for his Senate seat, this snafu does little to ease the frayed nerves of Tennessee Democrats, who suffer a debilitating and marginalized role in state politics. —B.R.
On the Beat
alex teach
The Joy of Being a Man law enforcement isn’t reserved for men; far from it. it’s a profession that demands the diversity that we profess to be our strength because in a job in which you never know what’s going to happen next, you need a vast pool of resources to handle it. Women in law enforcement? Believe it or not, some think completely differently from men and it takes that varying point of view to solve different kinds of problems. Sometimes we need a guy that can speak Swahili (it’s come up), sometimes we need a guy that can pick a lock or pilot a boat, and sometimes we need a woman to handle situations men literally can’t comprehend. Now that we’re crystal clear on the importance of females in this maledominated line of work, let me tell you that this column is about the exhilaration of doing things so manly you’d think your turds had muscles at the end of the day and not about women at all. I was working on my roof recently because my penchant for cheap contractors had finally bit me in the ass when recent monsoons underscored the presence of a leak over my back patio door. Not being one who would pick up the phone and squirt tears to a contractor to “make it all better,” I did what any other wholechicken-eating man would do and grabbed a ladder and a five-gallon bucket of mastic roofing cement and went to task. I had the presence of mind to use rubber gloves (the blue ones preferred by EMTs and proctologists) because mastic is actually a creamy kind of tar, and tar is the enemy of all things flesh.
So I’m slapping the shit out of my roof with this tar, filling anything that looked like a crack, seam, split or bug. Before it’s over, it’s on the shingles, the siding, the flashing, the trim, and, of course, me, all the way up to my elbows and down to my toes. (My hands, mind you, were pristine.) The reason I told you all that is to explain how the topic of manliness came up: The best (or at least most convenient) solvent for tar on skin is gasoline, and in short order I found myself crouched in a patch of grass ladling it with cupped hands from a metal bucket and rubbing it into my skin. Sure enough, tar that once stained skin for days (if not weeks) was dissolving before my eyes and the stench of gas was overpowering—but not so much that I didn’t appreciate what was happening. For I, a grown man, was squatting on my lawn rubbing freakin’ gasoline into my skin, and I was seconds from thumping the ground in front of me with the back of my hand and making guttural grunts. I got so into it I actually started using it to clean
things on me that were not tar-based, like dirt and a Powerade splash. It was suddenly one of the great moments of my life as a Man, comparable to: • Yanking my own toe nail out with a pair of pliers once (the nail having been pulled off its bed by an errant nail on my front deck), the blood dripping into the bowl of ice water I used to numb my foot; • The first time I ran emergency traffic on Shallowford Road and crossed Lee Highway, the slight rise in the larger roadway launching my car into the air enough that a pen briefly floated in mid-air like in an old Tang commercial, only to be interrupted by the abrupt landing which sent a shower of sparks visible even in my rearview mirror (and the fact I didn’t lose control and die); • And the first time I was off-duty and in my house having a cole-beer after a long day on the job, but still in uniform. I like helping people, solving problems, the nobility of the profession. But sometimes it just feels good to be a guy. Is that why I’m a cop? Nope. But it sure makes some of the bad times a little easier to deal with. Alex Teach is a fulltime police officer of nearly 20 years experience. The opinions expressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at facebook. com/alex.teach. chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 5
URBAN THEATER
ROGUE ROCKER
Free outdoor movies coming to Market Street
Nugent ramps up rhetoric in advance of show
IS WAY NET TO E O TH
ATIONS A T D FIC IA TI L O
new documentary featured in The Pulse this week) and “The Goonies,” the 1980’s adventurecomedy cult classic produced by Steven Spielberg. At the same hour on Saturday, Sept. 8, the series pairs “Lunch Hour,” a docu• Miss going to the drive-in for mentary that examines Ameria movie? For those of a certain ca’s National School Lunch Proage, drive-in movies were a dategram, which exposes children to night staple that freed viewers unhealthy but culturally acceptfrom the quiet confines of indoor ed foods at a young age, followed movie theaters. Stadium seating by the Spielberg classic “E.T.” and 3-D technology aside, there’s Leaping forward to Saturday, more than nostalgia to the Sept. 22, the series concludes drive-in, and the Arts its trial run with “Ur& Education Counbanized,” a docuPULSE PUS • T H S cil and River mentary which N FA City Company explores the have teamed issues and to re-create strateg ies the thrill behind urby presentban design, ing a series followed of outdoor by “Back to movies unthe Future,” der the title another “Movies at ’80s fantasy the 700 Block: classic starUrban Theater ring Michael J. in the City CenFox. ter.” The pairings may The free series makes seem awkward and inuse of the undeveloped gap of congruous, but River City’s space in the 700 block of Market goal is to inform, entertain and Street now reclaimed by River bring attention to the vacant city City Company and will feature block, long the center of developtwo films each night—the proment discussion but still a gapvocative documentaries AEC is ing hole in the city center. While known for, along with fun feaRiver City mulls proposals for ture films to lighten the mood— the block’s future use—a mix of in an open-air environment feaparking, retail and housing are a turing food trucks and beer on central theme—the movie nights site at 728 Market St. will bring a fun, free element The series begins its threeto (hopefully cooler) early fall week run at 8:45 p.m. on Saturnights downtown. day, Sept. 1, with a screening of For more information on the “Build Me A World: The Story series, visit rivercitycompany. of The Howard School” (the com or artsedcouncil.org.
AREA
423
• PEED BECA U PS SE -U
honest music
Fans, artists mourn demise of Discoteca • A former dive bar turned public art project on Main Street destined for demolition finally met its demise last week as construction crews reduced the building to rubble amid the fond remembrances of those who recalled the short-lived Discoteca lounge and its transition into an ever evolving canvas for local artists. Dubbed the Discoteca Demolition Project, the doomed edifice of the former bar first garnered widespread attention and icon status last year when artist Kevin Bate painted a mural of movie star and Chattanooga native Samuel L. Jackson on the building. The mural also served to jumpstart Bate’s art career and his murals now appear all over Chattanoooga, including his lat-
est of Dr. Martin Luther King on MLK Boulevard. “I had no idea that would spark so much attention,” Bate said, referring to the Jackson mural. “What a year that wall had.” Many other artists, both professional and amateur, adorned the building with their own art, graffiti and imagery, eventually overlapping and covering the works of former artists such as Bate as the demolition was delayed. The destruction of the building also caused an outpouring of sentiment for the former club. “Many have their own reasons to wax poetic about it’s destruction and get teary-eyed, and I have mine,” said Pulse Publisher Zachary Cooper. “I saw a lot of great shows there. It was at once the dive of all shit dives and a special, magical snowflake. What our local artists did to transform the building, post-Discoteca, made the memories even sweeter.” The site is now being developed for a new tenant, the Center for Integrated Medicine.
local and regional shows
JK and the Lost Boyz with The Waters Brothers ($3)
Wed, Aug 15
9pm
Calloh! Callay! with Bearhound ($3)
Thu, Aug 16
9pm
Pirate Night! Opposite Box, That Handsome Devil and Sparkz ($7 or $5 with Pirate Attire)
Wed, Aug 22
9pm
Special Show Sun, Sept 2
SOUTHSIDE
• Motor City Madman turned rogue rocker Ted Nugent again made news last week with the latest of his vitriolic attacks on the Obama administration in advance of his show here on Tuesday, Aug. 21, at Track 29. Seemingly oblivious to the negative effects on his tour income (to say nothing of his recent investigation by the Secret Service for his potentially threatening remarks toward the president), Nugent suggested to a Florida alt-weekly that the divide between President Obama and Republican rival Mitt Romney was basically one of good versus evil. “I am saddened to admit that Obama represents everything bad about humanity and Romney pretty much all that is good,” Nugent told New Times BrowardPalm Beach. If his recent Florida shows are any gauge, Nugent is not shying away from his incendiary political statements, at one point imploring his audience to pick up arms. “It’s 2012. What are you going to do?” he asked the crowd during his recent Tampa performance. “They’re coming up your streets, jackboots stepping high, looking in your windows. What are you going to do? Put a fuckin’ gun in your hands!” No word from the Romney camp as to whether Nugent will perform at the Republican National Convention.
