love yourself A BOOK BY BRIAR BLACKIE
TWENTY
wonderful women Alex
Larissa
Melanie
Paula
Anahita
Melissa
Louise
Camella
Lovely
Antonia
Brittney
Karen
Virginie
Raewyn
Ve r i t y
Katie
Paige
Robyn
Alexandra
Briar
our story “Love yourself� has been created to encourage women all around to purely and truly fall in love with their own skin. I have progressively brought together twenty wonderful women who have gone completely above and beyond their comfort limits which have been so inspiring in so many ways. Stepping in front of the camera is one very important step to regaining self-love for our own being. When I have photographed these women, I have provided a blanket as an option not to hide, but to feel comfort while engaging in such a frightening experience. It is completely in their own hands a s t o h o w m u c h s k i n t h e y s h o w. I explain the more skin they allow t h e m s e l v e s t o s h o w, t h e m o r e beneficial it is for their mind and their soul.
E a c h m o d e l h a s a b e a u t i f u l s t o r y, some more detailed and delicate than others. I have asked them to select a flower that has very significant meaning to them p e r s o n a l l y, o t h e r w i s e t h e i r b i r t h f l o w e r, a n d f r o m h e r e I h a v e embossed the flower digitally onto their skin or surrounding their figure. The flowers emphasise their s t r e n g t h a n d b e a u t y, b u t a l s o m a n y other things more significant and personal to the women themselves. My ambition is to remind women that taking care of themselves, m e n t a l l y, p h y s i c a l l y a n d s p i r i t u a l l y is the key to living well. Shifting the mindset of a woman that expresses her love towards only others is very difficult, but loving yourself always comes first, as selfish as it may seem.
Self-love is an ocean and your heart is a vessel. Make it full, and any excess will spill over into the l i v e s o f t h e p e o p l e y o u h o l d d e a r.
But YOU must come first...
ALEX
white carnation flower The Birth flower of January
The white Carnation flower represents pure and eternal love and good luck.
Self-love is eating healthy and keeping fit. My body is my temple. My version of self-love is working in the job I love, cutting toxic people out of my life, wearing whatever I want... If you feel c o n f i d e n t a n d s e x y, d o i t ! Self-love is accepting situations as they are and living in the present moment. Self-love is putting myself first and treating others as I would want to be treated. To m e , s e l f - l o v e i s a l l a b o u t actions. Until you love yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to love you...
MELANIE
lily of the valley flower The Birth flower of May
T h e L i l y o f t h e Va l l e y r e p r e s e n t s “return to happiness� and most o f t e n s y m b o l i s e s c h a s t i t y, p u r i t y, h a p p i n e s s , l u c k a n d h u m i l i t y.
ALEX & MELANIE
ALEX & MELANIE
When I was first asked to model for this shoot, I was hesitant. I said I would do it only if it didn't include parts of my body i was sensitive about. But I then realised that this is exactly why this movement is so important. We have been conditioned to be insecure about parts of our body that are natural and beautiful in the name of ' m o d e s t y. ' To m e , s e l f - l o v e i s n o t bowing down to what might be socially acceptable and hiding the rest. Self-love is loving yourself for every part - not limited to societal confines.
A N A H I TA
A N A H I TA
A N A H I TA
marigold and lotus flower T h e Tr a d i t i o n a l f l o w e r s o f I n d i a
The Marigold flower has a very important and prominent place on any occasion of celebration, either its welcoming of some important p e r s o n , t h e m a r r i a g e c e r e m o n y, a festival celebration, a pooja of diety or any function. The Lotus is the national flower of India and is a symbol of supreme r e a l i t y.
Self-love and awareness/acceptance to me is through self fulfillment by not co-existing with life but by embracing it. Self-love is a simple reality on which we can depend. It is nonjudgmental, is solid, pure and special. I t i s s a f e a g a i n s t a l l l i f e ’s p r e s s u r e s . Just like the seasons come and go, life is all about changes and achievements but also obstacles and adversities such as the collapse o f o n e ’s m a r r i a g e . To c o m e t h r o u g h a s t r o n g e r p e r s o n , the key is to acknowledge and accept and then to nurture and embrace. I believe in being my own best friend, keeping things simple and to laugh at myself. It is easy to fall into the trap of becoming your own w o r s t e n e m y. I am working on not becoming obsessed with my fears at the expense of my dreams and at all times maintaining a heart and a home which is always open and welcoming. I t h a n k y o u B r i a r, m y d a u g h t e r, f o r encouraging me to comfortably focus more on my own selfdevelopment.
LOUISE
LOUISE
LOUISE
hawthorn flower The Birth flower of May
The Hawthorn flower beautifully s y m b o l i s e s b a l a n c e a n d d u a l i t y.
