A MUSS THOUGHTS ARTICLE
2018
Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
I dedicate this article to the Anglimethosoc, Methosoc and all the millennials.
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
Acknowledgements Firstly I give thanks to the Almighty for the life and strength I have in sharing my thoughts. Secondly I extend my acknowledgements to my family the Musariri. Thirdly it is my pleasure to acknowledge all the Muss Thoughts readers and all my friends for the support and encouragement. BSIM class of 2014 – 2017 @ CUT, Anglimethosoc, M.C.Z, Methosoc, Chinhoyi University, MUTERO High School.
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
Never fight for what is not yours, but never cry if you did not fight for what was yours.
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
Abstract Little things to know before marriage is an article that tries to explore and correct the misunderstanding of general facts basing on the views by the author. Marriage has been there since BC in which the meaning and the context is deteriorating so as love. The article defines the definitions and explore some myths that are well known in the love context as well as bringing in new models to the world of love that can act as guidelines to follow a better path.
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
Table of Contents Dedication.………………………………………………………………………………………………………i Abstract ………………………………………………………………………………………………………..iii DEFINITION OF KEY WORDS ..................................................................................... 1 1.1 What is marriage?.................................................................................................... 1 1.2 What is love? ............................................................................................................ 1 2.0 What is marriage material? ................................................................................... 2 2.1 General qualities of a great couple ......................................................................... 2 2.2 Boys and Girls characters ...................................................................................... 2 3.0 WHO ARE THE PARTIES INVOLVED IN MARRIAGE? ....................................... 3 3.1 Primary parties ........................................................................................................ 3 3.2 Secondary parties .................................................................................................... 6 3.3 Tertiary parties ....................................................................................................... 7 4.0 What brings up marriage? .....................................................................................8 4.1 Love/ Courtships and Marriages theories and myths ..........................................8 4.1.1 Love is blind........................................................................................................... 9 4.1.2 Love at first sight ................................................................................................. 9 4.1.3 Soulmate existence ............................................................................................. 10 4.1.4 You can only love once ........................................................................................ 11 4.1.5 No formula for love ............................................................................................. 11 4.1.6 Dreams and visions in love ................................................................................. 11 4.1.7 Marriage a blessing or a curse. ......................................................................... 12 4.2 Love and infatuation feelings ............................................................................... 12 4.2.1 FEELINGS TREND.............................................................................................. 14 4.3 Feelings Trend model explanation and analysis ................................................. 14 4.3.1 Beginning stage .................................................................................................. 17 4.3.2 Love proposal stage ........................................................................................... 18 4.3.3 Waiting stage ..................................................................................................... 18 4.3.4 Decision stage.....................................................................................................20
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
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4.3.5 Early Couple stage ............................................................................................. 21 4.3.6 Mid Couple stage ................................................................................................ 21 4.3.7 Late Couple stage ............................................................................................... 21 4.3.8 Marriage proposal stage ................................................................................... 22 4.3.9 Marriage stage ................................................................................................... 22 4.3.10 Early Marriage stage ....................................................................................... 23 4.3.11 Mid Marriage stage ........................................................................................... 23 4.3.12 Late Marriage stage.......................................................................................... 23 4.3.13 End stage ........................................................................................................... 23
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
DEFINITION OF KEY WORDS 1.1 What is marriage? Marriage is a state or condition of two people who have been matrimonially joined. It is marital status that one obtains and involves the unity or joint of two families which is a result of two people of opposite sex that will becoming one while they are from different families. 1.2 What is love? Love is a feeling that is a positive emotion of regard or affection that grows. Love is a conditioned emotional response that usually develops and in the contest of marriage between two opposite sex. The definition of love lies within the contest of the type of love being defined. What all other definitions have in common is the warn affection or devotion that can include sexual desires or not. Love have different types that includes the following -: Agape love – selfless love of one person for another without sexual implications (especially love that is spiritual in nature) Read 1 John 3:11, I John 4:7. Calf love/ puppy love/ crush/ infatuation - temporary feelings for an adolescence. Filial love – Feelings for a child to a parent Romantic love – A deep feeling that last for long that is emotional and exist between two opposite sex and if grown involves sexual desires. This is the love that is discussed in this article. 2.0 What is marriage material? A person whom one believes will make a great spouse with. The definition to who is the marriage material is determined by the qualities one searches for in a spouse.