Labor Day Weekend Blowout with Strung Like A Horse ($5)
Free Irish Music Sundays at 7pm
Aug 19: Molly Maguires Aug 30: Olta 10pm
6 • The Pulse • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
Full food menu serving lunch and dinner. 11am-2am, 7 days a week. 35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint
Tipping Point
The new documentary ‘Build Me A World’ examines the struggles of students at the Howard School to achieve their goals against the odds.
The Howard School at the Crossroads tasked with changing or having changes made for it by state authorities. The film approaches Howard’s challenges by documenting the senior year of a select group of students who are part of the school’s Talented Tenth leadership program. “The goal is for Chattanooga to hold mirror up to itself, to think about how Howard fits into the story of Chattanooga,” says Belz. “Art has a way of getting the point across in a different way than news or a written report or all those stats we read,” adds Bethany Mollenkof, the film’s director. Belz and Mollenkof both work for Fancy Rhino, a video production company whose staff of nine is just a few years older than the students they profiled at Howard. “We’re all about 23 or 24,” says Belz, who co-owns the company with Isaiah Smallman. The two began doing freelance video projects for CreateHere two years ago after graduating from Covenant College. They formed Fancy Rhino in 2010 and began working with Lampost Group last year to accelerate their growth. After starting out supporting local nonprofits and startups, the company has recently signed Samsung and Rockefeller Philanthropy Advisors as clients. “Build Me A World” began with a MakeWork grant to create a short documentary film about Howard, but when the would-be filmmakers approached Howard principal Paul Smith last year, he was cool to the idea of yet another piece of journalism about the school.
By Rich Bailey “i think art has lot of leverage to change conversation,” says drew Belz, co-producer of “Build Me a World,” the new feature-length documentary about the Howard School that premieres at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, Aug. 16, at the Tivoli Theatre. “There hasn’t been a piece of art—especially a feature-length film of any sort—about who we are as a city, made by people in the city. We want to join the artistic effort that is growing in this city, that acts like a can opener on some issues.” Belz’s film does more than open the can—it exposes a side of Chattanooga that is unknown or ignored by many amid the city’s recent hype as a cultural and technological gem. As the film’s website dramatically intones, Chattanoogans live in two cities: “The first is the smart city,” the introduction begins, “Volkswagen, Amazon, and a history of wealth. The second is a world away: bottom-rung public schools, food deserts, and an absurdly high crime rate.
The gap between the two grows deeper every day.” The story of the Howard School is long and in many ways mirrors the black experience in the South, from its birth as the first public school in Chattanooga launched at the end of the Civil War, through Reconstruction, winding its way through eras of success and collapse. By 2007, the school was classified as a “dropout factory,” with a graduation rate of 28 percent, and was
Storytelling from the Inside Looking Out
“He said, ‘I want people who care about the kids. I want this story to be told from the inside looking out, not from the outside in,’” recalls Mollenkof. “I asked him if we could teach a class to prove that we really do care about the kids, we care about the school, we’re not just making a movie.” The filmmakers soon realized the subject matter was worthy of a feature-length film, so Fancy Rhino sought private donations and launched an online fundraising campaign to help fund the film. For the last school year, Mollenkof and Belz taught a filmmaking class working with students in the Talented Tenth leadership program and their teacher Mason West. In addition to filming the students themselves, they »P8
chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 7
REALLYNOURISH
Thrive Cafe serves wholesome food and GREAT coffee!
Bring this ad in for a free cup of coffee! We feature local roasters Stone Cup and Velo
Thrive Studio offers training, yoga, indoor cycling, fitness classes & nutrition with convenient drop-in plans.
OPEN 6 A.M. MONDAY-FRIDAY Thrive Studio • 191 River St. • 423.800.0676 thrivestudio.net • Facebook/ThriveStudio • Twitter: @thrivestudio1
Thrive Studio—Healthy Bodies, Happy Minds 8 • The Pulse • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
gave students cameras to take home and document their own lives. “The film follows three seniors who were at the tipping point in their lives, graduating this year, which to me is pretty metaphorical to the life of school,” Mollenkof says. This year Howard either comes off the state’s list of worstperforming schools or faces a range of intervention options, including state takeover. “In some ways it’s appropriate that we haven’t heard what the final story is on the school yet, because we don’t know the final story on these kids’ lives. They’re moving forward into the future, many of them without big prospects,” she says. “I think we look at this piece as such a small moment. It’s a year, it’s moments within a year of the lives of these students. So we don’t at all think this is comprehensive. We think of it more as a way people who wouldn’t naturally go over to Howard are able to connect. You have to deal with the hard issues an impoverished community faces, but you have to have hope that there will be solutions. Either you deal with it or you ignore it. We know there are rough spots in Chattanooga. We have some very underperforming schools, and there’s not a lot of consternation over it.” “Its not a comprehensive guide to gang violence or teen pregnancy. It is a window into a world that is often passed over in Chattanooga. At the same time, it is a world that a large population takes great pride in,” Belz adds. “There is a great culture at Howard. As history shows, as we show in movie, real integration between those worlds—between the Howard community and the rest of thriving Chattanooga—is still not happening.” Crossing a Line Into Advocacy
Most powerful documentaries have a strong point of view, a vantage point that might say “This story needs to be told” or “This problem needs to be fixed.” Passionate storytelling rarely goes well with total objectivity. “We’re not afraid of the tag of advocacy,” Belz says. “Early on, I think we were a little skeptical. Like what if we had to reveal some serious dirt about Howard? How are we going to be objective documentarians working within the system? As we got to know the school and as they trusted us more, we began to feel like we had no problem with advocacy. But it’s not about making a social statement. We wanted to tell a story and we wanted that story to speak for itself.” Mollenkof began the project with a journalist’s eye for impartiality, but soon
“Build Me A World” Events Premiere: 7:30 p.m. Thursday, Aug. 16 Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. Tickets are free, but must be reserved online at buildmeaworld.com The Howard Summit 10 a.m., Saturday, Aug. 18, The Howard School, 2500 S. Market St. The Camp House 8 p.m., Wednesday, Aug. 22, The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. Movies at the 700 Block: Urban Theater in the City 8:45 p.m., Saturday, Sept. 1, 728 Market St.
became caught up in the lives of the students. “I have a background in newspaper photojournalism, so I’m always asking, ‘Where is that invisible line you’re not supposed to cross?’” she says. “But one of my teachers always said, ‘You’re a human first.’ For this situation, we felt like in so many cases we might have been the only resource for that kid. We tried to be sensitive and show true stories but definitely with care and compassion and love. If that takes on an advocacy voice, we’re fine with that.” The resulting film—a compromise between art, objectivity, advocacy and the mandate set by the school’s principal— shines a light on the struggles of the students to achieve their goals against long odds. And while Smith told the Times Free Press that the documentary has its uplifting moments, it doesn’t come across as a “feel-good” film. “I’m really glad Paul Smith forced us to be more of a partner with the school and teach a class, because the problem at Howard or any failing school is really complicated,” Belz says. “For us to have come in and been sort of a fly on the wall and put it into some artistic form would have been one thing, but to have lived and taught and had the Howard experience was something else entirely. These kids aren’t the smartest kids at Howard or the worst kids or the gangbangers. They’re not one thing—they’re three kids we happened to have relationships with, and they do represent the whole in a way.” “It changed me, and it changed Drew,” Mollenkof adds. “We can see better how those issues can be addressed. So why wouldn’t we make something that could change other people, too? Those kids just get you, man. They get your heart.”