In a world where the beauty industry and societal standards for women and their appearances are set so high, it's imperative to be able to ground yourself and at least be able to accept and embrace yourself at a minimum. Due to the fact that every human on this planet is unique, we all face incredibly different and varied levels of adversity and challenges.
VIRGINIE
Therefore self-love for one person can be on an entirely different plane to that of another person. B a s i c a l l y, i f y o u c a n r e t u r n h o m e a t the end of the day and be grateful for who you are and your physical vessel that you've been blessed enough to go through this life with, then that for me is self-love and something you can be proud of achieving.
VIRGINIE
white chrysanthemum flower A symbol of Loyalty and Devotion
W h e n y o u a r e a M o t h e r, a l l o f y o u r love and energy goes into your love for your child, so much that we often forget to love and cherish our own being.
Self-love has very little to do with how you feel about your outer self.
L O V E LY
I t ’s m o r e a b o u t b e i n g a w a r e o f your being and accepting all of yourself...
L O V E LY
sampaguita flower T h e Tr a d i t i o n a l f l o w e r o f t h e P h i l i p p i n e s
The Sampaguita flower has a long history as a symbol of love and devotion.
For years I have struggled to learn how to love, feel more confident and embrace who I am and what I look like. I am a girl who has no self-love for my own being. I would often look at photos of other people and compare myself... And this was not good for my self esteem. I will still sometimes look at photos of myself and rip them to pieces looking at them and think,
BRITTNEY
why can’t I be happy with my life and who I am? One important thing I take into mind is there is no one else like me out there and it is all about m y j o u r n e y, n o t o t h e r s . I ’ m s t i l l learning to love myself and step outside my comfort zone, but for now I just need to celebrate myself and the things I do to love me for who I am!
BRITTNEY
daffodil flower The Birth flower of March
The primary symbolism of the Daffodil is that of new beginnings, rebirth and the coming of spring. W h i l e i t a l s o r e p r e s e n t s c r e a t i v i t y, i n s p i r a t i o n , r e n e w a l a n d v i t a l i t y, awareness and inner reflection, memory and forgiveness.
Self-love to me is accepting and respecting all aspects of yourself. W e a r e a l l p e r f e c t i n o u r o w n w a y. I t ’s t a k e n m e a l o n g t i m e t o l o v e myself. I’ve had my ups and downs but with age I’ve finally realised how important self-love is.
VERITY
VERITY
VERITY
gladiolus flower The Birth flower of August
The Gladiolus flower symbolises honour and remembrance, but it has other meanings too... S t r e n g t h o f c h a r a c t e r, f a i t h f u l n e s s , s i n c e r i t y a n d i n t e g r i t y, i n f a t u a t i o n and never giving up.
Self-love to me isn’t just about thinking good things about your b o d y. To m e , i t i s a b o u t r e s p e c t i n g your body enough to fill it with good things. Whether that be whole foods, packing your mind with positive and happy thoughts o r m o v i n g y o u r b o d y, n o t b e c a u s e it will make you skinny but because it feels good..
PA I G E
Self-love to me is the realisation that how you treat your body is proportional to how it treats you and in learning that, fill it with wholeness, happiness and love and that is what you will radiate to the world
PA I G E
hawthorn flower The Birth flower of May
Whilst the Hawthorn flower is commonly associated with birthdays in the month of May and symbolises one thing, the blossom is charming and cheerful, two qualities commonly associated with people b o r n i n M a y.
People can find beauty in anything l i k e r o s e s a n d s u n s e t s k i e s . Tw o different things but we still find them beautiful in their own ways. But then when we look at people we start stereotyping what is beautiful. I myself suffer from f e e l i n g i n s e c u r e a b o u t m y b o d y. I feel like my shoulders are too big in proportion to my hips, my arms aren’t slim enough, my torso is not long enough, the little scar on my lip making my lips not symmetrical, m y t e e t h w h i c h a r e s l i g h t l y w o n k y, the birthmark on my neck which gets mistaken for a love mark or a rash. But these quirks, they are part of you, they don’t define you. Just because you have these quirks does not mean you are more worthless than others that do not have the same. This world has used so much Photoshop, people can not tell the difference between real and edited. Body imagine and self love starts with acceptance, not dismissive.
ALEXANDRA
ALEXANDRA
ALEXANDRA
sweet pea flower The Birth flower of April
The tantalising smell of Sweet Pea blossoms greets those with birthdays in the month. This flower is connected with a youthful energy and outright pleasure.
Five months ago I was diagnosed w i t h t h r o a t c a n c e r. . B e f o r e t h a t happened I doubt I would have posed for these photos. I was always worried about my weight but doing nothing about it. Life just ticked along, but getting my diagnosis made me realise that people love me for who I am, not how I look.. Now I have learnt to appreciate each minute for all the great people in my life and loving them and myself is what self love means to me. Having the photos taken was fun and I didn't worry about how I looked!