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
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Although these qualities are a result of individual assessment, these individuals do not leave in isolation or vacuums which makes the secondary and tertiary parties (as defined in the 3.0) to play a role. The contribution of those external parties brings in the issue of personal views being affected by what the family and society says although the final decision will be individual. In most cases a marriage material spouse is a partner which one believes will suit him or her. In most cases other people normally brings a contradiction to the intervention of other people which they base on views such as love is for two people. The extent to which they stress this point is what I do not agree due to the importance of society within our daily life. 2.1 General qualities of a great couple According to the results I gathered from social media discussions and questions posed to certain individuals, the general qualities of a great couple includes (these are the general but not all have been included here) Believes in one religion
Prays together
Communicates
Full of respect for each other
Friendship
Closeness,
Full commitment both
Patience
Trust
Loyalty
Forgiveness
Maturity
2.2 Boys and Girls characters Boys and girls are supposed to possess the above and also add the below things as a way to be admirable. Smart,
Caring,
Humble,
Intelligent,
Business minded,
Respect
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Open to suggestion
Punctual,
Gentle without pride,
Promising,
Admirable,
Confidence
Less demanding,
Not material,
Less talkative
Decent,
Musariri Brian
3.0 WHO ARE THE PARTIES INVOLVED IN MARRIAGE? Marriage also respects the law of external parties for it is a matrimonial institution that exists not in the isolation. There are so many parties that are involved in the marriage institutes which are grouped into three that is the primary, secondary and tertiary parties. Their value is determined by the class so as their importance. 3.1 Primary parties These are the parties that make it happen. The primary class involves God and two spouses that are of different sex (Leviticus 18:22) and from different families (Leviticus 18:6, Genesis 2:24). The marriage that comes with God in the middle do not allow same sex union. Relationships that have God are the best especially if He is on the middle and top as shown in the Perfect Blessed Relationship triangle below Perfect Blessed Relationship triangle (PBR triangle) GOD
Partner 1
Partner 2
The PBR Triangle states that there are three main parties that makes a strong and ongoing relationship or marriage. The model puts God between and on top of the two involved partners. The relationship is spearheaded by God as everything is designed by the creator (Gen 1:1a). The model reduces the efforts and involvement of both parties in the relationship as they have a guider (Thus finding the direction).
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
The relationship is a triangular while only two sides are supposed to be of same length and maintained as such which is God to partner 1 and God to partner 2 (Isosceles triangle). If these distances are not equal or almost equal it becomes complicated for it will be unbalanced as shown in the diagram below (Imperfect Blessed Relationship triangle) The distance from partner 1 to partner 2 must be much longer than the distance to God. This allows a room for both partners to be closer to God than they are as lovers. Imperfect Blessed Relationship triangle (IBR triangle) This category lies within different types that can be found involving God but not being properly positioned within the triangle. a)
b) God
Partner 1
Partner 2
God Partner 1 c) God
Partner 2 d)
Partner 1
Partner 1 Partner 2
God
Partner 2
In the diagram presented in a) is another form of an IBR triangle which have two partners who are close to each other more than they are to God although they acknowledge His presence in their union. The main challenge here is the distance in