LIST
THE
NIGHTFALL
AUG. 16-22
YELLOW DUBMARINE
CALENDAR
EILEN JEWELL »
LONG GONE DARLINGS FRI 08.17 • 7 p.m. Miller Plaza
riverfront nights endelouz SAT 08.18 • 7 p.m. 21st Century Waterfront
» pulse PICKS
» pulse pick OF THE LITTER
THU08.16
Bessie Smith Heritage Festival
MUSIC The Chris Robinson Brotherhood • Black Crowes front man leads his new group. 8 p.m. • Track 29 • 1400 Market St. (423) 588-0029 • track29.co
home game
SCHEDULE
EVENT “Build Me A World”
Thu, Aug 16 • 7:15 PM
• Documentary focuses on the Howard School in Chattanooga. See Page 7. 7:30 p.m. • Tivoli Theatre • 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 • chattanooga.gov
High School Football Night
vs. Suns
FRI08.17
Fireworks!
vs. Suns
MUSIC
Sat, Aug 18 • 7:15 PM
Fri, Aug 17 • 7:15 PM
Dr. Pepper College Football Night
Eilen Jewell • Country-flavored, blues-infused folk. Long Gone Darlings open. See Page 11. 7 p.m. • Nightfall • Miller Plaza 850 Market St. • nightfallchattanooga.com
Fri, Aug 24 • 7:15 PM Fireworks!
EVENT Nickajack Bat Cave Kayak Trip • See bats, man, on the river on this trip with Outdoor Chattanooga. 7 p.m. • 200 River St. • (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com
SAT08.18 MUSIC von Grey • Classically trained sisters mine alt-folk vibe. 7:30 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater • 1307 Dodds Ave. • (423) 624-5347 • barkinglegs.org
EVENT Bessie’s Arts on “9th Street” • Free art festival is part of the Bessie Smith Heritage Festival. 10 a.m. • Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. • bessiesmithcc.org
vs. Suns
T
he Bessie Smith “brand” has taken its knocks this year, thanks to the controversy over the near-cancelled Strut during Riverbend in June. So it’s good to see her name flying high again at the fifth annual Bessie Smith Heritage Festival. The latest incarnation of the festival, which celebrates music, art and culture, begins a two-day run on Saturday at the Bessie Smith Cultural Center. As always, live music is a focal point, and this year the festival serves up two nights of neo-soul and modern jazz.
On Saturday evening, Rahsaan Patterson (above) headlines a lineup that also includes New Orleans brass band The Michael Foster Project and DieDra Ruff & the Ruff Pro Band performing in the hall. Earlier in the day, Rick Rushing and the Blues Strangers entertain for free on the center’s lawn. Also on Saturday, the center features an artists market with local and regional artists offering their works. On Sunday, the focus switches to jazz with jazz fusion pioneer Jeff Lorber leading a lineup that
includes Alex Bugon and Karen Brown. Festival music director Joe Johnson and his band will perform on both nights. On Sunday afternoon, Lorber will also host a free talk at the center at 3 p.m.
vs. Generals
Sat, Aug 25 • 7:15 PM Dr. Pepper Bat Giveaway Night ZOOperstars!
vs. Generals
Bessie Smith Heritage Festival $25-$35 • 7 p.m. Saturday & Sunday, Aug. 18 & 19 Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithheritage festival.com
chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 9
When It’s Raining, We’re Pouring.
Follow us on Facebook for “It’s Raining, So We’re Pouring” Specials!
205 Broad Street • 423.266.5564 Mellow Mushroom Chattanooga
2318 Lifestyle Way • 423.468.3737 Mellow Mushroom Waterside
10 • The Pulse • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
Party at the richard winham
Nightfall: Best is Yet to Come if the first rolling stones records had featured a sultry singer with Billie Holiday’s suggestive phrasing, they would’ve sounded just like Eilen Jewell and her band, the headliners at Nightfall on Friday. On Jewell’s most recent album, Queen of fhe Minor Key, she melds her languidly soulful voice with a band playing the kind of roadhouse country-soul Robert Mitchum would’ve had playing on his car radio in the moonshiner movie, “Thunder Road.” Of all the great free shows at Miller Plaza this summer, this is the one not-to-be-missed show. The Boston-based singer-songwriter whose name rhymes with “reelin’” may have titled her current album after bristling at churlish critics nitpicking her predilection for understatement, but they were right, and she was right to listen. They may have intended for her to re-think her approach, but she had no reason. Instead she took those caveats as her coronation. She may enjoy the minor mode, but that doesn’t mean she can’t rock. Leading a trio capable of navigating a noirish late-night swing on one tune (“I Remember You”) and the open-chorded twang of early 60’s rock ‘n’ roll (“Shakin’ All Over”) on another, Jewell and her band will lull you one minute and in the next have you up on your feet like a roadhouse dancer on a Saturday night. The Wild Feathers, a Nashville quintet, are the lead act the following week (Friday, Aug. 24), replacing another Nashville band, The Apache Relay, who are on tour with Mumford & Sons and had to cancel. The Feathers came together in 2010, organized by industry veteran Jeff Sosnow, who knew them all and thought they’d get along and complement each other. By
self the leader, will be saxophonist Steve Nieves, violinist Karen Briggs (a featured player in Yanni’s band for 13 years) and guitarist Chieli Minucci. Originally one half of the duo Special Efx, with percussionist George Jinda, Minucci is a world-class musician success-
Eilen Jewell headlines Nightfall on Friday. Long Gone Darlings will open.
the end of 2010, the band holed up in a Pigeon Forge cabin to write and record demos for their debut album. The Nashville Scene describes their sound as “unhinged, harmony-driven Southern rock ... somewhere between The Beach Boys and Black Oak Arkansas, a jubilant pummeling of rock ’n’ roll excitement.” Tizer, a septet led by pianist Lao Tizer, will be the featured act the following week (Friday, Aug. 31). Along with Tizer, who doesn’t consider him-
ful on Broadway, as a writer of television themes, the leader of Special Efx for more than 25 years, and as an in-demand sideman for pop acts like Jennifer Lopez, Jewel and Celine Dion, as well as a number of contemporary jazz musicians. Tizer’s music is a mix of jam-band funk and airy jazzinfluenced pop with some meaty solos from Briggs, Minucci and Tizer, whose piano playing brings Bruce Hornsby to mind. This is what people mean when they refer to “smooth jazz.” It’s not very demanding music, but while it’s light, it’s not lightweight. “I admire traditional jazz and bebop,” said Tizer in an online interview, “but there is a
rhythmic sense to Tizer’s music that makes it easy for an audience to connect. It adds more energy and makes it more free-flowing.” The headliner for the final show in this year’s series on Friday, Sept. 7, is an Austin, Texas-based rock ‘n’ roll band called Quiet Company. Contrary to their name, the quartet—featuring pianist, singer and guitarist Taylor Muse, guitarist and keyboardist Tommy Blank, bassist Matt Parmenter and drummer Jeff Weathers—are a bunch of wall-shakers. Hometown favorites in Austin, the band won a raft of awards in the Austin Chronicle’s 30th Annual Austin Music Awards for 2011-2012, including Band of the Year, Best Indie Band and Best Rock Band. Watching them bashing out their own tunes “You, Me and The Boatman” and “When they Really Get To Know You …,” as well as a cover of The Cure’s “In Between Days” may well cause many viewers to wonder how they won a contest in a music town like Austin. But one look at a YouTube video of the band on stage will answer that question. Put them in front of a crowd and they come alive. On stage their music has the thunder and energy of a great rock band. Their set promises to be an epic closer for this year’s Nightfall series. Richard Winham is the host and producer of WUTC-FM’s afternoon music program and has observed the Chattanooga music scene for more than 25 years.