PA U L A
PA U L A
PA U L A
protea flower O n e o f t h e w o r l d ’s o l d e s t f l o w e r s
The Protea flower is unusual and very inspiring. B e i n g o n e o f t h e w o r l d ’s o l d e s t f l o w e r s , t h e P r o t e a ’s s k i l l a t surviving can help anyone battling cancer or another major disease. Commonly agreed upon meanings f o r t h e P r o t e a f l o w e r a r e d i v e r s i t y, daring, transformation and courage.
I believe self-love is all about being who you want to be and being happy in your own skin. D o i n g w h a t m a k e s y o u h a p p y. There is only one of you and you've been put on this earth for a reason. Yo u d o y o u a n d w h a t m a k e s y o u r world go round. 'I am not beautiful like YOU, I am beautiful like ME.’
LARISSA
LARISSA
LARISSA
daisy flower The Birth flower of April
The most generally accepted meanings behind a daisy flower are i n n o c e n c e , p u r i t y, n e w b e g i n n i n g s and true love.
L o v i n g m y s e l f f u l l y, a c c e p t i n g my faults, honouring my scars, realising my body is a REMARKABLE vessel that allows me to live a life with many adventures. Knowing I'm worth more than a number on a scale or the size of a dress. M y b o d y i s m y j o u r n e y, w i t h s o many stories, some good some bad. In the end I am the person I am today because of what I've endured in my life and I LOVE and appreciate the strength I have within ME! Self love, is a beauty we all own, it's just something we find hard to believe we have. I want to encourage and empower us as WOMEN to be PROUD of who we are...
MELISSA
MELISSA
MELISSA
larkspur flower The Birth flower of July
While the Larkspur flower family symbolises many things, such as love, affection, strong attachment, lightness, pure heart, sweet d i s p o s i t i o n a n d d e s i r e f o r l a u g h t e r, the white Larkspur represents overall happiness.
S e l f - l o v e . Wa s t h e re e v e r a h a rd e r goal for a woman to achieve? For me, self-love has meant learning t o s t a n d i n f r o n t o f a m i r r o r, f a c e myself, and celebrate all that I am. Every tiny bit. Rather than mourning what I am not, and wishing for something else. Self love has meant finding the strength to accept not only who I a m t o d a y, b u t e v e r y t h i n g I h a v e been, the choices I have made, the risks I have taken, because they are all part of me. Self-love has been discovering the freedom to be proud of my d i v e r s i t y. T h e c o l o u r o f m y s k i n paints one story while the lilt of m y v o i c e s p e a k s a n o t h e r. I a m two worlds brought together in a w o n d e r f u l w a y. I a m u n i q u e a n d loving myself means rejoicing in t h i s , n o t t r y i n g t o b l e n d i t a w a y. Self-love is, I believe, one of the most challenging things for a woman to achieve, yet the most crucial and worthwhile goal we c o u l d e v e r y s t r i v e f o r. B e i n g a b l e to say “I am enough�. Could there be a better feeling?
CAMELLA
CAMELLA
CAMELLA
bog rosemary flower W ild flower native to Ireland
The Bog Rosemary flower is a wild and poisonous flower native to Ireland. This flower doesn’t hold any particular symbolism other than the fact that it beautifully connects this woman to her culture.
To m e s e l f - l o v e i s a b o u t a c c e p t a n c e and appreciation of ones self, not only physically but also mentally a n d e m o t i o n a l l y. I t ' s o n l y s i n c e b e c o m i n g a m o t h e r, that I’ve grown to accept and love myself and the body that has grown and nurtured three beautiful children. I believe it is an important concept that I want to encourage in their lives.
ANTONIA
ANTONIA
ANTONIA
pink carnation flower A s y m b o l o f a M o t h e r ’s d e e p l o v e
While the white Carnation flower represents pure love and good luck, which is appropriate for the occasion, a pink Carnation flower represents a m o t h e r ’s d e e p l o v e f o r h e r child.
Work on loving the person in the mirror who has been through so much but is still standing. Are you expecting yourself to be perfect rather than allowing yourself to be human? Making a mistake doesn’t undo all your accomplishments. I choose to be kind, gentle and patient with myself.
KAREN
B e n ’s q u i l t The love for this quilt is multi layered. I made it for my darling boy when he was young. He loved it his whole life. It had many uses... A floor cover to tip all his Lego onto ready to build, a cosy wrap to curl up in and watch television, a roof for his amazing dens, a bed for his favourite cat, a travel quilt for sleeping in the car and of course a warm covering for his bed. So many memories made... The same covering that protectively covered his body for five precious days after he had left us... A memory that will be forever etched into my heart. I knew then that I would always treasure this quilt that reminds me of my love for my beautiful child.