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which God to partners is presented. The IBR triangle can also be a relationships whereby two partners are a distance from each other but close to God however with God being positioned at the bottom of them. This can be illustrated by the diagram b). Whether the partners are close or not between them the main problem is the position God is located. Again as said from the beginning of this section the IBR triangle comes with different shapes the c) diagram illustrates God being the head while the distances to partners varies. One partner will be close to God while the other is a distance away. The main point of focus is the unbalance between the ways they view God which brings the misunderstanding in future pertaining to principles. Lastly the d) triangle indicates one of the partner being the head while God and the other partner are below. This is an IBR due to the wrong position of God in the relationship. Most of these relationships have dictators who will be a distance from God or even not believing in Him. Self-Guided Relationship (SGR) SGI is a classification of those people who do not believe in the existence of God in their relationships. These are partner’s relationships with only two people partner 1 and partner 2. These relationships are only in two dimensions in which it maybe horizontal a) (where they value themselves the same) or vertical b) (where one partner is superior to the other) a) Partner 1
Partner 2
b) Partner 1 Partner 2
3.2 Secondary parties The category is made up of both family the partner 1 and the partner 2. These families constitutes the parents, brothers and the sisters as well as others that are related. There are two categories of these secondary parties thus internal and
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Musariri Brian
external secondary parties. Internal secondary parties involves immediate family members of both parties. Internal Secondary Relationship triangle (ISR) Parents
Brothers
Sisters
The above ISR represents the blood related family member who are close to the partners who are in marriage. These people usually include the immediate family members thus the parents who must be on top of the brothers and the sisters. These includes both partners and the distance they have does not matter as long as they are considered. External Secondary Relationship triangle (ESR) Grandparents
Uncles and Aunties
Other family members Under the ESR above is the family, in which both families are considered. Their order of importance is of key to a successful marriage. By virtue of culture Grandparents are known for consultancy as well as uncles and aunties so they hold the upper hand while the rest occupy the lower band.
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
This makes it easy to handle while both ISR and ESR fall within the same category of Secondary parties it is important to distinguish them when dealing with matters of marriage and love. 3.3 Tertiary parties Many people have failed it at this point as they mix the parties and positions which is so embarrassing to say the third parties are given the first upper hand in decisions above primary or secondary parties. Marriages are being destroyed mainly by this last segment of parties. It might look confusing but not, as it have the Church, friends and the society. The Church runs the head while friends and the society are at the base. To clarify here, the Church here includes organisations within the Church, superiors such as Pastors, Deacons, Preachers, Evangelist, and Prophets taking for example. Under the friends sections, these are after family relations made which might be out of similarities in totems, goals, work and neighbours taking for example. The society classification encompasses your work, the town you live in, the location you are in, and people around you. The diagram below TR, illustrate the setup and importance order. Tertiary Relationship triangle (TR) Church
Friends
Society
The parties’ triangle that are involved have one thing in common that they all add up to one triangle. This triangle is indicated in the diagram below as the PR triangle.
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
It is made up of four different triangles and can be used as the best way to create the best out of your marriage. Parties Relationship triangle (PR)
PBR Priangle ESR Triangle ISR Triangle
TR Triangle
4.0 What brings up marriage? Marriage is a product of a successful courtship that has been builded in such a way that primary parties are considered as presented form the PBR triangle. It is made out of love and not lust nor infatuation. Marriage as defined in this article from the first it is also an agreement for two souls to unite with God being the head for the rest of their lives. Primary, secondary and tertiary parties brings up marriage in order of their importance. Hence marriage is a product of love. 4.1 Love/ Courtships and Marriages theories and myths There are certain proclaimed theories in our day to day lives that had been said or still being said about love courtships and marriages which sounds ridiculous. Some of these myths have brought misunderstanding to what is marriage and some even inserting fear if not losing hope of so many aspiring singles and couples. Below are some of them as they trend, some carrying big names on them of authors and advisors who are blind folded or who make use of emotions rather than the truth in their advice and counselling.