All Week Long!
Mon & tue LIVE DJ
Wii on the Big Screen wednesdays
Jonathan Wimpee Jam Session thursdays LOCAL LEGENDS
HOUSE PARTY WITH 5 DJS
WEEKEND
PARTY ZONE!
FRI $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH
SCOTT MOODY sat $1 BEER 10-11PM LIVE MUSIC WITH
CRITTY UPCHURCH Party on Two Floors!
1st Floor: Live Music • 2nd Floor: Dancing
Raw Sushi Bar
Restaurant & Nightclub 409 Market Street •423.756.1919
chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 11
Chattanooga Live
MUSIC CALENDAR
Thu 08.16
Wednesday • August 15 Wayne “The Train” Hancock The Bohannons
Thursday • August 16
AFRO • Great Barrier Reefs
Friday • August 17
Long Gone Darlings Paleface • Adam Faucett
Saturday • August 18
Plavnt • Monocots • Kymera
Tuesday • August 21
Comedy Buffet with Ryan Singer
Wednesday • August 22
The Wild Ones • Bummer City Rough and Tumble
Thursday • August 23
Soul Mechanic • Mama’s Love
Friday • August 24
Glowing Bordis • Smooth Dialects Megan Jean and the KFB
LIVE MUSIC CHATTANOOGA AUG
16 JORDAN HALLQUIST FRI. 9:30p 17 SAT. RUBIK’S GROOVE 10p 18 THESE UNITED STATES WED. 9:30p 22 MACHINES ARE PEOPLE TOO FRI. 10p 24 LEAVING MISS BLUE with KYMERA
THU. 9:30p
and THE OUTFIT with JOHN HOUSTON BAND
All American Summer featuring the New Binkley Brothers 6:30 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Rosedale Remedy 8 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com The Great Barrier Reefs, AFRO 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 The Chris Robinson Brotherhood 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 588-0029 track29.co Callooh! Callay! with Bearhound 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Leaving Miss Blue with Kymera 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com
fri 08.17 Eilen Jewell, Long Gone Darlings 7 p.m. Nightfall, River City Stage at Miller Plaza, 850 Market St.
VON GREY • Four classically trained sisters from Atlanta—Kathryn, Annika, Fiona and Petra—comprise von Grey. The band will be performing songs from their new five-song EP, produced by Grammy Award-winner Nick DiDia. SAT 08.18 • 7:30 p.m. • Barking Legs Theatre • 1307 Dodds Ave. • (423) 624-5347 • barkinglegs.org
nightfallchattanooga.com Songs & Stories featuring Ry Glover 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Rosedale Remedy 8 p.m. Top of the Dock, 5600 Lake Resort Terr. topofthedock.net Little Country Giants 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave.
(423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Chris Ryan 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Jordan Hallquist & The Outfit 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Channing Wilson 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St.
(423) 266-4240 tboneschattanooga.com DaNgEr K!tTy Rocks 10 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533 skyzoochattanooga.com Soul Survivor 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com Scott Moody 10 p.m. Raw Sushi Bar,
The Ultimate 80s Experience
with EIGHT KNIVES and TIM EASTON
with TODAY THE MOON, TOMORROW THE SUN
COMING: 8/25: HILLBILLY SINS 8/30: SMOOTH DIALECTS 8/31: FLY BY RADIO 9/2: SOUL MECHANIC + THE JUICE ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE
221 MARKET STREET
HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM 12 • The Pulse • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
JOIN THE HIPPIE GENERATION GREAT MUSIC FROM 1964-1973
409 Market St. (423) 756-1919 Paleface, Long Gone Darlings, Adam Faucett 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 The Pool 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com
sat 08.18 The Pool 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Bessie Smith Heritage & Music Festival: Rick Rushing & The Blues Strangers, Joe Johnson Band, DieDra Ruff & the Ruff Pro Band, The Michael Foster Project, Rahsaan Patterson 7 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmith heritagefestival.com Ogya Trio 10 a.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224 ridetheincline.com. New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn, Ga. seerockcity.com Mark “Porkchop” Holder 12:30 p.m. River Market at Aquarium Plaza, W, Aquarium Way. (423) 648-2496 von Grey 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org 6String Suga Daddy 8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730 southsidesaloonandbistro.com Whiskey Bizness 8 p.m. Charlie’s Sports Bar and Grill,
4021 Hixson Pike (423) 825-4811 Bud Lightning 8 p.m. Top of the Dock, 5600 Lake Resort Terr. topofthedock.net Plavnt, Monocots, Kymera 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Kathy Tugman 8:30 p.m. The Foundry (at the Chattanoogan Hotel), 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400 chattanooganhotel.com Anna Banana, Leah Yeppi & Alas Alas 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 The Most Important Band in the World 9:30 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533 skyzoochattanooga.com Rubik’s Groove 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Soul Survivor 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com Davey Smith 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 tboneschattanooga.com Critty Upchurch 10 p.m. Raw Sushi Bar, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919
sun 08.19 The Vibe Dials 2 p.m. Chattanooga Market, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. chattanoogamarket.com Bessie Smith Heritage & Music Festival: Joe Johnson Band, Karen Brown, Alex Bugnon, Jeff Lorber 7 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmith heritagefestival.com Open Jam with
Jeff Daniel 3 p.m. Charlie’s Sports Bar and Grill, 4021 Hixson Pike (423) 825-4811 Evensong 7 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. thecamphouse.com Rigoletto 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400
901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191
Thursday, Aug. 16: 9pm Open Mic with Mark Holder
Friday, Aug. 17: 9pm Chris Ryan
tue 08.21
Saturday, Aug. 18: 9pm
Ted Nugent 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323 track29.co Troy Underwood 8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730 southsidesaloonandbistro.com
Anna Banana Leah Yeppi & Alas Alas
Tuesday, Aug. 21: 7pm
Server Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks! Stop by & check out our daily specials! ●
wed 08.22 Ben Friberg Trio 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 809 Market St. (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com Matisyahu and The Dirty Heads 8 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 588-0029 track29.co The Wild Ones, Bummer City, The Rough & Tumble 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 That Handsome Devil, Opposite Box and Sparkz 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com These United States with Eight Knives 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com
Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers
Facebook.com/theofficechatt daily lunch & drink specials!
The only place in Town where you can sing karaoke anyTime.
Book your Birthday, anniversary or holiday parties now!
410 market • (423) 757-wing
singitorwingit-chattanooga.com
Tuesday: Karaoke 10pm to 2am Wednesday: $1 Beer No cover 4pm to Close
Thursdays: Live Trivia 8-10pm Happy Hour Daily 4-8pm
Map these locations at chattanoogapulse.com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.
NEW LOCATION! 809 MARKET ST. WED. NIGHT LIVE JAZZ 7-9PM WINE SPECIALS 4PM-CLOSE GREAT SIGNATURE COCKTAILS!