KAREN
Grief is excruciating and relentless. It can be lonely and cruel. But it can also be humbling and connecting and gives you strength that you would have never thought possible. Among the many things I have learnt since losing my son is to try to be self-compassionate. It has taken me years and is still hard at t i m e s t o d o . To b e k i n d t o m y s e l f , to know my limitations which are so different to before and to forgive my mistakes in the knowledge that we are all human beings just trying our very best. U s i n g B e n ’s q u i l t i n t h i s p h o t o w a s emotional and lovely and sad all at the same time but another way to honour him and keep him part of m y l i f e ’s j o u r n e y.
KAREN
daisy flower F r e y a ’s s a c r e d f l o w e r
While the Daisy flower represents many things through the birth month of April, the Daisy came by symbolising childbirth, motherhood, and new beginnings.
For me, self-love represents a consistent awareness of balance and a gifting of permission for change. Balance means holding a value of peace inside where my overarching nourishment is in trusting Gods perspective in all m y l i f e ’s c o n t e x t s . P e r m i s s i o n f o r change respects that we keep growing, developing, maturing and reflecting. Our environments and perspectives change but in this I trust the gold in the values I have and will choose that to protect and respect my hearts peace.
RAEWYN
rose flower The Birth flower of June
The beautiful Rose is delicate, yet capable of protecting itself with its thorns. It symbolises love, devotion, p a s s i o n a n d c o n f i d e n t i a l i t y.
For me, self-love is expressed in my quest for wellness. Not just physical wellness but also spiritual and emotional wellness. It is my is a my
when I stop and really listen to own needs and desires. There connecting tenderness towards flaws and forgiving myself for being imperfect.
It is a very soft love, as opposed to the ferocious love I feel for my children.
K AT I E
cosmos The Love flower
The word Cosmos in Greek means o r d e r l y, b e a u t i f u l a n d o r n a m e n t a l . T h e f l o w e r ’s f r a g r a n c e a n d v i b r a n t colours give it the attributes of peacefulness, wholeness and m o d e s t y.
The way of self-love. Be curious about living fully in the great love that is yours as a given. Then, love being already extended, allow yourself to accept yourself as is. Oh forgive yourself as much as possible. Be as intentional as you can about embracing the whole of yourself as lovely and lovable; showing kindness and compassion to both the light, dark and grey that is within all of us, and makes us unique and human. Give yourself permission to be content in your own skin, your own present, and in your own moment, where all is as it is. Self-love, I believe, begins with self-acceptance and journeys to contentedness, gratefulness, joy and grace.
ROBYN
lily of the valley flower The Birth flower of May
People born in May are also considered to be humble and virtuous, and the white bell-shaped flowers of this plant send that message loud and clear to anyone viewing the blooms.
K A R E N , R A E W Y N , K AT I E & R O B Y N
K A R E N , R A E W Y N , K AT I E & R O B Y N
K A R E N , R A E W Y N , K AT I E & R O B Y N
K A R E N , R A E W Y N , K AT I E & R O B Y N
briar blackie The woman behind “love yourself�
What a journey this has been, to encourage women that they are worth more than pure gold. Don’t ever forget to fall in love with yourself first. Nourish your b o d y, a n d t r e a t y o u r s k i n l i k e delicate silk, surround yourself with people who have the warmth of a mid summer sun and always be kind to yourself, then let your kindness fill the world. Self-love to me is about being fearlessly and relentlessly true to y o u r o w n b e i n g , b e f o r e a n y o t h e r, because you deserve to be cared f o r, y o u d e s e r v e t o b e l o v e d . . . Tr e a t y o u r s e l f l i k e a s m a l l c h i l d because our skull and our heart are still as fragile as eggshells and our stories should proudly be told through the surface of our skin to the depth of our core. Self-love is an important ingredient to living well. The love you project s h a p e s y o u e n t i r e l y.
BRIAR
aster flower The Birth flower of September
The Aster flower has enjoyed a rich cultural history filled with legends of magical gods and goddesses, but its most common meanings are p a t i e n c e , l o v e o f v a r i e t y, e l e g a n c e and daintiness.
acknowledgements I wish to not only thank all the beautiful women in this book, but for all of those women to thank themselves for being proud of who they are and allowing their inner strength to shine through. I cannot thank you all enough for the support and the very sweet comments. Without you all endearing yourselves to the elements and willingly sharing both your valuable and intimate time with me then I sincerely feel I could not have made this project possible. Lovingly yours Briar
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LOVE YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU DESERVE TO BE LOVED