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
4.1.1 Love is blind Love has never and will never be blind. People who believes love is blind and one can only see once married are those that have failed to make right choices the time they were about to get married. All those that understand love as a feeling understand that all feelings can be controlled the same way people do when abstaining from sex. To love someone is not to praise and fail to open eyes and make investigations about whom you are about to take a walk with. Even if the feeling and all other trends are falling to the right side you have been praying for it is not a ticket for you to allow love to blind you to the extent that you only notice the best and nothing wrong you see. Marriage is a journey and it needs people who put much of their concentration as a way to avoid misjudgements and errors for it is a life time thing not a temporary measure. The major mistake is to fall in love. Why fall? Feel for someone and get it starting. If you fall definitely no time to see. 4.1.2 Love at first sight One of the oldest myths that have existed and been believed by many up to the today generation. To stay away from criticisms most of the writers have been giving this myths a black eye and failed to open up on how this myth mislead people. There is nothing such as love at first sight. Love grows as claimed from the beginning of this article. Love does not strike at once but crush does. Crush can grow to become true love but it does not support the fact that crush is the true love that can make up a marriage neither a love relationship. Most of these incidents includes where males and females meet in public places, buses, taxis, food outlets and other places and have their chit chatting end up calling it love at first sight which is not. First thing that people must know is that environments are also key players in inducing temporary feelings (infatuation) thus why people of opposite sex who have nothing in common can end up having sex or playing romantically if there are left in quiet
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places with steady temperatures or a little of decoration. These are results that can clearly indicate the existence of these fantasies which are not for love and most likely these people part ways soon after they have calmed their fantasies. Nature feelings and make test if the heart fonts for each other through distance and other things like trust, care and loyalty without being assigned nor forced. 4.1.3 Soulmate existence Soulmate a topic that is more controversial to the writers so as to the readers. Some propose soulmate exist in horoscope movies not on reality while most believe they do exist but generally their implications are what people must know and the definition of them is of key importance. A soulmate is someone whom soul come into one’s life to awaken someone’s soul or teach a lesson to the soul that is in need. According to Pamela Dussault of Passage to Inner Joy this person can be a family member, friend, someone you desire, romantic partner or even your parent. It is that feeling that is euphoric and enchanting and a moment you just cannot stop thinking about them. Some of the key things people must know is these soul mates are not all destined to last for some they are there for short periods. Basing on the definitions used in this article of soulmates, they are there for a purpose which means if their purpose are fulfilled they go. If people are looking for those soulmate as in poems, horoscope movies they may fail to identify soulmates in their lives until they quit to search and end up claiming their non-existence 4.1.4 You can only love once One example of fear that most of the people insert in most of the people especially first time lovers that love is a once off thing and nothing will remain or exist after they lose it. Love grows as stated from first hence even if its cut off it will still grow as from the first. Basically one person can love as many as one can lost count. Yes pains can be strong and evident with love but they cannot stop nor bar the feelings
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Musariri Brian
to grow. Relationships in which one part is not willing or uncomfortable of the ongoing things, one can move on to search for another partner without any challenges pertaining to his or her feelings. 4.1.5 No formula for love To begin with this article have been documented with ideas of an individual as supported by other references and real life events and it is not a guideline or formula of love or marriage. Love on its own have no formula so as most of the disciplines in social sciences. Love is the most complicated discipline in which most of the people are now losing faith in due to the lack of proper guidance and theories that can help them to walk the journey. What exists are views and opinions of people that have their bases real events and have worked for other people. 4.1.6 Dreams and visions in love This is one of the things Christians preach of but never believed in due to certain circumstances that they face in the day to day love life (Joel 2:28, Acts 2:17). If the Bible says a good wife comes from God, and if people believes their prayers can be answered hence dreaming or seeing vision of your future love is possible. If one prays with faith that is backed by action revelations can be obtained. One thing I am sure of is if Joseph was told by the Angel to remain with Marry then why not us in todays to receive this kind of information (Matthew 1:20). I have encountered so many who had inspired me through their prayer life as they had been praying for their partners in which God answered their prayers. The inspirational I got made me to inspire the world from these. 4.1.7 Marriage a blessing or a curse. According to the Gospels (Christianity), marriage is a sacred that is blessed and it is supposed to also yield everything that is fruitful both to the soul and to the flesh of the involved parties (Proverbs 18:22). We normally encounter such situations
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Musariri Brian