427 Market Street • 423.267.2445
Market Street Tavern 809 Market Street• 423.634.0260 Facebook.com/marketstreettavern
chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 13
Between the Sleeves record reviews • ernie paik
Books. Lots of books. And more. We buy, sell and trade. Used Books, CDs, Movies, & More
7734 Lee Highway • McKayBooks.com Monday-Saturday 9am-10pm • Sunday 11am-7pm
music for background listening can often be vapid, thanks to purveyors of watered-down familiar tunes such as Muzak, but ambient music pioneer Brian Eno is quick to point out the differences between such elevator music and more art-minded works. He wrote in the liner notes of his 1978 album, Ambient 1: Music for Airports, “Ambient Music must be able to accommodate many levels of listening attention without enforcing one in particular.” One key difference Eno points out is that Muzak smooths out any aural idiosyncrasies, while ambient music enhances them. These concepts immediately come to mind when listening to Grouper’s new double-album, Violet Replacement, available as a limited edition CD-R package and as digital downloads. Grouper Liz Harris, the sound artist behind Grouper, has perhaps moved Violet the farthest away from conventional song structures with Violet ReReplacement placement, comprised of two album-length ambient tape collages, (Yellowelectric) entitled “Rolling Gate” and “SLEEP.” From afar, they seem like a pair of monolithic sound blocks, but if the listener puts on headphones and provides a greater level of attention, inspecting them closely, the details distinguish themselves. Harris uses Wurlitzer organ loops (barely recognizable as such), field recordings and other loops from her arsenal and creates a gray aural mist that gently gurgles harmlessly, taking its sweet time to make its subtle shifts, periodically moving from one simple melody to another among the amorphous haze. However, “Rolling Gate” features a mounting conclusion with chaotic noise rising ominously in volume, as if gingerly poking or shaking a person who is drifting off to sleep. Violet Replacement isn’t quite as interesting as Grouper’s double-album, A I A, from last year, but Harris seems to be making a point and taking an idea to its conclusion here; now that it’s been thoroughly explored with these abstract lulls, let’s hope she moves forward. the second album from the swedish outfit memo cassette, scores, is perhaps like the aural equivalent of cat-herding by wrangling irregular outbursts from improvising musicians following written-out scores. However, these scores are not conventional scores with music notes on staves. Memo Cassette’s scores are enigmatically full of symbols that hint toward some kind of rhyme or reason that’s hard to discern when following along to the music. For example, the opening eruption of “Oi!” seems to be represented by a jagged cloud “explosion” symbol, but then what do the heart symbols mean? The lightning bolts? The boxes with arrows pointing up or down? Memo Cassette’s creations have a single sound source: the acousMemo Cassette tic guitar playing of Hans Nyman. His spontaneous flashes are Scores manipulated by the other three members—Sol Andersson, Ham(Nyr) pus Norén and Johannes Ahlberg—who each radically shape, chop, abuse, slow-down, speed-up and enhance the guitar sounds in numerous ways with their computers. Nyman is no stranger to extended guitar techniques and unconventional playing methods, such as scraping the strings to make an unnerving sound, pounding the wood of the guitar or striking the strings with a stick for sharp, percussive notes. His cohorts go nuts with the material at hand, making the songs lurch or sprint, bouncing the notes between the left and right channels, or echoing passages as if they were making some kind of art-damaged dub. Guitar noises are transformed to resemble other instruments, such as chimes or even brass instruments. Scores sounds like it could be the result of a fantasy cross between the electro-wizardry of Aphex Twin and guitarist Derek Bailey’s free improv. By far, the album’s most relatively accessible track is the closing “Tof,” which features pleasant finger-picked melodies instead of abstract guitar noodlings. Still, true to the group’s spirit, the tunes are fodder for unusual computer treatments. While abstract, difficult music can sometimes be wearying, Scores is notable for instead conveying excitement, nourishing the listener. Read more of Ernie Paik’s reviews online at chattanoogapulse.com.
14 • The Pulse • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
ACE
ARTS • CULTURE • ENTERTAINMENT
Money for Nothing friday 9:30 • saturday 10:30
By John DeVore even four years later, the causes of the 2008 financial crisis are endlessly debated. Corporate greed, irresponsible home owners and overly complex systems are common scapegoats for the masters of speculation. Inexplicably, even over-regulation by the government is targeted as a cause of the worst stock market crash since the Great Depression. The current recession, which hasn’t ended despite rumors to the contrary, has had far reaching consequences—consequences that have been devastating for a large portion of Americans. No one has gone to jail, no one has taken responsibility. The buck, as they say, has been passed from company to company, agency to agency, and the various explanations have fallen flat as unemployment stagnates, the housing market struggles and the gap between the rich and poor stretches ever wider. Last year, a very good film about the start of the crisis flew under the radar. “Margin Call” makes no accusations. It simply reveals the conditions present at one trading company that will ultimately have a powerful effect on future markets. The film gives a human face to the greed behind Wall Street, attempting to create sympathy for those who might not deserve it. And unlike the spiraling costs of the crisis, the film is now showing free on EPB Fi TV (and just debuted on Netflix). Money seems to be flowing easily at an unnamed Wall Street firm. While there have been layoffs, the company is strong and bonuses are large. As a group of young executives celebrate their survival in a cutthroat financial industry, Peter Sullivan (Zachary Quinto) is working late. He is a risk-management analyst, tasked with calculating complex equations to create profitability in the face of enormous gambles. On the day of the layoffs, he is handed a thumb
drive from his boss and told to be careful. What he discovers can lead to the destruction of the firm within hours. Soon, helicopters arrive, meetings are held and decisions are made. These decisions might save the company, but may doom the customer. What struck me most about the film is how the filmmakers manage to tell the story without explaining the situation. There is a definite hierarchy of bosses, with John Tuld (Jer-
“
Every so often, the world needs to be reminded that these contrivances of worth affect the world as powerfully as a natural disaster. emy Irons) at the top and Sam Rogers (Kevin Spacey) somewhere near the top. Tuld is clearly the CEO, but everyone else’s positions are somewhat murky. This helps develop the nebulous nature of the business itself. You have to work in the financial industry to have any understanding of how it operates. And yet, despite this hurdle, the filmmakers are successful in creating an engaging and thoughtprovoking drama. There is a particularly interesting scene where a broker explains how he spends his $2 million salary. His list isn’t that much different than mine—it’s just that his numbers are larger.
aug 17-18 JOHNNY MILLWATER Kevin Spacey (above) and Zachary Quinto star in “Margin Call.”
And that’s what makes “Margin Call” such an interesting film. Wall Street executives aren’t evil, necessarily, they’re just human. They spend what they make. They do the job they were trained to do. Even those at the top are just making arbitrary decisions. Those affected are just part of the numbers they manipulate every day. It isn’t until they are faced with the consequences of their manipulations that the implications become real. After all, they rationalize, it’s just money. It’s made up, they say. But these inventions of value affect the world even more greatly than other social inventions, like religion or morality. It seems that every so often, the world needs to be reminded that these contrivances of worth affect the world as powerfully as a natural disaster. I highly recommend checking it out. The performances are stellar, the subject matter important and the overall presentation satisfying. We need more films that are about something other than super heroes or love triangles.
aug 24-25 MIKE ARMSTRONG
COMING AUG. 30 one show only
saturday night live writer
HANNIBAL BURESS comedy central star
thu. 7 • fri. 7 sat. 5:30 & 8
138 MARKET • 423.517.1839
FUNNYDINNER.COM
full bar
chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 15
Arts & Entertainment
CALENDAR
Thu 08.16 Street Food Thursdays 11 a.m. Motor Court at Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St. warehouserow.net Birds of Prey 11 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn., Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com/birds Five for Five Thursdays at The Foundry 5 p.m. The Chattanoogan Hotel, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 266-5000 chattanooganhotel.com All-American Summer featuring The New Binkley Brothers 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org Film Chattanooga Seminar: The Art of Casting 6:30 p.m. Downtown YMCA, 301 W. 6th St. (423) 266-3766 ymcachattanooga.org Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jacksonville Suns 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com “Build Me A World” 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 chattanooga.gov Jon Reep 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com
fri 08.17 Fresh on Fridays 11 a.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 265-3700 rivercitycompany.com Nightfall: Eilen Jewell with The Long Gone Darlings 7 p.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St.