whereby we meet victims of love testifying how they regret getting involved in such a thing as marriage. These people now holds a negative perspective towards marriage as they view it as a curse which is not. So many young people are now afraid of the marriage setup as they now believe investing in someone for marriage is a waste of time. Love cast out fear as the Bible claims so I do believe those that focus on the negative will never experience love because they are in a pool of fear (1 John 4:18). Marriage is and will never be a curse to whosoever wants to make such move as it came as a solution to avoid fornication in other words if you read 1 Corinthians 7:2. Read Proverbs 5.18 4.2 Love and infatuation feelings This section is a quite complicated and cumbersome as the two have a thin line that separates them. Love is the feeling that last for long while infatuation are temporary feelings that do not make anything tangible. Most of the millennial children do not understand the boundaries if not the difference between love and infatuation. Most of the youths have become materialistic in their so called relationships which is not. If research is to be conducted on the marriages of these millennials I do believe most of them are situation ships, yes due to events that happened pregnancy, materials, sex and others. In most cases if the situation looks different those situation ships they crack and collapse. At the end they are the same people who will run around claiming marriages to be hard and difficult to bring up. Infatuation is the key to these unions that just happen without bases. Most of the people who hook up in public places, transport exchange numbers two days down the line they cohabitate and call it marriage normally the ends are heart breaks. These are the people who believe in myths such as love at first sight. Infatuation and lust are the same for they have nothing that last. Crushing on someone is not a problem but my advice is dating
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your crush is a high risk move in the world of love. There are reasons that I normally do not support people to date their crush partners. - Your expectations will be high and you might be disappointed - Mostly thus infatuation and not love hence it will vanish upon the start - Heart breaks of crushes are more painful than crush pains - You crush for someone who does not even have any type of feeling - Normally there is no time to study the partner With the knowledge and understanding I gathered around, love is something that can be traced and monitored as according to the Feelings Trends model. The model presents the marriage journey that starts from the friendship stage where a better rapport has been established. The Feelings Trends of a couple is drawn after calculating the average of each part’s trend but does not change any stage or zone within the frame. This stage lies before any other affections has been shown. The model has assumptions that it works on which are as follows -: 1. Strong marriages starts from the friendship stage. 2. Infatuation and true/real feelings are different 3. Love feelings are key to successful marriages 4. Material things boost the infatuation line not the true feelings line 5. True feelings grow at reasonable pace while infatuation can be fast and drop at any time.
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4.2.1 FEELINGS TREND KEY Infatuation 1 Infatuation 2 Love feelings 1 Love feelings 2
DELUSIONAL PARTNER
HAPLY MARRIAGE
MARRIAGE
COURTSHIP
FAMILY FRIENDSHIP
GENERAL/ASSOCIATE
STRANGER
ENEMY
4.3 Feelings Trend model explanation and analysis The Feelings Trends is an assumption trends that have been obtained from real life events that have been done through a deep analysis. This model is one of the basic models that helps both parties pertaining male and female on key issues that exist between them at different times and places in their interactions. The model (FT) presents a dynamical changes that happen within two people from different gender, their interactions before and after different stages of life as group in the diagrammatic model. This model clearly presents the two main actors that are best known to be contributors to marriage as well as confusing to most of the
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people who end up disappointed in love. It is of best interest for one to try edit this model as long as keeping in mind that the two elements exist. To make it clear, the model best work with the average of both parties (if all the levels from the single units which are individual graphs are combined their total’s and divided by two.) FT model brings in the better picture of the real life context that involve all human interactions and the titles each holds as true feelings that can sustain two people to a mutual understanding. The model is easy to implement to both parties that is males and females. This model is not only a useful tool to those that are single (searching for long lasting love) but also for those that are in marriage already as they can use it as a tool to measure their progress and estimate possibilities. Each category holds a certain percentage that basically relates to it and all of the listed categories adds up to 100%. The actions being done by participants revives over the period from being unknown to the end (where reunion will be impossible due to different reason such as death, distance, hatred etc.) Generally according to the FT model, courtships that are being channelled to marriages that lasts are supposed to start from the friendship stage. This calls for two people to move from strangers to the associate levels where it will be easy for them to know each other better. A rapport is drawn and this will be the moment texting and greetings will be done. The enemy level constitutes a 0-9%. When someone is titled an enemy what makes people to be able to forgive is the percentage of love that will be still within oneself. It is rare to find someone totally blank to 0% for someone. This may sound weird but the human aspect is also governed by instincts and conscience that will allow you to help an enemy if you saw him struggling for his/her life.
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The Stranger level is constructed of the 10- 19% of feelings. Its showed by the way we do to those people we meet in streets daily. The near it is to 19 the more we are kind to strangers. General or Associate level is made up of feelings of the 20 -39%. It is one of the two broad categories for it constitutes a lot of our daily interactions with different people. This is the stage that stretches from neighbours, school mates, work mates. The interaction here is not of people who have never met but of people who know each other at a shallow level. Fourthly, the friendship level (popularly known as friendship zone) is a 40-49% level and it is the point where interactions are possibly named to be at medium. A lot is shared within this stage and also comfort is endured as well as trust. Just above the friendship stage there is the family level (popularly termed family zone). This the stage that is attained with a 50% to 59%. Most of the interactions and terms relates of a brother, sister, uncle way. 60% - 69% is the courtship level. This stage involves a high based interactions that are full of trust, commitment, communication and also mentorship. As the graph continues, the 70% to 89% as it looks to be a big category again it is the Marriage level. This stage or zone is one that many must study and understand the FT. Two parties will be joining their lives together for the better and for the worse. It is known to be a life time commitment that most believes to be complicated although it is not. To some they ended here and never experienced a lifetime medal of resting within the last stage of two soul that have been knitted together. 90 – 99% is a dream for most people and some have made conclusions that it exist within movies and
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horoscopes which is not a true for it exist. This is the happily married couple level, a life of two souls that exist with their differences but happily without doubt. What the FT model agrees to is if people are different then the claim no one is perfect sounds better for what one thinks is good someone does not like it. Hence the 100% up to infinity lies the delusional partner level where the desired and dreamed partners who are perfect in everything with no errors nor challenges to face. 4.3.1 Beginning stage The first move is to be near if not within the friendship level when it comes to the true feelings while the infatuations must be dazzling within the happily married zone. This is where both parties will be expecting a life time partner whom they will be with happily. Infatuations at this point do not brings in the applicability of what will be being dreamt of but rather being boosted by expectations of society or family. The true feelings will be governed by the applicability, fear of heartbreaks and unexpected character changes. It is the point where true love will be far away from infatuations which will be leading and ranged in the Happily Married Level. Normally everyone will be expecting to have such blessed relationship and a marriage that is full of joy. The picture which both parties will be giving each other will be misleading (Driving fancy cars, clothes, money). Reality usually flashes its lights when proposed although it will be not show its source and will be still dim. 4.3.2 Love proposal stage A move that must be done with care and within the friendship level (see above the characteristics of this level). It is a stage where both parties are well versed with each other will a full detailed information. Confidence is the spice to add for a gentlemen. According to the general belief male partners are the ones that must
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propose for love while I do not see anything bad for females to propose a male for love. It is decision that someone is supposed to do after an understanding. I normally say it is the beginning of the “Danger Zone”, which means everything that is to be done must be done with care. Most of the people asked me why I was referring this stage to be dangerous when I pre-launched the sketched model at Anglimethosoc Chinhoyi in 2017. The main reason is for a normal lady seeking for love she starts an assessment of whom the guy is while every action will be monitored and evaluated for future use. To the ladies caution is to be taken not to be carried away until the iron is red. Normally this stage comes with one partner being in the darkness, both or all of them aware of actions that are taking place (their feelings at same level). As ladies can initiate the guy to propose, still caution is and will be for the both sides. This represents a little of light which must force the infatuation to fall while the love feelings increase. This will be done within the Friendship level or in the Family level. 