16 • The Pulse • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
“BUILD ME A WORLD” • Local filmmakers document a year in the challenging lives of students at the Howard School in Chattanooga in this free premiere of the film (reserve tickets online at buildmeaworld.com). Read more about the filmmakers and the film on Page 7. THU 08.16 • 7:30 p.m. • Tivoli Theatre • 709 Broad St. • (423) 757-5050 • chattanooga.gov
(423) 265-0771 nightfallchattanooga.com Nickajack Bat Cave Kayak Trip 7 p.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jacksonville Suns 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Jon Reep 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Little Country Giants CD release show with W.B. Givens & The Kid Carsons 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Johnny Millwater 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839
funnydinner.com Late Night Hoops! 10 p.m. Howard High School, 2500 S. Market St. (423) 643-6055 chattanoogahasfun.com
sat 08.18 Downtown Kayak Tour 9 a.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Hamilton County Minority Health Fair 7:30 & 9 a.m. Eastgate Town Center, 5600 Brainerd Road (423) 855-5570 health.hamiltontn.org Battlefield Bicycle Tour 9:30 a.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960 chattanoogamarket.com
Bessie Smith Heritage & Music Festival: Bessie’s Arts on “9th Street” 10 a.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org Ceramic Demonstration with Mary Lynn Portera 11 a.m. River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Summer Music Weekends: New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn., Ga. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com YPAC’s Annual Southern Soiree 7 p.m. Lindsay Street Hall, 901 Lindsay St. ypchattanooga.org Bessie Smith Heritage & Music Festival: Neo Soul Night 7 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther
tue 08.21 Tuesdays at Tony’s 11 a.m. Tony’s Pasta Shop & Trattoria, 212 High St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com Rapid Learning Roll Practice 5:30 p.m. Greenway Farms, 5051 Gann Store Road (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Live Team Trivia 7:30 p.m. BrewHaus, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 531-8490 chattanoogatrivia.com
wed 08.22
LITTLE COUNTRY GIANTS • This Rome, Ga., quartet have been called one of the most profoundly genuine Americana groups in the country. The band makes it triumphant return to Barking Legs behind their new album, “60 Grit.” W.B. Givens & The Kid Carsons open the show. FRI 08.17 • 8 p.m. • Barking Legs Theater • 1307 Dodds Ave. • (423) 624-5347 • barkinglegs.org
King Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Jacksonville Suns 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com von Grey 7:30 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Jon Reep 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Late Night Hoops! 10 p.m. Howard High School, 2500 S. Market St. (423) 643-6055 chattanoogahasfun.com Johnny Millwater 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com
sun 08.19
Downtown Kayak Tour 9 a.m. Outdoor Chattanooga, 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com Chattanooga Market: Live United 11 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. (423) 402-9960 chattanoogamarket.com Champagne Sunday Brunch 11 a.m. The Chattanoogan Hotel, 1201 S. Broad St. (423) 266-5000 chattanooganhotel.com Jazz Brunch with The Dave Walters Trio 11 a.m. 212 Market Restaurant, 212 Market St. (423) 265-1212 212market.com Summer Music Weekends: New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn., Ga.
(706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com Bessie Smith Heritage & Music Festival: Artist Talk with Jeff Lorber 3 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org Open Mic Night (All Ages) 6 p.m. The Blue Sun, Coolidge Park, 199 River St. (423) 322-9615 the-blue-sun.com Bessie Smith Heritage & Music Festival: Jazz Night 7 p.m. Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd. (423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org
mon 08.20 Chattanooga Monday Nite Big Band 7:30 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Road (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com
Johnny Cash Tribute Band 4 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Hotel, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 choochoo.com Main Street Farmer’s Market 4 p.m. 325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Chattanooga Night Market 5 p.m. Ross’s Landing, Chestnut Street & Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogamarket.com Wine Wednesdays 5 p.m. Back Inn Café, 412 East 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com Wine Down Wednesday 5 p.m. Broad Street Grille, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3700 chattanooganhotel.com Chattanooga Fashion Week: The Kickoff Party 5 p.m. Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St. (423) 267-1111 chattanoogafashionweek.com
Map these locations at chattanoogapulse. com. Send calendar listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.
chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 17
Sushi & Biscuits
MIKE MCJUNKIN
Dining at Dub’s 423.304.7829
WWW.CRAVECHATTANOOGA.COM
Join the Hippie Generation. Visit HippieRadio1069.com and become a member today!
18 • The Pulse • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
let’s face it—red bank is not exactly a hub of culinary delights. A tour of Dayton Boulevard is an increasingly depressing ride through a community that couldn’t support a Krystal and a Subway at the same time yet desperately wants to hold onto its identity as a once-thriving suburban community full of optimism, church suppers and Little League. Currently, there is less a food scene than a survivalist pantry full of MREs and generic canned vegetables vibe. Sure, there are a few little Mom and Padre places sprinkled among the meat-andthrees that have managed to survive. There’s also the ubiquitous Taco Bell, McDonald’s and Wendy’s trifecta of triglycerides, doing their duty in the circle jerk of obesity, poor nutrition and poverty that plagues burgs like Red Bank across the U.S. When faced with choices like these it’s hard not to get discouraged if you find yourself a bit peckish on this boulevard of broken dreams. Then there’s Jordan Miller. In almost any struggling community you can find at least one individual who looks past the decline and sees the vibrant, hungry people of that community who deserve better meals than the defrosted, over-processed food product that is now the norm for costconscious residents. In October 2011, Miller purchased the beloved Red Bank institution known as Dub’s Place with the intention of combining his years of culinary experience as a Johnson and Wales-trained, CFA-certified chef with his ebullient love for people to revitalize this once iconic ice cream shop. Located at 4408 Dayton Blvd., this small,
classic joint has been a part of the landscape of Red Bank since the early 1950s, when they offered the “coldest water in town.” This cold water was thanks to a repurposed still coil in their cooler that fed ice-cold water to a white porcelain fountain attached to the outside of the building. Anyone riding their Red Ryder or walking down the boulevard could stop, get a drink and hopefully grab a scoop of ice cream or a Crumble Burger on their way to the Red Bank Drive-In or a Little League game. Rather than use his culinary background to reimagine the classics, Miller dedicated his skills to refining and restoring the menu to its previous glory, with a few of his own personal touches thrown in for fun. The famous Crumble Burger is still being offered, but only after Miller put hours of work into reviving the original recipe and the original taste. If you’re unfamiliar with the Crumble Burger, it’s very similar to the “Maid-Rite” burger that’s popular in the Midwest; kind of a sloppy joe without the sauce. Even in a place like Dub’s, I am always on the lookout for something different, something you can’t get anywhere else, and if it involves charred animal flesh then I am immediately onboard. One of Miller’s unique
additions to the menu is the misleadingly named “Jerky Burger.” At first, I thought this might be some Jamaican-inspired disaster with pineapple, plantains and jerk seasoning. But this version is a juicy grilled burger with paper-thin strips of locally made beef jerky generously piled on top, similar to strips of bacon. You get a smoky and extra-beefy kick that layers nicely on top of the flavors of the burger along with the brightness of the fresh tomato, onion and lettuce. Be sure to try their hand-cut, twice-fried French fries with your burger. Blanching first, then cooking to order is an old but infrequently used technique that ensures crispiness on the outside and softness on the inside. For a serious fry lover it’s the only way to go. If you have a nostalgic place in your heart for Dub’s or diners of old, you will not be disappointed. If you’ve never heard of the place, pull your Red Ryder in under the flashing yellow arrow and sample one of Red Bank’s longest-running and tastiest institutions. But above all, keep eating local! Mike McJunkin cooks better than you and eats quite a lot of very strange food. Visit his Facebook page (Sushi and Biscuits) for updates and recipes.
Comix
BACK TO SCHOOL • $$$ BONUS! $$$
NEED EXTRA CASH? CHATTANOOGA’S #1 GOLD BUYER wants to give you MONEY for your jewelry! Get paid TOP-DOLLAR just like Rick’s thousands of satisfied customers!