4.3.3 Waiting stage Everyone hates being kept waiting but let me say this it is funny to know that someone is waiting for you no matter how you will take. The feeling called love, cannot be separated from patience, hope, trust and sacrifice. This third stage is one of the highest risky stage which is the pick of the “Danger Zone”. After proposing, “I love you ……” the most right and good answer said by most ladies will be, “I will think about it/ Give me time to think….” Why do they say so? They do not want to rush without proper assessment. Ask me I will say that reply simply means let us start the interview. Ladies it is not a marriage proposal (see 4.3.8) that needs your yes or no instantly. Take your time to see that friend of yours in a different
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dimension now. People must learn to know that people they are whom they are because of the angle you are viewing them. Once you change that angle might not be as you thought from the first. Most of the people can have opposite sex friends which they do not want to lose but give them solution of not parting with someone that is marriage, they will definitely respond “no way�. What to be done in this waiting stage? It is a period where the proposed partner must take time to understand and view the guy as the future husband and how they will be compatible. The information to be used must be form the current actions as compared to the friendship level character. This will definitely help the lady to make a balanced decision. To the proposer, impressions are of best interest and interactions must be monitored as well as areas of visits. Seriousness must be shown and it is the best time to increase (if you have been doing) numbers of dates and showing responsible. Never fight to increase infatuation but rather love through openness, honesty which I know it fights and opposes the traditional claim of keeping the truth away until married. The best way is to know truth must be revealed in stages but everything must be done before marriage to avoid speeding the End stage. There are certain information that can is necessary for this stage. Truth about your family (never go in deep), and other general things which includes your hobbies, favourites etc. The trends must be a move from the fictions to the reality view as infatuation must be falling due to unveiling of truth and the love feelings growing. This will also make it a point the increase in the love feelings must be at the end of the Family level or the beginning of the Friendship level for the next stage to be easy. Again it helps to shorten the time for the Waiting stage.
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4.3.4 Decision stage Decision is what makes us tomorrow the best is hoped for by everyone. It’s a game of choices available and pertaining to this stage it is a yes or a no. It is hard to spend the rest of your life with a wrong partner as it will be better to be alone. If all the information which one had collected satisfies to make a judgement of the worthiness of this first trial (couple). This stage marks the end of the “Danger Zone� To the proposed, never decide if the relationships future is not yet determined. The decision must be based on true feelings that have nothing to do with material things and looks. The proposers must ensure that they reach this point with patience and never force or manipulate ladies to decide if they are not certain for results might be biased and high chances they might lose the marriage material type. This is the first stage where there must be a balance of infatuation and love feelings at the courtship level. This is a result of the open mind that will be able to distinguish between lust and true feelings. According to the model above, there is now other two lines proceeding down which represents the infatuation line 2 and the love feeling line 2. These lines are representing the rejection of the proposal in stage 2. This partner will be termed failure because of information obtained from the waiting period. However the information is quite good the trends continue. 4.3.5 Early Couple stage Back to the assumptions backing this model, love grows. This assumption gives it an explanation on why the early days of the couple will be characterised by slight growth and not sharp except the infatuation which will be trending now basing on efforts made by the other partner.