WWW.RICKDAVISGOLDANDDIAMONDS.COM
RICK DAVIS GOLD & DIAMONDS 5301 Brainerd Rd at McBrien Rd • 423.499.9162
MORNINGS 6-10AM
chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 19
REDEFINE YOUR WEEKEND. REDEFINE YOUR PROPERTY. REDEFINE YOUR IMAGE. CALL US TODAY OR VISIT OUR WEBSITE TO START IMPROVING YOUR HOME
DOUBLE
YOUR MONEY
423.667.2662 REDEFININGLANDSCAPES.COM
GREEN IS OUR BUSINESS. WE RECYCLE.
S INDOW R-5VIDWE SIGNIFICAVNINTLY GS Y SA PRO -3 ENERG MORE A TYPICAL R THAN WINDOWS D E T RA
SAVE UP TO
$1,000
PURCHASE YOUR REPLACEMENT WINDOWS FROM ADVANTAGE AND WE WILL DOUBLE YOUR $500 TVA ENERGYRIGHT SOLUTIONS REBATE!
99
R-5 Window Upgrade Trade-In 5 Windows.........$495 10 Windows.......$990 15 Windows.....$1485
$
Not valid with any other offer. Valid only with coupon. Expires 8/31/12
6-FOOT FRENCH PATIO DOORS
WITH INTERIOR BLINDS
1295
WAS $1795 $ NOW ONLY
Not valid with any other offer. Valid only with coupon. Expires 8/31/12
(423) 822-2353
FREE IN-HOME ESTIMATE 3709 BRAINERD RD. • ADVANTAGEWINDOWS.COM
20 • The Pulse • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
Free Will Astrology LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): One of history’s most notorious trials took place in Athens, Greece, in 399 BCE. A majority of 501 jurors convicted the philosopher Socrates of impiety and of being a bad influence on young people. What were the impious things he did? “Failing to acknowledge the gods that the city acknowledges” and “introducing new deities.” And so the great man was sentenced to death. This is a good reminder that just because many people believe something is true or valuable or important doesn’t mean it is. That’s especially crucial for you to keep in mind. You are in a phase when it might be wise and healthy to evade at least one popular trend. Groupthink is not your friend. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): With all the homework you’ve done lately, you’ve earned a lot of extra credit. So I’m thinking you’ll get a decent grade in your unofficial “crash course” even if you’re a bit sleepy during your final exam. But just in case, I’ll provide you with a mini cheat sheet. Here are the right answers to three of the most challenging test questions. 1. People who never break anything will never learn how to make lasting creations. 2. A mirror is not just an excellent tool for self-defense, but also a tremendous asset in your quest for power over yourself. 3. The less you hide the truth, the smarter you’ll be. LIBRA
(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The Hubble Space Telescope has taken 700,000 photos of deep space. This miraculous technology got off to a rough start, however. Soon after its launch, scientists realized that there was a major flaw in its main mirror. Fortunately, astronauts were eventually able to correct the problem in a series of complex repair jobs. It’s quite possible, Libra, that you will benefit from a Hubble-like augmentation of your vision in the next nine months. Make sure there are no significant defects in the fundamentals of your big expansion.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): To some people, sweating is regarded as an indelicate act that should be avoided or hidden. But there are others for whom sweating is a sign of health and vigor. In Egyptian culture, for example, “How do you sweat?” is a common salutation. I encourage you to align yourself with the latter attitude. It won’t be a time to try to impress anyone with how cool and dignified you are. Rather, success is more likely to be yours if you’re
rob brezsny
not only eager to sweat but also willing to let people see you sweat. Exert yourself. Extend yourself. Show how much you care.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “Whatever I take, I take too much or too little; I do not take the exact amount,” wrote poet Antonio Porchia. “The exact amount is no use to me.” I suggest you try adopting that bad-ass attitude in the coming days, Sagittarius. Be a bit contrarian, but with humor and style. Doing so would, I think, put you in sweet alignment with the impish nature of the vibes swirling in your vicinity. If you summon just the right amount of devil-may-care jauntiness, you’ll be likely to get the most out of the cosmic jokes that will unfold. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): What is the longest-running lie in your life? Maybe it’s a deception you’ve worked long and hard to hide. Maybe it’s a delusion you’ve insisted on believing in. Or perhaps it’s just a wish you keep thinking will come true one day even though there’s scant evidence it ever will. Whatever that big drain on your energy is, Capricorn, now would be a good time to try changing your relationship with it. I can’t say for sure that you’ll be able to completely transform it overnight. But if you marshal a strong intention, you will be able to get the process underway. AQUARIUS
(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): You may have heard the theory that somewhere there is a special person who is your other half—the missing part of you. Personally, I don’t buy it. The experiences of everyone I’ve ever known suggest there are many possible soulmates for each of us. So here’s my variation on the idea: Any good intimate relationship generates an “angel”—a spirit that the two partners create together. This is an excellent time for you to try out this hypothesis, Aquarius. As you interact with your closest ally, imagine that a third party is with you: your mutual angel.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the coming weeks, you’ll be wise to shed your emotional baggage and purge your useless worries and liberate yourself from your attachments to the old days and the old ways. But don’t hide away in a dark corner feeing vulnerable and sensitive and stripped bare. Rather, situate yourself in the middle of a fertile hub and prepare to consort with new playmates, unexpected adventures, and interesting blessings.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): These days you have a knack for reclamation and redemption, Aries. If anyone can put fun into what’s dysfunctional, it’s you. You may even be able to infuse neurotic cluelessness with a dose of erotic playfulness. So be confident in your ability to perform real magic in tight spots. Be alert for opportunities to transform messy irrelevancy into sparkly intrigue. By the way, how do you feel about the term “resurrection”? I suggest you strip away any previous associations you might have had, and be open to the possibility that you can find new meanings for it. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The game of tic-tac-toe is simple. Even young children can manage it. And yet there are 255,168 different ways for any single match to play out. The game of life has far more variables than tic-tac-toe, of course. I think that’ll be good for you to keep in mind in the coming weeks. You may be tempted to believe that each situation you’re dealing with can have only one or two possible outcomes, when in fact it probably has at least 255,168. Keep your options wide open. Brainstorm about unexpected possibilities. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Let’s turn our attention to the word “mortar.” I propose that we use it to point out three influences you could benefit from calling on. Here are the definitions of “mortar”: 1. a kind of cannon; 2. the plaster employed for binding bricks together; 3. a bowl where healing herbs are ground into powder. Now please meditate, Gemini, on anything you could do that might: 1. deflect your adversaries; 2. cement new unions; 3. make a container—in other words, create a specific time and place—where you will work on a cure for your suffering. CANCER
(June 21-July 22): Nirvana’s song “Smells Like Teen Spirit” was a mega-hit that sold well and garnered critical acclaim. But it had a difficult birth. When Kurt Cobain first presented the raw tune to the band, bassist Krist Novoselic disliked it and called it “ridiculous.” Cobain pushed back, forcing Novoselic and drummer Dave Grohl to play it over and over again for an hour and a half. In the course of the ordeal, the early resistance dissolved. Novoselic and Grohl even added their own touches to the song’s riffs. I foresee a similar process for you in the coming week. Give a long listen to an unfamiliar idea that doesn’t grab you at first.