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
Partners will encounter moments of fear which might lead to a slight growth of love feelings among them. The infatuation might shoot higher than the standard shown but it might act as an indicator which is not good, some actions are to be done (more self-control). Openness will be low and trust will be being underway. Indicators of this stage are trust, care, honesty, confidence and usually understanding. However it is the reborn or restarting point of the failed trends. 4.3.6 Mid Couple stage As time frame is nothing to this model, the middle stage have nothing much but most of the couples do not spend much time here. Basically the infatuation will shoot as aspects such as romantic things (limited to the PBR) comes into play. The partners are more of understanding and focused. The trends suggest a more stable love feelings which means partners are to treat everything as it is. Friends and other people close starts to notice the relationships. 4.3.7 Late Couple stage It is a good thing again for me to say in most situations heart breaks that are made in this stage usually are the most painful and some have graves. It marks the last stage of courtship. Partners will have made alerts to 2 if not all the full three parties involved in marriage (Primary. Secondary and Tertiary). The parties have a better understanding of each other and they are about to make a life time commitment. According to the FT, the love must be grown to a better more stage than before thus to reach nearly the marriage level. 4.3.8 Marriage proposal stage “Will you marry me? Yes I do/No I don’t ….” Thus the game of love, expect anything. This is stage that I believe signs off the all silly things and secrets. It is normally
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
resembled by the use of a ring. Partners who agree to this will proceed while those who do not will fall (as indicated by the infatuation line 3 and the love feeling line 3. Failures normally still hold for another chance but usually goes down to 0% which is the enemy level) Trust me, with a ring on the hand love increases and the partners will be at the last confession moments. Anything secret that passes this stage will definitely tarnish and depreciate the other partner’s love which will also affect the average graph for both. It is not about the ring but it is the promise that will have been made that is more important as Millennials now believe. 4.3.9 Marriage stage Will you marry me? Is not marriage. Marriage stage now involves the payment of bride price (lobola) and the union in law (Wedding). Most of the people do no longer value this in today’s world but I do believe it is one of the main reason why most of the marriages have no weights (value, respect and recognition). After fulfilment of those, honey moon and all those gifts will naturally boost the infatuation to the delusional partner level. True feelings will increase if they were following the trends from the start. 4.3.10 Early Marriage stage This is the only moment when an increase in Infatuation will also have an increase in the love feeling. This makes it good to say never offer what you will not be able to continuously offer. It is characterised by the closeness, chit chatting, shyness and other funny activities and usually starts just after honey moon (if the partners manage). High infatuation and an increase in love, trust gained to a better level as fear of disappointment vanishes.
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
4.3.11 Mid Marriage stage Characteristics of this stage are reality of the choices made on the third stage and the eighth stage. I do becomes the reality of what you wanted to do. Usually fluctuations of infatuation line will be minimised and partners are supposed to continue increasing their love to each other for the marriage to continue. 4.3.12 Late Marriage stage Partners who strive for the Happily Married level are the ones that usually experience more of this stage and most have achieved that level here. It is as stage where mutual understanding and conflict management is handled with maturity. It is not only care, trust, patience that will be into play but maturity too. Love as a feeling will no longer be expressed as from the early stages of both rather through experience. The late stage is the best of all stages. 4.3.13 End stage As I said from the beginning, everything that starts will end because if Jesus is the Alpha and Omega then all other things are between. This is the most painful stages of all which I know it hurts so many parties. Normally on vowels people they say “till death till us apart� and to me thus the end. Yes some they fail during the way and some they speed this stage come as they divorce but all what I know is it shall come to an end. According to the model, this is the only time when the infatuation falls to 0% for the partners and the true love will also fall slightly before stabilising (the case when one partner dies). I personally believe if death comes into play no matter you die on the same spot, same day, time the marriage will end there. Read Matthew 22:2430.
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Little Things To Know Before Marriage - A Muss Thoughts Article
Musariri Brian
THANK YOU, ASANTE
About Muss Thoughts Muss Thoughts is a brand that represents the inspiring and advices of Musariri Brian through articles, lessons, teachings, training, poems, drama, stories and quotes written with a better and balanced analysis based on real life events and the world at large. Musariri Brian is a professional Marketer born an entrepreneur with an aspiration to inspire the world through his writings. His advices are from business, social, spiritual and also futuristic focus. For more Infor:
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