Jonesin’ Crossword
matt jones
Across
1. McMuffin ingredients 5. Canterbury title 15. Bunches 16. Little shaver 17. Hybrid pickup with really low visibility? 19. It’s scored on a second roll 20. Torah repositories 21. Seabird that can be “sooty” 22. D.C. United’s org. 24. Minuscule 25. ISP that used to mail free trial discs 28. It may feature a store from a mile away 33. Hybrid car that floats in the ocean? 39. Morales of “NYPD Blue” and “La Bamba” 40. New York city on the Mohawk 41. Depend (on) 42. Hybrid car with a really old sound system? 45. Land speed record holder 46. Pallid 47. Comedian Kennedy 51. She was Dorothy on “The Golden Girls”
53. “Supermodified” DJ ___ Tobin 54. Catch-y item? 58. Trash-talker on daytime TV? 62. Hybrid car that runs a few seconds, then stops, then runs again, then stops again...? 65. Get past the highs and lows 66. “Right Now (Na Na Na)” rapper 67. Classification for comfortable jeans or shirts 68. Salt’s performing partner, in a 1980s hip-hop group
Down
1. “Good ___” (Alton Brown show) 2. Unidentifiable stuff on a cafeteria tray 3. “Saturn Devouring His Son” painter 4. It may be a-brewin’ 5. Legendary Notre Dame coach Parseghian 6. ___-tat-tat 7. Russian ruler, once 8. Pawn
9. Super Mario ___ 10. Company behind Deep Blue and Watson 11. Blue-gray shade 12. Tony-winning actress Uta ___ 13. Junkyard emanations 14. Flower once a national emblem of China 18. Where many fans watch football games 23. Heaps, as in loving or missing someone 24. College URL ender 25. Banda ___ (city devastated by the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami) 26. Pretentious phrase of emphasis 27. Meat market specification 29. “Stretch Limousine on Fire” folk rocker ___ Curtis 30. Word repeated in Duran Duran’s “Rio” 31. Permissible 32. 1981 Genesis album that’s also a rhyme scheme 34. Kid-___ (G-rated movies)
35. Hockey legend Bobby 36. Yelp of sudden pain 37. Jazz legend Fitzgerald 38. Actress Cannon 43. It may be worth one in the hand 44. “Street-smart kid moves to Newport Beach” FOX series 47. Bad guy in “Aladdin” 48. “Bust ___” (hit for Young MC) 49. Spongy-looking mushroom variety 50. Hindu god of war 52. Musician’s rights gp. 54. Buster Brown’s dog 55. Netflix founder Hastings 56. Since 57. Watermelon seed spitting noise 59. “Motorcade of Generosity” band 60. Perched upon 61. “Mazes and Monsters” novelist Jaffe 63. Get the picture across? 64. MCI competitor, way back when
Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0585.
BREWER MEDIA IS HIRING
“Hybrid Cars”—I wouldn’t drive these, though.
Account Executive Account Executive (Chattanooga) Position Available at Brewer Media Permanent Full-Time
Brewer Media wants YOU! We’re seeking talented Sales Account Executives to join our high-performing team in print and online media sales. You will be responsible for hunting out new leads, making fancy presentations, managing existing accounts and selling new business. The ideal candidate has been a successful sales person, loves Chattanooga, and excels in cultivating relationships with area businesses. Qualified candidates will possess: Excellent written and verbal command of the English language; Organization of time with a laser-focus attention to detail, plus amazing follow through; audience- and needsbased selling approach (and knowing what that means); Outgoing and influential personality with a positive attitude (save your drama for your momma); Ability to generate your own business and to think creatively for clients. The position offers you product training, a base salary plus commission on all sales, bonuses, and the ability to get free passes to events! We also have a few radio stations you can represent as well. To be considered, please email a cover letter, resume, and salary history to : Mike Baskin: mikebaskin@brewermediagroup.com Subject: “Sales Job” The Pulse Advantage: With the most comprehensive news, arts and entertainment coverage in Chattanooga, The Pulse has become the most reliable media resource for an extremely diverse readership. Each and every week, more than 30,000 active, educated, affluent and highly influential consumers make many of their purchasing decisions based on advertisements they see on the pages of The Pulse.
Brewer Media is an Equal Opportunity Employer.
chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 21
Whoever you are, wherever you are on life’s journey... You’re welcome here.
Pilgrim Congregational Church United Church of Christ
Sunday Worship 11am 400 Glenwood Drive at 3rd Street pilgrim-church.com • (423) 698-5682
Liberal • Progressive • Inclusive • Protestant Church
22 • The Pulse • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com
Life in the Noog
chuck crowder
Small Town Insecurity unless you turn off the television after watching the hit amc show “Breaking Bad,” then you’ve been exposed to a new reality show airing Sunday nights called “Small Town Security.” The show documents the haphazard yet humorous daily goings on at a security guard company located in Ringgold, Ga. (our not-so-distant cousin to the South). You’d think a reality show about security guards would feature a lot of scenes filmed on location at various properties being secured, with break-ins thwarted by guards with razor-sharp instincts or just plain luck, and/or funnier encounters of the firm’s lazier badge brothers getting caught sleeping (or worse) on the job. There are so many possible angles that could make this storyline another “COPS” of some sort. But the stars of “Small Town Security” don’t have to leave the lobby of their small office to deliver everything you’d tune in to a reality show for—and more. As real as it can be, JJK Security in Ringgold is owned and operated by Captain Irwin Koplan and his wife Joan, who everyone refers to simply as “Chief.” Both are likely in their 60s, and they settled in North Georgia after a series of events that found each in very interesting scenarios around the country over the years. In the first episode they tell their rambunctious love story in which the Chief was an aspiring—and rightly so, from the old photographs shown are any gauge—fashion model who was chased and finally apprehended by the debonair Captain. These days, the Chief has traded in her runway pumps for a pair of sweatpants and an unladylike mouth that would make a
sailor blush. She rules the roost with a no-nonsense, take-no-prisoners approach to managing her guards. The Captain, in charge of managing the firm’s accounts, is a quiet man with quite possibly the loudest wardrobe in the South and a penchant for trying out every shade of hair color Just For Men has to offer. The office staff also includes Brian Taylor, the office manager who holds it all together, and Christa Stephens, the office secretary (and licensed cosmetologist). The most interesting character on the show, however, is Lieutenant Dennis Croft, a man who has transgendered from the woman he used to be. He resides in the office’s stock room to exemplify his dedicated round-the-clock work ethic, although he’s even more dedicated to the Chief, with whom he’s notso-secretly been in love for years. The show revolves around the ensemble hanging out in the office’s lobby discussing topics ranging from sex and masturbation to the stick the Captain uses to break up his number two’s prior
to flushing, while shop dog Lambchop humps the Chief’s leg more often than not. Now if this isn’t enough, a recent episode featured the Captain’s cousin, local broadcasting and advertising legend Neil Miller. Having worked with Neil in the past I know how ridiculously funny he could be, but even his crazy, offthe-cuff comments had trouble competing with the hilarity JJK staffers dish out without even trying. In fact, the show is so painfully funny and entertaining that it makes shows like the “Real Housewives,” “Jersey Shore” and “Jerseylicous” seem like spin-offs of the “Andy Griffith Show.” While I initially cringed at the thought of how the show would further perpetuate the backwardsass southern stereotype, I’ve embraced it as a friendly nod to how truly unique, special and loveable the South can be when it’s portrayed in its truest sense. And when it’s inevitably up for a few Emmy’s, “Small Town Security” will have shown the world that “Real Housewives” are just a bunch of whiny bitches who secretly wish they were half as genuine as anyone at JJK Security. It’s totally reality TV worth watching. Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are his own.
Wednesday, august 22 EmErGING DESIGNEr SHOWCASE
CHATTANOOGA FASHION WEEK AUGUST 22-25
thursday, august 23 FASHION rOW FEATUrING EmBELLISH, KAYCE HUGHES, rHINOCErOS, ELLIE’S FINE LINGErIE & COSmETIC mArKET Friday, august 24 THE SWImWEAr COLLECTION AND THE mEN’S SHOW saturday, august 25 THE GrAND FINALE FEATUrING THE SOUTH’S FINEST DESIGNErS
WWW.ChattanOOgaFashiOnWeeK.COM FOr SPONSOr, DESIGNEr & VENDOr OPPOrTUNITIES CALL 865-680-7727
chattanoogapulse.com • AUG. 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 23